Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Flash Gordon

Never seen Flash Gordon so that part of Ted was over my head. I think I am about 5 years too young for it. I dunno though. Might have to hit up IMDb.com to see what's up.

I don't have any good facts. This fact stuff got off on a bad foot. I'll try to throw out some landowners though:

I believe I have elite hand eye coordination. I'll put myself in the top 1% for sure.
I went to a private school in WaVa. I was the poorest kid there.
I believe I have a super power but I don't know which one and I don't know how to activate it.
A combination of beer and microwaves made me worse at math than I used to be.
I threw 7 INTs against Marshall in NCAA but still won by 25.
My first few times having sex I just pulled out blew my load in a towel wiped off and put it back in.
I can't really identify the smell of pot. I am probably under 50% in getting it right.
Mayonaise makes me throw up.
I would struggle to tell the difference between 2% and whole milk.
I wrote this on my phone again so any typos are the phone's fault.
I like video games.


OK that is enough facts.

So the AD and President(?) at PSU were involved in this cover up but only football gets punished? Shouldn't other parts get punished or is that what the fine is for?

Ichiro trade went fast. Hey Ichiro. You are on the wrong side of the field. We traded you over there. He played against his old team like 3 hours after the trade. How many times has that happened?

Jinx alert: the UFC on fox card in early august looks good.

Jinxing could be my super power.

166 comments:

Mize said...

Tem facts are gems

Mize said...

Bottled water is fucking wild, man. What the fuck are we doing?

El Padrino said...

i dont know

El Padrino said...

yankee lineup is just retarded

tem said...

we have 0 bottles of water at our house. we do however have a sink that provides water and a fridge that has a water dispenser on it.

El Padrino said...

the mets are the only team in the history of baseball that lose extra inning games at home on a regular basis

El Padrino said...

i dont buy bottled water asswell

tap it

i do buy carbonated water though (seltzer)

tem said...

i buy other carbonated beverages (pop)

Mize said...

"i dont buy bottled water asswell"


Neither do I, but I go through 4-6 bottles a day at work. For home, I just buy an empty gallon jug and fill it from the tap.

tem said...

you must pee a lot

El Padrino said...

"Neither do I, but I go through 4-6 bottles a day at work. For home, I just buy an empty gallon jug and fill it from the tap."

does it taste any different than bottled?

no

Mize said...

"you must pee a lot"


Nope.

Mize said...

"does it taste any different than bottled?

no"


???

Bottles of water at work are free fifty free.

tem said...

here they are one twenty five

Blue said...

here they are free as well, and they have our logo on them...but they're supposed to be for guests...but blue don't care, he just takes what he wants


blue is like the honeybadger

Blue said...

i'm back at work today. got my NCAA football on friday, but haven't had a chance to take it home yet.

will get all set tonight

Keef said...

Tap water here taste* so awful

NS

Keef said...

I played NCAA last night. Won 30-0. Didn't have a TD on offense

Keef said...

I need to figure out the passing, too. It appears that every pass you throw gets picked

Mize said...

You have to set your feet.

ns

Mize said...

That's one thing I kept in the arsenal from Madden. Drop back, eyes downfield, step up & throw.

tem said...

and you have to throw to an open receiver.

if he is covered it is getting picked.

even if it is a 1 on 1 with your 6'5" receiver and a 5'9 1/2" defensive back. The DB will win the jump ball every time.

Keef said...

They were set. But any throw where the dude wasn't wide open was pickt*

tem said...

and the LBs in the game have unreal hands again. 2 times the LB picked me off by diving about 10 yards to make the catch.

Keef said...

It's ok. As long as my D keeps scoring 3 TDs a game, I'll be good


S

tem said...

my D forced some nice TOs.

then Geno Smith would throw a pick.

seriously, he was 3 of 14 for 155 yards, 2 TDs and 7 INTs.

tem said...

meiz, i know you said no editing players, but can we change their names to their real names?

i assume that is OK.

tem said...

i assume you just meant no changing their skill levels.

El Padrino said...

ncaa doesnt sound real then

tem said...

You mean a video game has unrealistic characterisitcs?

tem said...

I thought they were all real. (Insert H violence in video games joke here)

El Padrino said...

Madden is much more realistic in regards to what you are saying about the passing offense.

tem said...

That's your opinion.

Mize said...

"meiz, i know you said no editing players, but can we change their names to their real names?"


Naturally

Mize said...

I guess I don't chuck the ball around like you guys do.

Keef said...

Also, breaking tackles is almost unpossible*

Blue said...

well, that makes me excited to have a team like Boise State..they never throw the ball

Mize said...

"well, that makes me excited to have a team like Boise State..they never throw the ball"


Hello, Badgers.

Mize said...

"Also, breaking tackles is almost unpossible*"


I break lots of tackles.

Keef said...

Well of course you do. You're mize

Keef said...

something something special case something something

Blue said...

maize is playing on jv level

El Padrino said...

Apparently not satisfied with the success of the McBites, McDonald’s is again testing the popularity of deep-fried chicken wings. Mighty Wings are now being offered in selected stores in Atlanta, with operators there saying availability is planned to spread across the area by early August. McDonald’s has tried the Mighty Wings product in the U.S. before, in the 1990s. It branded them as Chicken McWings when offered last year in Australia. They’re currently on the menu in Spain simply as Alitas de Pollo or chicken wings.


BEAST

El Padrino said...

The Onion reports on Chick-fil-A's new "Queer-Hatin' Cordon Bleu" sandwich, on sale soon: "[T]he homophobic new sandwich will include the national fast food chain's trademark fried chicken filet wrapped in a piece of specially-smoked No Homo ham that would be topped with a slice of Swiss cheese and lathered in a creamy new Thousand Island-based Fag Punching sauce."

The Onion is high quality laughter.

Keef said...

So is your face

Keef said...

A $2.2 million expedition that hoped to find wreckage from famed aviator Amelia Earhart's final flight is on its way back to Hawaii without the dramatic, conclusive plane images searchers were hoping to attain.



Shocking

Mize said...

"Well of course you do. You're mize"


I'm in the top 1% of hand eye coordination with Tem

Mize said...

I did not know Sally Ride was a bull dyke until last night.

Keef said...

I'm in the top 1% of hand eye coordination with Tem



But he throws lots of picks

Blue said...

perfect porn name

Keef said...

tem?

El Padrino said...

meiz you like jessie andrews?

Blue said...

"tem?"

tembagger

Blue said...

"meiz you like jessie andrews"

like sexually?

Blue said...

went to a bar in the mountains called "escobar"...had t-shirts with the old pablo picture on it.

I'm gonna go back and buy one for my gift basket that's going to EP.

El Padrino said...

YES!

Mize said...

"meiz you like jessie andrews?"


Don't know who that is

Mize said...

Jesus christ, man. Do you really need to make me google pornstars names at work?

El Padrino said...

thought you'd know

El Padrino said...

keef do you like honey?

El Padrino said...

it's the worlds most perfect food ya know

Keef said...

Do you really need to make me google pornstars names at work?




That's why you need a Droid

Keef said...

My phone is my nsfw link clicker when I'm at work

Keef said...

keef do you like honey?



I don't eat it straight out of the bottle. But I don't dislike it. If it's on something, I'll eat it.

Keef said...

it's the worlds most perfect food ya know



OK Pooh

El Padrino said...

i asked because i learnt honey has antioxidants that have been related to reducing damage from colitis

it's got a lot of nifty uses

Keef said...

El Poohdrino

Keef said...

i asked because i learnt honey has antioxidants that have been related to reducing damage from colitis



I see.

El Padrino said...

you can rub it on a burn to speed up healing

it can be used to prevent basic pollen allergies (if sourced locally)

ive been using it since i was a wee lad for sore throats and coughs

it even fights bacteria!

Keef said...

Do you have a bee hive?

Mize said...

I love honey. Gob that shit on my cereal, please.

Keef said...

nerve had honey on my cereal. I've had it on oatmeal

Keef said...

and cream of wheat

El Padrino said...

cereal is sweet enough jesus

El Padrino said...

oatmeal/cream of wheat

gross

keep trying it because it's so good for you but i just cant do it

fucking baby food

El Padrino said...

texture issue

Keef said...

cereal is sweet enough jesus



I'll put sugar on something like rice krispies or chex

El Padrino said...

not bad that probably only amounts to like 8 or 9 grams total

tem said...

i only threw the ball 14 times, so you can figure i run the ball a lot.

Mize said...

"cereal is sweet enough jesus"


I shouldn't be surprised you eat kids cereal

Keef said...

WFT is wrong with kids cereal? It's the best

El Padrino said...

"cereal is sweet enough jesus"


I shouldn't be surprised you eat kids cereal"


i rarely eat cereal

for no reason i like them all
just dont

and to keef's point

WFT is wrong with kids cereal?

Mize said...

You don't get to put delicious honey on the kids cereal

Keef said...

But you have marshmallows

Keef said...

Mariah's boobays are the new judges on AI

Blue said...

"i only threw the ball 14 times, so you can figure i run the ball a lot."


If half of my passes were picks, i'd run a lot too

Keef said...

Is blue in the league or can we go to week 2 yet?

Aitch said...

McD's chicken nuggets dipped in honey = fantastic

Aitch said...

" Mariah's boobays are the new judges on AI"

Dislike

Keef said...

McD's chicken nuggets dipped in honey = fantastic



yessir

Keef said...

Dislike


cmk said that too. She said the only person she dislikes more than jlo is mc

Blue said...

blue will be in the league tonight..

Keef said...

suite

Blue said...

if i can figure out how to join

El Padrino said...

mariah carey was my first love

El Padrino said...

i jerked off to her more than any other woman during my formative years

tem said...

meiz invites you and joining from there is easy.

tem said...

beth died again huh?

Mize said...

"if i can figure out how to join"


I think I sent you a friend request on XBL. What's yer gamertag?

El Padrino said...

suite movie poster

Keef said...

wall

tem said...

long fucking day

Aitch said...

" long fucking day"

24 hours. Just like yesterday.

tem said...

today seems longer

tem said...

you better check and make sure they didn't add an hour in there

Keef said...

that's your OPINION, which you're entitled too*

Blue said...

who hurt you

Blue said...

the opinion/research slapper cracked me up yesterday

El Padrino said...

keef you see that new ASU coach was holding like a twitter presser today whereby fans can ask questions via twitter and it's got over ran from smart ass Pitt fans bitter he left

some of the questions are hilarious

Keef said...

keef you see that new ASU coach was holding like a twitter presser today whereby fans can ask questions via twitter and it's got over ran from smart ass Pitt fans bitter he left



No. but that's funny. They were pisst*. He kind of seems like a douche, but he's talked a big game since he got here

El Padrino said...

One of the questions

"Recently Joe Paterno had to vacate 112 wins. Are you worried at all that some day you would have to vacate wins? Or will you just continue not winning?" #AskASU

El Padrino said...

"So where are you renting?" #AskASU

Keef said...

Hey Todd, my grandmas cat passed away, can you text her the bad news. I dont have the heart. #AskASU




hilarity

El Padrino said...

yeah it's all gold

Keef said...

Do you sim seasons in NCAA13 just to play the coaching carousel? #AskASU

ha

Keef said...

Coach, is it true that you can't coach at any universities in Iowa because you refuse to substitute high octane with ethanol? #AskASU



hahahahahaha

tem said...

puck fitt

Blue said...

i need to see this minka kelly sextape

i think it's fake

tem said...

that's your opinion.

but you should do some research on it.

tem said...

minka kelly looks a little like natalie portman.

Keef said...

or let someone else do the research and then you read it

El Padrino said...

george jefferson is moving on up for the last time

Keef said...

spoiler alert

tem said...

with regards to a minka kelly sex tape i am OK with doing the research.

Keef said...

Right. She's white, so you'll watch her

tem said...

this is true

tem said...

i can watch usa basketball on the intrawebs

El Padrino said...

i can watch porn on the intrawebs

Keef said...

and you do

Keef said...

like a fat guy eats cake

El Padrino said...

not often

El Padrino said...

im bulletproof nothing to lose

Mize said...

Currently in the process of advancing to Week 2

El Padrino said...

para para
paradise

para para
paradise

Keef said...

are you going to keep playing FCS teams?

Mize said...

Tem has a bye this week

Mize said...

"are you going to keep playing FCS teams?"


Wisconsin always pulls that shit with the 1st game of the season. Its part of the reason they'll never win a championship.

El Padrino said...

piece

Mize said...

Yup, still atrocious on defense

Mize said...

Sqeeeeezed out a 23-21 win over Oregon State. Their QB is a star & shredded me

Mize said...

Oooh, and its an Instant Classic. Suite.

Keef said...

wall

Mize said...

I'm out here scheduling recruit visits for the Ohio State mollywhopping.

Mize said...

Rivals still has Nick Toon listed on the Badgers. :(

tem said...

I did my bye week recruiting. Seems like it forgot some shit I learnt last week about people.

Mize said...

I didn't really pay that much attention to it.

tem said...

I wouldn't have if I had a game to play this week. But since all I did was recruit it got more of my attention.

Blue said...

what's the dynasty name?

Blue said...

what's the pathword

Spaceman Spiff said...

hanley to the dodgers for nothing

tyler is pumped

Mize said...

"hanley to the dodgers for nothing"

WFT

Mize said...

Can't wait for Greinke to get traded to the Rangers or the O's today

tem said...

No idea on pathword. Meiz invited me so I didn't need it. When he invites you then you won't need it.

Mize said...

I'm fairly certain Blue is already in

Mize said...

pathword is vengeance

Mize said...

I guess I'm commishing $FNFL this year. Should be a disaster.

El Padrino said...

wft on the hanley deal

El Padrino said...

surprised david stern didnt block this trade

jesus

El Padrino said...

dodgers need an arm and they'll be set

El Padrino said...

do the phillies have a money print in the clubhouse

they spend yankee monday

El Padrino said...

hey spiff is back

tem said...

yay NCAA.

nobody cares about hanley; he sucks now.

El Padrino said...

how was it young'en

best vaca evaraeer!!!!

tem said...

everytime rev eats a donut the phillies get a dollar.

the phillies have money.

El Padrino said...

"Girl punk band jailed for mocking Putin"

free speech is awesome

Blue said...

go time

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino