Monday, August 26, 2013

Runny diary

Here we are again from the as. tavern, in beautiful Gilbert, Arizona, for another runny diary. Here is a cliff's notes version of the 2013 MTV video music awards... *note, this is on dvr, so the times are jacked up
8:27 fucking Lady Gaga. I hate her. She whores for almost as much attention as aitch. Almost. She's ugly and not talented. She is like everyone on LOV. I'm gonna FF through this opening.
8:31 oh look, speaking of untalented, it's 1 Direction. Fucking Brits. They just showed T Swift and S Gomez. I'd 3some that pair. First award of the night is best pop video. I hope Bruno Mars doesn't win. And the winner is... Selena Gomez. She's showing some leg. I like it. She seems flighty. I like it.
8:35 ha, the SNL chick is doing the Miley Cyrus act. That's entertaining. Do you know what's not entertaining? The real Miley Cyrus act that is on my tv now. FF
8:38 Blurred Lines. Jesus, Miley is a little whore. She looks like she's hammered.
8:39 Two Chainzzzzzz. There is a lot of fat asses on stage. It's like a twerkfest right now. I like it.
8:43best hip hop video. FF /tem & jug. I hope Macklemore wins. Because he's white. (S). And the winner is... Macklemore. Suite. Ryan Lewis sounds like John Legend. Macklemore wears tight pants. And he has a suite 90s haircut. And now they're talking too much. NEXT!
8:48 Yeesus. Fucking talented dude. A giant ass, though. He's more of an ass than Kim K's ass is an ass. I think I literally hate him as a person, but he's probably one of my top 5 favorite artists. Crazy.
8:53 I'm tired if this Daft Punk song. Pharell is cool, though. They're presenting best women* video. I hope Miley doesn't win. And the moon man goes to... T Sweezy. She has no boobs and no ass. But I would do her. Hopefully they've got Yeesus locked up backstage. 
8:55 best video with a social message? Gotta be Macklemore, right? I've never heard this award before. Winner...Macklemore. And a fat chick with a sleeve tat. That tat had to be so spendy. That's a lot of skin to cover. Time for some long windedness.
8:59 Justin Timberlake chills. /mize. FF time
9:01 oh look, it's N*Sync. They're cool. Old guys doing a boy band act is funny. Bye Bye Bye Bye.
9:03 holy crap, JT has been onstage for like 30 minutes or something. Realistically, probably 15 minutes.
9:05 best song of the summer? Wft. 1 Direction huh. NEXT! Fucking Brits
9:06 Jason Collins sounds like a robot. Weird. Actually, it kind of sounds like his mouth is full when he talks. Too soon?
9:07 Macklemore on stage. I like this Same Love song. It's so weird watching this white dude spit lyrics like does. Doesn't make sense. 
9:11 fucking hamsters
9:12 T-Boz & Chili. Chili is hot. That is all. Drake is on stage, so I'm gonna pee.
9:15 best male video. I'll take all of them. /bilok
9:17 Oh Selena. Oh look, Bruno Mars. FF
9:18 fucking hamsters.
9:19 vidyo* of the year. I hope Thrift Shop wins. As long as its not bruno. VMA goes to...JT. I just gave mize a boner. I hope I never say that again. 
9:20 final performance of the night. Katy Perry. I hope we see fun bags. This boxing setup is retarded. I mean, I get it. Eye of the Tiger. Rocky. That's cute. But just get on stage, wearing next to nothing, and that will suffice.
Good night

129 comments:

Aitch said...

"9:15 best male video. I'll take all of them. /bilok"

Wooooow.... harsh.

Keef said...

Buffalo Bills quarterback Kevin Kolb suffered a concussion in Saturday's preseason loss to the Washington Redskins, a league source told ESPN NFL Insider Adam Schefter.



Weird

Jugdish said...

My main concern is Lamar Miller. I feel like I need to see another tailback get severely injured early so I can overbid on his replacement.



i didn't think your team looked bad. is that a ten team league?

Jugdish said...

the 2013 MTV video music awards...


FF

/tem and jug


fixed

Jugdish said...

school starting today = traffic will be worst*

Jugdish said...

Weird


Per the source, the Bills are proceeding as if the concussion, which was termed "serious," could be career-ending.

BLUE said...

you know what else could be serious. EJ Manuel

Jugdish said...

Bills sign Leinart



problem solved

Jugdish said...

Odom’s “hardcore drug abuse” has led to the deterioration of his marriage, a three-week stint in rehab last August and the Kardashian family staging an intervention, according to the report.



im surprised that wasn't made into a tv show

tem said...

words i don't know what they mean/are:

flighty
the SNL chick is doing the Miley Cyrus act.
Two Chainzzzzzz
twerkfest
Macklemore
Ryan Lewis
John Legend
Yeesus
Daft Punk
Pharell
Jason Collins (the gay former NBAer?)
Same Love song
fucking hamsters (kia commercial?)
Drake
Bruno Mars

tem said...

" the Kardashian family staging an intervention"


things must be really fucked up if the goddman Kardashians think you need to clean up your act.

tem said...

1 Jamaal Charles, KC RB
2 Dwayne Bowe, KC WR
3 Chris Johnson, Ten RB
4 Matt Ryan, Atl QB
5 Doug Martin, TB RB KEEPER
6 Vincent Brown, SD WR
7 Jermichael Finley, GB TE
8 Michael Floyd, Ari WR
9 DeAndre Hopkins, Hou WR
10 Kenbrell Thompkins, NE WR
11 Alex Smith, KC QB
12 Ravens D/ST D/ST
13 Kyle Rudolph, Min TE
14 Justin Tucker, Bal K
15 Jeremy Kerley, NYJ WR
16 Cordarrelle Patterson, Min WR

tem said...

that was my 1st $$$ league draft.

The Meiz said...

"I think I literally hate him as a person, but he's probably one of my top 5 favorite artists. Crazy."


Now you're getting it.

The Meiz said...

"i didn't think your team looked bad. is that a ten team league?"

Yep.

BLUE said...

completely brain farted and forgot about my $$ league draft last night.

didn't have an awful draft, but i'm not super happy with my team.

i'll have to use some skillz the next few weeks to pickup ballers

tem said...

did it autodraft you a team?

The Meiz said...

I'm irked by Keith's disdain for Bruno Mars. Treasure is the cut.

The Meiz said...

Miley Cyrus can chew on a porcupine, for all I care.

Aitch said...

(6)Jamaal Charles RB
(15)Trent Richardson RB
(26)Russell Wilson QB
(35)Montee Ball RB
(46)Antonio Brown WR
(55)Cecil Shorts WR
(66)Jermichael Finley TE
(75)Mike Williams WR
(86)Eli Manning QB
(95)Green Bay DEF
(106)Le'Veon Bell RB
(115)Brandon PettigrewTE
(126)Alshon JefferyWR
(135)Vick BallardRB
(146)Mike NugentK
(156)Dez BryantWR

Aitch said...

Final round was keepers

Jugdish said...

4 team league?


s

Keef said...

A trip around the bases on a baseball diamond is longer than goal-to-goal on a football field.

Keef said...

3rd round for Russell Wilson?

Keef said...

flighty - ditzy
the SNL chick is doing the Miley Cyrus act. - I don't know her name. She's very gummy
Two Chainzzzzzz - 2 Chains
twerkfest - You know, that shit that spiff linkt* a few weeks ago
Macklemore - You'd know the Thrift Shop song
Ryan Lewis - Black guy
John Legend - Black guy
Yeesus - Black guy. Kanye Kardashian
Daft Punk - Awful group.
Pharell - Black guy
Jason Collins (the gay former NBAer?) - Stop it
Same Love song - song about gay rights
fucking hamsters (kia commercial?) - yes
Drake - blackish canadian guy
Bruno Mars - mize's love interest, apparently

Keef said...

I'm irked by Keith's disdain for Bruno Mars. Treasure is the cut.



He's so awful.

Aitch said...

"3rd round for Russell Wilson?"

Yup. Thinking I reached or surprised he was there?

Jugdish said...

im thinking a reach...what other players were kept?

Keef said...

Thinking I reached or surprised he was there?


reach for sure, IMO

Keef said...

We have a 12 team league and I think he went in the 6th or 7th round

Keef said...

Of course, we have a Cowboys fan in our league who took Dez Bryant in the 1st, Romo in the 3rd, and Murray in the 4th. So that skews the #s a little

The Meiz said...

Wilson was a reach.

I almost took Dez at 10 or 11. NS

The Meiz said...

I don't like that Tem and H both took Charles in the 1st round. Do you know who his head coach is now?

The Meiz said...

Also, Keith is now a cratchety old man. Yanked that title straight out of Packer's grip.

Keef said...

Shady seemed to do ok, fantasy-wise, in Reid's system

Keef said...

Also, Keith is now a cratchety old man.



how so

BLUE said...

"did it autodraft you a team?"

yep

The Meiz said...

You hate a lot of things. The list seems to grow by the day.

BLUE said...

shady is a different type of back than Jamaal Charles.

I think Charles will do OK in reid's system, but not sure he's a fantasy sure fire guy

Keef said...

You hate a lot of things. The list seems to grow by the day.



OIC. I'm ok with that.

Keef said...

I hate things that suck

Keef said...

Accept* Dyson vacuums. Those are cool

tem said...

"I don't like that Tem and H both took Charles in the 1st round. Do you know who his head coach is now?"

i don't like that i have Charles and Bowe and Smith.

but i do like Charles as a back. it is a ppr league and in a ppr format I think he is a top 5 back. (martin and spiller were kept and peterson and rice were already gone when I picked)

tem said...

i am high on Charles. almost have Charles chillz

tem said...

Wilson seems like a reach to me in round 3 unless the scoring is very heavy QB scoring and lots of other QBs were already gone.

like if rodgers, brees, manning, rg3, brady, capernick, newton, and probably another one or two (maybe shcaub, ryan) i am forgetting were gone then wilson there works for me.

Keef said...

Schaub went in like the 10th-12th round in my league

The Meiz said...

"but i do like Charles as a back. it is a ppr league and in a ppr format I think he is a top 5 back. (martin and spiller were kept and peterson and rice were already gone when I picked)"

whatta gotta WR?

The Meiz said...

I need Lamar Miller to be my 2013 Doug Martin

Keef said...

Seems like young Fish* RBs aren't very good lately.

The Meiz said...

Right. I'm pretty much stacking my chips on something that doesn't have a good track record.

The Meiz said...

Regardless, our scoring is WR & QB heavy. I did that to trap the lazy asses that don't pay attention and draft RB heavy.

Keef said...

good luck with that

tem said...

"whatta gotta WR?"

i always go WR heavy and never win the title. seems like a WR that scores can be found easier on waivers than a RB that scores.

The Meiz said...

"good luck with that"

It worked fine last year

tem said...

last year i had calvin, vincent jackson and welker at WR. i finished 3rd from last.

i didn't get doug martin until like week 10. my RB was steven jackson i think last year.

Jugdish said...

You hate a lot of things that i like. The list seems to grow by the day.



fixed

Aitch said...

rodgers, brees, manning, rg3, brady, capernick, newton

All were gone. Peyton, Rodgers, & Brees went 1, 2, 3 and RGIII & Kap were keepers.

Aitch said...

Newton went the pick before I took Wilson

Keef said...

good fix

Keef said...

I know lots of people that hate Bruno Mars' music. The people that like his music are teenage girls. I don't know many of those.

The Meiz said...

"You hate a lot of things that i like. The list seems to grow by the day.



fixed"


Stop it. Nobody uses the word "hate" nearly as much.

Keef said...

The word hate was used twice in the diary. And one was for Gaga, who everyone hates. It's not like the word hate was in every entry

The Meiz said...

I don't hate the Gaga.

The Meiz said...

New garden goal for next year. Indigo Rose tomatoes. Those things are badass.

Jugdish said...

The word hate was used twice in the diary. And one was for Gaga, who everyone hates. It's not like the word hate was in every entry



You just used it three times right there, proves my point.

/mize

Keef said...

shit

Aitch said...

"And one was for Gaga, who everyone hates."

I don't hate Gaga, either.

Jugdish said...

4 or 5 wardrobe changes in the opening song is enough to hate

Keef said...

I don't hate Gaga, either.




Well yeah. You guys are 2 peas in a pod

Aitch said...

"You guys are 2 peas in a pod"

Hardly. I'm not ashamed of being white.

The Meiz said...

Ha

Spaceman Spiff said...

26)Russell Wilson QB

lol

Keef said...

Hardly. I'm not ashamed of being white.



I mean you and Gaga, goof

Spaceman Spiff said...

forgot to post and lucked out, suite

Jugdish said...

he meant 26th round


s

The Meiz said...

Spiff knows

The Meiz said...

I felt like I reached a little for Brady at 31, but I couldn't pass up all those buckets. I also didn't want to risk drafting a high-risk QB.

Keef said...

I have way too many Patriots on my team for my liking.

Spaceman Spiff said...

youll end up dropping 1 or 2, but yea

Spaceman Spiff said...

tem has a lot of ufc picks to do this week, 2 shows

Aitch said...

"26)Russell Wilson QB

lol"

So which QB would you have taken?

Keef said...

I'm hoping Gronk will be hurt a lot, and I'll keep Sudfeld and trade Witten. They're gonna run like crazy too, so I'm fine with having bolth* RB. Thompkins is kind of a flier.

Keef said...

So which QB would you have taken?



Wait a couple rounds and go after Wilson/Luck/Ryan

Keef said...

you panicked because QBs were being taken and you reached for Wilson. It happens

Aitch said...

"Wait a couple rounds and go after Wilson/Luck/Ryan

you panicked because QBs were being taken and you reached for Wilson. It happens"

Fair enough. I think Luck might still be available, actually.

Aitch said...

I certainly didn't love that pick, but overall I'm happy with the team I ended up with.

Aitch said...

"Thompkins is kind of a flier."

He went in the 4th round in our draft. The rest of us laughed heartily.

The Meiz said...

Big Ben went undrafted in my league. I'm kinda shook by that.

Spaceman Spiff said...

anyone else notice ben isnt obese this year

Keef said...

I think Luck might still be available, actually


what?

Jugdish said...

I think Luck might still be available, actually



is that a money league? if so, do you have any openings?



s

Aitch said...

Never mind. He was taken.

Aitch said...

Stafford & Ryan were gone, too.

tem said...

i'm ok with the wilson reach.

sometimes you have to reach if there is a run.

Keef said...

You could have waited 7 more rounds and gotten Carson Palmer, who will probably get you about 3-4 fewer pts per game on average.

tem said...

i'm not a huge wilson fan, but i understand why people would like him.

he is projected to do lots better than if you had waited and snagged a tannehil or smith or big ben or dalton.

tem said...

is that 3-4 points on a league where 100 is good score for the week?

if so 3-4 points per game is big.


i'm getting a 4% boost for my team from 1 player? that's worth a few extra rounds.

Aitch said...

Fuck. Tem agrees with me. I'm screwed.

tem said...

cutler and freeman went undrafted in my league

tem said...

"Fuck. Tem agrees with me. I'm screwed."

twhnbs

Aitch said...

"You could have waited 7 more rounds and gotten Carson Palmer, who will probably get you about 3-4 fewer pts per game on average."

You're dreaming if you think the difference will be that small. Wilson's rushing alone is worth 4-5 ppg.

Keef said...

if so 3-4 points per game is big.

i'm getting a 4% boost for my team from 1 player? that's worth a few extra rounds.



This is under the assumption that you're not getting anyone else in the third round if you don't draft Wilson. You get a solid RB/WR in that spot. Or you get a solid TE that will do much better than Finley. That more than makes up the pt differential between Wilson & Palmer

Keef said...

You're dreaming if you think the difference will be that small. Wilson's rushing alone is worth 4-5 ppg.



Last year in my league, Wilson averaged 20.1 pts. Palmer averaged 17.5 pts. Palmer will throw for more yards and more TD

The Meiz said...

Finley has a monster year this season. I just have a gut feeling about this.

Keef said...

Don't get me wrong. As a Bengals fan, I can't stand Palmer. But he puts up fantasy #s

Keef said...

Hell Josh Freeman averaged 1 fewer PPG than Wilson last year

tem said...

that was last year, wilson is sometimes projected to do lots better this year.

tem said...

"You get a solid RB/WR in that spot. Or you get a solid TE that will do much better than Finley. That more than makes up the pt differential between Wilson & Palmer"

but if you think the dropoff between wilson and palmer > than the dropoff elsewhere you made a good choice.

i don't agree with H, but i think the drafting of wilson is at least defensible there. he has a leg to stand on.

Keef said...

that was last year, wilson is sometimes projected to do lots better this year.



In my league, Wilson is projected to get 332 pts, Palmer 271. Difference of 3.8 ppg

Keef said...

i don't agree with H, but i think the drafting of wilson is at least defensible there. he has a leg to stand on.



All I said was that it was a reach. We all have reach picks. I had guys I wanted to get going into my draft. I had the first pick, so I had a couple guys I picked earlier than they should have gone because I had to wait 22 picks.

Keef said...

Paging Dr. Andrews. Matt Harvey is here to see you.

tem said...

Carlos Condit vs Martin Kampmann

I have to go Condit here. Kampmann can punch, but Condit is really good. Kampmann has a puncher's chance, but I imagine Condit will ride him 5 rounds to a decision victory.


Rafael dos Anjos vs Donald Cerrone

I like Cerrone because he is a cowboy. Not a Dallas Cowboy. Or a Brokeback Mountain Cowboy. He seems cool. I'll go with him. It should be a fast paced fight and do Anjos is skilled, but whatever.

Brian Melancon vs Kelvin Gastelum

I think the Gastelum guy won the Ultimate Fighter 7000 or whatever they are up to. Those Ultimate Fighter guys never do well anymore. I'll pick Melancon even though I know nothing about him. He could have won Ultimate FIghter Brazil 4012 for all I know.

Court McGee vs Robert Whittaker

I think more Ultimate Fighter alums. I'll take Whittaker because his uncle Forrest was in that Van Damme movie about the Kumite.


Takeya Mizugaki vs Erik Perez

no idea....the asian guy wins


Brad Tavares vs Robert McDaniel

Tavares, 2nd round tko.

Dylan Andrews vs Papy Abedi

Papy is named after Papy O'Daniel. A great governor. Go with Papy.


Justin Edwards vs Brandon Thatch

A Thatch is a bird and I work for Edwards Co. I'll go Edwards.

Darren Elkins Hatsu Hioki

no idea....the asian guy wins

Jason High vs James Head

are these names real? umm given the choice between high and head, I'll take head.


Zak Cummings vs Ben Alloway

Cummings, seriously? these names have got to be fake. Sure, Cummings wins.

Roger Bowling vs Abel Trujillo

insert Bowling over opponent headline here.

BLUE said...

"
Last year in my league, Wilson averaged 20.1 pts. Palmer averaged 17.5 pts. Palmer will throw for more yards and more TD"

good thing you don't have to play by last years stats

BLUE said...

"Paging Dr. Andrews. Matt Harvey is here to see you."



/EP

tem said...

i'd dominate my league if we got to play by last year's stats.

Aitch said...

Bitchscream never gets old.

Keef said...

good thing you don't have to play by last years stats



Because projections are always spot on.

Keef said...

you can get a good look at a tbone by sticking your head up a butcher's ass

Keef said...

no, wait. It's gotta be your bull

Keef said...

wall

Keef said...

abrupt ending

The Meiz said...

Work got cray cray

Aitch said...

Sorry. Had practice.

tem said...

Guy in my $$$ league 2 draft tonight kwpt eli manning. Spent the 5th overall pick on him.

tem said...

That redefines reach

tem said...

The rest of the guys in the league are not retarded

The Meiz said...

"Guy in my $$$ league 2 draft tonight kwpt eli manning. Spent the 5th overall pick on him."

Holy shit

Keef said...

Wall

tem said...

go

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