Tuesday, April 05, 2016

You guys suck!


Seriously, no new post in almost two months???  Leave it to a woman to have to do a man’s job for him/them…

Yeah, I got inspired to do a surprise post for LOV when I stopped by and saw how old the last post was and realized that you foolishly left me with posting access.  Of course since I’m doing the post that means I get to decide what it’s about, so today we are going to talk about periods, makeup, high heels and the Kardashians!

OK, maybe not.  Instead we are going to talk about GOLF.  (That’s why I stopped by LOV to start with, to see if you were talking about The Masters yet.)  In case y’all already forgot I grew up in Augusta and worked at “The Tournament” while in high school, and Masters’ week is still one of my favorite weeks of the year.

Instead of going with my initial idea of listing who I think are the hottest golfers, I decided to give you my rankings for my favorites for this week.  I could go all EP like and spend several paragraphs explaining each choice, but I’m instead doing the lazy (wo)man’s version and just listing my rankings of my favorites with a brief comment or two.  Most of this will obviously be based on how well they’ve been playing lately, but of course is also based partly on woman’s intuition. 

1) Jason Day – He’s won his last 2 starts and 6 of his past 13, including the 2015 PGA, and is # 1 in the world.  A clear favorite and obvious choice as the # 1 favorite this week.

2) Henrik Stenson – This is probably more intuition than based on facts, as even though he is playing very well of late (including placing 3rd and 2nd in his last two tournaments), he has never finished better than 14th in 10 trips to Augusta.  But foreigners always seem to dominate The Masters and I anticipate that he will continue that trend this year.

3) Rory McIlroy – Insanely talented and only needs The Masters for a career grand slam.  My only worry though is that he might want this one a little TOO much (see 2011 Masters final round…)

4) Adam Scott – Everyone thought he’d struggle when he had to switch away from the long putter but it seems like if anything his putting has gotten better.  He’s also been playing amazing so far this year with 2 wins and obviously knows what it takes to win this tournament.  (Spoiler alert, he’d also be right at the top of my hottest golfers list...)

5) Dustin Johnson – I consider this my riskiest pick.  He’s clearly got the talent, and seems to have put the (alleged) cocaine use behind him, but I worry that even if he starts out well he’ll choke yet again at some point.  He certainly has a history of that at the majors.  But I keep thinking that at some point he has to put it all together, and this could definitely be that week.  (Plus, any guy that goes home to Paulina Gretzky gets my respect.)

Conspicuously missing from my list is defending champion Jordan Spieth, but other than his first tournament of 2016 something just seems a little “off” with his game to me.   But then again he always seems to be able to really focus and put it together when the stage is big so he could easily still be in the hunt come Sunday.  A few other random names that I expect to do well this week are Rickie Fowler, Justin Rose and Phil Mickleson. 

Finally, there’s the man I can never predict – Bubba Watson.  I’m still doing Yahoo Fantasy Golf and whenever I pick Bubba to do well he tanks, and whenever I avoid him he does well.  I see him as having an equal chance this week to win his third Masters as he does to miss the cut.

BONUS SLEEPER PICKS:  Danny Willett and Rafal Cabrera-Bello.

And since it appears likely that this post may remain as the most recent one for many months, I’ll go ahead and wish everyone a good Fourth of July!

238 comments:

1 – 200 of 238   Newer›   Newest»
Keef said...

Dustin Johnson won't win a major because he can't putt

Keef said...

Beth must not be getting enough attention at home

S

Beth said...

Beth never gets enough attention, not just at home. (S?) :)

Meiz said...

Whoa, whoa, whoa. No Spieth?

Also, thank you for this. I love you.

Blue said...

Hunter Mahan, that's my pick

El Padrino said...

Ill take field

Keef said...

I don't think Spieth makes top 10

Beth said...

Spieth is tough to predict this year for sure. I was reading yesterday how his first 2 years he was 2nd and 1st, which is MUCH better than anyone else has ever done their first 2 years there. Also, apparently 7 of his 8 rounds at The Masters have been under par (with his 8th round being exactly par). Hard to totally discount him with that history.

Keef said...

My pick is Louis Oosthuizen

Keef said...

masters.com live streaming is the better

Keef said...

Nevermind, I'll take Spieth

tem said...

if it helps you all I think Spieth has 0 chance of winning.

so there you go. your 2016 Masters Champ.

Beth said...

Yeah, can I change my rankings to put Spieth in there somewhere?

Keef said...

Els 7-putting from 3 feet away was amazing.

Meiz said...

My friends can no longer mock me for 5 putting once back in '03. Thank you, Ernie Els.

Beth said...

Spieth not only makes a bogey but actually makes a double. I was just starting to wonder if the kid was human...

Keef said...

Will Smiff. Dead.

tem said...

Told you 0 chance

tem said...

Props to beth on the sleeper pick

Beth said...

"Dustin Johnson won't win a major because he can't putt"

Good call, if he could putt he'd be the Masters' champ today.

And yeah, I'm proud of my sleeper pick, it helps make up for the misses on my regular picks. (I'm looking mostly at you Henrik.)

Keef said...

Beth & I should start a golf podcast

ToddPacker said...

PJ shows in Sunrise and Miami over the weekend kicked my ass. I got nothing left in the tank for tonight's Tampa show.

ToddPacker said...

way to step up, Beth. good post.

Keef said...

old man

ToddPacker said...

yes, old man is correct

Aitch said...

How dumb is Josh Gordon?

Keef said...

For getting Manziel as a roommate or failing another drug test?

Aitch said...

Probably both, but I was referring to the failed test.

ToddPacker said...

H, how's Boston dealing with the Bruins missing out on the playoffs. I didn't pay much attention to the standings the last week, but I thought they were a lock. How did Detroit get in ahead if them? not sure about the tie breaker rules, I guess

Aitch said...

They seemed like a lock in March. They were even in first place in the division at one point. But losing 10 of your last 14 games is rarely a recipe for success.

Detroit wins the you're breaker because they had 39 Combined wins in regulation and OT (non-shootout wins) to the Bruins' 38.

Aitch said...

Boston is dealing with it in our usual, graceful manner, demanding that everyone be fired and the roster be blown up.

Aitch said...

*tie break

Jesus

Meiz said...

"Boston is dealing with it in our usual, graceful manner, demanding that everyone be fired and the roster be blown up."

Goddamn spoiled brats.

Aitch said...

A little bit. I can admit that. I do think they should fire Julien, though. I thought that after last year. He's not suddenly a bad coach or anything, but sometimes the message gets lost after too many years in one place.

tem said...

90% of hockey coaches have a 2 year shelf life with a team then they get tuned out.

Science.

Blue said...

Warriors are pretty good

Blue said...

Is Kobe a hall of famer??

Discuss

Beth said...

"Is Kobe a hall of famer??"

As very much a non-basketball fan, I have to say I didn't think this was an issue even a tiny bit. I thought it was a total no-brainer that he's a hall of famer. Am I wrong about that?

ToddPacker said...

"Is Kobe a hall of famer?? "

you forgot the (s)

Keef said...

yeah that was totally an S question

tem said...

kobe is not a hall of famer.


he just retired like yesterday and there is a few year waiting period until you get in.

Blue said...

well we now see that beth is still gullible

Aitch said...

She is blonde after all

Keef said...

What's your excuse?

Aitch said...

I'm fat

Beth said...

"well we now see that beth is still gullible"

Maybe MY comment was S also...


(Spoiler alert - It wasn't, I'm just SO not a basketball fan. Well except for Lebron in Trainwreck. That counts, right?)

Keef said...

I've got an abscess in my cheek/lip area. Them shits are painful and uncomfortable. Plus it looks like I had a stroke.

Meiz said...

Lordy lou. Good luck with that.

Keef said...

Went to the doc this morning and he was sticking 18 gauge needles in it to get a culture. I started crying.

NS

Meiz said...

Ugh. I think my undiagnosed diabetes is getting to me lately. I need to get to the doctor. My left leg burns/is numb. I'm gonna die, guys.

Keef said...

We're pathetic

Keef said...

ESPN fired schilling

Meiz said...

Twitter says you gotta go, you gotta go.

Aitch said...

I think he knew he was gonna be fired. The Muslin Extremist thing was overblown and inaccurately reported, but this was a stupid subject for him to get into if he wanted to keep his job.

Aitch said...

Local sports talk theory is he was trying to get fired because yet didn't have his back after the last controversy.

Meiz said...

BULLSHIT.

Keef said...

He is just one of those people who thinks they can say anything without repercussions. World don't work like that anymore. For better or worse.

Aitch said...

Yea, I'm kinda torn, honestly. People like to preach tolerance, but only if it's for the cause de jour. We can't tolerate someone being an idiot or saying something that's contrary to popular public sentiment.

On the flip side, though, ESPN can hire or fire people as they see fit, in what they believe to be the best interest of their company.

I just hate the idea of living in a world where an unpopular opinion can cause someone to lose their livelihood. I know media and celebrities are a different standard, but you occasionally see it with private citizens as well.

Keef said...

If this was the first time he did something stupid, I'd say yeah, punishment is probably extreme. But that douche has a history of doing/saying dumb stuff.He likes to get reactions from people by doing/saying stuff that he knows could be considered offensive, then he drops the "it's your problem if you're offended" line.

Keef said...

Chyna. Dead.

ToddPacker said...

prince dead

Keef said...

oh boy. Mize is crushed. Would he still F him, though?

Blue said...

Wtf prince?

Blue said...

Read the wright Thompson piece on tiger woo. Great story

ToddPacker said...

"Read the wright Thompson piece on tiger woo. Great story"

yeah, it was a good read. sas that tiger was too cheap to buy lunch for his navy seal buddies

Blue said...

That's rich people

Meiz said...

"oh boy. Mize is crushed."

I've fought off tears at least 5 times today.

Blue said...

Big fire in Gilbert say night.' Pray for keef

Keef said...

That was big news here. We were eating dinner right across the street from it right after it started. It's about 2 miles from my house. Apparently they had 35 trucks working it at one point. Biggest news in years here.

Aitch said...

AYFKM with this Deflategate shit?

Keef said...

cheaters

tem said...

LP need a stock pick for a 6 month hold and sell.

tem said...

brady douched it up with that cell phone crap.

he instructed those dudes to deflate balls. he needs to sit a few games out. 1st court should have never ruled in his favor. goodell is like he man....he has the power.

Keef said...

tem's right. If you ain't got shit to hide, don't act like you do.

Blue said...

even if they're nude selfies?

Keef said...

delete them.

Blue said...

Tem -

Home Depot or Lowes. with the housing values rising like crazy, more and more people are tapping into equity to do home projects...

Keef said...

When I started at HD way back when, their stock was at about $40. I could have got in with a 10% discount, but I didn't think I'd be there that long. Now it's what, $110? Good job Keith.

tem said...

HD is at a 52 week high.

lowes is almost at a 52 week high.

guess I'll go with lowes.

tem said...

buying in February would have been better

Blue said...

maybe i'm giving advise that is old then

Keef said...

yeah, stop advicing him

tem said...

Lp will chime in eventually

Keef said...

JC Penney, ex Home Depot VP guy is CEO there or something.

Keef said...

That would have been better advise* in February, too.

Blue said...

don't buy sears, or maybe short sears if you know how to do that

Blue said...

under armour

it's about to blow up when steph curry wins finals MVP

Blue said...

and jordan speith wins the masters

Meiz said...

Didn't Speith wear Jordans at The Masters?

Blue said...

i highly doubt that considering he's a walking billboard for the UA brand

Blue said...

unless they're calling his new shoes, like green jordans

Keef said...

Didn't Speith wear Jordans at The Masters?



No, that's just his name

Blue said...

apparently the name of his UA shoes are "tin cup"

Meiz said...

Well who the fuck wore Js at the Masters?

Keef said...

Keegan

tem said...

Penny is probably pretty cheap

tem said...

Lp missed all the stock talk.

Guess we should talk about dicks if we want him to chime in.

Hey LP if stocks were dicks what would you pick to get a 6 month rise and blow?

ToddPacker said...

no Stanley Cup finals bet with Jug this year

Keef said...

That was a good game though

Blue said...

Lp can't advice, he's busy saving his bank from being to big to fail

tem said...

Where does meiz work? I should buy stock in that company

Keef said...

I don't understand the NHL playoff matchups. StL played Chicago, even though StL had the 2nd best record in the west and Chicago had the 3rd best in the west. LA & SJ played each other, and they had the 5th and 6th best records. wtf

El Padrino said...

Safe or speculative?

tem said...

Safe

Aitch said...

"I don't understand the NHL playoff matchups. StL played Chicago, even though StL had the 2nd best record in the west and Chicago had the 3rd best in the west. LA & SJ played each other, and they had the 5th and 6th best records. wtf"

The top seed (Dallas) plays the 8th seed.
The other division winner, regardless of their record (Anaheim), plays the 7th seed. 2nd and 3rd place in each division play each other.

Keef said...

Well that's dumb

tem said...

not as dumb as not turning in your cell phone to avoid a suspension

tem said...

and not as dumb as destroying that cell phone because you haven't done anything wrong at all.

Keef said...

well of course. Who does that?

tem said...

Douchebags

Keef said...

The Clippers have been much better with Chris Paul and Blake Griffin on the court than off this season



This is why ESPN is the WWL

Blue said...

tem

new stock pick, Chipotle

Blue said...

buy today

Blue said...

you can buy one share

tem said...

i had lunch at chipotle today

Blue said...

nowhere for it to go but up

El Padrino said...

Solar city.

Its in between. Ill get you a safer pick soon.

tem said...

Lp is leading the secret TCS

El Padrino said...

Do you own Starbucks? If not you should.

Chipolte is classic buy low. Will be good for awhile. Not so sure about long term. Only the beast I like long term

El Padrino said...

Stz I like also

El Padrino said...

Phillip Morris is a great long term income pick

Fat dividend.

tem said...

apple seems to be doing well today

Blue said...

good time to buy apple in the next few days, let it bottom out, then everyone will forget that they suck and it will climb back up to $100

Blue said...

what is this crap about only having presidents on our currency.


I don't think people realize that Hamilton and Franklin ($10 and $100) were never president

Blue said...

i mean, why does it have to be a political figure.

we could have Prince on the $50 for all i care

Blue said...

apparently Lena Dunham has said that if trump is elected president, she was moving to Canada.


I was on the fence about who to vote for, this seals it now though. If I'm trump i'm using this as a rally cry. "If you want Lena Dunham out of your life forever, elect me"

tem said...

i don't really give a fuck either who is on currency.

I'd say no to Prince though. too soon and there aren't that many bills/coins for him to make the cut for me.

meiz might be mad but Prince isn't a top 50 All Time American for me.

tem said...

also, I'm not sure who Lena Dunham is. Is that the puppet guy's wife?

Keef said...

she's a pig

tem said...

if any pig is on currency it should be Porky Pig. He's a better American.

tem said...

aside: fucking Canadians don't exit our life. See: Beiber, Justin.

Blue said...

he went the other way though, he moved here from Canada, like Alan Thicke

Blue said...

i keep imagining trump's wall, like the great wall of china...if we can get one of those, that would be cool.

we'd probably have to outsource it and have some mexicans build it though, to keep it cost effective

Keef said...

Uncle Joey

Blue said...

i oughta know?

Blue said...

guess we should have told tem to buy Facebook

Blue said...

a lot of good EP is

Meiz said...

Tem, you do not want to get on this rollercoaster

El Padrino said...

Fuck facebook

Blue said...

say what?

Keef said...

What?

tem said...

I just do what LP says.

he does well.

Keef said...

non sports related

tem said...

Well his sports related is better than mine so he has me there too.

Blue said...

i guess i missed out on the hedge fund he manages

Keef said...

Dude, his fake portfolio is worth millions

tem said...

His picks have been good for me

El Padrino said...

If i had some extra scratch i would be building a sick nest egg. Spend every dollar.

Aitch said...

If ifs and buts were candy and nuts, we'd all have a merry Christmas

El Padrino said...

Not really. A lot of people are allergic to nuts.

Keef said...

Yeah, not sure when that started. Nobody was allergic to peanut butter when I was a kid.

Meiz said...

And peanut butter was less processed then. Remember having to stir the peanut butter in the jar?

Aitch said...

Kevin Faulk wearing a Brady jersey was pretty clutch

Blue said...

A kicker? Really tem?

Keef said...

Clutch pick

/H

tem said...

Most accurate kicker ever

tem said...

Worst part is they traded up to get him.

Meiz said...

Kickers score your most points. They are very important.
/Kod

tem said...

ha, kod. i remember him.

tem said...

Happy birthday keith

Keef said...

Thanks

Blue said...

Happy birthday Keith. Yesterday LinkedIn tried to tell me it was your birthday, but I knew better

Keef said...

Thanks Blue. I was wondering why people on LinkedIn were saying HB on Tuesday.

Keef said...

Big series this weekend, mize.

Meiz said...

Brewers win 3.

Keef said...

at least

Meiz said...

Christ.

Keef said...

Cool, Cincy got their one

tem said...

linkedin is dumb

Keef said...

What if it was LinkeTem

Keef said...

Bruce Judson said he decommitted from the Buckeyes after Urban Meyer didn't recognize him in a hallway.



Bye

Blue said...

Recruits these days are so spoiled

Blue said...

Happy Mother's Day Beth

tem said...

so Michael Jordan never won a unanimous MVP?

tem said...

McGregor vs mayweather boxing would be the easiest victory in mayweather's career.

Keef said...

Not if Steph was the first

tem said...

i wasn't sure if I had missed the part where they say shit like "first since 2010" or some stupid shit like that.

after watching about 5 minutes of espn I realized yeah he is the first because all they talked about was how other dudes should have been first or how other dudes shouldn't have been first.

Keef said...

I haven't watched ESPN in a while

Keef said...

Too much Nicktoons

tem said...

I only get to for about 10 minutes every few days. Kids rule the roost.

Keef said...

Pain in the asses

/LP

Meiz said...

I had something to say, but I forgot what it was.

Meiz said...

Oh yeah. Hey Beth, we need a new post.

Keef said...

George Zimmerman might be the biggest asshole in the world. And he don't gaf

Keef said...

I ordered wireless Beats2 earbuds from Amazon for cmk's bday next month. Got it delivered and I opened the Amazon box yesterday and there was an empty Beats box inside.

El Padrino said...

Okc crowd is all white. Its funny.

Keef said...

Mize, did you not know before tonight that if you want better prices on services that all you have to do is call and threaten to cancel? No way you didn't know this before today.

Blue said...

Pretty sure we offered this life hack/pro tip multiple times here

Meiz said...

"Mize, did you not know before tonight that if you want better prices on services that all you have to do is call and threaten to cancel? No way you didn't know this before today."

I've done it before, but to very little avail. Time Warner dropped my bill $40 this time. I actually did the math. Threatening to cancel isn't the key. Telling them you're switching to another provider is what gets thing moving, in my experience.

Keef said...

Well yeah, they know you're not just gonna cancel and have nothing

tem said...

Beats suck according to technical sites

Keef said...

The Bottom Line While it's a bit overpriced, the Beats Powerbeats 2 Wireless is among the best wireless sports earphones.


That's from cnet.

Meiz said...

Bluetooth headphones suck.

tem said...

Meiz knows

Keef said...

If it costs more the $4.99 mize thinks that it sucks

Meiz said...

Good English.

Blue said...

my beats have been good, but i don't have the wireless ones


but i'm not an audiophile so I wouldn't know if they sucked. They play music and it sounds good

Keef said...

Good English.



Thank you

Keef said...

nobody wants to bnew

tem said...

Nope

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"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino