Friday, June 08, 2012

List

First, a primer.  I won't be putting things on here that I haven't had the opportunity of trying.  Like I've never attempted to rebuild an engine or fly a plane.  My logic is quite simple.  If given the opportunity to attempt this activities at some point I will master it and be the best at doing that.  It's just how I'm put together.  How I'm wired.  I know that is off-putting.  I don't apologize.  So this list will be about things I've actually attempted to be the best at.

10 things I am not the best at :

1) I am not the best golfer.  I've tried golfing many times.  I am not the best.  I'm not even second best or third best.  I broke 100 once.  98.  I can drive the ball pretty well.  And most of the time it's straight but the in between game is rough.  When you add 2 strokes for putting you are talking, on average, 7 strokes a hole.  What ends up happening after like the 12th hole is I get disinterested/pissed and just drink the rest of the time moreso than through the first 12 holes.  Terrible game that golf.

2) I am not the best bowler.  When I was 12 I was in a bowling league.  One time I bowled a 254. In my adult age I'm in the 180's.  That isn't the best.  The best is like 280's.  No one averages a 300 right?  Anyway the best part about being in a bowling league was the free soda and chips.  That is why most bowling league members are fat.  Science.

3) I am not the best ping pong player.  By a mile.  I am a very good ping pong player then one day my cousin brings this dude over and he is Cuban.  Well apparentely Cubans can fucking play ping pong.  He straight whupped my ass.  I mean whupped.  Only beat him twice in about 89 tries.  Sick.

4) Obviously I am not the best typer.  There are people that can type 90 words per minute with no errors.  That shit cray.  I can type at a medium speed and there will be errors.  It's not the spelling.  It's not the grammar.  It's the typing.

5) I am not the best rice cooker.  For some reason my rice never comes out fluffy the way the pros get it.  My rice is not a sticky mess I'm no amateur but I'm not the best at it.  Plain and simple.

6) CMEP says I'm not the best listener.  Whatever the fuck that means.

7) Well here it goes.  I'm not the best lover maker.  Occasionally I'll have a tremendous performance.  A perfect game if you will.  Luckily I'm married and I don't have to have a great performance every time out.  It's all about busting a nut.  I'm gonna get mine so you better get yours.  Raw dog is rough.  Pussy is so good.  If I see a porno and the guy is pumping for 20 minutes and i mean hard pumpin, drugs or not I'm impressed.  I heard it's all mental but my mentality is I want to bust a god damn nut. 

8) I am not the best builder of Ikea furniture.  I always put too much muscle on something and crack it or shave a piece off from pure torque.  It's such crap.  Looks good finished.

9) I'm not the best swimmer.  I'm a fantastic swimmer but not the best.  CHSILEP had a boyfriend who swam competively on high school so I challenged him to a duel in Mexico to see how I stacked up and he smoked me.  By many lengths.

10) I am not the best at.........................................I think that's it. (admitting I'm not the best in something)







398 comments:

1 – 200 of 398   Newer›   Newest»
Beth said...

Damn, so many jokes to be made about this list, I don't even know where to start...

tem said...

Good post. Bust a nut comments were the best.

Beth said...

"Bust a nut comments were the best."

No they weren't.

/cmep & women everywhere

tem said...

They were funny.

tem said...

Chicks know that guys will last longer if they have sex more often right? Like if you make us wait 10 days between sex making we won't last as long if you only made us wait 3 days.

tem said...

It's part practice makes perfect, part physical and part mental. Holding the 10 day buildup back is harder than the 3 day.

Mize said...

"I broke 100 once. 98."


Bullshit

Mize said...

"In my adult age I'm in the 180's."

Bullshit. I peaked at 190 or 191.

Mize said...

Otherwise, good post

Beth said...

"Chicks know that guys will last longer if they have sex more often right? Like if you make us wait 10 days between sex making we won't last as long if you only made us wait 3 days."

Holy shit, really??????

(s)

Beth said...

Chicks know how to use that our advantage. Best time to ask a guy for something is after a long time between making sex when he's hard and dying to bust a nut.

ns

tem said...

For a myriad of reasons (has a penis /zeke) of course you know Beth. I mean other chicks.

Mize said...

"Chicks know how to use that our advantage. Best time to ask a guy for something is after a long time between making sex when he's hard and dying to bust a nut."


And these are the simpin' ass motherfuckers out here making a bad name for dudes all over the globe.

Beth said...

Oh that's right Mize, you'd be the one guy in the world who'd resist that situation...

Mize said...

I'm fairly cetain we've been over this. Sex is not a top priority in my life. It never has been.

El Padrino said...

Chicks know that guys will last longer if they have sex more often right? Like if you make us wait 10 days between sex making we won't last as long if you only made us wait 3 days.

tem knows

El Padrino said...

"I broke 100 once. 98."


Bullshit"

you've said this everytime i've said it

El Padrino said...

"Bullshit. I peaked at 190 or 191."

your face is bullshit

Mize said...

That's because I don't believe you. And neither does anybody that actually plays golf.

Beth said...

"I'm fairly cetain we've been over this. Sex is not a top priority in my life. It never has been."

I'll be curious to see if you still say this after you have sex for the 1st time.

Mize said...

I don't bowl, but I average in the 180s = you really average somewhere between 130-155.

Mize said...

"I'll be curious to see if you still say this after you have sex for the 1st time."


You win the internet today.

El Padrino said...

i'm over here spitting truth

like dude why lie about breaking a 100 once or bowliong for a specific average

what do i have to gain

bowling aint fucking hard
if i played it everyday of my life i'd average a 280

i havent bowled in years, last itme i bowled was a birthday of mine maybe 27th? all i know is if i walk into a bowling alley today and bowl 4 games in a row i'd average a 180 the first game will be ugly the second game will be better and the third and fourth will be pretty damn good

beelet dat

El Padrino said...

"And neither does anybody that actually plays golf."

there were witnesses

El Padrino said...

"I'm fairly cetain we've been over this. Sex is not a top priority in my life. It never has been."

TOPM please

tem said...

el pad and meiz need to have LOV olympics. it has to happen.

fuck 0%, let's throw money into a hat and get meiz to NYC for a weekend with el pad.

Mize said...

It isn't that you have anything to gain, or that you're even lying. The likelihood of you actually keeping accurate score when playing golf is pretty much nil.

And saying bowling is easy is absolutely ridiculous. I haven't bowled in almost 4 years. I'd shit a brick if I shot a 540.

Mize said...

Bowling is an official Summit challenge now, just to prove LP wrong.

Mize said...

Also, you openly call golf gay, but I'm supposed to believe you know the rules and how to keep score?

Mize said...

"fuck 0%, let's throw money into a hat and get meiz to NYC for a weekend with el pad."


NY to WI would cost less. Better bowling houses, cheaper good quality golf courses.

tem said...

i'm not sure keeping score in golf is that hard.

penalty stroke stuff is moderately tricky, but the whole if you hit the ball it counts as a stroke thing is pretty simple.

tem said...

"NY to WI would cost less"

agreed.

but i think the chances of getting el pad to leave NYC <<<<<infinity<<<<< the chances of getting you to leave WI

Mize said...

We need a videographer.

Beth said...

"fuck 0%, let's throw money into a hat and get meiz to NYC for a weekend with el pad."

Hell, even I'd be tempted to go to that one.

El Padrino said...

"The likelihood of you actually keeping accurate score when playing golf is pretty much nil."

kept for me, i golfed with other men who took tit serious

El Padrino said...

"fuck 0%, let's throw money into a hat and get meiz to NYC for a weekend with el pad."

i'll be there

Keef said...

all i know is if i walk into a bowling alley today and bowl 4 games in a row i'd average a 180



You're so fucking retarded.

El Padrino said...

"And saying bowling is easy is absolutely ridiculous."

if you bowled everyday you'd be awesome

it's not science

El Padrino said...

annnnd keef is here

yay!

El Padrino said...

here come the rips

i have a meeting will respond after

Keef said...

I'd consider myself an above average bowler. I went bowling for the first time in a couple years last weekend and averaged 140 in 2 games. I'm guessing you'd probably be about the same

Keef said...

And noone averages 280

Keef said...

Let's say you go bowling and get a 130 the first game and a 150 the second game. So you're telling me for the next 2 games you'd average 220? After not bowling a for a few years? You're not the best at reality

Keef said...

And I would be surprised if you broke 100 in golf when you say that your average per hole is 7.

tem said...

he forgot to tell you the 100 was on a 9 hole par 3 course.

Keef said...

I bet LP would have an easier time writing a million things he's the best at than he did with is list.

Keef said...

*this list

Keef said...

he forgot to tell you the 100 was on a 9 hole par 3 course.


Good point.

tem said...

fwit i believe he broke 100 in golf once and i do not believe he would average in the 180s in bowling.

tem said...

fwit is hisiirl

Beth said...

"fwit i believe he broke 100 in golf once and i do not believe he would average in the 180s in bowling"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Mize said...

I absolutely do not believe the breaking 100 story.

Jugdish said...

i'll be there


You're already there

Keef said...

In 2005, England minted a coin with the word “remember” misspelled as “pemember.”

tem said...

it wasn't misspelled, just misttyped.

Keef said...

fwit i believe he broke 100 in golf once and i do not believe he would average in the 180s in bowling.



I guess it depends. Going back to tem's comment, what was par? If it was par-70 or higher, I'd say no. If it was legit scoring, not using mulligans or anything, I don't believe it. If I had to guess, I'd say there was probably a mulligan per hole.

tem said...

i play golf far less than keith or meiz, so their opinion on the golf matter should carry more weight than mine.

Keef said...

it wasn't misspelled, just misttyped.



Oh, right

tem said...

last time i played I believe clinton was in office.

Keef said...

I believe that LP broke 100 just as much as I believed mize when he said he could break 100 on a US Open course from the tips

Keef said...

Just the tips

tem said...

unless mini golf counts.

i had lots of dates mini-golfing.

Keef said...

last time i played I believe clinton was in office.



So you should be able to go out and shoot 85, according to LP's logic

tem said...

cmtem and my first date was minigolf and then carrabbas (sp?)

El Padrino said...

idgaf if any of you believe me that i broke 100 once

it's dumb to even argue it

if you told me you did it i'd believe you because i have no other reason not to

Keef said...

I haven't been mini golfing in years

Keef said...

if you told me you did it i'd believe you because i have no other reason not to



Right. Your stories are mostly outrageous nonsense, so we have a reason not to believe you

Keef said...

WADR

Spaceman Spiff said...

dem tits

Keef said...

good lord

El Padrino said...

"Let's say you go bowling and get a 130 the first game and a 150 the second game. So you're telling me for the next 2 games you'd average 220? After not bowling a for a few years? You're not the best at reality"

130? thats what girls roll
i gty i walk into a place today and min 150

i dont think 180 is high at all
or i've just been around good bowlers, my cousin routinely hits 200 whenever we used to go his girlfriend is in the 150's all day

Jugdish said...

Its not a list of ten things he isnt good at, its the list of ten things he isnt good at because he doesnt spend a lot of time on them, but if he did he would be awesome.

El Padrino said...

"Right. Your stories are mostly outrageous nonsense, so we have a reason not to believe you"

all my stories are troofs
name me one that's a lie

Tyler said...

And saying bowling is easy is absolutely ridiculous.

Exactly. You're also bowling on a house oil pattern, which is easy and the most forgiving. You can totally miss your mark and go outside and still end up with a strike.

Spaceman Spiff said...

5'9.5" was a lie you said

Keef said...

130? thats what girls roll
i gty i walk into a place today and min 150



Your perception of reality is so skewed

Keef said...

Exactly. You're also bowling on a house oil pattern, which is easy and the most forgiving. You can totally miss your mark and go outside and still end up with a strike.




THAT
JUST
HAPPENED

tem said...

maybe he bowls 15 frames like the amish dude from Kingpin.

tem said...

"Exactly. You're also bowling on a house oil pattern, which is easy and the most forgiving. You can totally miss your mark and go outside and still end up with a strike."

this is high end bowling analysis.

i have no idea what to do with it.

tyler has instantly become the most knowledgeable bowling person i know...until meiz drops some high end bowling knowledge.

Tyler said...

Bowl on anything other than a house pattern and I guarantee you'll bowl under 100.

Keef said...

this is high end bowling analysis.

i have no idea what to do with it.



Most public lanes have little oil on them

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Bowl on anything other than a house pattern and I guarantee you'll bowl under 100."

maybe the first try, but after that watch out 300!

Keef said...

I think that's what it means. So the less oil, the easier it is to control where the ball goes.

Still, NFW LP goes and averages 180 for 4 games after a 4 year hiatus. 0fucking%

Tyler said...

I was on a bowling team with a friend that I've known since 1st grade and his brother. His brother was averaging 225-230. That is a very good average. I've personally seen him bowl three 299 games and he finally got a 300 a year or two ago.

He bowled in a league on Sunday mornings that used pro-patterns and was averaging 130.

Keef said...

I'd go so far as to say that LP wouldn't average 180 after a 4 year break even if it was no tap

Tyler said...

Most public lanes have little oil on them

Most of the oil is in the center of the lane. So if you throw a hook and you miss outside, it will bite harder and you can still hit the pocket.

Mize said...

"I believe that LP broke 100 just as much as I believed mize when he said he could break 100 on a US Open course from the tips"


Back then, sure. Now? NFW.

Keef said...

Most of the oil is in the center of the lane



Gotcha

Keef said...

Back then, sure.


No

tem said...

bowling analysis is way over my head.

maybe they put the bumper rails down for LP.

Beth said...

"dem tits"

Someone help me here, do guys really like them that big or is it more just an initial novelty factor?

kod said...

"Like if you make us wait 10 days between sex making we won't last as long if you only made us wait 3 days."


not if you fire off some knuckle children in between

maybe that's just me though (ns)

tem said...

oil makes the ball go faster?

so if it is in the center it speeds up in the good area and if it isn't on the edges it slows down one the bad areas (b/c you want to hit the center and not the edges)???

Tyler said...

maybe he bowls 15 frames like the amish dude from Kingpin.

^^^^^^^^^^

Keef said...

Someone help me here, do guys really like them that big or is it more just an initial novelty factor?




They're fun to look at on a gif like that.

Keef said...

maybe they put the bumper rails down for LP



Also a possibility

Keef said...

oil makes the ball go faster?



No, it makes it harder to curve.

Keef said...

I think Tyler's analysis is only valid if you throw a curve. I bet LP is "throw it as hard as I can so people say whoa" guy

Spaceman Spiff said...

"They're fun to look at on a gif like that."

this

Mize said...

"No"


That's fine.

Beth said...

"They're fun to look at on a gif like that."

Ok, kinda what I thought then.

Tyler said...

oil makes the ball go faster?

It's more about friction. The oil pattern actually stops a couple of feet from the pins too, so most of the hook happens when you hit that area because there is low or no oil and it bites.

Keef said...

Who knew that Tyler was bowling guy?

Mize said...

One thing I do miss about bowling is the feeling of absolutely burying a ball in the pocket. Goddamn, that's a suite feeling.

Jugdish said...

Tyler is Big Ern!

Beth said...

"One thing I do miss about bowling is the feeling of absolutely burying a ball in the pocket. Goddamn, that's a suite feeling."

When Mize says this it's really about bowling, if EP said it then not so much.

Tyler said...

Yeah, if you're bowling a straight ball, you're usually bowling down close to the middle of the lane, where all of the oil is. It doesn't really matter then, because you're bowling straight. The best advice I can give is that when you swing the ball on your approach, you swing straight back and straight forward. Because if you turn your body, the ball is going to go in the direction you swing in. Even when you throw a hook, it's straight back and straight forward; you just turn your hand as the end of the motion.

Keef said...

Bowling needs to be on the docket at the next summit

Keef said...

Former Boston Red Sox pitcher Curt Schilling's videogame company, 38 Studios LLC, filed for Chapter 7 bankruptcy liquidation.


O:FB

Mize said...

If you're gonna throw a straight ball you should throw from one of the corners to the pocket.

Mize said...

Yes, we need to do something other than just sitting at a bar.

Keef said...

Lots of play bowling talk

Tyler said...

And you don't have to be one of those guys that throws 20 mph (EP bull in a china shop style). The way I was taught was that it's more about form and technique than power. There have been several times where I know I threw the ball too hard and if I slow it down 1 mph, I'll hit the pocket perfectly for a strike.

Mize said...

I threw a 25MPH strike at the state tournament once. It was awesome. I was hamcocked because I was bowling like shit, so me & a couple guys were going for the fastest strike

Keef said...

I can basically throw the ball at whatever MPH I want

/LP

Keef said...

I threw a 25MPH strike at the state tournament once



I've never seen a radar gun at a bowling alley

Keef said...

I can roll this ball over those mountains


/Uncle Drino

Spaceman Spiff said...

they always show the speed on the screen

El Padrino said...

"its the list of ten things he isnt good at because he doesnt spend a lot of time on them, but if he did he would be awesome."

wouldnt you perfect something if you had the opportunity to do it everyday?

Keef said...

they always show the speed on the screen



Ah. I'll have to pay attention to that

Spaceman Spiff said...

no

Spaceman Spiff said...

no was to EP

Keef said...

wouldnt you perfect something if you had the opportunity to do it everyday?




Like typing?

Mize said...

"I've never seen a radar gun at a bowling alley"

I've seen it maybe twice.

El Padrino said...

"If you're gonna throw a straight ball you should throw from one of the corners to the pocket."

me, left corner

Keef said...

me, left corner




Ah, Brooklyn. ISWYDT

El Padrino said...

tyler is a pete webber

suite

Keef said...

Doug O'Neill, the trainer for Triple Crown hopeful I'll Have Another, told "The Dan Patrick Show" that the horse "is officially out of the Belmont."

Mize said...

These truckers onthe CB are talking about doing coke on the road & shit.

Tyler said...

I've never seen a radar gun at a bowling alley

It depends on the alley if they have it or not, but usually it will flash at the bottom before the stupid animation plays.

There was one league I played in that had cameras at the end of the lanes, so you could see the pin wobbling if you barely missed a spare.

Mize said...

"Ah, Brooklyn. ISWYDT"


Not if he starts left & throws @ the 1 2

El Padrino said...

"Like typing?"

no

like something you wanted to perfect

El Padrino said...

Triple Crown hopeful I'll Have Another will not run in the Belmont Stakes Saturday.

BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO

El Padrino said...

"no was to EP"

if you strived to you would

Spaceman Spiff said...

friday night lights is my new work show, show is great, but every new character immediately having sexual tension with someone is getting tired

Keef said...

Not if he starts left & throws @ the 1 2



I thought Brooklon* was the left side of the head pin

Beth said...

Anyone on here watch America's Got Talent?

Tem maybe?

Tyler said...

I thought Brooklon* was the left side of the head pin

If you're right handed. Brooklyn means you crossed-over and hit the opposite pocket.

Tyler said...

And yeah, Mize is right, if he's starting on the 1-2 side, then that's the pocket.

Tyler said...

If you want to throw a hook, it's not like it's a lot of rocket science, the ball does most of the work. There are adjustments to be made depending on the lane, and you need to figure out spares, but if you buy a ball and get it drilled (go fingertip) and practice a little, you can quickly improve. In a year I went from averaging a 142 bowling a straight ball to a 186.

Keef said...

And yeah, Mize is right, if he's starting on the 1-2 side, then that's the pocket.



OIC. I thoat* left side was always Brooklyn

Keef said...

In a year I went from averaging a 142 bowling a straight ball to a 186.



Amateur

/LP

Keef said...

I wonder if LP realizes there aren't any mulligans in bowling

El Padrino said...

duh

Keef said...

If LP was at the summit, a ginormous if I know, and there was golf and bowling olympics, he wouldn't medal

Keef said...

we'll never find that out, though

Keef said...

LP isn't the best at WWF

Keef said...

LP isn't the best at TCS

Keef said...

LP doesn't have the best face

Keef said...

LP isn't the best at his yob

Keef said...

LP isn't the best natty

tem said...

"Anyone on here watch America's Got Talent?

Tem maybe?"

negative.

the only reality show i watch is the voice.

cmtem watches the dancing thing so i see some of it sometimes. (so you watch more than 1, got it /as)

El Padrino said...

"LP doesn't have the best face"

according to who

El Padrino said...

"If LP was at the summit, a ginormous if I know, and there was golf and bowling olympics, he wouldn't medal"

how do you know?

tem said...

LP is the best at his yob

Keef said...

how do you know?



I would bet that mize, tyler, & I are better bowlers than you.

I would also bet that mize, blue, & tp were better golfers than you

tem said...

i read the I'll Have Another article and i am very confused.

they say he is out.

then they say "O'Neill then declared his horse "fit and ready to go.""

and "He stayed with coach Lava Man just to keep everything off-speed. I was very pleased with it. Perfect. We are ready to roll."

El Padrino said...

correct

Mize said...

"In a year I went from averaging a 142 bowling a straight ball to a 186"


Now that's remarkable. I never liked the way my ball was drilled. Not enough hook in it, so I missed light all the time.

El Padrino said...

"I would bet that mize, tyler, & I are better bowlers than you.

I would also bet that mize, blue, & tp were better golfers than you"


so you don't know

got it

El Padrino said...

only one way to find out

i'll need some clubs though so someone bring some

El Padrino said...

tyler clearly is a better bowler than anyone here

how can anyone guess who'd be second on third is pure speculation

El Padrino said...

i would win/place or show in any lov olympic event

colov

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Gronk highest paid TE in NFL history, signs 6yr/$54m deal"

tem said...

I bet Lp is bad at baseball. City folk usually suck at hitting.

Tyler said...

tyler clearly is a better bowler than anyone here

Mize's prime was probably better than my prime. The last league I was in was 2009.

tem said...

And the cornhole / bagtoss game. That's not for city folk either.

Tyler said...

"Gronk highest paid TE in NFL history, signs 6yr/$54m deal"

Sweet, so he's going to suck this year now that he got paid.

El Padrino said...

"I bet Lp is bad at baseball. City folk usually suck at hitting."

stop it

El Padrino said...

And the cornhole / bagtoss game.

WORK

El Padrino said...

i'm good at everything just not the best at everything

tem said...

How much is gronk guaranteed?

El Padrino said...

"City folk usually suck at hitting"

ever hear of stickball or
spongeball?

tem said...

Bad at volleyball too.

El Padrino said...

WORK

tem said...

Exactly, cityfolk try to hit the baseball like they are hitting stickball. It's hilarious.

tem said...

Lp is too short to spike sand vball.

Spaceman Spiff said...

no gteed number out there yet

Mize said...

"tyler clearly is a better bowler than anyone here

how can anyone guess who'd be second on third is pure speculation"


I'd be either first or second

Mize said...

Tem runs better routes and has better hands than LP.

Lock it up.

El Padrino said...

speculative

El Padrino said...

stop it

El Padrino said...

this has turned into a spectacle

Keef said...

i would win/place or show in any lov olympic event



this is why people laugh at whatever you say

Keef said...

"I bet Lp is bad at baseball. City folk usually suck at hitting."



He would have a grate* OB%. Small strike zone

tem said...

i'd throw my hat into anything football and baseball related.

also the bag toss thing.

and drinking diet pepsi.

and volleyball. i'd work people goose and maverick style.

and family guy quotes.

Spaceman Spiff said...

gronk got 8 gteed

tem said...

i'd get worked in bowling, basketball, golf and watching movies.

Keef said...

Me & tem would own the doubles bag toss competition

El Padrino said...

"this is why people laugh at whatever you say"

i wouldnt discount anything you said

if you said i'm the best sandwich maker i'd say suite he's the best sanwhich* maker

you've never seen me play anything, anywhere you don't even know what my entire body looks like this is why i just laugh at your jealous retorts

tem said...

i bet meiz is good at it.

bag toss is fucking all over the midwest. i don't think it hits the coasts quite as much.

in other news, i suck at that ball and rope toss thing.

Tyler said...

He would have a grate* OB%. Small strike zone

This made me laugh out loud and a coworker asked me what was funny. Nice job.

tem said...

kod probably bag tosses well too.

El Padrino said...

"this is why people laugh at whatever you say"

sounds like you lack confidence

Mize said...

"stop it"


Did you play WR in college? Oh, wait.

Mize said...

I'm solid at cornhole. I don't play much because it's boring.

Tyler said...

I am going to work "I just laugh at your jealous retorts" into a conversation today.

tem said...

LP does give gems.

El Padrino said...

anytime anywhere

even if i never played it or done it i'm up for the comp

bring it

El Padrino said...

i'm fucking jakked up right now

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"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino