Friday, May 10, 2013

Thought I'd come out here and try my swimming legs. But Lt. Dan you ain't got no legs.

May 10th, 2018 - What will we all be doing?

Can't believe I have a daughter that will one day be in the hands of another man.  Fuck that shit.  I got some Scarface sister hate somewhere deep in my belly.

I took the batteries out of my smoke alarm.  Living dangerously.

You know what chaps my ass?  Having to have all these store key card things on my keys in order to save a few bucks at the local pharmacies/supermarkets.  Put something on sale for everyone.  Fuck this store club shit.  It's corny.

This OJ is on sale $1.99.

Only if you have a club card sir.

Suck my dick you lil whore. (in my mind)  ::hands over club store card key thing::

I saw two red heads on the way home so now i'm fantasizing about boning a red head chick.  That pootie is probably mad pink.  Love that.  Maybe bussanut on the red pubes.

228 comments:

1 – 200 of 228   Newer›   Newest»
H Want Portugese Style said...

Love redheads. COLOV

H Want Portugese Style said...

Keith hates them

tem said...

Keith hates lots of things

ToddPacker said...

isn't it sea legs

BLUE said...

what's it matter lt. dan ain't got no legs

Vice Presidente said...

blue knows

Vice Presidente said...

i usually double check my movie quotes

Vice Presidente said...

tp is right

we are all right

Vice Presidente said...

redheads

would also like to see a freckled pussy like in my face not on tv or computer

BLUE said...

I can go either way on redheads.

some look damn fine...other just seem bitchy

H Want Portugese Style said...

You are right though. The pink really looks great against the pale complexion.

tem said...

red heads are good as long as they aren't all freckled up. too many freckles ruins it.

Vice Presidente said...

agree

BLUE said...

although i'm not a fan of the pink nipples/areola area

BLUE said...

girl I dated in collitch, her little sister was a redhead...she was smoking hot, but had too many freckles when she took her clothes off

Vice Presidente said...

"although i'm not a fan of the pink nipples/areola area"

light pink you mean, i hope

dark pink is money

H Want Portugese Style said...

Um... Why was your girl's little sister taking her clothes off in front of you?

H Want Portugese Style said...

Did Blue get a little sister/sister 3 way going??

Vice Presidente said...

told mom dukes i aint going there during my vacation

fuck that

BLUE said...

"Um... Why was your girl's little sister taking her clothes off in front of you? "

why not, we go to the beach and shit

BLUE said...

only actually saw her fully naked once

H Want Portugese Style said...

"only actually saw her fully naked once"

Elaborate

Vice Presidente said...

put your pants back on aitch

H Want Portugese Style said...

Just curious. Relax chief.

Vice Presidente said...

you relax champ

Vice Presidente said...

take it easy boss

Vice Presidente said...

easy guy

Vice Presidente said...

calm down killer

Vice Presidente said...

"An aerospace company says it has begun feasibility studies on a car capable of vertical takeoffs and landings."

suite, FAA gonna love it

Vice Presidente said...

s

BLUE said...

"Elaborate"

she wasn't ashamed of her body, because she was smoking hot, anyway, she just went ahead and change out of her swimsuit with me in the room...

and of course I looked

Stelio said...

Anna Jarvis organized the first Mother’s Day celebrations in 1908.

Stelio said...

put your pants back on aitch



said the guy who tries to figure out what position a women* got impregnated in

Meiz said...

"May 10th, 2018 - What will we all be doing?"

Figuring out if I can afford to go to the 2020 Ryder Cup matches

Vice Presidente said...

you cannot

Meiz said...

"Elaborate"

H always wants somebody to expound on some shit. Leave it alone once in a while.

BLUE said...

yeah, it's not like it's a great story.

not everyone bangs 4 chicks at once

BLUE said...

haven't you ever seen a random person naked and not had sex with them?

Vice Presidente said...

yes

Meiz said...

"you cannot"

Oh, I'm going. When the Ryder Cup is 40 minutes away, you go.

iamunstoppable said...

no shit, yall are still here.

iamunstoppable said...

dikembe threw out a finger wag

iamunstoppable said...

and Mr T will take pity on no one here

iamunstoppable said...

"haven't you ever seen a random person naked and not had sex with them?"

blue, thats called not sealing the deal.

Stelio said...

Oh, I'm going. When the Ryder Cup is 40 minutes away, you go.



You ain't going

Stelio said...

this guy

BLUE said...

"blue, thats called not sealing the deal."

that wasn't my question

BLUE said...

speaking of redheads, hot receptionist is a redhead...

but she's getting married now

Meiz said...

"You ain't going"

Bet?

BLUE said...

hell i'm going to the solheim cup because it's here

BLUE said...

it's actually in the town I live in...

partly because I just want to see the course

BLUE said...

it's actually in the town I live in...

partly because I just want to see the course

BLUE said...

it's actually in the town I live in...

partly because I just want to see the course

BLUE said...

partly because some of the chicks are hot

Stelio said...

Bet?



What if your* dead before then? How will I get paid?

Stelio said...

I saw the Solheim Cup when it was at Muirfield in like 98 or 99. I was working for the beer company at the time and had to work up there at the course.

Vice Presidente said...

stone cold

Meiz said...

"What if your* dead before then? How will I get paid?"

You're a herb.

Vice Presidente said...

herb

havent heard that word since 1995

Vice Presidente said...

IAM!

Stelio said...

You're a herb.



Weren't you the one who always said you were going to die young?

iamunstoppable said...

hows it hangin EP

Meiz said...

"Weren't you the one who always said you were going to die young?"


I am likely to die young, IMO. I've also contended since about 2003 that all I really need to do is make it past the 2020 Ryder Cup. I've been planning on going since then.

Vice Presidente said...

hows it hangin EP

thick and low

Stelio said...

I am likely to die young, IMO.



So I wasn't out of line. Got it.

Meiz said...

"So I wasn't out of line. Got it."

Putting words in my mouth? Making a broad assumption?

Meiz said...

Isn't 53 young?

Meiz said...

60?

Meiz said...

47?

Meiz said...

Who set the number?

BLUE said...

same people who set the heavy user number at mcdonalds


they die young

BLUE said...

"Who set the number?"

the band perry?

BLUE said...

"Who set the number?"

ke$ha

Meiz said...

"same people who set the heavy user number at mcdonalds"

Marketing strategists?

Stelio said...

Who set the number?



I vaguely remember you saying something about being dead before you're 40. This was a while ago

Vice Presidente said...

"Who set the number?"

Vegas

Stelio said...

Best parents, & best hospitals

tem said...

66 is aparently young if you go by what everyone told me about my dad

tem said...

i didn't think it was that young, but whatever. they all said it was.

ToddPacker said...

good to see iam is still alive

tem said...

yeah the iam sighting has me shook. only el pad seemed to acknowledge it. now tp...i figured more people would have said something.

what giveS?

Meiz said...

Mondo fish fry like what today.

Meiz said...

"66 is aparently young"

I'd say that's relatively young.

Stelio said...

i figured more people would have said something.



He usually comes in here and drops a comment and vanishes

Meiz said...

"yeah the iam sighting has me shook. only el pad seemed to acknowledge it. now tp...i figured more people would have said something."


I can see Iam on XBox whenever I might want to.

BLUE said...

i'm not acknowledging him because he's a ghost, and I don't believe in ghosts

tem said...

jason aldean believes in ghosts.

Meiz said...

I really overate today

Stelio said...

Today is rated just fine

/LP

tem said...

i think it is properly rated.

tem said...

i want direct tv, but i don't want to order it online or over the phone.

so i guess i don't want it that bad.

i also want internet though which seems to be a cluster fuck to get when you have direct tv.

Stelio said...

i also want internet though which seems to be a cluster fuck to get when you have direct tv.



not really

tem said...

still don't want to lock into a 2 or 3 year deal talking to someone on the phone.

H Want Portugese Style said...

"haven't you ever seen a random person naked and not had sex with them"

Yes, but usually there is some sort of story attached that makes it entertaining. I've never had a chick that I hadn't previously had relations with just walk into a room and gear down.

Meiz said...

I'm a fan of Time Warner. Most people can't believe that.

Stelio said...

My internets doesn't have a contract

Stelio said...

I've never had a chick that I hadn't previously had relations with just walk into a room and gear down.



So the first time you have sex with a chick she's fully clothed?

tem said...

"My internets doesn't have a contract"

was more talking the tv there. i wasn't too clear.

tem said...

time warner is ok.

its been choppy lately though. i should call and bitch and get an account credit.

tem said...

"So the first time you have sex with a chick she's fully clothed?"

having sex is different than walks into rooms and gears down.

Meiz said...

"Yes, but usually there is some sort of story attached that makes it entertaining."

Your topless roommate didn't have an attached story

Stelio said...

having sex is different than walks into rooms and gears down.



You didn't get my point. He said he's never had a chick he didn't previously have relations with come into the room and strip down. When he ploughs someone for the first time, do they not strip down?

tem said...

"do they not strip down?"

stripping down and walking into the room and stripping down are different.

tem said...

like if he helps them take off some clothes, that's different than them taking off all of their clothes.

Stelio said...

fucking tem

Stelio said...

like if he helps them take off some clothes, that's different than them taking off all of their clothes.



True. I would imagine that he hasn't helped them take off some clothes every single time.

tem said...

maybe he has every single first time.

Stelio said...

stop it

tem said...

you bully H too much stelio

tem said...

H has feelings too.

Stelio said...

feelings of hunger

/elevator guy

BLUE said...

"still don't want to lock into a 2 or 3 year deal talking to someone on the phone"

go to best buy...the one by my house has a person you can talk to and buy directv from

BLUE said...

" I've never had a chick that I hadn't previously had relations with just walk into a room and gear down."

relations as in sex, or relations like you knew

because you had a topless roommate

and, I knew her, she was my girlfriend's sister, had known her for a long time

BLUE said...

tell them blue sent you so you can get a directv credit on your bill

Stelio said...

but only do that if blue plays ncaa this week

tem said...

i played ncaa

Vice Presidente said...

time warner is a piece of shit

Vice Presidente said...

everybody knows this

tem said...

i don't mind time warner actually.

i just think i'd save some serious dollars with direct tv and get the nfl package free for 1 year.

i think my monthly cable and internet bill would go down like $80 for 12 months then like $20 for the next 12.

Vice Presidente said...

why dont they just rule rose out for the rest of the year

this game to game decision thing is retarded and he's a pussy

a giant one

BLUE said...

grant hill doesn't think he's a pussy

tem said...

he likes being in the news.

if he is ruled out they will stop talking about him.

BLUE said...

"Crews today rescued a woman who had survived in the rubble of the collapsed Bangladesh building for 17 days"

tem said...

she must have been trapped in the break room with a vending machine.

she lived on Mrs. Freshley's

Stelio said...

Pray for jug and his family


/H

H Want Portugese Style said...

"So the first time you have sex with a chick she's fully clothed?"

You know, when you say stupid things like this to try and run me down, you really just make yourself fucking retarded.

Congrats, you've said something more stupid than anything EP would say.

H Want Portugese Style said...

"relations as in sex, or relations like you knew"

Yes, I meant sex

"because you had a topless roommate"

First time she got naked was an entertaining story.

Stelio said...

oh no, mean words

H Want Portugese Style said...

"Pray for jug and his family

/H"

Never once did I say pray for me. Not once. Not anything even close to it. So seriously, fuck yourself and stop reaching. When you used to make jokes at least they were semi-accurate and funny.

Stelio said...

H needs some sleep or something something

Stelio said...

H might be the angriest person I've ever met

ns

tem said...

he is portugese*

Stelio said...

go fuck yourself, tem

/H

BLUE said...

"H needs some sleep or something something"

or to get laid

BLUE said...

"H might be the angriest person I've ever met"

I don't read his comment as angry, more that he just can't believe has stupid some people can be when they are trying to tembag

iamunstoppable said...

that's gotta be zeke stirring shit up as always. not much changes, huh boys?! btw, tell me u guys didnt run beth off...

Stelio said...

jug is beth

Stelio said...

I don't read his comment as angry, more that he just can't believe has stupid some people can be when they are trying to tembag


Isn't the point of tembagging to appear to be stupid

H Want Portugese Style said...

"that's gotta be zeke stirring shit up as always. not much changes, huh boys?! btw, tell me u guys didnt run beth off..."

Keith and Meiz did.

H Want Portugese Style said...

Zeke died.

Stelio said...

Keith and Meiz did.



Shit happens

Stelio said...

beth is kicking my ass at golfing picks

Meiz said...

"Keith and Meiz did."


Remember the 1st night in Vegas, and you wanted to take a quick poll on who would be the rapiest around Beth? What were the results of that poll?

H Want Portugese Style said...

"Remember the 1st night in Vegas, and you wanted to take a quick poll on who would be the rapiest around Beth? What were the results of that poll?"

El Padrino was the unanimous pick if I recall correctly

Stelio said...

I think LP would be the unanimous pick for being most rapiest around any chick

Meiz said...

Well then

Stelio said...

El Padrino was the unanimous pick if I recall correctly



mize. Does this look like an apology to you?

Meiz said...

Lil bit. Lil bit.

H Want Portugese Style said...

Did we say Meiz?

Stelio said...

no

BLUE said...

apology accepted

Meiz said...

Of those in attendance, H was the rapey poll winner.

Meiz said...

Nori!

tem said...

Iam is probably shook about jug being beth

tem said...

Zeke didn't die.....he quit.

Stelio said...

Nazr Mohammed is still in the NBA?

Stelio said...

I don't remember the rapiest convo in Vegas

tem said...

Actually he didn't quit his wife wouldn't let him play anymore.

tem said...

I think I remember it. Blue got decent marks for third place I think.

Meiz said...

"I don't remember the rapiest convo in Vegas"

1st night, drinking pitchers of beer after you guys made your UFC picks at Bally's. I was eating Sbarro.

tem said...

Summit was great

Meiz said...

Shole was. Summit 4 gonna be like, Me & H. Maybe Kod or Blue

tem said...

Am I not invited?

Meiz said...

I'm assuming you'll be on baby lockdown

tem said...

Quite possible. But I hope not.

Meiz said...

Shelby Miller retired 27 straight batters tonight. He gave up a leadoff single in the 1st.

tem said...

I knew a girl named shelby. She was hot. But had a mega stuck up attitude. She wasn't hot enough to pull that kind of attitude off.

Meiz said...

I know a girl named Shelley. She is the most hopeless romantic on earth. We were going to get a place together, but she had a Husky.

Drunk sex was my original motivation.

Meiz said...

Goddammit, I love the Timberlake album

H Want Portugese Style said...

Which was the bigger deterrent? The dog or her being a hopeless romantic? NS

BLUE said...

I played NCAA

Meiz said...

"Which was the bigger deterrent? The dog or her being a hopeless romantic? NS"


The Husky. She has a smaller dog, but property owners are all caps NO on renting to someone with a big dog.

tem said...

Put the dog on an extreme diet

Meiz said...

This was 3 years ago, Tem. This chick's gone full-on downtown snob since then.

Meiz said...

I knew getting a place to share would end badly. NFW she'd have stayed in a place for 2 years with my reclusive ass.

Meiz said...

Blue riding with the Gadsden flag this long makes me wonder if he's one of those loony Libertarians.

ns

tem said...

She might not have stayed but you might have gotten laid

Meiz said...

Oh, definitely. We've had that tension since highschool.

Meiz said...

So much, that I could still, in the right setting, just bluntly ask her and she'd be like "Yep".

BLUE said...

Right setting= her drunk and lonely

Meiz said...

= every damn day

Meiz said...

This shouldn't be a thing.

Meiz said...

I blame H.

Meiz said...

I'm walking tho

tem said...

Do it to it

BLUE said...

Rockies have been no-hit for 15 straight innings

BLUE said...

Ha the xnij worked

H Want Portugese Style said...

"I blame H"

What am I getting blamed for?

Stelio said...

Goddamn flu

Stelio said...

I've lost 8 lbs today

H Want Portugese Style said...

H found them

/elevator guy

Stelio said...

Ha

Stelio said...

NCAA advanced

Stelio said...

Knicks!

Meiz said...

"Goddamn flu"

diarrhea from bad pizza on Friday isn't the flu.

Stelio said...

Except I had it earlier this week, and bgas had it earlier in the week and cmk had it

Meiz said...

"Victorino just hit the RF fence HARD trying in vain to track down Bonifacio's two-run homer. Still lying on the field, trainers en route."


Hahahahaha

Meiz said...

"Except I had it earlier this week, and bgas had it earlier in the week and cmk had it"


Finally some context, LP

Stelio said...

Ok

H Want Portugese Style said...

old

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 228   Newer› Newest»

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino