Friday, September 19, 2014

Better Than El Pad's Weekly Betting Advice


I gotta ask. You guys ever knock one out in the woman's room at work?  I'd do it every day if it wasn't for all these laws about lewd acts.  It's retarded that a guy can't just rub one out whenever or wherever he wants.
/LP

I've been eating bratwurst almost every day since some time in July.  I don't mind though.  Twenty pounds of brats for $20 is a tremendous savings on food.  I'm not having much variety, but fuck it, cheap food.  You all know by now how I feel about paying for food.

Fucking Broors.  I can't believe they were 19 games over .500 this season.  As of typing this, they sit at 6 over.  Weird thing is I feel better about the Brewers taking over the division lead than I do about them making the play-in game.  It's dumb, but that's how I feel.  Also, I really like Matt Clark.  I know, SSS, but he was raking it in AAA.  Speaking of AAA, the Brewers got fucked over by Nashville, and now the AAA club is stuck in fucking Colorado Springs for at least two years.  Yeah, that's not going to ruin our pitching prospects.

HOLY SHIT, those Buccaneers uniforms are horrific.  Tem, WFT?

Speaking of the Bucs, Tem, can you give us the story of how or why you're a Buccaneers fan in the comments?

I think that's enough, on to my picks.  I'm using the current MGM Mirage lines.

San Diego +2.5 over BUFFALO
How on earth are the Bills favored in this game?

Dallas +1 over ST LOUIS
I understand that the Cowboys defense stinks, but the Rams -1 without Tavon Austin?  Not buying it.

Skins +6.5 over Philly
Taking a flyer on this one.  Washington can control the pace if they run the offense through Alfie Mo.

GIANTS +2.5 over Houston
LP says the Giants stink. I'm rooting for some kind of a shootout here.  Get Victor the Rock.  Fantasy reasons.

SAINTS -10 over Minnesota
I just think the Saints are gonna peterroll the Vikes.

Titans +7 over BENGALS
Just a feeling.  Jake Locker doesn't actually suck, and AJ Green might not play.

Baltimore -1 over BROWNS
Flacco, Smith, Smith, Pitta, Daniels.  That should be enough.

Sheesh


Ted Norris rules

LIONS! -2.5 over Green Bay
Fuck the Packers.  47-17

Indy -7 over JACKSONVILLE
Andy Luck is awesome, the Jags are dreadful

NEW ENGLAND -14 over Oakland
Awful West Coast team traveling all the way east.  They're cooked.

San Fran -3 over ARIZONA
Because San Fran vs Arizona

SEATTLE -5 over Denver
Crowd's gonna be hyped, and the Hawks are gonna be amped to show the Super Bowl was no fluke.

Kansas City +4 over THE FISH*
How the fuck are the Dolphins favored by over a field goal in this game?

CAROLINA -3 over Pittsburgh
Cam & 'em might could mollywop the Stillers.  Panthers are damn good.

Bears +3 over JETS
The Jets stink.  Let's be real here.  And I'm starting Cutty over Peyton in the Brew Crew Ball league.

Well, there it is, LP.  Your turn.
  







72 comments:

ToddPacker said...

nice job, meiz

Blue said...

AAA is not where prospects come from

if they don't come straight from AA anymore, then they are shitty prospects

Blue said...

good work on the post

Aitch said...

Nice work, Andrew.

Aitch said...

EP is gonna get all huffy

El Padrino said...

Fantastic post.

tem said...

"Speaking of the Bucs, Tem, can you give us the story of how or why you're a Buccaneers fan in the comments?"


because according to people I am an original hipster. I choose the unpopular thing and do it and/or won't do the popular thing just because it is popular.

so even way back in the day when nobody liked the bucs and they sucked they were my team. same reason I liked the Nets back in the day. I wouldn't cheer for the Steelers or Browns because that's who everyone else liked. I picked the random team nobody liked.

The Meiz said...

"AAA is not where prospects come from"

Brewers use AAA extensively for guys that they're looking to bring up.

Just this year, Jimmy Nelson, Mike Fiers, Matt Clark

2013 - Khris Davis, Scootie Puff, Wily Peralta

They're going to have to change the way they do things, IMO. Fuck Nashville.

tem said...

"HOLY SHIT, those Buccaneers uniforms are horrific. Tem, WFT?"

I like the new jerseys. They would look better if the players in them weren't comically inept.

also the dark ones look better than the light ones.

tem said...

also, think glennon needs to be the starter. he wasn't bad as a rookie. he wasn't bad in mop up duty.

McCown has guided his teams to losses against a second team QB and a third team QB so far and got fucking destroyed by Matt Ryan.

The Meiz said...

"also, think glennon needs to be the starter."


This. There's no reason Glennon shouldn't be starting in Tampa.

Blue said...

yeah, lovie needs to make the switch

Blue said...

i would have switched after the comical play of Mccown in week 1

Keef said...

How on earth are the Bills favored in this game?


Something about teams get beat up playing against Seattle and play like shit the next week, IIRC.
Also, west coast team traveling cross country and playing the early game.

The Meiz said...

"Also, west coast team traveling cross country and playing the early game."

I realized that after I made the remark about Oakland,and just didn't feel like making the edit.

HOT TAKES ABOUND

The Meiz said...

Talk radio on the way in to work today, the Packers journos and beat writers are all over the Lions beating the Packers on Sunday. I don't think I like that.

Blue said...

west coast teams going east is a good stat

Blue said...

KC has the weirdest schedule

pretty much the only team in their timezone that plays the early games at home. so the game starts at noon local time, which is too early for football

Keef said...

iphone updated this morning to new ios, now it has the autocomplete shit for typing. Hooray

Keef said...

west coast teams going east is a good stat



I was SAS about the Cardinals winning in NJ last week. The Giants really are awful, because AZ always plays like shit on the early games back east

The Meiz said...

"iphone updated this morning to new ios, now it has the autocomplete shit for typing. Hooray"

There's allegedly a bombsauce SwiftKey for iOS8.

Blue said...

yeah, and they're going to allow swype and other apps to be loaded now too

The Meiz said...

iOS8: Make your iPhone a Droid!

Keef said...

There's allegedly a bombsauce SwiftKey for iOS8.



Walter Payton

The Meiz said...

Apparently A&W is canned in Wava

The Meiz said...



Bam

The Meiz said...

Several times a day I just want to shout "SHUT UP, CHERYL!"

El Padrino said...

What time should I post? Its done.

The Meiz said...

Oh jesus, supervisor is relying on the wrong person to teach her how to run will call.

The Meiz said...

I think some sort of velveeta dip is making an appearance this sunday.

The Meiz said...

or maybe some artichoke or spinach dip.

The Meiz said...

"What time should I post? Its done."

2pm EST. I get back from lunch then.

El Padrino said...

Done.

ToddPacker said...

ep should save his post for Monday

The Meiz said...

Man, I am flat out coasting the last two days. This is great.

The Meiz said...

I feel like my coworker saying her husband "worked like a Hebrew" to customers is pretty inappropriate.

Keef said...

swiftkey is the best

Keef said...

I think some sort of velveeta dip is making an appearance this sunday.



Velveeta w/ rotel is still the best chip dip

Keef said...

and don't say Velveeta w/ Hormel

The Meiz said...

VELVEETA WITH HORMEL

tem said...

"Apparently A&W is canned in Wava"

lots of stuff canned there.

also freeze pops or some popsicle is made there.

tem said...

why not do Hormel and Rotel and Velveeta?

tem said...

ufc fights...nelson beats hunt. hunt will be gassed within 4 minutes of fighting.

tem said...

rest of the card is mostly people I haven't heard of or who suck.

Blue said...

"why not do Hormel and Rotel and Velveeta?"

that's what I do

Blue said...

maybe i should try Hormel and rotel

Keef said...

tem
UFC on Fox gonna be here in December. Just announced Overeem v Struve. I'd like to go, but I'm sure that shit is pretty spendy

Keef said...

mize, can I tell you how much easier my life is right now with this swiftkey?

tem said...

Struve has a decent chance of not fighting. his health is fucked up.

tem said...

I wouldn't pay good money to see him fight. too risky that he doesn't fight.

reem is a douche too it seems like.

tem said...

would think even shitty seats would be $70.

Keef said...

Struve has a decent chance of not fighting. his health is fucked up.



Also true

Keef said...

would think even shitty seats would be $70.


That's what I'm thinking. And at those seats, you'd basically be watching it on the big screen anyway. I can do that at home

Keef said...

Kansas State switched up its offensive signals Thursday night because coach Bill Snyder believed Auburn was stealing signs.



WGAF. YOU PLAY TO WIN THE GAME

tem said...

they should be stealing signs shouldn't they? or at least try.

tem said...

" you'd basically be watching it on the big screen anyway. "

yeah I hate paying to go see a concert or fights or a game then watch it on the big screen.

had seats to Jason Aldean this past sunday and I thought they were good but I had some fucking section labels blocking my view and they weren't as close as I thought they'd be so I watched on the screen pretty much the whole time.

at least it wasn't ufc where I could have watched the pay per view at a bar for 1/4 the cost.

Keef said...

I go to concerts to listen to the music. I don't really watch the stage, I scan around for hot chicks

tem said...

you might get a dos santos and miocic fight too for that FOX card.

Keef said...

I figured they'd get Bendo because he's a local guy. And CB Dollaway. And Ryan Bader.
Was hoping to get Cain because he went to ASU, but apparently he only reps Mehico*

tem said...

"CB Dollaway"

he's scheduled to get his ass kicked by Machida in Brazil in December I think.

tem said...

"Cain"

he's injured. I don't even need to look it up. he's almost always injured.

The Meiz said...

"mize, can I tell you how much easier my life is right now with this swiftkey?"

Please do

tem said...

"Ryan Bader"

no clue about him, maybe he'll get a fight. maybe he can fight Glover Teixeira and avenge his ass whooping

El Padrino said...

Its up. Can keep thread going here though.

Keef said...

Cain is fighting Werdum in Mexico on 11/15

El Padrino said...

You shouldn't eat brats everyday ya know

tem said...

yes you should

tem said...

I'm going to the otter* post

The Meiz said...

"You shouldn't eat brats everyday ya know"

It's meat. Who cares?

I get meat, veggies, and grain out of it.

Jugdish said...

reported in gooddell presser mentioned slippery slope

Jugdish said...

reporter

Jugdish said...

goodell is doing himself no favors with this press conference.

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino