Monday, December 31, 2012

PLAYOFFS BABY!!!

Hope the Redskins get revenge on them Seahawks (for '06 game) and Pete doesn't do any struttin'.

DAT ASS

Everybody get drunk tonight.

Friday, December 28, 2012

FISCAL THESE NUTS IN YOU MOUTH BITCH

Does anyone really care about Week 17 picks?  If so I'll make them in the post.

I like the smell of weld.

My New Years resolution is to eat more pierogies and cum inside vagina.

Did I rail on New Years Resoltuions on here or the ol el Pad blog?

Cliff Notes version:  I hate people who make NY resolutions, it's complete shit.

Only thing that changes at midnight is the year.  Your still an asshole, your still fat and you still make poor decisions.  Eat a dick new year resolution bitches.

Remember that conversation we had a few times where I was amazed at things like, I wonder who the first guy to pull a lobster out of the ocean and eat it.  Food makes so much sense to me I have already decided that if shit continues downhill in this industry that I will go to Culinary School and become a chef.  NS.

Did I ever tell you the story that I almost enlisted in the Marine corp?

I said to my family the other day, after the huge xmas eve feast, why don't we eat more of this shit throughout the year and my uncle said because then today wouldn't be so special. 

That guy drops gems for days.  What a dude.  Closest thing to a father figure in my life.

Crazy too you think, shit I'm 32, soon to be 33 and the need for a dad in your life is stronger than ever.  you'd think as you got older it fade away.  It doesn't.

Man I am real talkative this morning.

I was readint a thesis on the subprime mortgage crash and how it correlates to the Fiscal Cliff -it's by a charting expert - normally I hate charts because they are tunnel vision but this was pretty good.

No clue why I just mentioned that.

I'm 88% sure I will be at Super Bowl 2014.

I tried to count how many beers I drank this year, like approx.  Gave up.  What a dumb idea.

Jessica Rabbit, Snow White, Sleeping Beauty.  Fuck Marry Kill.

GO!

Thursday, December 27, 2012

Food Coma

I ate...A LOT...over the Christmas holiday.

I work two days this week and am off all of next week....suite.

I wish I was going to Steamboat this year.

GO!

Wednesday, December 26, 2012

Tuesday, December 25, 2012

Monday, December 24, 2012

RGIIImas Eve

Game was pretty much over but WFT:

Nash hit the game winner his first game back, couldn't find a GIF, so you get this from the game:

Dem Tits

Dat Ass

Strutting into the holidays like this:

Friday, December 21, 2012

suck brick kid

"And there were in the same country shepherds abiding in the field, keeping watch over their flock by night. And lo, the angel of the Lord came upon them, and the glory of the Lord shone round about them: and they were sore afraid. And the angel said unto them, 'Fear not: for behold, I bring unto you good tidings of great joy, which shall be to all people. For unto you is born this day in the City of David a Savior, which is Christ the Lord. And this shall be a sign unto you; Ye shall find the babe wrapped in swaddling clothes, lying in a manger.' And suddenly there was with the angel a multitude of the heavenly host, praising God, and saying, 'Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men.'"

Merry Christmas.

Picks:
Atlanta -4
New Orleans +3.0
Tennessee +13.0
Kansas City +6.5
Miami -4.5
San Diego +2.0
Washington -5.5
Pittsburgh -4
St. Louis +3.0
Oakland +9.0
New England -14.5
Houston -7.5
Cleveland +13.0
Chicago -5.5
Baltimore +2.0
San Francisco pick em

Wednesday, December 19, 2012

TCS

just kidding

fucking tem gets married and it ruins the whole show

i don't feel like christmas shopping

broncos will have to win 14 straight games if they're going to win a superbowl ™ this year.  I find that highly unlikely, but it has been fun watching them.

Von miller is a beast, but man JJ Watt is a super beast.

NBA season is about to start.  Nuggets played 18 of their first 25 games on the road, weird schedule.  Most lopsided schedule to start the season since the 92 bulls or something, only 4 times has it been this lopsided...just means they'll have a shitload of home games in January and February.

Carmelo always plays well the year after an olympics.  I'm rooting for the guy, but lets see how long it lasts.

"Nick Saban to stay at Alabama"...ya think?  Dude can stay there, and make as much money as he would in the NFL.  He's got kids falling all over themselves to come there, and he runs that school/town.  He'd be the dumbest man in all of the south if he left...and that's saying something.

SNL had a tribute to the Sandy Hook kids, had a choir of kids singing silent night...it was touching, very nice.

People are sick fucks.  Spent the whole night saturday listening to people argue about a) gun control and b) home schooling your kids.  I told them all they were fucking stupid.  I'm not going to homeschool my kids because there's a .001% chance their school might get shot up.  Of course, now taking that stance, i'll feel dumb if it happens.  But i'm not going to live in fear, nor teach my kids to live in fear.  Second, maybe if the principal had been armed it could have saved lives.  Is saving 10 lives, 15 lives out of the 26 solving the problem?  I don't know, I guess i'd have to ask the parents of the kids who still died.  I've never been a gun guy, but I may be coming around, i'm not sure.  Although i think it would get me into more trouble than protect me. 

get a gun, they're cool

/h

As we embark upon this holiday season, I leave you with one final though on my last post before Christmas










Monday, December 17, 2012

Hail To The Redskins

First place in the NFC East, for now.

Suite LOV logo by Tyler:

Weekend had a lot of knockouts, here are a few:


Grown man: How could Marshall do that to a child after what happened in Newtown?

Poor guy:

When Ricky Rubio calls for the ball, you give him the ball so he can do this:

Dem/Dat:
dem tits
dat ass

Classic Jessica Biel GIF:

Filipino hilarity:
oh my got!he's det!nine-wahn-wahn!he's not moobing!

Dude got blasted:

Friday, December 14, 2012

Giants +1.5 over FALCONS
The birds can suck my dick.

Green Bay -3 over CHICAGO
Bears have no offence

RAMS -3 over Vikes
Fisher rukles

Jax +7 over FINS
I'm so tired right no.

Tampa Bay +3.5 over SAINTS
Sierra Nevada Pale Ale then a few Blue Moons

RAVENS +2.5 over Broncos
The food was terrible.

Colts +8.5 over TEXANS
Dawkins is mad he aint on the Broncos right now

Seattle -535 over BUFFARO
Nigger.  /Django movie

Detroit -6 over ARIZONA
Fucking Lindley

SD -3 over Carolina
I'm warming up my arm right now.

Steelers -1.5 over COWBOYS
When the Cowboys need a win do they get it?

KC +3 over Oakland
Pathetic

NE -5.5 over Niners
Porn

Jets +1.5 over TITANS
ass

Thursday, December 13, 2012

Whiskey

I'm posting from DC this week...Knoxville next week.

Side bar off the Mize/Keef fued on driving times...How long is your commute to work? I've been very fortunate to never have had a commute of over 15 minutes in my life. After all that time I'm not sure I'd handle a long commute very well. I'm up in the DC area this week for a class, and I have some friends in the area that I've been visiting after the class lets out...during rush hour. Yeah, no long commute for Jug. I enjoy not having to spend two hours a day in traffic.

Facebook and Twitter had crickets after the Texans got beatdown by the Pats last Monday. Houston sports fans don't know how to handle the success of their teams very well, so they become instantly obnoxious when their team does well. I actually don't mind the Texans, but find myself rooting against them just to shut their fans up sometimes.

IN YOU PHACE, Rev!

I wonder if this internet thing will ever catch on. Access to too much information is not always a good thing. Cmjug, while I love her to death, is one of those who likes to research medical symptoms on the interwebs and assume the worst. Not good times.

On the agenda for 2013...see Willie Nelson in concert. The dude is old and I want to see him concert before he dies, or before I jump off another bridge. Who knows how that would turn out. Also...maybe the George Strait show at the rodeo since he is retiring.

An angel flight is a flight carrying the casket of a fallen soldier, sailor, marine, or airman. That link is to a good song written by a good song writer about angel flights.

Crown Royal makes a maple flavored whiskey...have you tried it? tasty on the rocks!

Its always interesting listening to local sports talk in different cities. "Will the Ravens even make the playoffs?!?!" Also...as much as everyone loves RGIII...apparently he is a god in the DC area...and in mize's new apartment. When is the move in date?

Do you need help moving? /Cubs chick

cubs chick = mythical beast

That's it...go!

Wednesday, December 12, 2012

I'm all out of knowledge


  • Carmelo Anthony is the greatest american born basketball player of our time
  • Detroit is a shithole and needs to figure out a way to get people to come to basketball games (maybe try winning), or the team is going to get moved to Kansas City.
  • Paul Tagliabue basically gives an FU to Goodell.
  • Lakers continue to suck
  • Larry Frank just looks funny on a sideline to me
  • Youk signed with the Yankees, couldn't care less about those two teams
  • 13 days until Christmas.  My holiday season doesn't feel very holidayish, but that's partly because cmblue and both bgblue's birthdays are in December.
  • despite all the pictures you put out there, mila kunis is still hot
  • I also enjoy Jack Bauer's daughter, and she's back on TV.  Happy Endings is a decent enuff show and has Damon Wayans son on it too

  • I also find Zooey Deschanel oddly intriguing.  I don't know if it's her nerdy-ness, or what but i'm weirdly attracted to her.  I looked for any decent pictures and couldn't find any, so spiff, do your best..or not
That is all

Tuesday, December 11, 2012

I can't compete

Stop it

Arbys just stop it. I don't care where Subway cuts their meat. I don't care if the idiot Subway sandwich artist is not in charge of cutting the ham for my club sammich. Have you seen these kids? Do you really want them cutting the food? They are pretty much guaranteed to get injured. I am glad that a machine somewhere cuts the Subway meat, it has probably saved 1,000 kids' fingers. And while we are at it, Arby's your folks don't instill confidence. Maybe you should revisit this letting them run a meat slicer idea. And drop your prices.

Company Party

Had a company party yesterday that included spouses. All the females told cmtem stories about how their pregnancy went. I think they like to reminice. I have no idea how to spell reminice. That doesn't look right. Oh well. I typed it wrong. So anyway, I am pretty sure cmtem did not enjoy the stories. Overall though a fun night. I didn't think my coworkers were much fun. I am now sure of it, but at least I know I can tolerate being in a fancy situation with them. I didn't embarass myself which was a huge concern.

Facebook

Facestalked the daughter of a coworker. She has over 1,700 friends. I can't even name that many people.

Stop it part 2

People who are inviting me to things everyone knows I won't go to. The Warrior Dash? Really? I am 220+ pounds and totally out of shape. That is basically asking me to commit suicide. Ban the Warrior Dash....too dangerous.


Texans

Thanks for trying. I'll put your chances of winning the title just above the Bucs. So you have like a 2% chance to their 0.5%.





Monday, December 10, 2012

RG-KNIII!!!

Brutal, supposedly no serious damage , I am skeptical. Nice win though.

Fucking fantasy playoffs, was down 6 with Leshoure/Jennings/Owen Daniels against Texans D. Thought I was set, but now it's only Owen+2 vs. Texans D, shitting bricks, cmon fucking Pats, run up the score tonight. WFT, If I lose having gotten 46 from Seattle D, son...RIP Spiff.

Damn, BJ Penn lost pitifully. He needs to retire or give it another shot at LW and retire if he still sucks there.

Pacquiao died for a minute:

Good night sweet princeiao:

Of course someone updated Manny's wiki right after:

Mcdonalds serving breakfast starting at midnight now around here, so suite, but haven't taken advantage of it yet.

I always panic when it comes time to buy gifts, think I'm not going to be able to find anything, but then I always do, still panicking right now though.

Titus Young hilarity:
"The receiver continually complained to coaches and teammates that he should be getting the ball more because he's better than Johnson"

WFT is this shit, NFL edition[Dolphins player regarding week 13 game against Pats]: "It really (ticked) me off," backup defensive tackle Tony McDaniel said, according to The Palm Beach Post. "It was disrespectful to us to run the same play over and over and be successful.: "Normally when somebody's driving down the field, you just think, 'Well, they just had a good run there,' but you run the same play over and over, as a competitor, that (ticks) me off."

Is this fucking idiot serious?

Ray Lewis is gonna have the Justin Tuck facemask when he comes back:

Hate to do this, but it's my duty:
Oh shit, a camera

Just look away

fuck, they got me

To wash your eyes:
dem tits

dat ass

Following up on that previous youtube vid I posted, a 13 minute compilation of driving in Russia:

Don't even have to watch the whole thing for it to be awesome.

One of my favorite GIFs:

I wish for an NFLer to become aware of it and use it as a TD dance.

If and only if you have watched the movie "Flight", watch this, fucking hilarity. Don;t do yourself a disservice and watch it without watching Flight first. If you end up watching it when it comes out on DVD/netflix, remember to come back to this:

Friday, December 07, 2012

picks & thoughts

Next Monday night game is Titans/Jets. EL OH EL.
Schefter was on sportscenter wearing hipster glasses.  Man I really want to kill hipsters.
Sportscenter is such shit nowadays remember when it was gold?  Keef Olbermann/Dan Patrick nightly show.  Now they argue about whether ot not Kobe is the greatest Laker of all time.  Or which Heisman candidate will be the best pro.  Speaking of Heizy* imagine being Collin Klein and being the third wheel invite having absolutely no shot at all at winning this thing.  I mean it's all Manziel and Teo at this point.  Everyone knows this.  Klein is the Ross Perot of this shit.

Speaking of Ross hope you guys are aware he is one of the best businessmen in American History.  That is no hyperbole my friend.  Might be one of the only guys to sell two holding companies to two corp giants for 2 billion plus TWICE in his career.

Fuck Kobe.  And fuck Jordan too.  Assholes.

When Oreos dye the cream filling it fucking infuriates me.  Red cream.  Dick move bro.

Bruce Lee would win UFC if he were alive today.

Had off yesterday worked most of the day.  So far it's been fun being the main boss.  S. 

PICKS

St. Lou +3 over BUFFALO
Jeff Fisher's stache vs. Chain Gailey's dentures?  WHO YA GOT.

CINCY -3 over Dallas
Funny thing about the Giants loss was pretending that Dallas would have a shot at the division going into the last game with Washington.  Maybe the Redskins will have that shot.  Dallas will lose two more, this one for sure.  Cincy has played really well for quite some time now.

Kc +6.5 over BROWNS
Since when are the Browns allowed to give points?

COLTS -5.5 over Titans
I agree with Freak.  Luck has been better.  RGIII is running a gimmick offense. To some extent.  And has a power running game to rely on.

Bears -3 over VIKES
Keep.  Pace. With. Green Bay. Setting. Up. Showdown.

Steelers over San Diego, line don't matter.  Hope it snows.  Interested to see how many picks Rivers will throw in the snow.

TAMPA -7.5 over Philly
Got nothing.  Philly playing out the string is all I have to say about that.  Fucking Bryce Brown ending my fantasy season stings the nostrils.  Hope his momma dies.

Baltimore +2.5 over the RGIII's
No Suggs it seems.  Just think Baltimore is pissed off they just lost to Charlie Fucking Batch at home. 

Atlanta -3.5 over CAROLINA
Fly Falcons Fly.

JAX +2.5 over Jets
Never picking the Jets ever again.  Ever.  If I do please smack my face.

Miami +10 over SF
10?  Miami is fiesty. 10 seems high.

SEATTLE -10 over Arizona
10?  Arizona offense blows?  10 seems low.

GB -7 over Det
Rodgers numbers still sick ya know. 

NE-3.5 over Houston
It's cold.

Thursday, December 06, 2012

MACLIN!!!!!

I'm running a bit late this morning. Actually, if I ran maybe I wouldn't be as late.

I don't travel much for my yob, but I'll be on the road the next two weeks starting on Sunday. Next week I'll be in DC, and the week after I'll be in Knoxville.

Tonight I'm going here for this. The site says "An intimate acostic performance...". Knows English. The House of Blues is a decent enough venue, but expensive to drink at. Titty bar prices without the titties.

Funny headline: Madam to Finger NFL Bigs

I'm slightly hungover.

Playoffs start in fantasy this weekend in 2 of my 3 leagues. Matt Ryan has been killing me lately. I don't have MACLIN on any of my teams.

Kobe hit 30,000 points last night and I'm already tired of all the "where does he rank all time" and "who is the greatest Laker of all time" talk. Who is the greatest LOV-er of all time?

GO!



Wednesday, December 05, 2012

I don't want yer life

  • Today is Wednesday, December 5th. 
  • There are 19 shopping days left until Christmas.
  • Today is bgblue1's 5th birthday
  • Tomorrow is tem's 30somethingish birthday
  • Blue's sister is still pregnant
  • Blue's mom is upset because the father is black (like if a white dude had got her pregnant it would be all ok)
  • Blue offered to adopt the baby, only if it was a boy.  Sister of Blue is like 5'10 so this black baby is gonna be a basketball superstar
  • Tebow is not gonna start for the JETS (TP is sad)
  • Does Dan Shanoff still have a job?
  • I always enjoy Elf at christmas time, but not that goofy idiot that plays buddy on the broadway production
  • Wizards beat the Heat last night.  Flip's 3rd straight win against Lebron and the boyz
  • Is Flip Saunders still their coach?
  • Nope, it's Randy Wittman
  • Google masheen works wonders
  • Bielema choses to go cheer pig sooey. 
  • Idaho hired Petrino
  • Robin Yount can still hit, Dale Sveuem* can attest to that
  • whatta gotta Pelicans?  Why not change your name to the Voodoos or the Shadowmen or Beads or Bourbon Street or something less ghey but not french.
  • CU wants to hire Butch something from Cincinatti, he was all on board until he found out he could get the job at Wisconsin.
  • Von Miller should be the Defensive Player of the year.  Not that i'm biased or anything
  • Baseball winter meetings are heating up, who ya got?
  • Thursday night football always creeps up on me quick like.

Tuesday, December 04, 2012

Headlines


NHL
Got an email ad to buy Blue Jackets tickets for this year. I don't think Ticketmaster got the memo.

MLB
ARod is having hip surgery for a swollen vagina. El pad would still do him.

Red Sox want Dickey. El Pad will be crushed for multiple reasons. In other news Dickey will suck next year.

Grady Sizemore had more surgery....no shit, he is always hurt.

NCAAF
La Tech found out that beggars can't be choosers. Good year players, bad year AD.

Why wouldn't fans from Fl. State just buy the tickets from NIU? It's not like NIU has any chance of having a 50-50 stadium. They might as well just sell the tickets they can't use (approximately 90% of their allotment) and not eat the cost.

People take the BCS shit too seriously. Look if you don't make the title game then you lost. The bowl you go to only matters if you are in the Pac 12 or Big 10 because then the Rose Bowl means something. Otherwise there is no difference between the Fiesta Bowl and the Capital One Bowl. The Cotton Bowl might be the best of them all and it isn't BCS. I say good for NIU, they get some good publicity and it good for the school. Hell more people might watch that game than if it were FSU vs Rutgers. Where is the story there?

NBA
Lakers struggles should surprise nobody. See Miami Heat Year 1.

Memphis and Miami are apparently the best teams.

El Pad's Nets team isn't too bad. Although the guy with the hair is hurt or something.

UFC
Diaz over Henderson - I am not sure Henderson is tough enough to beat Diaz. The only way Henderson wins is if he catches Diaz. He can't outstrike or out grapple him. All he can do is out run him. He'll run around the cage and frustrate Diaz until Diaz does something dumb. Then I think Diaz gets away with doing something dumb and the Diaz as a champion era starts. It will end with his first title defense or after he fails the post fight drug test.

Gustafsson over Rua - I hate saying Rua so I am picking the other guy. He is a rising star and the UFC needs one in the Light Heavy Weight division to challenge Jones. Rua is a tough dude, but I think the other guy is too quick. Too quick I say.

MacDonald over Penn - I don't trust BJ Penn to be in any sort of shape for this fight. If he is in good shape it is a good fight. But I expect BJ to have about 1 and a half rounds of energy and that won't cut it. MacDonald by late round TKO or submission.

Brown over Swick - Swick won't be quick enough...haha see what I did there? Anyway, I think Brown wins this in a boring decision. The show starts out rough if this is fight 1.

Undercard:
Chiesa over LeVesseur
Easton over Assunção
Phan over Siver
Proctor over Nijem
Edwards vver Stephens
Martinez over Cruickshank
Jorgensen over Albert
Trujillo over Means

NFL
Harbaugh's seems to be mean coaches. Especially at handshake time.

Alex Smith must have done something bad. I have no idea why they think Kaepernick should start over him. None. Other than a good QB sweep I am not sure what Kaepernick brings that Smith is terrible at. Smith is an above average scrambler.

McElroy...who knew?

GMen are so predictable. They need to be not believed in. That is poor phrasing but you know what I mean.

Vick to Raiders is close to being real.

Geno Smith to Cardinals.

Alex Smith to Vikings.

Barkley to Chiefs.


Other
I hate when people slow down for a cop driving on an interstate. Like passing one is illegal. Look, he isn't going to pull you over. Especially when he is from 2 counties over. Haven't you seen Dukes of Hazzard? He has no jurisdiction. Dumb Asses.


Monday, December 03, 2012

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino