Wednesday, December 16, 2015

Week 15, you mad bro?

You mad bro is still one of the funniest things to me.  Maybe i'm juvenile.  Probably

I wanted one of those hoverboard things, but now you can't buy them because they all catch on fire or something.  The danger and intrigue makes them more desirable.  I won't get one this year for christmas.  Santa is afraid of fire danger toys i guess

I will say it's very odd getting ready for christmas and it's 70 degrees everyday.  going looking for a christmas tree in shorts and a t-shirt just feels wrong.

Company christmas party tonight.  Time to get wicked smashed.  or not, i've got to drive like 30 miles home afterwards.  In my younger days that wouldn't have scared me off, but i'm not younger anymore.  I will report back with any cool pictures or interesting food offerings.

I tried to watch the GOP debates last night. It's hard, not that it's any worse than the democratic ones either, just watching debates is hard.  It's hard not to laugh at the idiotic ideas.  It's just hard.  So drink whisky and enjoy being alive, that's what I say.

On to the picks....last week I was 9-7 (again), not to shabby, EP started out weak 1-8, but finished strong in the afternoon games and SNF and MNF to finish 7-8.  What could have been a disaster was sorted out. Overall season i'm 101-86-4 (.540) and EP is 90-82-4 (.523).  So overall if you'd have bet based on all of our picks, you'd be in the money.  I take this very seriously, i don't want anyone to lose money.

Bucs +2.5 vs Rams
Sorry Tem.  I don't get the bucs.  How do you not hang 35 points on New Orleans at home?  Especially when there is an opportunity that you could still make the playoffs?  Well, that opportunity is gone now, so now you're just playing for crab legs. I guess they could still finish over .500 which would be quite the accomplishment, so not a bad season.  But the NO loss and the skins loss derailed what could have been.  Oh well.  Rams are a disaster.  Fisher is probably getting fired.  The team is moving to LA.  They don't have a QB.  I really think they aren't that far away from being competitive if they could just get some quality QB play.  Maybe they can trade for Johnny Football, or pick up Jimmy Claussen.  Bucs win the game 21-20, sorry tem

Oh by the way, I did win last week and made the final 4 in my big money fantasy league.  So I've got that going for me.  I'm glad I sat Amari Cooper.  I ended up not taking anyone's advice and played Ryan Mathews, since I know you're all interested.

Jets -3 vs Cowboys
On a saturday night?  I mean it's christmas come early.  Jets have been red hot the last few weeks.  You know that Brandon Marshall has a TD catch in 10 games this year. I know this because he's on my fantasy team...booyah.  He'll probably suck now though when I need to win to get in the money.  Eric Decker has like 9 games with a TD catch.  How about 2 former broncos doing it up nice in New York.  I like this Jets team, they could be sneaky good in the playoffs...but then I remember they have fitzpatrick.  Jets are playing for their playoff lives.  3 teams tied for 2 spots, it's sad that either the Jets, Chiefs, or Steelers won't get in the playoffs, but the Colts, texans or jags will.  Stupid. That's about all I have to say about the cowboys, other than Darren McFadden has been a great pickup in fantasy, but he's going to struggle this week.  Dez might explode after this game.  Like literally his head might just explode with brains and blood going everywhere.  Jets win 31-10.

Vikings -5.5 vs Bears
Vikings have had some extra time to prepare.  The vikings are pretty much locked into the playoffs.  Would have to be a disaster finish to not get a wildcard at this point.  That being said, they still need to keep winning.  If they can keep pace with the seahawks, then they'll get the winner of the NFC least as opposed to having to go to Lambeau.  I liked how they rebounded against the cardinals, even if they didn't get the W, they still kept it close.  Good teams like the vikings don't lose to the bears.  I like the Bears though.  Cutler has actually played pretty well.  It'll suck for him when Gase becomes the head coach of the Colts next year though.  (sorry jug).  Bears really need to overhaul that defense, and I see AP going off again for like 175 yards.  The game earlier this season was close.  But this one won't be.  Vikings win 31-20.

Falcons +3 vs Jags
I know the falcons have been bad lately, but c'mon, dogs to the jags?  You know the Jaguars technically could still make the playoffs?  I heard a stat that the Falcons haven't scored a rushing TD in like 7 straight games.  This all seems like bizarro world.  Matty Ice has thawed and now he's matty water or matty steam.  What's the opposite of having ice water in your veins? like you have shit in your veins, or drano or something.  Maybe he's Matty Drano now.  Either way, I like the Jags next year, but not this year.  Should be a shootout, except the falcons don't score a lot of points.  I don't know, i'm all over the place here.  I'll just say that the falcons finally do score a rushing TD or 3 and win the game 42-41.

Texans (off) vs Colts
TJ Yates vs Charlie Whitehurst.  How did this game not get flexed to SNF?  I mean the winner here has the inside track to the playoffs.  Colts win and they basically clinch the division, one game lead with the tie breakers with 2 to go.  I'm making this prediction assuming Luck doesn't play, which I think is a pretty strong assumption.  You know that the Colts haven't had a game where a back has rushed for over 100 yards since like 2012?  That's a real stat. JJ Watt didn't seem super comfortable with his broken hand.  I mean who would, but at least he played through it like a boss, instead of being a pussy (ahem...Andy Dalton).  Texans defense is the difference in this game.   I don't think that TJ Yates drops 51 on the colts like my man Blake Bortles did, but he'll put up 30, and that'll be enough. (by the way, how smart is Adam Gase to not take the 49ers job last year, and yes, he turned it down, now he could be coaching Andrew Luck next year, as opposed to Blaine Gabbert). Texans win 30-10.

Giants +5.5 vs Panthers
Giants seem to be a thorn in the side of undefeated teams.  Panthers have everything locked up, so motivation could be an issue.  Giants always seem to rise to the occasion here.  Giants beat the broncos in 1998 when they were 13-0.  Giants beat the Bears in 1985 when they were 12-0.  Giants almost beat, and then did beat the patriots when they were 18-0.  Actually if you go back the last 30 years, in almost every season, they've given a team their first loss.  So while none of that has any bearing on this game, it's a fun story to tell.  And I like the Giants.  Although, I do hope Josh Norman shuts down OBJ and keeps him to like one catch of 7 yards.  #fantasyplayoffreasons.  Panthers may win, but it's been coming too easy.  I like the Giants to actually pull off the upset, 24-20. (Sorry EP)

Pats +15.5 vs Titans
This one isn't even fair.  That's a gigantic number, but as I told you last week.  Mariota doesn't play well when he's pressured and against the blitz so far this year.  It hurts the pats to keep losing players some defensive tackle that I haven't heard of got hurt, and LG is out for the season now too.  But the pats are a masheen.  I trust in Belichick that he's gonna destroy a young QB.  Gronk is back-ish.  Pats have the #1 seed right in front of them, so I don't see them letting that slip away again.  Don't see how the pats don't steam-roll for this win.  42-10.

Bills (pick'em) vs Skins
Bills are just an up and down team.  One week they are great, the next they suck.  Last week was the suck week.  Skins to me are still smoke and mirrors, can't figure them out one bit.  They've been pretty good at home though, and Kirk Cousins has made him some money the last few weeks.  But I think Rex will try and confuse him some.  I don't have much else on this game except go Shady McCoy.  Throw it to him and let him run all over the skins.  I think the bills win this one straight up, 17-14.

Chiefs -7.5 vs Ravens
Chiefs are red hot right now.  Ravens are a red hot mess.  I think the seahawks killed the morale of the ravens last week, so I don't see the ravens bouncing back this week.  I'm secretly (or maybe openly) rooting for the Ravens to win this game, but that seems ridiculously unrealistic.  Chiefs offense has seemed to figure it out, unless they're in a driving rain storm.  This is a realistic AFC championship game team now that the bengals are going to go in the tank.  I'll lay the points here and let Alex Smith be the savior, 31-10 chiefs.

Browns +16 vs Seahawks
That number is just too high. I know the seahawks have been murdering fools lately.  But c'mon...that's a ridiculous number.  Seahawks are definitely hot, hottest team in football not named the Panthers.  Rounding into form to make another run.  Johnny Manziel actually can play.  He's not too awful when given the chance.  This is a little tougher game, going on the road against a much better defense, but I still think he can keep it kinda close.  maybe i'm wrong, maybe i'm right.  who knows.  Final score seahawks win but don't cover 35-24.

Packers -3 vs Raiders
I like the raiders, but don't love them.  They had no business winning that game last week against the broncos. Drop in the endzone by DT, and Osweiler missed a wide open Virgil Green in the EZ (threw it about 10 yards over his head).  Both of those convert and the broncos win by 8.  Lowest yardage total to win a game in like 20 years or something.  But i digress.  I feel like the Pack kind of figured things out last week.  They can run the ball and throw it to Randall Cobb, they'll be alright.  This is like a home game for Rodgers too, Northern California kid.  Bet you didn't know that, or you probably did.  I like Amari Cooper to have a big bounce back game, especially without a good CB on the packers.  Overall though, the packers are the better team and should win by a TD.  Pack win 24-17.

Dolphins +1 vs Chargers
Chargers shouldn't be favored against anybody.  The dolphins aren't that bad. Can't believe that the dolphins are in a tie game against the Giants on Monday night, and they only give the ball to lamar miller two times in the second half.  Twice?  seriously.  Anyway, McCoy is getting fired in San Diego.  The chargers are moving to LA (although i did hear a guy here suggest that when the chargers move to LA, the jags will move to San Diego).  You know the chargers have scored only 3 points in 3 of their last 4 games, I know that, and now you know, and I do know that you know that knowing is half the battle. So we've got that going for us.  Chargers could get the #1 pick, it's within their grasp.  Although I'm not sure who you take, apparently some defensive players (according to mcshay's first mock draft), but that's not really San Diego's problem (see the 3 points scored stat).  Anyway, dolphins have more talent and the better team...win the game 24-20.

Bengals -4.5 vs 49ers
AJ McCarron is good enough to beat the 49ers.  I like that he basically just looks to throw it to AJ Green.  There will be a lot of young player mistakes like the 2 INTs he threw last week.  But he was in a tough spot.  I mean, he compared himself to Tom Brady in the post game presser last week, so yeah.  I mean he's got confidence, which is not a great thing in a young QB, he thinks he's better than he is.  Fun stat, an Alabama QB hasn't won a start in like 25 years or something.  HA.  fuck alabama.  But that streak ends this week, because the 49ers are that bad, and the bengals have too much talent everywhere else.  Bengals win this game 31-17.

Broncos +7.5 vs Steelers
This is a pretty high number for the steelers.  That defense that denver has is the real deal.  Will they completely shut down Big Ben?  Probably not, but they haven't given up a 300 yard passing day yet this year.  So there's that.  Believe it or not, the steelers defense isn't as good as the Raiders.  It's true.  True story.  If the broncos can run the ball and protect Osweiler (he can't throw it 51 times a game) they'll at least keep it close.  I'm going with the steelers to win here, but they won't cover.  Steelers 20-17. (and I really need Ben and Antonio Brown to have shitty games for fantasy playoff reasons)

Cardinals -3.5 vs Eagles
Eagles seem to think they've got something going.  rough deal for them.  Cardinals are just the better team, and they're hot (maybe with 2 t's?).  I think the cardinals could win the superbowl this year, that's how good they are.  Eagles suck.  Cards win this game 34-10

Lions +3 vs Saints
Lions 35-31 because nobody cares

64 comments:

Meiz said...

Work has been a goddamn beast this week. 5 day weekend starts tonight.

Blue said...

this is what I was drinking last night

keeps me warm in the cold winter nights

Aitch said...

"Time to get wicked smashed. or not, i've got to drive like 30 miles home afterwards."

Whatta gotta Uber?

Blue said...

who is the bald dude that looks like Tem that is on sportscenter with SVP after monday night football games?

Aitch said...

Dilfer?

Blue said...

uber would be like $60 to get home

Blue said...

not dilfer, the dude who sits at the desk and make jokes with him

Blue said...

he's his andy richter

Aitch said...

No idea, then

tem said...

"Oh by the way, I did win last week and made the final 4 in my big money fantasy league. So I've got that going for me. I'm glad I sat Amari Cooper."


you're welcome

Blue said...

this guy

apparently he's "stanford steve"

tem said...

"Sorry Tem. I don't get the bucs."


rookie QB.

bad coach. sorry, dude gets outcoached.

secondary is a mess, any good QB will tear them up.

tem said...

I think he looks more like a bald jug

tem said...

"this is what I was drinking last night

keeps me warm in the cold winter nights"

cold 50 degree nights?

Keef said...

It was 29° here last night.

Blue said...

it was 41° when i got in the car this morning for work

and the heat hasn't been working in the rental house

Blue said...

i should put in a new furnace. I'll just take it with me when I move

Keef said...

Hilarious

El Padrino said...

Frazier trade. Are the Reds contracting?

Blue said...

bo ryan just wanted to steal Abby Wambach's thunder

Meiz said...

"Frazier trade. Are the Reds contracting?"

Having a tank-off with the Brewers.

Blue said...

good deal

Meiz said...

Next Christmas, niece #1 is getting a Nerf gun to terrorize my sister with.

Keef said...

Frazier trade. Are the Reds contracting?



This all started when they decided to give Homer Bailey $100 million

tem said...

It's not in protest of Rose being denied reinstatement?

Keef said...

Too soon

Blue said...

too late

tem said...

They should just tell Rose he'll get in after he is dead. Problem solved.

Everyone knows it'll happen but he still serves a lifetime ban. His grandkids will see him go into the hall.

Blue said...

right, it's a lifetime ban, not an infinite ban

Meiz said...

GOIN' TO STAR WARS TONIGHT! WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Meiz said...

I need to get started on my Amidala makeup.

El Padrino said...

Fag

Keef said...

Fucking dork

Blue said...

sounds cool

El Padrino said...

Bucs tonight

Blue said...

i read that somewhere

Aitch said...

T-minus 8 minutes until the premiere. Woot!

Keef said...

Man, these kids love them some Home Alone. Watching it for about the 10th time this month

El Padrino said...

Bgep laughs hysterically during home alone

Classic

tem said...

40 minutes for me until SW.

Bucs D is atrocious

ToddPacker said...

"T-minus 8 minutes until the premiere. Woot"

wasn't the premiereTuesday night in LA? I believe you're just attending one of many showings

Jugdish said...

It's the premiere for him. It will b the premiere for me in 2-3 weeks.

Jugdish said...

be

Keef said...

Bgep laughs hysterically during home alone

Classic


Nice. Bgas1 has a crush on 10 year old Macauley Culkin. If she only knew

Blue said...

it's still real to me dammit

Aitch said...

TP playing the role of Keith this morning.

Keef said...

Shouldn't you be playing with your light saber

Blue said...

nothing wrong with playing with your light saber, right EP

El Padrino said...

Right

Blue said...

bucs almost shit the bed on me in fantasy,

but late garbage TD for sefarian-jenkins kept me afloat

and doug martin fumbling and not scoring also helped

Blue said...

since i know you all care

tem said...

I care

ToddPacker said...

"TP playing the role of Keith this morning."

'tis the season

Meiz said...

Star Wars sucked.

El Padrino said...

Probably only guy saying that

Keef said...

Star Wars sucks


*fized

Meiz said...

Can we have a summit soon so me, H & tem can discuss this movie?

Blue said...

if only there was a way to discuss things as a group, like via text over phone

Someone should invent that

tem said...

Suck is too strong.

Summit is needed.

Keef said...

I could probably do a Vegas summit the second half of next year

Blue said...

Vegas

Blue said...

I can do Vegas, 1st half

El Padrino said...

Picks

Aitch said...

I'd be down for Vegas.

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino