Monday, December 30, 2013


How was everyone's weekend? It's New Years week and stuff. NFL playoffs are here. Glad the Bengals are playing the Chargers and not the Steelers this week. Hopefully they can put up 40-something on SD and Dalton doesn't throw 4 picks again. I would like their chances playing up in Foxboro the following week.

Friday, December 27, 2013


You ever get embarrassed by liking a song you should not like? You know in public. One Direction, Story of my Life. Pretty good song. Fuck.

I gots some bar shit for xmas. My family are enablers. Blood is on their hands.

Gotta rip like a 12-4 this week to hit 5 hundy, 11-5 last week too little too late as they say. (well I could technically get less but would need a stellar playoff run- which I could do I've done before...) I hate week 17 from a betting perspective. You are not in the locker room getting a sense of if the guys are up for these games. Most are meaningless. I gotta check the ones that are meaningful and nail those. Like Indy clinched but are giving 11.5 to Jax? They pulling Luck no? So confusing week 17 could be. Gotta do some homework.

Do you guys know any dudes that don't watch football? Very odd to me. Especially the ones that confess to watching no sports at all that is just sick.

Your bresasis is my breakfast.

Jigga still dropping gems on em 17 years later

Aitch sorry to hear about your grandma, like I said a few weeks ago if you are lucky enough to have them still around you did ok kid. You did ok. They are gems.

Bogle Old Wine Zinfnadel is am impressive bottle of wine if you ever want to bring a nice bottle someplace you are invited to.

Truth be told I'm not a new years fan. Just another day to me. Resolutions are for the birds.

Tuesday, December 24, 2013

Christmas Eve

Merry Christmas Eve!

I think Spiff missed winning the money league by like 5 points, that sucks. At least you didn't finish in the bottom 3rd.

From yesterday's post: "tem don't like cold." There is a difference between cold and minus 21. Fuck minus 21.

I'm glad that the Niners won the last Candlestick game. I have no idea why it is the last game. I assume they are moving to LA or building a new stadium. The old stadium looked fine. Whatever, it was probably a shit hole, I don't know.

Good lord the Nets suck. I wonder if hiring a coach that had no experience was a good idea. Too bad nobody told the owner that beforehand. oh wait everyone did.

OK, time to go to the airport. Flight to MN leaves at 11 or something. No idea when the flight from MN to ND is.

Monday, December 23, 2013

merry Christmas eve eve

company shuts down till new year's, forced PTO. Likely lost $$$ league title, only 2 of my guys showed up. need crabtree>Vernon+26 woe

Friday, December 20, 2013

the pussy song

Haven't made my picks yet been a crazy week plus I'm closing in on .500 so I'm being cautious with them. Few gems I care to share now:

dallas is a lock from what I can tell over wash -2.5
Denver -10.5 gonna make it rain in Houston

What are the kids getting this year?

Big gifts in my house is that Xfinity game from Disney for the Wii and this big ass table that is a replica of Radiator Springs for the boy. He's gonna stroke out when he sees it.

cmep got some uggs not as ugly as the regular ones some different ugg shit, and some clothes

both my jew colleagues have off after Christmas but the other 3 catholic vp's are in? what's wrong with that pic.

stop taking Christ out of Christmas you bastards!

the duck dynasty guy has a point about vagina though

not really

bgep is in a church christmas play this sunday, might cry

prolly gonna keep the 2nd job one more year

fucking knicks

fucking college basketball

fucking north korea, so threatening with their faxes

Thursday, December 19, 2013

Post Title

I'm still getting "Mike Mike Mike...guess what day it is???" comments every Wednesday at work...and some non-Wednesdays too.

Baby stuff...we started him on formula at a month old so now I can help with some of the feedings. I think I get less sleep than cmjug now. She is like tem and needs a solid 9 hours of sleep a night to function, so she has been going to bed in the 9 o'clock hour and I stay up and feed him closer to midnight and he will usually sleep after that until about 6:30 or 7 in the morning. I really enjoy those 2 or 3 hours when its just he and I at night...good stuff!

mize's new glasses?

Is anyone traveling for the holidays? We're doing Christmas with my family on the evening of the 25th, and with her family the next day. Everyone is local, so no traveling more than 20 minutes.

Wednesday, December 18, 2013


Brad Pitt is 50 today.  All the women of the world are rejoicing...and kod

49er fans are planning on putting up a billboard in Seattle.  What a great way to waste your money. I guess the recession is over.

I love Jerry Jones.  He's like I would be if I was an NFL owner.  I'd think I was smart enough to be the GM, and make excuses all the time.  And anyone who says different doesn't get to play fantasy football anymore.

Bowl games start soon right?  I mean there are like 43 of them so they have to begin soon.  Remember when it was a big deal when a school got a bowl berth, now it seems like everyone goes to a bowl.  I often wonder who the person is that watches all the bowl games, I probably will watch maybe 3.

Apparently we strip searched some hot Indian (dot not feather) woman in New York.  Good looking out EP.  The Indian government is outraged, but yet they don't care that on average a woman is raped every 6 seconds in India.  So that's some good double talk.

I did not win the lottery, but maybe Beth did.  I heard some folks on the radio talking about lottery winners and that at the one year mark after they've won, on average they are more unhappy than a quadriplegic who had a tragic accident is at the one year mark after the accident.  I find this very hard to believe, unless maybe the lottery winners are sad because they don't get government assistance and foodstamps anymore.

Screech is sad he made a didn't work out quite as well for him as it did for Kim K.

Tuesday, December 17, 2013

2 episodes

So like the Family Guy dog (spoiler alert) was dead for like 2 episodes. Hilarious. News outlets were posting about how big of a deal it was that the character got killed off. Anyone who watched the show knew he was coming back soon. 2 episodes is even sooner than I thought. The writers of that show are rolling around laughing at America. USA USA USA USA

So the Ravens kicker got a ton of Fantasy points. He probably swung some playoff games. But if you were playing Charles you got toasted. If you beat Charles then that other team was a 1 trick pony.

Ever wonder what would happen if you got sent back in time and had to fend for yourself? Would you tower over the people of the 1500s? If you got stuck in the woods would you even know how to start a fire? If you got sent way back would you just get eaten by a tiger? I'd be pretty screwed if there were no humans around to help me out. I'd probably figure it out Tom Hanks castaway style, but I wouldn't have a volleyball friend. I'd have to make friends with a squirrel or something.

bgtem crawls backwards. It is funny to watch her back into things and then get stuck. Then she cries, that part is only funny for a minute or so. I am a terrible parent.

At the end of the year everyone wants paid. I hope I win the mega millions. I will loan some money to the company to make my job easier. Cash management is a breeze with lots of cash.

Monday, December 16, 2013

Jamaal Charles Da Gawd

got me in my $$$ champyunship* game

in work $ league, lost in semis, team shat the bed as a whole, just trying to get my 20 back now

Friday, December 13, 2013

El Piacks

Fans of my personal blog back in the day you may recall around this time I would always put together a list of gifts I want for myself some included links some were basic items like socks. A feel like a man can never have enough socks. Well you're in for a treat. I do miss my blog. I want to sometimes post things but can't I lost the domain for the site google be sending me bills to renew but I blew it. No time for that shit. Anyway here is a complete list of what I asked for from Santa.

Also I'm off today, last day off before the end of year grind.

As always, a taser.
I need a watch to wear on the weekend and for casual events but I'll pick that out.
Scotch Decanter, preferably initialed and made from fine crystal.
A cast iron pan (el pad has a cast iron pot)
a pizza peel
A Kindle Fire HD I can call my own and not share it with my bratty entitled kids.
These for my whiskey/bourbon nights.
16.5 neck/32 sleeve blue shirts from my go to dress shirt.
These Nikes.
Blanton's Single Barrel 93 Bourbon
Four Roses Single Barrel Bourbon
Elijah Craig 18 yr Bourbon
Jack Daniels
Jameson Irish Whiskey
Glenlivet 12yr single malt scotch
A pair of flannel pajama bottoms
Pack of Stafford medium sized white crewneck t shirts
Ninja Ultima Blender
This cocktail book.
This knife
Whatever the best cordless drill is. You home owners would know.
Johnston and murphy loafers size 12 - black
Nike sweatpants, large
CIA kitchen towels
Tequilla from the greatest fighter to come out of Mexico.
Wild Turkey 101 Proof bourbon
JW Platinum

As far as the picks I don't feel like typing them out. So here.
St Loo

Thursday, December 12, 2013

on the road again

Heading to Oklahoma for a wedding this weekend...taking the little man on his first road trip. cmjug's cousin is getting married this weekend. They better have a buffet, otherwise, what's the point? S

Have a good weekend!

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

new job

I've been offered a new job at work.  It's a lateral move, but I'm not sure if I like it yet or not.  I go from leading a team, to working on my own.  For the finance guy(s), we're basically splitting accounting and FP&A into two roles, and I've been doing both for the past few years.  Now I have to choose which role I want.  Current CFO is telling me the path to CFO goes through FP&A, but I'm not so sure.  Crossroads are the worse*

I had way too much fun in LA last week.  I led a regional management year end meeting/wrap up, and then attended the regional holiday party.  The regional manager there is way super hot, and I've had a "crush" on her for about 2 years.  Come to find out, she's a super cool chick as well.  Having said all of that, there is no way I'd ever do anything.  But, it's fun to hang out with hot chicks who are aspiring actresses and the what not, and be the center of attention.  This was one of those times where "if I were single" is a common thought.  Anyway, on to the fun part.  I drank way too much, had a great time with the people, some chicks passed out, we ended up back at a hotel room raiding the mini-bar and the bottle of Patron that is ridiculously expensive in a hotel.  I don't remember getting back to my room, next thing I know, it's 8am and I have no clue how I got back.  Woke up, puked, went back to sleep.  I had an 11am flight out of LAX, woke up again at 9:30 and realized that there isn't any way I'm making it to the airport and drop off my car and get through security in time to make my flight.  So fuck it, I go back to bed.  First time I've ever missed a flight in my life, but for my pain, I get on the next flight and I'm upgraded to first  Except that about 10 minutes into the flight, I have to puke again.  First time I've ever used one of those air sick bags...they work like a champ though.  Flight attendant gets pissed at me because I get up and go to the bathroom while the fasten seatbelt sign is still on..."Fuck off lady, I just puked" (show her the bag).  Maybe she thought I was going to bomb the plane, I don't know.  But I get home and all is swell, except my shoulder hurts like hell.  I can't remember what the fuck happened to my shoulder...then a memory pops into my mind, last one of the night.  Some stupid fat girl decided to bite me, and hard, and it hurt like hell then, and it still hurts.  Luckily since she bit through 2 shirts no teeth marks or anything because that would be really hard to explain..  Seriously on Thursday, I felt like the guys from the original hangover walking around going "what the hell happened last night".  Without the tiger and the chicken of course.

I head to Chicago tomorrow morning, I'm staying downtown, so any suggestions for a place for lunch would be appreciated.  Dinner and all that jazz is all arranged, so I just need to take care of my mid-day nourishment.  My flight home on Friday is at 4, hopefully shouldn't have any trouble making that flight.

Tuesday, December 10, 2013


Work is a shit storm, so that is nice. It is always bad in December. People want paid. Which is kind of dumb to me, I think they'd rather be paid in January so that they can delay the tax on the income. That's just me. They probably get bonuses or whatever on December payments.

Alton Jeffrey kept me out of the playoffs in one league and just knocked me out of the playoffs in another. Josh Gordon kept me out of the playoffs in my third league with help from Alton. I think I played 1 or both of those guys for the last 6 weeks between my three teams. Every time one of them went for 200+ I was playing them. I will have to draft them both next year so that they can't ruin me again.

Someone wanted me to do a movie review, I don't have the time today.

Oh, it snowed like barely here today, so the traffic was a mess. Fucking people and 1 inch of snow.

Friday, December 06, 2013

El Piacks

Colts +6.5 over BANGLES
Ya huge game. I like the points here. Even though Cincy is pretty strong at home. Luck's beard pisses me off. Fucking so something with it. I mean groom it your in the NFL now. oh i'm so smart but I cant figure out how to shave hair on my face. fucking faggot.

GREEN BAY -whatever the fucking line is. Fucking yahoo has been terrible this year with admin issues. that's because they have a woman in charge- over Falcons
Falcons. HAHAHAHHAHAHA. Falcons, Texans, wft. The might Flynn's will win at home handily.

NE over Clev.
Don't care what the line is, will lay as much as 14. If Josh Gordon goes over 2 bills this weekend I'll change my name to Nancy McGillacuddly.

Oakland +2.5 over JETS
The Jets offense is so miserable. I think Oakland could win.

Detroit +2.5 over PHILLY
Time for Philly to lose. Lions rip a few in a row here and grab a playoff spot. Stafford has to stop with the silly picks.

Miami +3 over BURGH
Fins are a better team. Period.

TAMPA -2.5 over Buffalo
One of those home/away picks. If the game was in west ny i'd ride the bills. It's not. It's in the strip club capital of the world.

KC-3 over WASH
The Skins are awful.

Vikes +6.5 over BMORE
Adrian Peterson is the MVP of the league. Vikes would be WINLESS without him. DISCUSS.

BRONCS -12 over Titans
Unless it's -18 degrees or snowy this will be a blowout.

Ramalamadingdongs +6.5 over AZ
This line is hella high. Zona had a nice stretch but they ain't no great team. Carson Palmer is still involved here.

Seattle +2.5 over SF
Well yes, clearly they play better at home. But Seattle is scary good. Fastest defense I've watched in awhile. I feel like they have 13 guys on the field. And Wilson is like a brown not gay right handed Steve Young.

Oh Carolina +3 over NO
Push. Saints win. But Carolina is ready for the big time.

Dallas +1 over BEARS
Boys will smell the blood once they see the Lions knock off philly. Week 17 game vs Philly will be the deciding game.

Thursday, December 05, 2013

Dec 6, 2006

This was just about a 7 years ago. Some guy named Rev made that post. He posted about the Eagles game and how he doesn't boo a lot from the stands, but he does make witty comments like "What the hell was that for??". I still can't believe that Los and Smoke podcast never took off (S). After reading through the comments it looks like we had already started making bets where the loser has to change their name, because there was someone named "Zeke Fucks My Mom". I don't think it was Lp because there was punctuation in their comments. I think it might be Steve. temwr does a nice recap of a SG article...bring that back, tem! Actually I'd rather have the movies reviews of movies you've never seen...bring those back instead. Whocares, MVN, ebntx, and Jay Scott were also around then.

I liked this quote the best:

ToddPacker said...
no meiz today...he's either slammed at work or passed out on $8 vodka

Some things never change.

There was also this:

The Rev said...
Zeke and I are the Stockton and Malone of LOV.

Chalk Pizza vs Dirt Sandwhich* debate.

LOVAD was in full swing back then...good times!

Wednesday, December 04, 2013

Tuesday, December 03, 2013

Tuesday tuesday tuesday

I don't understand this Knowshon crying stuff. Did he squirt water into his eyes before that? That is a lot of freaking tears. Seems fake.

By the by, 99% of shit is fake. The person asking for money for their kids, fake. Knowshon fake. Everything except Paul Walker dead this week is fake.

I did the parent thing this weekend where I said that bgtem is smart because she was able to perform a simple task. I immediately caught myself, but it was too late. The virus or whatever it is has infected me. Eventually I will be that guy who says their kid is a genius because they can put a square toy in a square hole or finish a Shrek puzzle.

WaVa basketball team looks like it might be above average this year. That will make up for the shitty football team. They were shitty. Hopefully next year they are less shitty.

Talk about tOSU getting jumped pisses off the local fan base here. Their #1 argument seems to be that they have won 22 straight. I don't think last season's wins count towards this year. The tOSU basketball team is flying under the radar here. They are good but probably not great.

I can't watch NBA right now. Wake me when it is the playoffs or at least near it.

I can't watch hockey right now. Wake me when it is over.

Monday, December 02, 2013

RIP Paul Walker

aka Brian Earl Spilner aka Brian O'Connor, Fast and Furious franchise will never be the same.

damn, he never had his car

Knowshon feels our pain

He died...

gonna eat a tuna sandwich no crust in his honor

special related dat ass

may you granny shift in that quarter mile in the sky cuh

Thursday, November 28, 2013

Happy Thanksgiving!

Every year on Thanksgiving we break out Christmas Vacation and watch it with the family...nice little tradition. cmjug's sister and her family are in town, so we'll be over at the in laws all weekend. Hopefully I can sneak in a few naps. I imagine I'll spend a portion of black Friday on my roof putting up lights and no part of black Friday in a store of any kind.

By the time this gets posted, keef will have had 3 Thanksgivings. S

Turkeys...fried, baked, or smoked? What is your preference? How would you rank them?

I hope everyone has a happy and blessed Thanksgiving! Enjoy the long weekend, food, football, and booze.

Wednesday, November 27, 2013

thanksgiving eve

On the eve of the greatest day of the year, I give thanks.

what are you thankful for?  I'm thankful for cmfost, and mills

True story:
Monday night, doblue1 was getting ready for bed and started pulling clothes out of her closet, ones that were too big and didn't fit her.  I asked her what she was doing.  She goes to a charter school and they have to wear uniforms.  They have variable options, so it's not the exact same thing everyday.  Anyway, she told me that she has a friend at school who only has one uniform, so she wears the same dress, shirt, and tights everyday to school.  Doblue said "She only has one, and I have all these ones that I don't even wear, so I want to give them to her".  It melted my heart.  So cmblue took the clothes to school yesterday before school and gave them to the teacher because we didn't want to embarrass the little girl.  The teacher was so thankful she started to tear up, and said, in all her years of teaching this is the sweetest thing any of her students has done.   These are the days where I'm proud to be a father, and while most the time I feel like I'm just screwing my kids up, it's days like this when I realize that inspite of my idiocy, my kids are going to be great human beings.

As dumb as it sounds, this little episode has put the holidays back into perspective for me, and now I'm all weird and happy and giddy.

Now I can sit and watch football and drink beer all day tomorrow, in peace.

Tuesday, November 26, 2013

It's tuesday

So I guess it snowed here. I hope the weather gets better for Thursday. I hate driving to WaVa in shitty weather. It is only a 2hr drive, but still, it is a pain in the ass if the roads are shit. Takes like 3hrs30mins then because either the roads are bad or idiot drivers think they are bad. At least I don't have 3 Thanksgivings to go to like Keith does. I know he said it wasn't woe, but good lord, I would be so tired lugging the kid around to that many places. I guess his are probably all close by though. He has 2 kids though, twice the pain in the ass.

Tampa Bay keeps winning. That's OK. There is no great player at the top of the draft board. Going into the year I thought Clowney might be the man, but I don't feel that way anymore.

Pirates Hot Stove moves? I don't think there are any.

tOSU fans are praying for a Bama or FSU loss. It'd be hilarious if Auburn beats Bama and leapfrogs tOSU.

I want to retire in 15 years.

Short week this week, we get 1/2 day Wednesday and then all of Thursday and Friday off. Yee haw.

Friday, November 22, 2013

El Picks

Don't feel like typing out the lines and names and shit. So just some small talk.
I'm on all the dogs. Think I finally cracked the code. Usually it takes me until week 8 or 9.

If the Giants beat the Cowboys this weekend oh man......
Wonder what the concussion tests are like.
Seems like there should be a bit more consideration in the GM's office to have a good backup QB. Bears know. Packers don't.
Still not sure what the Giants were thinking when they elected to have Painter over Carr. Carr is far better. Favor to Peyton maybe?
Manning / Brady - I could look this up but I feel like Brady has gotten the better of Manning but I remember Mannings super bowl year they beat them in a tremendous game at RCA and that win is probably worth 2 or 3 reg season wins. Think Pats beat them twice in playoffs? Was one the AFC champ game? I don't recall specifically and not looking it up. Debate.

This A-Rod thing, I'm certain he is a fucking huge liar and he probably took steroids but MLB is kind of acting really shady themselves. For a guy who never failed a drug test they sure as shit have a hard-on for this guy. Bribes, felons this thing is playing out like a political thriller we've seen in a movie. Just with bats and balls instead of murder and espionage.

Knicks stink. Melo is gone. Welp. Happy the Nets are falling apart already.

Hot Stove. I want Braun. Bourjos. Eithier. Peralta. (not all but I like those targets)
And a 4th rotation guy that will throw 200 innings. Ike for Braun Meiz and other pieces, do it do it.

I know this was a bit lazy but this time I have an excuse I'm out or work thurs and fri, cmep's gramma passed so we all busy and shit with wakes and burials and shit. Thanks in advance for condolences for miss ep. If you are lucky enough to have grandparents in your life still god bless they are true gems.

Thursday, November 21, 2013

Jack the dude who chose to get a BYE to the semifinals because his opponent didn't make weight, didn't make weight for his semifinal fight after bragging for weeks how he is able to eat what he wants and still make weight. That's embarrassing.

The Fielder/Kinsler trade...I like the trade for both teams. That's my analysis. I did find this headline funny..."Trade shows Tigers have a 'win-now' mentality".

*********Dad and baby ramblings below, feel free to skip*************

Being a dad is awesome! I've been having a great time with this little guy. We were blessed with a baby that doesn't cry a whole lot, but I'm sure that'll catch on at some point. I took two weeks off work to spend time with him and cmjug and to help her out. I'll go back next week, work 3 days, and have another 5 off.

He arrived 11 days early. He was born on the Marine Corps birthday (Nov 10) which made my dad happy. We named him Jackson Louis Marici. I've always liked the name Jack and Louis is my middle name (after my grandfather).

Everything seemed to happen so fast; cmjug started feeling the labor pains around 6:30 on Saturday night, we were in the hospital by 9:30, and he was born at 1:42 Sunday morning. He gave us a little scare while we were in the hospital and didn't eat on the first full night. His blood sugar dropped and the nurses said they might have to put him in the NICU, which would have meant we would have had to leave him there at least a night after cmjug was released. Luckily with some help from the lactation specialist we were able to get his blood sugar back up and leave together. He has been eating like a champ ever since.

I wasn't sure what to expect with having my first kid at 39, but its just been amazing, life changing experience to say the least. For those not on Facebook, I added a couple of my favorite pics of the little man. I don't do a lot of posting on Facebook, but I'll throw a pic up there from time to time.

*************End dad and baby ramblings*******************

Mize...I still need a name and pic from the Lions Bears game.


Wednesday, November 20, 2013

1/8th pole

NBA season is already 1/8th over.  San Antonio and Indiana have the best records, so they must be the best teams.  Milwaukee and Utah have the worse* records, so they must be the not best teams.  All I know is that the Nuggets suck, but they are good enough to not get one of the top picks, which is a horrible amount of goodness.  Look at Charlotte, if the playoffs started today, and maybe they should, they'd be the 6 seed in the East.  My 1/8th of the season MVP would have to be Paul George, and my Rookie of the Year would probably be Kelly Olynyk, because he's got great hair, and I like guys with girl first names.

Adam Levine is the sexiest man alive. Ok, there you go

some of the luckiest people are the ones who....

Fantasy seasons are starting to wind down.  I'm on the outside of the playoffs in my money league, but have a good shot to get into the top 4 (currently in 5th place).  Or, I could tank and then be in the running to win the consolation bracket and at least break even.  It's a dilemma.

Single dad this weekend as cmblue has a wedding to attend out of town.  Party time. 

refs made the right call on Monday night.  Dude shouldn't have thrown the flag anyway, that's the unwritten rule of the last play of the game. 

How does George Zimmerman have such a hot girlfriend.  Maybe he's just a great guy who has been misunderstood?  Or do chicks just like bad boys, or fame?  Or maybe, she knew that eventually, dating a guy who has no job and just killed a teenager would get her in the headlines somehow.

Has anybody watched the Mike Tyson stand up special on HBO yet?  I saw the first part of it, and it's just too hard to understand what he's saying.  Maybe I need a hearing aid, I don't know.

Pics from the Thomas Howard crash are ridiculous.  Makes me not want to buy a BMW, I thought those were supposed to be safe cars.  If it can't keep from being destroyed when you're traveling at over 100mph and clip a truck and go airborne, then I don't want one.

Tuesday, November 19, 2013


Clay Matthews does a lot of commercials. Like a whole lot.

Ray Lewis is going to pay half of A. Brooks' fine if he gets one. That's nice of him. NFL should double the fine.

bgtem has an ear infection. She basically got candy for medicine. Where was the fucking candy medicine when I was a kid? Dimatap was the tastiest stuff out there. The orange stuff you learned to like. This stuff is like pink and fruity.

Nets suck. Fire Jason Kidd. Get players who haven't logged a million miles on those knees.

Half day because the kid is sick. I am home in the AM, cmtem comes home at noon. I think I will have McDonalds for lunch.

Allstate commercial needs some editing. Grill falls out, next shot grill is in the truck.

I need hired by commercial people to watch them to help them out.

Monday, November 18, 2013

goddman Ray Rice

had to face him this week, hoping he would continue his awfulness. woe

look at the bad intentions on Woodley's face in the 3rd angle, damn, awesome

Hendricks was robbed, but if you think you have 3 rounds for sure, with MMA judges, going into a 5th round, still gotta keep going for it to make sure, seemed like he could have tried harder in the 5th, still thought he won though.

what happened to Lions in the second half? Stafford had like 320 in the 1st half and ends up with like 370? the fuk?


Friday, November 15, 2013

El Pix

Just hold on we're coming home.

Jets +1 over BILLS
The Bills are a mess the Jets are actually ok enough. I swear Ed Reed always looks like he's the drunk black uncle.

BEARS +3 over Baltimore
Been a real struggle for the Ravens this year. The AFC North and NFC East are terrible.

Browns +5.5 over BENGALS
The Browns are actually ok enough. Bengals have enough on offense not sure why they struggle so mightily. I guess it's the ginger. Fucking gingers.

Skins +3.5 over EAGLES
Iggles are turrible at home. I ain't buying the Foles hype.

STEELERS +2 over Lions
Fucking Lions type game. They will lose like 9-6 or something like that. No chance that clown coaching staff prepares them well enough. They should rip the Steelers this week but wont because Fucking Lions. Just when they get momentum it happens.

Atlanta -1 over TAMPA
Wonder if Tony G regrets coming back.

JAX +7 over Cards
Like keef said, no clue why Arizona is giving 7. Grab yourself a frozen custard keef for that gem.

Raiders +7 over TEXANS
Again, no clue here either.

San Diego -1 over MIAMI
Fins are toxic.

SAINTS -3 over Niners
Kaep returns to the scene of the Super Bowl loss.

SEATTLE -12 over Vikes

kc +8.5 over Broncos
all im saying is that pass rush vs a bum ankle wobbly manning cannot = blowout.

Pats +2.5 over CAROLINA
Brady and Bill are 15-5 in Monday Nighters, 4-0 when preceded by a Bye and 8-6 ATS off of Bye weeks in general. Carolina has some steam behind them but a healthy Pats team with balance will come out on top.

Thursday, November 14, 2013


Freaking jug. Congrats on the new kid and all, but c'mon bro. Don't forget your roots.
At the beginning of the college season I said the BCS title game would be Stanford/FU. That was a typo. It should have been Stanford/FSU.
Bengals suck. Good thing they are in a bad division. Without Geno Atkins and Leon Hall, the defense is average at best. And Dalton is still a red head. We know how they are. JERKS!
Big UFC PPV this weekend. We need tempicks. I'm going to a bah* to watch the fights. That means they will be awful. You've been warned.
Upset special for NFL this weekend is the Jagoffs beating the Cardinals. I have no idear why the Cards are giving 7 pts. Titans are gonna beat the Colts tonight. Colts can't run and w/o Wayne all the defense needs to do is double T.Y. Hilton.
Christmas party season is rapidly approaching. Good times.

Wednesday, November 13, 2013

my days are all screwed up

I keep forgetting what day it is.

I'm getting a guy out to the house today to tell me how much it costs to add solar panels.  We'll see if that's a decent option or not.

Some hikeschool kid died from a hit in a football game.  This is the beginning of the end.  Soon enough there will be a death, not necessarily in game, but resulting from something in game, and the NFL will be fucked as we know it.   Roger knows it, that's why he's making all the insane rules.

How come there hasn't been this outpouring of relief for the people in the Phillipines, like there was in Haiti?  I've known people who have been to the phillipines, pray for my family

phillipino strong?

tOSU freshman wide receiver needs to shut up.  Urb knows they can't beat Alabama or FSU, or Auburn, or Mizzou, or LSU, or Oregon, or Standford.  They can probably beat Fresno State or Louisville in whatever BCS bowl they go to.  Baylor might not beat tOSU though.

Dwayne Bowe to start despite arrest.  Of course he is.  Biggest game of the season, chefs won't put him on the sideline if they don't have to. 

Speaking of this Sunday's game, heard this stat, and didn't believe it, but it was on the radio so it must be true.  The Chefs/Broncos game has the highest combined winning percentage for the two teams, this late in the season since the NFL/AFL merger, I think that may be for just a regular season matchup, but I don't know.  Last matchup later that was higher was 1960 something, 10-0 Vikings vs 9-1 Rams.  this means the game will suck

I was too busy last week, and totally forgot to make picks in my money pick'em.  Was in 2nd place for the season, and now drop to 6th.  I'll get money for winning individual weeks, but my season chances are now over.  FML

Tuesday, November 12, 2013


I have shit to do.

Go Bucs. Winning is OK because there is no player worth tanking for in the NFL draft. It is a crapshoot as to which player is going to help. Do you take Ted, Johnny, Marcus, someone else? Who gives a shit?

My side still hurts. I think I have a tumor.

Fucking hate doctors.

Why is that guy in the taco bell commercial even at the basketball courts? Why is dressed like he is at work? Who takes taco bell to the neighborhood playground and then tries to play? Fuck taco bell it makes you do stupid shit.

Monday, November 11, 2013

Veterans Day

requires Top Gun in a GIF

Suite hail mary

not quite Dat Ass, but nice ass GIF

Friday, November 08, 2013

El Picks

Gotta start picking it up this is the week.

So my thoughts on the Dolphins thing is predictable. Martin is a pussy. But here's the thing. This is the stance you choose to take? I mean you are grasping for sympathy here I see the play but you are for certain alienating yourself from the NFL. With 80% of the fins locker room supporting Ingcognegro it's a lock he won't be back there.

The news is bad for the NFL on that Dorsett story from yesterday but again maybe it's because I'm just a NFL fan and I don't care what happens before games, after games 20 years after games I just care what happens during the games - I don't give a shit. People that play football from the 80's on lets say had to have known that tackle football would fuck you up later in life. Runners know that their legs or feet or knees will be shot if they run for 20 years. Wrestlers know they batter their body. Boxers know they will have brain damage at some point. Why don't football players know that bashing your head into other bodies is potentially going to be a bad deal later in life? Why does the NFL have to answer for this - that they knowingly hid proof from them? And what were they supposed to do?

Seattle -5.5 over ATLANTA
Hawks really haven't played well the past couple of week but Atlanta is done. Throw this year away. Ryan is forcing balls, they have no running game and they are getting scorched on defense. All three phases.

Detroit +1 over BEARS
Cutty back. Still like Detroit who had their way with the Bears last meeting.

St looo
New O

Thursday, November 07, 2013

Did you order the Code Red?

I think Herm Edwards made the best point when he said "you don't want to see the sausage being made..." when he talked about the culture in the NFL locker room. Most people don't want to or need to see what goes on the in the locker room, just enjoy the games. This has been an interesting story and has made for good sports talk radio over the last few days. We'll see what the investigation turns up, but I think the Dolphins biggest mistake was to put Incognito on their leadership counsel and Incognito's biggest mistake was using the N word in the voicemail, or maybe leaving any voicemail at all. That's all I have to say about that.

cmjug is 38 weeks...any day now.

Biden is the best!


Wednesday, November 06, 2013

shoot it's my day to post

Interesting elections in CO.  Apparently some counties want to be their own state, while others don't.  they were all scattered in the north east part of the state, so I'm guessing we won't have a North Colorado anytime soon.

Also, voters approved a 15% excise tax and 10% sales tax on marijuana.  Fucking expensive taxes, now it goes back to being cheaper to buy it off the street.  Or on an indian reservation.

Had a dream that I forgot to bet H on the Pats/Broncos game (in 3 weeks).  So I guess now I do dream about H.

The rumor about town is that Jonathan Martin is gay.  And that's why Incognito was busting his balls so hard, and why Martin never stood up for himself or went to coaches. Also, other rumor is that Pouncey threatened to have Aaron Hernandez kill him.  Which is my favorite rumor.

Nuggets suck.  0-3..furious George has to be laughing somewhere.


Tuesday, November 05, 2013


It's my anniversary, so I forgot to post.

It is anniversary 2. The cotton anniversary. I boat* cmtem some cotton balls. Also she got a winter hat and a hoodie. I have no idea what to buy her. She boat* me new sheets for the bed. That was one of the top intrawebs suggestions.

haha Packers. Fucking Boykin. Fuck you and your 1 target. Catch more balls.

Fuck you Cameron and your 1 catch. Catch more balls.

Went 1-1 in money leagues. Won in the free league. The Johnson boys got me 89 points or so. My opponent had 77. Andre killed me in the other league though.

WaVa won a game. They are thinking they might make a crap bowl. I doubt it.

Boat* Madden football 25. I don't like it. Seems really zoomed out, guys look like intellivision players.

Yahoo! had an interesting article about some brothel in Nevada. Summit IV. It has a sports bar.

Monday, November 04, 2013

Claimed Brady Off Waivers

should have started him, damn. on vacation so no gif sorry, fuck Matt ryan your receivers being hurt doesn't mean you can throw a bunch of picks

Friday, November 01, 2013

El Picks

Just realized Marvin Lewis is fat.
Also he is like Dusty Baker. Wins. Loses the important ones. Almost unfireable. Seemingly unfireable.

BUFFARO +3 over Cheifs
Undefeated no longer.

Minny +10 over DALLAS
I wouldn't lay 10 if they was playing the little giants. little known fact boys are 1-14 ATS when giving more than 9 points

Titans -3 over Rams
Gregg Williams gonna kilt Kellen plus some bad blood fisher plaid* greggy after his suspension

JETS +6 over Saints
cuz it aint in the Superdome

Skins +1 over Chargers
Take the over

Atlanta +7.5 over Carolina
Win a few and all of a sudden you can cover a td plus an extra point and half nigga please

Oaktown =2.5 over Philly
chip Kelly sucks

Seattle -16.5 over Bucs
thought about it, i'd lay 21 here

Browns +2.5 over Ravens
I'll say one thing everytime I think the browns will stink it up they don't, the coach may be for real they play pretty good ball at times

Burgh +6.5 over Pats
this is a ike taylor - Woodley - palomalu - ryan clark type game they will squeeze brady and why not lesser mortals have done it so far

Houston +2.5 over indy
Texans shock the lucks

Chicago +10.5 over Green Bay
too high

Thursday, October 31, 2013

Even O:FB takes a break now and then

Congrats Aitch...enjoy it! I hope the GM of the Dodgers gets a ring too for taking all those bad contracts off the Red Sox hands.

Wednesday, October 30, 2013

blah blah blah

something something something

yes yes no



giants suck

redsawks in 6


Went and saw "Book of Mormon" this weekend.  I say that if that show comes to a town near you, make sure to see it.  Haven't laughed so hard in years.  Those SouthPark guys know how to write comedy.

Do you call it the Theater, or the Theatre?

Tuesday, October 29, 2013

These are the days

World series is on too late to watch. I can only watch like 5 innings.

Monday night football is on too late to watch. I can only watch about a half.

In other news I am getting old.

Allstate commercial with the $5 refund check popped up again yesterday. Fucking Allstate. Retards.

My eye boogers have exceptionally strong grip on the eye today. They won't come out.

I hope the World Series ends on a hidden ball trick.

Sunday, October 27, 2013

Dez Is Jelly Of Megatron

was told by his own teammates to get his shine box

Matt Ryan hate building back up, at least when Stafford has a bunch on turnovers he chucks right and pads the stats proper

Friday, October 25, 2013

El Picks

"Welker had a day off from practice Wednesday. Perhaps he went to the movies. He is in no danger of missing this Sunday's game vs. the Redskins"

Who the fuck writes these lil news bits on yahoo! ffb? Meiz you need to apply for jobs like this.

Your not going to believe this but I want to fuck the shit out of this Thursday night football singing arab chick. Am I welcome to your city bitch? Dick City here I cum.

HAHAHAHAHAHA Nessler opens the broadcast and says welcome to the city by the bay. Isn't that SF? Oakland? It isn't tampa bay even though geographically it's by a bay. Still.

Ron Rivera has great hair.

How many of those pepper honey shrimps do you think Chris Berman can eat? I say 189.



Dallas +3 over DETROIT
Cincy had no business winning that game but did because, well, The Lions. So fuck it I'm not trusting them against a hot QB. Put last week aside Romo has been fantastic thus far.

KC -7.5 over Brown
Surprised this isn't higher. Suicide pick. If you're thinking they are looking past the Browns maybe but even if they are Jason Campbell, on the road (arrowhead no less) is involved so yeah.

Miami +6.5 over PATS
Pats are just too banged up this weekend and Brady just isn't Brady with all the moving parts on offense.

NEW ORLEANS -11 over Bills
Tough for a good team to keep up with the Saints at home. Bills aren't good.

San Fran -16.5 over JAX
This game is in the City of London. I hope it rains. Thbat shitty ass weather with those shitty ass people sporting shitty ass teeth. Fuck Charles Dickens.

Jets +6.5 over BENGALS
Points here. I actually like Geno Smith. SSHHHH Don't tell my Giant Jet Hating brothers.

OAKLAND +2.5 over Steelers
I like DA RAIDERS for the win here. lil upset special for your muffin

Skins +12.5 over BRONCOS
Purnts. Getting chilly out there Peyton....

Atlanta +2.5 over ARIZONA
It's obvious Carson Palmer will take this team nowhere.

Green Bay-9 over MINNY
Minny is awful and Peterson has a lower leg injury (hockey talk).

Seattle -11 over ST LOO
OOOFF Kellen Clemems oooff.

Thursday, October 24, 2013


Headline: "Greg Oden dunks in Miami Heat debut" Greg Oden is getting girls basketball like headlines now...good for him.

I'm in a class at work this week and!

Headline: "Sources: Rams called Favre after QB injury" As long as the Bears don't call him, I'm good.

Is anyone watching The Goldbergs? funny stuff.


Wednesday, October 23, 2013

Thanks Obama

This is an actual ad for the Colorado Healthcare Exchange.  Rumor has it, it's one of the best exchanges (if not the best) in the country.  They haven't had any of the same issues that the federal exchange has had.  I thought this was a parody, but it's a real ad, on their real website.
I started reading my Calvin and Hobbes book again last night...the jokes are funny, and still hold 25 years later.
Sports is going on.  I guess the Avs are good at Hockey again. 
Redsox/Cardinals who ya got? To me it's the lesser of two evils, and there is not right answer.

Tuesday, October 22, 2013



1-1 in money leagues.  1-0 in free leagues.  I am still leading the pick em pool which should be embarrassing for all involved.


As. owes me a 2 week name change.  I didn't see it yesterday, but admittedly I did not look a lot.  I was busy.  The lawn aeration guy broke the DirecTV so it was a busy day.  #firstworldproblems


Giants won, so El Pad should be happy.  I didn't get to watch the game so I didn't get to see how bad Freeman did.  Let me tell you that he is terrible and I expect nothing but terrible out of him.


Folks be dropping like flies.  I hope Eddie isn't next.  Or Warren.  Hopefully nobody is next.

Doug Martin

My bad everyone.  Although everyone here should be safe because you should have known he was my keeper and well you should know what happens there.  As an aside Alfred Morris was my other keeper. Again, apologies for his underperforming. 


Dodgers spent literally a billion dollars on the team and then a ton more on payroll, now they seem to be getting cheap when it comes to money for the manager?  Just lock him up to a multiyear deal and then fire him if he sucks like all the other big spending teams do.


Did I bitch about the chevy commercial yet?  They say nobody has a quieter cab and by nobody we mean dodge and dodge and ford have quieter cabs, got it.  I feel like I bitched about this one already.

Monday, October 21, 2013


seemed like they wanted to get him the ball every play, the fuck?

finally getting the ball to welker was huge for me as long as myers keeps myersing tonight I'm good

me during that drive with welker making suite catches:

no choice but to root for cardinals, got to, cmon O:FB!!!

read that rams considering tebow? Tebowski!!!

Friday, October 18, 2013

El Picks

Woman always have something wrong with them. My neck hurts. My back hurts. Throat, ear, leg. Can you just give me some pussy and raise my kids please. It's simple.

thanksgiving is late

Pete Carroll chews the shit out of that gum

Tampa +7 over ATLANTA
Bucs are a mess but so is Atlanta. Can you even trust them in a suicide pool? If no then take the points.

DETROIT -2.5 over Bengals
Like Meiz said on twatter* the other day the Lions gonna win 11 or 12 games. The Benali's are suspect on the road.

MIAMI -8 over Bills
I'm not happy about this spread but everytime I keep talking myself into taking Buffalo here I laugh.

Pats -4.5 over JETS
I got nothing.

Dallas +2.5 over PHILLY
Anyone understand this line? Eagles suck vs. the Pass, Cowboys are a top 5 passing team. Eagles beat an 0-5 Giants team and a Bucs team in disarray now they are giving points to a team that went toe-to-toe with Denver who spanked them.

Chicago even over SKINS
The read option is dead. RGIII isn't what the hype built up. If he's lucky he'll be as productive as Randall Cunningham. Which would not be a bad thing.

CAROLINA -6 over St. Louis
Seems like the Panthers have a few things figured out. If Brandon LaFell keeps playing well / they'll be swell / and will be able to make it through hell / with a bell / not a Dell. / Curry / I break Murray. DeMarco. Polo. YOLO.

Just rapped. Boom.

San Diego -7.5 over JACKS
Phillip Rivers is the worst. But whatever. Did you know he has 7 kids. Wtf.

me too, only met 2 of them though


San Fran -4 over TITANS
Going to be a dogfight. Think Kappernick* makes a few plays in the 4th quarter for the difference.

Browns +10 over GREEN BAY
They'll win but not by 10.

KC -6.5 over Casey Keenums
Nice 1st start for the young fella, at Arrowhead 4:25 start (fans will be extra juiced) vs. an undefeated team.

Ravens +1.5 over STEELERS
Used to love wathcing these two teams knock the snot out of each other. Doesn't feel the same. Both teams kind of suck ass now.

COLTS +6.5 over Denver
Game of the week. Peyton. Von Miller back. Irsay comments. Colts off a bad loss home with a crazy crowd behind them might just knock off the Broncos. I know it will be close so points is the play here.

Thursday, October 17, 2013


Apparently we have a government least for about 90 days when we get to do this all again.

I wish I had more to say this morning, but I don't.


Wednesday, October 16, 2013


I know i'm getting old when after a day or two of cold weather, i'm bitching that I'm sick of the cold weather.  Maybe I should be a snowbird and go to Arizona for the winter.

We had a "stock the bar" party at our house on Friday.  Finished off the keg, and then guys brought over more whiskey/scotch/bourbon than I know what to do with. We only opened one bottle, of course it was the 18 year old single malt Glenlivet that the contractor who built the basement brought.  it's about half gone, but that's a $100 bottle of scotch.  I of course broke out the ron burgundy quotes as I drank it.

Jim Irsay is either an idiot, or a genius.  I'm probably leaning towards the idiot side.  I don't understand why they're having a video tribute to PFM right before the game.  It will be awkward.  Does he think that it will make Peyton want to destroy the Colts any less?  Also, Irsay needs to keep his drunk mouth shut.

Baseball playoffs have been either boring or intense.  You name it.  Bunch of 1-0 and 2-1 games or whatever.  I hate the Cardinals.

"Last shot? Poll says MJ or Kobe, not LeBron"  This is dumb.  Where is Carmelo on this list, or Chauncey Billups.  (s)

The avs are 6-0, so now Denver is a hockey town again, at least for a couple more weeks.

Tuesday, October 15, 2013

A win is a win

1) Why can't I type posts in Explorer?  I have to fire up Firefox.  Then I can't comment in Firefox, I have to fire up Explorer for that.  Fucking computers.

2) Chevy has a commercial out that says something like "nobody has a quieter cabin than chevy.  and by nobody we mean dodge and ford."   Does that mean Dodge and Ford have quieter cabins?  That's what I am hearing when they say that.  Fucking commercials.

3) I won my two money leagues but lost the free one.  I'll take it.  I won by 1 point in one league.  That makes it so I have a 1 point loss, a 1 point win and a 2 point win.  Nail Biter city.  By the by this is my free team that is fucking 2-4.

A. Peterson
D. Thomas
D. Jackson
J. Thomas
K. Thompkins
Some kicker
some defense

4) tOSU looks like a lock to go undefeated.  hahah jinx.

5) UFC tomorrow is Machida at middleweight.  I will want to see that.  Hopefully he doesn't run from them like he ran from light heavyweights.

Friday, October 11, 2013

El Picks


Soup is stupid.

There are about 26 professions/things/jobs (I can list them good idea for a future post) that I know I can do and do well. That leaves about what 40,000 that I can't do? Let's discuss.

Why don't they just call the Redskins the Pigskins so everyone can keep saying "The Skins".

BILLS +7.5 over Bengals
How the fuck am I supposed to pick this game. Fucking Thad Lewis. All I know is the Bengals have sucked on the road and I'm just going with points here. Reminds me of baseball games where a kid is called up from the minors and throws up zeros because the batters need more than 7.2 innings to figure that sumbitch out. Hopefully Thad keeps us close. Who the fuck names their kid Thad anyway.

Lions -2.5 over BROWNS
Weeden is awful. If Calvin Johnson isn't playing I want my money back.

Raiders +9 over CHEIFS
In Pryor we trust. Seems like Arrowhead is buying a few points for the Chiefs here. Raiders are coming off a pretty impressive win given the fact that the Chargers are better than alot of people thought initially. Pryor clearly was the right choise* over Flynn.

VIKES -2.5 over Carolina
Remember when I said how could Houston go so long without re-stocking their WR's like why didn't they draft a guy that could have added another dimension to thier offense, someone who could be paired with Andre Johnson? That comment applies here except times it by 10 since instead of Andre Johnson they had a seemingly never aging Steve Angry Elf Smith. Cam completing a Marck Sanchez like 57% of his passes, drops to 48% on third down. Yikes.

Steelers +2 over JETS
Did any of us ever think we'd be alive to see the JETS laying points when they faced the Steelers? Here's to thinking Dicky LeBeau has some shit up his sleeve for Geno.

Philly -1 over TAMPA
I can't touch Tampa no matter who they play with all that turmoil. They have termites.

Green Bay -2 over BALTIMORE
Rodgers has all his weapons healthy. He will be deadly this week.

HOUSTON -7.5 over Rams
Schaub nonsense aside the Texans defense has shown flashes of brillance and I think they turn a gem here. Not hard to do vs. literally the worse offensive coordinator I've ever seen.

DENVER -27.5 over Jax
Do I have to break this one down? Jacksonville's only hope is inclement weather or a Manning assisination.

Titans +13.5 over SEAHAWKS
That's a big number vs. a respectable defense. That Seattle O has not been impressive so far. Other than Lynch. they've shown us nothing.

Saints +2 over NEW ENGLAND
Brady just doesn't have the weapons to survive a shoot out. Unless the wiazrd can work his magic on the defensive side I can see the Saints pulling away late in this one. Also. Jimmy Graham.

SAN FRAN -11 over Zona
Think SF is in the midst of a nice little 6-1 stretch here. They got that swagger back.

Skins +5.5 over DALLAS
Washington always plays NFC east foes tight. I'll take the points. Feels like a FG with time expiring game. This whole REDSKINS name change thing is quite retarded. Can we just change it to Indians?

Colts -1 over CHARGERS
Colts are the better.

Thursday, October 10, 2013

Good run, Pirates!

I'm running late today. I took some Nyquil last night and put me in some type of coma. I felt hungover this morning. I'm still in some sort of fog. I slept well, though.

#fantasyreasons: I have Brady in one league, I'm playing a team with Brady in the other two.

LP...are we going to have some sort of bet tonight?

Wednesday, October 09, 2013

drinking from your cup til it runneth over

boston strong...hey it's been 5 months or so, lets get over it.  quit comparing it to 9/ 2 people died.  Stupid Rays.  Oakland will show Boston how "strong" it is.

government is still closed.  yet they still took the payroll taxes out of my paycheck.  That's a bunch of bullshit right there.

This Elizabeth Smart chick is kinda hot.  who says that all kidnap victims end up being scarred for life?

Falcons suck

NBA preseason has started, who ya got?  Money May went and spent some time with the Heat telling them about how it's difficult to defend a championship.  He also bet on the speech and won like $50million.

Carmelo Anthony is sad.  Oh, poor guy, cry me a river you pussy.

You would think that when you're as rich and powerful as Condeleeza Rice, you'd have gotten your teeth fixed. 

Cards will beat the Dodgers in 6.

I'm going to try out this 9.99 spotify thing.  Can I do it for just one month?  If it sucks can I blame Steve.

Tuesday, October 08, 2013

Classic Year

Classic fantasy year for me.  My records are terrible in all three leagues.  Like 2-3 and 1-4 and then a 2-3 or something like that.  I have scored either the third or fourth most points in each league and given up either the most or second to most.  I played against Sproles when he has 40 points, the next week he gets 3.  I play against Pryor for his big week, I played Manning for his 7 TDs, if someone goes off I played against them.  Guess who has two thumbs and played against Jeffries this week?  This guy did.


The undefeated talk is going crazy.  The rest of the schedule is apparently a cake walk according to the office folks.  Braxton Miller is going to make a run at the Heisman but won't get there.  That Baylor RB will be in the conversation soon.


Some high school BS going on there.  Coach is pulling the QB after second down to yell at him and putting in the other guy.  Then the original guy starts the next series, but gets pulled on third down to get yelled at.  This ain't hike school pal.  Let the starter play and yell at him after you punt or turn it over. 


Everyone knew the INT was coming.  It was the power of all those negative thoughts that made it happen.  All that negative energy brings him down.  People need to believe in him and then he'll do well.


It was a great ride this year.  Maybe this Cole kid can keep it going, but I think on the road, game 5 against probably Wainwright, I don't see it happening.  Good year though.  Good job! Good effort!

Falcons and Chargers

Fuck em both.

Monday, October 07, 2013



sorry about lame post, Romo'd it

4-1 in $$$ league, need tony g < 24 in $ league.

Friday, October 04, 2013

El Picks

New Orleans even over DA BEARS
Jimmy Graham. I keep sending trade offers, legit trade offers, to this guy and he keeps refusing them with no comments, no basis for the rejections. Related. I think I'm in love with Jimmy Graham.

New England over BENGALS
Pats keep it rolling man. I think I know why. They don't have the best WR corp, still a work in progress but have you counted the time Brady has had to throw? The o line is pretty fucking good.

GREEN BAY -7 over Detroit
Still LOVE Green Bay. Think they worked the kinks out over the bye week.

TITANS +3 over Chiefs
Upset of the day. Titans will smother the Chiefs at hom...fuck I forgot Locker is out. Still rolling with it. Throw shit at the wall. Sometimes it will stick.

Seattle -2.5 over COLTS
Texasn manhandled the Seahawks last week for 3 quarters then rolled over. I doubt the Seahawks will allow that to happen again. I say they go hard from the first play of the game. Colts can be physical too just ask the Niners. But the Seattle corners are exceptional and Luck runs out of weapons after Wayne and Hilton.

Jax +11.5 over RAMS
Cmon. I swung and miss on Rams they look shitty. Forgot that Brian Schottenheimer runs that offense. He is a quarterback murderer. His fathers old balls could coach better than B-RIDE.

MIAMI -3 over Ravens
The Monday night game was an impossible task this team was not ready for. They can handle the Ravens at home, they are still a good football team.

Because I said so:
Carolina -2 over ARIZONA
Denver -7.5 over DALLAS
SF -6.5 over Houston
San Diego -4.5 over OAKtown
Jets +10 over ATLANTA

Anthony Munoz finger has nothing on Brian Baldinger's finger.

Dodgers all the way. Lock it up.

Thursday, October 03, 2013

Post Title

Talking to Houston Texan fans about Schaub yesterday was fun. Some of them think they'd be better off without Schaub. He's got some issues like most QBs, but you better have a replacement and I don't think they have that. One guy I talked with yesterday thought they should put their third string kid, Case Keenum. Articles like this don't help. The kid is 3rd string for a reason.

I am going to attempt to do a Tough Mudder run this Sunday with a friend of mine. I didn't consider #fantasyreasons when I signed up. I generally don't make changes to my lineups after I check them Sunday morning anyways. Its like changing answers on a test. I'm not in the greatest shape right now, so this should hurt but it looks like it might be fun too. I'll probably be in a coma on Monday. Here is our course and here are a list of obstacle descriptions.

About 7 weeks out from having a kid. cmjug is in the phase where she is uncomfortable all of the time. I am no longer to say that I'm tired under any circumstance. Sometimes it seems like its still a long way off and sometimes it hits me that my life is about to change more than it ever has.

I've been trying to stay away from national news lately. This government shutdown is frustarating on many levels. I'm fortunate to get back pay when its all said and done, but it should have never gotten to this point. Moral isn't the best at work with about 90% of the people getting sent home last Monday. Those people aren't guaranteed to get back pay. end woe


Wednesday, October 02, 2013

because I care

stuck in traffic, and then had to hop right on a conference call. 

So this is all you get for today

Charissa Thompson, way hotter than EA

Tuesday, October 01, 2013

New Post

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Monday, September 30, 2013

Broncos You Scary

Don't want to play them.

Enjoying the Giants play so far.

3-1 in $$$ league. Down 6 in $ league have jimmy graham to go, opponent has nobody left.

dat ass

Friday, September 27, 2013

El Picks

Baltimore -3 over BUFFALO
I don't think Baltimore is "right" on defense yet and certaintly the offense misses Boldin but I'm pretty sure they are three points better than Buffalo. Who needed a miracle to win the week before then got beat by a bad/flashes of mediocre Jet team.

Bengals -4 over BROWNS
Screw you Browns. I ain't buying that road win.

Chicago +3 over DETROIT
I think the Bears keep the good times rolling.

Steelers -2 over MINNESOTA
It's obvious the Vikings suck just like it's obvious the Giants suck. Good thing there are only 16 games to suffer through and not 182 like beisbol.

Arizona +2.5 over BUCS
Mike Glennon?

Indy -8 over JAX
Jax is pretty bad, winless Lions bad? Maybe.

Seattle -2.5 over HOUSTON
Texans have not looked very good thus far. Also Russell Wilson hasn't really shown the 2012 Russell Wilson, scary to say this team could probably be a little better once he rounds into form.

TITANS -3.5 vs nyj
Rookie QB on the road vs. Gregg Williams head decapitating defense.

Philly +10.5 over DENVER
If Chip and Vick are on point this Sunday are we looking at a combined 90 point game here?

Skins -3 over OAKLAND
The RGIII's get on the board.

Dallas -2 over SD
Boys got something going here. Can't wait until November.

FALCONS -2 over Pats
Last time Pats were underdogs on primetime television? 2002. Wes Welker says hi Mr. Belidick.

SAINTS -6.5 over Miami
Fins are much improved but tough tough tough beating this team at home on a Monday night. If this were in Miami I'd take those points (they wouldnt be there though, maybe 2 or 3).

Wednesday, September 25, 2013

new week

I have a lot to talk about, but not much to say

I love this country, but my god, if a guy can stand up and read dr seuss for 10 hours to delay a vote, there is something fucked up about that.  Love it or Leave it, and just like McDonald's, I'm loving it.

I like that Kaepernick needs twitter to motivate him.  How about wanting to win a superbowl, or get a big fat pay raise.  You know, things that matter, not what some tweeter your play on sunday, right after they mention that all they have left is dry cat food.

Josh Freeman is going to the bench, this should end well for all parties involved. 

Headed back up to the U this weekend.  Haven't been back to Northern Idaho in like 10 years, should be a fun guys trip for homecoming.

Basement remodel is finally finished.  Took a week longer than it was supposed to.  Now I need to determine the first keg to buy to pop the cherry.  Suggestions?

I'll do a cribs post someday, but not today

I've scored the most points in my money league and i'm 1-2.  fucking hate fantasy football.

Allie LaForce is a hot sideline reporter.  She was like miss teen usa though, so she doesn't have any good pictures out there, and anything of her in a swimsuit is from when she was a teenager, which might be kind of creepy.

learn about bourbon

Tuesday, September 24, 2013

Just the tip


That safe driving bonus sounds awesome.  I saw the commercial where it says twice a year you get a safe driving bonus.  Then I saw the check.  FIVE FUCKING DOLLARS????  You actually put that in the goddman commercial?  A FIVE FUCKING DOLLAR check is your safe driving reward??   Seriously, watch the commercial, the check is for FIVE FUCKING DOLLARS.  You spent millions of dollars on a commercial that tries to sell me insurance based on the idea that if I don't wreck you'll give me $10 every year??  Really?  Fuck you Allstate.  I don't care if you have President Cerrano as your spokesman your $5 check is not going to sway me.  Geico will save me 15%; my insurance is more than $66 a year so that 15% is looking a lot better.  Get me that fucking lizard.  TWSS

NCAA - Random

Just pay the kids already.  Fuck it, take away all the scholarships and make the kids pay their own tuition.  Give teams salary caps to keep the field "even."   Star player gets paid $150K but he has to pay his own tuition and room and board.  Shitty players get enough to pay tuition and room and board.  Don't like what tOSU will pay you, go to Akron, maybe they'll pay you more.  Tuition might be cheaper too.  This would actually help the school in academic money.  They'd get another 50 or so kids paying full tuition which is much more than it actually costs to educate a student.  Full tuition is what the super rich pay to subsidize the poor kids who get financial aid.


The NFL or I guess the people who broadcast the games need to add a "would have been good from" stat on all field goals.  The technology exists, it is pretty much the same shit they do to measure how far a HR would have gone in baseball.  Just use that and make sure it stays between the uprights and let me know.  It'd be cool to see some dude crush a 55 yarder and have it say "would have been good from 69"  or someone squeeze a 43 yarder in and have it say "would have been good from 44."

NCAA  - Tem's top 5

1 - Oregon
2 - Clemson
3 - Alabama
4 - tOSU
5 - Georgia


Told you they sucked


OK they might make the playoffs


There is not QB controversy.  Stop it media.  Guiton looked good enough for someone to spend a 7th round pick on him though.  It was pretty much the best possible thing for him.  He got to carve up some terrible defenses and now he will be "possibly the next Tom Brady" in the upcoming draft.  He'll be a 6th or 7th round pick and could turn into something special.  He won't, but that's what the talking heads will be saying.

> EA

Lauren Gardner

 Blue and Keith might know this chick.  She was an ex Denver Bronco cheerleader and does sports stuff out west.  I can't remember who hates redheads, but too bad, this one is hot.  Don't care if it is real or not.  Well the color, I bet the hair is real and not a wig.  She's on twitter.  I might join.

Monday, September 23, 2013


Skins 0-3, lions finally won @WAS. RGIII had an idiotic pick, and he still doesn't know how to slide creating another stupid turnover:

Giants look just as awful?

At least it's only the Cowboys in first, hopefully they end the season like this GIF as they usually do:

Got Welker+2 vs. Knowshon in $$$ league, terrified, hopefully knowshon has to stay in to block since Clady is out, fucking bears D caught my opponent up. Won my $ league matchup, 3-0, should I feel bad about being the most experienced player in this 8 team work league? It's fun to be in that league while also being in the competitive 10 teamer, having Jimmy Graham without having to sacrifice at any other position has been the key, winning the $ league will mitigate my loss in the $$$ league (jinx and xnij).

dem tits

dat ass

From Lordz Of Wagers - I don't comment enough anymore for this old bet to stay valid, but just wanted to point out I won this:
2014 World Cup
USA qualifies for world cup 2014 = 1 week name/pic for keef
USA does not qualify = 1 week name/pic for spiff

Friday, September 20, 2013

el picks

I can't look at any woman without thinking about fucking.

El picks later. Come back y'all.

Green Bay -2.5 over BENGALS
Flip flopped on this a few times. But I don't think Dalton can keep up with the one they call Rodgers.

St. Louis +4 over DALLAS
Romo is hurt. Getting injections in his ribs. And Demarco Murray sucks. Serious. They'll hit Romo, that's what they do and he will utrneth the balleth overth.

TITANS -3 over San Diego
While everyone was jumping on the Vikings defense on the waivers I deftly and calmly picked up the Titans defense because I'm a winner. I win.

VIKES -6 over Browns
I mean cmon. This is too easy. Chudzinski is nuts. If he knew Richardson was not his style of running back why not address it in the off-season?

Tampa +7 over PATS
O:FB giveth (sox in playoffs after 69 win season) and taketh (Pats def ain't winning shit this year).

Arizona +7.5 over SAINTS
Like the points here. Arians coached team will HANG around.

Lions +1.5 over SKINS
RGIII might run more - said the headline. Here is monday's headline. RGII is dead.

Houston -2.5 over BALT
Texans have had to come back two weeks in a row to snatch victory but the Ravens have looked worse in the first two games so far. Still not clicking on defense the Browns had opportunities in that game but are the Browns. Schaub is off to a nice start. And Denadre could be that budding star opposite Andre that they sorely need.

Atlanta +2 over MIAMI
74% of the money is on the fins. You know what that means.

Buffalo +2 over JETS
EJ Manuel >>>>>>>> Geno Smith

Indy +10.5 over SAN FRAN
Richardson in the mix, this is too many points.

Jax +19 over SEATTLE
I can't in good concious spot a team 19 points under any circumstance.

BURGH +2 over Bears
Steeler nation rises for this one.

DENVER -15 over Oakland
But I could spot 15 points, especially if Peyton Manning is involved.

Thursday, September 19, 2013


Browns reboot again...poor wHeeden*. Doesn't this guarantee that whatever QB they take with their first pick will suck?

In my 3 $$$ leagues the team that I felt the best about after the draft is 0-2, the team I felt the worst about is 1-1, and the team I wasn't sure about is 2-0.

I think Minnesota will be a popular suicide pick this week.

I get to put a crib together tonight. LOV Cribs has a whole new meaning nowadays.

Yesterday was the 66th birthday of the US Air Force.

Mize, how is your dad's fantasy team doing?

That moment where you start to type a sentence that starts with "That moment...". (Don't do that.)

I would have had this up sooner, but I got called into a meeting.


Tuesday, September 17, 2013

Ghostbusters 2

Baby is sick so I am staying at home.  I guess that is OK.  No, she doesn't have the chicken pox, well maybe not, she just has a slight fever.  Apparently you aren't supposed to take her to day care if she has a fever.  Whatever.  I get watch TV.  Ghostbusters 2 is on.


I hope Meiz got his 21.  I'm still salty about my kicker getting -1 and me losing by 1.  Effing kicker.  I think my teams might be OK.  Maybe.


They started some freshman guy named Ford.  I don't know much about him because the game wasn't on at my house.  They won against some powerhouse from Georgia.


Braxton Miller's knee is fine now that Guiton looks good.   Hyde will want to do well too because Hall is looking good at RB.  The Defense doesn't look so good.

> EA

We'll go with another easy one this week.  Samantha Ponder.  Yes please.  She married some QB from Minn though, so that kind of stinks I guess.  Not really though, I wasn't getting any off of her anyway.  Why > EA?  No huge nose.  Apparently unlike EA Samantha does not have Toucan Sam in her family tree.  But no bikini pic for her.  Spiff probably has one though.

Monday, September 16, 2013

NFC Least

Seahawks with homefield in playoffs would be tough. Easy survivor pick next week, them at home vs jags. Texans saved me yesterday.

Skins are 2nd worst team in league right now, offense sucks then defense gives up a whole game in pts/yds in the 1st halves, then RGIIIandOUT pads his stats against prevent. Rinse and repeat. 0-4 NFC Least yesterday so only 1 game back still.

Elisha ♥ throwing picks

Have 2 jags on my $$$ team, not wise, lost, 1-1. Won my $ matchup though, 2-0

Friday, September 13, 2013

El Picks

Last night talk:

Letting Welker go was a ya-huge mistake. Clearly.  In your face genius.
God Rex Ryan is such a clown.
God damn rain.
A lot of terrible commercials.
Mayock slurping veterans and annihilating rookies.
Geno Smith awfulness, he holds the ball so long at times, take off son you're a running QB...

Unrelated I am fucking pumped for this Mayweather / Canelo fight.  I might even order it.  Undercard is even dope. 

St. Louis +6.5 over ATLANTA
Gimme those points jack. I'm telling you the Rams are going to be nice this year.

Carolina -2.5 over BUFFALO
Can you be my Superman my Superman my Superman.

BEARS -6 over Vikes
Ponder on the road. Like whoa.

GREEN BAY -7.5 over Skins
Pack all day, home opener and they looked really good last week like I thought they would.  Made some mistakes in SF that cost them the game and McCarthy still seems hell bent on making the most terrible in game coaching decisions in the league.  But Rodgers man.  Rodgers.

LUCK -2.5 over Fins
Luck is pretty fucking good.

CHEIFS -3 over Cowboys
Tough road game here for the boys and they needed a David Wilson nightmare of a game to win and still yielded a bunch of points for a defense that was supposed to be tighter.  Maybe by November, totally new scheme.

PHILLY -7.5 over Chargers
Chargers defense is in for it here boy.  Still don't get the gushing over the Chip Kelly offense.  Peyton and Brady been running 75-80 plays a game for a minute.  Maybe not 53 by halftime but still the odd formations the Eagles used once in awhile was to me more "innovative" then running a in sync no huddle.  With some read option worked in.  Either way this has just a few weeks left.  I say Week 4 Foles starts.  Vick will get injured on the short week vs. Chiefs.

Titans +9 over TEXANS
A lot of points.  That Gregg Williams can coach defense.

Detroit +1 over ARIZONA
Hope they win 11 games so Meiz shuts the fuck up about how bad they suck.

New Orleans -3.5 over BUCS
Looking like my fears about Freeman, so far, are on point.

RAIDERS -5.5 over Jax
What does it say about the Jaguars that I'm willing to lay a TD with the Raiders.

SEATTLE -3 over San Fran
Hawks home.

BENGALS -7 over Steelers
The road to the Super Bowl starts now!

Thursday, September 12, 2013

What day is it?

The NFL should just create their own minor league system.

I need to make my suicide picks today. I'm leaning towards Oakland for one of them.

That's all I have...TPS.


Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Never Forget

I know we joke, and make fun a lot, but in all seriousness, 12 years ago today is a day I will never forget.  I'll remember for the rest of my life hearing some weird news report on my alarm/clock radio right after the first plane hit the tower.  I'll remember thinking it was like a war of the worlds joke.  I'll remember rolling out of my loft (because that's how I rolled) and turning on the TV and laying down on the couch about 10 minutes before the first tower fell.  I'll remember the patriotism and the outpouring of American pride over the following days and weeks.  And I don't live in NY, so I can only imagine what feelings and emotions others go through every year on this day.

Ok back to fun.  Syria, huh.  Chickened out there didn't we Barack..pussy.

Jay-Z's holy grail song is crap.  The JT intro is awesome, and a great 2 minute intro, and then when Jay-Z comes on the song is ruined.  That's usually when I flip away from it.  Local station here has gone as far as remixing it so that the song ends when JT's part ends, but you hear Jay going "UH" "UH" all through the intro.

"what's a holy grail song?"  /tem

Manning bowl 2013.  Peyton is going to get acquainted with where he plans on playing his last game of the season.

Frank Caliendo is gold.  If you haven't seen him do Adam Schefter, it's pretty good.

And by "do" I mean impersonate, not actually have man love, because nobody needs to see that.

Meetings all day with potential banking partners.  Best day of the year (s).

Pirates are 8 games up with 18 to play to at least get a Wild Card.  Would take a Messian type collapse to miss out.  Granted it's only a 1 game playoff with the Reds, but it's something.

Who knew that Cleveland is only 2 games behind in the loss column from a WC spot?

"everybody knew that"  /mize

Enjoy the day friends.  Return to your homes, hold your families close, and wait. Tomorrow you claim what is rightfully yours.

Tuesday, September 10, 2013

Tuesday shmoozeday


One more pretty easy game left and then like 9 more easy ones after that.

Their QB might be hurt, but I like their backup.  The backup can beat CAL.  Not sure the backup would beat Mich though.  Maybe.  He is pretty solid.


Either the OK offense is shitty or the WaVa defense just played their career game.  I don't expect the defense to hold many people under 20.  I do expect the offense to keep scoring under 10.  This is a total garbage year.  Next year drunk and baldy will be on the hot seat.  The year after that he will be coaching somewhere else and WaVa will have a new coach.

Tampa Bay
They suck too apparently.  I was afraid they would be inept on offense.

NFL Power Rankings

1 - Niners
2 - Broncos
3 - Packers
4 - Lions

5 -Chiefs

Lots of teams were pretty rusty.  I think the Niners and Broncos showed some good stuff.  Packers looked good in a loss.  The rest of the league did not show me anything to warrant a top 5 pick but I had to pick someone so I went with the Lions and Chiefs. 


I don't believe.  Their September so far:

L W W L L L L W    3-5.  I don't know if playing sub .500 keeps them in the playoff picture.

In any case the pitchers are mostly broke down and the closer is still hurt.  The trade for offense has yielded like two more runs per game, which brings them to averaging about 3 runs a game....

tem college football rankings

1 - Bama
2 - Clemson
3 - tOSU
4 - Oregon
5 - Georgia

I work the sideline and I am hotter than EA

These are in no particular order.  First up Jenn Brown.  I think she was the first one to shatter the EA ceiling.  Everyone thought EA was the shit, then this came along down the sideline. 

Monday, September 09, 2013

Footyball Was Awesome

Started with this:

Ended with this:

and everything in between. That Reggie 77 yarder was beautiful.

Gonna enjoy it before RGIII blows his knee out and/or Chip Kelly trolls the Skins tonight.

P.S. THANK YOU DAVID WILSON, helped me big in my 100$ league, just gotta hold off a huge Garcon game. Also, unrelated, likely gonna win in my work 20$ league matchup even though I am up against pey pey. Everyone give their fantasy status, go

Friday, September 06, 2013

Blue's NFL preview with rebuttals and gems

NFC EAST - (9-7 Wins this division again, wouldn't say it's overrated, would just say it's evenly matched.)

1. Redskins - RGIII and Alfred Morris in an overrated division.
(RGIII will never play 16 games in the NFL, drafting Cousins was the smartest thing Mike Shanahan has ever done)

2. Cowboys - Tony Romo has weapons and a sense of urgency this year
(I am legitmately terrified of the Cowboys winning 10 games and winning a playoff game. Fucking Monte Kiffin and Rod Marinelli? God damn it man.)

3. Giants - not a bad season, probably 8-8, but their defense is awful and no running game
(Their offense is going to be incredible. The defense is mediocre. Awful is a strong word.)

4. Eagles - Chip Kelly will kill Michael Vick by week 4, and then it's the Nick Foles show
(Agree and Chip has Bobby Petrino face to me. He's a college coach. Go away.)

1. Packers - Rodgers will be discount double checking his way to 11-5
(13-3, The Pack is back.)

2. Lions (WC) - Yes, I picked the lions here, assuming Suh doesn't kill a man
(Still worried about the AWFUL pass defense they gave up like the most big play passes last year)

3. Bears - Is this the season Jay Cutler becomes a star...doubtful
(Brandon Marshall doing Brandon Marshall things doesn't bode well for Cutty.)

4. Vikings - I love purple jesus, but he won't have more than 1,500 yards this season
(Ponder is awful. Greg Jennings is a kook. Percy was a first down machine, he gone.)


1. Saints - Revenge tour for Sean Payton
(Super Bowl champs right here. I don't really hear national media talking about the Saints, it's all Niners/Seahawks talk. One thing that bothers me is that bafoon of a def coordinator. Him and his brother need to die.)

2. Bucs (WC) - Year 2 of Greg Schiano and Doug Martin, Gholston and Revis help the worst pass defense in the NFL last year.
(I really like the off-season the Bucs had. All depends on the play of Freeman though. I can see 10 wins and I can see 6 wins. One of those type of teams.)

3. Panthers - Cam Newton has a better season, but he's not even in the top 5 of the mobile/athletic QBs anymore
(Are you popping Molly? Cam Newton is better than those other QB's. #1 in your hearts and #1 in your program playa. This is the OG. And he will last longer than the others because he's built like a fucking linebacker. RGIII couldn't hold Cam Newtons jock if he duct taped it to his bony ass fingers.)

4. Falcons - disappointing season for a team that is loaded on offense
(Tread lightly, I said that last year they won 13 games ; most by 3 points they were very lucky in some games, I got 9 wins for them. Stephen Jackson has some miles left.)

1. Seahawks - Best young QB in the NFC, Lynch will be in beast mode, and they don't lose at home.
(No arguments here. Wilson is special. And the teachings of Carroll are weird but effective, almost Phil Jackson like - minus the championships, you get the point I think)

2. 49ers - Kaepernick was a great story last year. So was Michael Vick his first year in the league, lets see Colin do it again, this time without any WR. Will have trouble scoring points.
( I think the Rams are better actually. I think the Niners are 4 wins less this year.)

3. Arizona - Bruce Arians can coach QBs, and i'm betting he gets one more good season out of Carson Palmer.
(He can coach QB's but the offensive line is horrendous and the RB situation is not good. Can Patrick Peterson play RB?)

4. Rams - Tough division. At what point do they give up on Bradtard? Tavon Austin will be fun to watch. You know you're in trouble when you WR corps has 2 rookies from WaVa and 2 second year guys from Wake Forest and Appalachian State. And you have a fragile QB, backed up by Kellen Clemens.
( I really like them though. I think Fisher is a top 3 coach in this league. The offensive line might be the best in the league (NS) and the dfense keeps them in games. Bradford might breakout this year. Stop laughing.)

Wild Cards come out of the easier divisions. NFC is loaded this year.

NFC Playoffs
Saints over Lions (Saints have a bye, I got Cowboys over Lions)
Bucs over Skins (Just dont trust Freeman, have them out and Atlanta & Rams WC instead of your Lions/Bucs) Got the Falcons beating the Rams in this round)

Seahawks over Bucs (Hawks over Falcons, revenge, 12th man, yada yada yada
Saints over Cowboys

Saints over Seahawks

1. Patriots - by default, this division is just awful year in and year out, good for 11 wins easy every year.
(Amazing how awful this division is every year. Not even fair).

2. Dolphins - Tannehill takes a step forward. Defense is a little better. Just on the outside of the playoff picture, probably 9-7
(I got nothing on this team. I think the GM is terrible. Whatever 6-8 wins I estimate.)

3. Bills - Rookie head coach, rookie QB, no running game, no defense. Maybe win 4 games, maybe.
(no running game? CJ spiller is incredible. and I think Mario Williams has an impact year so I'll pencil them in for a few more wins than you have them at.)

4. JETS - should have picked up Tebow as opposed to Dr. Quinn, would have at least been entertaining.
(rock bottom, rex fired even though Woody still has a woody for him ; unrelated Joe Namath was incredible on Inside the NFL wed night.)

1. Bengals - Marvin Lewis has slowly built a very good defense, and has started to surround Ginger with some really good weapons. AJ Green is the truth.
(This is a good deep team with quality young guys and very physical. Congrats keef.)

2. Steelers (WC) - They were in re-loading/rebuilding mode last year. They always seem to find guys to replace guys. Really need Polomalu to stay healthy for 16 games.
(pipe dream Polamalu will never again play a full slate of games, too wreckless. I don't like Big Bens musk this year and why havent they been able to fix the leaky o-line, this is like 4 years now that line has been shitty.)

3. Browns - Because I hate the Ravens
(I mean God hates Cleveland. what more can we say here?)

4. Ravens - I hope Joe Flacco's arm falls off
(just too much against them, retirments, defections, super bowl hangover thing going on...)

1. Texans - Will have another solid season, followed by disappointment in the playoffs again. Matt Schaub is Tony Romo of the AFC.
(Wonder when they will draft another offensive weapon. Is DeAndre Hopkins that person?)

2. Titans - Division is really weak
(They will run the ball 40 times a game, which isn't a bad thing, might be boringest team in NFL this year glad they don't have any national games aside from the Thursday night schedule which is shit.)

3. Colts - Take a step back. They'll miss Bruce Arians, and don't have the Pagano love story. Luck will be better, but he doesn't have the weapons around him for another run.
(Luck is incredible, they will always win more than they lose because of him)

4. Jaguars - Who is the best QB in college football this year? Could Bridgewater be running this offense next year?
(What's wrong with Gabbert, lol.)

1. Broncos - Even with all the turmoil, should be able to fall out of bed and win 11 games in a weak AFC.
(Hearing the offense will be better than ever, probably average 28 a game or so. Defense wont be as dominate but it won't matter they coast to a AFC championship game.)

2. Chiefs (WC) - Ravens are probably true WC team, but I hate them. Old Andy Reid could prove he has one more good run in him. Alex Smith with something to prove. This was a team that had 4 pro-bowl players last year and won 3 games. Awful coached team last year.
( Cheifs as a WC pick is not crazy, they have crazy talent like you mention and Reid can coach, his in game decisions are famously awful but he can coach and he knows how to utilize the skill players.)

3. Chargers - Phyllis Rivers can't stand in the pocket anymore, you get any little bit of pressure on him and he wilts like a flower in Keith's back yard. Oh, and his offensive line is awful.
(I think you pretty much nailed it. And I've heard soundbites from this new coach, good lord. He is WAAYYY over his head.)

4. Raiders - Matt Flynn is going to ride those 2 games with the Packers forever, does he ever start another game? Raiders defense is horrible. Their offense would be OK if DMC could stay healthy (AHIIK), and Terelle Pryor will ad lib a lot. He's the black Tebow, can't throw the ball for shit, but he'll run around like a crazy person.
(Pryor is trash, Raiders need to hire a coach that can actually you know coach instead of looking for the next boy wizard)

AFC Playoffs:
Texans over Chiefs (agree)
Steelers over Bengals (Bengals have a bye, I got Colts in instead of Steelers. So Colts will lose to Pats)

Broncos over Texans (yes)
Steelers over Pats ( I got Bengals over Pats)

Broncos over Steelers. (I got Bengals over Broncos, condolences Keef)

Broncos over Saints ( I got Saints over Bengals, your welcome keef)

Now unto some picks:

SAINTS -3 over Falcons : In the superdome I don't even think it's close.

Tampa -3 over JETS : Geno Smith is hilarity.

Bengals +4 over BEARS : Vegas is not in the know about the Bengals yet and while an away game in Chicago is not always a cup of tea the weather is perfect for AJ Green and the unleashing of Giovanni Bernard

kc -4 over JAX : seriously just sign Tebow already, and build the biggest baddest defense to support him and you'll win games and sell an fuck load of merchandise

DETROIT -5.5 over Vikes : Ponder has a road/home split that indicates he sucks on the road. Gambling isn't that hard y'all.

Green Bay +4.5 over SF : Last time the Packers will be getting points this year. Jump on it.

enjoy the NFL season.

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"

"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem

"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug

"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino

"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H

"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino

"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino