Friday, June 14, 2013

Now that's how you supposed to drive! From now on that's how you drive!

I like corn muffins.

Was thinking if Gruden broke down tape from all our job performances how funny of a parody that could end up being:

Me

Gruden : Let's look at this here how you handled this situation.  So the auditor asks for this date and you auduble!  You give them another date.  Talk to me about audibles.  Talk to me about changing the game plan.  Does your boss allow you to audible like that?  Talk about that trust factor and what made you change the date here.  What told you ::hands up in the air::  :: wide grin:: WHAT TOLD YOU TO CHANGE THAT DATE?

Meiz

Let's talk about adversity for a minute.  How do you handle adversity?  Hey, hey one day you might be asked to become supervisor right?  RIGHT?  ::wide grin::  We talk about attributes we talk about making the right decision we talk about adversity.  Thsi truck driver has been giving you crap all day, he's late, he's obnoxious, he smells like hot garbage and salami and yet you stone him man.  YOU STONE HIM.  You stand up to adversity and you knocked it down.  You don't care, you aint the reason this truck dirver is late and needs you to log in the product immediately.  Domination right there.  Well done.

TP

I mean there is nothing I love more than this play right here.  What do you call this play?  Taking the blueprint and applying it.  Winning.  We talk about winning right?  What kind of person are you.  Are you a winner Todd?  You got this blueprint and you say to the muncipality of the town, I'm gonna ram this blueprint down your throat.  AND THEN YOU DO IT.  Brilliant man.  ::staring at the tape with a wide grin::

Keef

When we talk about communication why do you think that is important?  You got the wireless headset on here - what's going through your mind on this phone call right now.  Is someone injured?  I mean that is about as well of a conversation I've seen in a long time.  That's that Sun Devil in you isn't it.  I mean it's 112 degrees and you have the wherewithall to reject this claim.  Outstanding young man.  OUTSTANDING.

Blue

Accountability.  Coaches say that all the time right.  How do you make someone accountable.  Not easy right?  Not easy?  But you are applying it here.  I mean you are in this guys face.  And bam, he's gone.  I mean look at you go here ::rewinding tape of blue firing some poor soul::  You are holding him accountable for his actions aren't you.  Just awesome man.  THAT IS JUST AWESOME.  I mean this guy has no clue and you are just ripping his legs apart.  Killer.  What instinct.

Tem

That head is constantly working isn't it.  I saw your combine numbers, you added up a balance sheet in 4.3 seconds!  Unreal man.  I couldn't do that ::laughing loudly:: I mean I couldn't add 2+2 in 4.3 seconds.  HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.  Whata gift.  You are gifted. I mean I can't wait to get you out there and work you out.  Excited.

Aitch

Smooth man.  That's all I can say.  The way you used the exit ramp on this play right here, without even allowing your passenger to feel that crack in the road was just masterpiece theater.  I can watch you drive the lanes all day man.  But this one ::shows tape of aitch sleeping outside a hotel::  I mean what is going on here.  Looks like you fell asleep at the wheel ::wide grin::  HAHAHAHAHA.  You did didn't you.  I mean this is not good here.  YOU GOTTA BE ALERT ::waving hands, eyes bulging:: HELLO.  EARTH TO MIKE.  You gotta be kidding me man.  I would bench you for weeks if you did that on my team.  You learn a lesson from this though didn't you.  I know you did.  I know.  You know how I know.  Smooth man.  Real smooth.  I'm gonna call you Smooth Mike from now on.  How bout that?  ::eyes bulging::

Jug

Air Force.  HAHAHA. ::salutes for like 5 minutes::  You're a proud guy aren't ya.  Do you hate Navy?  Cmon you can tell chucky.  You hate them right?  Is it like Bears Packers or Skins Cowboys.  You can tell me.  I see you want to shake your head yes.  You hate them.

124 comments:

El Padrino said...

morning

ToddPacker said...

funny stuff, ep

ToddPacker said...

gotta add paragraphs for Tyler and Kod

tem said...

Good post

tem said...

Elpad must watch a lot of Gruden

BLUE said...

"Tulowitzki, hitting .347 with 16 home runs this season, is headed to the disabled list and is expected to miss four to six weeks, according to MLB.com."

he's a pussy

BLUE said...

Great post EP

BLUE said...

hahahaha

bosh

El Padrino said...

cool thanks

El Padrino said...

"gotta add paragraphs for Tyler and Kod"

who?

BLUE said...

gruden would have to talk about Tyler's tweeting ability

BLUE said...

you see this tweet, now that's a great tweet, but you never hashtag. Have you ever thought about using the hashtag? I mean that's what it's there for. Lock it up, hashtag it and you're golden

ToddPacker said...

"hahahaha

bosh"


hilarious

ToddPacker said...

"gruden would have to talk about Tyler's tweeting ability"

I like bus races

BLUE said...

the bus races were great

El Padrino said...

fucking Bosh

El Padrino said...

"Elpad must watch a lot of Gruden"

we all don't?

El Padrino said...

Eyeball-licking fad making Japanese teenagers sick...

fucking gooks

BLUE said...

they also like sniffing dirty panties

BLUE said...

maybe that's what's making them sick

BLUE said...

fucking tiger, cmon man

it's Dusty in here said...

gruden would have to talk about Tyler's tweeting ability




Good post, LP

it's Dusty in here said...

gruden would have to talk about Tyler's tweeting ability




And penchant for vomiting

BLUE said...

and love of cats

it's Dusty in here said...

Fucking cats

it's Dusty in here said...

Chicago Bulls coach Tom Thibodeau said Rose's speed and explosiveness are back to where the former MVP feels like himself again.




That's convenient

El Padrino said...

fucking Rose

El Padrino said...

Terminator 5

happening

BLUE said...

excitement abounds

El Padrino said...

also Twins 2 - Triplets

El Padrino said...

holla we want prenup we want prenup

tem said...

i do not watch the gruden QB things.

Meeez said...

Best post in ages.

Standing O.

Meeez said...

Death, taxes, and Tulo on the DL.

it's Dusty in here said...

IIIIIIIIIIIIITTTTTTTTTTTT'SSSSSSSS FRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY

Meeez said...

I want gelato.

Sea salt & caramel.

it's Dusty in here said...

I assume we're betting on the weekend series, mize?


(S)

Meeez said...

The finger twirl that shook the world.

Meeez said...

"I assume we're betting on the weekend series, mize?"


I'll do it. Brewers are feeling confident.

El Padrino said...

uh oh

Meeez said...

"uh oh"

It's a new day

El Padrino said...

i want a cronut

El Padrino said...

CRUUUUUUUUUUUUZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ

Meeez said...

WTH is a cronut?

El Padrino said...

google

this nyc bakery has created this cross between a croissant and a donut and people are losing thier shit over it

it's Dusty in here said...

fad. Got it

BLUE said...

EP also has a furby and a pet rock

it's Dusty in here said...

fucking furbys

El Padrino said...

SUPERMAN FLYING HIGH WORLDWIDE: 'MAN OF STEEL' Opens With $21M Late Shows; Begins Global Release With Asian Records...

in your face tem

BLUE said...

tem doesn't care, he says it won't be top 5

BLUE said...

or maybe he says it will be a bust


I don't remember

BLUE said...

I do know it's getting really good hype/reviews (ns)

mostly from the Russel Crowe/Kevin Costner factor (s)

El Padrino said...

he said bust!

El Padrino said...

i like KC not sure why peeps clown him

it's Dusty in here said...

cott?

tem said...

not top 5 for that movie is a bust.

El Padrino said...

Multiple sources insist Griffin remains untouchable.

hilarious

BLUE said...

peter griffin?

BLUE said...

"i like KC not sure why peeps clown him"

and the sunshine band?

BLUE said...

el tigre hit it close

BLUE said...

birdie for the man

El Padrino said...

my favorite costner movie is A Perfect World

BLUE said...

and now he's gonna bogie

BLUE said...

my favorite Costner movie is Tin Cup

BLUE said...

tiger saves it

tem said...

wtf is a Perfect World?

tem said...

Tin Cup was good.

tem said...

they announced the new CFO/COO at work today.

could get interesting for me here.

El Padrino said...

"wtf is a Perfect World?"

a costner movie

tem said...

but it won't.

it will be the same.

BLUE said...

"they announced the new CFO/COO at work today."

I didn't get this one either?

BLUE said...

"they announced the new CFO/COO at work today."

was it you?

tem said...

no it was not me. i don't do COO stuff.

i do more treasury stuff and kind of investing / loan stuff.

he does operational stuff and more investing/loan stuff than i do.

i think my new title is treasurer. which i hate because it is a bitch to write and spell.

tem said...

actually i don't know if i get a new title. i don't even have a title now. but this guy is kind of coming in and wants to do roles and responsibilities for everyone and give out titles.

i should shoot for Chief Treasury Officer. That sounds cool.

tem said...

right now our company is like a game of soccer with 6yr olds.

we know what direction we are going and we know what the goal is, but we are just a mass of people doing whatever we feel like and kind of keeping in mind that the ball is supposed to go into the goal.

the new strategic planning meeting starts in 2 minutes, so that should be fun.

Meeez said...

Director of The Treasury

Meeez said...

We'll come up with a title for you while you're in the meeting.

El Padrino said...

"which i hate because it is a bitch to write and spell."


welcome to my life

/el pad

El Padrino said...

i thought director of treasury was CFO

El Padrino said...

you should shoot for First Lord of The Treasury

it's Dusty in here said...

my favorite costner movie is A Perfect World



How is it not Bull Durham?

El Padrino said...

it's second and i feel like costner is just playing himself in that

Meeez said...

Goddamn mushrooms, fucking up our shit again today.

BLUE said...

hate it when that happnes

El Padrino said...

fucking mushrooms

Meeez said...

Ain't that the truth

El Padrino said...

June 11, ten thousand people line up in front of a gold shop to buy gold. The buyers lined up during the three day Dragon Boat Festival.


fucking China

BLUE said...

maybe the lakers should amnesty Kobe and sign CP3

it's Dusty in here said...

Free HBO, Starz, & Cinemax this weekend. Suite

BLUE said...

no good movies

I checked it out expecting to blow up my DVR, only thing decent is Dark Knight Rises

tem said...

"i thought director of treasury was CFO"

title would work like that, but the guy with that title doesn't do treasury stuff at all, so it doesn't really make sense.

BLUE said...

most CFO's don't manage treasury transaction and banking. maybe manage the relationship, but that's about it

it's Dusty in here said...

no good movies



shitty

it's Dusty in here said...

I was gonna buy Dark Knight Rises, so at least I can DVR that

El Padrino said...

"Free HBO, Starz, & Cinemax this weekend. Suite"


wonder if HBO will not charge me for the weekend?

s

El Padrino said...

skinemax baby, midnight

BLUE said...

rickie fowler going with the Detroit lions look

BLUE said...

groundhog just ran across the fairway in front of phil

El Padrino said...

what does that mean? Phil is hungry now?

can we call him Mitts

rip zeke

BLUE said...

it means that an actual groundhog was running across the fairway


fucking Pennsylvania

El Padrino said...

Pux Phil!

BLUE said...

mitts missed a hole in one by about 3 inches

BLUE said...

and then he missed the putt.

loser

tem said...

Is golfing on?

it's Dusty in here said...

i want to go golfing on sunday but it'll probably be too hot

tem said...

Take meiz's ac unit. He isn't using it.

Meeez said...

Oh yeah. AC is in full effect.

it's Dusty in here said...

Coolest national anthem in sports

Meeez said...

Why didn't we go to the Pawn Stars shop in Vegas?

Meeez said...

I'm gonna watch the hawkey

it's Dusty in here said...

Goooaaaallllll

it's Dusty in here said...

Why didn't we go to the Pawn Stars shop in Vegas?




Because tem was in church

Meeez said...

That selfish bastard.

Meeez said...

Had an awkward "we're idiots" moment with the AC today.

Trying to put the top mounting rail on the case, we determined the unit or parts were faulty because the holes were way too big for the screws. I call my landlord to tell her I'm taking it back to HD, she says OK. I was planning on exchanging it for a portable unit that is the same price. While I'm on the phone, my buddy Andy whispers "I figured something out". I'm too deep to end the phone call, and get the green light to get the portable AC. I hang up, & he says "I was screwing them in form the outside. They go in from the inside". I had to call back & tell landlady nevermind, we're idiots. Classic. And my buddy is a freaking engineer.

tem said...

My ufc picks are fifty fifty or so.

it's Dusty in here said...

Happy Fathers Day fellas

ToddPacker said...

"Happy Fathers Day fellas"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

it's Dusty in here said...

Happy Uncles Day to mize

Meeez said...

I'm hoping to feed that bastard child to Hunter Morris, Ryan Braun, Logan Schaefer, Wily Peralta, and Tyler Thornburg. Eating babies works for the Cardinals, why not us?

it's Dusty in here said...

What does that even mean?

Meeez said...

Cardinals eat babies.

Meeez said...

Babies are their lifeblood.

it's Dusty in here said...

mize, your name/pic is me in a few months

Me In A Few Months said...

Ugh

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino