Friday, September 07, 2012

VMA Running Diary brought to you by Vagisil Clear Gel

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO live from the El Papartment located in the capital of the world Brooklyn, NEEEWW YOOOORKK I bring to you the official running diary of the MTV Video Music Awards......

8:00 - Rihanna time.  Yes please I will be your sex slave.

8:02 -Lots of suggestive dancing I wonder what message she is trying to convey here.

8:03 - YELLOW DIAMONDS IN THE LIGHT

8:05 - She better hope Chris Brown isnt in that crowd.  Fuck around and get knocked out while trying to open up the VMA's

8:07 - HAHAHAHAHA midget secret service. HAHHAHAHAHA that is hilarity.

8:10 - I am taller than Kevin Hart.

8:10 - Frank Ocean is gay.  Yup.  Gay.  Real Gay.  Like Dick.

8:12 - Katy Perry looking fine. Knockers are not knocking though.

8:14 - Pop is short for popular.  Thank you Katy.

8:15 - Maroon 5 is pop.  HAHAA Another reason to hate them.

8:16 - Oh no.  Not this shit.  Fuck I should have saw this coming.  A bunch of bald twats just won best pop.  One Direction.  Gonna be a long night of these lil twats accepting awards.

8:17 - Oh and they are British apparentely. And Simon Cowell shits gold bricks.

8:19 - Im voting for Call Me Maybe.

8:24 - Gross Lady Gaga has a perfume.  Probably smells like hot garbage.

8:25 - Speaking of hot garbage Miley Cyrus!

8:26 - Pink has some weird? qualities to her but to be honest Im kind of a fan.  Talented fucking chick.  Fat ass too.

8:27 - Damn you can bring babies to the VMA's.  They just cut to baby SWIZZ beatz.

8:29 - Pink is putting her vagina in the crowd now.  She seems fun.

8:30 - Taylor Swift looks like a Bratz doll.

8:30 - only Blue will get that joke

8:31 - M.I.A is the shit

8:32 - fuck Bieber is nominated AND Chris Brown.....this is like a JETS/Eagles super bowl or something.

8:33 - Punk ass Chris Brown is rocking white hair.

8:52 - Had to put BGEP tp sleep. 

8:53- and now drake and Lil wayne is on the stage listening to music during his acceptance speech

8:53 - Nicky Minaj has the fattest ass on the planet earf

8:55 - Jerz shore is ending,  Suite.

8:57 - This is getting boring, with all the commercials and all.

8:58 - Taking a break, One Gay Ass Direction is coming on live now.

9:03 - and back who is this fat mess?  Adele's baby sister or something

9:04 - Starships were meant to fly.  Again, comically huge ass.

Gonna eat with cmep and then hit up work.  Yeah it's like that.

Take Savannah St plus 70.5 over FSU saturday.

222 comments:

1 – 200 of 222   Newer›   Newest»
Mize said...

No NFL picks????


WTF??

Mize said...

This is not the quality we are accustomed to

Beth said...

You forgot the quotes around "quality".

El Padrino said...

"No NFL picks????


WTF??"

i forgot

El Padrino said...

are we doing a pick em?

Mize said...

Evidently not. Set it up and I'll jump in. Against the number, of course.

El Padrino said...

of course

El Padrino said...

Suite Pick'em League
Group ID# 65224

Password is dong

ns

please join so i can murder you all again

Mize said...

I can't join whilst at WORK.

El Padrino said...

remind yoself

El Padrino said...

lock of the week in the monday night slate

bmore crushes cincy and san diego cover one point

tem said...

cincy always plays bmore tough.

Mize said...

I think the Bengals are decent

tem said...

bmore has joe flacco. doesn't that eliminate the ability to crush people?

El Padrino said...

The Ravens will win by more than 6 at home on Monday night.

The end.

Bmore has Flacco but they also have Rice Rice baby.

El Padrino said...

flacco gonna have a good year imo

tem said...

oh, i did not realize a 7 point win was crushing.

tem said...

a good year for flacco is a bad year for brady, rodgers, brees

tem said...

so yeah, he will have a good year for him, but he won't hit that elite status.

El Padrino said...

correct

tem said...

damn, super sadness for me. i just read this:

"You should probably get a pass if your biggest resume regret comes at the very beginning of your career, so Michelle Pfeiffer shouldn't be too hard on herself for Grease 2. Despite coming out nearly three decades ago, Pfeiffer still looks back on the experience poorly, "I hated that film with a vengeance and could not believe how bad it was. At the time I was young and didn't know any better."


tem said...

my only solace is that she hated it with a vengeance.

tem said...

et tu, michelle?

tem said...

what's the crying face?

:'(

that doesn't look right. that looks like a sad face with a broken nose.

Mize said...

Okay, a five digit phone extension is a bit fucking much.

Mize said...

I was trying to figure out the crying face the other day. I guess I forgot what it is.

I'm sure H knows

tem said...

the bible says this:

QQ

tem said...

or these, but these are for tears of happiness maybe.

:'-(
:'(
:'-)
:')

Mize said...

That's wrong

Aitch said...

Your face is wrong.

Mize said...

I may also be wrong

El Padrino said...

“Anytime you have a corner, he’s had this issue before, now it’s on the other side” Coughlin said of Coe. “I don’t understand it. I didn’t know there was a hamstring till about five years ago. That’s all we hear, you have to be able to take the field and play this game. Somehow, some way, people stay out there. We’re in a position where we need all the help we can get back there.”



coughlin is hlarious, unintentionally most of the time

El Padrino said...

beth knows crying face shes a chick

El Padrino said...

hows the fmbeth thing working out

tem said...

beth doesn't post anymore because jug was beth and jug doesn't post anymore.

tem said...

they stopped posting at the exact same time.

Jugdish said...

It was the .com to .net change that Did me in.

tem said...

negative jugbeth

Keef said...

A wombat’s pouch opens at the bottom.

El Padrino said...

interesting

Keef said...

coughlin is hlarious, unintentionally most of the time




I know of another NJ guy who comments here who is the same way

El Padrino said...

there are no jersey guys commenting on here

Keef said...

where are you?

Keef said...

more often than not, when you are commenting here, where are you?

Beth said...

"beth doesn't post anymore because jug was beth and jug doesn't post anymore."

So close tem, I'm actually spiff.

El Padrino said...

"often than not, when you are commenting here, where are you?"

my location is irrelavent

Keef said...

apology accepted

tem said...

"So close tem, I'm actually spiff."

crazy that you posted right after jug did.

Beth said...

"crazy that you posted right after jug did"

I think I may start posting right after jug (me?) every chance I get, really mess with tem's head.

Jugdish said...

I think I may start posting right after jug (me?) every chance I get, really mess with tem's head.


I wish you'd mess with My head.

/Lp

tem said...

jug is beth. i am convinced.

this is a greater shock than the Usual Suspects ending.

Keef said...

mize is going to become a Grizz fan

Mize said...

Grizz?

Keef said...

Justin Timberlake to become minority owner of Grizzlies

Keef said...

it's funny that WWL has the story on the front page today of the kid in Denver who got sent home for wearing a manning jersey. That story is like 4 or 5 days old

Jugdish said...

jug is beth. i am convinced.

No, beth is jug

El Padrino said...

finkle is eihnorn

einhorn is finkle

Jugdish said...

@kurt13warner: That was fast! We are sold out on suite tix! Thanks to all!! #fb


suite

Blue said...

i've convinced the guys i wanted to stay #nCAA13

meiz can roll it whenever

Blue said...

at the beach in Alabamer.

good times...except too many Bama fans

you win 2 national championships in the last 3 years and people just start coming out of the woodwork.

the nerve

Keef said...

watch out for hurricanes

Jugdish said...

Go to an Auburn beach

Beth said...

"No, beth is jug"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Multiple personality disorder is a bitch.



Tell me about it.

/Herschel Walker

El Padrino said...

i want to hit up the gulf coast one year

Keef said...

0%

El Padrino said...

again i should say, been to the florida side of the coast

meant like another state

El Padrino said...

shut up keef

Keef said...

no

El Padrino said...

id pay a million pesos to see that cell phone video of shakira having sex

tem said...

i have to see if anyone is leaving early on NCAA.

i'll do that tonight.

El Padrino said...

"Prince Harry deployed to Afghanistan"


now THAT is punishment

Jugdish said...

shut up keef


0%

El Padrino said...

san fran/green bay game man i wish i could see it, one of the must see games this weekend

tem said...

why can't you?

El Padrino said...

woerk*

El Padrino said...

i should get in all the 1pm on red zone though i think woerk* is at 4

El Padrino said...

freedon tower almost done

hopefully aitch will approve of the progress thus far

El Padrino said...

facebook hilarity

Mize said...

"woerk*"


Haha

Keef said...

freedon tower almost done




Note to self

/AQ

ToddPacker said...

crushing BBQ in Taylor, TX right now.... best.brisket.evAr

El Padrino said...

suite

Mize said...

Brisket. Meh.

ToddPacker said...

"Brisket. Meh."

eteo in texas

Keef said...

mize will only eat brisket if he can put steak sauce on it

El Padrino said...

brisket is awesome in all forms

jeiwsh
corned
bbq
ropa vieja

El Padrino said...

only manly thing meiz enjoys is fishing

weird dude

tem said...

i don't really like brisket either.

tem said...

its OK.

El Padrino said...

simmons was on pti yesterday and he is terrible on tv, further he needs to eat a hamburger STAT

tem said...

if he is talking basketball he is OK on tv. anything else is a train wreck.

he can only talk boston sports if it is non basketball.

El Padrino said...

just him talking is not TV friendly, some guys are better suited for radio

El Padrino said...

plus he talks too much, takes way to long to drive a point home

tem said...

true

El Padrino said...

my stomach is sour

El Padrino said...

some of you may have seen this already but it's worth a post if not

peyton NYT article is pretty solid

tem said...

NY in NYT stands for New York right?

if so, the article sucks.

Mize said...

"only manly thing meiz enjoys is fishing

weird dude"


Yeah, fishing is some weird counterculture shit, man.

Mize said...

And golf, that's weird, too.

Keef said...

Not sure that LP was ranking on fishing

El Padrino said...

i was giving you props for the fishing ya dope

El Padrino said...

if so, the article sucks.

New York Times

El Padrino said...

golf is hardly "manly"

Keef said...

golf is grate

Keef said...

frustrating as fuck, but grate

tem said...

golf is a dude's thing. it isn't something girls usually do.

they do it for sure, but if you have to catergorize it as manly or girly you gotta go manly.

tem said...

GOLF IS A NOUN. OR A VERB OR WHATEVER MEIZ SAYS

Mize said...

"golf is hardly "manly""


Oh? Pounding a tee shot 340 down the gut lacks testosterone? Tell that to my buddies I play golf with.

Mize said...

GOLF IS A NOUN
or
GOLF IS NOT A VERB

Mize said...

ANYWAY. El Pad doesn't have any manly hobbies. Watching porn, cooking, and eating are not manly. That actually sounds lonely and mopey.

Keef said...

ha

Keef said...

it isn't something girls usually do.



And the girls that do are pretty manly

Keef said...

El Pad doesn't have any manly hobbies



dude, he plays ROUGH touch footyball

Mize said...

"dude, he plays ROUGH touch footyball"


And doesn't even want to play anymore. Farewell to El Pad's testosterone. Next to go is the libido.

Keef said...

it's a shame

Beth said...

"Next to go is the libido"

I've been praying for that for years!

/cmep

Beth said...

EP, have you done your farewell sign for Chipper yet for this weekend's games?

Last time in NY, you know you're going to miss him.

tem said...

jug you are signed in on the wrong account again.

Beth said...

The tough part when I sign in is remembering if I'm an Atlanta fan or a Texas fan.

Keef said...

That's cute that you intentionally forgot that jug is a Chicago fan

Mize said...

Jug isn't really a fan of anything Texas

Beth said...

I did that on purpose.

/ep

El Padrino said...

EP, have you done your farewell sign for Chipper yet for this weekend's games?

yup

LARRY SUCKS in big RED LETTERS

Beth said...

There's probably really only like 2 or 3 people on LOV with lots of alter egos. Everyone who supposedly went to the summits is really 1 person making it all up.

Beth said...

"LARRY SUCKS in big RED LETTERS"

I can feel the love from that sign alone.

El Padrino said...

"El Pad doesn't have any manly hobbies"

my fight club is manly

Aitch said...

Saints players win their appeal. Wow!

tem said...

you have no fight club

Aitch said...

" Everyone who supposedly went to the summits is really 1 person making it all up."

Pictures don't lie, Beth.

Keef said...

I did that on purpose.

/ep




hilarity

tem said...

so saints players get to play 1 week until the commish wins his appeal?

Mize said...

"LARRY SUCKS in big RED LETTERS"


This would be awesome

Beth said...

"Pictures don't lie, Beth"

Anyone can find pics online of a few goofy guys together Aitch.

Keef said...

With Saints winning appeal, suspensions are voided as Roger Goodell doesn't have jurisdiction and Stephen Burbank does.

Keef said...

So is Sean Payton still suspended?

Beth said...

So is it just the players reinstated or Payton too?

Beth said...

Crap, I'm thinking like Keef. I may sit the next few out...

tem said...

don't worry about it jug

Beth said...

See, I TOLD you beth was a dude! I just had no idea that dude was JUG!!

/zeke

Mize said...

Screw you guys, I'm going home.

Keef said...

screw your face

Beth said...

Hey, I can screw myself!

/jugbeth

Keef said...

but not right away

Keef said...

you gotta wait about 27 months

tem said...

take
it
slow

Beth said...

Hilarity.

Keef said...

Mumford & Sons is a good band

tem said...

sounds like a tv show

Keef said...

it's not

tem said...

sounds like one

tem said...

el pad's only response to being girly was to make up him being in a fight club?

tem said...

well to being non-manly.

El Padrino said...

i was referring to meiz not really liking steak (only likes filet), cant eat healthy portions of food, cant grill a piece of meat correctly, makes a brisket comment, etc.

i said that fishing was really his only manly thing

El Padrino said...

none of us have manly hobbies

my hobbies are working and putting food on my family's table like a real man

that's my hobby

tem said...

work isn't a hobby

tem said...

that's why it is called work

tem said...

if it were a hobby it'd be called a hobby

ToddPacker said...

"Mumford & Sons is a good band"

^^^^^^^^^^^

tem said...

el pad is dancing around the issue like a talented ballet dancer. maybe jazz, i don't know. i don't know these girly things that he excels at.

Keef said...

This pretty much answers the question to whether LP is manly

ToddPacker said...

at black's BBQ in Lockhart now

El Padrino said...

"that's why it is called work"

exactly

dont have time for that shit

i play sports when i do have time, sports that require running and jumping

i also do pushups and crush beer

Keef said...

none of us have manly hobbies



Then why did you rank on mize because the only manly hobby he has is fishing

Keef said...

sports that require running and jumping



That has nothing to do with being manly

Keef said...

Little girls can run & jump in the Olympics.

El Padrino said...

little girls can play anything

El Padrino said...

running and jumping with a ball

Keef said...

exactly. So saying that you play sports that require running & jumping isn't really saying much

tem said...

el pad loves balls?

El Padrino said...

i love you guys

El Padrino said...

piece

tem said...

el pad left early for sewing class

tem said...

or crochet

Keef said...

he'll never see that

Mize said...

I'm having a delicious salad

Keef said...

is it a manly salad?

Mize said...

It has feta, pepperoncinis, radishes, bacon bits and Caesar dressing. I vote yes.

Keef said...

radishes are so gross

Mize said...

I slice them really thin. My mom eats them like tiny apples with salt. Pretty gross.

Keef said...

yuck

Keef said...

I hate having to give bad news to nice people

Aitch said...

" I hate having to give bad news to nice people"

Really? I thought be an As. was your main motivation for the career change...

Keef said...

ok

Mize said...

Well, I mean, he's kinda right. You have to be a bit of an asshole to be an insurance adjuster.

Keef said...

Not really.

tem said...

Seems like you have to be a bit of one.

Mize said...

Guy 1: What do you do for a living?

Guy 2: I crush peoples' souls with added debt and high insurance premiums.

Keef said...

I have zero to do with insurance premiums

ToddPacker said...

just woke up from a BBQ coma... time to drink

Keef said...

If you don't want your premiums to go up, don't cause an accident

ToddPacker said...

insurance adjusters are people too

Mize said...

"insurance adjusters are people too"


Only slightly more than actuaries

ToddPacker said...

6th st is crazy tonight

Mize said...

I think 6th St is just always crazy

Mize said...

We were there over Pecan Festival weekend last year

ToddPacker said...

"I think 6th St is just always crazy"

yeah, I'm sure it is. just. seems a little more amped up from last night. home game for UT tomorrow

Mize said...

That'll do it

tem said...

I did my persuading of the guy who wanted to leave. I told him have fun at SMU. He'll free up a scholarship for someone who doesn't suck.

Keef said...

I'll persuade later tonight when I get home

ToddPacker said...

200

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"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





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"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino