Tuesday, January 28, 2014

Sunday Diary (posted on Tuesday or some other day)

We join the night in progress:

7:37 - Did you know that the pro bowl is different this year? For the past 10 minutes I've been told about it. Also Jerry Rice and Prime Time have the worst fake trash talk I've ever seen. I am like 163% sure Rice brings down the trash talk. Prime Time has a hilarious beard though.

7:39 - Grace Potter national anthem. Umm, not good. Probably worst I have ever heard by a professional singer. It's raining, I bet that threw her off her game.

7:42 - Rule change, teams change possession at the end of each quarter. 1st and 3rd quarters get 2 minute warnings too. I like this.

7:44 - First play, short armed throw by Brees. He looks funny throwing. Tilts his head so he can see out of the bottom of his facemask, always funny. Second play, sack, Brees blows out his knee. Not really, just a normal sack.

7:45 - Near sack, team Prime Time came to play. I guess. 3 and out for team Rice.

7:46 - Dumb Viking doesn't fair catch it, gets tackled right away. Umm, hey the special teamers are like the best players in the league, maybe you should fair catch it.

7:47 - I is cold and snowy here. Every county I have heard of has cancelled its Meals on Wheels. Also Columbus Day School is cancelled.

7:49 - Jordan Cameron catches a pass from Andrew Luck. Has a heart attack; first pass he has caught from a real quarterback in a very long time.

7:50 - Worst Beast commercial I have ever seen. Stock price should drop this week.

7:51 - Fuck whoever is bringing apples to tailgates and throwing them at people. Suck my dick Redd's Apple Ale.

7:53 - Flea Flicker, fools nobody, Desean Jackson scores anyway.

7:54 - cmtem just asked what I am doing. She doesn't get it.

7:59 - Another 3 and out for Brees. He is throwing poorly today. I don't think he is taking this seriously. JJ Watt is though.

8:01 - Flipped it to the Grammy's. No idea who this is. Beyonce? Yeah Beyonce, go me. She looks wet, maybe it is raining at the Grammy's too. Aside: El Pad wants to be this chair Beyonce is on.

8:04 - Team Rice has good field position now, must have missed a turn over or something.

8:09 - Back to Grammy's. LL Cool J is talking, is he the host? Why is he talking about everyone? Is he just saying as many names that he can? Aside: Pink has fugly teeth and the living Beatles' wives are hot.

8:11 - Umm, I like Anna Kendrick's boobs but when she talks it goes downhill. But the boobs are nice. Best new artist: Blank Stare, Blank Stare, Blank Stare, Kacey Musgraves, Blank Stare. Winner is Blank Stare. Blank Stare's bitch is crying a lot. She is happy. She is going to make more in the divorce now. I would have gone with Kacey Musgraves for the award.

8:14 - Back to football: No idea how Team Rice didn't score. Jamaal Charles just got blown up by his own teammate. Like real life teammate.

8:17 - Bud light 2-2-14 commercials are weird. I know what is coming that day, it is a well known event.

8:21 - bgtem is at the age where she can mimic me as long as I don't use words. Screaming is fun. cmtem hates it when I get bgtem screaming.

8:23 - 1st QTR change of possession means that timeouts get used now, in the 1st QTR for the 2 minute drill. This time out rule is built for Marvin Lewis. Keith knows.

8:24- End of QTR INT, fun return. Laterals and stuff. Fun.

8:25 - Grammy's: Hunter Hayes. Is this a country show? He isn't singing a song I recognize. He sounds bad. Young Country people usually do sound bad live. Taylor Swift used to sound horrendous live. Now she has improved to OK. Hunter Hayes has a ways to go. He seems short too.

8:28 - Football: not a bad crowd at this game.

8:29 - Watt said he was going to go to the Olympics. Umm bad idea. Like 90% chance something blows up there.

8:40 - Decent amount of hitting in this game. It is unlike any Pro-Bowl I have ever seen. In other news I got some shitty work email. I responded in a shitty manner. Monday might be fun. I am tired of their shit.

8:43 - Strip sack, INT. Fat guy rumbled for awhile, got caught from behind. 1st and Goal for one of the teams. I don't remember which team is which. Score is 7 to 7, I missed a TD for Team Rice.

8:53 - Had to change the diaper genie. Apparently it couldn't wait. Don't get married. Anyone. No sexy time, changing diaper genies all the time, it is fucking terrible. It made me miss a TD in the pro-bowl game. THE HORROR.

8:57 - Work emails still are pissing me off.

8:58 - Another poor throw by a QB, this time Rivers. Maybe the QBs should practice more or something. Timing with these receivers they've never played with before is terrible.

8:59 - Grammy's: Black guy singing. He is good. No idea who he is. Babyface? Is that a guy still? Is this lil bow bow all grown up?

9:00 - gonna let bgtem hit the keys.

0vyy7hyu8yyyyyyd t898u77y18
20000000 m87 ,-. /[.c'g[

9:03 - Family Guy time. Peter, Joe and Quagmire are hunting, Peter shot Quagmire. Hilarity.

9:07 - Good episode so far. Peter and Quagmire broke up.

9:08 - Brian's son is on TV, dual plot episode. That's nice, some shows don't even get one plot.

9:13 - Joe Pesci joke. Ha.

9:14 - Nobody has Brian's novel. Ha.

9:14 - Rape joke. Ha.

9:16 - Baby raspberry inappropriate location joke. Ha.

9:16 - Brian got fired. Like 3 minute job for him. Ha.

9:18 - Brian stole the food. Ha.

9:21 - Meg Shriner's Convention joke. Ha.

9:25 - Very special Family Guy joke. Ha. Zach Sawyer.

9:26 - Quagmire gets to shoot Peter so they can be friends again. Ha Joe did it. Then Quagmire shot Peter's head. Lesson learned.

9:28 - Pro Bowl: 14-14 start of 3rd. Fumble 1st play. Good job Shady.

9:29 - Team dark jerseys are still playing, team light jerseys not so much.

9:31 - Chris Collinsworth loves it. He loves it. Al Michaels just dropped a "histrionics" spell check says it is a word. Histrionics. No idea what that means.

9:35 - Grammy's. Old people singing. Maybe a Beatle? I dunno. Average age on stage is 103. It sounds poor. It is the not the Paul Beatle. Although Paul might be in the background on Keyboard. Shot of Steven Tyler in the audience. He looked fucked up. Death is in his near future. Poor guy.

9:36 - Award for something. Blank Stare, Jay Z, Jay Z, Blank Stare featuring Mary J Blige, Blank Stare. Winner Jay Z.

Time to attempt sexy time. I'll fail. Probably change course and watch porn then go to bed.


Keef said...

Good work

Keef said...

What's a diaper genie?

Keef said...

I know I can google it. But we need comments to build our brand

H said...

I need closure on the email story

Blue said...

he went to work and diligently answered the emails.

the end

Blue said...

I'm thinking about starting one of those facebookie thingies

Blue said...

mostly because my 20 year HS reunion should be this summer, and I want to see if there will be any hot chicks there

Blue said...

haven't talked to someone from highschool in 19 years probably...well maybe 17 years, one of my HS friends sisters went to collitch with me for a year or two.

Brooklon Baby said...

That still a thing?

H said...

Well I'm headed to NYC tomorrow to work the Superbowl festivities. So last minute.

tem said...

diaper genie is the thing that you put the smelly diapers in and it traps the smell.

aka, trash can with a sealed lid.

tem said...

as of yet nobody has called me out yet Re: my shitty work email.

tem said...

lots of yets

tem said...

cool news about H and the nyc working the superbowl stuff

Keef said...

diaper genie is the thing that you put the smelly diapers in and it traps the smell.


tem said...

I have no idear* how you have never heard of it or don't have it.

you must have the same thing and it is just a different name.

Blue said...

"Well I'm headed to NYC tomorrow to work the Superbowl festivities. So last minute."

damn, if I'd have known that, I could have bunked with H, and gone to the game

Blue said...

we didn't buy the diaper genie because you had to have special liners or some shit.

we bought the diaper champ, I think

Keef said...

you must have the same thing and it is just a different name

We have a Trash CanTM

Keef said...

We use scented trash bags

Keef said...

Last night when we finished dinner, Cmk picked up bgas2 and I noticed that she had blown out her diaper and it was all soaked through her pants, and cmk's arm was in it. I started laughing and was like look out for the poop because your arm is in it. Them bgas2 started laughing hysterically which made me laugh more. Then bgas1 started laughing with us. Needless to say, Cmk wasn't laughing

Keef said...

So that carpet we ordered, we thought wouldn't be in until next week. We're having a bday party for bgas1 on Sunday. H&D calla me yesterday and the carpet came in, they're going to install it now on Friday. So we have to move everything from upstairs to downstairs this week and then move it all back by Sunday. Woe.

The Meiz said...


The Meiz said...

How does on shit through a diaper and pants? That's amazing.

Keef said...

Ask your sister. I'm sure she's experienced it by now

Blue said...

"How does on shit through a diaper and pants? That's amazing."

she didn't make it to the shower in time

Keef said...


The Meiz said...

"she didn't make it to the shower in time"

Well that's just bad parenting by Keith, then. I bet Caput Mundi parents get their kids to the show in time to shit.

Keef said...

Probably. That's because their living spaces are 450 sqft

The Meiz said...

Only two grand a month!

What a bargain!

tem said...

"w does on shit through a diaper and pants? That's amazing."

it goes around the diaper.

and pants aren't meant to hold shit back, so they don't.

Brooklon Baby said...

Fucking diapers

tem said...

"we didn't buy the diaper genie because you had to have special liners or some shit."

yeah they have their own liners.

tem said...

they grant wishes too though, so it works out in the end.

I don't know what would happen if you wished to not use the special liners.

Brooklon Baby said...

Toilet paper in this place is getting worse. Wonder if they mixed up the shipping and we have the Mumbai tp

tem said...

cutting costs. it is game over on wall street bro.

Keef said...


Brooklon Baby said...

Sorry to hear that aitch. Jersey is the worst.

Brooklon Baby said...

Marshawn interview with Prime is classic

Keef said...

Mize, outkast is in Tampa on 5/2. You can stay with tp

Keef said...


Blue said...

AAPL got kilt today

tem said...

yeah, I noticed that. bummer for my portfolio.

tem said...

I'm still up 5% but like 3 days ago I was up like 30%.

I bet it comes back before I am ready to retire.

Blue said...

I've gotten hammered on a couple of stocks the last few months.

tem said...

they'll be back

Blue said...


Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"

"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem

"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug

"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino

"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H

"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino

"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino