Friday, October 25, 2013

El Picks

"Welker had a day off from practice Wednesday. Perhaps he went to the movies. He is in no danger of missing this Sunday's game vs. the Redskins"

Who the fuck writes these lil news bits on yahoo! ffb? Meiz you need to apply for jobs like this.

Your not going to believe this but I want to fuck the shit out of this Thursday night football singing arab chick. Am I welcome to your city bitch? Dick City here I cum.

HAHAHAHAHAHA Nessler opens the broadcast and says welcome to the city by the bay. Isn't that SF? Oakland? It isn't tampa bay even though geographically it's by a bay. Still.

Ron Rivera has great hair.

How many of those pepper honey shrimps do you think Chris Berman can eat? I say 189.

THEY"RE LIZARDS EATING YOUR LEGS


Pix

Dallas +3 over DETROIT
Cincy had no business winning that game but did because, well, The Lions. So fuck it I'm not trusting them against a hot QB. Put last week aside Romo has been fantastic thus far.

KC -7.5 over Brown
Surprised this isn't higher. Suicide pick. If you're thinking they are looking past the Browns maybe but even if they are Jason Campbell, on the road (arrowhead no less) is involved so yeah.

Miami +6.5 over PATS
Pats are just too banged up this weekend and Brady just isn't Brady with all the moving parts on offense.

NEW ORLEANS -11 over Bills
Tough for a good team to keep up with the Saints at home. Bills aren't good.

San Fran -16.5 over JAX
This game is in the City of London. I hope it rains. Thbat shitty ass weather with those shitty ass people sporting shitty ass teeth. Fuck Charles Dickens.

Jets +6.5 over BENGALS
Points here. I actually like Geno Smith. SSHHHH Don't tell my Giant Jet Hating brothers.

OAKLAND +2.5 over Steelers
I like DA RAIDERS for the win here. lil upset special for your muffin

Skins +12.5 over BRONCOS
Purnts. Getting chilly out there Peyton....

Atlanta +2.5 over ARIZONA
It's obvious Carson Palmer will take this team nowhere.

Green Bay-9 over MINNY
Minny is awful and Peterson has a lower leg injury (hockey talk).

Seattle -11 over ST LOO
OOOFF Kellen Clemems oooff.

192 comments:

El Padrino said...

Everybody's welcome to my citttaayy!

El Padrino said...

I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning

H said...

um... Right.

H said...

You do realize that the chances of you staying off that list your entire life are slim and none, right? Once BGEP gets to hike* school and starts having sleepovers, you won't be able to resist doing it saying something inappropriate, you hornball.

H said...

You better hope she ends up with ugly friends or you're screwed

H said...

Federal pound me in the ass prison for El Padrino

H said...

I can't believe it's already late October. This year flew by.

El Padrino said...

stop it aitch im a model citizen

i have incredible control over all my urges

Blue said...

didn't know EP's buddy was so famous

I wonder if there will be a scene in the movie where Wolf does the MCD's challenge

Keef said...

Morning sexy time is the best

Keef said...

Cmk is going out of town this weekend, so morning sexy time was -500

H said...

"Cmk is going out of town this weekend, so morning sexy time was -500"

congrats, sir

H said...

"didn't know EP's buddy was so famous"

a friend of mine is an extra in that movie.

H said...

"i have incredible control over all my urges"

for now

H said...

This guy was the director for my mother's funeral. He seemed normal...

Keef said...

Nice link

H said...

da fuk?

H said...

fixed?

H said...

Fixed

Blue said...

we've all let our dong hang out when we shouldn't have

El Padrino said...

Truer words

ToddPacker said...

1/2 day today. heading to Baltimore for a PJ show this weekend

Keef said...

Are we betting on Cincy/NYJ?

ToddPacker said...

sure. go ahead and give me the name/pic change now

Keef said...

Don't xnij on me

H said...

"we've all let our dong hang out when we shouldn't have"

I suppose...

What Was I Thinking? said...

GEEEENNNNOOOOO

What Was I Thinking? said...

someone just ripped a fart outside of my office.

H said...

wall

The Meiz said...

Lively bunch today

Jugdish said...

im busy WORKING work

What Was I Thinking? said...

I might have just stopped caring.

Keef said...

Wall

The Meiz said...

I'm not drunk, but I'm getting there.

El Padrino said...

Me too
At work

ToddPacker said...

"I'm not drunk, but I'm getting there."

^^^^^^^^^^

ToddPacker said...

drinking vodka tonight

The Meiz said...

What a coincidence!

ToddPacker said...

just bought a pack of smokes.... gonna be a long night

ToddPacker said...

not used to chilly weather. gotta be in the 40s here in Baltimore

Keef said...

Woe

Keef said...

suite deal

The Meiz said...

I can't wait to get rid of that fucking Bengal on fb.

Keef said...

Should have won the bet

The Meiz said...

I got a hot one coming for you, next time you lose a bet with me.

Keef said...

Nice.

Keef said...

Kids are asleep, cmk is gone. Haven't turned on the Xbox in a minute. Might jump on that tonight

ToddPacker said...

vodka is flowing right now.... bar bill is going to be steep

Keef said...

Top shelf?

The Meiz said...

I currently have Bad cranked

Keef said...

Those little cartoon things on FB are dumb

The Meiz said...

Stankonia on deck

ToddPacker said...

kettle one. not sure what shelf that is

The Meiz said...

"Those little cartoon things on FB are dumb"

YES. I have only 1 friend that does that shit, and it's constant. thinking about deleting that motherfucker

ToddPacker said...

PJ part 2 on Fallon tonight. just told the bartender to crank it up on the bar tv

Keef said...

Ketel One is near the top

ToddPacker said...

Baltimore people love their natty bohemian. just told some dude it taste like shit and he wants to fight

ToddPacker said...

Fallon. vedder chills

Keef said...

Putting likes to fight guy in Bmore, disrespecting their beer, is bad news

Keef said...

I'm gonna continue this NCAA season

ToddPacker said...

just gave the bartender $20 to turn the volume all the way up for PJ on Fallon. lightning bolt is a grate song

The Meiz said...

Drunk. Bed soon.

The Meiz said...

Outkast is keeping me alive right now.

ToddPacker said...

bar bill is $220ish. woe

ToddPacker said...

cmtp is currently pissed off at me. more woe

ToddPacker said...

left a $50 tip. cmtp just called me am asshole because I already tipped 20 earlier

ToddPacker said...

going to be a long walk to the hotel

ToddPacker said...

sexy time is zeroe chance

ToddPacker said...

I need to find a Taco Bell

The Meiz said...

Well then.

I'm always open to donations.

Keef said...

I hope that wasnt a reply to the sexy time comment

H said...

I hope TP got a sweet* at the hotel, cuz he's gonna need a couch.

Keef said...

Fucking bullshit. I finish NCAA undefeated and finish 3rd in the BCS to ND and Wava

H said...

the committee is corrupt

What Was I Thinking? said...

Haha. Cant keep wava down. I should play I guess.

Keef said...

We didn't get UFC picks

The Meiz said...

I'm a little tipsy.

kod said...

How bout them Gophers hey?

B10 pretty strong this year (sssssssss)

Keef said...

NELSON!

kod said...

hey there!


fuck, I got a lot of catching up to do here

Jugdish said...

Streak for the cash lines weren't high on the gophers...glad I skipped that one


How goes it kod??

kod said...

hey Jug!

Going alright, thanks! It's been quite the adventure here in 2013

kod said...

missed you guys though; I have facebook stalked however

Keef said...

You didn't go back to guys did you?

Jugdish said...

cool...that was cool article your college had on you...good stuff!

Jugdish said...

 hope that wasnt a reply to the sexy time comment


cracked me up

The Meiz said...

KOD!

The Meiz said...

"hope that wasnt a reply to the sexy time comment"

Referring to Packer tipping SEVENTY FUCKING DOLLARS

kod said...

had some dating adventures; just ended #2 of 2 today


eharmony was a bad choice

Jugdish said...

50 on 220 isn't bad...the other 20 was for his pj chills

Jugdish said...

Question is...how many people for the 220 bar tab?

Jugdish said...

eharmony was a bad choice

Milk was a bad choice! aja...stories?

Keef said...

Shoulda tried j date


S

Jugdish said...

Tp might have used the lobby couch...that would be a good story

Keef said...

Maybe he got his own room

Jugdish said...

Rev found the "hey there", right? Who found beth on the bondage site? Spiff?

Keef said...

I thought spiff found bolth

Keef said...

I just assume spiff finds any skeletons

Jugdish said...

This pj fetish might be cheaper if tp took an loa from his yob and got a position as a roadie.

Keef said...

The pj infatuation is amazing

Jugdish said...

I just assume spiff finds any skeletons


maybe..safe bet

Jugdish said...

The pj infatuation is amazing

borderline sexual...borderline

Keef said...

Ha

Keef said...

I love how one of the main headlines on espn, and every major news site, is that Ortiz is staring at 1B tonight. What's the big deal? It's not like he's the starting pitcher or something.

kod said...

Milk was a bad choice! aja...stories?


not too many good ones, just a couple that might not be so great, but....

1) I dated a law professor in the area for a couple months (yes, she was mid-30s, not looking for older again at this time). I liked her, but it wasn't the right fit.
-she had given me a Roku as a gift when we were dating. A little over a week of ending it, I get an email asking if I can mail back the Roku that "she left at my place". Faaak, made me even more glad that I eneded it. I don't know what annoyed me more, the fact that she wanted it back, or the fact that "she left it" at my place. She could have just said, "could you send the roku I gave you back" I'd roll my eyes at the petty and gladly send it back. The added legal-esque justification for her property right was extra amusing. I'm tempted to take her to Judge Judy on this just for a fun show

kod said...

Since I quit smoking grass this past spring and gave her what I had left, I was also tempted to ask for the 1/8 of really good weed back that I left in her lungs


Keef said...

The added legal-esque justification for her property right was extra amusing.



Yeah it's grate when lawyers talk like that

kod said...

for sure, like I'm an asshole and would refuse to return it or something

lame, but but made me feel even better about ending it

kod said...

the second girl was just too intense, possibly crazy; she was really nice, kind, smart, lots in common. But one of the those girls that you know for a month or so and has already planned out your wedding and wants to know what you meant by harmless comment XXXX

I'm done with eharmony btw

Keef said...

the second girl was just too intense, possibly crazy; she was really nice, kind, smart, lots in common. But one of the those girls that you know for a month or so and has already planned out your wedding and wants to know what you meant by harmless comment XXXX



Csil. Got it

kod said...

"Csil. Got it"


lol (yes, I'm lol guy now)

The Meiz said...

"The pj infatuation is amazing"

It's full-on weird

The Meiz said...

Kod, stop searching. You're wasting so much time doing that.

The Meiz said...

The constant, active search leads to so much disappointment and ensuing emptiness. Just be you, be happy. For fuck's sake, you live in Bemidji, TAKE UP FISHING. Maybe get involved in some small game hunting. You'd likely stumble upon a chick up there that digs that shit.

kod said...

You didn't go back to guys did you?


Fair question; no, haven't experienced that kind of multi-year dry spell yet. Here's to hoping now that I'm done with EH

Keef said...

Just be you, be happy. For fuck's sake, you live in Bemidji, TAKE UP FISHING. Maybe get involved in some small game hunting




So, be you. But be someone else, too.

The Meiz said...

Then again, who am I to say?

The Meiz said...

"So, be you. But be someone else, too."

:grunts:

I just think it's weird to not partake in those activities in that bountiful environment.

kod said...

Kod, stop searching. You're wasting so much time doing that.


^^^^^^^^^^^

Thanks Meiz (ns), just came to the same conclusion recently. So true

kod said...

Then again, who am I to say?



spot on IMO

kod said...

"I just think it's weird to not partake in those activities in that bountiful environment."

probably is, but I'm here for different reasons, and am an indoor cat

Keef said...

I just think it's weird to not partake in those activities in that bountiful environment.


And I just think its weird that a dude would prefer to be single his whole life. To each their ow

NS

Keef said...

own

Keef said...

I like this Intentional Talk show

kod said...

"And I just think its weird that a dude would prefer to be single his whole life."

nah, that's a blessing man, you've found the one, celebrate! When you haven't found that one, single is better than settle

Keef said...

My point was that mize has said he isn't going to get married or have kids. That's what's weird to me. Basically saying, just because he likes the outdoors doesn't mean that you're a kook if you don't

Keef said...

You're a kook for different reason


S

The Meiz said...

"nah, that's a blessing man, you've found the one, celebrate! When you haven't found that one, single is better than settle"

This.

Getting dumped was so much better than settling. I was ready to settle, and I was miserable. You all saw it.

Keef said...

I agree 100% about not settling

The Meiz said...

"My point was that mize has said he isn't going to get married or have kids."

I don't want a family. The happiest couples I know are 3 married couples that are not going to have children. I'm incredibly envious of them for finding each other.

ToddPacker said...

small couch in the hotel room, but I slept in the bed

ToddPacker said...

2 couples at the bar. we had 2 tabs running. not sure what the other tab was

Keef said...

You and cmtp drank $220?

ToddPacker said...

PJ doesn't tour much. when they do I try to see them a few times.

ToddPacker said...

"You and cmtp drank $220?"

I paid for more rounds than the other couple.... my buddy was drinking double jack and cokes. not sure what the prices were

Keef said...

Drinking doubles on the other tab is solid efforting

Keef said...

I gotta remember that trick

The Meiz said...

"Drinking doubles on the other tab is solid efforting"

Coonery.

ToddPacker said...

gonna try and rally the troops for another round of boozing tonight.

Keef said...

That's racist

Keef said...

I just found 2 Coors Lights in the fridge. Minus well drink them

Keef said...

Little funky. Date in them is sept 25

Keef said...

on

The Meiz said...

Those beers are fine

The Meiz said...

I like wava's helmets

The Meiz said...

Going over by my guy EJ's place tonight. Gonna be a wreck.

Keef said...

Those beers are fine



Didn't taste fine

The Meiz said...

I'm sorry to hear that.

Keef said...

I drank one. Trashed the other

H said...

the rare Kod sighting! What up, big guy!

H said...

I agree with Meiz. I stopped actively searching and I'm happier for it. I figure I'll stumble into something eventually, so minus well enjoy the single life.

Keef said...

That Last Vegas movie looks funny

H said...

indeed. I love Morgan Freeman.

Keef said...

I don't like these tOSU helmets

Keef said...

I do like Braxton miller

Keef said...

Wall

Spaceman Spiff said...

O:FB baby!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Keef said...

Fucking cheaters

Keef said...

Golfing time

The Meiz said...

Brady or Dalton?

The Meiz said...

BRADY

H said...

Great start by Brady. ETEO

kod said...

"What up, big guy!"

Hey H! Not much new, although I'm getting pretty excited about the upcoming trip to SoCal later this week; it's been a brutal October here, coldest I can ever remember



kod said...

can't believe the Gophs got 4 votes for the top 25 this week


those 4 voters should be immediatey stripped of any and all voting privileges going forward



H said...

The Patriots are getting to the point of being unwatchable.

The Meiz said...

I'm dropping Tom Brady

The Meiz said...

CALVIN!

ToddPacker said...

pre boozing for the concert. Stella is the beer of choice tonight

kod said...

haha, LIONS!

Great jinx by Fox. Right when they decided with 100% certainty that Dallas won the game with over a minute left and less than 1 TD apart, I thought to myself....

self, Detroit is probably going to win this fucking game now

sho nuff


kod said...

I was just about going to post that here at the time (and also call my dad to say the same thing) but didn't, as I really wanted the LIONS! and was afraid I might cancel out Fox's jinx (ns)

Keef said...

Good game, Tompkins, you fucking douche fucking dicknosed faggot bitch fuck

kod said...

I don't know this Tompkins, but he sounds pretty terrible


fuck him

The Meiz said...

Shut up, Kevin. Tom Brady finished with 10.3 points. Andy Dalton currently has 19.3 IN THE FIRST QUARTER.

Keef said...

I felt ok sitting Bowe when I saw he only got 1.7 pts. Thompkins decided to do worst* and get 0

Keef said...

I could have kept Brandon Marshall in my lineup this week and he would have had as many pts as Thompkins

Keef said...

Cincy needs to stop giving the ball to BGE in the red zone

The Meiz said...

I'm not going to stream this Cincy game because I'm pissed at myself. I KNEW I was right about Dalton/Brady, and I let "experts" and friends talk me out of it.

Keef said...

TD dalton

Keef said...

40+ pts for Dalton

H said...

"I let "experts" and friends talk me out of it."

You just asked me the weather. I take no responsibility for your decision.

The Meiz said...

"You just asked me the weather. I take no responsibility for your decision."


Not blaming you at all. Merely asked for a weather report from my best source.

Keef said...

You should have played Andy, Andy.

Jugdish said...

wall

Blue said...

Picked up Marvin jones in my money league to cover the bye week, don't i look smart

Jugdish said...

seriously guys, brady or dalton?!?!

/mize





s

Jugdish said...

start the ginger!

/aitch

Jugdish said...

the whole grabbing each others beards is weird

Keef said...

Just gave Eddie a beej!

/TP

ToddPacker said...

wasn't close enough to mr vedder

ToddPacker said...

grate fuckin show. nice tribute to Lou reed

Jugdish said...

walk off pick off? don't see those very often

ToddPacker said...

I gather steam by you fickin with me

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino