Friday, July 27, 2012

Fuck Grammar

Do you ever think about getting old?  It's depressing.  Yet exhilirating.  Something about waking up and not having jack shit to do is quite appealing.  What's funny is I bet when my daughter is like 14 and doing something so technology advanced from what we have today I'll be all like yeah well your daddy used to tweet ya know.  Your daddy was a blogger.  How cool is that.  She'll probably roll her eyes and go in her room to have virtual sex or something crazy out little minds haven't even thought of yet.  A little more than 10 years ago the Ipod was born.  We are on 4G bandwith with 5G right around the corner.

El Pad fact : I punch myself in the face every once in awhile.  Keeps the jaw from getting soft.

I wish you guys were into this Spumoni I'm eating right now.  It would make the cut on The Best Thing I Ever Ate - El Padrino edition.  Shit makes me sad none of you have even experienced it.  God damn revelation. 

El Pad fact :  I drank my own piss for $100 in 7th grade.  Don't judge.  It was only like a shot.

El Pad fact :  Whenever I get pissed at cmep I tighten all the bottlecaps in the fridge including salad dressings, hot sauce, soda (pop /tem), water, etc.  It gets her TIGHT. 

El Pad fact : I have 3 black cousins.

El Pad fact : I've never cheated on any girlfriend at any point.  I just broke up with them then later that day or night hook up with someone else.  I also never ate pussy until cmep.  That's how you know it's fucking love.

The punching myself in the face fact is unfortunately 100% NS.  I may have some issues.  But all in all I think I'm pretty normal.

Throwback : Snapple clear Root Beer soda.  This shit existed.  I'm on a quest to find it.

Throwback : Starter coats.

I think I miss the 90's. 

Piece.

296 comments:

1 – 200 of 296   Newer›   Newest»
Aitch said...

Oh man...

Jugdish said...

Lp

Jugdish said...

Linking is not easy from the phone

Jugdish said...

Did it even work?

Jugdish said...

If not, it was a video of jim carray kicking his own ass in liar liar

Jugdish said...

This post is full of gems.

Jugdish said...

How often are you punching yourself in the face?

Do you just hit yourself once?

Mize said...

"El Pad fact : I punch myself in the face every once in awhile. Keeps the jaw from getting soft."


Fantastic

Mize said...

I don't even know what spumoni is. Sounds like it has peppers and onions though.

Mize said...

When I was little, I would punch myself in the head really hard to prevent one of the aforementioned ass-whoopings. It worked pretty effectively.

Mize said...

Jesus. I was just contemplating putting my Kubiak on the work computer. That would probably be really dumb.

Aitch said...

Gems indeed.

El Padrino said...

"How often are you punching yourself in the face?

Do you just hit yourself once?"

once in awhile I don't really know how often, there is no schedule to it

usually twice

El Padrino said...

"I don't even know what spumoni is. Sounds like it has peppers and onions though."

close

S

it's dessert

Mize said...

OIC. I've had spumoni.


It was probably shit.

/EP

El Padrino said...

chocolate/pistachio/cremolata ice treat

L&B Spumoni Gardens is famous for it

El Padrino said...

FRIDAY

El Padrino said...

"Sandusky 'not who they say he is,' wife says"

jesus lady get a clue

Jugdish said...

once in awhile I don't really know how often, there is no schedule to it


I'm assuming alcohol is involved, right?

Ever leave a mark and have to explain to cmlp that you beat yourself up?

El Padrino said...

"I'm assuming alcohol is involved, right?"

no, it's very random

only reason i wrote that in the post is because i cracked myself a few times yesterday walking home from the train

so it sort of reminded me to put that down

El Padrino said...

"Ever leave a mark and have to explain to cmlp that you beat yourself up?"

no, always a straight shot to the jaw

i don't bruise easily and i'm not knocking myself out so i don't draw a cut or anything like that

just a nice firm quick jab right to the jaw bone

Jugdish said...

youtube this next time, please

Blue said...

do you bitchscream after?

tem said...

"Sandusky 'not who they say he is,' wife says"

maybe she means he is worse

tem said...

does it ever get you schook?

El Padrino said...

schook?

bad typist

Mize said...

Oh! Trucker Comedy Hour at Sysco East.


Little boy & his cat are out sitting on the curb. Little boy has a bag of Skittles, and every time he eats one, he bites the cat and scoots over on the curb a little. Little boy's dad watches hi do this a handful of times and decides to see what the hell he's doing out there on the curb. So, the Dad goes outside and asks the boy what the hell he's doing out there. Little boy says "I'm playing Truck Driver. I'm popping pills, eating pussy, and moving on down the road."

tem said...

that's funny

tem said...

"schook?"

technically keith wins...you just spelled shook wrong.

Mize said...

Apparently that is a classic hilarious trucker joke.

tem said...

i do like how you went with typist though over typer.

Blue said...

glad i dumped that facebook stock

getting close to about the time to buy in again

tem said...

work that system blue

El Padrino said...

"technically keith wins...you just spelled shook wrong."

i didn't spell it, you did

cnp

Blue said...

no quotes

El Padrino said...

"getting close to about the time to buy in again"

they offered no guidance

Mize said...

"they offered no guidance"


There's a ginzo joke in here somewhere

El Padrino said...

thanks for reminding me about the bet

Blue said...

"they offered no guidance"

that's why i said "close"

They're down to like $23 pre market today..if it drops below $20, i'm on it

Blue said...

although I might wait until the lockup is over, i'm gonna guess the market will get flooded with shares at that point.

tem said...

no quotes, you wrote it, you lose.

sad day.

El Padrino said...

i didn't write it

i don't always quote cnp's

El Padrino said...

if facebook builds out the mobile ad business you might be onto something

tem said...

keith is going to have a field day with schook and cnp's

Mize said...

"keith is going to have a field day with schook and cnp's"


I think he's over it.

El Padrino said...

"keith is going to have a field day with schook and cnp's?"

i didn't quote the "larty" post from aitch yesterday when I made fun of it

he didn't have a problem with it then

clearly a cnp

Mize said...

I do the stereotypical Asian voice a lot while I'm sitting here at work.

El Padrino said...

but he might make a stink about it

he was acting like such a baby yesterday

Keef said...

Yet exhilirating





I win

El Padrino said...

good for you keef

you go back to being a good mood now

Mize said...

I also say "Ludacris/Waterboy/Spit in the c-cooler" frequently.

El Padrino said...

hey wait a second

the post don't count
we agreed to that

Keef said...

You misunderstood

tem said...

post had lots of misspells.

Aitch said...

"You misunderstood"

Apparently I did as well.

tem said...

keith changed the rules after the bet was made. he was mad that el pad kept making grammar errors that didn't count.

Jugdish said...

Bass Pro Shop in the airport, mize

Blue said...

i need to get my fishing gear while i'm at the airport

Blue said...

whatta flying to playa


/lp

tem said...

because it gets confiscated by TSA.

so you land and have to buy all new stuff.

Mize said...

"Bass Pro Shop in the airport, mize"


Sounds like a trap

Jugdish said...

Sounds like a trap


Mize Ackbar

tem said...

ha

Mize said...

I was actually going to say "It's a trap!", but figured nobody would get the joke.

Keef said...

keith changed the rules after the bet was made. he was mad that el pad kept making grammar errors that didn't count.


Lp also changed the rules after the bet was made

tem said...

so?

tem said...

if el pad jumped off a bridge does that mean you would too?

Keef said...

LP wouldn't jump off a bridge

Jugdish said...

if el pad jumped off a bridge does that mean you would too?


Id do that for $100

/Lp

Keef said...

Fucking WORK that bridge

/LP

Keef said...

cnp's



You don't use an apostrophe for plurals.

Blue said...

he didn't change the rules, you just didn't understand them as written

it's not his fault how you interpret things

Blue said...

keith wants to win so bad

El Padrino said...

such a baby

El Padrino said...

SHOOK

El Padrino said...

"You misunderstood"

no YOU did

Knows English

Jugdish said...

such a baby

/the guy who tightens all the lids in the fridge when his wife pisses him off

El Padrino said...

hey this is the Lordz of Vengeance blog right?

i belong

tem said...

you spelled Lords wrong.

tem said...

i'd totally bust you for cnp's though. although you might have said apostrophes don't count.

Mize said...

"hey this is the Lordz of Vengeance blog right?"

It clearly says LORDZ OF VENGEANCE. Try again.

/Keith

El Padrino said...

fucking sophie turner

Keef said...

i'd totally bust you for cnp's though. although you might have said apostrophes don't count.



Apostrophes do count. It's in the rules. I win.

Keef said...

such a baby



It's not my fault you don't know spelling and grammar and need so many rules to tilt the odds in your favor.

El Padrino said...

you have tried to change the rules multiple times after agreeing to them

El Padrino said...

Apostrophes do count. It's in the rules. I win.

where?

Keef said...

you have tried to change the rules multiple times after agreeing to them



Only rule I changed was the rule you changed

El Padrino said...

grammar has no place in the comments section of a blog

i refuse to use it properly

my work correspondence and my business writing skills assure me that i know basic grammar

Keef said...

where?



Shocking you didn't read it.



OK. So no punctuation except apostrophe. Also, no * words.

July 26, 2012 11:36 AM
Keef said...
And it ends as soon as you make your first comment on mize's Monday post

July 26, 2012 11:36 AM
El Padrino said...
Agreed.

we are live starting next comment

El Padrino said...

"Only rule I changed was the rule you changed"

you keep trying to catch me on a rule we didn't agree on

"typer" for instance

El Padrino said...

"where?



Shocking you didn't read it."


no where is the error?

Keef said...

my work correspondence and my business writing skills assure me that i know basic grammar



So things that you can use spell check. Got it.

Keef said...

no where is the error?


cnp's.

You don't use an apostrophe to make something plural

Blue said...

cnp isn't even a word

El Padrino said...

"i don't always quote cnp's"

i got it

El Padrino said...

You don't use an apostrophe to make something plural


that's a grammar error since cnp isn't even a word

Blue said...

how do you know he was trying to make it plural, perhaps he was showing ownership

again, it's not spelled wrong

El Padrino said...

but whatever i'll lose on a technicality you've sucked all the fun out of this excercise anyway

Keef said...

you keep trying to catch me on a rule we didn't agree on

"typer" for instance



That's my fault for assuming that you would use the correct word for the situation. I meant grammar as in punctuation & capitalization. So that's my bad for not stating it from the beginning. The point of the bet is to show you don't know English. Typing incoherent sentences, but having every word spelled correctly, doesn't prove you know anything

El Padrino said...

why aren't you an English teacher since this is CLEARLY your passion

Keef said...

but whatever i'll lose on a technicality you've sucked all the fun out of this excercise anyway




such a baby

El Padrino said...

how many red markers do you own

El Padrino said...

such a baby

looks like a cnp

Keef said...

why aren't you an English teacher since this is CLEARLY your passion



Not a passion. A pet peeve

Keef said...

looks like a cnp



it was

Keef said...

This bet was fuckt from the beginning.

El Padrino said...

"The point of the bet is to show you don't know English."

will never work because

IDGAF

i'm here to be entertained not judged and ridiculed on how little grammar i know based on comments written on a fucking blog

as if you are some sort of Rhodes Scholar anyway

El Padrino said...

funny poor kid meme

Keef said...

I didn't claim to be smart

Keef said...

I know how to spell all the time. Not just when I need to for work.

Keef said...

spell/grammar

Keef said...

That's the amusing part about it.

Mize said...

Had my haulback POs opened and printed in 5 minutes today. Usually takes ~45. BEAST.

El Padrino said...

"I know how to spell all the time. Not just when I need to for work."

got no interest in doing it

will just type and publish i never read back any of my posts

ever, except when we have this dumb ass bet going

El Padrino said...

you need a new pet peeve

Keef said...

Probably

Blue said...

is this all circle of LOV because it feels like i've seen this before

El Padrino said...

for the last time

Mize said...

I'm screwed.

Mize said...

Not getting delivery requests sent to even my gmail account now. Sucks to be the field hands.

Mize said...

So I'm not screwed. Got it.

/As.

Mize said...

Bossman is one of those sensitive types that get really tight when you come back at him.

El Padrino said...

maybe because he is the boss?

Keef said...

maybe because he is the boss?



^

Mize said...

"maybe because he is the boss?"

Eh, this place is like Office Space with the amount of management. Too many supervisors.

El Padrino said...

respect the chain of command

there are ALWAYS too many cooks in the kitchen

Mize said...

"respect the chain of command"


That's why I try to keep my boss in the loop.

It's as if he either isn't used to being informed on a lot of things or doesn't want to be. That makes no sense to me.

El Padrino said...

oh he wants to coast

alot of coasters out there

Mize said...

Where as I want to know EVERY fucking thing about how this company operates. I'm not here just to stagnate in one position for 30 years. Like these dudes that have been drivers for 25 years or stockers for 15 years. WTF are you doing? Why aren't you somebody's boss yet?

Mize said...

YES. Email is back up. It's only been down for 22 hours.

Keef said...

alot isn't a word

Keef said...

ha

Keef said...

Like these dudes that have been drivers for 25 years or stockers for 15 years. WTF are you doing? Why aren't you somebody's boss yet?



Driving and stocking are easy positions. Those people don't want a job where they need to use critical thinking. Like LP said, they want to coast.

Mize said...

"alot of coasters out there"

And yet he wants to micromanage some times. Just let me cook, bruh.

Mize said...

Welp, Chubway time.

Keef said...

Hitting up Oregano's for lunch today

Blue said...

if you are looking for a job, you should know the difference between Sedona, AR and Sedona, AZ

Mize said...

"if you are looking for a job, you should know the difference between Sedona, AR and Sedona, AZ"


Seems kinda important

Mize said...

I think I'm going to buy myself a case of breakfast sandos.

El Padrino said...

"alot isn't a word"

you got a problem

Keef said...

you got a problem



It's a sickness

Mize said...

"you got a problem"

alot is a peeve of mine

Mize said...

I've just learnt to let shit slide now.

Mize said...

I just yogged ~200 yards to close my winders in the rain. I'm winded, my right achilles feels tight, and I think I'm going to have a slight cramp in my right calf.

HELP!

Mize said...

I need to get on the bike

Keef said...

I've just learnt to let shit slide now.



I try. It's tough. I'm retarded that way

El Padrino said...

fat meiz

Mize said...

"fat meiz"

Impossibly

tem said...

special case

Aitch said...

" excercise"

So EP lost huh?

tem said...

he lost a lot

tem said...

but won a lot

tem said...

he either lost the battle or lost the war but he didn't lose both.

tem said...

but seriously excercise was a good catch.

i didn't catch it. keith didn't or he would have said something.

El Padrino said...

that was in my concession comment
i gave up

i dont care either way
whatever he wants i'm sour already

tem said...

"that was in my concession comment
i gave up"

right.

Keef said...

"that was in my concession comment
i gave up"



of course

Keef said...

Whatever. This bet is off. Noone wins

Keef said...

whatever he wants i'm sour already



such a baby

El Padrino said...

Whatever. This bet is off. Noone wins



such a baby

El Padrino said...

Hey Keef.

Keef said...

Hi

El Padrino said...

your supposed to say what

Keef said...

You can't make me say anything

tem said...

what about keith's supposed to say what?

El Padrino said...

"your supposed to say what"

you know i know i'm supposed to use you're there right?

Keef said...

I do know that

tem said...

i don't know that at all.

i honestly believe you don't know and i honestly believe you are a bad speller.

best case scenario is that if you thought about it long enough you'd get it correct, but the majority of the time it doesn't occur to you that it is wrong.

El Padrino said...

I love you.

Keef said...

I love you too baby

El Padrino said...

"but the majority of the time it doesn't occur to you that it is wrong."

when i read it i automatically know what is wrong

tem said...

i don't sit here and think that you know the answer but you are deciding that typing the ' and the e is too much work and choose not to do it.

i sit here and think that you don't know the correct usage unless you concentrate on it.

Blue said...

i think this is an instance where both EP and Keith's apology is accepted by everyone else

no worries guys, you don't have to say it

El Padrino said...

i'm thinking of leaving soon

tem said...

i'm thinking of it too, but i won't actually do it.

Mize said...

Well I'm OUT

Aitch said...

I worked 75 hours this week. WOOT! $$$$

El Padrino said...

i don't sit here and think that "you know the answer but you are deciding that typing the ' and the e is too much work and choose not to do it."

i can see why it is conceived i am a poor writer and it has a lot more to do with laziness than anything else

but i can assure you i'm not for whatever that is worth even if my assurance is not worth anything i don't mind you thinking i have to sound out a sentence to myself to ensure it is correct

that is hooked on phonics type shit

not this guy

but it's cool and i appreciate your honesty

part of my issue with this was keef pointing out all of these errors, people that do that happen to be a pet peeve of mine
so we got on each others nerves a bit

but now it's time to go home and i plan on getting high tonight (alcohol) and maybe punching my lights out

El Padrino said...

enjoy your weekend gentleman

bgep is 5 tomorrow

5!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

crazy

piece

Keef said...

part of my issue with this was keef pointing out all of these errors, people that do that happen to be a pet peeve of mine
so we got on each others nerves a bit



Totally understand. Like I said, it's a problem I have. It annoys the piss out of cmk, too. I'll work on it

Keef said...

That being said, I also do it specifically to you because you get WORKED up

kod said...

"You can't make me say anything"


I can


/Cameron Crowe


-wow, that was lame...even for me

Keef said...

::flank stare::

Keef said...

KOD! You MSOAB! What's up?

kod said...

even though I think I lost about 10 IQ points in the process, I did enjoy the grammar comments today


also makes me laugh to think about someone coming across this blog for the first time, reading these comments today and what they would imagine

kod said...

what's happening Keith; just recovering from the 5 day bender also known as Nelson family summer vacation

tem said...

pretty much anyone new will run away when they read this shit.

tem said...

"even though I think I lost about 10 IQ points in the process, I did enjoy the grammar comments today"

yesterday was a hundred times better

tem said...

keith was worked up and el pad was getting there and it was awesome.

Keef said...

just recovering from the 5 day bender also known as Nelson family summer vacation



Sorry folks, the park's closed. The moose out front should of* told you

kod said...

"I've just learnt to let shit slide now.

*********************************

I try. It's tough. I'm retarded that way"



^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

any suggestions from Meiz or anyone else who has figured out how to do that would be appreciated....it drives cmkod and my family crazy at times as well

kod said...

"yesterday was a hundred times better"


thanks for the heads up, when I have time tomorrow I'll go through and read all the comments (ns)

Keef said...

keith was worked up and el pad was getting there and it was awesome.



Today is weird. I'm super tired cuz work suckt* last night. I didn't realize I was in a piss mood. But cmk made a comment this afternoon that this morning she thought I was pissed off. And then someone here axed me if everything was cool.
Now that I know that I was throwing off that vibe, I've chilled out

kod said...

it's funny, my two nieces (9 and 7) were saying they need a code word to use when they want to make it clear if they are joking or not



I then told them about s and ns

tem said...

"it drives cmkod and my family crazy at times as well"

eventually you'll figure out the benefit of saying it isn't worth the consequences.

or you will learn that the pain from keeping your mouth shut is less than the pain from opening it.

tem said...

in those instances that it is something that will drive your family crazy.

kod said...

sage advice


thanks and regards

tem said...

man that IU choking kid died at 36. massive heart attack.

tem said...

blind archer won broke a world record in archery...wfT?

Keef said...

He's blind in his right eye. It looks like his left eye is the front eye

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