Friday, June 28, 2013

Do you feel in charge?

Last day of posting for two weeks.  So no gems for awhile.  Also find someone else to post the next two fridays because I don't even turn on the TV when away let alone a computer.

Starting my Mandatory Time Away vacation.  2 weeks.  Will be vacationing local for a week just hanging around then to Ocean City, Maryland the second week.

Things I like to do at Ocean City are:
Eat
Lounge
Lay down
Drink adult beverages
Sleep past 6:30am

Things I do in Ocean City that I can't do anywhere else (unless I go where these things are, which I wouldn't) :
Get donuts at the Fractured Prune
Get Boardwalk fries
Get a fried Snicker bar
Get Kohr's soft serve
Eat breakfast at the Dough Roller
Eat crabs at Sneaky Pete's and/or Higgins
Sunset dining on the Bay at Macky's
Pretend I will go parasailing, never sign up to go parasailing
Get wrecked at the pool bar on rum runners
Clear my mind on the balcony in my room when everyone is asleep with a cooler of beer and the ocean breeze

Pretty much everyones go to vacation moves I figure.

What's going on in baseball?  Is Mike Trout still better than Mickey Mantle?

It's not only the green M&M's that make me horny, it's all of them.

I'm on a burger kick.  Very dangerous.

Piece.

Thursday, June 27, 2013

Post Title

Finding out the gender of the kid yesterday was pretty awesome! We have never officially announced anything on FB...might post something today. Neither one of us do much with FB.

Why is Doc Rivers holding a jersey in that pic with the Clippers? Is he player/coach? He should be holding a tie or something like that.

Another IRS official takes the 5th...nice.

I don't have much to post about today...TPS sucks!

Go!

Wednesday, June 26, 2013

SHAW-shank redemption

Brian Shaw is the nuggets new head coach. He's the guy I wanted from the day they fired furious George.  Now if they only win 35 games next year, i'll feel like an idiot, but I always liked Brian Shaw as a player, and he should be a pretty well rounded coach.   Not many guys can say they played for the likes of Red Auerbach (GM) and Phil Jackson, so he's had some pretty interesting influences.

Got back late last night from the trip to Northern California.  It was a good trip.  Spent one day in Napa, which is always fun.   Rained the last 2 days we were there which bummed out the kids, not as much fun sitting around in the house.  It tortured my kids to be able to see the pool but not get in it.

Flight home was good, the Rockies AAA team was on our flight, headed back from sacramento as well.  Funny to see the guys who've made a lot of money in MLB, true millionaires, flying Southwest with the common folk.  Jeff Francis and Aaron Cook were there.  Cmblue sat next to some dude who won't ever play in the big leagues.  Doblue 2, was flirting (yes, she's 3) with Drew Pomeranz, he's the rockies "future ace", although the two times he's been up the last 2 years haven't been awesome.  He had a super hot girlfriend with him though, chicks know where the money is.

I'm ready for the Boston PD to either arrest Hernandez, or move on.  Everything around this whole thing seems super shady to me, and Johnny Cochrane is dead, or is he?  I think he is?  Who knows.

Tem was complaining yesterday about the slowest time in sports, but Wimbledon has started, so that should keep us busy for the next 2 weeks.  Always pissed me off that the brits had that stupid championship run during the 4th of july.  And then the british open (ahem, open championship /mize), comes right after that, and then Training Camp starts.  So we'll have plenty to talk about.

Congrats on new job keith. Good to see you got a new role, and more responsibility, but they won't increase your pay for a while. Don't want you to get everything at once, gotta keep you humble.  They may let you start ordering uniforms next too.

Congrats on selling your 2nd home jug.  I guess the furloughs have gotten bad when our government employees are having to sell their 2nd homes, what has the world come to. 

Congrats on graduating kindergarten doep. Now you only have 12 more graduations to go before you've had as many as dad.

Congrats on being an uncle meiz.  If only you were as cool as uncle drew.

Congrats on having a kid now Tem.  It feels really special, until you think about the fact that there are like a billion kids born each year.  Although apparently the world's population is shrinking for the first time in recorded history.  Or maybe that was just the US population, which doesn't make sense that the US population would be shrinking because all the people who just move here randomly.  I'm looking at you spiff.

Three day work week this week, then 3 day week next week.  That's the cat's meow.





Tuesday, June 25, 2013

And the shittiest sports time begins

Well now is officially the shittiest time of the year for sports. It is the middle of the year baseball and ummm, ummm, well the NBA draft is this week. I think soccer is playing? No? Yes? WNBA is still rocking those day games. Yeah, it is a shitty time of the year for sports.

NHL

Well the Bruins used up all their D against the Pens. Either that or the Pens are really soft and the Blackhawks aren't. Speaking of Blackhawks is that a real bird? Is there a Black Hawk? I know there is a Chicken Hawk, but I don't know if a Black Hawk is a real thing. Is it some disguised Indian name? Or did someone just decide that they liked Crows, but Crows is a shitty mascot so they changed it to Blackhawk?


MLB

Pirates looking OK so far. Too streaky of a hitting team though. Soon all the bats will be cold. It'll be a sad day in Mudville then.


UFC

If I was a UFC fighter my nickname would be Badlands. Badlands is a great nickname. My walking in music would be Ground Control to Major Tom. Well that isn't the song;s real name, it is Space Oddity, but not many people know that. I bet you all did though. Anyway, what would your nickname and walk in music be and why??!?!@?!?!?!


Rich People

Rich people spend money like it is their job. I don't even understand how they accumulated any wealth in the first place. They just spend every penny they earn. Fuck that, they spend 125% of every penny they earn. How is this sustainable? I need Dr. Sheldon Cooper in here to figure this out.

Tennis

Nadal lost. I watched the end of the match. I was impressed with how he lost. He was pretty cool about it. He was bummed out, but he didn't throw a fit or anything. He seems like an OK guy.


Sandra Bullock

She seems like a really cool chick. I'd like to hang out with her. Have a beer or whatever.

Friday, June 21, 2013

Unit. Core. God. Country.

Won't be around today.  They have graduation ceremonies for Kindgarten now. 
They call it Step Up Ceremony.  Cute.

http://www.tmz.com/2013/06/19/kate-upton-topless-video-boobs/

Good Finals.  Maybe great.

Live thoughts.

I see Ginobili found his way to the arena for Game 7. 
Then went home in the 4th quarter?  Then came back *ya huge 3*
I think that hamstring really bothered Parker.
Wade is always shaken up.
I don't care how many threes this nigga hit he is terrible. (Danny Green)
Parker, Leonard, Dunc, Manu, Neal should be the rotation.
Bosh is such a soft cock.  What a noodle.
Best thing about the Spurs is no matter what just happened on the other side of the floor (like a dagger three that creates an explosion in the arena) they just go down and execute on the other end of the floor.  Been great to watch them.
Fucking Battier.
Oh well.
Kawhai Leonard.  ONIONS!
Danny Green is terrible.
Bad shot.  Parker should have drove the basket there.
Duncan gonna be thinking about that one for a long time.


Thursday, June 20, 2013

2-2

Chael Sonnen doesn't like LeBron James...he was asked who would win a fight between he and LeBron...

B/R: You versus LeBron James at UFC 200. Who wins the fight, and how?

CS: He’d run away faster than his hairline. His hair went North, his talents went South, and his mother went West.

...thought that was funny.

IRS employees getting about 70 million in bonuses...Obama family traveling to Africa with a cost of 100 million; its cool, its cool, I don't mind losing 20% of my pay for 3 months because the budget is so tight. Woe is right, we just don't have high morale around the office these days. Woe!

We find out the gender of our kid next Wednesday...at least what they think they see on the ultrasound...suite! My brother said that before you have the kid you can't picture your life with a kid, then once the kid is here you can't picture your life without one. That true dads? Can't wait!

That's all I have...go!

Wednesday, June 19, 2013

2nd guesses

You can second guess all of pops moves at the end.  In the end, kawhi leonard went all Nick Anderson and missed a clutch freethrow that would have iced the game, that's not on Pop.  Ray Allen hit a huge clutch shot, again, not on Pop.  Players make plays and the Miami Heat made more plays (or really Ray Allen, not the Heat team) when the plays needed to be made.

Devastating?  Ask the Texas Rangers how it feels to be one inch away from a championship.  Or the 86 Red sawks.

I thoroughly expect the Heat to come out and clobber the spurs on Thursday.  Fuck tem for buying a spurs t-shirt yesterday.

Has anyone heard from H?  A man found dead in N.Attelboro, and an NFL players suspected to be involved.  I don't think H was murdered but was he an accomplice?

Vacation starts tomorrow.  Going to God's country (Napa).  Kids will spend a couple days with the grandparents, so they won't be pains in my asses.

And that's all

Tuesday, June 18, 2013

Baby Brain

I think this baby stoled* some of my brain power. I can't believe I forgot it was tuesday. No worries though, because I can type fast. I am like the secretary chick, except good at typing. All joking aside, our secretary chick is terrible. She is getting fired as soon as Blue gets on a plane and makes it to Temhio.


Old Man Strength

My theory on this is that you get it by lifting up kids. At first you are doing lots of reps with a light kid. Then later on it is less reps, but the kid is heavier. Because they squirm like a mother fuck you strengthen all sorts of random muscles. That way once you have like a 8yr old and probably a 4yr old you can go to the gym and bench way more than someone who hasn't worked out in years should have been able to. So pretty soon LP and Blue will be rocking old man strength. TP had it already and may have lost it. He can probably opine as to whether or not it goes away.


Mitts

Nobody chokes quite like Mitts. He invents new ways to do it. Then he gets like a million dollars in prize money for choking, so whatever he is still loaded.


NHL

I am going to test the strength of my jinx power by ordering a Bruins shirt. Unless H pays me $50. If H pays me then I will instead buy a Blackhawks shirt. Unless Jug pays me more than $50. In fact, just auction this shit off. I should Ebay this. The highest bidder chooses what shirt I buy and then basically what team gets the fuck jinxed out of it.


Star Wars

Why didn't the Imperials just blow up the planet that the moon with the rebel base was orbiting around? It would have saved them like 20 valuable minutes. Rebellion crushed. I mean, without the planet that moon is just going to spin away, all sorts of shit would have been fucked up. I want to rewrite and remake a bunch of movies where the bad guys aren't stupid and they win by doing things anyone would think of. Speaking of that...


Movie Franchise Idea

Base the Franchise on the villan. The villan wins each time. Do a back story on a new hero, build up the hero and then have him lose to the villan. You can slowly build the villan's story. Maybe in the third one he can turn good if you want, or maybe he just conquers Earth. Either way, it is about time the bad guys in movies won and got some common fucking sense.


Facebook Stock

The intrawebs tolt* me to buy Facebook stock and that Yoga pants company stock. Is this a good idea?


MLB

About 20 days or so until I have to take off my Pirates hat in shame again. The slide is coming. Usually after the All Star break, so I still have some time to rock the P.

CB

I don't watch college baseball. I don't understand why they don't just jack homeruns all the time. It is aluminum bats for goodness sake. Scores should be like 432 to 311 or something comical like that. Games should take days to play. Pitchers should just throw underhand to save their arms.

I do like watching a bit of the chick's college world series though. I like playing where is the hot girl, because there is one on every teams. I also like it when the game is 2 to 1 but every single person on each team batted over .400 for the year. Some chicks are batting .500 but these ending games are pitchers duels. What the fuck? Is there only like 2 good pitchers in the whole country? Did these girls win games 432 to 311 early in the season and go 50 for 50 in a game??


Mailbox

My work mailbox is filled. Damn.

Monday, June 17, 2013

Walkoff Guillotine Choke

against Jon Fitch no less, shit is awesome

I mean look at this pic:

UFC 161 sucked

dat touch

didn't even notice battier at first

more bball

Friday, June 14, 2013

Now that's how you supposed to drive! From now on that's how you drive!

I like corn muffins.

Was thinking if Gruden broke down tape from all our job performances how funny of a parody that could end up being:

Me

Gruden : Let's look at this here how you handled this situation.  So the auditor asks for this date and you auduble!  You give them another date.  Talk to me about audibles.  Talk to me about changing the game plan.  Does your boss allow you to audible like that?  Talk about that trust factor and what made you change the date here.  What told you ::hands up in the air::  :: wide grin:: WHAT TOLD YOU TO CHANGE THAT DATE?

Meiz

Let's talk about adversity for a minute.  How do you handle adversity?  Hey, hey one day you might be asked to become supervisor right?  RIGHT?  ::wide grin::  We talk about attributes we talk about making the right decision we talk about adversity.  Thsi truck driver has been giving you crap all day, he's late, he's obnoxious, he smells like hot garbage and salami and yet you stone him man.  YOU STONE HIM.  You stand up to adversity and you knocked it down.  You don't care, you aint the reason this truck dirver is late and needs you to log in the product immediately.  Domination right there.  Well done.

TP

I mean there is nothing I love more than this play right here.  What do you call this play?  Taking the blueprint and applying it.  Winning.  We talk about winning right?  What kind of person are you.  Are you a winner Todd?  You got this blueprint and you say to the muncipality of the town, I'm gonna ram this blueprint down your throat.  AND THEN YOU DO IT.  Brilliant man.  ::staring at the tape with a wide grin::

Keef

When we talk about communication why do you think that is important?  You got the wireless headset on here - what's going through your mind on this phone call right now.  Is someone injured?  I mean that is about as well of a conversation I've seen in a long time.  That's that Sun Devil in you isn't it.  I mean it's 112 degrees and you have the wherewithall to reject this claim.  Outstanding young man.  OUTSTANDING.

Blue

Accountability.  Coaches say that all the time right.  How do you make someone accountable.  Not easy right?  Not easy?  But you are applying it here.  I mean you are in this guys face.  And bam, he's gone.  I mean look at you go here ::rewinding tape of blue firing some poor soul::  You are holding him accountable for his actions aren't you.  Just awesome man.  THAT IS JUST AWESOME.  I mean this guy has no clue and you are just ripping his legs apart.  Killer.  What instinct.

Tem

That head is constantly working isn't it.  I saw your combine numbers, you added up a balance sheet in 4.3 seconds!  Unreal man.  I couldn't do that ::laughing loudly:: I mean I couldn't add 2+2 in 4.3 seconds.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  Whata gift.  You are gifted. I mean I can't wait to get you out there and work you out.  Excited.

Aitch

Smooth man.  That's all I can say.  The way you used the exit ramp on this play right here, without even allowing your passenger to feel that crack in the road was just masterpiece theater.  I can watch you drive the lanes all day man.  But this one ::shows tape of aitch sleeping outside a hotel::  I mean what is going on here.  Looks like you fell asleep at the wheel ::wide grin::  HAHAHAHAHA.  You did didn't you.  I mean this is not good here.  YOU GOTTA BE ALERT ::waving hands, eyes bulging:: HELLO.  EARTH TO MIKE.  You gotta be kidding me man.  I would bench you for weeks if you did that on my team.  You learn a lesson from this though didn't you.  I know you did.  I know.  You know how I know.  Smooth man.  Real smooth.  I'm gonna call you Smooth Mike from now on.  How bout that?  ::eyes bulging::

Jug

Air Force.  HAHAHA. ::salutes for like 5 minutes::  You're a proud guy aren't ya.  Do you hate Navy?  Cmon you can tell chucky.  You hate them right?  Is it like Bears Packers or Skins Cowboys.  You can tell me.  I see you want to shake your head yes.  You hate them.

Wednesday, June 12, 2013

Amazeballs

Gary Neal had the game of his life.  Lebron, did not.  Since the heat were wearing their red jerseys, there were times I was wondering if Lebron was looking around trying to find Anderson Varajeao and Mo Williams.  I also wondered if maybe Tony Parker got caught having sex with Lebron's mom, because that's how the boy looked.

Look it's one game.  But as Doug Collins said this morning on Mike and Mike, ain't no way Michael is letting that happen.  At one point I thought Lebron was going to do the same thing, at the end of the third quarter he had 9 straight points, and I thought maybe he was going to MJ his way back into the game, and then it's like he just lost interest.

I always liked Jeff Van Gundy.  Dude is hilarious.  Made a comment last night about now, in the NBA if you're a coach and you win, you still get fired. Vinny, Hollins, Furious George all led their teams to franchise record wins last season, and all got let go.  Granted, other than George, the other two just didn't have their contracts renewed, and George only had one year left.  But JVG made a good point, when did the NBA become a ruthless NFL like league in regards to their coaches?

Ever wonder if these Cuban defectors like Puig don't realize that what they're doing is a big deal.  Like if there are tons of guys playing in Cuba hitting HRs like every 4 at bats, so they're used to it.  Or if they see such better pitching in the Cuban league that it's like moving down to AAA when they get to MLB?  Of course I say that, and in a month, pitchers will have found the hole in Puig's swing and he'll be hitting .205 with 84 k's. 

ESPN was doing a poll of the top 10 best 1-2 punch (hitters) in MLB right now.  Guys like Pujols/Hamilton or Prince/Miggy...etc.  You know who didn't even make the top 10?  Cargo/Tulo.  They're only 2nd and 3rd in the NL in HRs, Tulo leads the NL in avg, and they're both tied for 3rd in the NL in RsBI.  Rockies get no love. 

Monday, June 10, 2013

Monday

only KO of the card I think

Thiago Splitter? More like Thiago Bed Shitter, amirite guys?

dem tits pic

dem tits gif

Friday, June 07, 2013

I like these quiet little moments before the storm. It reminds me of Beethoven.

Is it really surprising to people that the goverment is phone tapping us?  Thought that was standard.  Give it a rest no one gives a shit about your mundane conversations and it's not like people actually listen to them anyway.  All that shit is dropped into a computer program and the program sorts out anything they should be concerned about.  Patriot Act motherfucker.  Shits been going on since 01' fools.

Lonely Island is hilarity

god damn korean dry cleaner stealing my brass collar stays, fucking whore

I think the best frozen ice treat out there is the classic Haagen Dazs chocolate covered vanilla ice cream stick the one covered in the peanuts.  Basically a gussied up king cone on a stick minus the cone obviously.  I have been craving the WWF old school ice cream treats for some time now, still unavailable at the moment it seems as if they are extinct.  I see that's an agnle that Punk is playing.....interesting.

This may be incredibly dumb of me but i refuse to force my kid to wear a bike helmet.  Refuse.

What happened to sundress month?  Did I miss that?

Thursday, June 06, 2013

summer time

Baby update...we had another appointment yesterday and the heart is still beating like a champ at 156 bpm...always good to hear. We have an appointment for an ultrasound on June 26 to find out the gender.

Its summer time, not officially yet, but its hot as hell here so its basically summer. Do you have any cool plans this summer? cmjug and I are heading to Disney World next week...its her favorite place to go on vacation and our last major trip before the kid arrives. We're driving there too. We also have a trip over the July 6th weekend to the hill country north of San Antonio to see my friends get married. Good times!

That's all I got...go!

Wednesday, June 05, 2013

#BLOCKED

My twitter feed has been a lot lighter lately.  I realized I haven't been getting a bunch of nonsense from a person who I used to follow.  Come to find out said, person blocked me.  This person blocked me because I called him out for following Amanda Bynes on twitter.  I wasn't saying there was anything wrong with that, but he got his panties in a bunch, and i'm sure didn't want all his twat friends to see him get owned.  So he blocked me.  Whatever will I do?  I guess i'll have to get my shitty rap music info from somewhere else. Dude, you're 30 something years old, fucking grow up.  He was called a bitch, well quit acting like a bitch all the time.  Jesus.  He's got issues, maybe he should see a therapist.  He deletes people's blog posts because he doesn't agree with them, who the fuck does that?  He changes the rules to the fantasy leagues that he is commish of, mid-season, without consulting anyone else in the league.  That's some highschool bullshit right there.  I know the highschool years were the best of his life, but it's time to move on son.  I tell you this out of love, not hate.

end temrant

PEDs in baseball, who cares anymore.  We know that Braun used and got off on a technicality.  We know that A-rod has been using.  I say, who gives a shit, as long as it's basically controlled to the point where baseball isn't a video game.  HOF voters are going to have to get over the whole PED thing, or nobody else is going into the hall but Jeter and Griffey, and then they should just close the doors.

Heat/Spurs should be a good series.  Team vs Best Player on the planet.  A lot of pressure on Lebron...MJ never lost in the playoffs in his prime.  Granted he took 2 years off for a gambling suspension, but other than that he was unstoppable.  Lebron has that gear that MJ had, the "there's no effing way we're losing this game" gear, but for whatever reason, he doesn't always play in that gear.  Another title for Duncan and he may go down as the 2nd best center of all time, maybe 3rd, maybe 4th...shit I don't know.  But he's might be the closest thing to Bill Russell in our lifetime.

speaking of twitter, I still enjoy that Rev sends stuff out to el tardo. 



Tuesday, June 04, 2013

Go Heat

I'm going to buy a Heat T-shirt....that will guarantee a Spurs title.

Had a baby. She has lots of hair. I'd post a picture but Meiz would quit.

Get to go home today. Have to cut the grass. I think I'll have the baby do it. About time she starts pulling her weight.

Had very few hot nurses this weekend. Two cute ish married nurses, 1 hot young nurse and about 15 not hot nurses.

Awesome wife seems to let me sleep during the night. Baby is a decent sleeper so far. I guess that is going to change.

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino