Friday, July 19, 2013

Heard you busted some Chinese nationals at the border with a bunch of light switches.

I really just enjoy bread with butter.  It makes a good breakfast. 

Did you know why breakfast is breakfast?  Since it's the period meal that "breaks" up the nightime "fast" it's referred to as breakfast.  So if you stumble out of your bed at 3am and end up snacking on a bag of crunchy cheetos that is your breakfast.

your welcome
So many lessons to teach so little time.

I'm jonesing for football pretty bad and it's only July.
I've decided I'm all for the player safety initiative because I don't want to see a guy die on the field.  If that happens football might stop and I don't want it to stop.  I like the idea of watching football with my son when I'm old.

fucking frozen yogurt places huh?

Uncle Joey time:

Alfred Nobel is the guy who started the Nobel Peace Prize award thing.  He invented dynamite.

I should walk into a Library one of these days.  Just because I haven't been inside one in about 20 years.

Green coffee beans?  Seriously?

Detroit is bankrupt.  Officially.  Wonder if they tried pawning some shit at the Hard Core Pawn shop on 8 mile rd that's on TV.

Creme Brulee is delicious.  Especially after a steak dinner.






356 comments:

1 – 200 of 356   Newer›   Newest»
Aitch said...

The gems have returned.

Aitch said...

"your welcome
So many lessons to teach so little time."

Clearly one of those lessons isn't grammar.

Aitch said...

"Terrible city"

Meiz is still bitter about Cubs Chick.

Aitch said...

Don't blame a whole city cuz her uncle died, Meiz.

Aitch said...

I hate the fucking humidity. I can kinda deal with the heat. But it's only 6:30 and it's already oppressive. I can't breathe in this shit.

Woe

Aitch said...

I was listening to Follow Me by Uncle Kracker this morning. Such a happy, upbeat song about heroin addiction.

Jugdish said...

I hate the fucking humidity. I can kinda deal with the heat. But it's only 6:30 and it's already oppressive. I can't breathe in this shit.



you wouldn't like houston

Jugdish said...

its like anything else though, you get used to it if you live in it.

a lot of people in the south say they can't handle cold weather. wussbags

Aitch said...

"you wouldn't like houston"

I know

Aitch said...

The good thing about days like today is I smoke less

El Padrino said...

some cunt hit my parked car yesterday, no note just a huge swideswipe dent across both passenger side doors

just drove it off the showroom floor three weeks ago

Jugdish said...

"Terrible city"



zoo envy

Jugdish said...

some cunt hit my parked car yesterday, no note just a huge swideswipe dent across both passenger side doors



that sucks, man. sorry to hear that. what kind of car did you get? what's your deductible?

El Padrino said...

2013 honda accord sport

$1000

El Padrino said...

charles knows

Jugdish said...

charles knows


^^^

BLUE said...

he's a racist

Aitch said...

Bhitler chimes in...

BLUE said...

Charles barkley hates black people

/kanye

Keef said...

Why the fuck do you have a $1000 deductible?

BLUE said...

why not

BLUE said...

he live is NYC that's like a $100 deductible in AZ

Keef said...

Good point

tem said...

"Why the fuck do you have a $1000 deductible?"

so his rates are lower?

you are the insurance guy. you tell us why.

Keef said...

so his rates are lower?



By maybe $6

tem said...

nice car. i thought you'd get a minivan though.

tem said...

"By maybe $6"

so they are lower, got it.

Keef said...

Fucking minivans

El Padrino said...

so his rates are lower?

this

El Padrino said...

el pad will never get a minivan

BLUE said...

EP, go in and change your deductible.

wait 2 months, then report the accident

Aitch said...

"so they are lower, got it."

Ha!

BLUE said...

that's the American way

Aitch said...

"EP, go in and change your deductible.

wait 2 months, then report the accident"

Not a bad idea. I bet he already reported it though.

Aitch said...

"el pad will never get a minivan"

I once made this statement. We all know how that turned out...

El Padrino said...

i already reported it, the damage is bad enough i just want it fixed

i'm more pissed that the insurance will go up now, i lose my accident free discount

El Padrino said...

"I once made this statement. We all know how that turned out..."

i'm not a liar though

BLUE said...

keith can speak to this, but i'm not sure your insurance typically goes up in a "no fault" accident

I could be wrong, but it doesn't make you any higher of a risk to insure.

El Padrino said...

but it's reported as an "accident"

we'll see

i'll keep you posted, some as.hole like keef will be calling me today

Aitch said...

I think Blue is right. It's an accident, but unless you were illegally parked or something, it's not your fault.

El Padrino said...

cool, belachers then nice seats high above the action plus some suites and a bar

tem said...

your rate will always go up because of anything. insurance companies fuck you worse than drive thrus fuck you.

tem said...

so our bank says that the wire desk shuts down at 4:30pm and can't send wires out anymore.

does that mean west coasters can't send a wire out after 1:30pm?

no fucking way, right? my bank is full of shit with this the wire desk shuts down stuff.

tem said...

if JJ Watt was super mario and QBs were koopa troopas then QBs should be worried that JJ Watt can stand and jump high.

El Padrino said...

no fucking way, right? my bank is full of shit with this the wire desk shuts down stuff.

no fucking way, the fed wire system closing at 6pm for us denominated funds being moved via fed wire

truthfully the system is 24 hours but that's a dirty little secret

so the bank has an internal cutoff and is fucking you

El Padrino said...

it's the sole reason im here until 6pm daily

Jugdish said...

cool, belachers then nice seats high above the action plus some suites and a bar





Ashwaubenon village president Michael W. Aubinger looks like he has the roach alien inside him from MIB

BLUE said...

fed has to have wires by 5. most banks close their wire desk 30 minutes prior.


So yes, our wire deadline is 2:30 here.

tem said...

"truthfully the system is 24 hours but that's a dirty little secret"


fed has to have wires by 5. most banks close their wire desk 30 minutes prior.


So yes, our wire deadline is 2:30 here."



interesting shit. at least to me.


BLUE said...

exception to the wire deadline is the last day of the month/quarter...then we can get manual wires out until like 4pm MT

Keef said...

Marie Curie's notebooks are still radioactive.

Keef said...

fucking frozen yogurt places huh?



You just now noticing this?

ns

Keef said...

keith can speak to this, but i'm not sure your insurance typically goes up in a "no fault" accident



yep. And as tem said, insurance will usually go up every year, depending on the state

Keef said...

but unless you were illegally parked or something, it's not your fault.


Where it's parked doesn't matter. A parked car can do no wrong

ns

El Padrino said...

"You just now noticing this?

ns"

yes

they've exploded, there was a few pinkberrys around but now there are all kinds of other named places around

tem said...

what if you park it 3 seconds before the accident on the middle of the interstate?

tem said...

pinkberry sounds like another word for pussy.

Keef said...

what if you park it 3 seconds before the accident on the middle of the interstate?



fucking tem

El Padrino said...

"fed has to have wires by 5. most banks close their wire desk 30 minutes prior."

not in my industry, just saying
but maybe that's because we have direct access to fed window up until 615

Keef said...

there was a few pinkberrys around


were

tem said...

i think the wire shit is a scam by the banks.

they fucked up a wire two days ago that needed to go out that day. they called to let me know at 4:37 that the wire didn't go through. i told them they needed to get it out that day and after some bitching and moaning on my part they said they'd see what they could do.

they called me back at 5:15ish and said they got it out that day.

El Padrino said...

there was a few pinkberrys around


were

are

Keef said...

are is also acceptable

tem said...

wire was for a rate lock, so if it didn't go out that day the rate wouldn't be locked, which could be terrible if interest rates climb.

fyi - i originally sent the wire at 10am, so they had plenty of time to let me know they fucked it up somehow.

BLUE said...

we had shit like that happen at year end.

a couple big wires were supposed to go out on the last day of the month. it was from an already approved template. Then I submitted the wire, and it was approved by our CFO in the banking system.

Anyway, their procedure is that they call and get confirmation, and apparently the only phone number they have is our office phone, and it was new year's eve, nobody was in the office. So wires didn't go out. Bunch of pissed off people.

Keef said...

wall

Keef said...

tem
Reds/Goddman Pirates bet?

El Padrino said...

comic con seems fun

nerdy but fun

Keef said...

when are you having another kid

tem said...

"tem
Reds/Goddman Pirates bet?"

no. pirates suck 2nd half. i didn't do any 1st half bets so i am not doing the 2nd half ones.

tem said...

"when are you having another kid"

if this is directed at me, i don't know.

Jugdish said...

can't wait






s

Keef said...

if this is directed at me, i don't know.


LP

Keef said...

no. pirates suck 2nd half. i didn't do any 1st half bets so i am not doing the 2nd half ones



puss

tem said...

"puss"

why didn't you ask me in the 1st half when the pirates are good?

Jugdish said...

puss



you'd be risking a punch in the nose if you said that to him in person


s

Keef said...

why didn't you ask me?

tem said...

because i don't do the basball bets.

Jugdish said...

mize hacked tem's account

El Padrino said...

when are you having another kid

no

El Padrino said...

i'm good

tem said...

I thought el pad was going to knock up that black chick?

El Padrino said...

not allowed

Keef said...

not allowed



You've never done something you're not allowed to do?

tem said...

i think it is the black chick that doesn't allow it.

BLUE said...

for the record

i'm not having any new kids either

Keef said...

Lids $5 clearance

Keef said...

i'm not having any new kids either



That's because they cut your junk

El Padrino said...

"You've never done something you're not allowed to do?"

are you baiting me into cheating on my wife and ruining a perfectly stable family?

BLUE said...

nope, they didn't touch me

tem said...

is cmblue gonna have some more?

Keef said...

I just want you to be happy

BLUE said...

meiz

BLUE said...

"is cmblue gonna have some more?"

unpossible

El Padrino said...

im happy as a clam

BLUE said...

clams are happy?

BLUE said...

I've never seen a clam show emotion

El Padrino said...

that's a saying i've never figured out myself

El Padrino said...

Meaning

Very happy and content.

Origin

An early version is 'as happy as a clam at high water'. Clams are free from the attentions of predators at high tide, so perhaps that's a reason to consider them happy then

Jugdish said...

based on the full form of the phrase happy as a clam in mud at high tide (a clam that cannot be dug up and eaten, which therefore could be considered happy)

Jugdish said...

there ya go...

tem said...

knowing is knowledge

The Meiz said...

"yep. And as tem said, insurance will usually go up every year, depending on the state"

Mine keeps going down

tem said...

special case

The Meiz said...

I think it's because I'm an awesome driver and I live with the rich people.

Keef said...

that's a saying i've never figured out myself


Clams look like they're smiling

Jugdish said...

Mine keeps going down



that's only because i never filed the claim for the minivan you broke

Keef said...

ha

tem said...

the minivan was parked. meiz can't be at fault.

Keef said...

I hate when we have training that is "voluntary", and the people that need to go don't go. And then afterwards they come up to you with questions about something that was covered in the meeting.

tem said...

that is what separates the people who get promotions from the people who don't.

El Padrino said...

tem knows

Keef said...

that is what separates the people who get promotions from the people who don't.



Funny you say that. One of the other chicks who interviewed for the spot I got has been bitching every day about not getting it. She keeps saying that she doesn't know why she didn't get it because she's been here 7 years. She's the one who came up to me earlier and asked me the questions from our training because she didn't go.

Keef said...

tem does know

The Meiz said...

We've had 2 "voluntary" training sessions for our sales team this week. The good MAs knew damn well they better have their asses at both sessions. Hell, I even tried to weasel my way into them.

El Padrino said...

it's like voluntary mini-camps for football, usually they have 100% show up

Keef said...

what's an MA?

The Meiz said...

Marketing Associate.

Fancy for salesperson.

El Padrino said...

shut up

Aitch said...

That was weird. I typed a completely different comment and my phone posted one from earlier

Keef said...

eracist

BLUE said...

" Hell, I even tried to weasel my way into them."

that's because they have free food, don't lie

BLUE said...

british open scores are starting to look like US Open scores

Keef said...

It's The Open!


/mize

BLUE said...

pack has come back to tiger, now just one stroke back

Keef said...

Asiana Airlines Flight 214 passenger Ye Mengyan died of injuries she received when run over by a fire department vehicle, and she was alive when she was hit, Coroner Robert Foucrault of San Mateo County, California, said Friday.



shitty

tem said...

i think that happened to a character in hot shots.

survived the fighter plane wreck. kilt by the firetruck.

deadmeat or something?

El Padrino said...

Ye Mengyan

you sure that isn't Bang Ding Ow?

/KTVU

Keef said...

My favorite one of those names was Wi Tu Lo

BLUE said...

sum ting wong

El Padrino said...

sum ting wong

god damn that's funny

Jugdish said...

called dtv and got a good deal on the sunday ticket...suite

Keef said...

I'm thinking about switching over to that Prism from Centurylink

Keef said...

Would probably have to pay about $175 cancellation fee to DTV, but Centurylink will give me a $100 gift card, and their rates are locked in for 2 years

Jugdish said...

im half way through my two year contract, but they gave me a discount on the ticket plus a couple of other discounts that make up the difference.

tem said...

frozen yogurt is called froyo

tem said...

i need to bail on time warner and go to direct tv to save some cash.

Keef said...

im half way through my two year contract, but they gave me a discount on the ticket plus a couple of other discounts that make up the difference.



I just finished year 1 and called to see what discounts were available about 3 weeks ago. All I got was like $15 in discounts.

Keef said...

seems low

/jug

Jugdish said...

I just finished year 1 and called to see what discounts were available about 3 weeks ago. All I got was like $15 in discounts.



they started billing me for the sunday ticket this month, so i called to cancel it...told them my pay was cut and was looking to save. after everything they did my bill went up $4 including the ticket. ill probably knock the tv package i got down a level. i compared it to what i have now and i don't watch any of the additional channels i have under the current package

tem said...

tell them they got furloughed.

Jugdish said...

i was about to furlough the sunday ticket

tem said...

but it said no.

you should tell obama no.

BLUE said...

I wish I had something to cancel so I could get a deal on sunday ticket

BLUE said...

basically they did get furloughed.

they're offering more for the same price, which is similar to working the same for less money

Keef said...

they're offering more for the same price, which is similar to working the same for less money




Wouldn't that be similar to working more for the same money?

Aitch said...

Probably why he used the word "similar"

Aitch said...

Not "exactly"

Keef said...

Thank you Merriman

Keef said...

mize, are we doing FNFL this year?

The Meiz said...

I would think so

BLUE said...

i'm in for fnfl

The Meiz said...

Black chick embarrasses the hell out of herself every day and has no idea she does it.

The Meiz said...

home time

Keef said...

Black chick embarrasses the hell out of herself every day and has no idea she does it.




You don't say that!

/LP

kod said...

"I hate when we have training that is "voluntary", and the people that need to go don't go. And then afterwards they come up to you with questions about something that was covered in the meeting."

"that is what separates the people who get promotions from the people who don't."

"tem knows...does know"

it's true, and I see where you are all coming from on that....that being said, I absolutely hate that type of shit. Calling it "voluntary" and then holding it against those who don't appear.

I hold trainings, there are some that need it more than others, but it's always mandatory (but, if it doesn't work for someone's schedule, that's ok, I'll do it 1-1 at a different time).

It's always mandatory if failing to attend creates any kind of judgment from management. So, better to be honest, and make the shit mandatory

IMO only



BLUE said...

mandatory/voluntary

Keef said...

Calling it "voluntary" and then holding it against those who don't appear.



They aren't "punished" here by mgmt if they don't go. It just bothers me when I go and lose an hour of time I could be getting stuff done, and these people don't go and then come up to me afterwards and ask me questions that they would have learnt in the training. Then my time gets wasted again

BLUE said...

and yes, while it's voluntary, there are always eyes on you if you do or don't go

perception becomes "they don't care"

Keef said...

that's ok, I'll do it 1-1 at a different time



hey there

kod said...

"Then my time gets wasted again"


just say, you should have gone the training, and move on

kod said...

and yes, while it's voluntary, there are always eyes on you if you do or don't go

perception becomes "they don't care"

to me, it's like TC holding it against players who only showed up 2 minutes early for a meeting

d-u-m; it's mandatory or it's not, give employees direction

kod said...

and if it's not mandatory, then think, "I can't hold this against them, it wasn't required"


we had a voluntary event (a recognition for someone very valuable to our program). Most showed, a couple did not, they had good reasons; it was not held against them, because it was VOLUNTARY

Keef said...

just say, you should have gone the training, and move on



I said "were you at the training yesterday, that was something we covered". She said no and just stood there. If I say nope sorry I can't help you, then I get my boss calling me asking why I didn't help.

kod said...

"If I say nope sorry I can't help you, then I get my boss calling me asking why I didn't help"

ah, that's a tougher situation, and depends on your boss. If he/she is a good boss, I'd go to them first, and say, it hurts the company to take up my time explaining things that were covered at this training that they didn't attend.

if not a good boss, then you're stuck and your company should just make that shit mandatory

Keef said...

This is getting to be way more serious than I meant for it to be

kod said...

but those decisions are made up high, in big companies, not much you can do I suppose


but it's wasteful for the big company bosses

failure of top management IMO

kod said...

serious for consumers, that waste just gets passed down

The Meiz said...

Vodka & lemonade is the bomb drink

Jugdish said...

too bad your comoany isn't run as efficiently as the federal government





S

The Meiz said...

Go look at that GIF I just retweeted

kod said...

too bad your comoany isn't run as efficiently as the federal government

S


I never understood the "federal government" efficiency statement; I've never worked for the feds, but how can you group so many hundreds of thousands employees and divisions together with no understanding of efficiency levels?

I'm sure some are very efficient, and some very inefficient, but sheep hear horror stories or work in one division and impugn the whole

must be nice to be so all-knowing





The Meiz said...

A SHARKNADO ATTACKED THE RACING PRESIDENTS IN DC

The Meiz said...

I'm with Kod on the "Federal Government" comment

kod said...

just one of many reasons I'm so pro-Meiz

The Meiz said...

It's lazy as fuck to paint with such a broad brush

The Meiz said...

WADR

Jug: I work for the Federal Government. It's pretty sweet.


Jug: Man, fuck the Federal Government. They don't know how to do shit. They suck.

kod said...

But, I do know that we receive federal funding, and with that funding comes about 1000-5000 things we cannot do

including, at conferences with federal funding, we cannot provide any food (no dougnuts, no juice, no fruit, no lunch, no pop), we can't even provide coffee. We might have a water fountain nearby, cool when that happens, because, you know, spending 10 hours working, it's nice to have water.

my experience with federal dollars is that they are, um, careful and thrifty to say the least.

Aitch said...

Wow... did Kod just drop the hammer on Jug?

Aitch said...

And he used the word impugn! I love that word!

Aitch said...

But in all seriousness, if you worked for a company and thought you had a sweet gig, and they cut your hours like they did to Jug while spending foolishly in so many (not all) other areas, you wouldn't think it was so sweet anymore either.

kod said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Aitch said...

I'll post here in response to your FB comment, Meiz, lest a certain someone accuse me of being an A.W.

This afternoon/early evening I couldn't breathe at all and actually passed out in my apartment. Luckily I was already sitting down and didn't smash my head or anything. Couple that with some troubling symptoms over the last month or so, and I really need to quit.

The Meiz said...

"But in all seriousness, if you worked for a company and thought you had a sweet gig, and they cut your hours like they did to Jug while spending foolishly in so many (not all) other areas, you wouldn't think it was so sweet anymore either."


The comments about the Govt aren't new. B) Still getting p-a-i-d.

The Meiz said...

H out here with the Thirst function still in the on position.

Aitch said...

How so????

The Meiz said...

I smile whenever I get a message from you.

Keef said...

I'll post here in response to your FB comment, Meiz, lest a certain someone accuse me of being an A.W.


You must have missed the part where I unsubscribed

The Meiz said...

"This afternoon/early evening I couldn't breathe at all and actually passed out in my apartment. Luckily I was already sitting down and didn't smash my head or anything. Couple that with some troubling symptoms over the last month or so, and I really need to quit."


Didn't see this comment. I get it. I don't know what AW means though.

You need to see a doctor asaptually. And stop fucking smoking.

Aitch said...

"You must have missed the part where I unsubscribed"

You must have missed the part where you didn't block me so you could still troll my page.

Aitch said...

"don't know what AW means though."

Attention whore

Keef said...

Yeah, trolling your page is my top priority

Keef said...

And stop fucking smoking.


This

Aitch said...

"I smile whenever I get a message from you."

Oh. Touche.

Aitch said...

"Yeah, trolling your page is my top priority"

I'm well aware it isn't. I also wouldn't put it past you (passed you? No, past is right) if you get bored later to head over to bust my balls.

kod said...

I was going to post well wishes on your fb page H, but I'll post them here

good luck! If you're ready and serious about it, you'll get there

Keef said...

Alright. But I'll tell you right now, total NS, I'm not gonna be trolling

Keef said...

Pizza time

kod said...

quitting smoking for me is a 2 part plan

Step 1: weed. Step one has been accomplished; I quit smoking weed over a month ago, and I had smoked literally every day over the past 3 years, with no increase in drinking (see------habit!)

step 2: Cigs. Step 1 gave me confidence in Step 2. I'm thinking early August

The Meiz said...

"and I had smoked literally every day over the past 3 years"


I have a feeling somebody else was a big influence in this behavior.

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Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino