Friday, October 05, 2012

EL PADS WEEKLY PIQUES

32-28 Overall after a scorching hot week finishing 12-2.  Be jealous.  SKILLZ. 

WORK!

BENGALS -3.5 over Miami
Both teams have surprised me a bit.  Didn't expect the Bengals offense to be that quite explosive.  In 3 wins the Bengals hae scored 27, 38, 34 respectively.  That is towards the top 4 in the league in points thus far.  Miami has surprised me in how competitive they are.  They've shown the ability to keep games close enough to give themselves a chance to win.  Outside of the Houston blowout which is not even fair from a roster standpoint (i'm saying they were greatly overmatched) they've lost 2 games by a combined 6 points.  I lean Bengals here because #1 home, and #2 I don't Miami has enough to keep up with the Bengals if this turns into a shootout.  Which is probably going to happen (take the over).

INDY +7 over Green Bay
Since the loss to the Cheifs last season that snapped the Packers undefeated streak they have looked less and less dominant each time out.  I have no idea what that means because the team has still got all the pieces, are relatively healthy and Rodgers is still a beast.  All I know is they have been very underwhelming the past 8 games (dating back to the Cheif loss).  Now Indy, off a bye, has this emotion that will spill out onto the field and can sway this game a bit within the oil drum.  Rodgers may pull it out but I don't think it's a lock they'll pull it out by more than a touchdown and an extra point.

Ravens -6 over KC
Finally a normal Sunday game for the Ravens.  I don't think they even blink in this one.  They've gotten the rest, the work is done just go out and execute.

Browns +9 over GIANTS
Just a formality at this point.  I can't recall the last time the Giants covered a +7 spread at home.

STEELERS -3.5 over Eagles
Philly is some luck away from an 0-4. Truth.  AHIK.  Steelers off a bye got healthy and they are 9-3-1 ATS at home over the last 13 games. 

REDSKINS +3 over Falcons
5-0 Falcons?  Remember that year they went 13-3 and lost in the first round?  You know the Panthers lost that game last week.  Terrible coaching, terrible defense.  I think this will be one of RGIII's signature wins this year.  Pop champagne 72' fins.  Pop champagne OHHHHHHHHHHH.  One down, one to go.

CAROLINA +3 over Seattle
I'm doing the home/road thing with Seattle remember?  It's working so far.

Chicago -6 over JACKSONVILLE
Defense alone can win this game for DA BEARS.  Shit speacial teams can win this one for them.

Titans +5.5 over VIKINGS
For some reason I think Hasselback stabalizes this team a little bit.  Is Chris Johnson back?  Probably not but I think the passing game for the Titans will improve.  I think the veteran comes in, spreads the ball around and manages the game effectively enough to keep the Vikings offense and Adrian Peterson on the sideline.

NEW ENGLAND -6 over Broncos
Pats alway spank on Denver.  Peyton being there, at this point, doesn't mean much to me.  If this game happened in week 13 or so when Peyton is more advanced in his progression I'd give them a chance.  I don't think he's quite ready to carry an offense like he has in the past.  Got a feeling New England starts a vicious "fuck you" winning streak this week.

SAN FRAN -10 over Buffalo
Western New York to Northern California is a long fucking way.  San Fran tuned up on the Jets, Fitzpatrick is good for three picks this week.  Chan Gailey is a bumbling fool.

SAINTS -3.5 over Chargers
Lock.  Write it down in sharpie.  Saints caputre first win of the seaosn in front of the blackballed GM/coaches and the frenzied Mercedes-Benz Superdome crowd.

JETS +8 over Texans
Houston has beaten nobody yet.  Nobody.  I think the Jets answer a rallying cry from Rex Ryan and keep this a game.

227 comments:

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Mize said...

I hope the El Padinsky is right about the GB/Indy game because I gotta trot Donald Brown out there this week. I'm only looking for like 9 points out of him.

blue said...

"Pats alway spank on Denver"

eteo

blue said...

over the last 10 meetings, broncos are 6-4.

since 1980, broncos are 14-5 against the patriots.

last year was the first time patriots had beaten the broncos twice in a row since 99/00

broncos always seem to play the pats tough

blue said...

just a few of the "facts"

blue said...

broncos also were the first team to beat Brady in the playoffs. Since that beatdown, Brady has yet to win a superbowl

blue said...

EP is worst than Skip Bayless, just makes shit up

blue said...

snowed here last night.

fall is officially here

Aitch said...

"Got a feeling New England starts a vicious "fuck you" winning streak this week."

Um... since they won last week... even if you're right about them beating Denver and going on a streak, wouldn't last week have been the start?

tem said...

"EP is worst than Skip Bayless"

nobody is worst than Skip. nobody.

Aitch said...

Blue, facts have no place here.

tem said...

last weeks win was just prepreparedness for the start of the streak.

Aitch said...

Thanks for answering my text message, Tem.

blue said...

i still think the Pats win this week.

McDaniels has too much of the F-U factor in him this week not to think they'll be throwing out all the bag o tricks.

tem said...

"Thanks for answering my text message, Tem."

i have to do math 1st.

tem said...

plus the answer is long winded. i'll facebook email you.

Aitch said...

"i still think the Pats win this week"

Xnij

blue said...

why can't you just answer here

tem said...

because you touch yourself at night.

blue said...

i'm not znij the broncos.

i really do think they aren't quite ready for Prime Time.

too many factors in this game that go against them

Aitch said...

"i'm not znij the broncos."

So it's a xnij. Got it.

Aitch said...

"too many factors in this game that go against them"

Such as? Give us some in depth Bluenalysis

Mize said...

El Padrino and Aitch

Bidding now officially begins for a video recorded kicking in the nuts of Keith in Vegas in the honor of the winning bidder's name, to be posted on YouTube. Bidding will open at $20. Do I hear $20?

Keef said...

Facebook engineers first wanted to call the "Like" button the “Awesome” button.

Keef said...

i have to do math 1st.



You do the math, I'll do the alfredo

Keef said...

Bidding now officially begins for a video recorded kicking in the nuts of Keith in Vegas in the honor of the winning bidder's name, to be posted on YouTube.


Good luck getting money from either of those 2

Mize said...

zing

Keef said...

Give us some in depth Bluenalysis. But first, go read my blog


*fized

tem said...

"Priority Chevrolet Dealership in Chesapeake, Virginia made a mistake when they sold Danny Sawyer a new Chevrolet Traverse for $5,600 less than the asking price. So what did they do when they realized this mistake? They had Mr. Sawyer arrested for theft. After spending 4 hours in lockup and getting released on bond, Sawyer did the next logical thing: he sued the dealership for 2.2 million dollars."


haha

blue said...

i'd have sued them for more than that

Keef said...

$2.2 million is chump change for blue

blue said...

"The jobless rate unexpectedly fell to 7.8% in September, from 8.1% the prior month. Employers added 114,000 jobs"

thanks Obama

Keef said...

Employers added 114,000 jobs



Stings

/LP's old bossman

blue said...

what is kelly kapowski doing these days

gets good at the 1min mark

blue said...

i would still bone the shit out of her

Keef said...

no

/cmblue

Mize said...

no brainer
/cmblue

tem said...

I walked 2 miles at lunch because I was bored.

Keef said...

I got some good practice in last night, preparing for the smurf turf

blue said...

i've been scouting tOSU

blue said...

watching lots of film

Keef said...

Better be able to stop the run

blue said...

i can't

tem said...

Load up the box.

blue said...

i have speed everywhere, so the big hosses just push me around.

then i miss a tackle and the RB goes for lik 80 yards

blue said...

"Load up the box."

twss

tem said...

set your thing to sure tackle.

tem said...

if you have speed set it to sure tackle and go for the interception.

tem said...

if you don't have speed keep it all normal.

don't set it to strip ball, that never works.

and don't set it to be passive on passes, they'll just complete everything and you won't get a stop. it'll be 10 yard plays all the way down for a TD.

Mize said...

"set your thing to sure tackle."


What is this wizardry?

blue said...

the hell is he talking about?

blue said...

tem knows strategery

blue said...

i tried to set that strategy stuff once and it sucked me

blue said...

like the cpu told me
"if you're struggling stopping a running QB, set your strategy to something"

that shit didn't work, and I couldn't adjust it in game.

blue said...

like i wanted to make halftime adjustments, you know

tem said...

the left bumper button at the play call. setting things to aggressive, balanced or conservative.

blue said...

tem knows a lot

blue said...

no wonder he is champion

Keef said...

wizardry > than resetting

Mize said...

I dropped a McKayla Is Unimpressed image on one of our buyers in an email today. Apparently it is the hit of the day.

Keef said...

::flank steak::

tem said...

from the olympics. the gymnast chick.

blue said...

her smirk

Keef said...

OIC

blue said...

Kod

blue said...

EP is busy spanking it to the new adele song

Keef said...

so gross

blue said...

bluenalysis of the pats/broncos matchup.

it all comes down to broncos pass rush with 4 guys against the pats offense.

the teams that are succesful against brady don't have to bring more than 4 guys, and they get pressure from the middle of the line. He gets skittish with pressure in his face (like most QBs). The broncos 2 best passrushers are edge/speed guys. Brady gets rid of the ball too quick for them to get there.

broncos don't have anyone who can cover Gronk, and welker plays inside in the slot most the time, neutralizing the champ advantage.

Offense of pats will be unstoppable because the broncos never force turnovers.


on the other side, i think the broncos will move the ball and score points too. pats defense is not very good, but they tend to come up with key plays in big moments (interceptions/sacks)

broncos should be able to keep pace scoring wise, but a couple of turnovers will be the difference, and the pats win 42-28

blue said...

also, you can never underestimate hoodie McD, and Brandon Lloyd's hatred for the broncos

blue said...

"The Cleveland Plain-Dealer reported Richardson was absent because his girlfriend is having a baby. It's Richardson's third child."

birth control dude

blue said...

maybe EP is off today because he's covering the baseball playoffs for the stache

tem said...

EP's big boss is probably abusing him.

Keef said...

birth control dude


you should never let birth control stop you from pro-creating anyway

kod said...

"Kod"



wohooo wohooo it's back


now, I just hope it doesn't suck

kod said...

"snowed here last night."


here too, but we got lucky. Stayed just warm enough so we only got a couple of inches.

A bit NW of us, 6-10 inches yesterday

that would suck in early Oct

blue said...

yeah, it didn't stick to the road

Keef said...

snowed here last night.


It was 96 here yesterday

Keef said...

I told cmk that I need an hour tomorrow afternoon to play footyball. She said I'm a nerd.

tem said...

you need more than an hour. you need to get preparedness and scout and practice.

Keef said...

I got preparedness last night

blue said...

i tolt cmblue that it's for money

blue said...

when we finish our basement this spring, i'll be able to hide down there and play whenever I want

blue said...

actually cmblue thought it was stupid that I was playing a league with a bunch of guys and that we never played each other

Keef said...

cmblue knows

Keef said...

The winner of our game will play against tem

tem said...

no

blue said...

yep, in the champyunship

blue said...

tem is very anti playing against LoV

Keef said...

Hopefully blue isn't distracted by his dad walking around him in the basement during the game.

Keef said...

tem is very anti playing against LoV



He's pretty temid

tem said...

"Ohio State third-string quarterback Cardale Jones made his feelings about attending classes clear Friday on Twitter.

"Why should we have to go to class if we came here to play FOOTBALL, we ain't come to play SCHOOL classes are POINTLESS," he wrote."

haha....tOSU is grate*

tem said...

we ain't come to play SCHOOL

tem said...

tem doesn't think he will get to the championship this season.

tem said...

i also am not good against humans. computer is much easier.

blue said...

well considering we are not good against the computer...

blue said...

keith won the first LoV bowl

tem said...

it is a double negative you will win

Keef said...

haha....tOSU is grate*



I have mixed feelings about Urb. He can win games. But he recruits a lot of shady folk

tem said...

tOSU has always recruited shady folk.

see - Pryor Terrell, Clarett Maurice, Herbstreit Kirk, Katzenmoyer Andy, Holmes Sanantoio*

tem said...

schlitcher art

Keef said...

Katzenmoyer wasn't shady. He was just a fucking idiot

Keef said...

Not idiot like doing stupid stuff. Idiot like his IQ was under 50

tem said...

can't it be both?

blue said...

I nerve liked tOSU

NS

Keef said...

they probably don't like you either

Keef said...

blue is creating bulletin board material now

Keef said...

I have a great respect for Boise State's football program

tem said...

yeah, you like the sisters of the poor kind of schools.

tem said...

TCU gets to whip tOSU in a few years.

Keef said...

temfast

blue said...

nah

urb will recruit the next tebow

tem said...

its not news. it is a continuation of the sisters of the poor talk.

tem said...

"urb will recruit the next tebow"

tebow would fail at tOSU. he'd get corrupted.

Keef said...

If he's not getting corrupted in NY, he'd be ok at tosu

tem said...

4 years at tOSU, he's only been in NY for <1. wait 3 years and see if NY corrupted him.

tem said...

plus he is older now, less easily corrupted.

tem said...

peas

Keef said...

Tyler is going to LV

ns

Tyler said...

I am in.

Tyler said...

I will probably leave at like two or three. Takes about 3-4 hours.

Where are we staying?

Keef said...

Motherfucking Bill Gamblin' Hall & Saloon

Keef said...

Bill's*

Keef said...

center of the strip, across the street from Caesar's

Mize said...

"I am in."

WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!

Mize said...

I'm pretty bummed that my ballsack kicking auction is a dud.

Keef said...

I don't want to get into a fight in LV

Mize said...

Who said anything about a fight? I'm pretty sneaky for a tub.

Tyler said...

"I don't want to get into a fight in LV"


NO ONE orders Jager and we don't have a problem.

Keef said...

That would lead to a fight

Tyler said...

So is it just the four of us?

Keef said...

the ball kicking would lead to a fight

Keef said...

NO ONE orders Jager


stop it

Mize said...

"NO ONE orders Jager and we don't have a problem."


Jesus.

Tyler said...

So we put an offer on a house and I thought we had it in the bag. $25k over asking and the listing agent told my realtor that it was between us and a cash offer at the asking price. She said they'd decide on Monday and she'd call at 1pm.

4pm rolls around and my realtor calls her and she said they were just about to go with us but then a cash offer that was $5k below us came in right as they had made the decision.

So that's how the house hunt has been going; no houses and getting outbid by cash offers. Good times.

Tyler said...

"Jesus."

Ok, I guess I'm puking in the bathroom again. I don't mind, I'll take one for the team.

Keef said...

awesome

Keef said...

At least tem said I was rooming with him

Tyler said...

I thought Mize and Tem were rooming together.

Keef said...

They are.

Tyler said...

So it's you and me?

Keef said...

saddle up, partner

Keef said...

If you temsnore, I'll kick you in the ballsack

Tyler said...

"If you temsnore, I'll kick you in the ballsack"

I barely snored before I got the sinus surgery, so now it's smooth sailing.

Tyler said...

Are you flying or driving?

Keef said...

I'm flying. It takes 10 minutes

Tyler said...

Ok. Where are we staying?

Tyler said...

Bills?

Keef said...

yes

Keef said...

They have beer pong. Can you do that or will that cause problems?

Tyler said...

Beer I can drink all day and night. Liquor seems to be a problem. And liquor and beer together is a bad scene.

Tyler said...

Full disclosure: I have never played beer pong.

Tyler said...

I have seen it being played, but I have never played.

Keef said...

Losing is really winning

blue said...

i don't think i've played official beer pong

beer pong came along right after my gggggeneration left the college beer pong world.

Mize said...

I do not like playing beirut.

NS

Keef said...

are you cool because you call it beirut?

Keef said...

aja, I've nerve* heard it called that

Tyler said...

The origin of the name "Beirut" is disputed. A 2004 op-ed article in the Daily Princetonian, the student newspaper at Princeton University, suggested that the name was possibly coined at Bucknell or Lehigh University around the time of the Lebanese Civil War, Beirut being the capital of Lebanon and scene of much fighting. Some students at Lafayette College, rivals of Lehigh, insist modern, paddle-less beer pong was invented at their school, but The Lafayette, the college's student newspaper, says there is no proof to back up the assertion.

Tyler said...

Bud pong was the branded version of beer pong that brewer Anheuser-Busch said involved the drinking of water, not Budweiser or any other beer. In the summer of 2005, the company began marketing "bud pong" kits to its distributors. Francine I. Katz, vice president for communications and consumer affairs, was reported in The New York Times as saying that bud pong was not intended for underage drinkers because promotions were held in bars, not on campuses. And it did not promote binge drinking, she said, because official rules call for water to be used, not beer.

Spaceman Spiff said...

braves had the least errors in the NL

jeebus

Spaceman Spiff said...

braves fans pissed at horrible call

throw cups on field

Mize said...

"aja, I've nerve* heard it called that"


Beer pong has paddles, and an actual game of ping pong.

Aitch said...

So I got my check today and I had almost 1100 just in tips...


GUESS WHO'S COMING TO VEGAS!!!!!

Mize said...

BULLSHIT

Aitch said...

Which part?

Mize said...

The coming to Vegas part

Keef said...

Just the tips?

Aitch said...

So does that meam when I show up in Vegas I can punch you in the face for doubting me?

Mize said...

"So does that meam when I show up in Vegas I can punch you in the face for doubting me?"


Don't come to Vegas if you're going to be angry.

Mize said...

Thank jesus I booked my flight when I did. Cheapest flight now, is ~$70 more.

Mize said...

I should quick jump on monoprice for an iPod charger and new headphones for this here trip.

ToddPacker said...

"So I got my check today and I had almost 1100 just in tips..."

nice

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Cardinals break out with an "Infield Fly" chant during postgame celebration. "

hilarity

Mize said...

JESUS FUCKING CHRIST


THC traded Rashard Mendenhall, Pit to WAHL
THC traded Nate Washington, Ten to WAHL
WAHL traded Andre Brown, NYG to THC
WAHL traded Dez Bryant, Dal to THC

Keef said...

Awful

Mize said...

I'm getting sick and fucking tired of these morons trading him their good players for fucking TRASH

Mize said...

To make it worse, WAHL offered that trade to THC.

I wanna fucking slap him across his fucking soup coolers.

Keef said...

This new divisional round in MLB is awful. Having the first 2 games at the home of the lower seed is absolutely retarded

Mize said...

Yeah, I hope this play in game shit goes away

Keef said...

Re: that infield fly call. People are flipping out because they called it because the SS was in the OF. I'm fairly certain that it doesn't matter where the IF is. He could be at the wall and if he's camped under it, it's an infield fly. Now, you could argue that on this play he wasnt in a good enough fielding position where the ump should call the infield fly

Keef said...

Yeah, I hope this play in game shit goes away



I'm not even talking about that, but that's stupid too. But Cincy is the higher seed tha SF, and they have to play the first 2 @ SF

Keef said...

than

Mize said...

Right, but Infield Fly should absolutely not have been called there.

Spaceman Spiff said...

suite, fuk the rangers

Aitch said...

" This new divisional round in MLB is awful. Having the first 2 games at the home of the lower seed is absolutely retarded"

This year only. Schedule was done before they approved the extra wildcard. This format was set to accomodate a play in game if there was a tie for the final WC spot. Because the dates for playoff series were set, they had to do it this way to minimize travel days. Next year will revert to the 2-2-1 format after the WC play in game.

Keef said...

KIK

Keef said...

H, so was LV NS?

Keef said...

Smat* people commenting on H's status

Jugdish said...

Smat* people commenting on H's status


dude...

tem said...

H is in. I'll call Bills and see what kind of thing we can do for 5 peeps. We have 2 rooms booked, might get another room, might get a cot or whatever they are called. Maybe bills has a villa Hangover style. I'll give them a holler on Monday.

Aitch said...

" H, so was LV NS?"

It was completely NS. I just have to wait to to hear from my boss on Monday about the days off. That shouldn't be a problem though, just don't wanna book the flight until he says yes.

Aitch said...

I'll sleep on the cot since I'm last man in.

Aitch said...

"Smat* people commenting on H's status"

Are you referring to the mom joke?

Keef said...

Yeah. That was fucked up. I know it was a joke, but fucking know your audience

Aitch said...

" Yeah. That was fucked up. I know it was a joke, but fucking know your audience"

I don't think she knew. I have a lot of friends on Facebook cuz of the bands. They don't all know every details of my life.

Mize said...

VEGAAAAAAAASSSSSSSS!!

Keef said...

H is Alan right?



S

Keef said...

Blue, say when

Mize said...

I wish I could tune in to watch the game

blue said...

Give me ten minutes

blue said...

Ok I'm in

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"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





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"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino