Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Back from Europe

I'm back from Europe. Whip de do.


Things on my mind

Why in the world is Aaron Rodger's man cave outfitted with a 37 inch (at best) TV that they put on the coffee table? Who the fuck is in charge of commercials? This isn't even close to real. Nobody does that. Was El Pad in charge? They are sitting 1 foot away from the screen. And why is everything red? It looks retarded. I know Pizza Hut's logo is red, but come on man. And that couch looks shitty. This commercial is horrendous.

I was told in Britain that the British laid every major rail line in the world. Sorry chaps, but I am pretty sure chinese and black people laid ours.

That bit of knowledge was passed down by the old tour guide who was as annoying as fuck. He would ask people where they are from and then proceed to tell them why London was better. One guy was from NYC. It was funny to see NYC get taken down by the british bastard. He said London had more park space and older buildings. Well no shit on the older buildings, but I am not sure about the park space. Apparently NYC only has Central Park and not a single other park. Also the guy liked to talk to every lady and stare at her knockers. British people really are perverts.

Westminster Abbey was cool. Tower of London was cool. Eifel Tower was cool. Louvre was kind of cool. That's what you need to know. Oh and they are tearing down the Olympic village and you can't tour it, so don't take the 20 minute Metro ride out there and find out. Oh and there is an old mall and a new mall out there. Don't accidentally go into the old mall thinking it is the new mall. You will be disappointed. Then feel dumb when you see the new mall.

Delta flight back had no TVs in the seats. I had to watch what everyone else watched. That sucked. I watched What to Expect When you Are Expecting, some Zac Effron movie about a military guy who got back from Iraq and the latest Sherlock Holmes. Oh and the guy behind me was old and constantly grabbed my seat and shook it whenever he needed to move. He didn't have the muscles to stand up or move without shaking my seat first.

On the flight over there we sat next to a lady with an ~18 month old kid. She stuffed him under the seat in front of her and he went to sleep. No lie. She just stowed the fucker under the seat in front of her and he slept. He was far better than the lady in front of us on the way back that kept shitting her pants. Yeah lady we know it was you. It would smell like nasty fart then you'd get up and go to the bathroom.

I played week 5. I accidentally used Air Forces' play book. I didn't like it. I don't know why it didn't auto choose my playbook.

European toilets are wider and deeper than ours. When you poop in them they splash a lot. The wider part seemed smart, it spread your buttcheeks out I think. I should ask cmtem's opinion on them.

When we got to Paris the taxi driver guy told cmtem a whole bunch of things she shouldn't do. One of them was not to go to a peepshow. He told her this a few times. I don't know if it is code for something or what.

WVU football fans say

Ready for basketball season. GO HUGGY BEAR.

OSU football fans say

T. Pryor and his tatoos are costing us our chance at the National Title. Undefeated is in the books. Unless Braxton gets hurt. Guyton got lucky.

Work

I bet it will be a shitstorm today. I missed a lot of time. I have decided again that I need to win the lottery and be a stay at home person. I guess if there is a kid involved I'll be a stay at home dad. But really I just want to stay at home do about 3 hours of housework and then watch TV or play video games the rest of the time. I did laundry and mowed the grass yesterday and some dishes. That all took about 2 hours. I could add another on there. The rest of the day was video games. It was nice. I might even watch more movies if I stayed home. I gotta get a lottery ticket.



OK speaking of work I should drive there. It rained so the drive will suck. Blah.



128 comments:

Aitch said...

Welcome back

Aitch said...

17 days

Mize said...

I'm getting shitty nerves about making my flight to Vegas. Idiots are stressing me out.

Mize said...

Unrelated, country music is much easier to listen to if you just don't take it seriously.

Mize said...

I still don't like the preachy songs one bit though

El Padrino said...

yeah we just have central park

except not

El Padrino said...

wider and deeper toilets

sounds like the they are fatter than us

cant be

WE ARE THE FATTEST!

Jugdish said...

wider and deeper toilets



was it like the tosh high toilet?

El Padrino said...

HOW WAS THE FOOD?!!!

Mize said...

I like a nice big Ferguson style toilet.

BA-WOOSH!

Mize said...

"HOW WAS THE FOOD?!!!"


More importantly, how was BEAST?

Mize said...

Did I ever tell you guys I used to work with a woman we called The Beast? Good golly, what a tragic human.

Keef said...

Westminster Abbey was cool



Hands down the best Abbey

Keef said...

LP, congrats on our WS picks. We are awesome

BLUE said...

lOv's credibility rating as a sports blog increased on google because of your correct predictions

El Padrino said...

"LP, congrats on our WS picks. We are awesome"

indeed

El Padrino said...

did you guys see they jailed some italian scientists for not predicting that earthquake a few years ago?

seems harsh

El Padrino said...

also some maniac is murdering pregnant woman here and the last one he left a note that one pregnant woman would be murdered once a month until the DC sniper is released

El Padrino said...

remember the DC sniper?

that shit was cray

Mize said...

"remember the DC sniper?"


John somethingorother. Huge victory for white people. There was no way he was black and them BOOM. Chocolate face.

Mize said...

*then

tem said...

french food is gross

Mize said...

I want a custard filled chocolate long john.

Mize said...

Or a buttercream long john

El Padrino said...

french food is gross

confusing

Mize said...

There's no way the hot chick in Revenge Of The Nerds didn't know she wasn't getting the dick from Al Bundy's neighbor. Chicks gotta know their dude's dong feel, right? There's no way she didn't know.

Keef said...

John somethingorother. Huge victory for white people. There was no way he was black and them BOOM. Chocolate face.


That guy was kilt already. This person is talking about the kid that was with him

El Padrino said...

right

lee boyd malvo the kid

they executed the muhammed guy

El Padrino said...

cant believe that was 10 years ago

Jugdish said...

Huge victory for white people.



i remember how pumped up i was


s

El Padrino said...

ac this sunday

det

El Padrino said...

whats with this homeland?

good or no

El Padrino said...

crazy bears dominated the Lions last night but didnt cover

just nuts

El Padrino said...

louis ck hosting SNL nov 3rd

giddy up

Jugdish said...

crazy bears dominated the Lions last night but didnt cover



stupid garbage td at the end. Lions D played fairly well. Bears played a lot more conservstive after Cutler bruised is ribs

Keef said...

You produce two to three ounces of tears a day.

Keef said...

crazy bears dominated the Lions last night but didnt cover



LIONS had 2 turnovers in the red zone, one of them was 6" from the goalline

Jugdish said...

You produce two to three ounces of tears a day.



wussbag

Jugdish said...

LIONS had 2 turnovers in the red zone, one of them was 6" from the goalline




told you!

/mize

El Padrino said...

"LIONS had 2 turnovers in the red zone, one of them was 6" from the goalline"

think it was the 4 inch line

Jugdish said...

think it was the 4 inch line



it was, believe me, I know 4 inches

/cmlp

Keef said...

think it was the 4 inch line




Is that what cmlp told you?

Mize said...

"You produce just an ounce of tears a day."


/LP

Keef said...

DOUBLE DRAGON with jug

Jugdish said...

DOUBLE DRAGON with jug




and cmlp

tem said...

"There's no way the hot chick in Revenge Of The Nerds didn't know she wasn't getting the dick from Al Bundy's neighbor. Chicks gotta know their dude's dong feel, right? There's no way she didn't know."

jug will have to log in as beth and answer this.

BLUE said...

beth never had sex with the revenge of the nerds guy

tem said...

says you

tem said...

what if i told you that he is a lawyer now? then you might think she did.

BLUE said...

that raises the odds for sure

Keef said...

he's probably an accountant now

BLUE said...

i think he died of pancreatic cancer last fall

El Padrino said...

The iPad Mini, plus a new line of "Mac Mini" units with quad-core processors and up to two terabytes of disk storage. A 13-inch MacBook Pro laptop with the Retina display from the latest iPhone.

El Padrino said...

today's apple unveiling

Keef said...

wall

tem said...

"i think he died of pancreatic cancer last fall"

that cancer apparently sux

Jugdish said...

boob cancer gets all the attention

El Padrino said...

high mortality

El Padrino said...

taco time

BLUE said...

boob cancer has a low mortality rate

Jugdish said...

i don't think I'm registered to vote in the county i moved to...oops

Jugdish said...

wall

tem said...

I am in a free yahoo! league with some people from college and their wives and what nots.

anyway.....we only have 3 bench players. it makes bye weeks a bitch. and apparently the can not drop list is pretty much everyone. i wanted to drop Andre Johnson, but he is on the list.

of my 9 postion players 6 were on the do not drop list. brian hartline isn't but i didn't want to drop him.

Jugdish said...

I am in a free yahoo! league with some people from college and their wives and what nots.



i assume the wives are in the league to make the guys sandwiches and stuff like that

/Lp

Jugdish said...

is temhio a swing state?

tem said...

yes. temhio is a huge swing state

tem said...

90% of the ads are politcal ads

10% are for local car dealers

El Padrino said...

YA-HUGE swing state

El Padrino said...

tem i know you hate politics, does this mean you dont vote?

El Padrino said...

meiz

rza

El Padrino said...

and wu-tang was on Fallon last night

El Padrino said...

ghostface with an amazing 80 bars there

Mize said...

Work really took a turn for my bunghole since 12:30. Goddamn.

El Padrino said...

CAPPADONNA

been a long time young man nice to hear you

El Padrino said...

im juiced now

Spaceman Spiff said...

"whats with this homeland?

good or no"

HDH

Spaceman Spiff said...

didnt have one good meal in Paris either, my theory is that you have to go to the high end places

also italy BEAST was better than france BEAST

El Padrino said...

the mc ginny wins

El Padrino said...

"whats with this homeland?

good or no"

HDH"

claire danes face bothers me

El Padrino said...

finally an ode to Red Zone

Spaceman Spiff said...

"claire danes face bothers me"

me too, think she needs some fat back on her face

but the show is awesome

El Padrino said...

man if the knicks lose to the nets forget it

wont stop hearin it from these "net" fans

El Padrino said...

vegas got no love for the dirty birds

Keef said...

i assume the wives are in the league to make the guys sandwiches and stuff like that

/Lp




exactly

Keef said...

Ozzie Guillen fired

Keef said...

I hate Oklahoma, but man I hope they WORK Notre Dame

El Padrino said...

guillen fired

El Padrino said...

shit

Jugdish said...

i enjoyed OK WORKING UT.

El Padrino said...

why hate oklahoma

El Padrino said...

JJ Watt to Ray Rice

I eat burritos bigger than you.


funny

El Padrino said...

best raviolis

i frequent this wonderland often

Mize said...

I hurt myself stretching. Goddamn I'm fat.

tem said...

"does this mean you dont vote?"

i vote

tem said...

i still hate politics though.

Keef said...

I mailed in my vote

tem said...

"didnt have one good meal in Paris either, my theory is that you have to go to the high end places"

could be.

the nicest place we went to was Le Coq. El Pad would have loved it.

tem said...

i had a steak from "Argentina"

i did not ask why Argentina was in quotes.

tem said...

peas

El Padrino said...

suite coq au vin?

El Padrino said...

"i vote"


swing that state then

El Padrino said...

i assume argentina steak just meant steak with chimichurri sauce

El Padrino said...

WHICH IS DELICIOUS

El Padrino said...

piece

Keef said...

How about just eating a steak for the steak? Bottles my mind.

BLUE said...

who still has to play for week 5 to be done?

Keef said...

I already lost in week 5. Thanks for re-opening that wound.

BLUE said...

i had a bye, so i've been waiting.

looks like tem played already

so i guess just meiz.

Keef said...

of course

Keef said...

the guy with the least amount of things going on

Keef said...

freak thinks mize is a lazy commish

BLUE said...

haha

freak

Mize said...

"i frequent this wonderland often"

Department of redundancy department

Keef said...

wall

Mize said...

Lost again. I think I threw 5 or 6 picks .

Mize said...

A few were for tds

tem said...

The steak was just steak, no sauce.

tem said...

Barry Zito vs Justin verlander? What's the max I can bet on the Tigers?

Keef said...

I'll bet you a 3 day name/pic

tem said...

Ok. I win if it is a tie too.

Keef said...

No

tem said...

Well then, we are at an impasse.

Jugdish said...

funny

Jugdish said...

wall

Mize said...

Jesus. Broad on the radio just reference the Packers as "America's Team", which prompts me to reiterate that Packers fans are the worst in the NFL.

Jugdish said...

"America's Team"


Dallas fans are worst*...they've been singing that song for years and still are.

Jugdish said...

however when i went to the Bears Cowboys game a couple of years ago, they weren't as bad as i thought. that was probably aided by the the bears whooping the cowboys. that and bears fans tend to fill that stadium pretty well.

BLUE said...

new stuff

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino