Friday, September 28, 2012

El Padrino's Picks Week Four

Overall 20-26 but charging.  And the refs are back, wonder how long this honeymoon will last.

New England -4 over BUFFALO
The Pats are 7-1 ATS vs the Bills in the past 8 games. The 1?  Their trip to Orchard Park a year ago Wednesday.  Prior to that they beat the Bills 8 straight times.  I don't think the Patriots will lose three games in a row.  Wonder when is the last time the Pats lost three in a row?  Shit if Mark Sanchez and Weeden can light up the Bills secondary what is Brady going to do with his 50 pass attempts?

Carolina +7 over ATLANTA
Cam hasn't beaten Matt Ryan yet.  After Sunday, he still won't have a win against Matt Ryan.  I have drastically underestimated the Falcons defense thus far so despite the strong start from Matt Ryan it's really been their defense that has impressed.  I think the Falcons win but am calling a garbage TD late for the infamous back door cover.

HOUSTON -12 over Tennessee
Schaub's deformed ear can rush for more yard than Chris fucking Johnson.  If he, by some fucking miracle of Jesus, bursts out this week with big numbers I will fucking lose it.  I'm benching him this week and never want to look back.  It's like when you sell a stock.  Never watch the stock after you sell it.  Will only cause stress.  And stress kills. KIK.

San Diego +1 over CHEIFS
The Cheifs suck.  Crennel fooled them.  Norv has been fooling Dean Spanos and Co. for YEARS.  This is the battle of the two guys who won't be NFL coaches after this season.  Chargers can't play any worse than they did last week and Saints gave away the game yet still had a chance to win late. 

Minnesota +4.5 over DETROIT
Vikings played very well last week and I will really impressed with Ponder.  Made some really good decisions under duress.  Also not quite sure about Stafford holding up the whole game.

ST. LOUIS +2.5 over Seattle
Nice little home dog here.  Seattle sucks ass on the road.

Niners -4 over JETS
Heard a Rex Ryan spot on the radio begging the fans to show up Sunday and root hard.  Starting to hate that guy.  Anyway I think the Niners got punched in the mouth last week and it hurt.  I think they'll do the punching this week.  Sanchez/Shonn Greene <<<<<<<<<<< Ponder/All Day.

BRONCOS -6.5 over Raiders
This goes against all kinds of logic.  Just playing a hunch here.  Denver has a terrible ATS records against both the Raiders and against teams with losing records.  Road team is 7-1 ATS, overall Denver is 8-24-1 against teams with a losing record and overall Denver has been pitiful ATS.  Like I said.  Just a hunch.

CARDINALS -6 over Dolphins
So they are for real. Well then they should beat the Dolphins rather easily.

Bengals -2.5 over JACKSONVILLE
Benjarvus Green Ellis fumbled last week.  Wonder if Alltel Stadium sells out this week with the marquee matchup they have.  Thinking of a word.  Ryhmes with Flackout.

Saints +7.5 over GREEN BAY
Man New Orleans is having a rough go without the former boy wonder coach Sean Payton.  Remind me again why they didn't give Spags the interim title, knowing full well Vitt would be suspended asswell?  Anyway Green Bay has not impressed thus far so 7.5 to a desperate team makes no sense to me.

Skins +3 over BUCS
Giants +2 over PHILLY
Bears +3.5 over DALLAS
It's the NFC East 3 team parlay! 

Back in the day I'd tease this combo.  Teasing is the act of taking points and adding them to the spread.  So a three team teaser allows you to add 10 points to each number and since they are all getting points it would look like this - Skins +13, Giants +12, Bears +13.5.  How do you feel about that.  Now the trick is the VIG is higher and you have to win all three.  With a parlay you get more bang for your buck, especially if you think all these teams will win forego the spreads and bet the moneyline.  They have to win but the odds are nice if you hit.  I love gambling.

Thursday, September 27, 2012

Juan Kippur

The "NFL and Union Refs reach a deal" story was the longest "breaking" news story in awhile it seemed. Either way, I'm glad they reached a deal, they just better have their best staff on for tonight's game. They should have continued to negotiate and struck a deal Friday. That way their first games are all on at once (until the Sunday nighter) and they get a few games out of the way. If they botch a call tonight, they will be under a temscope tomorrow.

I hope today is Thursday, because I'm posting.

My alarm goes off at 5:18 each morning. I can hit snooze up to three times and be ready to go in 15 minutes without being late. I enjoy having a 10 minute commute.

cmjug is going out of town this weekend, jug is a free agent, whiskey will be involved. Really I'll just be watching football and hanging out with my brothers and friends over the weekend. Good times!

stingray photo bomb

The White Sox are just depressing right now.


Wednesday, September 26, 2012


If humans (r)evolved from monkeys, how come there are still monkeys?  Are those the retarded ones that never (r)evolved?  It's not like you see other animals that have "evolved" and the old version is still around.  Just sayin

Still think the Joe Mays hit shouldn't warrant a game suspension, but man that was viscious...lot of respect for Matt Schaub for standing in on that one.

We're looking at having our basement finished.  Blue has made certain that he's going to have a wetbar and a mini-kegorator.  You better beleeb dat.  It's going to be as "man cave" as I can make it, we'll see.

Baseball season is still going, orioles are good at overtime.

There needs to be more clu haywood types in baseball, or really any of those types.

I always think it's funny when you login to the xbox live and they show all the cancelled NHL games..not sure why that's funny, but maybe because I don't really care for Hockey.

new bossman expects blue to actually work sometimes...he doesn't get it.

cmblue felt like it was necessary to buy the girls "halloween" oreos...they don't care that the oreos are orange in the middle, what a crock.

my kids told me I have to dress up as spiderman for halloween this year.  Maybe I will.

Monday, September 24, 2012

I don't feel like posting anything

Seriously.  Football this and football that, I feel like crap.  Might be getting sick, really dragging ass.  I feel like I might try to sleep for a good ten hours tonight.  Sorry this is the garbage you get today.  Maybe I'll come up with something, but that's unlikely.


Friday, September 21, 2012

El Padrino's Weekly Picks, 50% of the time I'm right every time

Disappointing 7-7 last week, not what you guys expect out of me.  Overall 13-17 but I will do better still getting my bearings adjusted.

St. Louis +7 over DA BEARS
Jay Cutler has been sacked more than 6 times in a game 5 times since being traded for.  They've never really addressed the offensive line and I cannot imagine why that is.  Gregg Williams son is on this Fisher staff and I am certain they will kick up a defensive game plan that will center around pressure.  I see the Rams hanging around but ultimately lose.  Taking the TD.

BROWNS +3 over Bills
Haven't really figured out a few teams yet.  Both of these teams are two of them.  The Bills could be one of those classic home/road splits teams this betting season while the Browns cannot be trusted to show up every week.  Trent Richardson looked very good, ran with authority and blocked well when he needed to.  Weeden played much better.  Fitzpatrick and the Bills on the road  have been 1-6-1 ATS so I'm going to take the home dog here.

Tampa +7 over DALLAS
Vegas will figure out shortly that this Buccaneers team will cover TD spreads.  Keep em coming Vegas.  Schiano is like Tony Soprano right now to his crew.  They will run through a wall for this guy.  And it looks like the old QB coach for the Giants is having some early success as offensive coordinator there.  Home opener for the boys.  Good test for the young bucs.

Lions -3.5 over TITANS
Tennessee looking like they might have the #1 pick in next April's draft.  They look pretty awful in all 3 phases.  And CJK2 looks done which I cannot even believe.  It's either that or his offensive line is seriously fucking damaged.  Barry Sanders ran behind terrible o-lines for years though so maybe he is done.  Or just no interested.  I don't know.  I'm not a pshychiatrist.

COLTS -3 over Jax
Give me the Colts at home against division foes all day.  Luck is undefeated at home you guys.  Media talk.
AJA Luck was better than Gabbert last year while in Stanford.  Speaking of Stanford this David Shaw can coach.

Jets -3 over MIAMI
Rex Ryan is a complete buffoon but god damn he can coach him some defense.  Going to be a long day for the rookie.  I don't even think they should play Revis, they don't even need him.  The shittiest receiving corp in the NFL.  Cromo and the Boise St. kid can cover them just fine.  You don't want to risk Revis getting another concussion at this point because his next one requires him to be out a month I think.

Niners -7 over VIKES
I tried to think of a number I wouldn't take the Niners with and I couldn't come up with one that I felt comfortable with.  I am deathly afraid of this team.  I cringe a bit when they go for a hit, it's like I feel it or something.

Cheifs +9 over SAINTS
I think the Saints will win but not sure they will win easily.  They've been quite a mess the past few games and I thought at the least the defense would be improved but that hasn't clicked yet.  Spag's '07 Giants d-squad gave up a ton of points in the first three games also then leveled off and starting shutting niggas down so maybe he needs a few weeks of live action to work with.

SKINS -3.5 over Bengals
Still don't know what to make of the Bengals or RGIII.  Still a very conservative game plan from the Shanny's and I'm not 100% sure the Bengals will suck this year.  I think they will just not 100% sure just yet.  Either way for this one I gotta ride the home opener for Bob Griffin.

ARIZONA +4 over Philly
I don't get it either but I need to ride it.  Eagles have been pretty lucky to escape their first two games with a win.  Whatever going on in the desert is either an early season fluke or the real thing.  Even if it's an early season fluke the season is still early enough to take some home dog points.

CHARGERS +3 over Falcons
Thought the Falcons played pretty shitty Monday night despite getting the win.  Chargers so far have avoided the mistakes they've made almost every year out of the gate.  They are running the ball pretty well too, even with no names.  I feel like it will collapse at some point but I'm not seeing it yet.  If the Falcons played a complete game like they did in week one I'd probably be on them for this one.

Houston -2 over DENVER
Remember when Peyton was coming off that knee injury or surgery a few years ago and the Colts stumbled a bit out of the gate.  And he struggled, up until about week 6?  Wanna say they went like 10-6 that year but started like 2-3 or something like that.  Completely different injury but similar type circumstances.  And yes he's lost zip and floats TD's now instead of spiraling them.  But I don't buy in to the fact that he is done, as in not going to improve.  I think he'll be fine.  I think he'll own the second half of this year and be the story of the NFL again.  For now though him and his team will lose to the better teams.  I know Manning is like 16-2 against the Texans but that was with the Colts.  This is a different team, year, game.  Texans are arguably the top team in the AFC.  In the discussion for top three at the very least. 

Steelers -4 over OAKLAND
Whenever these two teams play I think of the 70's even though I wasn't around then it just reminds me of that era of football.  Noll.  Davis.  Franco.  Stabler.  Now since the Raiders have been pretty much been a non-factor in the AFC since the Gruden Super Bowl year it doesn't remind me of anything quite that special.  Looks like the Raiders will suck pretty hard this year, again, despite having a damn good running back.

RAVENS -3 over New England
Pats have always had trouble with this team.  Brady in paticular.  Baltimore wants this game pretty badly maybe it will give them some type of closure from the AFC championship game.  For the life of me I can't figure out why Ray Rice didn't get more touches in that Philly game.  I have a feeling he'll have a big time game Sunday night. 

SEATTLE +3.5 over Green Bay
I ain't fucking with Seattle at home on Monday night.  Not me.  Not this guy.  Remember the Hasselback playoff game vs. Green Bay when he said after winning the toss..... We want the ball and we will score.  That was funny.  Anyway Seattle is 5-0 in their last 5 home Monday Nighters.  I wonder why.

Thursday, September 20, 2012


Space Shuttle Endeavor came through Houston yesterday on its final ferry flight on its way to LA, and spent the night here at Ellington Field. A group of us went up on a 50 foot tower along the flight line yesterday to watch it circle the area and land. We also got to see it take off this morning. It was pretty suite. I would post some pics, but I don't see the option on here and I don't have the time to figure it out this morning, so I'll do it later.


Wednesday, September 19, 2012

So much fun in the LBC

Travel time is so much fun.  Fuck United Airlines. For our trip back, they bumped us off our original flight, for no reason other than they oversold the flight.  Also, supposedly they sent me an email about it like 2 months ago.  That email never arrived.  So we showed up at the airport like 4 hours to early, which is fun with a 3 year old and a 5 year old.  Then when nobody at United Airlines could tell me why they had switched our flight, i had to give up fighting with them. That would have been well and good, except that the flight we got switched to ended up having a mechanical problem, and got cancelled.  So we were stuck in podunk Mississippi where they have a total of like 5 flights a day on planes that carry about 40 people total.  Basically the United people told me I was going to have to wait 3 days to get the family out of Mississippi.  Fuck that.  So because of their innocent little change they fucked me over big time.  We ended up driving over to New Orleans and spending the night to take a direct flight out of there the next morning.  Of course I had to suggest that to United because they were too fucking stupid to think of it themselves.   I hate United Airlines with a passion right now.

Schiano is a gangsta...he don't give a fuck

NHL is locked out?  who knew

Tirico made a great point on the monday night broadcast about the replacement refs...they aren't even the next best to the NFL refs.  Those guys are still working the SEC and major college football.  The backjudge for the game was refereeing a 7th grade football game in Oklahoma on Thursday (ns).  I'm not saying they're doing a horrible job.  They're doing the best they can. I blame the commish and the greedy ass NFL.  Maybe they should quit worrying about bounties and shit and worry about the product on the field.  There is going to be a major ass fight by week 4 becuase nobody respects these refs, and the players/coaches are pushing them like they're a bunch of pussies. (which they are)

I have yet to miss a game in any pickem league that i'm in.  That's because i'm anti-pick'em this year

Romney says that 47% of the american people don't pay income tax...i find that to be a little bit overreaching.  Also that of those 47%, all of them want entitlements.  Well buddy I know a few millionaires who have a lot of deductions and pay no taxes, actually get tax credits, and they don't want any entitlements.  Don't act like only poor people don't pay taxes.

Tuesday, September 18, 2012

cherry blossom

So Atlanta gets 4 turnovers and still has a shot to lose it at the end? Denver took the ball out of Manning's hands after his third pick and still almost won. I wonder when was the last time a coach told Peyton that he's thrown it enough, we're going to run it. In other game news Prater did not get 40 points. He needs to kick some fucking FGs.

TOSU fans are all pissed that Miller doesn't run enough. It's hilarity. Last year they made fun of Michigan because their QB couldn't pass but could run. This year they embrace it. If you bring it up to a tOSU fan they'll say but Miller CAN throw the ball we just don't want him to, denard can't throw, that's the difference. Then I laugh because Miller don't throw so good.

WVU fans are optimistic that they'll have a shot at a national title. I hope so, but we'll see. The offense looks great and the defense looks poopy. Maybe the D will get better.

Meiz is down on Wisconsin but they will still play for the Big 11 title. Not sure who else from that side is eligible and any good at all. IU isn't going to be good.

Kenyon college broke a 25 or something game losing streak a couple weeks ago. That program went downhill from the moment I stepped onto campus. I am a poison. Or maybe its a curse for making me block every fucking play.

Obama was in town. He did not mess up traffic. The anit him commercial about China pisses me off. It shows a graph 8 bricks high and says China manufacturing increased 25% and then grows the graph by 9 more bricks. 9 is not 25% of 8. And it shows a graph for the US and says we lost 500k manufacturing jobs and the graph gets cut in half. So America only has 1M manufacturing jobs? Fucking lame commercial. I hate politicians.

Monday, September 17, 2012

The Lions Suck

I'm beat. The Lions coaching is fucking awful. Put Calvin in the slot, Titus and Nate out wide, and Pettigrew and/or Scheffler on the ends of the line. Their passing strength is up the seams in the middle. I can't be the only one that sees this. Fuck the bum-ass Lions.

I have no gas for this post. I didn't do shit this weekend. I took my sister's auger engine to Tennies Ace in West Bend to get the recoil reassembled so we can boss out & drill lots of holes in the ice this winter. I'm hoping to take some noobs out & add some others to the ice fishing roster this winter. Fuck, I love that shit.

I'm getting amped for Vegas, even though I expect it to be a chilling weekend. Is that possible?

Can't spell Elite without Eli, AMIRITE???

I should have just stayed home today. Here's a video.

El Pad How-To Fishing Video Of The Week

Filleting a Northern Pike Boneless: Comparison.

The 1st one is the most common and generally is more difficult, IMO. It opens you up to being a real shitshow after a day of fishing on the ice and drinking. Mind you, the dude in the 1st video is a HDH fish cleaning boss. I just don't like doing extra work, but you already knew that. The 2nd is just easier and cleaner, but the old-schoolers poo-poo it. Plus, I love me some Ivo Coia. Fuck the old school.

Friday, September 14, 2012


According to Yahoo I was 6-10 last week.  Not exactlt an auspicious start.  But I feel the wind shifting in my favor.

BILLS -3 over Chiefs
As evidenced by the rape job Dirk Koetter pulled off in Arrowhead last week I think the Billies will be able to throw it around a little bit.  Maybe Mario Williams dresses this week?  A year ago, well almost a year and 4 days, Buffalo waltzed into Arrowhead and hung 41 points on this team.  Alot has changed on the sidelines for the Cheifs but most of the same players were party to that ass-whupping.  Bills have lost 10 of 11 games since December of last year.  They haven't won anything since at all this year (including pre-season).  Maybe they are due.

Browns +7 over BENGALS
Like Meiz said, I am not one to start trusting the Bengals at this point.  Remember this is the year in which Marvin Lewis is supposed to suck again.  He is like a black Wayne Fontes only 100 pounds lighter.  I will say this though.  A.J. Green is the truth.  Unlike Brandon Weeden who is false.

COLTS +1.5 over Vikings
Really like the Colts here.  Luck did show some signs of real quarterbacking in Chicago and that was a tough matchup for them.  Peterson can neutralize the Colts ends but how does he even feel?  He was a horse in his first action in a very long time.  He could be missing some burst come Sunday.  You all know I like the home dogs.

Raiders -2.5 over MIAMI
Did you guys actually watch Hard Knocks?  I did because I'm a junkie.  Because after maybe the week when Chad Johnson was akwardly cut it was so fucking boring.  The head coach is like some sort of hologram.  That team is woeful and Tannyhilly is not ready.  Matt Moore should be starting.  You know when I say some shit like that it's dire.  RUN DMC gonna abuse these fish.  Going to be a fish fry.

PATS -13.5 over Arizona
Not a fan of double digit spreads but shit the Pats offense is fucking stupid.  Stupifying.  Wouldn't even blink if I saw this score flash on the bottom line Pats 63, Arizona 10.

Tampa +7.5 over NYG
Look let's be real for a second.  If Prince Akeem doesn't play and the Giants have to get through weeks 2-5 with the likes of a Justin Tryon/Michael Coe platoon they could be staring at a 1-4 ish type nightmare start to the season.  Aaron Ross was considered mediocre and he is 100% better than this combo of shitballs.  Good thing they have enough offense to overcome this cornerback situation.  But Tampa is not a pushover this year they'll hang around.

Baltimore +2.5 over EAGLES
Man this line is confusing.  I thought the most impressive thing about week one was the Ravens offense.  No huddle?  Must be why they hired Jim Caldwell.  Meanwhile in Ohio the Eagles couldn't get out of their own way. 

Saints -2.5 over CAROLINA
Thinking Cam watches the RGIII tape and mimics the plays a little bit right?  Yeah I was thinking that too but then I remembered that Carolina's defense is suspect. 

Houston -7 over JAGUARS
When they have their horses all on the field at the same time they are one of the best teams in the conference let alone in their weak ass division.  Texans roll.

RAMS +3 over Skins
Really liked the way the Rams played football last week.  They lost but they won the turnover battle, they hit people hard and they had their chances.  Couldn't close it.  Young team they will learn got a very good coach.  RGIII is scary good I've said this before but  the game planning by the Shanny's was fantastic.  But now it's on tape.  So I can't see RGIII having the same type of game he had in Motown. 

SEAHAWKS +3 over Dallas
Cowboys showed some nuts last week.  No doubt.  But a place like Seattle is a great equalizer. 

Jets +5.5 over STEELERS
Pittsburgh looks old.  All over.  This has a 10-6 game written all over it.  I'm taking purnts*.

Titans +6 over CHARGERS
Like San Diego to win but think it will be a pain in the ass.  McFadden had his way with that Charger front I'm wondering if this is the game CJ2K wakes up.

49ERS -7 over Detroit
This defense could end up being a top 5 all time type defense.  I know it's early man but this unit is fucking scary ok.  Bowman might even be better than Willis and Willis is fucking incredible.  I think I read something like they start 7 first round picks.  They have immense talent and for some reason Alex Smith keps winning football games. 

Denver +3 over FALCONS
Let's see how well the Falcons play against a team that dresses. 

Thursday, September 13, 2012


I got back on centsports the other night. I know its called something else now, but its still centsports to me dammit! I've been shot down on bodog for the time being, so centsports it is. That's for the better though, I'm in 4 fantasy leagues (3 of which I really care about). Since I can't join anymore leagues, maybe I'll take up ice fishing or something. I've never been in a big money suicide league before, so I find myself spending more time analyzing that. I don't think I'll win it, but it never hurts to try. I have my pick for this week narrowed down to either the Bengals, Pats, or Giants. I'm leaning Bengals right now, but we'll see. White Sox just can't win in their division it seems. They've been leading their division for most of the year which isn't bad for a team that was picked to finish in the bottom half of their division. They can't seem to bear the Royals or Tigers. They'll have to win their division to make the playoffs, and if they do, I don't expect much out of them. Their pitching has fallen off some. They did release their 2013 schedule and will be in Houston for a 4 game series over the weekend of June 15...suite! The Americana Music Awards were on last night. I briefly considered doing a runny* diary of it for my post today, but decided against it. You're welcome. Space Shuttle Endeavor is making one last stop in Atl...err...Houston next Monday. It'll be flying around some spots in Houston before landing here at Ellington Field for an over night stay. I believe its final destination is California. I'm going to come out here and take some pics. Maybe I'll post them next week if I think about it. I'm trying to get into politics and the election and all that stuff, but I just can't. Its too irritating. I'll stick with sports talk radio. That's all I have for today. GO!

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

live from the beach

yesterday was september 11th.  today is september 12th...never forget that.

broncos/falcons bet this week beth?

went deep sea fishing...caught some fish.  Got some sick.  told people "I'm on a BOAT", got a lot of ::blank stares::...also nobody seems to know "THE SEA WAS ANGRY THAT DAY MY FRIENDS"...bunch of idjits here in the south.

i don't have any transfer requests, so meiz can push it to the next offseason thingy on #ncaa13

baseball is still goin on? 

everytime i come to the gulf, i want to buy a place here.  This year is no different.  Then I do the math and decide it's stupid.

So RGIII huh?..remember Ryan Leaf won his first NFL start, and Peyton Manning did not.

I've watched Arkansas lose to ULM about 5 times now.

Idaho plays LSU in Baton Rouge this week.  Get ready for them to shock the world...eteo

rough weekend for wisconsin last weekend.  That's all i'm going to say about that.

US ambassador to Libya has been kilt.  Why do we even have an ambassador to these terrorist countries?

That's enough...never forget.

Tuesday, September 11, 2012

Tuesday stuff

I won the two league I don't care about in Fantasy, but lost the one I do. Also, I picked NO for my suicide pick. I hate suicide pools though so I am glad. Cmtem still has two teams in that pool. She is a big fan of them. In any case, rough week for the $$$ things.

I still think the replacement officials are making roughly the same number of mistakes that the regular ones do. They need some procedural tuneups, especially the main guy who talks to the crowd, but penalty calling wise it seemed about the same.

Pirates won't finish above .500. Bastards. I am going to sell my hat.

What the hell is going on with the Texas Tech basketball coach? His players don't want him back? That's going to be awkward if he comes back.

I had no idea that every thursday would have an NFL game. I don't get the stupid NFL network though and I am not going to a bar on Thursday night to do anything other than play volleyball. That only takes an hour and it is a terrible workout. I don't even sweat. Meiz might get more action at horseshoes.

Upset alert for CFB, Florida State, Alabama and Michigan State. If they happen I am a genius. If not then upset alert is akin to thunderstorm warning. Or watch. Whichever means there won't be a thunderstorm.

Weathermen are never right. That still pisses me off.

Traffic guys are never right. That still pissed me off.

I need to go to work. I sleep too much.

Monday, September 10, 2012

NFL Week 1(unrelated)

It's early, but this is shaping up to be a good sports weekend for LOV. As I'm starting this, I'm streaming the Bucs Panthers game, and I really like what I'm seeing out of the Bucs. Doug Martin looks great. He picks a hole, and slams into that fucker with an outstanding burst.

The rat-ass Lions won a game they should have lost. I still hate their playcalling.

The GGGGGGeeee-Men!

Jug and I picked each other's teams to win in our suicide pools. I'm telling you guys, stay away from the Lions. They have 6-10 written all over them. I'll be picking against the Colts until somebody else proves to be worse. Luck scares me because I know he's going to win them a few games.

RGIII, baby! I'm so happy for Skins fans right now. They've earned it.

Packers fans are by FAR the worst in the NFL. They largely don't know shit about football. I cannot stand them. And guys, please do not force your kids to wear the logos of your teams until they can comprehend what you're doing to them. I like that one of Blue's girls knows what's going on as far as the Broncos go. Seriously though, this kind of shit disgusts me.

You fucking loser, you're not bonding with a 1 year old over wearing matching clothes.

And Jermichael Finley? He's one of THE best tight ends in the NFL, and Packers fans hate him, and want him off the team. I'm dead fucking serious. Most Packers fans are a split second away from calling him a dumb n----- at all times. Seriously. You can hear it in their voices and see it in their faces. Only in Wisconsin do people get mad and corner you and expect you to give reasons for not liking the Packers. Worst football fans on earth. I hate the Packers because of their fans. No other reason.

Now that that's out of the way, the few of you that still bother to do literally anything with twitter should follow @sbnationgif . They do a terrific job over there.

Shitballs. My $FNFL matchup would be out of reach if I had just stuck with the Jets D instead of dropping them & going with a -3 output from that "improved" Bills D against the Jets O that can't score. I have 139 vs this week's MNF All-Stars & their 88.2 so far.

Oktoberfest was fun on Saturday night. Hanging out with folks I know from various internet outlets. There are 2 couples that are usually a bit awkward, but I like 'em though. My guy Kyle & his wife absolutely don't drink beer and still came to Oktoberfest. He ordered a Hofbrau Hefeweizen and the numb nut poured him some super dark shit. Luckily, my friend Nicole is a boisterous fuck like me and snatched his liter stein and took that shit back. Lots of incoherent singing and drinking ensued. Also being made fun of for having a camera and not a smartphone. I'd be all they way down with a smartphone if I wasn't required to buy a data plan. ANYWHO, they sell sausages that are similar to summer sausage via random cart vendors. I had a half of one. It was pretty fucking good. The German type folks are big on putting hearty snacks in your belly because you're drinking beer. I like that. The 1st band of the night was a 40 piece brass band. They were pretty awesome, and once in a while they'd get up on the tables and play Gloria for tips. The wimminladies would get up & put dollar bills in their hose. And the conga lines! Long, snaking, seemingly never-ending conga lines! I had a ball. Here's like, 2 pictures.

Good times.

I couldn't come up with a good El Pad how-to video, so here's Clint Eastwood for Tem. Watch the video and listen to the song, you hillbilly. It's a cartoon, so you should like it.

Friday, September 07, 2012

VMA Running Diary brought to you by Vagisil Clear Gel

YOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO live from the El Papartment located in the capital of the world Brooklyn, NEEEWW YOOOORKK I bring to you the official running diary of the MTV Video Music Awards......

8:00 - Rihanna time.  Yes please I will be your sex slave.

8:02 -Lots of suggestive dancing I wonder what message she is trying to convey here.


8:05 - She better hope Chris Brown isnt in that crowd.  Fuck around and get knocked out while trying to open up the VMA's

8:07 - HAHAHAHAHA midget secret service. HAHHAHAHAHA that is hilarity.

8:10 - I am taller than Kevin Hart.

8:10 - Frank Ocean is gay.  Yup.  Gay.  Real Gay.  Like Dick.

8:12 - Katy Perry looking fine. Knockers are not knocking though.

8:14 - Pop is short for popular.  Thank you Katy.

8:15 - Maroon 5 is pop.  HAHAA Another reason to hate them.

8:16 - Oh no.  Not this shit.  Fuck I should have saw this coming.  A bunch of bald twats just won best pop.  One Direction.  Gonna be a long night of these lil twats accepting awards.

8:17 - Oh and they are British apparentely. And Simon Cowell shits gold bricks.

8:19 - Im voting for Call Me Maybe.

8:24 - Gross Lady Gaga has a perfume.  Probably smells like hot garbage.

8:25 - Speaking of hot garbage Miley Cyrus!

8:26 - Pink has some weird? qualities to her but to be honest Im kind of a fan.  Talented fucking chick.  Fat ass too.

8:27 - Damn you can bring babies to the VMA's.  They just cut to baby SWIZZ beatz.

8:29 - Pink is putting her vagina in the crowd now.  She seems fun.

8:30 - Taylor Swift looks like a Bratz doll.

8:30 - only Blue will get that joke

8:31 - M.I.A is the shit

8:32 - fuck Bieber is nominated AND Chris Brown.....this is like a JETS/Eagles super bowl or something.

8:33 - Punk ass Chris Brown is rocking white hair.

8:52 - Had to put BGEP tp sleep. 

8:53- and now drake and Lil wayne is on the stage listening to music during his acceptance speech

8:53 - Nicky Minaj has the fattest ass on the planet earf

8:55 - Jerz shore is ending,  Suite.

8:57 - This is getting boring, with all the commercials and all.

8:58 - Taking a break, One Gay Ass Direction is coming on live now.

9:03 - and back who is this fat mess?  Adele's baby sister or something

9:04 - Starships were meant to fly.  Again, comically huge ass.

Gonna eat with cmep and then hit up work.  Yeah it's like that.

Take Savannah St plus 70.5 over FSU saturday.

Thursday, September 06, 2012

I hate the Cowboys

I hate to miss Summit III...who all is officially going? Is it just mize and tem? When is tp going to Austin? We never made to to Salt Lick during Summit II, but cmjug and I went there a few months after. I don't like the term "overrated"...the place was cool, the BBQ was solid, but I wouldn't plan to go there again. I've heard good things about Cooper's BBQ in Austin. Bikini's was a decent place to watch sports, but if you want to watch a UFC event I suggest leaving Bikini's and walking about 2 miles to a place called Third Base. There are a ton of live music venues in Austin, and its not just country. They also have western...s. Where are you staying while you're there? I don't like it when the Cowboys win because every Cowboys fan has to tell you about it either on Facebook or wherever. I'm kind of glad we don't have a Cowboys fan on LOV. I have to go to a meeting... Go!

Wednesday, September 05, 2012

AFC Preview spectacular


This is the bullshit division of football.  You have the Patriots and a bunch of stupid morons.

Patriots - (13-3)  Of course they win the division, who is going to challenge them?  Their defense is awful and the fact that they get to coast for 8 games a year means they typically aren't ready for the playoffs, but whatever.  This season will be no different.  They don't have the law firm, they don't have deion branch, but they have the two best TEs in football, and a slightly pissed off welker....and Brady.

Bills - (7-9) Fitzmagic sucks.  Dude got paid after like 5 good games.  He and Matt Cassell can sit around and talk about how great it is to be a QB.  They added a lot of pieces in the off season, but Mario Williams seems to never stay healthy and not sure how he'll enjoy the cold weather.  Their D-Line is stout though, and I like Stevie and Freddy.  If they won 9 games i wouldn't be surprised

Dolphins - (6-10) Matt Moore will start at least 4 games this season.  Tannehill doesn't even know what division the teams are in.  Mike Sherman is back in the NFL, but has no weapons beyond Reggie.  Their defense sucks, their offense will be worse.  Joe Philbin should have tried to replace his cousin Regis and sit next to Kelly Ripa, instead of letting Mike Strahan get the gig.  Now his son is dead (too soon?) and he has a shitty team.  Why isn't this team in the South?  They'd have a natural rivalry with the Jags and that would be good for football.

Jets - (5-11) Rex Ryan will stick with Sanchez, until they are 1-8, then Tebow will finish up the season 4-3, and the JETS will trade Sanchez in the offseason.  As someone who saw the circus that is Tebow first hand last year, it will be difficult for Sanchez not to feel the pressure.  Scotty Mcknight is dating that chick from Heroes that's on that new country show that Tem will watch "Nashville" or something.  Hayden Pantysomething.  Not sure how that is relevant, but he went to CU and is best friends with Sanchez, but i'm not sure if he even made the team this year.


Ravens - (11-5) Flacco is almost there.  They'll miss Suggs for sure, and Ed Reed is getting older, but I think the division is slipping a little this year which opens the door up.  They have the best RB on the planet and a solid OL.  Good core of WR and the defense is still dependable.  There isn't really anything that you shouldn't like about this team, other than Flacco.

Steelers - (9-7) I bet that by week 5 there's a mutiny against Todd Haley.  The Steelers don't have a RB that is healthy and they want to move back to ground and pound football.  Haley was really dynamic as the OC in Arizona, so lets see how his fiery demeanor works with Rapelsberger.  The defense is getting older, Mike Wallace sat out the entire preseason (probably pissed about not being on 60 minutes anymore) so will probably pull a hamstring in week 1.  Their OL is awful, and Ben will have some struggles with the new offense.

Browns - (8-8) I don't know why.  Maybe it's because I believe in Weeden.  Maybe Trent Richardson will ever get healthy, maybe just because.  I don't know anything about this team other than their best player just got suspended for 4 games for violating the substance abuse policy.  Oh, Joe Thomas is their best player?  well, some guy that isn't an OL got suspended.

Cincy - (6-10) I don't believe in the red headed douchebag.  I do believe in AJ green.  I don't believe in Benjarvus Green-Ellis.  Their defense will be OK, but like always, they've never made the playoffs in back to back seasons, and it doesn't start this year.  The marvin hot seat watch starts about week 8.


What a shitty division.  Fuck the AFC and all their shitty teams/divisions.

Houston - (11-5) Arian Foster stays healthy.  Andre Johnson stays healthy.  Matt Schuab stays healthy.  If all this happens, they easily win 11 games.  Shit they won a playoff game with their 3rd string QB last year, didn't they? Or did they lose, I don't remember.  Either way, they're pretty good.  Kubiak is a solid coach.

Indy - (8-8)  Does this mean that I believe in Andrew Luck?  I guess it does because that's about the only shit they have on this team.

Tennessee - (7-9)  Jake Locker does his best Tebow impersonation.  They'll run some spread option.  They'll get CJ2k about 1,700 yards.  But in the end Locker isn't good enough to win enough this season.  I like them next year.

Jacksonville - (2-14)  Hello Matt Barkley.  Move the team to LA.  Have MJD and Barkley open up next season at the Coliseum.  This team is awful.  MJD gets hurt early and never gets on track this season.


Another shit-hole division.

Broncos - (11-5)  They have a tough schedule.  But they have the best defense in the division.  They have the best QB in the division.  They have the best WR group in the division.  If Manning can get this team ahead by 10+ points early, look out because Dumervil and Miller coming off the edge is an awesome sight, and the guy they drafted, Wolfe, is a stud in the making as a hybrid DT/DE.  They're trying to build a d-line like the Giants and are about 50% of the way there.  They still have Champ, but the safeties suck, and their linebackers suck (excluding Von Miller).  So they have holes, but Peyton can fix all that.

Chiefs - (9-7)  They get Jamaal Charles back, which is nice.  They signed Peyton Hillis, which is nice. They get that TE back who is like Maeuaku or something, which is nice.  They have Matt Cassell back...that's where it all goes wrong.  He sucks.  Romeo Crennel gets this team to play for him.  They have a solid defense, and Tamba Hali is a stud OLB.  They lost 2 good guys in the secondary though, and they suck.

Chargers - (8-8) Philip Rivers should have a good season.  I'm guessing that Gates stays healthy, but Mathews does not.  The defense isn't any good anymore.  Honestly without Rivers, they win maybe 2 games.

Raiders - (4-12) If McFadden stays healthy, they maybe win 7 games.  Dennis Allen is in over his head here.  He's got a QB that is way over the hill, but has some decent weapons to throw to. The defense is OK.  I'd like to think they're in rebuilding mode, but i'm not even sure what their plan is.  They didn't have a 1st round pick this year, and they won't next year either. 

Wild Cards - Steelers and Chiefs

1st round - Broncos over Chiefs  
                    Ravens over Steelers
2nd round - Broncos over Texans
                     Ravens over Patriots
AFC Champs - Ravens over Broncos

I don't remember who El Padrino had winning the NFC, but they'll beat the Ravens in the Super Bowl ™

Tuesday, September 04, 2012

Another Holiday Gone By

Another Holiday, another day off. It was a good Holiday weekend here. WVU won, tOSU won, I didn't have to go to Bed Bath and Beyond. Why yes, it was a solid weekend. Also, it rained so I couldn't mow the grass. I'll have to do that today though. Should be fun.

Meiz says he is going to Vegas. I assume that means he boat* tix. If he posts when his flights are I will get a ticket as well and a hotel room at Bills or wherever we are staying. I think my buddy from work goes to Bills a lot. I'll ask him if he gets discounts.

I believe people are defined by how they learn from mistakes. Smart people seem to learn from them and rarely make the same ones twice. Other people don't. Take my cousins for instance. Both are baby daddies and are jobless. They have gotten fired from every job they have had and get in trouble with drugs a lot. They never learn. Not smart. They get fired for the same shit too. Showing up late, not listening to their boss and not doing things they don't want to do. I guess it is part being lazy, which far too many people, including myself, are. But it is part not learning. They act surprised when they get fired again for not doing what the boss told them to do. They are dumb.

Top 25 recaps

Bama looked awesome
USC looked good
LSU and OK looked like they needed a bit of work
Florida St and OK St. didn't play anyone so I can't judge them
WVU has 0 defense
tOSU will struggle against good teams
MICH looked bad
other teams I didn't pay much attention to

If your birthday is on a holiday or a weekend you don't get a facebook message from me. Deal with it.

I have today off. I am going to play video games, do laundry and mow the grass. And wait for a delivery from Fed Ex that will be here between 9am and 7pm.

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"

"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem

"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug

"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino

"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H

"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino

"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino