Wednesday, January 23, 2013

your sex takes me to paradise

Cherokee Nation Government solutions is interested in me according to an email that I got from a recruiter.

bgblue got into some charter school thing near our house. She's gonna go to all day kindergarden and shit costs like $450/month. That's a lot of cheese to teach a kid how to tie their shoes, and take naps. Luckily its just for one year. I guess blue can't buy his bentley this summer.

I think it's funny that the Raiders feel like their coach sabotaged their chances in the SuperBowl™ all those years ago. Maybe they should have said something, you know, before now.

SuperBowl™ preview...one of the teams will have a turnover, and the other team will score points off of it.

Kevin Johnson, who is the mayor of Sacramento where I grew up and my parents live, is a joke. He's spending more time trying to figure out how to keep an NBA team there than he is running his city. Now honestly I don't know what a mayor really does in their free time, but hitching your wagon to keeping a shitty team that nobody really cares about, maybe worry about cleaning up the schools and parks or something. He has "secured 20 investors who have pledged at least $1mm each to be part of the ownership group"...great, they only need another 510 investors...way to go.

here's a hint, if you're an indian woman (dot not feather) maybe don't ride the bus after dark.

Also beware of people stealing your photos from facebook and using them in an elaborate "catfish" scheme.

That's it...no more. TCS has begun...whatta gotta

310 comments:

1 – 200 of 310   Newer›   Newest»
El Padrino said...

FIRST

El Padrino said...

Segway fails

made my morning

BLUE said...

i got fucked during recruiting, the #1 recruit, when I called him the website froze up, now keith is going to end up getting him...fucker

Keef said...

There are about 16 million thunderstorms on Earth every year.

Keef said...

i got fucked during recruiting, the #1 recruit, when I called him the website froze up, now keith is going to end up getting him...fucker



all part of my elaborate scheme

El Padrino said...

"the website froze up"

fucking Al Gore

BLUE said...

that dude doesn't really fit in anywhere for me, but he was the #1 guy so I wanted him...damn

Keef said...

I've got six 5-star guys so far

BLUE said...

i tried a different approach this season and it didn't work

i don't really care because me team is loaded with Freshman this year anyway

Keef said...

wall

tem said...

i played missouri close.

their D was faster than my O.

tem said...

LBs kept just running around the linemen that were supposed to be blocking them.

tem said...

keith knows what play i used to finally move the ball a bit.

tem said...

the website is OK for recruiting, but it fucks up a lot.

BLUE said...

i destroyed the sun devils..

Keef said...

keith knows what play i used to finally move the ball a bit.



I don't run screen plays

Keef said...

that play is for cheaters

Keef said...

STOP CHEATING, TEM!

tem said...

i didn't say you ran them. i said you knew what play i ran.

tem said...

and i was correct.

BLUE said...

cheater

Keef said...

i didn't say you ran them. i said you knew what play i ran.



I didn't say you said I ran them. I said I don't use them because they are cheating

Jugdish said...

i got fucked during recruiting, the #1 recruit, when I called him the website froze up, now keith is going to end up getting him...fucker



he wasn't real...you got catfished

Keef said...

Between your wizardry and offensive play calling sketchiness, it's an uneven playing field

Jugdish said...

tem is lance armstronging you in ncaa

El Padrino said...

why is a screen play cheating?

Keef said...

This is an AB conversation, LP. See your way out of it.

Keef said...

S

Keef said...

why is a screen play cheating?



You'd have to ask tem. He's the one that does it.

Meiz said...

Tem's a cheater. I knew it. I bet he used to jetpack in Madden back in the day, too.

Meiz said...

I think the commissioner should drop the sanction hammer on Wava.

Meiz said...

Maybe ban the coach and send them to the FCS.

El Padrino said...

tem is interviewing with a pro team now

Meiz said...

The Ivy League is not in the FBS. I did not know that.

And they play a strict 10 game schedule. They also refuse to play in the D-II postseason tournament because of academic concerns.

Keef said...

I think the commissioner should drop the sanction hammer on Wava.



That is being discussed

Keef said...

Wava may or may not play in the Big Sky Conference next season

BLUE said...

"They also refuse to play in the D-II postseason tournament because of academic concerns."

they're 1-AA

and some teams do play in the playoffs..Penn was in the 1-AA playoffs a few years back.

BLUE said...

relegation.

i like it

Meiz said...

"they're 1-AA"

Same difference

BLUE said...

yahuge difference

Keef said...

they're 1-AA



FCS

Meiz said...

"yahuge difference"

If they can't win a BCS title, it's the same thing.

BLUE said...

"If they can't win a BCS title, it's the same thing."

so they're like a big east team?

Keef said...

so they're like a big east team?


Or Sconnie

BLUE said...

I like her

Meiz said...

Sure

El Padrino said...

i like her too

BLUE said...

"Sure"

forgot that meiz didn't like woman* in bikinis

or woman*

Jugdish said...

or women at bikinis...

Keef said...

or women at bikinis...



Still bottles* my mind

Jugdish said...

Te'o Says He Briefly Lied



i also briefly lied


/lance armstrong

BLUE said...

Te'o should have kept to his story...that he had a girlfriend and she died

the people of the world be damned..

Meiz said...

"Still bottles* my mind"

Those broads were run of the mill 19 year old girls

BLUE said...

he's just protecting her because she died and he doesn't want her family to get inundated with media requests

Jugdish said...

he's just protecting her because she died and he doesn't want her family to get inundated with media requests



he i really a hero

Jugdish said...

is

BLUE said...

yes

it's the hawaiian in him

Jugdish said...

Scallenge

Jugdish said...

Lp

Meiz said...

"it's the hawaiian in him"

Te'o's a meth head?

Meiz said...

Good god, it must suck to live in New York

El Padrino said...

micro units nice

let's jam more people here

El Padrino said...

MOVE

/keef

BLUE said...

"Scallenge"

no joke

anthony carter and earl boykins play pickup basketball at the gym I go to sometimes.

when they want to dominate, it's no problem.

the frustrating thing is that those guys just don't miss most the time.

Keef said...

duh

Keef said...

duh was re: MOVE

Keef said...

Boykins was in your all white players league

BLUE said...

i nerve played in an all white league

i wish..maybe i'd be an allstar

El Padrino said...

fucking black people

Keef said...

i nerve played in an all white league



Sorry. All white except for 1 black guy league

Meiz said...

"anthony carter and earl boykins play pickup basketball at the gym I go to sometimes.

when they want to dominate, it's no problem."

A couple guys I follow/follow me on twitter have played against Baron Davis and Khalid El Amin. I guess Baron was just raining in thirty-footers and dunking all over the place, and El-Amin was killing everybody, too. Crossovers, spins, all that shit. Just putting dudes in the blender.

Meiz said...

I love those stories

Jugdish said...

my niece beat baron davis in one on one recently. baron now follows her on twitter

Keef said...

hahaha

Keef said...

fucking jug

Meiz said...

The one dude said the secret to guarding Baron was just to sag way off him and let him knock in a super deep three. That way, you stayed on your feet and also didn't get dunked on.

Keef said...

re: the wicked/mad talk from yesterday. We have a few people from NoCal in our office here. They use "hella" a lot

BLUE said...

we use helluva

BLUE said...

i know a guy from new york, he uses taste instead of tastes

Jugdish said...

pelicans

BLUE said...

junior seau's family is blaming the NFL for his suicide

BLUE said...

probably not suing USC, or his Highschool, or the popwarner league he played in though

Jugdish said...

The pelican may not fit perfectly with the spirit of New Orleans itself, but the bird adorns Louisiana’s state flag and state seal as the official state bird.



most of the people in NO probably don't even know that stuff

BLUE said...

i'm pretty sure the NFL has to have a liability waiver that guys sign, i'd think

BLUE said...

"Back in December, the NBA’s attorney filed trademarks on five potential team names (Pelicans, Rougarou, Mosquitos, Swamp Dogs and Bullsharks)"

Rougarou sounds awesome

Keef said...

pelicans



jugdrino

Keef said...

most of the people in NO probably don't even know that stuff



That's not racist at all

Jugdish said...

some pelican logos

Jugdish said...

That's not racist at all


to the white people in NO?

tem said...

"Wava may or may not play in the Big Sky Conference next season"


if you wanted to fuck me over you'd make me play too many FCS teams so i wasn't bowl eligible.

tem said...

although i don't know if the game will let you do that.

tem said...

never really tried it.

Keef said...

if you wanted to fuck me over you'd make me play too many FCS teams so i wasn't bowl eligible.



Note to self...

Keef said...

Although I'm pretty sure that is unpossible*. You have to play like 8 or 9 conference games.

tem said...

"Tem's a cheater. I knew it. I bet he used to jetpack in Madden back in the day, too"

i just went to jug's neices camp to learn to play better.

also, Madden had a jetpack cheat? I have never really played much Madden.

tem said...

"You have to play like 8 or 9 conference games."

you'd decimate the big east, stick me back in it. stick me with 5 conference games and 7 FCS games.

tem said...

decimate meaning remove Cuse, Pitt, Boise, Uconn, etc.

Meiz said...

"some pelican logos"

I like #1 & #4 best.

Jugdish said...

I like #1 & #4 best.


you can find pelican logos like that anywhere



s

Keef said...

also, Madden had a jetpack cheat? I have never really played much Madden.



Didn't Madden have a bunch of cheats that you could earn back in the day? Like narrowing the goalposts, getting 5 downs, getting a tailwind for kicks, getting a headwind for the other team's kicks, etc...

Keef said...

I like #1 & #4 best.



I bet you do

Keef said...

you'd decimate the big east, stick me back in it. stick me with 5 conference games and 7 FCS games.




Or I can just leave it like it is and you can continue to cheat

tem said...

i like how Seattle is saying things like "it is great to get our Sonics back"

fuck you Seattle you aren't getting your Sonics back you are stealing someone elses' team.

it'd be like if H got dumped by some girl who left him for Meiz. And then LPs wife left LP for H and H was all like "it is great to have my girl back"

it is a completely different girl.

Meiz said...

"also, Madden had a jetpack cheat? I have never really played much Madden."

There was some glitch on earlier online play that if you sent super elite WRs on a fly and just chucked it up, the offense would come up with the ball just about every time. Never saw it because I didn't have interwebs video gaming back then. Just read about it.

tem said...

"Or I can just leave it like it is and you can continue to cheat"

haters can just hate.

tem said...

"super elite WRs "

like the Giants WRs?

Keef said...

it'd be like if H got dumped by some girl who left him for Meiz



Oh man, that would be awesome.

Meiz said...

"like the Giants WRs?"


My dong is rock hard right now

Keef said...

haters can just hate.



If we play in the BCS title game this season, tOSU will beat wava by at least 21. AHIK*

Meiz said...

"Oh man, that would be awesome."


It would be the single greatest troll ever in the history of history. New goal?

Jugdish said...

New goal?



what if she is across the street?


s

tem said...

"If we play in the BCS title game this season, tOSU will beat wava by at least 21. AHIK*"


maybe if i don't run any screen passes. ABIIK

Keef said...

maybe if i don't run any screen passes. ABIIK




I got that figgered* out

El Padrino said...

I love those stories

^this

tem said...

el pad, should I buy coke stock or GE stock today?

BLUE said...

doesn't H have to have a girl first?

El Padrino said...

sure why not, i prefer coke if it matters

tem said...

coke it is. thanks and regards.

Keef said...

doesn't H have to have a girl first?


That's why he's posting that he has the plague on FB. he knows all the girls will respong with "awwww, hope you feel better", then he can pounce

Keef said...

respond*

Meiz said...

"That's why he's posting that he has the plague on FB. he knows all the girls will respong with "awwww, hope you feel better", then he can pounce"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Also, let it be noted that H knows not to overthink it. He knows his target demo.

tem said...

H is wicked smat

BLUE said...

maybe he's crazy smart

Keef said...

H is wicked smat



Except for the whole Belichick comment

tem said...

belichick hasn't won since he stopped cheating

tem said...

TMQ told me that

Keef said...

Maybe he should run a screen play every play

El Padrino said...

TMQ is mad smart

El Padrino said...

"Maybe he should run a screen play every play"

Andy Reid approves

Jugdish said...

This has been in the news a lot around here over the past week

Meiz said...

Basically, I have a $10,000 copy machine that doesn't work for shit and we won't get it replaced. Fuck this shit.

Keef said...

This has been in the news a lot around here over the past week



Maybe you should watch what you say next time, jug

S

Meiz said...

Blue, we need a new CFO. Get over here.

El Padrino said...

cool story bro

Meiz said...

If anybody's spying on me, I didn't mean that. Sara's the best.

tem said...

"Maybe he should run a screen play every play"

he ran one and scored a TD, but then there was a holding call so it got called back.


didn't score a td. got it. /as

Meiz said...

Food industry jargon acronyms quick tip.

IQF - individually quick frozen

RTU - ready to use

RTB - ready to bake

El Padrino said...

Food industry jargon acronyms quick tip.

IQF - individually quick frozen

RTU - ready to use

RTB - ready to bake

LOL - laugh out loud

/Aitch

tem said...

what does individually quick frozen mean?

i understand what all the words mean, but i don't understand them when combined as such.

El Padrino said...

means frozen food

tem said...

so for instance, frozen pierogis are individually quick frozen?

Keef said...

Freezing food slows down decomposition by turning residual moisture into ice, inhibiting the growth of most bacterial species. In the food commodity industry, the process is called IQF or Individually Quick Frozen

Keef said...

Freezing food slows down decomposition by turning residual moisture into ice, inhibiting the growth of most bacterial species. In the food commodity industry, the process is called IQF or Individually Quick Frozen

Keef said...

we had frozen pierogis last night. bgas fucking devours those things.

Meiz said...

"so for instance, frozen pierogis are individually quick frozen?"

No, not likely. IQF items are usually raw when frozen, like burger patties, raw chicken products, etc...

tem said...

so instead of saying it is frozen, the food industry says it is individually quick frozen?

ok. they must like to add words that aren't needed. it is funny because they kept frozen in there. they could just say frozen.

tem said...

ok so IQF is for raw meats and a pierogi is just normal frozen?

fucking food industry be crazy mad complex.

Keef said...

pierogis are pre-cooked before they're frozen

Keef said...

they have to freeze the raw shit quick before they get the plague

Meiz said...

Tem might hate this.

BIB is Bib or bag in a box, but definitely not boil in bag.

Meiz said...

"ok so IQF is for raw meats and a pierogi is just normal frozen?"

Yes, and raw eggs.

Keef said...

I know of BIB. I worked for a concessions company in Cbus

Meiz said...

Keith gets a gold star today

Keef said...

yay

Keef said...

We would get a lot of damaged BIB, where the box broke open and the bag fell out. We'd call those BOB

tem said...

i bet they freeze things together and they aren't individually frozen at all.

like each pack gets its own freezer. i doubt it. it should be MQF. mass quick frozen.

Jugdish said...

or just frozen

Keef said...

They still have to separate the frozen shit or else it would just be one giant frozen ball of shit

Jugdish said...

you eat pieces of shit for breakfast?

Jugdish said...

happy hour today after work...suite

Meiz said...

They have happy hour every day after work around here

Jugdish said...

well...one that i will be attending

Meiz said...

It really irks me that our Logistics Coordinator can't spell commodity. She spells it commoNdity

tem said...

maybe it is a comment on society on her part.

Meiz said...

Interesting theory

BLUE said...

her way makes sense though

they are common goods

BLUE said...

commonodity

BLUE said...

commonoddity

Jugdish said...

can you use it in a sentence?




s

El Padrino said...

"maybe it is a comment on society on her part."

that's what i do

Keef said...

hilarity

Meiz said...

El P, what do the Koreans charge you to do laundry, and have you ever lost your ticky?

Jugdish said...

he te'oed the school

BLUE said...

i'll te'o your face

Jugdish said...

blue kekua

BLUE said...

heath ledger something something

Jugdish said...

i te'oed this blog with the beth character for years

BLUE said...

so did steve

BLUE said...

normal day for meiz

Jugdish said...

8.Drank the contents of the vacuum.




gross

Meiz said...

I've had to hurry out of the shower everyday this week

tem said...

i miss the beth character, but now that i know she was a fake i am OK with her not posting.

Keef said...

you should probably see a doc about that

tem said...

nah, i think i am ok.

Jugdish said...

4.Dodged bullets fired by LaDonna Lands.



Harry you're alive...and you're a horrible shot!

Keef said...

nah, i think i am ok.



So you think

El Padrino said...

"El P, what do the Koreans charge you to do laundry, and have you ever lost your ticky?"

50 Cents a pound

BARGAIN

and yes no ticky no laundry is a fallacy, i've lost ticket before
they sort of have to know you i imagine

Keef said...

50 Cents a pound



How much do you spend a month on laundry? Over $100?

Meiz said...

Follow up question, Are you sure they're Korean?

Meiz said...

"How much do you spend a month on laundry? Over $100?"

200lbs seems like an awful lot.

tem said...

"So you think"

yeah, that's what i said.

tem said...

i have no ability to translate 50 cents a pound into a per load amount.

how much does laundry weight? i have no idea.

El Padrino said...

THE MOVERS ARE HERE!!!

FUCK JERSEY CITY

HAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHA

Keef said...

200lbs seems like an awful lot.

Yeah maybe. But he's got 4 people. If I had to guess, my laundry basket each week is probably 20-30 lbs

El Padrino said...

"Follow up question, Are you sure they're Korean?"

no, just call them that, think they are Shangai Chinese

El Padrino said...

60 pounds a week, give or take, sometimes less i wear my shit several times the kids and wife fucking once they suck

so $30 x 4 = 120 a month
my dry cleaning bill is higher

COLOV

Keef said...

spendy

Keef said...

MOVE

El Padrino said...

"i have no ability to translate 50 cents a pound into a per load amount."


me either as long as i dont have to do it

Keef said...

colov

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