Friday, August 22, 2014

Gems

I got to start working on my NFL preview. Right now all I truly know is the Cowboys will suck again. Show signs of not sucking then suck on National TV in heartbreaking Cowboy fashion and it will be awesome. And people will be fired. Also I'm on that "49ers will not make playoffs" bandwagon so jump off if you think i'm a mush. Few reasons, NFC West is now stacked, the backup to Kapernick is shit and they will need it and some injuries on defense. Also the GM hates Harbaugh's guts cuz he's a fucking maniac.

This insane amount of money pouring into the ALS foundation, few questions. How expensive is research? And that is just a general question. Because probably about a trillion dollars have been donated to all kinds of diseases, AIDS, cancer, heart disease, etc. Are diseases the one thing in this world that we can't throw money at to go away? Conspiracy theorists say they will never find a cure to keep the drug companies and network of specialists profitable. That is one conspiracy I could buy into, I don't but it's not out of this world. When greed is involved anything is possible.

Sometimes the inside part of a pretzel smells like fish skin.

Check the Emmys nominations, proves out my tv watching habits. Network TV just ain't good, cable dominates the landscape. Better writing.

Goldschlager must be pissed that Fireball is taking over the markets.

I think a Top Chef threesome of me Padma and Gail Simmons would be cool. Like first a fancy dinner, some champagne. Then a fancy hotel with a comfy bed, maybe some toys.

Putin better leave McDonald's alone.

Speaking of, Meiz you meant McDonald's regular ass hamburger right? Because their premium menu burgers are good, some very good. Further I noticed McDonald's has decided to play one of thier aces in the hole I always talked about. Grocery store coffee. CHA CHING.

I'm surprised there aren't more corporation espionage movies out there or more popular. Maybe there isn't enough action? Michael Clayton was the last good one I thought. Even though that was like a law firm type deal. They use coporate espionage as it's own twist within a movie they need to make some movies cenetered around it. Happens all day everyday. All espionage is cool. National security, corporate interests, political (what makes House of Cards so good). The word of the day is Espionage.

Stop trying to get me to give a fuck about the FIBA basketball tournament. Lick my balls. Wake me up when we hit the beaches of Rio.

When Hulk Hogan dies I'm going to his funeral.

Think this : teenage boys spank banks are so much better than ours were

Rob Dyrdek is 40. Carry on.

Gravity is ridick* on a nice big tv.

F-M-L- Nicky Minaj, Iggy Azela, Ariana Grande
Go.





227 comments:

1 – 200 of 227   Newer›   Newest»
El Padrino said...

Forgot to mention the Simpsons marathon awesomeness

El Padrino said...

Fuck Nicky (my anaconda don't want none unless you got buna hun)

Marry Grande because despite her being annoying all wives are annoying and she's q bazillionaire already at age 20

Kill Iggy. Cuz she ain't human. She looks like an alien.

Keef said...

Gail Simmons is awful. Awful. Awful.

ToddPacker said...

"Gail Simmons is awful. Awful. Awful."

^^^^^^^^

Keef said...

She's fucking awful

/tp

El Padrino said...

Like her face? They can't all be tens keef.

Keef said...

dats

Keef said...

Like her face? They can't all be tens keef.


Nothing about her is attractive. She a pompous fuck, and ugly as sin.

tem said...

Dream threesomes can be all 10s

Keef said...

What Tem said

Keef said...

Hole & a heartbeat

/LP

Keef said...

12/21

The Meiz said...

My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy on blast right now.

The Meiz said...

"Goldschlager must be pissed that Fireball is taking over the markets."


Goldschlager is still >>>>>>>>>>>>>

The Meiz said...

"Speaking of, Meiz you meant McDonald's regular ass hamburger right?"


I won't buy anything other than a McDouble. Too expensive.

ToddPacker said...

no work for meiz today?

The Meiz said...

14/21

The Meiz said...

Worked Sunday, so no work on Friday.

The Meiz said...

Already went to the petrol mart, ShopKo, Pick N Save, vacuumed, and did dishes. Yolo time in 20 minutes.

The Meiz said...

Probably gonna hit the farmers market downtown some time today.

ToddPacker said...

"Worked Sunday, so no work on Friday"

A flashback to drunk dj Friday would be nice. what's next after Kanye?

Keef said...

Didn't even have to use your AK

El Padrino said...

Payday huh

ToddPacker said...

last free weekend before tailgate season

Keef said...

We got the housekeeper lady cleaning our house today

El Padrino said...

How much?

ToddPacker said...

"We got the housekeeper lady cleaning our house today"

how much does that run. been trying to convince cmtp to go the cleaning lady route

Keef said...

$100. Once a month, she's there for about 4 hours

ToddPacker said...

sotp banged up cmtp's car over the weekend. I have not reported to our insurance yet. how long can I wait, Keith?

Keef said...

Did he damage other property?

The Meiz said...

"A flashback to drunk dj Friday would be nice. what's next after Kanye?"

We'll see what fits my eye.

I can take requests.

El Padrino said...

No idea if the $100 is high or low. Feels high.

El Padrino said...

Blue wants to hear Bruno meiz. Play him some Bruno.

Jugdish said...

sotp banged up cmtp's car over the weekend. I have not reported to our insurance yet. how long can I wait, Keith?



that's more of a question for kevin

ToddPacker said...

"Did he damage other property?"

not really. he clipped a parked landscape trailer. the landscape guy said he would send me a bill to replace his tail light

ToddPacker said...

"that's more of a question for kevin"

good point

Keef said...

not really. he clipped a parked landscape trailer.


Yes. Got it

Keef said...

not really. he clipped a parked landscape trailer. the landscape guy said he would send me a bill to replace his tail light


There's really no SOL if you're just making a claim for your damages. Your policy might have wording that says report the claim within x amount of days. But as long as you don't mention any other property damage in your claim, you can use whatever date you want.

Keef said...

But as long as you're not changing insurance companies on the regular, they usually won't make a stink of you wait months to report it.

ToddPacker said...

do you do any damage estimating? I have a $1000 deductible and I think the damages are at least $3000. I'm not sure if I should just bite the bullet and pay to fix it so my insurance doesn't skyrocket. I can text you a pic

Keef said...

I don't but I can have someone look at it. Text me the pic and the year make model

The Meiz said...

Kubiak has been downloaded. Operation Win The Whole Fucking Thing is in effect.

The Meiz said...

"No idea if the $100 is high or low. Feels high."


Keith has an entire house, not an apartment. $100 doesn't sound bad to me, but I'd never pay it, obvi.

The Meiz said...

"I have a $1000 deductible and I think the damages are at least $3000."


3K? That sounds exactly like Tem's "slightly cracked" phone screen.

ToddPacker said...

the shit is way more than slightly cracked

ToddPacker said...

I sent the text, Keith. thanks

The Meiz said...

"the shit is way more than slightly cracked"

So was Tem's phone

Keef said...

Keith has an entire house, not an apartment. $100 doesn't sound bad to me, but I'd never pay it, obvi.


True. She rates it on sqft. An apt would probably be $50-75. But it's probably more in NYC obviously

The Meiz said...

Dangerdoom, The Mouse And The Mask

El Padrino said...

Fucking sotp

The Meiz said...

I wish I had a ceiling fan in my living room. Hottest room in the apartment.

The Meiz said...

I have a full docket tonight.

Woody's crib before Summer Sounds

Summer Sounds

Holler at ol' girl

Friends' surprise engagement party at the Cedar Dome


I'm gonna be drunk as fuck tonight

Keef said...

Social butterfly

The Meiz said...

I really am. For a shut-in, I really like being around people.

The Meiz said...

Being out and about saves me from myself

ToddPacker said...

"Social butterfly"

I'm kind of jealous... I'll be catching up on the DVR and researching used Expedition parts tonight

Keef said...

I'll be watching the Simpsons marathon


/kod

Keef said...

I gotta work tonight, work tomorrow, then backyard camping tomorrow night

Keef said...

Being out and about saves me from myself


Do we need to have all of your belts and rope confiscated

El Padrino said...

I'm gonna drink and watch a movie. After the starters come out. Giants /Jets.

El Padrino said...

Avengers.

DET

tem said...

$20 to $30 per hour us the going rate in cbus.

Keef said...

I hate working on Saturdays. But I enjoy getting the following Friday off. Especially when that Friday falls on a holiday weekend

The Meiz said...

Same deal as my Sundays. And Sundays are usually super easy breezy.

The Meiz said...

Off to the Mercs game! Playoff semis this weekend.

El Padrino said...

Your face falls on a holiday weekend.

Aitch said...

"Do we need to have all of your belts and rope confiscated"

Don't forget his shoelaces. He doesn't use them anyway.

Keef said...

Runny diary tonight

Keef said...

Fucking Bradford

Keef said...

No runny diary. Shit starts at 9:00

Aitch said...

I watched about 10 minutes of the VMAs last night. I didn't recognize half the people they showed and Lorde won best rock video. That was it for me.

El Padrino said...

Old man

tem said...

all I saw was something about a wardrobe malfunction.

Blue said...

cool

Blue said...

CLeaning lady prices.

we pay $100 every two weeks.

just so i don't have to clean toilets and showers

Blue said...

also, it's worth it to me so that I don't have to waste half of a weekend day cleaning

instead i can sit and drink

Blue said...

management conference was last week.

I have a new obsession since hot receptionist has left the building

Blue said...

literally had a super drunk chick I know come up to me in the bar at the conference and tell me she was going to text me her room number. (it was roughly midnight)

I was with other people at the time so all I could think to say is "WHY?"

i think I embarrased the shit out of her, she never text me the number, but i never planned on going to her room. She was ok hot, but i'm married and that shit's too real for me

Keef said...

also, it's worth it to me so that I don't have to waste half of a weekend day cleaning


Whatta gotta wife?

/LP

The Meiz said...

Crappy weather today

The Meiz said...

"literally had a super drunk chick I know come up to me in the bar at the conference and tell me she was going to text me her room number."


The old man's still got it.

tem said...

blue do you have pets?

we do 4hrs of cleaning lady every 6 weeks for $100.

does an extra kid add that much more needed cleaning?

tem said...

also, lordz of 1st world problems

Keef said...

Blue's house is 7600 sqft

Keef said...

Cmk's parents use the same cleaning lady as us. She does their house twice a month, like $75 each time. But their house is about 800 more sqft than ours

Keef said...

It's a white lady that cleans our house, too

The Meiz said...

Well thank god for that

Keef said...

Nomsayin

Blue said...

we have white people too

i think they're polish

Blue said...

we have a dog.

also, most of the house you can't tell it was cleaned like 3 or 4 days later.

that's what happens when you have 2 kids who are terrors

Keef said...

also, most of the house you can't tell it was cleaned like 3 or 4 days later.


This

tem said...

we don't have any pets and just have the 1 kid, but she doesn't mess up the place too much. the kitchen where she eats gets destroyed pretty quickly but otherwise it isn't bad.

Keef said...

At least your microwave is always clean

tem said...

cmtem uses the shit out of that thing.

Keef said...

just have the 1 kid, but she doesn't mess up the place too much

That'll change when she starts distributing her toys throughout the house

El Padrino said...

Bluejected!

El Padrino said...

My kids destroy the house. We just let it back up and clean it all when they lay down for bed. Totes are key. I just throw all his cars and imaginext guys in a big fucking tote

Blue said...

you don't touch the girl's stuff?

El Padrino said...

Yeah I do. She does mostly arts and crafts so I just end up throwing it out.

El Padrino said...

Her mess pales in comparasion to his and she's hold enough to put her own shit away

Keef said...

Isn't your boy almost 4? He can't put his own shit away?

El Padrino said...

Yeah he's almost four. I'm sure he can he just doesn't give a fuck.

Keef said...

Boys mature slower. Cmlp still puts my stuff away


/LP

El Padrino said...

Boys are dumb

Blue said...

twhnbs

/beth
/kod

Keef said...

NEW YORK - A New York City woman charged with killing a toddler in her care told police she threw the boy to the floor and stepped on him three times, authorities say.



Fuckin NYC

Blue said...

"Fuckin NYC "

boys are dumb

The Meiz said...

Greatest city in the world!

El Padrino said...

Truer words.

Jugdish said...

also, lordz of 1st world problems


ha


we don't have anyone clean the house but we do occasionally pay the someone to do our lawn depending on our schedule that weekend. $25 a week or $20 a week if you pay for the month.

Jugdish said...

mize's boy, shaun hill time, in St Louis

Blue said...

st louis should be trading for the sanchise or try and get cousins

Jugdish said...

they talked about that on mike and mike this morning. the thought was that the rams wouldn't be willing to give up what it would take to get cousins.

Jugdish said...

it would be like Draft Day..."I want everything I gave up for RGIII"

Jugdish said...

s

tem said...

shaun hill isn't terrible.

Blue said...

says you

Jugdish said...

says mize

The Meiz said...

Shaun Hill rules, and the Lions were dumb for not signing him to back Stafftard up.

The Meiz said...

9-7 in the Lou this year

Keef said...

No way all 4 teams in the west are .500 or better

tem said...

Niners go 7-9 this year.

tem said...

Harbaugh bolts for Michigan next year.



Keef said...

Interesting

Keef said...

Then Michigan fan becomes even more retarded than they already are

tem said...

unpossible

The Meiz said...

Michigan fans are hilarity

tem said...

Browns fans are the worse*/best.

Aitch said...

Jay Glazer is reporting the Patriots have agreed to trade Logan Mankins to the Bucs for a draft pick and TE Tim Wright.

Aitch said...

Tem, this guy any good?

Keef said...

Shit for shat

Aitch said...

If you think Logan Mankins is shit, I question your football knowledge.

Jugdish said...

he was the shat

Keef said...

My bad for not knowing who an o-lineman was on a team that I couldn't care any less about

tem said...

"Jay Glazer is reporting the Patriots have agreed to trade Logan Mankins to the Bucs for a draft pick and TE Tim Wright."

you got ripped off. better hope you get a draft pick too

Keef said...

Your reader sucks

Jugdish said...

Lp

tem said...

wright was serviceable though at TE. scored some TDs, made some catches. nothing spectacular.

he's good insurance but Mankins seems to be a lot better. unless Mankins fell off big time.



tem said...

"Your reader sucks"

my typist sucks.

I meant to say better hope you get a high draft pick too

tem said...

I know Mankins made the pro-bowl a lot recently.

I don't think Wright is a pro-bowl guy.

tem said...

web says 4th rounder.

I would have thought 3rd at least, probably 2nd would be more in order.

Maybe Mankins sucks now or maybe Gronk is in bad shape.

Keef said...

My next door neighbor's daughter made the Phoenix Suns dance team for this season. Maybe she'll have them all over a their house for a pool party and I can just watch from our upstairs window

Keef said...

That was probably creepy

tem said...

If there wasn't this sex offender list going around you could maybe go over there and hang out

Keef said...

IIWFWABD

The Meiz said...

I found Freak on SBN.

El Padrino said...

Great idea keef. Take pics.

El Padrino said...

Mankins cost pats too much. Typical move. His upcoming cap numbers too high. They have a solid backup at guard. Wright could thrive with a qb like Brady.

El Padrino said...

Believe it or not Bradford injury takes rams down to 7-9 from 9-7. Unless Zac Stacy turns into an All Pro back.

Keef said...

Rams won't win >6 games

El Padrino said...

Yeah i can see that. With Hill 7 is the ceiling. Tough going into the year knowing you have zero shot to win anything.

El Padrino said...

Trading for another qb at this point after he knows the offense seems silly to me. Here is Hills shot.

Keef said...

I think if the Redskins were to start Cousins from week 1, they'd make the playoffs

Keef said...

Although I say that with hesitation because Jay Gruden is a piece of shit

Jugdish said...

I question your football knowledge.

/aitch

Keef said...

It's always entertaining when Aitch gets all snarky

tem said...

"I think if the Redskins were to start Cousins from week 1, they'd make the playoffs"

IIWFWABD

Keef said...

Twhnbs

El Padrino said...

Nut

El Padrino said...

What's for breakfast. In such a breakfast rut.

Keef said...

Chocolate lucky charms

Blue said...

breakfast burrito

tem said...

chocolate milk

The Meiz said...

Evidently, gummy worms was a bad choice.

The Meiz said...

One of my co-workers has a bigger gut than me. It hangs out of some of her shirts. Just thought I'd share that with the group.

Keef said...

Hot

El Padrino said...

Shell blow you in the parking lot

Aitch said...

Gordon appeal denied. Update your fantasy rankings.

The Meiz said...

I'm getting a new work computer soon. Rejoice.

The Meiz said...

China may or may not be developing a supersonic submarine that could get to the US in two hours.

Aitch said...

Sounds interesting

The Meiz said...

It glides through the water enveloped in a sheath of air. Little to no resistance pushing on it.

Blue said...

2 hours would be faster than the speed of sound. this seems unlikely

The Meiz said...

Hence "supersonic"

The Meiz said...

We have free bottles of Purell in HR for the staff. In summary, I have become Purell guy.

tem said...

captain nemo had a supersonic sub

tem said...

" Little to no resistance pushing on it."

seems like the air sheath would have helluva resistance on it.

Keef said...

Oh are you a scientist now?

The Meiz said...

I'm just repeating what I read on the AOL today.

Keef said...

JJ Fad knows about supersonic shit

Keef said...

20/40

Keef said...

This josh shaw story is hilarity

The Meiz said...

What a moron

The Meiz said...

Fucking Jorge Soler

El Padrino said...

AOL. Ha.

The Meiz said...

Gotta check my junk mail every day. That's where all my consumerism subscriptions go. Coupons, deals, offers, and whatnot.

El Padrino said...

Fantasy names:

Thomas Edward Uggs
Mr. Gisele
Very Funny Joique
Andre 3000 (Andre Ellington)
50 Shades of Clay
Ben Rape(d)?


All my own not googled that's cheating. Ns.

El Padrino said...

AJ Greenbacks

El Padrino said...

Those are my players for the most part. Also have MJD and Woodhead.

The Meiz said...

I'm using Beats By Ray for the time being

The Meiz said...

Team name doesn't need to be related to any of your players as long as it's funny and/or offensive

El Padrino said...

I know it doesn't have to but its sort of my thing. Last year I was coope clux clan. I had Riley. Year before I was arroz con pollo. Had rice

And so on

Jugdish said...

this year in the league that I run we have a guy drafting from Japan, one drafting from China, and one from Arizona State. We're going international.

Blue said...

team name is "I pity the foles"

Blue said...

team name is "I pity the foles"

tem said...

what's blue's team's name?

Blue said...

I pity the foles

can't your reader read?

tem said...

they can read but they are mute so they don't tell me what they read.

it was a bad hire on my part, but now I can't get rid of them because of disability mumbo jumbo.

tem said...

hey I guess since H stopped posting about that chick awhile ago he is out of love again. is that accurate?

tem said...

old

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"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino