Friday, March 29, 2013

Yo, you got the juice now, man.

Nationals
Reds
Dodgers
Braves (WC)

Jays
Tigers
Angels
Indians (WC)

Dodgers win pennant.  Tigers win pennant.

Tigers finally win World Series.

Football preview next.

===========================================

#1 cause of death in America of black males age 15-34, again AGE 15-34!!!!! is other black men shooting them with a gun. 

Just need to throw that out there, sick and tired of people acting like black people don't suck sometimes.  Like we have a stop and frisk policy for this very reason and yes it's borderline unconstitutional but the beaurocrats don't just draw this shit up out of nowhere they base it on statistics.

When will we be able to honestly talk about race?  Never?
White people are ok saying some white people suck.

I recall during the og Obama campaign he was talking about kids with no daddies and the stat is like 70% higher in black communities than white and he actually noted that and Jesse Jackson got all hot about it like hey man don't talk about the negro like that even though O B is half negro.  They can't even handle it.  they can't even handle crticism within thier own race.

I have no idea why I'm talking about this.

Might as well go full tilt.

fuck it gays if you want to get married by all means get married.....no sweat off my sac... bethca the divorce rate goes up, they think marriage is bliss or something?
(just dont be buttfucking in the streets bro)

Fuck all that shit anyway who has time to be worried about the faggots next store.  Mad busy yo.

Fucking April already.

Listen = Silent

MIND BLOWN.

Enjoy Peter Cottontail motherfuckers.  Jesus loves you even though you don't love him back.

PEEPS.

Thursday, March 28, 2013

Los Bulls!!!!

The streak is over! I hear them saying "we never talked about the streak" in their interviews...yeah, kind of like the media. I didn't watch the game, but around 10 I heard my phone text message alert go off a few times, so I figured it was good news.

Speaking of good news, cmjug is pregnant. About seven weeks now, still way early, so I'm still pretty nervous. Shit just got real! No FB posts on this please, we haven't told many people.

That's all I got...GO!

Wednesday, March 27, 2013

#Winning



Tiger Woo is the Charlie Sheen of Golf.

Roughly 10 games left in the NBA regular season. Then 3 months of playoffs..."CAN'T WAIT"

Manti Te'0 is still slow. If drafted in the 1st round, (AHIIK) he would be the slowest linebacker taken in the 1st round in the last 4 years...even slower than Courtney Upshaw who moves like he's in quicksand.

So the city of Sacramento really wants to keep the Kings. I get it. I'm from there, I still have family there. I loved the kings when I lived there, the Mitch Richmond days. I don't really want them to move, but i'm torn. I think Seattle got a raw deal, and Sacramento really isn't a big enough market to be an NBA city. But...they know people iwth deep pockets. It should be interesting. The family I have in Sac-town, really couldn't care less if the Kings left.

I watch too much HGTV. They have some shows on there that just hook me in and make me want to be in real estate. But real estate sucks.

Supreme Court alledgedly has a sense of humor. Who knew? They get to decide something or the other about gay marriages. I say, who gives a shit, it's not like traditional marriage has been that successful lately.

I think it would be pretty suite to be a supreme court justice. you can just say shit and nobody can call you on it.

I hope Justin Bieber has an MC Hammer type fall from grace.

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Pooptastic

Bud Light Commercial

I find the girl in it strangely attractive. I usually dislike short hair and bug eyes, but she still looked good. I am confused. Speaking of bug eyes, a girl was at the bar on Friday with bug eyes, I don't know if Keith was still there or not. Anyway, her husband had bug eyes too. Their kid will have big bug eyes. Hopefully no anntennae. Too many n's.


Heat

I so don't care about the Heat streak. I hope they lose at Chicago. When is Rose coming back? I wonder how many times a day that gets asked by Chicago fans. I think seven per fan.


NCAA

In the majority of my brackets I picked Florida Gulf coast to beat G'town. I also picked Wichita State to beat Gonzaga. Everything else I basically got wrong. So I have 2 plusses and about 100 minuses. I am grading out at a D-. At least this year I was expected to pick horribly, other years I expected more. Not this year. I had low expectations and I didn't exceed them.


Mark Titus

Kid is on Grantland. Total OSU homer. Not a terrible writer. Honestly reminds me of a young sports guy. Although I am still unsure whether he is retarded enough to be a sports guy. He dropped a Futurama reference in his last article. I don't know if it is on purpose or not. It was old school Futurama too, not the newer episodes....when do new ones start again?


Cartoons

Cartoons I watch in no particular order.....Simpsons, Archer, Family Guy, American Dad, Futurama and sometimes the Cleveland show. I don't watch South Park because it must be on at a wierd time or something.


Sun Belt

Sun Belts adds two teams. It might get an auto bid over the Big East...oh wait, playoffs soon baby! I can't wait for the argument over which team got fucked out of that 4th spot.


NASCAR

Tony Stewart says they should let the guys fight like hockey and it just ends when someone goes to the ground. Umm, YES! Great idea. Anyone who thinks NASCAR doesn't need drama or fights or wrecks to make it interesting is just kidding themselves. It seriously is cars going in a circle. One of the things that makes it watchable is when two drivers fight after the race and then race next to each other the next race. You can seriously watch like 10 laps of two guys that hate each other go in circles and it is entertaining.


Landscape

Cmtem says we need to have someone do landscaping this spring because she can't. So I have to meet the landscape guy to get a quote...I have no idea why he needs to come here. Can't I just tell him how many feet I want mulched? Now I have to sit here and wait for him to show up and show him the 75 feet I want mulched. Some is on a downhill, I wonder if that increases the price...Maybe he will say it is an uphill and charge more? Crafty landscapers. I didn't brush up on any Spanish either, so this might be a huge clusterfuck.




Monday, March 25, 2013

Monday

Some tourney hilarity:


In a 20$ per person pool, but haven't watched one game, only seen highlights/following twitter this year, seems like more good/close ones than usual? Have the U winning it all based on nothing. Florida Gulf Coast looks fun to watch from the highlights, when do you see this in college bball?

I wouldn't be the one to ask since I usually only watch the tourney but damn.

Friday, March 22, 2013

Think you're gonna live long enough to spend all that money you fucking hump

Forgot to tell you guys the last wedding I worked last Friday the groom surprised the bride with a live performance from the one hit wonder freestyle phenomenon George Lamond.  Bad to the Heart was sung loudly and freestylely*.  Was pretty cool I guess.  Even though that music is awful.  I'd link the video but cannot due to blogger compability issues with IE at work.

Never underestimate how dumb people really can act.  Tell me why we need a sign above all the toasters in the cafeteria that states "Do Not Toast Buttered Bread".  I half expect there to be a tard* toasting a bagel with cream cheese.  Brick Tamlin.

Twitter is pretty out of control these two days.

I called Harvard.

I miss betting.

I don't miss paying the book.

I got that good kush and alcohol.  I got some down bitches I can call.

Funny how Swedish House Mafia went pop.


Thursday, March 21, 2013

Its March Madness Asshole!

I wish I had taken some time off today to go and watch some games. I do have a TV in my office, so I'll be able to have a few games on in the background. I won some money in a bracket challenge last year. I have Duke winning it this year, but I'll probably end up changing that. I filled out my bracket in about 5 minutes last night before I went to bed.

Furlough update: We're supposed to get our 30 day notification sometime in within the next week if we're going to be furloughed. If we are and the govt can't figure out what to do, then its supposed to last until the end of the fiscal year. We had a meeting yesterday to address any questions we have, and those questions were met with a lot of "I don't knows" from management. cmjug works too, so we'll be fine. We just have to watch out spending. However I have some friends who may get hit pretty hard if we get cut back. Sucks. "Make it hurt", they said. Dicks

The Urlacher era is done in Chicago...unsuite. He is done though. He'll get signed somewhere else for a year or two, but the Bears are better off spending their money elseware. I like they moves they have made so far.

Heatle streak is really impressive. I don't like how sports talk people basically give them the next 7-8 games as if there is no way they can lose.

Remember when we were kids and had to sell stuff for school...we went door to door selling stuff. Now the kids bring home the candy and their parents bring it to work. The worse* is the girl scout cookie ambush at stores. I usually buy, but that stuff adds up between nephews and of course my niece, and my friend's kids.

Remember when no one on LOV had kids accept* TP?

Go!

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

It's Wednesday Asshole

Nuggets have now won 13 straight. I know that's not 23 like the Heat, but they've beaten some good teams. We shall see if they can play at a high level come playoff time.

The some guy who was a big deal 200 years ago school beat Kentucky. Ashley Judd is probably inconsolable. Maybe they should fire Calipari. Tubby Smith, where have you gone. In a year where the team was so awful, it stings the Kentucky blue that Louisville is the overall #1 seed.

While reading up on this Robert Morris guy, I found out that there used to be such a thing as Debtor's Prison. If you had unpaid debt that you couldn't repay, basically filing bankruptcy, you had to go to prison for a duration. Dude spent 3 years in prison. I bet if we had that today, people might think twice about buying that house that they can't afford, or putting that TV on their AMEX.

Did anyone see this video? The first minute is good, after that not much to see here



Mark Cuban thinks that Dirk still has 3 years left of "elite" status. Elite doesn't miss the playoffs buddy. And yes, i'm looking at you too Kobe beef. Dirk is washed up, and Cubes just can't handle it. Maybe he should go on Shark Tank to see if he can't find a time masheen.

NCAA tourney started last night, but that shit doesn't count. WHO YA GOT??????

I made a group for LoV on yahoo password is tits
Winner gets $1,000 /lp

I think that is all. Marry on.




Tuesday, March 19, 2013

It's Tuesday Asshole

Heat Streak

Haha nobody cares. It is NCAAA tourney time! Don't bore me with your 20 whatever game win streak. I want to know who is going to win 6 straight or whatever (I guess a play in team would be 7) and be the CHAMP. I really have no idea. One minute I say Louisville, the I think IU, then I think Duke, then I think IU again. I can guarantee this, it won't be Michigan.

Sooooo....congrats Michigan.


Tiger/Vonn

I am not sure what ever happened to the whole Tiger and Elin were getting back together crap, but Tiger and Vonn are getting it on. It makes sense. He played well for a tourney which means he was banging multiple chicks. I wonder who else other than Vonn he is banging?


Random

Sometimes I mix up Kirstie Alley and Katie Sagal in my head. I have no idea why. I'll just be thinking that Married With Children was awesome and Kirstie was funny on that....then I will say wait, that isn't right and then get the proper name.

WBC

Shouldn't we care more about this?


Direct TV commercial

Anyone else get that Direct TV commercial where the wacky inflatable arm flailing guy rapes that blond chick? That one is on a lot here.


Rape

Speaking of rape, I am actually getting sick of all these groups that are bashing the media for saying things like "the boys were promising football players" or "the girl was drunk." I can't beleive I am defending the media, but these women groups need to back the fuck off. The articles are like 1,000 words and during those 1,000 words the media isn't writing that the girl had it coming to her or that the dudes should be free because they are good at sports, they are just writing some descriptive senteces (facts even?) about the case. The girl was drunk, the girl was underage, she shouldn't have gotten drunk. Saying that doesn't mean that you are implying that it is OK to rape and underage kid, it is just saying that she was underage and drunk. It is actually somewhat important to telling the tale. Saying the boys were good football players just tells you something about the convicted kids. Maybe you want to throw in some more background about the defendants. I am not sure what else they expect the paper to write. These kids were like 17, it isn't like they are accomplished architects or anything. All they have done with their life is school and sports. So back off the media a bit on this one. It seems for once they did decent job of reporting accurate things and a decent job of telling the tale. Of course it is a total one sided tale. It would be really hard to defend those kids, they were 100% in the wrong. Pretty cut and dry case, but don't bomb the media for reporting some supplemental facts. I guess some folks just wanted the whole article to read. "Some boys raped a girl and got convicted."


Wes Welker

I don't care what kind of offer the Pats gave him. He plays for another team now. The Pats went younger it is cool. Wes will catch 80+ balls from Manning, everyone wins.


Derrick Rose

Maybe it is time to start playing. Maybe just a little.

Friday, March 15, 2013

I am not calling him Dad. Not even in a fire!

If America runs on Dunkin' what does the rest of the world run on.  What does Canada run on?  Or since keef tolt* me Canada is actually part of North America do they run on Dunkin' too?

I counted and it's fucking absurd.  I have 39 passwords related to work applications.  Now ask me how come they are different.  I don't know how it got like this.

I wonder what the Pope gave up for lent.  Technically he is allowed to eat meat because he is of senior age and needs nutirents.

I want a Samsung Galaxy.  Convinced it's better than the Iphone. 

A Koala is not a bear.  Got into an argument with someone over this.  Not a bear people. 

Thursday, March 14, 2013

it's thursday asshole

Chiefs release Matt Cassel

Last Updated 10:49 AM, March 14, 2013 EDT

Report: Jets not actively shopping Revis
Kolb’s future still to be determined
Boldin: Ravens are losing the key components of their title run
Schiano on Revis trade: “Everything’s a possibility”
Chiefs should set Cassel free
Titans tried to convince Wes Welker to join them
Nnamdi Asomugha visiting 49ers Thursday
Raiders hosting Terence Newman
Brandon Meriweather takes a pay cut
Rodger Saffold’s agent eases back from talk of trade demand

Wednesday, March 13, 2013

Fee Agency

The Dolphins are trying. Mike Wallace has come a long ways from his 60 minutes days. I like the Ellerbee signing probably more than the Wallace one.

Lots of activity on day 1. Biggest names were the ones who were cut yesterday, just added more options to the Fee Agent class. Nnamdi, Fitzmagic, some other guys. Broncos signed some fool offensive guard...champyunship.

You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?

Dwight came back and dominated Orlando, welcome home.

Big game tonight for the nuggets fans. The prodigal son returns for the first time. Carmelo was hilarious in his interview yesterday. He made mention that it was a "mutual parting of ways". Ummm..the fuck it was, the nuggets wanted you to stay and tried desperately to get you to stay...that's not mutual. Maybe he doesn't know what mutual means, it's not like he went to class at Syracuse.

There's been a lot of talk about whether fans should boo him, or cheer him, or ignore him. Here is my take. I think you cheer him when he's introduced. Then boo him everytime he holds the ball and takes 15 jab steps, and cheer him everytime he misses. I loved him as a player when he was here. I still like him as a player, but like breaking up with the super hot chick who you bent over backwards for because she was so hot, sometimes you're better off without her. You can't appreciate what you have without being able to reflect back, get your manhood back.

To be honest, the guy I miss is JR Smith. I will cheer him tonight, no boos, and Kenyon Martin too, if he gets into the game. But either way, I like my new team with Ty Lawson and Kenneth Faried and Danilo Gallinari and even Javale McGee.

on a side note, fuck Kustos Koufos.

Peyton Manning got $40mm to turn his head and cough yesterday.



Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Tuesday

Big NFL trade news is exciting. Except that I don't think the Bucs are targeting anyone good. They are targeting Revis I guess, but he will cost a lot and I am not sure the injury bug hasn't gotten him. He'd be an upgrade for sure, but I think he costs too much in salary and picks to get him.

WRs are going all over the place. I wonder why Bowe stayed in Kansas City. You'd think SF or SEA or MIA or PIT or NY/NY would have paid big bucks for him. I guess he got a lot in KC, but he could have probably gotten the same if not more somewhere else and perhaps a change of scenery would be good. All I know is that the Alex Smith deal had to been worked out in advance of Bowe staying. There is no way he stays without knowing that Smith was going to be his QB.

Golden Tate is a big loser in this Harvin trade. That is until Harvin gets hurt in week 7.

I am staying home from work today. Not a mental health day though, I actually feel like crud. The worst part of staying at home when I am actually sick is that there is nobody around to help me out. Nothing makes you feel better like getting pampered, but when nobody is around the pampering isn't there. I'm a big baby when I am sick. Maybe all the time, I don't know.

I am super excited for the NCAAs this year. I am expecting lots of good games and upsets. All chalk will win.

I still have a bad feeling that Diaz is going to KO St. Pierre. I think St. Pierre will still be a little rusty and Diaz is in his head. That isn't a good combo. I'd bet $50 on Diaz.

Michael Vick cancelled his book tour due to threats. This begs the question......Vick wrote a book? NFW. Ghostwriter for sure.

I think saturday will be a good day for sports. Conference title games, UFC, should be fun. I might have people over to watch stuff.

That's all I can think to write about.



Monday, March 11, 2013

Monday

Rose cleared to play but not mentally ready to return, then he says he won't return until he can confidently dunk off his left foot, and now he is saying he has hamstring problems and won't return until that's resolved.

Lakers in that 8th spot!!!

Brutal but hilarity, wish the video was longer for some reaction footage

Friday, March 08, 2013

Only reason you exist out here is cuz a me

You can always tell when chicks got they periods when they take purse to the bathroom.

So Showtime has this show, remember when I said Real Sports on HBO is the bombdizzle? and that it's like 60 min style but on sports topics, well like I said Showtime has this show which they call 60 minutes sports.  And it's exactly the same.  Real Sports is still better cuz it's OG. 

Anyway last night or the night before they had this piece on this idiot european dude who thought he can like dive down to depths of the ocean without head gear or any breathing apparatus and shit even though doctors and scientists said um hey, you know the farther down you go the less chance of you actually surviving and like your head can just explode and he was all like yeah i have this figured out......yeah he went down to like i dont know i wasnt paying attention like 200 feet or something and came up unconscious, he's physically handicap now and talks like he had a stroke

what an idiot.  man i really hate people like that

I LOVE CASH.

Haagen Dazs pints were $2 on sale last week bought 5 of those fuckers.

Vanilla Swiss Almond
Caramel Cone Sundae
Chocolate Chocolate Chip
Cookie Dough
Coffee

Tell me why I want to see that OZ movie.

Cable is more annoying then......................................

Shaq with that whack ass TV show, cmon bro

Amazes me how athletes are so unprepared for life after thier playing careers.

Also NFL has longest off-season right?  I think yes.  If not in Super Bowl you are off, Feb-July (late) min camps don't count.  Just a thought.

You know there is something not right about these gooks.  A part of me thinks they are infiltrating the states at this rapid pace to launch an attack on us one day

Thursday, March 07, 2013

TPS sucks

Busy day.

I hope this post doesn't take too long to load.

Vince Young will be working out at the UT pro day. I thought he was already drafted a few years ago. (S)

Go!

Wednesday, March 06, 2013

Powder Day

Yesterday was a ski day for me. I took the day off and took the family up to the mountains for a day of fun on the slopes. It was both kids first ski lesson, and they had a blast. Couldn't have asked for a more perfect day, not a cloud in the sky, no wind, fresh snow the night before...this is why Colorado is awesome.

on a side note, skiing is outrageously expensive if you're not a local and get a cheap pass. I think the rack rate for a lift ticket was like $114 (honestly nobody really pays this), but still, ridiculous.

9ers are going to get revis because they have like 300 draft picks they can offer up.

I know jug said it the other day, but these are the doldrum days of sports. There really isn't any nfl news to talk about because free agency hasn't started. BAseball is kind of a joke right now, and the NBA just doesn't seem to bring it night in and night out.

Uneducated sports fans are the worse. I don't know how many times in the last few days i've heard "hey, the nuggets are only 1 game back of memphis" Technically, that's correct, but they're 3 back in the loss column, so it's not a true one game spread.

uneducated fan #2: The broncos really need Steven Jackson. For what? to stand on the sideline and watch? Dude is old and used up. He maybe, maybe, has one more good year in him, if he can stay healthy a whole year (which is doubtful).

uneducated fan #3: the rockies have enough offense they can just outscore teams. yeah, baseball doesn't really work that way. If your pitching is awful, then the other team has just as much offense as you do, even if they're the pirates.

Midweek day off is great, tough part is coming back to work, that's the suck.

Tuesday, March 05, 2013

Two State Logon Shall

Let's get right into the topics

Joe Flacco

I don't get why people are making a big deal about his contract. There is about a 0% chance he plays out the whole thing. It is pretty much the same guaranteed money that Brady just got with his extension. The cap hits in those last years will be ridiculous. Unless Flacco becomes the Lebron of the NFL he isn't finishing out this contract without reworking it. It would seem as though anyone with half a brain would know that. Of course media folk are dumber than politicians, or perhaps just barely smarter, either way they are dumb so it doesn't surprise me.


Bad Drivers

It used to be that when I was in the passing lane and got stuck behind someone going about 15mph lower than the speed limit I sure as shit knew it was some old lady. Or an Asian. Sorry Asians. In any case that changed to it was either an old lady, an Asian or someone on their cell phone. That was frustrating because it meant seemingly every day I had to whip around someone on the right because they were going too slow. Now keep in mind I don't do the whip around thing unless you are actually going less than the speed limit or if nobody else is on the road. In morning and afternoon traffic there is always some other cars so the whip around only happens when some asshat is going too slow. Anyway.....now it seems that more often than not it is some old guy driving. That never used to happen (at least on my way into work). Sometimes you'd get stuck behind the 90yr old guy driving but that was not during rush hour and old people used to avoid the highway like the plague. Apparently sometime in the last year we hit the era of old men driving to work in the morning and fucking everything up. I figure they cost me 4 minutes every work day. 4 minutes/day X 5 days/week X 48 weeks/year = 960 minutes a year. That's 16 hours of wasted time caused by old men drivers. Either retire, drive in the slow lane or speed up. Gorram old people.


Will

Talked with cmtem about what to do if I was in some sort of accident and needed life support. I told her that I wanted robot parts. She was not amused, but I am 100% serious. If the doctors say I have no shot at living because my _______ is broke then give me a robotic ________. At least give me a chance. I know this shit exists. Somewhere some scientist guy has a possibly working model of a robotic heart. Give me that heart, let's test this shit out. Robot brain, fire it up. I don't even care if it is a MAC. I'd prefer something Windows based, but beggars can't be choosers. Give me that MAC brain, it won't crash as much, but on the flip side it probably doesn't have the software that allows me to play football or softball.


Commercials

One day I am just going to do a post all on commercials. They don't screen them or something. They always have some glaring error or something that isn't thought through. I bet the Mad Men guys don't make errors like they do today.



Cracked

Been reading a lot of Cracked.com lately. I like that site. Pretty funny stuff. It gets the tem seal of approval, which in the internet world means it is for nerds.


King of the Nerds

Congratulations to that King of the Nerds show. It officially broke the record for most commercials I have seen without ever once having the desire to watch the show. At 2,256 commercials it has taken over the record. Over two thousand commercials and not once have I said to myself "I should watch that."




TCS prize packs should be shipped out next week.

Monday, March 04, 2013

The Axe Murderer!!!

Wanderlei came through baby!!!


Wandy got something for the doubters:

Suitest KO from Saturday:



The end result of that left hand is dat broken jaw:

One more:

dat ass

Friday, March 01, 2013

those are the facts of the case and they are undisputed

Dairy cows are amazing.

Prosecco has really caught on huh.

I have a hard time deciding between my favorite Joe Pesci character.  Vincent LaGuardia Gambini or Nicky Santoro.  When he dies and they show all his movies it's gonna be suite.

What exactly is everyone's take on Bruce Springsteen again?  I mean you  really can't start a fire withouth a spark.  It's true.

Why is Lebron's pre-game dunk routine news on ESPN?  Oh that's right because the media is awful.

Dancing with the Stars would be 1,000% better if after you got voted off.....you die. 

If you don't like a good ol'fashioned cold glass of root beer we can never ever ever be friends.

Altoids are my mint of choice.

And for minty like gum Trident Original always satisifies.

The proof is in the pudding.  What does that even mean?

I drink coffee now.  Whatever.





Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino