Friday, April 25, 2014

Would you rather die from 1000 bee stings or squeezed to death by a python?

Shouldn't I post on like Wed. since Monday is a new post? Or since we are in the middle of the LOV apocolyspe it doesn't matter when I post?

Cameron Diaz is gross. I'd lay it because my standards are lower than the limbo pole at a midget bar but she doesnt wear anti-perspirant and had a big bush and a weird face.

Tem you can buy aapl now. In June will be about $85-90 a share. Buy what you can.

You know this place needs more ass and tits. That will breathe new life.

What is your least favorite house chore? (That you do or that you do most of the time) Mine is cleaning the oven. But I haven't done it yet. I just know that will be it.

What's the deal with those morons who stretch holes in their ear lobes? I aint googling it because its gross but do those grow back or do they have giant holes in their ears for life? That's gonna look great when they are 60. Morons.

I'll tell ya we picked the wrong fucking generation to raise kids in. This is gonna suck. Maybe Meiz is right. Gay but right.

My favorite zoo animal are sea lions. They are cool.

Lamarcus Aldrige is a man.

NFL with the schedule presentation is so dumb, none of you retards watched that right? Debating who has a tough schedule or what matchups are juicy before rosters are even filled out is supremely retarded. NFL better be careful ----people do get turned off by over saturation. It's akin to a company expanding too fast like Krispy Kreme.

These Cialis commercials are not ridiculous because of the setting or how the actors give the come hither looks they are ridiculous because who the fuck is gonna believe that women actually want some dick. I bet they happy as fuck when they niggas shit cant get hard.

Beyoncé is a ho.

Monday, April 21, 2014

Friday, April 18, 2014

RIP Jesus

Remember that blog I used to do for like a week about what I ate, I should start one for what I drink.  Just so I can see the damage on paper. 


If Carmelo is serious about taking less money.....I don't know what to say.  Would be awesome.  He gets dogged but I watched a lot this year unfortunately.  He played his ass off every minute on both ends.  If there was a WAR stat for basketball he would be close to leading the league, he must have been worth at least 15 wins this year.  I'm a fan.  Knicks roster was beat they had an opportunity over the summer to fortify the team and instead they played it safe thinking they would get another very good year from the same cast that won 54 games last year.  Sort of like what the Panthers did this off-season.  I will put cash money right now on under 9 wins for them this season.


Today is Good Friday.  Jesus died today. 


Mad Men is stupid I'm bailing.  I do enjoy the period though.  Neighbors slapping kids around that are not theirs, everyone smoking, drinks, side pieces.  But its actually a boring show.  I sort of can't believe it is so popular.


Rando's
I love going out to eat.
This Spring sucks up here up nurf* it's still chilly
Ocean City again this year, solid family vacation never breaks the bank
Fucking Frozen
Amaretto is relaxing and delicious.


Easter menu:


as usual large antipasto with all the dry meats, cured meats, aged cheeses, olives, salad and pizza rustica


main course is whole roasted filet mignon, grilled jumbo shrimp, green beans dressed with ponzu vinagerette, grilled baby lamb chops and rice balls


DET


Happy Easter guys.

Thursday, April 17, 2014

2014 NBA Playoff Preview

First Round:
Spurs vs. Mavs
Didn't the Mavs win a championship a couple of years ago? Now they barely make it into the 8th spot. Crazy. That's how it goes in the West. I don't understand how the Spurs keep on doing it, but every year they're in it to win it. I don't see them having much of a problem with the Mavs, it might go 5, but more likely will end in a clean sweep.

Rockets vs. Blazers
Ok, this one is interesting. Blazers started out hot but faded, and the Rockets have been resting Dwight Howard for a playoff run. I was at the game when they destroyed the Lakers the other week and I was really impressed. Harden just kills you with that step-back, and I was impressed with Chandler Parsons, he made a lot of drives to the basket when I thought he was just going to shoot it (maybe it was just the Lakers defense). They're also pretty loaded, Lin, Beverley (if he can play), and if Howard can't go, they've got Osik, who was a beast when he was starting. Too bad they can't figure out how to play together. The guy that really impressed me was Terrence Jones. He was flying all over the place and was making a lot of smart plays. He matches up against Aldridge and that's going to be the matchup to watch. I want to see what Lillard does, but in the end, I think Harden will take over and just kill them with that step-back jumper. Rockets in 6.

Clippers vs. Warriors
These teams DO NOT like each other. Expect a lot of shenanigans. Clippers love to give away points with dumb fouls and technicals (Blake Griffin tied with Demarcus Cousins for the league lead and had to sit out a game). The Warriors are very dangerous; that backcourt can get hot and destroy you, but I think it's going to come down to their front court. What are Andrew Bogut and David Lee going to give them? Both have injuries so that will be the big question. I'm looking forward to this series, and I'm rooting for the Clippers. I think they'll win in 6.

Thunder vs. Grizzlies
I love the Grizzlies, they are just fun to root for. They work hard to grind out postseason wins. The good thing for the Thunder is, this year, they will hopefully have Westbrook the entire time, and don't have to worry about when to sit him back-to-back games. So the odds are stacked against the Grizz, but the Thunder aren't perfect and have stumbled in the last couple of postseasons. I would love an upset, but unless Westbrook gets injured and can't play, it's the Thunder in a grueling 6 games (I seem to have most these going 6 games).

Pacers vs. Knicks Hawks
I don't care how badly the Pacers played to end the season, the East is so bad at the bottom, this will be a cake walk. The Hawks will do their best to win one game but will fail.

Bulls vs. Wizards
I'm actually looking forward to this one. The scrappy Bulls against the up-and-coming Wiz. I haven't watched a lot of Wizards games, so I really want to see how they do. I know the Bulls are battle-tested but there's something about the Wiz that I like. The Bulls struggle on offense and don't have a guy to close out games, so I think they lose a couple of close games in this series. The Wiz in 5.

Raptors vs. Nets
Look, I'm gonna be honest with you, sometimes I forget that the Raptors are a real NBA team. I haven't watched even one of their games this year. I know about Kyle Lowry and DeMar DeRozan, but outside of that, I have no idea how they got a 3 seed. Seriously, the East blows. This is a division matchup and they split their season series, but the Nets finished just 4 games behind the Raptors, so this is a lot closer than the 3-6 matchup that it is. The Nets are built for the postseason it will be shock and awe when Kevin Garnett ratchets up the cussing and trash talk to playoff levels. If I was Dwane Casey, I would have my assistants just scream and curse at guys during practice to get them used to it. It won't be enough and the Nets win in 5.

Heat vs. Bobcats
The Bobcats FINALLY get into the playoffs (for the 2nd time)! YAY! But they have to play the Heat. NO! They should have just tanked for another lottery pick because they're going to be stuck in this position for awhile. If this series goes 5 games, I will be shocked.

2nd Round:
Rockets over Spurs (because I don't want a repeat of last year's Finals)

Clippers over Thunder

Pacers over Wizards

Heat over Nets

Conference Finals:
Rockets over Clippers

Heat over Pacers

Finals
Heat over Rockets

Monday, April 14, 2014

Right Meow...

I watched Super Troopers for the millionth time yesterday. The "meow" scene still makes me laugh.

NHL regular season came to a close yesterday. Playoff hockey is the best, in my opinion. The intensity is second to none.

Bubba won The Masters™. I don't know much about golf, so maybe you guys will know. Local sports guys are saying Augusta lends itself well to Bubba's game, so he could win a couple more, but he'll never win any other major. Any accuracy to this assessment? If so, why?

Implementation of MLB replay has been smooth, huh? I don't understand why every sport doesn't adopt the NHL's approach of having all replays go through the league office. It would keep them consistent abd remove the emotion or crowd influence. Bottom line, we want to get the call right.

I'm tired. Go comment, you bastards.

Friday, April 11, 2014

Jumanji

So Kate Upton is in a movie.  That's nice.


The worse place in the world is probably North Korea.


Jon Stewart ripped the NCAA a new asshole.


Baseball is great but god damn GET IN THE BOX already.  Fuck with the stepping out after every pitch.


Hard Cider?  The fuck.


My kids laugh at these Bears promos.  Fucking Disney.  Has my family by the balls.


I want to learn how to twirl nunchucks.


You notice the shooting of Sonny Corleone in Godfather that Denzel gets shot up the same way in Training day.  Sans toll booths in Breezy Point of course.


I'd take Jennifer Garner for a walk.

Monday, April 07, 2014

It's Monday... and you're still ugly

Condolences, Keith.

Full fledged panic mode over the Red Sox on the radio this morning. Freaking hilarity. It's been 6 games.

Client is coming out... I'll add more later.

Ok, that was fun. Took me over an hour to go 15 miles. Love Monday traffic!

My newsfeed blew up last night with people reacting to The Undertaker's steak at Wrestlemania ending. These people do know that wrestling is fake, right? We're not talking about 18-1 or a 56 game hitting streak here. It's not really significant when the outcome is controlled.

UConn vs. Kentucky... Who ya got? Kentucky was the preseason number 1, right? How did they end up as an 8 seed? I don't follow college bball much, obviously.

Nice job on the name change, Meiz.

Friday, April 04, 2014

LOVEYOURBUTT.ORG

the draft is so deep this year.  lmc
serious ton of talent out there
watkins, evans, hyde, tre mason, the qb's, ebron, clowne, tons of o lineman to name a few




so many qb's,







EL Padrino, in the villa in Venice sipping vino




I love rap from my days, like it now but nothing like that era I think it's the best in hip hop history, from 95 to 04 maybe? 




San Antonio is so good.  So fucking good.  Popovich man.




fuck marry kill - Tylenol, advil, aleve -- go




TV has never been better now if you say today there is nothing on you crazy.  At the very least you can turn to the history channel and watch that programming




chanel west coast? si or no?




whats the deal with nick cannon now
fuck that guy




F M K with proactiv spokespeople


Julianne Hough, Katy Perry, KAley Cucocoocococo
Fuck Katy, marry Julianne, Kill Kaley




Whitlock nailed the Desean Jackson issue, fucking Richard Sherman is a cunt




Letterman retiring.  He was the best.  Love his give zero fucks attitude.




CNN is tripping over its own dick with the missing plane coverage, they are literally the worst news outlet going.




Brussell Sprouts are in







Las Vegas middle schools are dealing with a problem known as “slap-ass Friday.”


I miss you guys


I'm sort of drunk had some wine not having a godfather (equal parts amaretto & whiskey)


TURN DOWN FOR WHAT (the video is hilarious)


Piece.









Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino