Wednesday, August 29, 2012

incoherent thoughts

For those of you expecting an AFC preview today...well you have another week to wait.

It's coming next wednesday. Next wednesday is also the opening day for the NFL, so perfect timing.

Andy Roddick made it to the 2nd round of the US open. That's what men's tennis has come to in the US, that advancing to the 2nd round is a headline story.

Nats are gonna shut down Strasburg...or at least that's what they keep saying. That's ok, i'm sure they'll have plenty of chances at a World Series over the next ten years, just ask the Mets.

Sounds like Tyler spent some time one evening painting over a billboard. Good work Tyler.

I'd like to have some fine chocolate this morning, instead i'm eating an english muffin. Fucking brits and their weird ass food. This tastes nothing like a muffin. When i get a muffin, i want an american muffin. There is another reason why the USA kicks all of the world's ass, we have the best muffins. You never even hear about the chinese muffin. French muffins are like what a croissant, those are good, but you can't be taken seriously with a croissant. German muffins have hairy armpits, and Chinese muffins have...whatever a stereotype for crappy chinese things are...maybe they have lead in them, i don't know.

Andy Roddick does have a fine ass wife. I guess if I was him, i'd probably suck at tennis too, because i'd be too busy doing it all the time.

Two new employees starting for me tomorrow. One, I already hate, and the other is a gay guy...so go figure. But that means I won't have much time, or maybe i'll have more time to ridicule and something else.

EDIT

Learn how to fillet a fish boneless, dammit. It's easy.




180 comments:

Beth said...

Hiring a gay guy is dangerous, if you have to fire him later he'll scream (ok, whine and pout) about discrimination.

(I can't decide if I mean the above as S or NS.)

Blue said...

i already have a gay guy who works for me, so they'll be buddies

Mize said...

"i already have a gay guy who works for me, so they'll be buddies"

Not necessarily

Beth said...

Butt buddies?

Blue said...

maybe they know each other from the bath houses and bars

Keef said...

Maybe I know them


/mize

Blue said...

I get laid all the time, with real women, I just don't brag about it.


/mize

tem said...

for shits and giggles i put keith's team into the football guys rate your team thing. it said

"The quarterback position looks good, and we like your overall strength at the tradionally less important positions as well. Despite not being strong at running back and receiver, we think this team should be among the top teams in the league.

Nevertheless, we feel compelled to mention that the RB and WR positions make us a bit nervious and are likely to require some attention throughout the year. We'd feel much better if we knew you were committed to scooping up 2012's breakout players at RB and WR. Getting one or more of these would take this team to the next level.

Players we particularly like on this team include Jacquizz Rodgers, Davone Bess, Ryan Williams, and Nate Washington. We have all these guys ranked ahead of where they are typically being drafted.

Bottom line:
•With great inseason management, we think you have about a 75 percent chance of making the playoffs.
•With good inseason management, we think you have about a 65 percent chance of making the playoffs.
•With average inseason management, we think you have a 50 percent chance of making the playoffs."

Tyler said...

Tem's comment last night: "The house we got was out of our price range. Offered an affordable for us number and they countered with $5k more than I thought we could spend. In anycase we boat the house for $5k more than our limit."

The problem is, since this is going to be a 2nd property, my realtor said the banks want 20% down for sure. We could make a full offer on that house, but would have to have the seller pay all closing costs (which would probably never get accepted) and even then, we'd have to scrounge up an additional $2500 somehow and then we'd be dead broke. Oh and paying for the inspection, I don't know how we'd do that. So that's the situation, it's more about the downpayment than the monthly payment. And the kitchen in that particular house would have to be completely redone at some point.

Tyler said...

So we're looking at lower priced houses.

Tyler said...

But apparently housing prices are supposed to go up in the next 3-5 so we need to do this now.

Blue said...

3-5 days?

Tyler said...

"We'd feel much better if we knew you were committed to scooping up 2012's breakout players at RB and WR."

So isn't this on everyone's agenda on every fantasy team for every sport? And if you know who the breakout players are every time, you'd have a 100% chance of making the playoffs.

Tyler said...

3-5 months Blue.

tem said...

"my realtor said the banks want 20% down for sure"

we got away with 15% down. we had to get a 2nd mortgage though. 1st bank loaned 80% and 2nd bank loaned 5% as a line of credit secured by a second mortgage.

Tyler said...

Yeah, I'm trying to avoid a 2nd mortgage (which would be a 3rd mortgage) or PMI.

tem said...

we avoided PMI in our scenario. because 1st bank only loaned 80% it was not a PMI situation.

i don't PMI applies to the line of credit.

Blue said...

pmi is fucking gay

tem said...

you should hire pmi then

tem said...

you seem to surround yourself with those of the homosexual persuasion.

Blue said...

it's so i don't get sexual harassment lawsuits


i hire gay guys and chicks with big tits

Beth said...

You should hire a gay guy with big tits.

tem said...

meiz won't relocate

tem said...

too soon?

tem said...

stamps seem like they would be easy to forge.

kod said...

Man, got the 11th spot in the fantasy draft this week


I like my team on the whole, but I almost certainly bungled my first pick at 11


Ryan Matthews; eh, I wanted a RB at either that spot or #14, but that was a stretch, then I see he may be out until week 3; doh

kod said...

but....I still like my team better than 3/4ths of the league


and it's nice to have a QB that isn't Matt Ryan (stay healthy Stafford)

Blue said...

should have drafted rodgers

Mize said...

I stayed away from Stafford. He freaks me out a lot.

tem said...

stafford has downs power

Keef said...

The average daily high summer temperature is 115 degrees F in Kuwait.

tem said...

its a dry heat though

Keef said...

of course

Keef said...

I played Michigan last night when I got home from HD. I KOd Denard with a concussion and KOd the backup QB with a sprained shoulder

Keef said...

So I was able to KO the Purdue QB, Illinois QB, and Michigan QB this season.
Sorta makes up for losing to Cal & Penn State

Keef said...

Jesus, H is the angriest fucking dude I've ever known

kod said...

"the creators of madden needs to b slapped for putting an imposter pic in place of me that's not me for the last time I don't look like that," he tweeted. "I been in the nfl going on 6 years and y'all still hav another mans face for my pic on madden i hate y'all hate is very strong but I do."


ahahahaha; he's taking this a bit too hard

kod said...

"should have drafted rodgers"


I had him #1 on my draft board (ns, and he went #4)


"I stayed away from Stafford. He freaks me out a lot."

Rodgers and Brady were picked before #11 (I would have taken either). Could have gotten Drew B...but

Since I had #14, I waited, Drew was taken (damn) and then I had Stafford or Newton as QB options.

Stafford makes me nervous, but Newton IMO is going to be a pretty major disappointment this year fantasy-wise

El Padrino said...

fire the gay guy

done and done

El Padrino said...

you have enough women in that office

kod said...

and after suffering with Matt Ryan and Fitzie as my qbs last year, I wasn't going to try to go with a second-tier QB again

Keef said...

Should of* taken Brees

El Padrino said...

keef your team sucks ass

just sayin

wadr

El Padrino said...

here is my team, i had the #1 pick if you recall

Rivers
B. Marsh
Greg Jennings
Rice
Hillis
Vern Davis
Reggie Wayne
Chicago D
Gould

Bench:
Cutler
Blount
Coby Fleener
Doug Baldwin
Jon Dwyer
Santana Moss (LOL)

El Padrino said...

that's 4 200+ point scorers in the starting lineup two of them should score 350 or so

Keef said...

for shits and giggles i put keith's team into the football guys rate your team thing.


Interesting.

El Padrino said...

jimmy graham wnet 6th

i lost my shit on the message boards

Keef said...

keef your team sucks ass

just sayin

wadr



I'll consider the source

El Padrino said...

"i hire gay guys and chicks with big tits"

so you are the only one with a shot?

BRILLIANT!

Keef said...

Wow, Hillis as a starting RB. Congrats. CHAMPYUNSHIP!

Keef said...

Congrats on having a backup TE. You'll need him when Vern sucks donkey dick again

El Padrino said...

"Wow, Hillis as a starting RB. Congrats. CHAMPYUNSHIP!"

Thanks. TD vulture

El Padrino said...

"Congrats on having a backup TE."

that's called a value pick, plus i can play a TE at flex if they both are productive and one of the wr's struggle or what have you

DEPTH

El Padrino said...

i pick 9th tonight so we'll see what comes down the pipe

Keef said...

that's 4 200+ point scorers in the starting lineup two of them should score 350 or so



Rivers, Rice, Jennings, who else?

El Padrino said...


"Rivers, Rice, Jennings, who else?"

B Marsh who put up great numbers for having shit bags throw the ball to him the past 3 years

now he's got a real qb

Keef said...

Ah, projecting

El Padrino said...

no he put up 222 points last year

read a book

Mize said...

Post amended to appease el poopfacedrino

Mize said...

"Blount
Coby Fleener
Doug Baldwin
Jon Dwyer
Santana Moss"


MURDERER'S ROW!

kod said...

my secondary money league team (12 teams) is:

Matthews
Stafford
Jennings
Welker
Miles Austin
Jermichael Finley
Deangelo Williams or Pierre Thomas (dislike)
Janikowsky (I had to take him in the 6th round b/c in this league they give WAY too many points to kickers,...and I felt I needed either him or Akers) and
NYG D

Bench is

Cutler
Nate Washington
Greg Little
Dustin Keller
and either Williams or Thomas


Keef said...

LP
How about a wager? I'll finish higher in my league than you'll finish in your league

Mize said...

"keef your team sucks ass"


Everybody's team sucks. EXCEPT for the guy who's STARTING a backup RB.

Got it.

Mize said...

Oh shit. LP's starting Reggie Wayne, too???

LOLOLOLOLOLOL

tem said...

el pad's team (note I don't know his exact scroing so it might be a little off)

"Your starting lineup is respectable, but the lack of depth is a serious problem. If you're lucky enough to avoid the injury bug, you might be OK. But that's a tough thing to have to count on.

To make this team into a serious contender, you are going to need to be extremely active in trades and on the waiver wire. You esentially need to turn over significant parts of this roster. Last year running backs like Michael Bush, Darren Sproles, and Fred Jackson all could be had dirt cheap at the draft. Additionally, wide receivers like Victor Cruz and Laurent Robinson were available after a lot of the drafts. Quarterbacks like Cam Newton last season, Michael Vick in 2010, Brett Favre in 2009, Matt Cassel in 2008, and Derek Anderson in 2007 could all be had cheap just after draft time. You are likely going to need to land many of this year's top waiver plays to make any significant noise, so pay close attention to increased workloads, targets, injuries, etc.

Players we particularly like on this team include Brandon Marshall and Jay Cutler. We have both these guys ranked ahead of where they are typically being drafted.

Bottom line:
•With great inseason management, we think you have about a 70 percent chance of making the playoffs.
•With good inseason management, we think you have about a 55 percent chance of making the playoffs.
•With average inseason management, we think you have a 35 percent chance of making the playoffs."

tem said...

same scoring note for keith's.

i did ppr for both. what i don't know is defense scoring and if you get bonuses for being over 100 yards rushing, recieving, etc.

tem said...

those were both david dodds reviews. apparently you can get 3 other guys as well.

Keef said...

tem
Where are you getting that info from? Our league has a little different scoring. We have bonus pts for over 300 yards for QB, 100 yards for WR/RB. We also get .1 per yard, and .1 per return yard for D/ST

Mize said...

Team Mize on the football guys thing:

QB: Tom Brady, Ben Roethlisberger
RB: Doug Martin, Reggie Bush, Donald Brown, Toby Gerhart
WR: Roddy White, Steve Johnson, Dwayne Bowe, Jeremy Maclin, Mike Williams, Randy Moss
TE: Brandon Pettigrew, Dustin Keller
PK: Jason Hanson
TD: New York Jets

Overview:

We'll start by complimenting you on your strength at quarterback and receiver. As you know, it's very difficult in a competitive league to assemble a team that is strong at QB, RB, and WR, so just about every team will have a weakness. As you probably suspect, we perceive yours to be at running back.

In 2012, that's not an instant fantasy team killer like it might have been five years ago. Your league setup also doesn't mandate running back strength to the extent that many do. So in this particular case, we absolutely think you're strong enough elsewhere to overcome it. You've definitely got a good team here, but we'd feel better if we knew you were committed to keeping an eye out for the 2012 version of 2010's Peyton Hillis or LeGarrette Blount or 2009's Ricky Williams, Jamaal Charles, or Fred Jackson.

Players we particularly like on this team include Steve Johnson, Dustin Keller, Donald Brown, Dwayne Bowe, and Mike Williams. We have all these guys ranked ahead of where they are typically being drafted.
Bottom line:

With great inseason management, we think you have about a 85 percent chance of making the playoffs.
With good inseason management, we think you have about a 80 percent chance of making the playoffs.
With average inseason management, we think you have a 67 percent chance of making the playoffs.

Keef said...

Bottom line:
•With great inseason management, we think you have about a 70 percent chance of making the playoffs.
•With good inseason management, we think you have about a 55 percent chance of making the playoffs.
•With average inseason management, we think you have a 35 percent chance of making the playoffs."



Suckadick, LP

tem said...

footballguys.com

there is a tab labeled free and a thing for rate my team

tem said...


link

tem said...

for a free rating of a team it doesn't seem to be too bad.

tem said...

playoff structure probably is a big wild card. i assumed 6 playoff teams with 14, 15 and 16 as the playoff weeks.

that could be a bad assumption.

Mize said...

In summary, lick my taint, El Pad.

Blue said...

ha, injury bug

Keef said...

playoff structure probably is a big wild card. i assumed 6 playoff teams with 14, 15 and 16 as the playoff weeks.

that could be a bad assumption.



Or a good one

Keef said...

That is a suite link. Thanks. I put our scoring in and my % bumped up about 10%. Not that that means dick

tem said...

suite. el pad should put his scoring in.

Blue said...

no time for that shit

tem said...

yeah, he probably has a quota to meet for sales.

Keef said...

He's off for a while, right? Maybe he's at home trying to figure out if he has wifi

Blue said...

but there are wires going into it

Keef said...

that is a conundrum

kod said...

thanks for the link tem, that's a great site.

They seem to be a bit down on my squad, although not too harsh:


"We'll start by complimenting you on your strength at quarterback and receiver. As you know, it's very difficult in a competitive league to assemble a team that is strong at QB, RB, and WR, so just about every team will have a weakness. As you probably suspect, we perceive yours to be at running back."

-agreed

"Bottom line:

"With great inseason management, we think you have about a 50 percent chance of making the playoffs.
With good inseason management, we think you have about a 35 percent chance of making the playoffs.
With average inseason management, we think you have a 14 percent chance of making the playoffs."

I'd say 75%, 50% and 25%


Keef said...

fucking lawyers

kod said...

I'm #2 on waivers after week 1, so I'm hopeful I may be able to snag a sneaky RB while dropping Felix




tem said...

at the top you can click on the other names and their ratings will change your percentages.

it defaults to some guy named dodds or something.

tem said...

the best part of wireless router talk is that my router does have 3 antennae just like he said.

Keef said...

My router only has 2 antennae

Keef said...

my mom's router has 1 antenna

Blue said...

my router has no antennae

kod said...

I also think they undervalue my team b/c I wasn't even able to put in the crazy scoring rules for kickers

(6 points for 50+, 4 for 40-50, 3 for all shorter FGs)

They have Janikowsky rated as the 8th kicker; unless they are worried about injuries....going by last year's numbers and these scoring rules, Jank and Akers were in an entirely different stratosphere than all other kickers fantasy points wise

tem said...

North Dakota is the #1 state for young people to live in.

South Dakota is #2.


meiz needs to move.

tem said...

"I also think they undervalue my team b/c I wasn't even able to put in the crazy scoring rules for kickers

(6 points for 50+, 4 for 40-50, 3 for all shorter FGs)"

i had this issue as well.

Keef said...

(6 points for 50+, 4 for 40-50, 3 for all shorter FGs)




That's not really crazy. Normal scoring for kickers is 3 pts for under 40 yds, 4 point for 40-49, and 5 pts for 50+

tem said...

i have prater as my kicker who gets a decent amount of long kicks.

Keef said...

my kicker strategery is normally to pick someone who plays in a dome

Blue said...

not this year...just a lot of PATs

kod said...

"That's not really crazy. Normal scoring for kickers is 3 pts for under 40 yds, 4 point for 40-49, and 5 pts for 50+"


it's just crazy IMO, not to say uncommon. If I was in charge, I wouldn't even allow kickers in fantasy football, let alone make it so they can outscore QBs on a good day

tem said...

kickers are why it is called FOOTball.

tem said...

they are the backbone of football.

without kickers it would just be ball.

tem said...

or rugby

tem said...

we need more kickers. points for touchbacks. extra points for hitting the bar and going in.

that's be awesome. down 4, 1 second left. send out the kicker, if he hits the post and it goes in we have a tie game.

kod said...

but, in my other league, they count defensive points for sacks, but not for turnovers


go figure; whatever league I'm in I'm sure I'll have at least some small complaint about the scoring


Mize said...

Throwball

tem said...

you could even get a lengthy explanation from huge arms ed (assuming the lock out ends) about the kick.

the kicker kicked the ball from the 30 yard line and the ball passed in bewtween the uprights and over the crossbar. prior to this the ball made contact with the eastern crossbar. by rule this counts as a 4 point play. regulation ends in a tie. by rule the game will go into an overtime period.....

Keef said...

let's add punters

Blue said...

referee fantasy league

Blue said...

get points for number of penalties called

minus points if a call on the field is overturned by replay

Keef said...

wall

Keef said...

"I've always felt like to have a successful team you've got to have a few bad citizens on the team," Pinkett said on WSCR-AM (670). "That's how Ohio State used to win all the time. They would have two or three guys that were criminals and that just adds to the chemistry of the team. I think Notre Dame is growing because maybe they have some guys that are doing something worthy of a suspension which creates edge on the football team.



That's retarded

tem said...

punters would be great too.

tem said...

"Pinkett"

jada pinkett?

Aitch said...

What player has the wrong face on Madden?

kod said...

let's add punters


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^



minus well; and while we're at it, how about .1 points for every yard punted, and 6 points if they pin w/in the 5

Raiders kicking team suddenly in VERY high demand

tem said...

kod knows.

tem said...

adding more complexity will weed out the non fans.

tem said...

too many people play fantasy football now. it is getting too dumbed down.

we need to take it back and it starts with kickers and punters.

Keef said...

it is getting too dumbed down.




Perfect.

/LP

Blue said...

LP would argue why you can't take a punter in the 1st round

tem said...

you can't because it is a kicker's league

tem said...

the points on touchbacks are gold.

Keef said...

tem is jealous because I'm going to be singing along to suite caroline tonight

tem said...

pedophile.

tem said...

keith sandusky over there.

tem said...

when you are singing it remember that in 10 years some old dude will be eying up bgas. and having those lyrics as his thoughts.

Keef said...

you?

Keef said...

creep

tem said...

no. i am anti pedophile. apparently unlike you.

tem said...

could be you thinking it. incest pedophile.

you are gross.

Keef said...

You keep bringing it up. maybe you can't stop thinking about it

Keef said...

but your* from wava, so it's understandable

Keef said...

creep

Keef said...

NEXT

tem said...

you broat* it up.

"tem is jealous because I'm going to be singing along to suite caroline tonight

August 29, 2012 3:27 PM"

check your info beforehand.

tem said...

you are like skip bayless.

tem said...

keith bayless

Keef said...

See? You can't let it go.

tem said...

you already lost. you should move on. its ok. sometimes you lose.

El Padrino said...

Your starting lineup is respectable


BOOM

El Padrino said...

"With great inseason management, we think you have about a 70 percent chance of making the playoffs"

nice, good thing i am a great in season BOSS

El Padrino said...

who drafts a kicker in the 6th round

Keef said...

Did you figure out if your wireless router transmits wifi?

tem said...

losers do.

kickers are first round material.

tem said...

how did the telemarketing go today? i hope lots of sales.

El Padrino said...

Did you figure out if your wireless router transmits wifi?

trolling

El Padrino said...

ha

gotcha!

El Padrino said...

cue the ::no way you are dumb:: comments


like WHOA

El Padrino said...


Joey Lawrence

Blue said...

did meiz move on to week 14 yet?

Blue said...

i think megatron could have 2k yards receiving this year

Mize said...

What? No.

Blue said...

damnit

Blue said...

i think everyone is ready

Keef said...

Hey, you're the one who doesn't think they have a wireless router even though they use a laptop and a wii that are connected to the internets

Blue said...

i need to accept my bowl bid

Keef said...

i think megatron could have 2k yards receiving this year



Bet?

Keef said...

I'll give you 3-1 odds

Aitch said...

" ha

gotcha!"

Standard EP defense. "I did it on purpose."

El Padrino said...

right cuz im not capable of pulling a fast one on all these bright minds we have here

Blue said...

i said could.


are you saying he couldn't have 2k yards receiving...that's it's physically not possible?

Keef said...

So no bet. Got it

Keef said...

Standard EP defense. "I did it on purpose."



^^^^^^^^^ every time

Keef said...

H knows. Even if he's an angry Porch, he knows

Aitch said...

"angry Porch"

::flank steak::

Blue said...

short for portugayse

Keef said...

yeah, come on H

Keef said...

Don't be LP

Aitch said...

" right cuz im not capable of pulling a fast one on all these bright minds"

I'm not saying that. However, when you say almost the same exact thing every time someone calls you out for saying something stupid, you lose credibility.

Aitch said...

" short for portugayse"

Never been called that. NS.

kod said...

who drafts a kicker in the 6th round


here's the thing, the players/points you compare for draft picks can't be compared to each other, you need to compare each one to other players at their own position. It's fantasy football VORP. And everyone needs to start a kicker.

Before the draft, I looked at projected players in the 6th round and compared them to players at their same position and estimated points under our league's scoring rules.

It turns out, by far the biggest VORP points-wise on the was with the kickers, well, two; Aikers and Janikowsky.

Based on their number of field goals and lengths, their average points over all other kickers was off the charts. If you didn't get one of those two, it would have been a bad play to draft a kicker at all.

Jank has a slight injury, but most of the time kickers stay pretty healthy, and most of the time, if they've been in the league a while, they are fairly consistent.

even against Mason Crosby (the #3-4 rated kicker in most draft) he averaged 9 more points per game last year. 21 of his 31 fgs were from over 40 (5 or 6 points)

so, right off the bat, on average I'll have a 9-12 point advantage, not bad for a 6th round pick

Keef said...

You're wasting your breath, kod

Aitch said...

Probably. But that is an awesome explanation. Well done, Kod.

Mize said...

Goddammit, Kod. JanikowskI

Mize said...

But Kod using Value Over Replacement is brilliant. Well done.

tem said...

That was basically my reasoning for taking graham round 1

tem said...

So Eli couldn't move the ball against the pats 2nd team???

Jugdish said...

Go

kod said...

jolene, joolene, joooline

joooooolene


I heart Dolly

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino