Friday, January 24, 2014

Turbo Tax

It's over. Greedy fucks ruined it.

Read San Fran is opening up the countries first "Cat Café". FUCK YOU.

Wife told me not to drink while I have this cold thing going on I argued that alcohol actually helps the common cold. I lost. So now when I make tea I add whiskey (hottie toddy). And she just thinks I have a cup of tea. I win.

If I were on chopped I'd so dominate. (blowhardy?)

waffles, shrimp, beet juice, lemon soda
20 minutes on the clock and go
Waffle fried shrimp with a suite lemon dipping sauce and a beet gastrique. I win.

Where do you put the dipping sauce of your choice or ketchup when you buy the go cup from KFC?

Going to see my stupid sister in February. South Carolina will never be the same once I'm fucking done with it.

You know you have a thick Brooklyn Italian accent when the Mexican cutting your cold cuts don't understand you.
Yeah can I get a half a pound of brahzoot.
A wha?
brahzoot, half of pound the parma one
oh prosciutto.
yes sir.

Everytime I go out to eat and I see a couple sitting on the same side of the table (sitting next to each other) I want to go shit on their table.

Richard Sherman is alright by me.

#1 offense vs #1 defense.....last time, I'm sure ypu all know this it's all over the coverage....wide left, Scott Norwood.

Percy could be huge for Seattle....

Ran the preliminary numbers, think I owe Federal just a little bit though. Fucking Obama.

I wanna punch the Wal mart guy in the throat. Rollback deez nuts faggot.

my birthday is next year, thinking about picking up some new headphones any suggestions?

127 comments:

H said...

EP is an angry hobbit today.

Brooklon Baby said...

I'm not an angry person at all

Keef said...

Wife told me not to drink while I have this cold thing going on I argued that alcohol actually helps the common cold. I lost. So now when I make tea I add whiskey (hottie toddy). And she just thinks I have a cup of tea. I win.



You're probably an alcoholic

Blue said...

I've given up alcohol in support of some diet/cleanse thing that cmblue is doing.

at first it sucked, but now it's not so bad

Brooklon Baby said...

Probably. But a real good one.

I think they call that functional?

H said...

What's Cmblue doing?

H said...

I'm not supposed to drink on my program either, but I kinda ignore that part.

Keef said...

I think they call that functional?




Whatever you need to say to get you by

Keef said...

I'm not supposed to drink on my program either, but I kinda ignore that part.



consider me shocked

(s)

/elevator guy

tem said...

"It's over. Greedy fucks ruined it."

what?

tem said...

"If I were on chopped I'd so dominate. (blowhardy?)"

nfw, you'd be chopped 1st dish. you wouldn't even know how to prepare half the shit they throw at you.

it is all people who cook for a living. maybe you'd do ok on that show where kids cook.

you're short. shave and act like a 12 yr old and sneak on the show. you'd dominate that.

tem said...

"Where do you put the dipping sauce of your choice or ketchup when you buy the go cup from KFC?"

haven't had kfc since like the 90s

tem said...

"I wanna punch the Wal mart guy in the throat."

the old guy that greets you when you went in? that's cruel.

tem said...

"my birthday is next year, thinking about picking up some new headphones any suggestions?"

you already had one this year?

you should get beats. they suit you.

tem said...

"I've given up alcohol in support of some diet/cleanse thing that cmblue is doing."

do you get laid more?

if not then it was a shitty decision on your part. you got hosed.

tem said...

"I argued that alcohol actually helps the common cold."

it does not.

tem said...

"So now when I make tea "

you make hot tea? what are you an 80yr old lady?

Brooklon Baby said...

Only 80 year olds drink tea? Fuck.

Wal mart commercial guy.

Brooklon Baby said...

The amateur Chopped.

Brooklon Baby said...

It's over. Greedy fucks ruined it.

Wall street. The comp numbers have been steadily decreasing and this year its the worse I've seen. The industry is shrinking the business is changing and the party is over.

Brooklon Baby said...

I gotta deliver a lot of bad news

Keef said...

Send out my Amazon card before wall street breaks you

tem said...

"Wall street. The comp numbers have been steadily decreasing and this year its the worse I've seen. The industry is shrinking the business is changing and the party is over. "

so you're getting fucked employment-wise?

tem said...

el pad owes you an amazon card too? I thought just H did.

tem said...

this blog is like a profit center for keith.

Keef said...

el pad owes you an amazon card too? I thought just H did.



Yeah, his GEMS. We bet back on 10/10 that he wouldn't finish at least .500 on his picks. He almost made it.

Keef said...

Any time someone makes a bet with LP, they somehow profit

Brooklon Baby said...

Remember when I sold weekly gems on eBay and someone bought it. That was fun.

Brooklon Baby said...

Text me your address I'll send it next week

tem said...

"Remember when I sold weekly gems on eBay and someone bought it. That was fun. "

did you even make picks for them at all?

tem said...

remember when you wrote for the stache?

Keef said...

Remember when I sold weekly gems on eBay and someone bought it. That was fun.



What a country!!

Brooklon Baby said...

Yea I made picks. Every week. And I promised to refund the money if I didn't finish over .500

I didn't

Keef said...

weasel

tem said...

did you return the money?

Brooklon Baby said...

I didnt refund it because I finished over .500

Blue said...

I would win cutthroat kitchen

Jugdish said...

Any time someone makes a bet with LP, they somehow profit


hilarity

tem said...

"I didnt refund it because I finished over .500"


that's how I read "And I promised to refund the money if I didn't finish over .500. I didn't"

tem said...

I would win if you could order from Olive Garden.

Keef said...

that's how I read "And I promised to refund the money if I didn't finish over .500. I didn't"




Yeah, I don't understand most of what LP says either.

Keef said...

I mean, I understand it as far as I know how to read English. But his meaning is Greek to me

The Meiz said...

"I've given up alcohol in support of some diet/cleanse thing that cmblue is doing."


That shit makes your dumps smell horrible, I've heard.

Keef said...

Because dumps normally smell awesome?

The Meiz said...

I like how LP decided to cherry pick his Chopped basket and didn't mention any other ingredients. The judges would shred that.

Blue said...

"That shit makes your dumps smell horrible, I've heard."

probably

Keef said...

Anyone watch that Cutthroat Kitchen show? That's pretty entertaining

The Meiz said...

"Because dumps normally smell awesome?"

Everybody loves their own brand.

Blue said...

"waffles, shrimp, beet juice, lemon soda"

make a dessert out of this.

GO

The Meiz said...

"Anyone watch that Cutthroat Kitchen show?"

Yep

Blue said...

"Anyone watch that Cutthroat Kitchen show? That's pretty entertaining"

yes, I'd win

Keef said...

make a dessert out of this.

GO




Lemon waffle shrimp beet smoothie. I win.

Keef said...

yes, I'd win




Yeah, because you're so rich and you would just outbid everyone

Blue said...

"Yeah, because you're so rich and you would just outbid everyone"

I'm ruthless

Jugdish said...

"I've given up alcohol in support of some diet/cleanse thing that cmblue is doing."


didn't you just have a suite bar built and get a kegerator?

tem said...

"Anyone watch that Cutthroat Kitchen show?"

no. blank state here

Jugdish said...

no. blank state here


same here...not a fan of the cooking shows though

Jugdish said...

wall

Keef said...

not a fan of your face though

Blue said...

"didn't you just have a suite bar built and get a kegerator?"

yep, it's not a long term situation, just the next month or so

tem said...

cooking shows suck.

next they will have cleaning shows.

let's see who can vacuum the best!

tem said...

you get a sponge, a bucket of water and a lemon.

clean this room!

Keef said...

why should woman get there own show?


/LP

Jugdish said...

why should woman get there own show, unless its porn?


/LP


fixed

Jugdish said...

was keef at this party?

Jugdish said...

"This is the United States of America, not the United States of I have a right to never be offended," one person posted on Facebook, AZCentral.com reported.


its also not the "United States of no consequences for your actions".

Keef said...

No. But funny story about that frat. Bilok was the president of his frat, DKE, at ASU. They lived in a complex off campus. Most of the frat, except for about 5 dudes, were out of town on a retreat (enter gay joke here, tem), when a bunch of dudes from the frat in that article strolled over to bilok's frat complex and destroyed a bunch of property and beat the shit out of some of the dudes who didn't go. That frat got suspended by ASU for that incident, and had just recently been reinstated when they had this blackface party with watermelons

Keef said...

"This is the United States of America, not the United States of I have a right to never be offended," one person posted on Facebook, AZCentral.com reported.




I love when people are ignorant like that. This isn't a constitutional issue, this is a university code of conduct issue.

Keef said...

What is ya? Ignant?

Jugdish said...

yeah ive never understood the whole "I can do whatever I want whenever I want and you have to be ok with it" attitude

Keef said...

tem
ufc picks

Blue said...

"Wall street. The comp numbers have been steadily decreasing and this year its the worse I've seen. The industry is shrinking the business is changing and the party is over. "

agree to disagree

/Jamie dimon

tem said...

Benson Henderson vs. Josh Thomson


Henderson by a decision. I think he is quicker and will dart around all fight and get the win. Also he will push the hair out of his face at least 30 times.

Darren Elkins vs. Jeremy Stephens

Elkins. I am pretty sure Stephens was good 10 years ago, but not so much now.

Gabriel Gonzaga vs. Stipe Miocic

Miocic, although Gonzaga can win with a good punch. I think Miocic is the more athletic dude and will use it to ride his way to victory.


Donald Cerrone vs. Adriano Martins

Cerrone. He is a cowboy, he needs money and winning gives you money. Plus the other guy's name is Adriano which sounds like a contestant from some modeling show.

tem said...

"destroyed a bunch of property and beat the shit out of some of the dudes who didn't go"

that's hilarious?

tem said...

" this is a university code of conduct issue."

the constitution trumps the code of conduct.

Blue said...

not on MLK day

Blue said...

what I find funny is that Arizona doesn't even recognize MLK day as a holiday, right?

tem said...

why is it that the winter Olympics are cool, but the winter x games are dumb?

Keef said...

that's hilarious?




Did I say that?

Keef said...

what I find funny is that Arizona doesn't even recognize MLK day as a holiday, right?



They used to not, but then the NFL wouldn't give them the superb bowl because they didn't recognize MLK, so now they recognize it.
Or something like that

tem said...

"Blogger Keef said...
No. But funny story about that frat.....when a bunch of dudes from the frat in that article strolled over to bilok's frat complex and destroyed a bunch of property and beat the shit out of some of the dudes who didn't go."


January 24, 2014 at 3:08 PM
Delete

tem said...

I read "No. But funny story about that frat" as that you thought the story you would be telling was funny.

Keef said...

The funny part is they just got off their suspension and now they're kicked out of the university

Keef said...

I didn't say hilarious anywhere in my comment

Brooklon Baby said...

I know right guys I never understand what keef is saying too. Funny, hilarious. Same thing. Fucking keef.

Keef said...

Well you're half retarded, so that makes sense.

Jugdish said...

nothing is hilarious unless it has vulgarity

/mize

tem said...

el pad knows

Keef said...

Not the same

Keef said...

el pad knows




"If you agree with EP, change your opinion."

Blue said...

what if you said, hilarity?

Keef said...

But I didn't.

Blue said...

but, what IF

Keef said...

if if what if if

Blue said...

oh, going all holier then now

tem said...

yeah Keith is being as.like. consistency here is nice.

The Meiz said...

Totally mailed it in at work today.

Brooklon Baby said...

Melo

H said...

"you make hot tea? what are you an 80yr old lady"

What's wrong with hot tea? I always have green tea before a show.

tem said...

and then when you go home you fire up the tea machine and chill out with some tea and murder she wrote?

Keef said...

Lots of singers drink tea before they perform

Keef said...

And she just thinks I have a cup of tea. I win.



She knows you're drinking. It's not like you have vodka in there, whiskey has a distinct odor.
They always know

tem said...

el pad isn't performing

tem said...

el pad is apparently chilling at home with tea and murder she wrote.

Keef said...

el pad is apparently chilling at home with tea and murder she wrote.



Gotcha. I thought you were clowning H

The Meiz said...

Working tomorrow is going to blow goats. I haven't worked a customer service Sunday in almost two years.

Keef said...

I'm working today. But I'm getting ready to go home in a few

H said...

"Gotcha. I thought you were clowning H"

Wait just a damn minute here... Was Keith.. DEFENDING me? There really is a first time for everything!

tem said...

not clowning h. just saying same thing you were. h tea isn't the same as el pad tea.

tem said...

effing 'eers

The Meiz said...

I might be drunk

tem said...

little early for that?

The Meiz said...

Nope

tem said...

I see

Keef said...

Grammys tomorrow night

tem said...

pro bowl tonight

The Meiz said...

Royal Rumble tonight

tem said...

banner fucking night

The Meiz said...

Are we getting a runny dairy* tomorrow?

Brooklon Baby said...

I should order the royal rumble

Keef said...

Sure

Keef said...

I'm making fish tacos right now

Keef said...

Runny diary is really long.

The Meiz said...

Excellent.


K-Dot & Imagine Dragons was chains. Good golly.

Keef said...

Wasn't a fan of Kendrick, but ID was great

Keef said...

Diary is up.

LMC

Keef said...

It's 20,000 words. Ish.

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino