Wednesday, October 31, 2012

Happy Halloween

I was going to write an NBA preview...then I didn't. 

Heat will win the East.
Lakers will win the West

Heat repeat as champions and Lebron needs a 3rd headband.

This hurricane sandy thing is a big deal, i guess.  I haven't really noticed.  Somebody said they estimate the damages at $20B.  I've heard estimates of roughly $40B.  That's all fine.  remember, this is NYC, so 20B there is like $1B elsewhere.

New Jersey Governor Chris Christie's interview with Fox news was awesome.  Basically came out and said that Obamer has bent over backwards to help, and he didn't give a shit if Romney wanted to come make a political game out of this.

I have to fire someone today.  That should not be too great.  I think she has fake tits, so i'll just keep looking at those when I do it.

I was going to have to fire another chick in my department once we found a replacement.  But then she up and quit...hooray.

At what point will the SD chargers put in their request to relocate to LA to the new stadium?  Probably after they fire Norv and AJ.

Broncos/Bengals this week.  I leave you with the immortal Gus Johnson

Tuesday, October 30, 2012

Nobody Will Like This (maybe Jug will)

Local OSU fans say

We are not the worst undefeated team....We are not the worst undefeated team....We are not the worst undefeated team....We are not the worst undefeated team....We are not the worst undefeated team....We are not the worst undefeated team....We are not the worst undefeated team....We are not the worst undefeated team....We are not the worst undefeated team....We are not the worst undefeated team....

WVU fans say

Maybe the bye week will help us turn it around...Maybe the bye week will help us turn it around...Maybe the bye week will help us turn it around...Maybe the bye week will help us turn it around...Maybe the bye week will help us turn it around...Maybe the bye week will help us turn it around...Maybe the bye week will help us turn it around...Maybe the bye week will help us turn it around...Maybe the bye week will help us turn it around...


Entertainer of the Year
Jason Aldean
Kenny Chesney
Brad Paisley
Blake Shelton
Taylor Swift

Who will win: Aldean, unless it is fan voted. If it is fan voted then Swift wins.

Who should win: Aldean, even though last year was a better year for him these awards shows seem to be a year behind on these things. He just sold out Fenway park in 7 minutes.

Female Vocalist of the Year
Kelly Clarkson
Miranda Lambert
Martina McBride
Taylor Swift
Carrie Underwood

Who will win: Lambert. Until the CMA folk lose their Lambert crush she will win every award she is nominated for. This is basically a 3 horse race, there is 0 chance Clarkson or McBride win. Plus assuming the main award is voting based the CMA folk know Swift will win that so they don't need to give this one to her.

Who should win: Lambert. Carrie was kind of inbetween albums this year and so was Swift. Lambert did some stuff this year. Honestly it was a down year for country women. The men did lots better this year.

Male Vocalist of the Year
Jason Aldean
Luke Bryan
Eric Church
Blake Shelton
Keith Urban

Who will win: I have to say Shelton just because he seems to always win even when he doesn't deserve it. He has had a down year for his standards. Both Aldean and Church have had better years.

Who should win: Either Aldean or Church. I am biased and say Church, but Aldean has had more commercial success and I think the CMA folk dislike Church. He is the next Toby Keith....a superstar who doesn't win awards because the CMA folk hate him.

Vocal Group of the Year
The Band Perry
Eli Young Band
Lady Antebellum
Little Big Town
Zac Brown Band

Who will win: Little Big Town. Just a hunch. They have lots of buzz about their upcoming CD and for whatever reason I think they take it based on something that hasn't even happened yet. Lady A usually dominates here, but they had a quiet year.

Who should win: Band Perry. Even though it looks like 2 girls and a guy (it is 2 guys and their sister) I think they've had the best songs of the bunch over the year. They might pull it off, the CMA folk seem to love the lead singer chick, even though her voice is not that good live...I think she sings too much and lost it like 8 months ago but decided to keep singing anyway.

Vocal Duo of the Year
Big & Rich
Love and Theft
The Civil Wars
Thompson Square

Who will win: Thompson Square. Of the group they are the only ones to release more than 1 good song in the last 12 months. I don't see how they lose this.

Who should win: Thompson Square.

New Artist of the Year
Lee Brice
Brantley Gilbert
Hunter Hayes
Love and Theft
Thompson Square

Who will win: Brice. His songs are kind of girly, but he's been around as a writer so he'll get some respect here.

Who should win: Brice. Hayes is young and might get it just to piss off that Idol winner guy that sucks, but I think Brice has the better body of work at this point.

Album of the Year
Luke Bryan, Tailgates and Tanlines
Eric Church, Chief
Miranda Lambert, Four the Record
Dierks Bentley, Home
Lady Antebellum, Own the Night

Who will win: Lambert. Apparently she is the best album writer EVAR. Even though that CD is not that great.

Who should win: Church, top to bottom the best country album I have listen to in a while. He will get robbed though.

Song of the Year (Award goes to songwriters)
Eli Young Band, "Even if It Breaks Your Heart" - written by Will Hoge and Eric Paslay
Blake Shelton, "God Gave Me You" - written by Dave Barnes
Dierks Bentley, "Home" - written by Dierks Bentley, Dan Wilson and Brett Beavers
Miranda Lambert, "Over You" - written by Miranda Lambert and Blake Shelton
Eric Church, "Springsteen" - written by Eric Church, Jeff Hyde and Ryan Tyndell

Who will win: Shelton. The CMA folk love him. It is a touching song I guess and those tend to do well in this category.

Who should win: Church, a much better song than Shelton's. I am biased though. I still think it is the best song of the bunch even though Meiz hates it.

Single of the Year (Award goes to artist and producer)
Jason Aldean, "Dirt Road Anthem"
Blake Shelton, "God Gave Me You"
Dierks Bentley, "Home"
Little Big Town, "Pontoon"
Eric Church, "Springsteen"

Who will win: See above category...I have no idea why this is even a different category. It judges the same thing, but awards different people.

Who should win: See above category...I have no idea why this is even a different category. It judges the same thing, but awards different people.

Musical Event of the Year
"Dixie Highway," Alan Jackson and Zac Brown Band
"Feel Like a Rock Star," Kenny Chesney and Tim McGraw
"Roll Me Up and Smoke Me When I Die," Willie Nelson featuring Snoop Dogg, Kris Kristofferson and Jamey Johnson
"Safe and Sound," Taylor Swift featuring the Civil Wars
"Stuck on You," Lionel Richie and Darius Rucker

Who will win: Tough call, this is one that will go to a black guy, so either the Snoop one or the Richie and Hootie (Rucker). I'll pick Richie and Rucker because it is two black guys. Swift is an underdog here even though the CMA folk love her.

Who should win: I've only heard two of these songs. I have no idea.

Music Video of the Year
Eric Church, "Springsteen"
Kenny Chesney, "Come Over"
Miranda Lambert, "Over You"
Little Big Town, "Pontoon"
Toby Keith, "Red Solo Cup"

Who will win: Lambert for Over You. It is about Blake Shelton's dad dying, she is a stone cone lock.

Who should win: I guess Lambert, none of the other videos are even that good. Red Solo Cup is funny, but the CMA people never give Toby an award.

Musician of the Year
Sam Bush
Paul Franklin
Dann Huff
Brent Mason
Mac McAnally

Who will win: Mcannaly, he always wins.

Who should win: I don't even know who these people are.

Monday, October 29, 2012

I'm A Loser

Marcus Lattimore.


The Badgers are awful.
The Lions squeaked one out against the Seachickens.  No lie, I was rooting against the Lions.
I got crushed in $FNFL this week.
I went to Deluxe's parents house tonight because he's in the area for work on Monday and I needed that person to bring me the bomb ass windshield wipers from cmdeluxe's work.  Seriously, she gets them at like $3 for 2 and they're the best wipers I've ever put on a car.  God bless America.  We had pulled pork and I lent some advice for the 1st half of his FNBA draft.  I bailed out of the league because I got tired of the lack of direction.

More news on The Struggle.  Probz gonna check out another apartment this week or soon.  Less than ideal location, no garage or underground parking, yes dishwasher, yes garbage disposal.  Boo on it being an upper. $500.  I guess we'll see.  I'm ya-huge* on the dishwasher & garbage disposal.  I wish I could swing $770/month so I could have the place I had on the old Meiz Cribs videos.  Fuck, I miss that apartment.  It was the bomb. NS.

My ears hurt and I feel that my doctor doesn't really care about helping me.  When I see him, it's for maybe 15 minutes tops.  I sometimes think that maybe my pain gauge/threshold might be really skewed because I had 4 rotten molars and wisdom teeth that needed removed for 12 years, and just dealt with the pain, so I don't really know what actually hurts.

You guys know how I can't stand kids, so it's worth saying that I absolutely adore Deluxe's niece Mya.  I like teaching her how to dap me up, and she's a bombsauce dancer.  One of my favorite people on Earth.  Love her to pieces.

Drunk?  Drunk.  Itchy eyes?  Yep, there was a dog around.  Smoke?  Smoke.  BRB.

Went outside to smoke and the clouds were moving in the wrong direction.  Fucking hurricane.

When I ramble about my life here, I think about it, and have decided I do it because I don't talk to anybody else.  I could blog about it elsewhere, but I won't have the feeling that anybody will actually see it.  I know you care. s

HAAAAHAHAHAHA, Tigers.  Local radio guy Mike Wickett has me hating the Tigers for no reason other than he's a douche.  He's not a douche on the radio, though.  He's a huge douche on Facebook and Twitter.  I think he does great radio work, but fuck that.  DOUCHEBAG.

El Pad How To Video Of The Week
Big Mac.  No fishing this week.  I enjoy the Nicko's Kitchen.

Friday, October 26, 2012

El Pad's Picks How's ya face

CHICAGO -6.5 over Carolina
Prepare yourselves for another solemn Cammy Cam Cam press conference.  Chin up young man.  Ron Rivera is toast.

San Diego -2.5 over CLEVELAND
Chargers are going to wipe the floor with the Browns.  Too much.  Even Norv can't fuck this one up.  Shurmur is toast too.

DETROIT -1.5 over Seattle
Seattle has the #1 defence (British) apparentely.  Still think the Lions grab this one because they are home and they are desperate.

GREEN BAY -15.5 over Jax
Remember I said once this line couldn't be higher enough I'd take it at 21.  I lost that bet.  50/50

Indy +3.5 over TITANS
Luck is pretty good I have to admit.  I guess the hype was worth it. 

Pats -7 over RaMs
If this game were actually in Da' Loo and not in foggy Londontown I'd take the points.  But Brady sort of embodies everything we hate about the british.  So they will love him.

JETS -2 over Miami
TEEEBOOOWW impacts the game this week and not on a fake punt.

Atlanta +2 over PHILLY
Too much disarray in Andy Reid's belly right now. 

Skins +4.5 over STEELERS
The legend of RG III continues.  This old ass defense ain't going to be able to keep up with him.  Unless Dick LeBeau tricks his ass he'll tear these fools up.

KC -1 over Oakland
Dr. Quinn Medicine Woman! 

DALLAS +1.5 over Giants
Giants lose two games to a division rival every year.  Last year it was the Skins.  This year it's the Cowboys for some stupid reason.

New Orleans +6 over DENVER
Give me those points. 

ARIZONA +6.5 over San Fran
Something about a home dog on a Monday nighter.  Maybe they'll wear some third color alternate jersey like the collitch kids.

Thursday, October 25, 2012

moving day

Was it tem who wanted to go all in on the Tigers vs Barry Zito last night? Does Lp bitchscream for this Giants team too? Does Melky get a ring if they win? Is Zito in the last year of his deal? If so, maybe the Red Sox or Yankees can sign him for big money after this season.

Remember about a year ago I moved offices? You probably don't, but today we are moving back to our old office again. Progress! Hopefully I can still get to LOV over in the new old building.

Weekend plans: We are going to two Halloween parties on Saturday night. My costume is a replacement official. Referee shirt, hat, and I have a binder that has the cover page of the 2012 NFL rule book on one side and the cover for Football for Dummies on the other. It was a cheap costume, which is what I was going for. I need to find some kind of flag to throw at people who commit party fouls.

On Sunday cmjug and I are going here to see this guy in an acoustic show. Cool venue, cool show, and good dude. This is a video I took of him on one of those musicfest trips I went on a couple of years ago.

The STD cupcake pics were nasty!

We had this dude come out and run some tests on our water at the house the other day. It was part of a Welcome to the Neighborhood thing and we got a gift card to a steakhouse out of it. He spent about an hour and he was there to show us how good a home filtering system would work (for the low cost of 4-6 grand). He gets to talking about how he has 4 daughters, two of which are in high school, and he has a device on their cars that tracks everywhere they go real time. He can view it on his smart phone, laptop, or whatever. The devices were $300 each. I don't have kids yet, but some of you do. Is that something you'd do with your kids (especially with those fantasy slut leagues popping up). Would you install an app on your kids phone that would show you whatever text they send or receive? Just curious. On a side note, he told me he got that stuff at a spy store in downtown Houston...I'd like to check out that place.

I don't have anything left...its moving day...GO!

Wednesday, October 24, 2012

from the windows to the wall

ESPN the magazine has chosen the T-wolves as the #3 team in the west.  Obviously that was before K-love got hurt.  But still it begs the question, i don't think the timberwolves are the 3rd best team in the west (ahead of the lakers by the way) even with a healthy Kevin Love and a healthy Ricky Rubio.  I think they'll be a playoff team, maybe a 6 seed or so, I could even see them sneaking up to be a 4 or a 5.  But they aren't top 3.

Sometimes I think predictions like that are just horseshit that people throw out there. Obviously it makes more news if they make some bold prediction, than if it was just some plain and simple prediction.  So they get publicity.  Then on the off chance that their prediction comes true, they get more publicity and credibility because they "predicted" it.  I call this the "simmonsification" of american sports. It's something that El Tardo perfected.  It can also be called the "el padrino effect"...remember a broken watch is right twice a day.

Now starts the busy season for Blue.  Budget creation and year end prep and fun stuff like that.  Can't wait for TCS.  Blue hasn't fired anyone in quite some time, but he gets to next Wednesday.  It's more of a layoff, but either way, the axe gets to come out.

Ozzie Guillen was fired.  I guess he can talk about Castro all he wants now.  Maybe Castro will hire him to coach the Cuban national team. 

tOSU has been busy on the scheduling front.  First the deal with the sisters of the poor (TCU), and now with the most entertaining team in college football.  Of course Urb won't be there anymore when they start playing either of those teams, so it's pointless for him to comment.

Obama won 2 of the 3 debates, so I guesss he wins the presidency.

Heard this stat the other day.  Over the last 35 years in major league baseball, 14 teams have won game 6 at home to force a game 7 (now 15).  Of those 15 teams, all of them went on to win game 7 at home...except one...

wait for it...

EP knows what's coming....

Carlos Beltran knows what's coming...

if you guessed the 2006 METS, then you'd be correct.  They're the only team in the last 35 years to lose a game 7 at home after winning game 6 at home to force game 7.

Tuesday, October 23, 2012

Back from Europe

I'm back from Europe. Whip de do.

Things on my mind

Why in the world is Aaron Rodger's man cave outfitted with a 37 inch (at best) TV that they put on the coffee table? Who the fuck is in charge of commercials? This isn't even close to real. Nobody does that. Was El Pad in charge? They are sitting 1 foot away from the screen. And why is everything red? It looks retarded. I know Pizza Hut's logo is red, but come on man. And that couch looks shitty. This commercial is horrendous.

I was told in Britain that the British laid every major rail line in the world. Sorry chaps, but I am pretty sure chinese and black people laid ours.

That bit of knowledge was passed down by the old tour guide who was as annoying as fuck. He would ask people where they are from and then proceed to tell them why London was better. One guy was from NYC. It was funny to see NYC get taken down by the british bastard. He said London had more park space and older buildings. Well no shit on the older buildings, but I am not sure about the park space. Apparently NYC only has Central Park and not a single other park. Also the guy liked to talk to every lady and stare at her knockers. British people really are perverts.

Westminster Abbey was cool. Tower of London was cool. Eifel Tower was cool. Louvre was kind of cool. That's what you need to know. Oh and they are tearing down the Olympic village and you can't tour it, so don't take the 20 minute Metro ride out there and find out. Oh and there is an old mall and a new mall out there. Don't accidentally go into the old mall thinking it is the new mall. You will be disappointed. Then feel dumb when you see the new mall.

Delta flight back had no TVs in the seats. I had to watch what everyone else watched. That sucked. I watched What to Expect When you Are Expecting, some Zac Effron movie about a military guy who got back from Iraq and the latest Sherlock Holmes. Oh and the guy behind me was old and constantly grabbed my seat and shook it whenever he needed to move. He didn't have the muscles to stand up or move without shaking my seat first.

On the flight over there we sat next to a lady with an ~18 month old kid. She stuffed him under the seat in front of her and he went to sleep. No lie. She just stowed the fucker under the seat in front of her and he slept. He was far better than the lady in front of us on the way back that kept shitting her pants. Yeah lady we know it was you. It would smell like nasty fart then you'd get up and go to the bathroom.

I played week 5. I accidentally used Air Forces' play book. I didn't like it. I don't know why it didn't auto choose my playbook.

European toilets are wider and deeper than ours. When you poop in them they splash a lot. The wider part seemed smart, it spread your buttcheeks out I think. I should ask cmtem's opinion on them.

When we got to Paris the taxi driver guy told cmtem a whole bunch of things she shouldn't do. One of them was not to go to a peepshow. He told her this a few times. I don't know if it is code for something or what.

WVU football fans say

Ready for basketball season. GO HUGGY BEAR.

OSU football fans say

T. Pryor and his tatoos are costing us our chance at the National Title. Undefeated is in the books. Unless Braxton gets hurt. Guyton got lucky.


I bet it will be a shitstorm today. I missed a lot of time. I have decided again that I need to win the lottery and be a stay at home person. I guess if there is a kid involved I'll be a stay at home dad. But really I just want to stay at home do about 3 hours of housework and then watch TV or play video games the rest of the time. I did laundry and mowed the grass yesterday and some dishes. That all took about 2 hours. I could add another on there. The rest of the day was video games. It was nice. I might even watch more movies if I stayed home. I gotta get a lottery ticket.

OK speaking of work I should drive there. It rained so the drive will suck. Blah.

Monday, October 22, 2012

Friday, October 19, 2012

El Pad's Weekly Golden Ticket - I'm printing cash here people get on it.

Titans +3 over BILLS
For whatever reason the Titans own Buffalo.  Maybe it goes back to that Houston Oiler comeback - Buffalo sold it's soul to the devil at halftime of that game and this is the price they have to pay.

INDY +3 over Cleveland
Weeden in a dome vs a dome crowd is halloween scary.

Green Bay -5.5 over RAMS
I think A-Rodge has found his mojo.  Not even the stache can contain this.

VIKINGS -6 over Cardinals
I think the jig is up in Arizona.  That is not a good team and Skelton is not a good QB.  In fact they don't have a good QB on the roster.  Plus the Vikes sack the QB like 100 times better at home then on the road.  They will toss Skelton around like a bag of bones.  (Get it?)

Skins +6 over GIANTS
Proof couldn't be more obvious, the Giants simply hate playing in New Jersey.  I wish they played in one of the 5 boroughs.  Well except Staten Island which should be annexed by New Jersey.  Realistically though this matchup looks uneven.  RG III is fantastic but hasn't faced a front four like this plus the Skins catch NY at the wrong time.  The Giants cannot or will not start off 0-3 in the division.  I'll still take the points since NY tends to keep teams around.

Saints -3 over TAMPA
I really think the storm is passing down there in New Orleans.  It's like weeks 1-4 were Hurricane Katrina, week 5 was Part 1 of the recovery, the bye was Part 2 and Week 7 thrashing of the Bucs is Part 3.  You'd be surprised how many things get done in 2 weeks as opposed to one.

Dallas -1 over PANTHERS
I hate this pick, hate this game but I have to think the Boys find a way to beat the Panthers.  Despite the bye week and the fact that this is the first meeting between Cam and America's Team (hilarity) I have to think the Cowboys are much better than the Panthers overall/roster wise.  They need a win pretty badly too.

Ravens +6.5 over TEXANS
So the Texans are giving a TD and half to a team that is better than them because Ray Lewis is out and they lost their best corner?  This coming off a week where the Texans got destroyed at home, their first loss, to the only team they played that is solid competition?  This line offends me.  Harbaugh going to have a field day with this underdog themed week.  Adversity adversity adversity.

RAIDERS -4 over Jags

PATS -10.5 over Jets
The spread is high but the Pats have managed to cover this number vs NYJ before.  Jets haven't won since shocking New England in the playoffs last January (2011).  Series wasn't very competitive last year and without Revis especially I don't know how they are going to be able to take away Brady's weapons.  Too bad Sanchise sucks balls because a decent QB should be able to light up this porous Patriot secondary.

BENGALS +2.5 over Stillirs
I don't like Pittsburgh at all this year.  I think they've lost more than a step.  Call it age, call it predictability call it Todd Haley even.  Whatever it is they are mediocre.  And the Bengals will win this home game.

BEARS -6 over Detroit
Bears are sneaky good.  Not getting the national pub had a really terrible game against Green Bay and that is it.  Historically the Bears win the home date so I'll ride that trend.  Bears also have some impressive ATS stats having gone 5-0 at home when the favorite and 4-0 in the month of October.

Thursday, October 18, 2012

22 More Days...

...until I will be wishing I was in Vegas.


All the talk about eating yesterday was pretty funny. I'm a picky eater, so I don't eat a lot of things. For example, I don't like a lot of cheese. I like mozz, and cheddar sometimes, but its a consistency thing for me too. I like cheddar on things like potato skins, but melted cheddar that is soupy...nope. I don't like alfredo sauce either. I don't like a lot of casseroles and things like that. I am more of a meat and potatoes person, as long as those potatoes aren't smothered in soupy melted cheese. I could go on. As weird as I think it is that mize doesn't like onions and peppers, I have a lot more hang ups with food.

I have a female boss at work for the first time. Does anyone else have one, or have you had one? Its like having a second wife sometimes. There are good days and

A lot of talk on sports talk on whether A-Rod has played his last game as a yankee. He has 5 years and over 100 million left on that contract, and I think they'd have to eat over 90% of it to get rid of him. He can't hit righties anymore...good thing not many people are right handed (s). They could trade him to the Dodgers, or better yet, I heard the Red Sox just freed up some money. He'd fit in nicely with what they have going on there.

I think I'm done...I better post. GO!

Wednesday, October 17, 2012


So say goodnight to the Yahnkees.  They shouldn't have won the ALDS against Baltimore, so it's fitting they get walloped by the Tigers

Lance Armstrong is losing all his credibility.  I don't give a shit, sounds like everyone was cheating, so he's the best of the cheaters.

We have investors in today so I have to keep this short and suite

And, we're done

Tuesday, October 16, 2012

What kind of bug is this?

It looks kinda mean

I downloaded the blogger app for my phone, so if this post is messed up, that's why.

I love watching people try to parallel park. It amuses me. It is not nearly as difficult as people make it out to be. If I can parallel park my Navigator™, you should be able to handle your Prius™. Just sayin'...

I said this on Facebook the other day, but for those of you who don't have time for that shit (EP, Beth), is there a team that shoots themselves in the foot more than the Dallas Cowboys? I mean they are just painful to watch. Between dumb penalties and horrible clock management, they basically gave Baltimore that win. I love how national pundits still try to include Tony Romo in the discussion of "elite" NFL QBs. He doesn't win big games and he folds under pressure. That is not elite.

I'm starting to wonder if Tom Brady has turned into a giant pussy. He definitely has had happy feet this season. For some reason he keeps ducking to get away from defenders that aren't there. It's the oddest thing. He'll be standing in the pocket and all of a sudden he'll just duck, for no rhyme or reason, and then get back up and try to pass it. By then the pocket has usually collapsed and he gets sacked anyway. So he's basically causing himself to be sacked. That needs to stop.

I really don't have much else to say. Can't wait for Vegas. 24 days... I think...

Monday, October 15, 2012

Summit III: Bloggers In Vegas. The Countdown Begins

I'm seriously thinking about getting a shirt that says that.  Bloggers In Vegas over the Watch The Throne album cover.  Not sure how to go about doing that.

The Lions still stink.  I'm going to lose my $FNFL matchup.  I blame being up north and not getting my proper lineup setting sessions in.  That being said, the idiots in my league let me pick up Seattle's D on waivers.  Thanks, guys.  I mean, my team may be in 1st in the Anthony Dilweg division, but I feel like we're always teetering on the edge of crushing defeat.
EDIT:  Nobody else put a bid in on the #3 defense in our league.  I guess I overpaid?  WTF is with this league?

I heard this on the radio on the way home from the cabin today.  "Joe Haden is a top 5 corner in the NFL".  Really?  I hadn't heard of him until this year.  How many Top 5 corners are there in the league?  5? 10? 13?  Who the hell knows?

Fuck you, Brady Quinn.  Throw the fucking ball to Dwayne Bowe.  He's all you've got and Aquib Talib was out.  You suck.

I figured out a way to improve on a major process at work while I was on the shitter this weekend.  It should eliminate a lot of stress on me and confusion for the drivers delivering to us.  Can't wait to throw this smoke at 'em Monday morning.  It makes too much sense.  Should be fun.

Music Video That Makes Me Want To Run Through A Brick Wall

God, that gets me pumped up.

Lions Win! 6-10 baby!

Summit Talk
Whatta doing about rooms?  2 doubles and a single?  Am I getting screwed for being the last one to arrive?  Let me know if I need to put on lipstick or not.

We should be able to embed Facebook statuses the same way we can embed tweets.  I'd have so much unfair fun with that.  I'd post this one here: 
Jessica: I do not like the Seahawks!
Dianne: Crooked team!!!
Meiz: lol

 El Pad asking spiff to post the uppercut gif on Friday made me think of something.  A) It was
all over twitter.  B) I'm not saying El Pad is getting old, but he's lost a step or two.  I remember a time when he was on top of that shit.  Good bye, 6-pack.

I'm going to ask HR about something at work this week.  We have a gym.  It isn't too fancy, it isn't crappy.  We have to pay $10/month to use it.  Why?  It's unsupervised, there aren't any classes offered, we don't have an instructor, nobody maintains it, nobody cleans it, it's just there.  There are 6 people in the company that I can think of that actually use it, and they only use treadmills.  The company is allegedly big on promoting wellness, health, and fitness, but they don't do anything to take action other than one of the HR women sending out a CnP'd email once a week. Seems dumb that we have to pay for something that virtually nobody cares about.

RGIII!!!  Congrats again, Spiff.

El Padrino's Video Of The Week,/b>
Not sure if I've posted this already, but whatever.  I needed a refresher for ice fishing season.

This was caught last winter on our lake when we were fishing.  My sister ran into 2 of these guys at the grocery store that night.

I think this winter I'm going to do a couple How-to Ice fishing videos with me & Deluxe, cmDeluxe, or my sister just to fill this space.

Jesus christ, I wish Packers fans could see their tweets.  The Packers score touchdowns, the other teams are given touchdowns.  Every fucking week.  Worst fans in the NFL.  Packers won.  Oh well, I still hate 'em.

Good luck this week, gang.

Friday, October 12, 2012

Beat it, nothing to see here.

Here are my picks:

No gems this week Daddy is too busy to post (on the heels of two back to back 18 hour working days, ns).  WHOA.

Refunds will be paid in Magnum Ultra-Thin Condoms.  Sorry Meiz.

Thursday, October 11, 2012

Simpin ain't easy...

Actually it could be easy, I'm not sure.

Baseball has some good games on today...I wish I could see those to clinchers tonight. I've never been one to DVR games and watch them when they are over, but I've had to do that for the last few Bears games. The key was being able to watch them without finding out the final score before I got to see the end of the far so good. I'd much rather watch live, but skipping commercials is always suite.

I wish I was going to Vegas with you guys, but hopefully I'll be able to make the Summit next year. If you get a cab in Vegas and its a van, don't let Mize sit within reaching distance of any latches or other breakable things. You know how he gets.

Hopefully I'll get the spacing right on this post. Speaking of posts, is Mize really quitting Mondays, or was that just a #Sadderday on a Sunday moment for him? Who is taking over?

Did Lp finally defeat the Russians?


Wednesday, October 10, 2012

gettin jiggy wit it

will smith is one of the greatest american rappers of all time

good to see the baseball playoffs still going

I've still yet to watch an inning of post-season baseball

We're getting our basement finished, got to see some 3-D renderings of what it's going to look like and i'm pumped.  the bar area is going to be awesome

Can't believe Sandusky only got 30 years.  I guess he'll be dead anyway, but that still sucks.  And to continue to deny you ever did anything wrong is just sick.  I hope somebody "bear hugs" him his first week in prison.

Saw Danilo Galinari this morning driving in to work...he was in his Ferrari.  What the hell was he doing up so early.  NBA preseason is up and running, get pumped Tyler.

NHL season is locked out..who knew that?

I've decided to buy club level seats for the broncos next year.  Had never sat club level until a few games ago and now i'm hooked.  I realize it's the "wine and cheese" crowd, but so what.

Sports Talk radio wants Jason Giambi to be the next manager for the Rockies...that makes too much sense for the rockies to actually do that, so they'll hire some dumbshit.  Giambi would have everyone wearing a golden thong and shooting up roids (ahem, b-12), so you know the rockies would be competitive.

I'm kind of sick of the new bossman CFO.  He's getting more comfortable in the job, so now he's becoming a super micro-manager.  I've never had a CFO that wanted to micro manage.  For example, he wants to meet all the candidates for an AP clerk position we're hiring.  That seems a bit much.

I suck at NCAA 13. 

Tuesday, October 09, 2012



Went to a wedding in Maryland this weekend. It was fun. Went to the Aquarium there. It was no zoo. It was $30 per person. Ripoff. It was worth maybe $15. We didn't watch the dolphin show though, so maybe that is where the extra $15 came from. We saw the dolphins though. They were cool. Sharks were cool. Little kids running around and screaming were not. I am pretty sure parents just decide that they are going to let their kid do that because everyone else does. If cmtem and I have a kid I am going to unleash it like a terror upon unsuspecting groups at zoos and aquariums and malls and anywhere else I can think of. I am going to give it a bag of sugar and a red bull and let it loose. I keep saying it. It sounds wierd, but I didn't want to type him/her each time. I be lazy you.

I need to play week 3 I think. I'm going on vacation and will be out for a whole week too, so that'll slow down the league. The rest of yous can use that time to figure out what LB and RB do and figure out how to play the pass and run with the right trigger and stick.

My FNFL keeper team kicked ass this week. I beat some Dong team. I assume that is El Pad. My money league team won too. I am SAS.

tOSU fan stuff

They think they will go unbeaten and be the secret National Title winners. At the end of the season they might have played 0 ranked teams (teams ranked at the end of the season) but right now they seem to think that Urban magic is real and they'd beat Bama.

WVU fan stuff

Cautiously optimistic. We love Geno. He could run for King of WaVa and win. WaVa would secede (sp?) from the USA and be a Kingdom under King Geno. The defense is turrible. Actually Charles Barkley wouldn't even use turrible. He would say something else. Herrenderous?

Getcha Some

I just wanted to type that.

Cheering injured players

Cheering because someone got hurt is always poor form. KC fans should be ashamed. It is saying a lot when someone on this blog calls someone else out for poor form.

WNBA playoffs

They are going on. I think.

MLB playoffs

CIN looks good. DET looks good. Neither will make the world series.

OK I am done posting. It is late in the morning.

Monday, October 08, 2012

Packers Lose To Colts


I don't feel like posting on Sunday nights ever.  I usually wind up pretty angry on Sunday nights, considering my location.

Oh, nice. Apparently I have to take our pier out of the lake by myself next weekend.  That should be awesome.

I had to pare this post all the way down.  It got way too personal.  Sorry, but not sorry.

I hate doing this crap. I quit.

Friday, October 05, 2012


32-28 Overall after a scorching hot week finishing 12-2.  Be jealous.  SKILLZ. 


BENGALS -3.5 over Miami
Both teams have surprised me a bit.  Didn't expect the Bengals offense to be that quite explosive.  In 3 wins the Bengals hae scored 27, 38, 34 respectively.  That is towards the top 4 in the league in points thus far.  Miami has surprised me in how competitive they are.  They've shown the ability to keep games close enough to give themselves a chance to win.  Outside of the Houston blowout which is not even fair from a roster standpoint (i'm saying they were greatly overmatched) they've lost 2 games by a combined 6 points.  I lean Bengals here because #1 home, and #2 I don't Miami has enough to keep up with the Bengals if this turns into a shootout.  Which is probably going to happen (take the over).

INDY +7 over Green Bay
Since the loss to the Cheifs last season that snapped the Packers undefeated streak they have looked less and less dominant each time out.  I have no idea what that means because the team has still got all the pieces, are relatively healthy and Rodgers is still a beast.  All I know is they have been very underwhelming the past 8 games (dating back to the Cheif loss).  Now Indy, off a bye, has this emotion that will spill out onto the field and can sway this game a bit within the oil drum.  Rodgers may pull it out but I don't think it's a lock they'll pull it out by more than a touchdown and an extra point.

Ravens -6 over KC
Finally a normal Sunday game for the Ravens.  I don't think they even blink in this one.  They've gotten the rest, the work is done just go out and execute.

Browns +9 over GIANTS
Just a formality at this point.  I can't recall the last time the Giants covered a +7 spread at home.

STEELERS -3.5 over Eagles
Philly is some luck away from an 0-4. Truth.  AHIK.  Steelers off a bye got healthy and they are 9-3-1 ATS at home over the last 13 games. 

REDSKINS +3 over Falcons
5-0 Falcons?  Remember that year they went 13-3 and lost in the first round?  You know the Panthers lost that game last week.  Terrible coaching, terrible defense.  I think this will be one of RGIII's signature wins this year.  Pop champagne 72' fins.  Pop champagne OHHHHHHHHHHH.  One down, one to go.

CAROLINA +3 over Seattle
I'm doing the home/road thing with Seattle remember?  It's working so far.

Chicago -6 over JACKSONVILLE
Defense alone can win this game for DA BEARS.  Shit speacial teams can win this one for them.

Titans +5.5 over VIKINGS
For some reason I think Hasselback stabalizes this team a little bit.  Is Chris Johnson back?  Probably not but I think the passing game for the Titans will improve.  I think the veteran comes in, spreads the ball around and manages the game effectively enough to keep the Vikings offense and Adrian Peterson on the sideline.

NEW ENGLAND -6 over Broncos
Pats alway spank on Denver.  Peyton being there, at this point, doesn't mean much to me.  If this game happened in week 13 or so when Peyton is more advanced in his progression I'd give them a chance.  I don't think he's quite ready to carry an offense like he has in the past.  Got a feeling New England starts a vicious "fuck you" winning streak this week.

SAN FRAN -10 over Buffalo
Western New York to Northern California is a long fucking way.  San Fran tuned up on the Jets, Fitzpatrick is good for three picks this week.  Chan Gailey is a bumbling fool.

SAINTS -3.5 over Chargers
Lock.  Write it down in sharpie.  Saints caputre first win of the seaosn in front of the blackballed GM/coaches and the frenzied Mercedes-Benz Superdome crowd.

JETS +8 over Texans
Houston has beaten nobody yet.  Nobody.  I think the Jets answer a rallying cry from Rex Ryan and keep this a game.

Thursday, October 04, 2012

Spot Start

Jug got called into an emergency work meeting. The general was watching Independence Day and thinks we are under attack. He is devastated that Harry Connick Jr. didn't have the ability to thwart the invasion. He is skeptical that the nerdy dude will pull off his plan.

Miguel Cabrera won the triple crown. That is a terrible name for a horse. I don't get it at all. But good for him. Now we can stop listening to people bitch about no triple crown winners. Just drink your mint julep and shut the fuck up.

The space shuttle went here to see these guys last night. Just kidding. I don't link well and I don't know where the space shuttle went.

Bobby V is getting let go. Just do it now and get it over with. Then the Indians will hire Francona and Bobby V can get his TV job back. Works for everyone. The BoSox can hire LaRussa as their manager. I hear he was bored this summer.

Royce White wants to travel by bus as much as possible for Rocket games. I think the Mavericks would have made this happen no problem. The Rockets seem to be stumbling. Dude said he'd pay for his own bus. Let him ride the bus. He is the new Anne Frank or Rose Perez or Rosa Parks or whoever. LET HIM RIDE, LET HIM RIDE, LET HIM RIDE. That's what people say to Beth. Not sure why he isn't at training camp though. He had plenty of time to walk or drive there. He could have ridden a moped Dumb and Dumber style.

FYI - sequel to that is apparently a go again. Whatever.

Should I start Steven Jackson tonight or Devon Bess? Those are my choices. It is my flex position. The rest of my team is OK, but the BYE week is eating me up.

The Terminator was on the BS report??? GTFO

Well, work is calling me now. Well not on the phone. They are looking at me like I can't possibly be doing math because I am typing too fast. I don't type that fast, but this would be really fast for a spreadsheet. Like I am using all letters. It is obvious. I would never type this many words into one spreadsheet. Work PAPER!

Wednesday, October 03, 2012


Rangers are going to choke away the AL West, which actually means something this year because the winner doesn't have to play in the stupid 1 game wildcard on Friday.  Cardinals already clinched their spot against the Braves in the wildcard game.  Baseball playoffs should be a little more fun, a few new teams in it this year.  Oreos and A's.

I get to go home early today because they're shutting down the freeway for like 6 hours because of the presidential debate here in town.  Thanks Obama

got some new interwebs yesterday, but it's clocking significantly slower than advertised, blue is going to get pissed about that.

Rockies did not lose 100 games this year.  I was hoping they would, because at some point it was obvious they weren't going to win 100, so they may as well lose 100.  Unfortunately they won Monday night, or else the game today would have been fun to watch.  I haven't watched a rockies game since probably July (ns).  but at least they'll have the 3rd pick in the draft.

Broncos vs Patriots has always been fun when the broncos have been decent.  I expect an ass whooping for the broncos on Sunday though.  Not much on their defense has changed since they got slaughtered twice by the Pats last year, so not sure why they think they'll be competitive this year.  Plus you know Josh McD wants to stick it to the broncos as much as possible.  The Patriots might score 70 points.

The writers of this new Go On show on NBC are trying to write a show that appeals to both men and women.  They figure if they have a guy who hosts a sports radio talk show and they make sports references, that'll bring in the guy audience.  And, if they make it all sappy because he lost his wife and is going through therapy, that'll bring in the lady audience.  That way they don't have to write anything that's actually funny or interesting.  But you know what, it works, I watch it and cmblue watches it, and every once in a while we laugh.  I mean it's not nearly as funny as New Girl but it does get some laughs, and keeps me entertained.

Tune in next week when blue gives you an update on the baseball playoffs and reviews another sitcom that EP doesn't watch.

Tuesday, October 02, 2012


0% El Pad goes to Vegas. He has to walk on eggshells at work with new big boss. He's probably dropped more "yes sirs" in the past week than he had the 9 months before that. New big boss time sucks.

State of WVU fan
Totally worried that WVU will get crushed by at least 4 big 12 teams. The offense is good, but the defense is super duper bad. They need to fix that. Playing with 12 men and taking the penalty each play would at least slow the other team down. You know it is bad when that is a legitimate strategy to give your offense some rest. In any case, Texas will be a huge test. I figure that crappy Shipley receiver will go for 15 catches and 250 yards. Texas has lots of Shipleys.

State of tOSU fan
Super pissed that even though Tressel is gone they still end up winning games like Tressel did. Still super in love with Urban. Super pissed that they can't go to a bowl game because they would definitely win the Big 10 title this year. Could go unbeaten. tOSU fans are super overconfident and super pissed at their team at the same time. Hard to describe. In one breath they can't put teams away and they are sure they are going to lose a close one and the next breath they say 12-0 is a great possibility because all the other Big 10 teams suck.

State of the Tampa fan
Josh Freeman sucks. I don't care if you drove the team down for a FG at the end to take the lead, what about the other 10 drives during the game? And coach Grumpy needs to learn clock management. Don't give an NFL team that much time at the end of the game. I am looking forward to the Matt Barkley era. Maybe it will be the Geno Smith era.

I would totally watch a half hour TV show that consisted of 15 minutes of angry black women followed by 15 minutes of excited black women. Black women know how to be angry and excited. You ever see a black lady win on the price is right? It is great. They win a box of rice and they go wild, they win a car and they go crazu. It doesn't matter. They win and someone is getting hug tackled. Saw a lady on the voice and her third cousin got picked. She went apeshit. It was great. Greatest part of the show that night. I bet the CW already has this show on. Or it is really the plot line to a Tyler Perry TV show and I just haven't seen it.

That's a lot of INTs. I was playing against Witten with a 32 point lead. Guess who won by 1 point? That's right, I did. Until some point change. I doubt blue's kicker got negative points so he beat me. That's OK, I am pretty sure ESPN says he had 3 restarts. Freak should do something about those restarts. RIP Freak.

Soccer talk
It sucks

Sub TV show talk
Watched that Sub TV show I DVRed. I liked it. Although I have no idea who the white dude costar is. I guess I am supposed to know him. They keep saying his name and I have no idear* who he is. I know he is the guy from the Sub TV show.

Chocolate and Cheerios today. I should just put the Chocoalt milk in the Cheerios. Nah.

OK go forth and frolic.

Monday, October 01, 2012

Ehhh, it was a decent weekend.

I'll start by saying I didn't take my camera out of my duffel bag this weekend.  Bummer because there we lots of good pictures to take, from big shiny engines, sweet looking old cars, heauxs, the flabongo, the humongous crowd and what not.  I know I joked about showing up to Summit II with a fanny pack, but goddammit I really should for Vegas(not a chance in hell).  Speaking of Vegas, I heard El Pad was coming.  We'll be staying at Bill's Gambling Hall.  Find us.

Football was football again.  The Lions still stink, and Packers fans are complaining about referees AGAIN.  Seriously, Packers fans are the worst fans in the league.  You'll never come across a bigger group of fans with a sense of entitlement that constantly complains about getting screwed.  FUCK THE GREEN BAY PACKERS.

This band I watched on Saturday with Sister & Friends rocked.  They were some 20-something white guys that only played old funk, R&B, and Soul.  It was outstanding.  Shaker & The Egg is the name of the band.  They were dope as fuck.

Saturday night sucked my dick.  That's all I'm going to say about that.

I have the showing for this apartment tomorrow after work.  I'm looking forward to it, but I hope they don't try to screw me on anything.  It would be nice if it has a garbage disposal and a dishwasher, and maybe on-site laundry.  For $440 a month, I'm expecting none of those.  We'll see what this place is looking like.

GODDAMMIT, it's almost 9:00 already.  I hate Sundays.  Mainly, I hate going to work.

Why is ASAP Rocky on the FIFA13 commercial?  Do you guys even know who that is?  The o/u on that is 1.5.

So the refs just can't get the fuck out of the way in this Eagles/Giants game.  This is so dumb.  Let the guys play.


Monday Video, I guess.

This is actually really good.

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"

"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem

"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug

"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino

"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H

"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino

"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino