Friday, June 29, 2012

El Pad Q&A (kod edition)



Did your parents strike you when growing up?

Nope, I was “sauced” as a kid. Once my parents caught wise that a) I knew they wouldn't strike me b) I didn’t really mind the taste of soap, and c) soap did not agree with my digestive system, they got more creative (and by creative, I mostly mean evil).  Tabasco sauce was my punishment.  They did have to stop it at some point around 6th grade when they put way too much in, and my tongue swelled up massively.

On an unrelated note (unrelated according to my parents, at least), I cannot eat anything remotely spicy, I don’t even like pepper.


Did they run the AC in the summer?

Yes.  My dad is pretty thrifty though, so the house was usually set around 74-76 degrees in summer time.  I never minded though, we had a nice in-ground pool to keep cool in summer, and a furnished basement with tv/vcr and Nintendo that was usually in the upper 60s.

Growing up, I only had one friend who didn’t have AC.   His parents made a shit ton of money too; I never fully understood it, and hated going over to his house in the summer because of it (plus, no basement option).  I dunno, his parents were abnormally old, maybe they had some remaining baggage from growing up in the Great Depression era.


Do you remember your first kiss?

Yes, and it was awful.  I was so disappointed, I had looked forward to that moment for quite a while…thankfully she was just a really, REALLY bad kisser.


What was your mother's best dish?

My mom was a very good cook.  For some reason though, after I hit about 8th grade, she stopped cooking almost entirely.   I think it may be because my dad is even better, and she didn't want to deal with the competition, so just decided to leave it all to him.  Fair enough in my view, she was always the breadwinner of the family anyway, and he was more responsible for the domestic stuff (cooking, cleaning, taking care of us kids, etc.).   Definitely her apple pie, as it's the one thing I can honestly say that I have never had better anywhere else.

Quick aside:  there is a long line of great male cooks in my family….yet I can’t even get cereal right; go figure

First car?

It was a 1991 Chrysler Lebaron convertible I got for my 16th birthday; I had it for an entire two weeks before totaling it.

Best friend?
Non-family it’s my buddy Adam; we go back to 4th grade and still keep in touch frequently; usually getting  together once every few months when I get down to the Twin Cities.  Sounds kinda lame, but really, since graduating college, my closest friends (in no particular order) have been my dad, my wife, sdkod2 and sskod, and my boss.

How many fights have you gotten into?

really nothing of note. I do remember punching a kid named Jim in the face in 4th grade, and then feeling absolutely terrible when he started crying.   I vowed to never punch anyone in the face again, and so far, I’ve been able to make good on that promise.  Back in college, some really drunk random kid was throwing awful, sloppy, haymakers at me while I was in line at Hardees after the bars in Winona.  That was the only time I was really ever tempted, that was a surreal experience.

A female friend of mine from Madison was visiting me, and after going out to the bars with some friends, she and I stopped by Hardees to get some food before heading back to my apartment.  On the way in this obviously smashed scrawny dude with a white fro looked at me and said "what's up?".  I said "hey" and walked in, got in line, and all of a sudden he kept yelling at me some crazy shit.  I tried to diffuse him, but he was nuts, and he starts just swinging at me with these slow motion haymakers.  It would have been so easy to destroy him, but I was afraid of getting arrested for assault, or other trouble.

This was also before cell phones were all that prevalent, but catching on.  So....as he's swinging at me, I'm shuffling around him yelling at people in line, "anyone have a cell phone, call the police or I"m going to end up hurting this guy."

Finally, a manager came out and apparently knew this guy; he ended up kicking me and my friend out.  Fortunately, it ended the situation.  Unfortunately, I didn't get my Frisco Burger.

I didn't get laid that night either, I wonder if it would have been different had I fought back.

Have you committed a crime?

Haha, next.

What was your first job?

Tennis Instructor for kids and adults, and Middle School Tennis Coach…..I did that every summer for 5 years.  I remember getting paid $7.25/hr when I was first hired at 15, and at that time, and feeling rich since all my friends were making around $4.50-$5.50.  Of course, I was working a lot harder than them was as well, it was about 50 hours per week outside continually running around.   It was an unbelievable gig that I was very fortunate to land and absolutely loved; I’m also very grateful that I never have to do it again.

Favorite sports moment?

1991 Twins/Braves World Series.  Top 3 moments from there 1) Kirby’s Game 6 walkoff (right after saving the Twins with the catch up against the old Metrodome Plexiglas).  2) Jack Morris going 10 innings in game 7, and 3) Ron Gant sliding off the base and then trying to argue Hrbek threw him off (hehe, hi beth) 

Close second was EHS taking the state hockey championship in 97 against heavily favored Duluth East, and then watching the team wheeling out our player who had been left paralyzed earlier in the season from a cheap shot/cross-check to the back up against the glass, to give him the MVP award.  The entire student section was chanting his name the last 3 minutes of regulation while holding onto the 1 goal lead.

Are you afraid of anything?

Heights, bees/wasps, fear itself.

Any Regrets?

I try to live as regret free as possible, noting that we all make mistakes, and that things we see as regrets are part of what led us to where we are now, and who we are today.  That being said, I regret causing the accident mentioned above.

Thursday, June 28, 2012

El Pad’s Q&A – estrogen edition


OK, first let’s get the obvious jokes out of the way – my first kiss was with my “uncle” at 8 and my criminal history includes 3 years as a hooker.  OK, now that that’s done I’m actually going to answer these seriously, so be forewarned. 

Did your parents strike you when growing up?
Nope, but that could be because it was just mom (“dad” left when I was 4).  Although looking back on it she should’ve beat the hell out of me at least a few times, instead it was just a LOT of yelling.

Did they run the AC in the summer?
That’s a clown question bro…it was Georgia, of course we did.  And during the late spring and early fall normally too.

Do you remember your first kiss?
Of course, although I can’t quite remember if I was in 4th or 5th grade.   I had the biggest crush on him and was the kind of excited that only 4th or 5th grade girls can get. 

What was your mother's best dish?
Mom wasn’t big on cooking since but I loved her beef stroganoff.

First car?
A piece of shit 78 Buick Century that was basically a gift from a guy I knew and had pity on me when I moved out from mom.  It was beat to hell on the outside but actually ran pretty well.  My friends used to tease me that both my car and I were born the same year.

Best friend?
This is where I’m lucky in that I have an AMAZING best friend, Steph.  We’ve known each other for years and years and met when we were waitressing together.  She's one of those I-can-tell-anything friends.  Most of my vacations now are with her and we probably see each other 4-5 days each week.  And at the risk of zeke showing back up just to tell me I stole this off the internet, here’s a pic of me and her for y’all to pick apart, or for EP to make his desktop wallpaper.  (In case it's not obvious, that's me on the left and Steph on the right.)

How many fights have you gotten into?
One’ish.  I slapped a girl in high school once for calling me “the C word” (can’t remember why she called me that) and she slapped me back.  We were just about to really go at it (meow) when we were pulled apart. 

Have you committed a crime?
Are we including driving drunk in this?  Cause if so yeah, more times than I care to admit when I was young and stupid.  Oh so I guess you can add underage drinking to that too.  But if we’re including those I bet practically everyone on LOV qualifies.  Other than those though, no.

What was your first job?
I worked for one summer when I was 15 at The BEAST – McDonald’s.  I worked drive-through and it really sucked, but at closing time you got to eat all the leftover food.  This led to lots of food being made 5 minutes before close, but also to an extra 10 pounds. 

Favorite sports moment?
Sid Bream’s slide, even over the Braves 95 championship.  (Yeah, I was cool for a 14-year old girl.)  From a personal athletics view, finishing my 1st marathon in 2005 is my favorite moment.

Are you afraid of anything?
Unlike a lot of women I can kill a spider, but cockroaches absolutely freak me out and I refuse to ever squish one again.  That crunching sound totally grosses me out (shudder).

Any regrets?
Oh god yes, where do I start?  (That’s pretty much NS too.)  Let’s just stick to the top few. 
- I regret giving my mom all kinds of hell from basically when I was 16 'til I moved out at 18. I was an absolute bitch and she deserved better.  Thankfully we eventually got past that and really get along well now.
- I regret how I acted the first few years after leaving home – let’s just say the clich├ęd slutty jokes about me on LOV were much closer to reality back then.
- I wish I’d grown up and left my waitressing job earlier.  It turns out I’m actually pretty damn good at my job now (and not in an EP way but in a reality way) so I wish I’d started doing something similar earlier.
- And of course, I regret those 6 abortions.  
   (Come on, I HAD to throw something like that in, but that’s total S.)

Good lord this turned out long.  I feel like just I've had a therapy session.

Wednesday, June 27, 2012

El Pad Q&A: Blue Edition

Did your parents strike you when growing up?
Strike me as what? If you're asking did my parents hit me, yeah, they hit me. I think the last time I got hit I was 12 or 13. They didn't beat me, but that's how they disciplined, sometimes they hit me with stuff, like a belt or something. I didn't think anything of it. Oh how times have changed.

Did they run the AC in the summer?
Fuck yeah, what kind of clown question is this? When else would you run the AC? Us rich folk ran the AC in the winter just to be dicks. Honestly I don't remember having a house that didn't have central air. My grandpa taught HVAC repair at Boise State, and two of my uncles went into that line of work, so we always had AC. On a side note, my grandpa only had a window unit in their family room, that always kind of struck me as funny, but he had like 4 refrigerators and 3 freezers and an icemaker.

Do you remember your first kiss?
Yep, it was in a lawnmower shed or whatever in somebody's back yard. Kirsten Von Allmen, 6th grade. It was the talk of school the next day because not many people were "frenching" back then. I know you guys probably don't know what that is, it's when you kiss with your tongue. I'll teach you some west coast vocab later if you want.

What was your mother's best dish?
1987 Chevy Celebrity. Hand me down, was my dad's "work car". Used to race the shit out of that car in highschool, and in my opinion I was unbeatable. Dropped it into a canal and roughed it up pretty bad. Sold it to my cousin for $200.

Best friend?
Don't really have one. I moved around a ton growing up so I don't have that one friend who i've known since i was 6. I have a buddy that i went to college with that like a brother to me, but he still lives in Northern Idaho, and i'm not real good with the "keeping up".

How many fights have you gotten into?
0...exciting huh? I never met an idiot that I couldn't talk my way out of a fight with. I've had a lot of people who wanted to hit me. I did get smacked once by some cowboy in Boise. I was in my car "cruising" looking for chicks, and i was being a smart ass, so he walked up to the car at a red light and tried to smack me. I laughed at him and drove off.

Have you committed a crime?
Yep. I was a shoplifter when I was younger (junior high). I stole everything. That's what happens when your best friend is black, he teaches you shit like that. Plus the people that were watching for shoplifters always watched the one black guy in the neighborhood, he was a great distraction, so i'd split my burgled items. I stole probably half of my baseball card collection. We used to have fun with the clerk at 7-11, we'd pick stuff up in plain view and put it in our pockets. Then go towards the back of the store and drop it. Then they'd accuse us and search us, and we wouldn't have shit. We'd laugh..the black dude always threatened to call the cops and report them for being racist (which is probably a crime).

What was your first job?
I worked at a Jack in the Box for a minute after I graduated from Highschool. Learned how to make a mean ass pizza working at Roundtable my first year in collitch.

Favorite sports moment?
I don't really have one. I guess watching Matt Holliday slide into home in the play-in game a few years ago to beat the Padres. He probably didn't touch home, but the ump called him safe. Two personal sports moments I have engrained in my memory, playing in the CA state championship game as a senior. It was D-2, but that year the conference we played in had a team in the D-1 and D-3 championship game as well. Our conference ruled Nor-Cal that year. FYI D-1 in CA is the highest, they don't do that 5A crap or whatever. We played in the Oakland Coliseum or whatever it's called now...fun as hell, but we lost. JR Henderson was on the other team, not sure if anyone other than Tyler would know who he is. The other personal sports moment, 12 years old, in the baseball playoffs semi-final game. We're down 2 in the bottom of the 6th inning. There's a runner on 2nd, and I smash a ball to deep right field. With the roll the ball probably went 450 feet (we didn't have a fence at that field). I take off and run as fast as I can, even though I could have walked around the bases. I missed 2nd base as i'm rounding the bags, I hesitate slightly but keep going. The ump sees me hesitate, and so did the other coach. Because i'm too dumb to go back, i score and tie the game, only to be called out on appeal. We lose by a run, and don't get to play in the championship game... fuck.

Are you afraid of anything?
Stupid fuckers with guns...that's about it.

Any Regrets?
Nope. "No Regrets, that's my motto. That and everyone wang chung tonight." Bonus points for anyone who knows what movie and what actor said that. But that's the truth, I don't regret anything. I know i've made mistakes and fucked up plenty, but i've never looked back and thought, damn, i wish I wouldn't have done that. Of course i've never been to jail, or gotten into any serious trouble, so i've got that going for me.



Tuesday, June 26, 2012

El Pad Q&A tem (boring) edition

Did your parents strike you when growing up?
Not after I was like 4. At least I don’t think so. I don’t really remember anything specific in my life before Age 17. I remember general things like where I went to school and who my friends were, but if you ask me about specific events chances are good I will not remember them. My long term memory is shit. So is my short term memory. Maybe I should sue the NCAA for this football brain injury stuff. In any case, I think I was a pretty good kid, so I didn’t need struck.

Did they run the AC in the summer?
Yeah, we had a window unit in their room and a window unit in the dining room. When I got to hike school I got a window unit.

Do you remember your first kiss?
No. It was probably in fifth grade with Sarah C, but I don’t remember it. (see: memory = bad)

What was your mother's best dish?
She makes good cookies. Her dinner food is solid, but she isn’t some sort of amazing chef. I guess her best dinner dish was some sort of shake n bake pork chop concoction. Pork chops, peas and mac n cheese was a solid dinner.

First car?
1982 RX-7. It was cool. The seats were tore up, but I got some seat covers.

Best friend?
I have lots of people I could call to bail me out if shit got bad, but my friends from way back live somewhere else. So if I needed picked up somewhere I couldn’t call them. My friend Dave from grade school is probably my best friend, but he lives in Pittsburgh and I don’t talk to him that much. Not enough to go telling everyone that he is my bestest friend.

How many fights have you gotten into?
Umm, between 0 and 3. Those were all before I was 14. Most people don’t mess with me and I don’t really have the temperament to start shit. Some drunk guy hit me in the chest a couple years back, but he was hammered and it didn’t have anything on it. He got mad because he was hitting on cmtem (she was just cgftem then) and I marked my territory. Anyway, his friends grabbed him after he hit me and apologized for him. I just told them they might want to get him home before he hurts himself.

Have you committed a crime?
I stole a barstool from a bar. I speed when I drive. So, no, not really. At least nothing that counts.

What was your first job?
After school day care worker. Then day camp counselor. It was OK. I like kids in small doses. They are fun when you can get them all riled up and then send them home to mom and dad before they get cranky. I got yelled at a lot though by one kids’ mom. He was a fat fuck and had asthma. I would always get in trouble because she would find out that he ran. Like I was going to put him on a leash all day so he didn’t run. And to be honest, he was a fat fuck, so what she called running I called fat man walking downhill. It was a little faster than his normal pace, but he wasn’t running.

Favorite sports moment?
I don’t really remember any special sports moments in my life. I have lots of trophies for shit that I don’t remember so maybe one of those would be it for me. The Buccaneers winning the Super Bowl would probably be my favorite sports moment that didn’t involve me. I also really liked it when Ricky Vaughn struck out that guy and the Indians won the pennant. They deserved to win it.


Are you afraid of anything?
Not really. I mean I get nervous at times even now. If I am going to have a big work conversation or even if it is a big at bat in rec league softball (if there can be such a thing) I get nervous. And I get startled, like if a spider comes down and lands on my head I’ll jump up and wipe off my head like 100 times. I probably look like a 3 Stooge. But I don’t really consider those fears.

I guess I am fearful that if me and cmtem have a kid that it will be retarded for whatever reason. Whether it be karma or whatever. It would suck if there was a little tem and he was retarded because of something I did.

It isn’t like I am overly brave though. I am just even keeled and try not to do too many stupid things.

But I wouldn’t say I am afraid of anything in the traditional sense. Heights don’t bother me, closed in spaces don’t bother me, bees don’t scare me, etc….

Any regrets?
Obvious answer is the whole exfemtem stuff, but I don’t regret any of that. I wouldn’t change that. It ended up well for me (at least so far) so I wouldn’t change any of that for fear (aha so I do have fear) of changing the present with cmtem.

I do regret not joining the swim team in high school. Back then it just seemed too gay, but it would have been a good way to build some more muscles, especially not really used ones. It seems now that people my age who swam are in better shape than people who played other sports. I regret not sticking with karate and not learning to play an instrument. Well a cool instrument. I regret not putting more effort into football and baseball. I basically play in 3rd gear. I always wonder what could have been if I had played in 5th gear. Realistically probably the same that happened when I played in 3rd gear, but it sometimes bothers me not knowing for sure.





Monday, June 25, 2012

El Pad Q&A Mize Edition

Did your parents strike you when growing up?
Of course. Both of them.  My Mom used whatever rigid object she could.  Old man bloodied me on Thanksgiving in 8th grade.

Did they run the AC in the summer?
I assume so.  I think we had central air even when we were poorish.

Do you remember your first kiss?
Yeah, who doesn't?  My first kiss and my first meaningful kiss are different stories, though.  I know I kissed this girl I liked back in like 4th or 5th grade.  Her name is Hyacinth. She was fine.  My first real good but some shake in your bones kiss was my friend Lisa.  Everybody assumed we were fucking anyway since we shared a locker.  Yeah, I was that guy.  Still kinda am.  Oblivious to these chicks that dig me. Oh well.

What was your mother's best dish?
I don't know. She's the one that put me onto lobster, so it could be that. That's just my favorite though. Her best is probably steak. I can't cook a good steak for shit. Its the one thing I can't cook just right, and it pisses me off. I guess that's one of the reasons I say I don't care for it. I'm still a better cook than your mother, though.

First car?
1991 4 door Chevy Cavalier. I got it with 179,000 miles on it. My Dad bought it for $800 with money he owed me. I lent him $1500 for a motorcycle, and he called it even. Then in 2000, he flipped it to one of my friends for $900. I really can't stand that motherfucker.

Best friend?
I guess Jay. Probably not in the true sense, but that's what people say.

How many fights have you gotten into?
Too many. Didn't take many losses in my career, but the losses I took were significant and I learned very important lessons from them. One of those lessons is don't be concerned with fighting fair. I was getting ready to square up with Jay in 7th grade, and he did NOT wait for me to square up. he bombed on my left eye like 5 times in a row, undefended. I was so shook, I hit him with an open hand. Yes, I slapped him when I should have put the KO bomb on him. I still get shit for it. I didn't hit the deck though. Even then, I had been in too many fights to hit the canvas. I fought A LOT in Milwaukee. That happened a ton being a white boy hanging out with black kids. You're an easy target, and in the 80s kids my age had parents that were born into segregation. I had to stand up to some of the alleged baddest motherfuckers in school. They always thought they were picking on a little white boy that wouldn't fight back. I hit this dude named Carlos with an entire desk once. Yes, I picked that fucking thing up in Homeroom and threw it all kinds of in his face. I once bashed one of my best friends' face in on the pencil sharpener, WWF style. There's only so much abuse a person can take before they go ape on you.

Have you committed a crime?
A felony? Fuck no. I ain't a damn fool.

What was your first job?
I worked at the Grafton Mobil station. It sucked. My friends would come in in droves and rob the store. And then my boss would ream me out. The fuck is a 14/15 year old kid supposed to do when a dozen people rush in and empty the shelves? Get some cameras, you cheap fuck.

I consider CCW my first job. I loved working there. Every day was a party. Smoking, drinking, promiscuity, the whole nine. Got my first beejer on that golf course. Shit, my advice to any HS kid I talk to that's looking for a job is to get a job at a golf course. And not being a maintenance grunt, get a job on the clubhouse side, and ball the fuck out. Fuck bitches, get money, make connections, and play a fuckload of golf. Golf is one of the absolute best tools you can have in your bag. A GREAT life skill.

Favorite sports moment?
I think it has to be Ryan Braun's home run against the Marlins to clinch the division last year, sitting at the cake bar in Austin, and being the only person there who gave a damn about the game. I looked at the score, the count, the runners on, the outs, and said "Oh my god, he's gonna hit a home run here". And he did. And I cried a bit that night whether or not you saw it. I still smile and mist up when I watch this video.



Are you afraid of anything?
Duh. Heights. I am terrified of the thought of falling off something, even though I was a tree climber when I was a kid. Even now. I have no problem climbing up on the roof on a ladder, but the getting down part is what shakes the fuck out of me. I'd rather jump off the roof. I feel like I'm more in control in that situation. I don't trust ladders and things like that.

Any regrets?
Sure. Nothing I really wanna dive into right now though.

I hope this was up to snuff.

Friday, June 22, 2012

Q&A With El Pad sponsored by Glenlivet 12 yeard old Single Malt Scotch

Do your parents strike you growing up? 
Yes.  Both.

Did they run the AC in the summer?
Only in their bedroom so we'd sleep on the floor most summers.  Until about age 12 then we had on in the living room and we'd sleep on the pull out couch.

Did you remember your first kiss?
Yes.  In Brooklyn we called making out "going".  You'd say yea I went with her or yeah we are going together to explain to friends your "dating".  I can school you all on Brooklyn talk during the Summit.

What was your mothers best dish?
My mother was a BEAST in the kitchen.  She was puerto rican ya know.  But we were brought up "Italian Style".  So she knew all the classics.  On top of killer spanish food so I'd have to say despite the love for a mean plate of rice and beans I loved her fresh manicotti.  Best I ever ate.  Fresh made pasta filled with fresh ricotta topped with her marinara with a meatball.  Up there for last meal considerations.

First car?
1988 or 89 can't remember Buick Oldmobile station wagon with the wood paneling on the side.  White.

Best friend?
Now or past. Doesn't make sense right.  My best out of town friend is my boy Rob he lives in Florida.  We were tight when I moved to Florida we got along great and if I didn't move back the NYC I'd imagine we'd be boys, I mean we still are we talk all the time not something I do with any other friend I got there.  My best friend here is my boy Wolf.

How many fights have you gotten into?
Define fight.  I punched this kid Daryl square in the face because my dad told me too.  He stole my money twice and he was big so I was sort of shook.  Dad wasn't having that he got me fired up, probably the last day I ever was actually afraid of someone.  Like Biggie said, Niggas Bleed Just Like Us.  He basically said no one likes to get punched in the face.  Boy was he right.  So I don't count that.  I remember 6 fights.  None since age 23 was the last one.  Outside a bar.

Have you ever committed a crime?
Absolutely.  Several.  Not proud of any of them.  In fact I get a little embarrassed.  I broke into a few cars, would start them and get out so the KHB could joyride in them.  (Kings Highway Boys).  I shoplifted a few times.  Got arrested once for doing so.  Actually that time I was switching tags at Burlington Coat factory trying to get top merchandise for 75% less for some stupid reason.  Pretty sure that was Rob's idea.  Graffitti summons.  Sold pot.  I was arrested for endangering the public for driving 115MPH on Forest Hill Blvd. in Florida.  Both that and the shoplifiting charges were dropped after a plea deal.  Pleaded no contest and was placed on probation for 6 months and did 40 hours of community service.  Moved back to NYC in June of 1998 a month after probation expired.

What was your first job?
Bagger at Publix.  Then I bussed tables at a diner.  Then a painter, I painted a library and a few muncipal buildings with an uncle.  Then Walgreens.  Then Rite-Aid and some side work.  I've pretty much always had 2 jobs.  Even if one of them was sparse or once a week.  Also I used to DJ but only house parties and no equipment I had two shelf systems I'd lug around with me, 4 cassettes at a time and treat them like a dj would treat two turntables minus the scratching.  I made my own mixtapes and sold them in school, work, etc.  My name was DJ Tone.  NS.

Favorite sports moment?
Easy.  18-1.

Are you afraid of anything?
Yes.  Getting fat.  NS.  Just the inevitability of things like beer bellies and shit like that.  I'd like to avoid all of that shit.  So far so good.

One more.....

Any regrets?
Yes and no.  So yes got it / Keef.  Here's the thing.
  You shouldn't have any regrets.  I feel like it's a bad state of mind.  But I do wish honestly that I would have given baseball a fair shake.  I was really good.  Not just saying this in the El Pad style of WORK, I was very good.  As a freshman I started in high school, then I moved to Florida and started as a sophmore on the varsity team.  I broke the school record of stolen bases (got a letter about 3 years ago saying it was broken) I closed games.  Junior year had some good numbers repped the school in an all-star game.  Then I quit.  Was playing travel ball, quit that too.  Quit soccer, quit football, quit everything but getting high and fucking bitches.  Was dumb.  I'd like to blame my mother but it's on me.  That's a cop out.  So what she was drunk all the time.  I just wish I gave baseball a shot when I moved back to NYC I tried out for the CUNY Team and made first and second cut.  Didn't make the third.  Never tried again.  No regrets though life has turned out pretty well.  (Sounds like a regret to me.  /keef)

As.

Thursday, June 21, 2012

This is a clown post bro…


I bet if I didn’t mention it right at the beginning of this post EP would never realize that this isn’t a Jug post…

I think I’m going to use the married guy strategy with this post– make sure to not do it well enough to get asked to do it again.  Hey, if it works for you married guys with laundry, etc. I figure it should work for me with posting on LOV.  (Well except that hopefully your wives have more of an expectation of competence with housework than LOV does with posts...)  Consistent with that, I think the rest of this post is just going to be random shit.  In other words, like about 90% of LOV posts already.

Random Atlanta sports fact – The Braves this year are 0-10 on Mondays.  WTF? 

Random pet peeve – All those damn 13.1 distance stickers showing up on cars all over Atlanta (and presumably across the country, well except for Wisconsin).  A half marathon is a nice accomplishment but wait 'til you run a full 26.2 to get a sticker.   Even worse are the people who run a half but refer to it as “a marathon”.  
(Random side note on this - I saw a distance sticker the other day that Rev should have on his car – 0.0)

Random album that is way underrated – Peter Gabriel’s untitled 1980 album (unofficially known as “Melt” because of the melting face cover).  Most people probably only know "Games Without Frontiers" and "Biko" from it, but every song on there is either very good or great.

Random huge hit movie that I think everyone but me has seen – Top Gun

Random thought about vegetarians/Random rant – I hate how seemingly every vegetarian goes out of their way to tell you they are vegetarian.  If you don’t want to eat meat I respect that, but you don’t need to bring it up every damn chance you get.  Think about it, have you ever known a person for awhile yet were surprised when you found out they were a vegetarian cause they’d never mentioned it before?  I doubt it.

Random sex facts (cause I figure I have to talk about sex at least a little) – Based on a 2006 study, the average age for first intercourse is 16.9 for guys and 17.4 for girls.  (EP mentioning how he allegedly had sex at age 14 in 3…2…1...)  Yet even though women start a little later we not only catch up but pass you guys, because by age nineteen 69% of guys have had sex while 77% of women have. 

OK, that’s enough for this post.  I have to try and save some ideas for next week too.  (Damn that lazy jug…)

Wednesday, June 20, 2012

All hail the KING

I'd still rather have Durant on my team. He is only 23 years old, so in the end, my bet is he finishes with more championships than the KING, just probably not this year. Hurts Durant that he plays in the West too, much tougher conference.

The Rockies pitching is so bad, they have decided to go with a 4 man rotation. Seriously. Their starters are going to be on a 75 pitch count so they can all come back on 3 days rest. This is the most assinine thing I've ever heard of. Their starters ERA is over 6 and most of them don't make it out of the 4th inning anyway, so i guess he's just setting expectations low.

I was going to do a mailbag today, because that seemed interesting, but I went to a company Birthday Party for one of the executives and got loaded. No sexy time for me when I come home all drunk and smelling of strippers.

The saints bounty system stuff is funny. These guys all know they did it. Now, that Hargrove guy is denying that it's his voice saying "Give me My MONEY" after he knocke Favre out of the game. Well who else would have said that douchebag? Did people have side bets on who would win the bounty?

I don't think crepes are any good

breakfast burritos are the best morning food on the planet.

Tuesday, June 19, 2012

No surprise

So is anyone surprised that the Mess have a guy named Dickey dominating? If they could only get Bobby Cox out of retirement to manage.....


Lawyer talk...don't care about Clemens and Sandusky sounds like he is fucked because he fucked little boys. He will die in prison. Does PA have the death penalty?


The guy from the west coast that got sent away for a rape he didn't commit and is now getting NFL tryouts tolt* people he was in for a home invasion. Because he knew rapists got fucked in jail. Some sort of irony there...the jail people hate rapists so they rape them.


My uncle's 15 run pool is up over $800. Everyone root for whatever team I have to get 15 runs. I don't know what team I have. I should find out.


Bobcats hired Dunlap apparently. I guess Jordan didn't want someone who he had previously interviewed. Also he has never been a head coach...this should end well.


Jug married yet?


tOSU forward Sullinger got some medical red flags....dude cost himself millions by staying in school. Millions. Anyone who advised him to stay in school should be ashamed. I mean that. He was a guaranteed top 3 pick last year, maybe number 1. That is top of the line money. He risked it and went back to school and now he might fall out of the lottery. Also he won't be a good pro so he needed to get the money while he could. Dude can't jump and is only 6'9" or so. Maybe 6'9 1/2". I guess it doesn't matter though because statistics say that he would have burned through the money anyway and been broke in 5 years. But as an tOSU guy he will always have a job in Columbus. A good paying job too. He can sell insurance and probably make $100K a year. Not because he is worth it, but because he was a tOSU star. More than likely he'll get in with one of the land development people that are backed by former tOSU players' money.


I should go to work. But first chocolate milk.


El pad loves Dickey.


Monday, June 18, 2012

I'm Tired, And The Brewers Still Stink

I'm really glad Keith didn't offer me a baseball bet this offseason.  I thought about it a lot, and would have wisely said NO.  But then Keith would have called me all kinds of pussies and fags.  That would have sucked. 

We did some fishing off the pier this weekend.  Nothing fancy, just beavertail worms hanging under bobbers.  Caught around about a dozen, and it was fun enough. 

I was gonna put some pictures up for you retards that don't have facebook accounts, but fuck you guys.  I'm fucking tired.  Talk to youse at work.

Oh, hey, HEATLES!


Friday, June 15, 2012

Yo soy tu papa

Being a father is awesome.  When you let it all sink in, it's a pretty incredible feeling.  And there is so much more joy to come.  I think that's the saddest part about losing a parent.  In this case a father.  You sort of feel ripped off.  Like if my dad saw how well I was doing now or if he got a chance to hang with my kids it would make life so much more complete for me.  The hole never goes away.  Happy Father Day to all the LOV dads.  Much props. 

Some Dad stories.

My father knew he was going to die. So I sort of had an accelerated education on manhood from 12 years old on.  He taught me how to change a tire and how to change the oil in a buick one weekend.  When I was 12.  Some men still don't know how to do that.  Although why would you, everything is so modernized I don't change the oil on my leased cars.  What's funny about this, and I think it's in the LOV archives, 3 years ago on fathers day I caught a flat in NJ on the way home just outside the Goethals Bridge.  I had to change the tire.  And I did it.  In pretty good time too.  Using the crappy jack and X in the back trunk under the spare.  This guy at the gas station jokingly asked if I wanted a job there.  I replaced a radiator hose on my first car and thought I was so cool. 

Simple tasks but our generation sort of prevents us from still doing things like this. Now he knew how to rebuild an engine.  He roofed.  He painted.  He installed winders* and turlets*.  He even did side electricity work.  I so wish I could have learned all those trades.  I enjoy using my hands.  Handi-work.  I picture when I buy a house and fix it up that I won't hire anyone.  I'll do it myself.  It will make me feel closer to my father which sounds sort of weird I think.  But totally sensible.

He let me drive a Sanitation truck when I was 13.  He worked a few overnight shift at the garage in East New York and bought me along one time.  I always busted his balls to let me come on the job.  He'd always say no.  Too dangerous City wouldnt want to pay for a dead kid whose dad bought him to work after the kid accidentally crushed himself in the sanitation truck.  But the overnight you just sit in the garage, you are the security for the night along with the mechanic and the other watchman.  So he's like you want to do something cool.  I was like no doubt.  We fired up one of those beautifully white monster and I drove around the lot for an hour.  I thought I was so fucking cool.  Everytime I see a garbage truck in NYC I smile a bit.

Completely moving on because I don't want to feel like I'm on the therapy chair here, whenever I get inside an elevator I check to see if there is a girl I can fuck if we get stuck in the elevator for a long time.  I size up the girl then I size up the competition because it's a one sausage party.  Not sausage plus one.  I have to figure out if this girl(s) is/are doable or if they is just good for the head job.  I have to figure out if the guy that is also stuck or other guys are going to fight for some pussy or will they just look the other way.  It's an involved thought process.  I have every detailed covered.  Will I bang her standing up doggy or will i floor fuck her?  What method of punishment will I inflict on the guy if he tries getting in on this?  Kicks or punches?  Where will the babies go?  How long until I make my move?  2 hours?  3?  Do I use "could be last time alive" line?  All of this crosses my mind within seconds.  Then the doors close and the elevator makes it's way to the floor.  It's a futile exercise.

Yuengling.  Jack Daniels.  America.

Thursday, June 14, 2012

TPS sucks

I haven't been on LOV much...TPS has been killing me and it will be this way until about mid-August when we have a complaince inspection. I'll on on LOV more after that. Speaking of LOV, I'll need a spotty* start for the next two weeks. I nominate Beth...thanks Beth!! Tem sent a wedding gift on behalf of LOV...thanks tem!! It was hilarity...I was at work the other day and fmjug calls me about a "mystery gift" we got in the mail and she read the card that didn't make any sense to her. She did pronouce Mize's name right, something which I'm still not willing to do. I'll have to post what the card says tonight...thanks again tem! House stuff...we close on Tuesday, so its all done but the moving, which won't happen until after we get back from Hawaii. What sucks for fmjug is when we get back I'll be working almost everyday until Aug 17 to prepare for this inspection, so she will have to do a lot of the organizing once we move. Weekend plans...work. Tomorrow night I'm going out with my brother and some friends for sings and beer. Other than that I'll be working and packing for the wedding and honeymoon. Heading to Arkansas on Wednesday, coming back to Houston on Sunday night, then heading to Hawaii on Monday the 25th. Not much else to say, Go Thunder! I'll try and post some this weekend...GO!

Wednesday, June 13, 2012

I'll take Durant

He's the best player in the world. Here's the difference, when he shoots, you're surprised when he misses. When Lebron shoots, you're almost surprised if he makes it. Durant is so smooth. Trade Lebron for Durant and Miami wins by 25.

Oh Greg Oden...what could have been.

I sure hate Shane Battier...Miami dribbles out the clock down 11...hilarious.

Good Game, Good Effort...or something.

If Erin Andrews was going to have some work done, she'd get her nose fixed, not her breasts enlarged.

I think Durant hugged every black person in Oklahoma.

The rockies are awful...i mean historically bad pitching awful. When your team ERA is over 6, you know you're in trouble.

There are lots of fires here...none worse than the burning fire in beth's loins for me.

(she forgot her medication i guess)

I hiked to the top of a tall mountain on Saturday. It might seem lame, but it's a pretty cool accomplishment for a fatass like me. I know EP would have worked that mountain, but no fucking way he would have been able to breathe at 14k feet above sea level.

I think i'm going to take my department on a hike similar and have it be a "team building event" I'm an awesome boss.

I haven't downloaded the pictures yet or i'd post one or two from the top (next week).

That's it for this week. Durant = Good.

Tuesday, June 12, 2012

And the winner is.....

So who do we have? I have team Wade winning in 6. He is going to make people remember that he plays too and that he is pretty good. James Harden's beard will get some good press time too. Durant and Bron will do what they do, but it will come down to Wade showing people that Miami is his team.

I have the field for the US Open. Name any 4 players you want, I'll take the field. Tiger has a 45% chance of missing the cut. Phil's mitts have a chance to knock a ball in the hole. Woody will do well, is there a guy named Woody? James and Steve have good shots.

I suspect the Rich Franklin fight will end with Rich Franklin KOed. He is old. Sorry dude, don't read this and get mad, but you have lots of fights under your belt, but Anderson Silva done beat you into retirement a little faster than you wanted to go. He cracked that dome.

One of my least favorite days is when I wake up and see that damn tampon wrapper in the trash can. I forgot this was the week. I see that thing and now I know no action for like 5 days. My only hope is that we are a day into it and I didn't notice the wrapper yesterday.

By the by, got a piece of furniture delivered yesterday. My window was 12-4pm....they showed up at 6:30pm. I hate delivery companies.

I need to go to work.

Monday, June 11, 2012

The Lunatic Is In My Head

So, them Heats, hey?  I'm really glad they beat the Celtics in the conference finals, but you probably already knew that.  I like rooting for them.  I want to see the Heat run a real dynasty out there and do some absurd shit like winning 5 championships in a row.  I think that would be awesome.

The Pacquiao fight.  A lot of people say it was a joke and boxing is a joke because of the decision.  Me?  I just say the fight was rigged.  It happens.  Everybody knows Manny was in control of the fight and was beating the brakes off Tim Bradley.  The only round you could really give Bradley was MAYBE the 1st round because he was busier and Manny was sizing him up.  Manny should have knocked him the entire fuck out a few times.  Lesson learned.  Manny's gonna kill him in November.

Do any of you guys with the smartphones use Spotify?  I use it and I don't have one.  I think Spotify and Shazam would be the 2 most important apps for me to get if I had a smartphone.  I can take my iTunes on the road with me?  Sign me the fuck up.

I'm passively looking for a new record player.  There's too much good music media in this house that goes unused.  Plus, whenever I find myself wandering around and stumble into rummage sales, I always check to see if they have any wax.  I've found some incredible buys at rummages just digging through the crates of albums.  Shit, I got 2 copies of Thriller for 50 cents a piece back in high school off my shitty math teacher.  I'll still buy the occasional new album on vinyl if I think its worth it.  That being said, I need to find a cheapish copy of My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy with all the extras & shit.  Its a really dope package.

I spent like $200 on bullshit this weekend.  Shit that I'll have nothing to show for the money.  I hate that.

I'm listening to Dark Side Of The Moon right now.  You ever do the syncing up of Dark Side with The Wizard Of Oz?  It isn't great, but its a nice little escape/fantasy to try to believe.  Man, I fucking love this album.  Top 5 album of all time, and I won't even give anybody the dignity of a retort.  It's so fucking good.  I guess this is my top 5 albums in no particular order:

Dark Side Of The Moon
Abbey Road
Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club Band
Aquemini
My Beautiful Dark Twisted Fantasy

Dude.  My asshole of an old man has so much good music.  I don't know what the fuck happened to him.  I'm sure not having any friends has something to do with it, but why stop being into music?  There's so much good shit here, and it ends in the early to mid-80s.  I don't see myself ever getting caught in that trap where you just stop listening to new music.  LP's already there with his romanticism of the 90's.  I guarantee there's older shit out there you've never heard that you would love, EP.  Give it a shot some time.

This is fun.  Let's talk about some more shit.  I have the weirdest cramp in my left hand between my thumb & index finger.


Why do people have these expensive weddings all the time?  Why do all these people need to be there and why do you need to rent out churches and halls?  Its such a waste of money, IMO.  Don't you realize you don't really have all these friends?  I understand the whole having all the family there, that's fine.  But why are you really inviting all these people you don't give a fuck about or don't really give a fuck about you?  To squeeze gifts & money out of them?  Think about it.  Think about how many real, actual friends you have.  People that will ride or die for and with you.  I guarantee that number tops out at 4.  And if you say otherwise, you might want to think a little harder about it.  Me?  My number is zero.  I have zero real friends in this world.  I don't know a single person that would, no questions asked, come get me out of some incredibly hairy shit if I was in trouble.  Have I put people off in the past?  Absolutely.  That being said, I spent a shitload of my life up to some time in 2004 doing what I could to help and please other people.  At some point, I said fuck it.  There was no reward in being a caring or helpful person all the time.  That might help explain some of how I am.  I don't know, I'm just rambling and spitballing here.

I started casually looking at getting new wheels for the Aveo.  Not sure why, but hell, they're cheap.  I could totally rock These Joints on the heavy Chevy.  I like those the best out of the 14" selection.  I don't want to fuck with resizing and what not.

Welp, I hope you all made it to the end here.  I'm gonna keep looking through the old man's records and looking for a new record player.  Probz going up north next weekend, too.  Gotta find the old dude that fixes small engines so I can get the sis's  recoil reassembled.  Finally boat the new gas tank, too.  I hope it's complete.




Friday, June 08, 2012

List

First, a primer.  I won't be putting things on here that I haven't had the opportunity of trying.  Like I've never attempted to rebuild an engine or fly a plane.  My logic is quite simple.  If given the opportunity to attempt this activities at some point I will master it and be the best at doing that.  It's just how I'm put together.  How I'm wired.  I know that is off-putting.  I don't apologize.  So this list will be about things I've actually attempted to be the best at.

10 things I am not the best at :

1) I am not the best golfer.  I've tried golfing many times.  I am not the best.  I'm not even second best or third best.  I broke 100 once.  98.  I can drive the ball pretty well.  And most of the time it's straight but the in between game is rough.  When you add 2 strokes for putting you are talking, on average, 7 strokes a hole.  What ends up happening after like the 12th hole is I get disinterested/pissed and just drink the rest of the time moreso than through the first 12 holes.  Terrible game that golf.

2) I am not the best bowler.  When I was 12 I was in a bowling league.  One time I bowled a 254. In my adult age I'm in the 180's.  That isn't the best.  The best is like 280's.  No one averages a 300 right?  Anyway the best part about being in a bowling league was the free soda and chips.  That is why most bowling league members are fat.  Science.

3) I am not the best ping pong player.  By a mile.  I am a very good ping pong player then one day my cousin brings this dude over and he is Cuban.  Well apparentely Cubans can fucking play ping pong.  He straight whupped my ass.  I mean whupped.  Only beat him twice in about 89 tries.  Sick.

4) Obviously I am not the best typer.  There are people that can type 90 words per minute with no errors.  That shit cray.  I can type at a medium speed and there will be errors.  It's not the spelling.  It's not the grammar.  It's the typing.

5) I am not the best rice cooker.  For some reason my rice never comes out fluffy the way the pros get it.  My rice is not a sticky mess I'm no amateur but I'm not the best at it.  Plain and simple.

6) CMEP says I'm not the best listener.  Whatever the fuck that means.

7) Well here it goes.  I'm not the best lover maker.  Occasionally I'll have a tremendous performance.  A perfect game if you will.  Luckily I'm married and I don't have to have a great performance every time out.  It's all about busting a nut.  I'm gonna get mine so you better get yours.  Raw dog is rough.  Pussy is so good.  If I see a porno and the guy is pumping for 20 minutes and i mean hard pumpin, drugs or not I'm impressed.  I heard it's all mental but my mentality is I want to bust a god damn nut. 

8) I am not the best builder of Ikea furniture.  I always put too much muscle on something and crack it or shave a piece off from pure torque.  It's such crap.  Looks good finished.

9) I'm not the best swimmer.  I'm a fantastic swimmer but not the best.  CHSILEP had a boyfriend who swam competively on high school so I challenged him to a duel in Mexico to see how I stacked up and he smoked me.  By many lengths.

10) I am not the best at.........................................I think that's it. (admitting I'm not the best in something)







Thursday, June 07, 2012

Mr. Roper

Well, I'm officially a landlord now. "The Renters" moved in last Friday without an incident. I don't know landlord etiquette, so I just stayed out of there way. No news is good news. Looking to close on the other house next Tuesday. I'm in the middle of working 16 straight days, but just after that I'll go to Arkansas, and just after that Hawaii...suite! I've been completely out of touch with LOV over the last few days and didn't read anything yesterday. We are registered at Macy's and Bed, Beth*, and Beyond. For the record, I wasn't fan of the gift registering process. I'm also not a fan of your face. GO!

Wednesday, June 06, 2012

Anti Climaxic*

I say congrats to EP on the no-hitter. But...I think the mess were a better story when they hadn't had one. Kind of like how the Cubs are a better story because they haven't won the world series in over 100 years...When they win one it will be great, for like a month. The no-hitter was great for like a day.

Celtics have destroyed the heat each of the last 4 games...if the refs don't rob the celtics in game 2, this series is over. O:FL is stronger than O:FB.

My basketball team lost in the playoffs last night to a team that hadn't won a game. Douchebag dude on my team doesn't know how to play defense, and kept picking me when his guy set a pick, it was like a double screen. In the end we had a chance to put it in OT but other dude missed one of his 3 FTs. It was fun though once the Highschool kids quit playing on my team...i'm going to play summer league. Side note, i did not see Terrell Suggs there.

breakfast burritos were an awesome invention. Those crafty mexicans.

dog days of summer are about to start.

I actually watched some hockey on saturday...it's not a bad presentation, but the fact i'd rather watch Golf hurts it.

Speaking of golf, going out on the links with the new boss on Friday...we'll see how that goes. I'm thinking of getting rip roaring drunk.

Casey Martin qualified for the US Open, he'll be riding around in his cart. Take that Tony Romo.

Bought a new tree for the front yard of our house. Ridiculous how much trees cost. It's a sugar maple, and the guy tried to sell me on the fact i could make my own maple syrup. Yeah, ok dude.

Big summer of movies...what movie do you want to see the most...and why?


Tuesday, June 05, 2012

7 Months

I've been married now for 7 months. Time flies I guess. When is Jug's wedding? I couldn't find a registry for him, wtf? He must have registered at the Army Surplus store. Actually that would be awesome. Speaking of Army stuff, kind of, we need to paint our garage. I was thinking of just having a paint ball tournament in there. I think the garage might be too small for that though. It would work in TPs garage.

I was talking with a buddy on Sunday and I tolt* him the Spurs were out of gas. He said there was no way. I think I was right. Early celebration on my part, but I am claiming victory. I was correct, the Spurs are out of gas. And their 7-10 players are terrible. Or at least playing terrible. In other basketball news the Heat will crush the Celtics tonight and Snoop Dog will get all the credit because he is going to play.

Do birds eat peanuts?

Why is it so hard to get people to call me back when I want them to do work at the house? It is like pulling teeth to get people to come out here and do work. I'm paying them the amounts they are asking for, what the fuck? Sign #1 the economy is getting better, people don't do work when offered because they don't need the money that badly.

Is there a limit to the number of stamps you can put on a package? If the postage was $4.10 could I put 410 1 cent stamps on there?

I haven't played Call of Duty in awhile. My X Box isn't even set up. I play some Star Wars game on the computer now. It is alright. Costs money every month, I'm not sure I play enough to justify the expense.

If getting hit in the face with tits could knock you out then I would spend hours on U tube watching clips of people getting knocked unconscious by tig ole bitties. I'd want the color commentator from Dodgeball to do the color commenting too.

Is meiz in love with a Canadian chick rapper? In other meiz news I am excited that some chick wants him.

I say there is a 30% chance H fucks bmH one more time.

I had a dream that Rich Franklin got knocked the fuck out in his next fight. He was doing well then got caught with a spinning back fist. Then he got punched a lot. The chick ref was reffing and she tried to stop a punch to wave off the fight, but she got thrown across the octogon. Then Dana White said that's why chicks shouldn't ref. Then a hedgehog parachuted in and tossed some baseballs on everyone. He had like a thousand of them, I have no idea where he was storing them. Some sort of infinite sized pouch. Then the baseballs came to life and started going up chicks skirts. Then they exploded. Then Rick Franklin woke up and the baseballs attacked him. Then I woke up and took a piss. The end.




Monday, June 04, 2012

Don't Assume I'll Do You A Favor

That's why its called a favor.  I may or may not take on that task.  That really is a peeve of mine.  Don't ask me to do you a favor before you announce what the favor is.  "Can you do me a favor?"  Sure.  "I need a ride to the airport for a 5AM flight".  ::flap step::


This Canadian chick is my Twitter crush. I might could love this broad.

My friend Jackie insists on kissing me on the mouth when we say hi or goodbye.  I know my parents used to do that with their other friends back in the day, but I'm fairly certain that's the only married chick I know that kisses an old friend on the lips.  Its just a peck and all, and her husband is also one of my old friends I grew up with, but there's still that little bit of "Uh, I just kissed your wife on the mouth. We're still boys, right?" about it. Anybody else?  Just me?  Jug?  Tem?  LP?  Kod? Beth?  I'm looking at you guys, here.

I know I retweet DragonflyJonez way too much, but he tweets the kind of things I think.  And he tweets those things so goddamn hilariously.  One of my goals is to go to SXSW 2013, and hang out with DFJZ, NicholsAccomp, & IAMKRIS for a couple of days.  Those dudes have so much fucking fun in Austin in March, and I want to be part of it.  I envy them for that.

I wish I was better at First Person Shooter video games.  I stink at Call Of Duty and Battlefield.  I'm so bad at Call Of Duty, I can't even get past the 3rd level on the zombie game.  Help me, Obi-Tem.  You're my only hope.

I've recently accepted the fact that if I decide to be romantically involved with a woman at this point in my life, she's likely to either have already been married or have a kid.  No kids.  I can handle the previously married ones.  That being said...

For the first time in ages, a chick that I've expressed interest in has expressed interest in me without knowing I was interested.  Make sense?  Good.  According to the artist formerly known as Deluxe, last weekend, ol' girl was asking if I was going to bring the show 3 hours up north from here as late as Saturday afternoon.  There was no way that was happening, but hey, its nice to know you cross somebody's mind from time to time.  She's interviewing for a job down around the Pewaukee area sometime soon.  That could actually work out well.  Related to the previous paragraph: She's been married.  She married the first love of her life.  He turned out to be gay.  She did the rebound guy thing, and the independent thing, and now kinda seems to be loosened back up a bit.  I threw a nonchalant holler on the fb last week.  I'll probably holler for real, soon.

Seriously guys, follow @prodigalsam





YOUTUBE VIDEO OF THE WEEK
  FPS Russia Auto Glock17.  I want a ridiculous gun like this.



What do you guys watch on the YouTube machine?  Discuss.

Friday, June 01, 2012

50 years





LETS GO METS!

I think Gladiator is my favorite movie.  I want one of those chains with the spiked ball at the end.  Clean out a train real quick.

Beths been on twitter for at least two months.  Get with it people.

Tiago Splitter.  Sounds like a movie bad guy.

I think about the all the times when you screwed me over. - Kimbra

Unilever makes klondike bars and soap.  Good thing they use seperate plants.

Haven't really used the Kindle Fire yet.  Seems cool.

My kids drink mad milk yo.

Next week I will post all the ten things I am not the best at.  Don't want to do that today since I wont be around to argue the list.

Someone tolt me Lebron faded in crunchtime again the other night.  Cannot wait for the SPURS to smash them.  WORK.

WHAT IS WITH THE BRAVES ANS VISION PROBLEMS.

Piece. Weaksauce.



Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino