Friday, October 10, 2014

El Pad's Weekly Betting Disasters

32-40

So hockey now huh. Alrighty.

Phil Ivey is a greedy motherfucker huh?

Seems like 49er fans fight people alot. Fucking patos locos forever holmes.

You know what's dumb to me. This chick at work is doing like a charity drive for animals. Charities for animals are dumb. Because they are animals not people. The only charity associated with animals I like is Pets for vets ( i think that's the name) where fostered pets go to the homes of veterans returning from war zones. Anything for vets I'm in. And petting a happy dog probably stops them from killing themselves from PTSD trauma.

Adrian Petersons charity sounds cool.

Key and Peele are on fire.

PIKS

Jax +6 over TITANS
GET YOU ONE JVILLE. GET YOU ONE! They win outright.

TAMPA +3 over Ravens
There are still a few teams that I have no read on yet. And may never so I'll just side witht he home dog points. The Bucs do look a whole lot better with Glennon under center though. Which everyone knew besides Lovie. Sad it took an injury for the switch to happen. I think Rainey needs more touches. Especially with their WR corp banged up. And try that Austin-Sefarin Jenkins fellow at TE. He should see 10 looks a game. Fantasy reasons aside I'm serious. He fits the Jimmy Graham/Tony Gonzalez school of TE's (that is TE's that played college ball).

JETS +11 over Broncos
I keep taking the Jets and they keep shitting themselves. Either this ship is sinking faster than even I can imagine or that defense wakes up and starts playing competitive football again. It's ashamed during Rex's tenure he's never given one fuck about his offense. Not a good head coach. You can't be on the defensive headset all game buddy. You're the head coach not the defensive coordinator. Tough year for the Ryan boys.

Detroit -1.5 over VIKES
BILLS +3 over Pats
Carolina +7 over BENGALS

Jeopardy answer for you guys. Ready?

The Lions, Bills and Panthers.
Question : What other teams does El Pad have no fucking clue on yet and may not for the remainder of the year?

Daily Double.

But seriously. Who are the Lions? All this talent, middle of the pack team offensively. It feels like Schwartz is still coaching this team. The Bills. No identity offensively, can go from a leaky defense to a stout defense on a play to play basis. And the Panthers? Jekyll and Hyde defense which is a far cry from the unit Rivera oversaw last year. And no running game to speak of. None. 85% same roster. Don't get it.

BROWNS -2 over Steelers
The Browns is that kid you used to play ball against back on the playground or schoolyard where you'd beat him reguarly every summer but then he sprouted up over the school year - got real wiry and his adam apple dropped and he got that ridiculous pubey mustache with pimples everywhere and now it's a fucking job to beat him. And sometimes he beats you, for the first time. I think I'm trying to say the Browns just may be on the cusp of turning the corner.

Green Bay -3 over FINS
How many hamburgers do you think Mike McCarthy can eat? Probably like 4 or 5 right? He probably crushes white castle suitcases on film nights.

San Diego -7 over RAIDERS
Sparano buried a ball. Cute. He should have buried the GM. And Richard Seymour's contract. And Mark Davis's face.

FALCONS -3 over Bears
True road/home split team. Just like New Orleans. Also the Devin Hester story to this game is a factor. Same way the Ravens/Panthers - Steve Smith Sr. thing. But less violent and less anger.

SEATTLE -? over Cowboys
First of all this line is all over the place. I'm seeing 7.5 - 10. So whatever it goes off as I'll take. Cowboys are playing real well but Seattle is a dominant team at home. Feels like the game where Murray gets hurt. Then Romo falls apart.

ARIZONA -3.5 over Skins
Line would be higher if the Cardinals had a QB penciled in. Losing feeling in a shoulder sounds like a shitty injury for a QB. Don't think it matters the Washington franchise is a mess right now.

PHILLY -2.5 over Giants
Gmen will find a way to let Philly off the hook again. The Eagles have to be the worst 4-1 team. They have like 8 non-offensive TD's. Some teams don't get that in a season. Maybe they are doing a good job of forcing all those mistakes or maybe they are lucky. Either way fuck them I hate Philly and all the awful people that live there.

ST LOO +3 over Niners
Start Wainwright at QB. The fuck is this game. I hate when Execs get cute and try and predict juicy matchups. Not sure how the selection process happens, as far as who picks first. But let's say after CBS picks their prime game and Fox picks theres ESPN goes before NBC. Rams/Niners is the pick? If in fact NBC wnet after ESPN they must have laughed so hard before picking Philly/NY.













178 comments:

Aitch said...

I think Kod was referring to this comment:

"These idiots keep suing because they keep winning. This should have been laughed out of court."

...which was in response to a post about the Red Bull lawsuit. The original poster brought up McDonald's, not me, but thanks for calling me an idiot, Kod.

Jugdish said...

...which was in response to a post about the Red Bull lawsuit. The original poster brought up McDonald's, not me, but thanks for calling me an idiot, Kod.


he didn't

/mize

Keef said...

I heard that he called you a jive turkey

Blue said...

kod lives?

tem said...

so I should have played TY Hilton I guess

Jugdish said...

or jj watt

tem said...

"IND / HOU should be a good game.

Nailed it"


turned out good

Keef said...

TP, milok is gonna be in Tampa next week. I know how you like the younger ladies.

Jugdish said...

keef sanchez time

The Meiz said...

"patos locos forever holmes."

Classic

The Meiz said...

"he didn't"

You said Kod called H a dumbshit or a dipshit. He didn't.

Blue said...

we've all been called idiots by kod before, it's like a badge of honor

Blue said...

iphone6 reminds me 100% of the old samsung galaxy i had 4 years ago

basically exact same phone

The Meiz said...

"iphone6 reminds me 100% of the old samsung galaxy i had 4 years ago

basically exact same phone"


Galaxy owners all said this when the 6 dropped.

Keef said...

"patos locos forever holmes."

Classic



Just noticed. I lolololololol'd

El Padrino said...

I'm the greatest.

El Padrino said...

Yea fuck apple

The Meiz said...

"Just noticed. I lolololololol'd"


V is nowhere close to P on the keyboard

The Meiz said...

Methane smells great in the apartment.


SSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS

The Meiz said...

Incense is on 100.

Keef said...

Can't stand incense smell

Blue said...

incense = pot

that's what i learnt in collitch

The Meiz said...

"Can't stand incense smell"

There are many scents.

Either way, it was the best way for me to block the sewage stench.

The Meiz said...

You probably don't like Nag Champa. I used to hate Nag Champa, but I'm okay with it now. I have a vanilla I really like.

tem said...

Vanilla pot?

The Meiz said...

"How many hamburgers do you think Mike McCarthy can eat? Probably like 4 or 5 right? He probably crushes white castle suitcases on film nights."


We don't have White Castle. I think there's one in Racine or Kenosha. I barely consider those cities in Wisconsin. Those are Bears cities.

The Meiz said...

Tone, do people really stand out in the damn street to hail a cab?

Keef said...

Hate working on Saturday

Keef said...

28/30

tem said...

22

Keef said...

Cmk wants me to watch this American horror story show wi her. I might shit my pants

The Meiz said...

Holy crap, you got 28?

I went 24/30 and felt that was really damn good after seeing the ones I missed.

The Meiz said...

Just by looking at the answers, I know which 2 you didn't get.

Keef said...

Managers with 7 WS wins and pitchers with no hitter in 2nd start

ToddPacker said...

"Tone, do people really stand out in the damn street to hail a cab?"

yes, although the sidewalk is usually safer

Keef said...

Usually

Keef said...

Luckily the dude I was facing in my $ league has Peyton on his team. That kept Flacco on his bench

Jugdish said...

A shady garbage time td would be nice. Garbage time in this game has been the entire second half.

Jugdish said...

Or cruz...assuming he still plays for the giants.

Jugdish said...

Damn he is injured. ..just turning game on.

Jugdish said...

Walking Dead was good tonight

Jugdish said...

2-1 in fantasy this week

tem said...

I lost because of Lamar Miller's fumble on the last play of the game where they were throwing the ball around and he lateralled to a O-Lineman that dropped the ball. I guess Miller gets the fumble there. -2. I lose by 1.

woe.

El Padrino said...

Tone, do people really stand out in the damn street to hail a cab?

Indeed they do. Not how you think though. Like not in the middle.

The Meiz said...

I need an update on Victor

Keef said...

Torn patellar tendon would be season ending, no?

Keef said...

Fuck mike nugent

Keef said...

I need Gore to have < 38 pts tonight

tem said...

I need Brian Quick to have > 30

The Meiz said...

Now my ribs hurt. Really badly.

Keef said...

I played against cmk in my one free league this week. I had the 2nd most points this week, but cmk had the most. Woe

The Meiz said...

I dropped a hot 213 this week.

tem said...

good job

Keef said...

Is that poop talk?

The Meiz said...

Lots of pain today. Don't know why.

tem said...

probably because you injured your shoulder

The Meiz said...

Why do my ribs hurt?

Keef said...

Because you're a pussy?

S

El Padrino said...

Stop trying to suck your own dick

tem said...

you hold in your sneezes. that's why your ribs hurt.

The Meiz said...

I don't hold in sneezes.

tem said...

then why do your ribs hurt?

Keef said...

All that pizza he ate last week

The Meiz said...

"then why do your ribs hurt?"

One of my co-workers who is also an RN thinks I've strained my intercostal

Keef said...

Too much rocking the entire fuck out

Keef said...

Nice coverage, Rams

The Meiz said...

"Too much rocking the entire fuck out"

Totally

tem said...

brian quick did not get 30+

The Meiz said...

Couple of nice yob openings here at Eastern WI. I think I'll apply. Probably won't get them though.

The Meiz said...

I got a suite trade offer this morning. I think I have to take it.

I give up Steve Smith & Cutler for Reggie Wayne & Alfie Mo. I think I need to make that swap.

Keef said...

Why would you want Wayne if you already have Luck and TY?

The Meiz said...

Victor Cruz died. Why wouldn't I want Wayne?

tem said...

seems like a good trade for you

Keef said...

Smiff is averaging almost as much as Wayne and Morris combined. I get not needing Cutler because you have Luck. Just curious why you would rather have Wayne than Smiff. You say it's because of Cruz's injury, but you're not adding an additional WR, you're just replacing Smiff. Are you desperate for RB?

The Meiz said...

"Are you desperate for RB?"

YES

The Meiz said...

My RB options:

Forte
Taliaferro
Antone Smith

Dassit.

tem said...

forte is good

Keef said...

Gotcha. Would be a great trade for you if Morris stopped being shitty

tem said...

morris is the poor man's doug martin.


so he is like poor shit.

The Meiz said...

Countered the offer and he accepted.

Smith & Cutty

for

Morris, Wayne, & Matty Ice

The Meiz said...

I have faith in Alfred.

tem said...

your faith is misguided

tem said...

it's probably why your ribs hurt

Keef said...

I offered Rivers and Andre Johnson for Bernard and Cutler and dude declined. Then I offered Rivers and VJax and he declined. Trying to decide if I should throw in Hilton or Dez

Blue said...

he's not trading gio metro

Blue said...

fucking snapchat

Keef said...

he's not trading gio metro


he's a chargers fan.

tem said...

ha, UFC guy got 1 NFL game and apparently sucked so bad he won't get any more.

The Meiz said...

Say what?

Keef said...

Mike Goldberg, the announcer with Joe rogan

tem said...

what kevin said

The Meiz said...

Oh. I don't know who that is.

Keef said...

He's the ufc announcer who's not joe rogan

Keef said...

2 park rangers stabbed on Boston Common


Thought that show got canceled a long time ago

Keef said...

Tem is a violet

tem said...

yeah according to some girl I went to hike school with

tem said...

i also got tagged then untagged in a photo by exfemtem

Keef said...

Why are gas prices dropping so much right now? We're down to $2.95

Jugdish said...

I only fill the aveo with premium

/mize

tem said...

I think I'd be super pissed if I was one of the hospital employees that got Ebola.

tem said...

"Why are gas prices dropping so much right now? "

supply and demand

tem said...

actually the real answer is it is election time.

tem said...

gas prices always drop before elections.

Keef said...

Ah, makes sense

Blue said...

prices are down because of ISIS

Blue said...

they are bringing stability to the region

tem said...

they aren't saying ISIS anymore on Archer

Blue said...

i'm not saying redskins anymore

Blue said...

damnit

The Meiz said...

"Why are gas prices dropping so much right now? We're down to $2.95"

Dick.

The Meiz said...

Premium gasoline is a sham. Any car built since about 1996 has a timing mechanism that adjusts for different octane levels automatically.

The Meiz said...

Worst case, you have a car that says it "requires" premium fuel. The only thing that would happen if you put regular in is that you'd lose some power/HP.

Keef said...

Dick.


Uncalled for

Blue said...

you lose gas mileage with lower octane fuel typically

The Meiz said...

What do you buy for a 1 year old's birthday?

tem said...

big bosses around here disappear pretty much every day from 11am until 2pm.

do they go nap somewhere? I wonder if they rent an apartment near by and goof off during the day.

tem said...

"What do you buy for a 1 year old's birthday?"

fisher price versions of drums, keyboard, guitar. basically things that make lots of noises.

push toys, giant sized puzzles, clothes

The Meiz said...

GODDAMMIT, I fucking hate auto-play audio & videos on websites.

The Meiz said...

Walmart gift card. Got it.

tem said...

"GODDAMMIT, I fucking hate auto-play audio & videos on websites."

this all fucking day

Keef said...

What do you buy for a 1 year old's birthday?


Depends on how much you like your sister. If it's not much, what Tem said re: loud toys. If you do, then get a gift card

The Meiz said...

Big ass T-bone for lunch

The Meiz said...

I devoured that steak

Keef said...

PB&J for lunch

tem said...

turkey club.

in ohio apparently club means with bacon.


Keef said...

25/30

The Meiz said...

"in ohio apparently club means with bacon."

That's everywhere.

The Meiz said...

TP, I have a buddy with an available PJ ticket for Monday in MKE

Jugdish said...

TP, I have a buddy with an available PJ ticket for Monday in MKE



do you have a couch available?

/Tp

ToddPacker said...

"TP, I have a buddy with an available PJ ticket for Monday in MKE"

heading up to moline for the show tomorrow and then to st Paul for the show Sunday. we're flying back the day of the Milwaukee show, so I can't make it

ToddPacker said...

I sent Kod a text to try a meet up with him in St Paul but he's busy with work

El Padrino said...

Go Royals.

tem said...

22

Blue said...

kod is always busy

tem said...

kod is a workoholic

Keef said...

heading up to moline for the show tomorrow and then to st Paul for the show Sunday.




Of course you are. Why wouldn't you be?

The Meiz said...

"do you have a couch available?"

I do not have a couch.

The Meiz said...

Old man Packer's love for Pearl Jam is disturbing.

tem said...

no couch?

The Meiz said...

No couch.

tem said...

recliner though right?

El Padrino said...

TP has Blue money

Jugdish said...

recliner though right?



giant beanbag chair

Keef said...

Papasan chair

The Meiz said...

"recliner though right?"

two recliners. I could make room for a couch or a loveseat, but meiziness and the configuration of my TV hookups make me not want to.

The Meiz said...

Plus, I don't want to move a couch.

Keef said...

The son of a rural Oklahoma newspaper publisher fatally shot his father, mother and sister, believing that by killing his family, he would inherit money to pay off mounting debts


Smat*

Blue said...

plus couches just invite additional people

Keef said...

I figured Mize as a pedestal chair with the seat missing type of guy

Jugdish said...

he has one directors type chair in the middle of the living room that says "Mize" on the back.

Jugdish said...

ill kick that chairs ass!

/aitch

ToddPacker said...

"Old man Packer's love for Pearl Jam is disturbing."

they're only touring in the US for 1 month in 2014, so I'm catching 2 shows in one trip. What is disturbing is that I'm missing a home Florida game. Corky has me choosing PJ over the Gators. He needs to be fired.

Keef said...

Don't lie. You'd choose pj over your family

Keef said...

Any chance of Mullen going back to FU?

ToddPacker said...

"TP has Blue money"

I don't think so.... not as long as sotp keeps smashing up cars

ToddPacker said...

"Any chance of Mullen going back to FU?"

I'm sure they will go after Mullen, not sure he will leave MSU though

Keef said...

Another crash?

Blue said...

why would mullen leave MSU?

ToddPacker said...

"why would mullen leave MSU?"

that's my point. I don't think he will leave

ToddPacker said...

no more crashes. I few close calls

The Meiz said...

So, customer service is basically going to be just me tomorrow. That's going to suck hard.

Keef said...

I am off tomorrow. I'm going to my dad's at 3am so we can get out to the lake before sunrise

The Meiz said...

Fuck that

Keef said...

Dude I'm playing this week has nick folk, 14 pts at halftime. Fuck that

The Meiz said...

I've been waiting to see somebody, anybody make a fuck Nick Folk comment/tweet/status. You're the winner.

Keef said...

Fuck the pats D. I wasted a waiver pickup on that turd

El Padrino said...

I might post tomorrow. Just got home from work so nothing for now.

tem said...

" believing that by killing his family, he would inherit money to pay off mounting debts"

who gets the money then?

Blue said...

friday asshole

tem said...

he said he had a late night and will post tomorrow.

Blue said...

that's slacker talk

tem said...

yep, fits in here

The Meiz said...

If I knew there wasn't going to be a post I would have done one last night.

The Meiz said...

I go to lunch, and this operation comes to a screeching halt. Predictable.

El Padrino said...

lick my balls

tem said...

no

Blue said...

pass

El Padrino said...

New shit

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino