Wednesday, July 31, 2013

today

I enjoy a good waffle

football is coming.  Lots of dudes getting hurt.  Maybe they should just play touch football and prevent all these injuries

I still have to work everytime I go on vacation

I like the word copious

I can never get tired of sitting and watching the ocean

a group of dolphins is called a pod

biogenesis suspensions are about to hit the fan

i'm hoping that pujols is on the list

wouldn't surprise me if Tulo was on the list, although with as much as he's hurt and as long as it takes him to get back, maybe not so much

Bucks must be making a move to try and win the lottery

Pistons got pretty good this offseason

I think the Cowboys win the NFC East

Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Forgot he quit

Well El Pad posted enough last week that I forgot he quit until yesterday, so I didn't do a tribute video. I'll give it a go next week.

In other news I am going to write 2 words in this post for every comment I figure we will have today.


MLB

The Pirates won. But they lost 2 of 3 to the Reds and the Miami whatevers, so we're still holding steady on that July/August collapse. We'll see how these next few games go.


NFL

Man oh man was there a lot of NFL injuries going on. Shake ups a plenty for the draft process. I think it is going to be a great year for

Monday, July 29, 2013

Oh My

ass son

dat ass 1
http://i.imgur.com/ygTK9Dk.gif

dat ass 2
http://i.imgur.com/aOUEtHy.gif
added urls since linking wasn't working when I previewed, just in case

everyone's reaction or just me?

For EP
twerk GIFs all day

Friday, July 26, 2013

You guys got fat while everyone SCHTARVED on the streets. It's my turn.

I'm so aggravated.

I'm not afraid of death.  Like at all.  And I'm NS on that. 
I'm more like, damn I hope I get the opportunity to see my kids grow up and like marry people and have kids and what not.  I often get consumed in my thoughts about watching a ball game with a 25 year old son of EP.  Or the day I walk the daughter of EP down an aisle towards a nervous son of a bitch.  I know it sounds like I'm rushing that but I can't help it.

I'm thinking about taking out a contract out on my mother in law.

My cousin who is like my brother is getting engaged.  I'm happy about that.

The fuck with Bubble Tea.  Take that gook shit back to Asia.

Herm Edwards is straight up crazy.

I want Rihanna to twerk  on my cock.

The wife busts my balls about the Gel I put in my hair.  Because I buy the cheapest gel on the shelf.  Like it's causing my receding hairline or my thinning hair.  Does not matter.  She's lucky I don't put Vaseline in my hair like my Dad used to do when we went to Church.

Hugs and kisses.

Thursday, July 25, 2013

Pizza

Good luck on the promotion, Mize!

They are coming out with a movie called Creed, about Apollo Creed's grandson...or something like that. Yeah. I didn't know Carl Weathers played in the NFL.

I don't have anything else to say right now...go!

Oh wait...this is a little funny.

Wednesday, July 24, 2013

ice cream sandwiches

ICWs are the best.  I like the cheapest ones though.  The fancy ones are too fancy, give me a box of 12 for $2 and I'm happy.

cmblue and the kids are out of town for the next 3 days, I fly down to Gulf Shores to meet them on Saturday.  I always have visions of awesome partying and doing whatever the hell I want to.  In the end, I end up maybe playing a little golf, but mostly sitting around watching TV and eating shitty food. (like ice cream sandwiches for breakfast)

Training camps are starting to open. Thank God!!  Broncos break camp tomorrow.  Von Miller is an idiot.  Apparently had weed and MDNA (molly) whatever the hell that stuff is, in his system.  But he was framed according to him. 

MLB must have mountains of evidence on these biogenesis guys.  It's like the whitey bulger case, but in baseball.  I imagine Barry Bonds sitting somewhere laughing at Ryan Braun and Arod.  Speaking of those guys, since they had pretty consistent careers, wouldn't it be plausible to think that they've either been on roids their entire career, or the PEDs don't actually work?  It's not like you saw a spike with either of them (maybe when Arod was in Texas). 

George Zimmerman may have helped a family in an overturned car, but this dude is a true superhero. Click on the links in the article to see the car and everything, insane.  And he saved a dog.

The guy who lives across the street from me is a limey Brit.  I was talking to his wife yesterday and she said his parents (who still live in London) were going nuts over this whole royal baby thing.  So he'll be king someday, who cares.  Kanye West should be pissed that his royal baby didn't get this much attention and adoration.

Kate Winslet, yay or nay?  I vote Yes!!

Tuesday, July 23, 2013

Later Post

Post will be later. I have to take milotem to the aerodome.




El Pad

For those of you who don't already know El Pad got shut down at work. He has to use his phone or something now, so that means less gems. I will attempt to do a tribute video for next week's post. I don't have many pictures of him, but I can draw some or something. It should work out.


Braun

A lying cheater. But he made a shit ton of money doing it, so he has that going for him. Was it worth it? Probably. Do I really care? Yes, a little bit. For whatever reason whenever someone looks directly into the camera and says they aren't a cheater, but then turns out to be a cheater it pisses me off a bit. I don't particularly like being lied to. I don't care that he did roids or whatever he did, I care that he lied to me. And I know he didn't really lie to me but I still view it as a lie to me. I guess I just have a higher moral code than he does? I don't know. It is hard to say who I would lie to for millions of dollars. I'd probably lie to everyone for millions of dollars, so maybe I shouldn't be mad at all. Fuck that, I still don't like the guy. I didn't have an opinion of him before, but now I have a negative opinion of him. At least Barry Bonds has the courtesy to keep lying. If you are going to go down, go down in flames. 15 years from now people will say they never proved that Bonds did anything, they never caught him, they never suspended him and he was just the causalty of a witch hunt. 15 years from now Braun will be a lying cheater who got caught and has a funny nose.


NFL Trade Value

This Bill Barnwell or whatever guy has an NFL trade value article on the WWL that basically sucks. He is trying to do what Eltardo does with the NBA but he just fails miserably. I think he over analyzes it. He has Matt Ryan off the list, but Josh Freeman on it. The Bucs would trade Freeman straight up for Ryan right now no questions asked. That is the main tenant of a trade value column. If team A would trade player A for player B then B is higher than A. The Bucs would trade Freeman right now for Ryan and the Falcons would tell the Bucs to shove it up their ass. Larry Fitz and Doug Martin don't make the list but Eric Weddle does?? Like the Chargers would jump at the chance to get Martin for Fitz for Weddle? Fucking worthless column. NFL trade value column is probably too complicated of a column to undertake. Dez Bryant higher than Fitz??? WTF is wrong with this guy? He just stares at Fitz's stats and doesn't realize that Fitz had shit QBs and no help so his stats were bad. Fitz is a top 5 fucking WR in the league. Put him on the Saints and he would get eleventy thousand receiving yards and thirty threeve touchdowns. He would be so good we'd have to make up numbers to quantify his feats. Fucking Barnwell is an idiot. Watch a game once in awhile instead of just looking at stat sheets and contracts.


Luck

Talking with a guy at some fancy dinner yesterday....by the by, I think I am a big deal now because I had to go to a fancy dinner for a project closing that I didn't do any work for, honest to God I didn't even know what the dinner was for until halfway through it....anyway, at the fancy dinner this one guy was just beside himself because Andrew Luck didn't have a top selling jersey. He has no basic understanding of America....Indianapolis isn't really a huge town....America isn't really all excited about a good white QB....who wants a fucking Colts jersey outside of Freak? I can just see some kid in the Miami hood with a hankerin for a Luck jersey.


NHL

The season has been over for like 4 weeks...I think the next season starts soon. NS. Fucking offseason for hockey is short. I think I get more vacation days than a hockey player gets.


NCAA

Soon the big conferences are going to break off for Football and start paying the players. That is going to be awesome. Well paying them openly. It is going to be awesome.

Monday, July 22, 2013

Monday

"Suspended defensive lineman Korey Harris, arrested Friday on charges of first-degree armed robbery, is no longer with the West Virginia football team.
The armed robbery allegedly occurred in Morgantown during the early morning hours of July 12, when police said Harris and two others entered a Sturgis Street home and held two residents at gunpoint.
A relative said one of the victims recognized Harris, who was wearing his WVU-issued sweatpants with the No. 96 on them. "

now a re-post but "Florida linebacker Antonio Morrison, one of the Gators' top defenders, was arrested after barking at a police dog.
The formal charge was interfering with police by harassing a police animal. According to the police report, Morrison, 19, walked up to a police vehicle and began barking at a police dog that was inside the car. Officer William A. Arnold determined that Morrison's actions prevented him from doing his job, and that Morrison resisted when Arnold tried to detain him in handcuffs.
Morrison, the report indicates, told Arnold that the police dog "barked at him first."

dat ass

Friday, July 19, 2013

Heard you busted some Chinese nationals at the border with a bunch of light switches.

I really just enjoy bread with butter.  It makes a good breakfast. 

Did you know why breakfast is breakfast?  Since it's the period meal that "breaks" up the nightime "fast" it's referred to as breakfast.  So if you stumble out of your bed at 3am and end up snacking on a bag of crunchy cheetos that is your breakfast.

your welcome
So many lessons to teach so little time.

I'm jonesing for football pretty bad and it's only July.
I've decided I'm all for the player safety initiative because I don't want to see a guy die on the field.  If that happens football might stop and I don't want it to stop.  I like the idea of watching football with my son when I'm old.

fucking frozen yogurt places huh?

Uncle Joey time:

Alfred Nobel is the guy who started the Nobel Peace Prize award thing.  He invented dynamite.

I should walk into a Library one of these days.  Just because I haven't been inside one in about 20 years.

Green coffee beans?  Seriously?

Detroit is bankrupt.  Officially.  Wonder if they tried pawning some shit at the Hard Core Pawn shop on 8 mile rd that's on TV.

Creme Brulee is delicious.  Especially after a steak dinner.






Thursday, July 18, 2013

Ein, Zwei, Jug!

Do you like the title? I just thought of that...its German.

Had a little scare on Tuesday; cmjug started feeling some sharp pains in her abdomen that morning that were bad enough to call her doc. Long story short they ended up admitting her over night because they detected some contractions. Everything turned out to be OK, thank God. She has a bladder infection which caused some additional issues in the baby region, so they're treating that and she's just got to rest for a few days. I stayed the night with her, you don't get much sleep if any in the hospital. We did see a specialist yesterday and got another ultrasound, it was much more in depth than the one she got to see the gender of the baby. We were able to see his little fingers, his mouth open and close, and things like that...it was really cool stuff!

We got home yesterday evening and in the mailbox was the Blackhawks Stanley Cup champions hat that Aitch sent...you da man H! I won't be calling you a wHeasel. Also, I believe you did buy Lp an beer in NYC, and one beer in NYC is probably more expensive than a six pack anywhere else. AJA, thanks for getting that out so quickly. Its a cool hat and my brothers are now jealous.

Can't wait for all the "Will LeBron go to the Lakers" talk over the next year. S At least Dwight Howard is signed.

Go!

Wednesday, July 17, 2013

All Star Game

Some guy I've never heard of won the MVP.  In case you missed it, the Tigers/Orioles beat the NL.  Seriously there were like 6 guys from each of those teams. At one point it was like they made up all 9 players on the field.

Eventually they're going to figure out that all College Football programs cheat.  I like that the SEC commissioner basically said, we think the NCAA and its rules are stupid.

C'mon Nike, I know your stuff is made in China, but you gotta have somebody double checking the geography on your apparel.  Seriously, it's like EP made the shirt for the Panthers with South Carolina on it.  WADR.  Did they have an intern from the NTSB doing their fact checking?

Kurt Rambis is going to join the Lakers.  I guess he's a good replacement for Dwight Howard.  A big slow white guy with glasses...yeah it's the same.  Lakers aren't making the playoffs next year in a loaded west. (nuggets probably won't either).

Pat Riley is stone cone.  Hey Mike Miller, I realize that you are probably the reason we won both of our matchups in the finals each of the last 2 years.  How about I pay you to just go away.

NFL Training camps start next week.  Broncos are 8 days away from rookies reporting or something.  Way too much pre-season buzz about the broncos here.  They'll be good, but they'll end up being a disappointment.  When have you ever known Peyton Manning to live up to expectations.  Freak knows.

I'm ready to see Jadeveon Clowney decapitate some more fools.  Too bad he plays on a shitty team. I'd be scared of him too.  I mean, not George Zimmerman scared, but enough to know that you let that young man eat his skittles and go home to his daddy.

Rolling stone chose to put the boston marathon bomber dude (the one alive) on its cover.  CONTROVERSY.  Stone Cone.  Boston Strong.  Long live Tsarnev.  some other crap

Big Money Ben is going to fuck with the economy some more.  I wish he'd make interest rates go back down so I can refi, that fucker is costing me money.



Tuesday, July 16, 2013

Tuesday

Some guy I never heard of won the Home Run Derby. One time in College I got 2nd in a homerun derby. It was softballs though. I think we were able to use baseball bats too. I hit 9 of 10 out. It cost $5 to play and the assistant baseball coach spent $50 until he went 10 for 10 and beat me. I won a T-shirt that didn't even come close to fitting me. The winner got half the money. So I think he might have won his $50 back, but I am not sure. There wasn't a lot of people there, so he might have lost money on the deal.

I think NASCAR should throw in some weekday races. Especially after weeks off and especially during this part of the year when there is nothing on.


El Pad, numerous articles have called Superman a disappointing movie money wise. I'd link them, but I don't want to.


I didn't get the call me maybe thing yesterday until I wikied that bitch.


Did H really post a 5 scroller slapper from FB between him and some guy?


I am home sick from work today. I think I ate a bad meatball. Is that possible?





Friday, July 12, 2013

El Pad's Friday Post

Remember when the Little Mermaid DVD or VHS cover had a dong on it? I do.


Being Asian would be OK. I'd be good at math and could name my kid Dong.


Some bitch ordered a drink yesterday, but she ordered it all wrong. I gave her what she wanted.


Kirelinko to the Nets. They might be good. I love Brooklyn. Knicks who?


Jay Z is mad at DiNiro....when do these guys talk? I'd love to be at that party.


Mets benched their only good player so he could pitch in the ASG. I am ok with that.


Denver is gonna win the Super Bowl. Write it in ink. Or blood. Or dong juice.


/ El Padrino

Thursday, July 11, 2013

I'm tired...

...and TPS sucks!

I'd like to see the White Sox start unloading some players for some prospects.

A couple more weeks until NFL training camps starts.

I got my fantasy football draft kit in the mail the other day...suite. It had a sticker for Aaron Hernandez in there, we might put it on the Toilet Bowl trophy.

David Ortiz hit a ball last night.

I have no desire to see The Lone Ranger.

Tuesday, July 09, 2013

Tuesday is the best?

Nah, Tuesday's aren't the best. Saturday's are. I think. Not Tuesday's though.


Fucking intrawebs....Internet Explorer won't let me check my work email and Firefox won't let me post on the blog. Something about cookies. I dislike cookies. They are probably my least favorite dessert genre. Cake is great, pie is great too, cookies, not so much. Too much variation in the same cookies. A chocolate chip cookie can be hard as a rock or soft and chewy, both seem to be acceptable and you don't know which one you are going to get. You never get rock hard birthday cake. So boo to cookies.


I wonder if James Harden is already sick of Dwight Howard?


I'm on baby duty this AM because cmtem had to go to the doctor's office for her whatever week post birthing checkup. So far the little thing is asleep.


Speaking of babies at what age do humans stop grunting when they poop? This little thing grunts like a champ at every poop.


G-Men signed Cruz to an extension. All I know is that he leads the league in offseason commercials, so that is something. That might just be here though because Time Warner commercials are on every fourth commercial.


Some Brewer caught the ball. Big news.


I still am 100% that Silva lost his UFC belt on purpose. I just wonder now who knew he was going to do it beforehand. I'd like to think only his camp. Silva lost the Eye of the Tiger. If he fights again for the belt and tries he will steamroll the Weidman kid. Even if it is 3 years from now and Silva is 41 or whatever. I really dislike Silva but he is about a thousand times better than any other middle weight out there.


Larry Bird thinks Garnett and Pierce have plenty left. Too bad they are playing for a dude with no coaching experience who relies on Doogie Howser to show him the ropes.


It doesn't sound like this is a real possibility but what happens if Aaron Hernandez is cleared of charges and it turns out that there is a good story behind his actions? That'd be an interesting day in Patriot-ville.


I don't like it when on PTI if the hosts know barely anything about the topic or question they just focus on the 1 fact they do know and talk about that fact even if it doesn't have anything to do with the question. Yesterday they talked UFC and the question was about Silva being a chump and Wilbon just talked about how the UFC won't let ESPN show the actual knock-out and how lame that is.....that has nothing to do with Silva save for the fact that he was the one that got KOed.


FYI the Pirates swoon has started early. I think they just lost a series to the Cubs and are probably going to be swept in a mini series by the As too. #itwasagoodrunseeyounextseason


Kaepernick should know better than to wear a hat for another team. It isn't a big deal, but he has to know that the media is going to be all over it. I am pretty sure he is borderline retarded.


Yahoo! has a 20 minute workout that does wonders....duh, any high octane 20 minute workout will do wonders. If you just start running as fast as you can for 20 minutes it will be a great workout. Just go balls out for 20 minutes jump roping and it will be a good workout. 20 minutes of pushups at full speed? Yep, good workout.


OK, time to go. Have a good day people.

Monday, July 08, 2013

Friday, July 05, 2013

Post Holiday Hangover

Lucky for me, I don't often get hangovers. Even after excessive drinking.

Anyone stuck working today? Even I have the day off, which is saying something!

I don't have too much to talk about other than Tyler Seguin getting traded, since you all hate hockey. So here's a video by The Black Keys.

Wednesday, July 03, 2013

3rd of July

Aaron Hernandez is being investigated for every unsolved shooting incident in America in the past 2 years. Maybe they should ask him if he knows where Jimmy Hoffa is buried.

Hey Papelbon...STFU, nobody cares about you.


Enjoy the fireworks and the revelry tomorrow.

Tuesday, July 02, 2013

Tuesday

Not much to talk about so I will make this short.


New Word

If there isn't already word for this then I think we should make one. I get tired of my friends calling me "uncle" to their kids. I am not their uncle. Cmtem will introduce some friends to bgtem as Aunt or Uncle when they aren't really her Aunt or Uncle. We need a word for good friend of the family. I don't want to introduce them to the kid as "good friend of the family" so and so. So, let's make up a word for this. I don't have any good suggestions.


Geno Smith

I think some sports writers owe the kid a little bit of an apology. Lots of sports writers were all over his case for dumping his management and going with Jay Z. I think he was the 1st guy to go with Jay Z. Now Jay Z has Durant and I believe a couple other mega stars. If these big names are jumping ship to Jay Z then you gotta give Geno some love for jumping on the bandwagon first.



Baby

The baby pooped on me today. Gross.



Plumber

Called a plumber for some basic leaking pipes. It makes me feel like less of a man. I think I could have fixed it on my own, but then again I might have somehow flooded the house. I don't mind messing with electricity, but plumbing scares me. I think what this guy is fixing is day 1 of plumbing school.


Family Feud

When did this become a show for just black people?




Monday, July 01, 2013

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino