Monday, June 25, 2012

El Pad Q&A Mize Edition

Did your parents strike you when growing up?
Of course. Both of them.  My Mom used whatever rigid object she could.  Old man bloodied me on Thanksgiving in 8th grade.

Did they run the AC in the summer?
I assume so.  I think we had central air even when we were poorish.

Do you remember your first kiss?
Yeah, who doesn't?  My first kiss and my first meaningful kiss are different stories, though.  I know I kissed this girl I liked back in like 4th or 5th grade.  Her name is Hyacinth. She was fine.  My first real good but some shake in your bones kiss was my friend Lisa.  Everybody assumed we were fucking anyway since we shared a locker.  Yeah, I was that guy.  Still kinda am.  Oblivious to these chicks that dig me. Oh well.

What was your mother's best dish?
I don't know. She's the one that put me onto lobster, so it could be that. That's just my favorite though. Her best is probably steak. I can't cook a good steak for shit. Its the one thing I can't cook just right, and it pisses me off. I guess that's one of the reasons I say I don't care for it. I'm still a better cook than your mother, though.

First car?
1991 4 door Chevy Cavalier. I got it with 179,000 miles on it. My Dad bought it for $800 with money he owed me. I lent him $1500 for a motorcycle, and he called it even. Then in 2000, he flipped it to one of my friends for $900. I really can't stand that motherfucker.

Best friend?
I guess Jay. Probably not in the true sense, but that's what people say.

How many fights have you gotten into?
Too many. Didn't take many losses in my career, but the losses I took were significant and I learned very important lessons from them. One of those lessons is don't be concerned with fighting fair. I was getting ready to square up with Jay in 7th grade, and he did NOT wait for me to square up. he bombed on my left eye like 5 times in a row, undefended. I was so shook, I hit him with an open hand. Yes, I slapped him when I should have put the KO bomb on him. I still get shit for it. I didn't hit the deck though. Even then, I had been in too many fights to hit the canvas. I fought A LOT in Milwaukee. That happened a ton being a white boy hanging out with black kids. You're an easy target, and in the 80s kids my age had parents that were born into segregation. I had to stand up to some of the alleged baddest motherfuckers in school. They always thought they were picking on a little white boy that wouldn't fight back. I hit this dude named Carlos with an entire desk once. Yes, I picked that fucking thing up in Homeroom and threw it all kinds of in his face. I once bashed one of my best friends' face in on the pencil sharpener, WWF style. There's only so much abuse a person can take before they go ape on you.

Have you committed a crime?
A felony? Fuck no. I ain't a damn fool.

What was your first job?
I worked at the Grafton Mobil station. It sucked. My friends would come in in droves and rob the store. And then my boss would ream me out. The fuck is a 14/15 year old kid supposed to do when a dozen people rush in and empty the shelves? Get some cameras, you cheap fuck.

I consider CCW my first job. I loved working there. Every day was a party. Smoking, drinking, promiscuity, the whole nine. Got my first beejer on that golf course. Shit, my advice to any HS kid I talk to that's looking for a job is to get a job at a golf course. And not being a maintenance grunt, get a job on the clubhouse side, and ball the fuck out. Fuck bitches, get money, make connections, and play a fuckload of golf. Golf is one of the absolute best tools you can have in your bag. A GREAT life skill.

Favorite sports moment?
I think it has to be Ryan Braun's home run against the Marlins to clinch the division last year, sitting at the cake bar in Austin, and being the only person there who gave a damn about the game. I looked at the score, the count, the runners on, the outs, and said "Oh my god, he's gonna hit a home run here". And he did. And I cried a bit that night whether or not you saw it. I still smile and mist up when I watch this video.



Are you afraid of anything?
Duh. Heights. I am terrified of the thought of falling off something, even though I was a tree climber when I was a kid. Even now. I have no problem climbing up on the roof on a ladder, but the getting down part is what shakes the fuck out of me. I'd rather jump off the roof. I feel like I'm more in control in that situation. I don't trust ladders and things like that.

Any regrets?
Sure. Nothing I really wanna dive into right now though.

I hope this was up to snuff.

167 comments:

Beth said...

"I hope this was up to snuff"

I think so, until you wimped out on the last question.

Mize said...

Every response would have been criticized, so I chose not to.

Beth said...

Like I said, wimped out.

Mize said...

Your face is a wimp

Beth said...

You only say that cause I'm not married and thus don't appeal to you.

s

Beth said...

(Ep, the above is a reference to LOVweekend, don't try to figure it out...)

Mize said...

Jilarity

Mize said...

Nobody's hanging out today?

Mize said...

Heauxs, man. Heauxs. Gotta love 'em.

Beth said...

Remember though, breauxs before heauxs.

tem said...

"tem will learn, rearranging the garage (i.e. alone time) will be very important in the future."


she was rearranging the garage and asking me questions about it every 5 minutes or making me rearrange the garage with her. Like I give a shit where my golf shoes go. I haven't even had my clubs in 19 months since I let my buddy use them. I hate golf.

so it wasn't an alone time thing.

tem said...

so wife of friend A wants Meiz's balls, but friend B pulls her off of meiz?

El Padrino said...

nice post wussbag

El Padrino said...

You're an easy target, and in the 80s kids my age had parents that were born into segregation.

lol

Blue said...

i've nerve* seen a black person in any of meiz's videos

tem said...

that's because they know not to fuck with him.

Aitch said...

Most of this post made me just shake my head.

El Padrino said...

lil woe for minute

i was so tired this morning i peed sitting down

then never picked my boxers up and brushed my teeth standing up, boxers around ankles brushing teeth hunched over

cmep peeked in and started cracking up

Beth said...

I think you need to learn to differentiate gagging sounds from "cracking up" sounds.

El Padrino said...

Great Whites spotted off Mass.

O:FB

El Padrino said...

what you want me to gag you?

El Padrino said...

just know this

Russians are the worst people on earth.

Mize said...

I'm just out here having fun.

Mize said...

"so wife of friend A wants Meiz's balls, but friend B pulls her off of meiz?"


No so sure he knew she was on it, but yeah. That's the end result. Good times.

Aitch said...

"Great Whites spotted off Mass.

O:FB"

Padrino strikes again.

Blue said...

"Great Whites spotted off Mass.

O:FB:

jesus

Blue said...

double dragon

El Padrino said...

i dont see that today

El Padrino said...

you know the deal

kod said...

"Did I really pick up someone named Trevor Plouffe in my $ league today?"


He's been on a tear, one of the pleasant AAA surprises from the past couple months

I shouldn't really be *that* surprised though, he was a 1st round draft pick, but it still seems strange to see a guy named "Plouffe" hit for power

El Padrino said...

supreme court is busy this morning

El Padrino said...

photo finish

why would they choose the coin toss

also in readint this, the USOC spokesperson has an unfortunate last name

El Padrino said...

jesus bro your in PR change your name

never gonna get it said...

Since 1976, 1,531 Chicago politicians have been convicted of corruption.

El Padrino said...

blake lively looking banging in Savages

Blue said...

blake lively looking banging


period

Blue said...

freak would approve of that message

Blue said...

french are pussies

never gonna get it said...

Former Penn State defensive coordinator Jerry Sandusky will appeal his convictions on numerous counts of child sexual abuse, a member of his defense team says.



Fuck off, bro. Just go away. Stop making those kids relive that shit

El Padrino said...

did you hear his lawyers presser after the verdict?

shocked no one has killed either of these men

ToddPacker said...

post vacation tps sucks. had a presentation first thing this morning and now playing ketchup for missing 10 days.... woe

Blue said...

they aren't kids anymore

El Padrino said...

but how was it

ToddPacker said...

Alaska was fuckin grate.... scenery never got old. mountains, glaciers, bears, whales and i saw a drug bust in victoria.... shit was like a live cops episode

Beth said...

Did you see that at the jail the other inmates apparently started singing Pink Floyd to Sandusky?

"hey teacher, leave those kids alone"

Hilarity.

Blue said...

oh sandusky is going to get raped many times over in prison

Beth said...

TP, where exactly did you go in AK? A few years ago a friend and I went to Anchorage and Denali Park. Best vacation ever.

Blue said...

didn't you read, he went to vancouver

Blue said...

and seattle

Spaceman Spiff said...

dat ass peek

ToddPacker said...

Skagway, Juneau and Victoria plus we spent a few days in Seattle

ToddPacker said...

"didn't you read, he went to vancouver"

no Vancouver, I fucked that up. we went to Victoria

never gonna get it said...

post vacation tps sucks. had a presentation first thing this morning and now playing ketchup for missing 10 days.... woe



Where'd you go?

/LP

Mize said...

When in doubt, whip it out is still the preferred method, right Beth? I'm just checking the score.

ToddPacker said...

rented a jeep in Skagway and drove to BC and yukon.... I beat the shit out of that jeep. dirt roads. I was doing 360s and shit. cmtp was not happy

never gonna get it said...

Did the hotel have a nice corch*?

Beth said...

"When in doubt, whip it out is still the preferred method, right Beth? I'm just checking the score."

Depends on how drunk she is.

El Padrino said...

nice peek

ToddPacker said...

"Did the hotel have a nice corch*?"

it was ok. we had two cabins on the cruise ship. I stayed with sotp most nights

ToddPacker said...

"nice peek"

^^^^^^^^^^^

El Padrino said...

likka bill please

Mize said...

"Depends on how drunk she is."


So yes. Thanks and regards.

ToddPacker said...

"likka bill please"

$275.... had a friend with me who has 3 year old twins and cmtp watch them a lot during the day so when we went out boozing at night he bought most rounds

El Padrino said...

yeah that's not bad

Mize said...

Cruises are lame, bro


/LP

El Padrino said...

breastuarants

Blue said...

BREAST

Blue said...

i think i'd bone carly rae jepsen...something about those bangs

Spaceman Spiff said...

"i think i'd bang carly rae jepsen...something about those bangs"

*fized

Mize said...

Yeah, I'd put it in her too

Mize said...

Maybe a little DP?

never gonna get it said...

no idear who that is

Spaceman Spiff said...

call her, maybe

never gonna get it said...

oh, ok

never gonna get it said...

now i got that song in my head. Thanks

Blue said...

she's only one of the greatest pop singers...like of our generation.

/chris farley

Blue said...

monday's suck

never gonna get it said...

A Chinese soccer fan died at his home after going 11 nights without sleep as he watched every single Euro 2012 game from Poland and Ukraine.





Fucking soccer

El Padrino said...

Fucking gooks

El Padrino said...

dat biel ass

fork and knife please

Beth said...

LSU clearly says it's not too soon.

Blue said...

"LSU clearly says it's not too soon."

love that they fucked up then/than

Blue said...

classic SEC education right thar

El Padrino said...

happens to the best of us

never gonna get it said...

Biel is nice

El Padrino said...

LeBron James, Dwyane Wade and Chris Bosh are going to sit down with Oprah. This exciting news just came across the wire, and, according to the press release, the Heat’s Big Three will be “talking about the challenges leading up to their historic win, their friendships on and off the court and the women in their lives.”

fucking orpah makes me vomit

Spaceman Spiff said...

70's show redhead now a blonde titty

other girl has nicer tits

Blue said...

yeah, she's been blonde for quite a while now, what's up with that?

not that i'm complaining

El Padrino said...

flapjacks

Blue said...

yeah, that's what happens when you have real tits...and they're big

Spaceman Spiff said...

"A former Baylor University basketball player is in the McLennan County Jail, charged in an alleged extortion attempt against Heisman Trophy winner Robert Griffin.
Richard Khamir Hurd, was arrested by FBI agents Friday night"

wonder what he has on him

Blue said...

"wonder what he has on him"

he's been showering with young boys

Blue said...

"wonder what he has on him"

he's victim #8

Blue said...

"wonder what he has on him"

he stole a taco

Blue said...

"wonder what he has on him"

he was the other shooter on the grassy knoll

never gonna get it said...

yeah, that's what happens when you have real tits...and they're big



True story

/H

Blue said...

Jared Sullinger got snubbed by the NBA for the draft party

good thing he want back to school for his sophomore year

El Padrino said...

sports guy slobbing lebrons knob like whoa

Blue said...

swimming

Blue said...

rockies were 2-13 in interleague play...worst in baseball since the pirates in 2010

Blue said...

i mean worst record ever, tied only by the pirates in 2010.

never gonna get it said...

Sullinger's dad has a suite name

El Padrino said...

beth how do you feel about the saudi woman* getting a shot at the olympics?

Beth said...

Is that a trick question?

Anything that helps move along women's rights I'm for of course.

El Padrino said...

hope they all lose then get killed upon return for embarrassing the country

s

El Padrino said...

finally saw the real sports thing

holy holly mangold batman

never gonna get it said...

A 25-year-old man from Israel jumped to his death from the Eiffel Tower after thwarting security measures and climbing the Paris monument at twilight, authorities said Monday.

El Padrino said...

it's amazing how much better the doughnut plant is compared to dunkin donuts

El Padrino said...

or to any other donut ive had

fractured prune close second

El Padrino said...

madonna dying would be great

never gonna get it said...

Amare is a tard

Beth said...

"madonna dying would be great"

Who hurt you?

El Padrino said...

she's a petulant cunt rag

Blue said...

the video for that payphone song is fucking retarded

never gonna get it said...

Outfielder Marlon Byrd, who admitted to working with the man whose center triggered a federal investigation of steroids use and distribution among athletes, has tested positive for performance-enhancing drugs.

The league announced on Monday that the free agent has received a 50-game suspension after testing positive for Tamoxifen.

While with the Chicago Cubs in spring training, Byrd admitted that was the only player in baseball who still worked with Victor Conte. His Bay Area Laboratory Co-Operative was at the center of the steroid scandal surrounding Barry Bonds, among others.

"I'm always going to watch what I take. I'm not going to say I have a bull's-eye on my back, but I think a lot of people are waiting for me to get my first positive test and miss 50 games. They'd like that just so they can say, 'We told you so.' I know that won't happen. I know I'm clean. I know the supplements I take are clean. I'm going to make sure of that."



Oops

El Padrino said...

estrogen?

never gonna get it said...

Tamoxifen blocks the actions of estrogen and is used to treat and prevent some types of breast cancer

El Padrino said...

aitch

never gonna get it said...

That was a cnp

Blue said...

all of it?

never gonna get it said...

all of it

ToddPacker said...

"good thing he want back to school for his sophomore year"

blue, you sure you don't have an SEC education?

Blue said...

that was intended to mean, he was a top 3 pick if he came out last year...smart to go back to school, huh?

never gonna get it said...

want back to school

Mize said...

I still have the shakes from Saturday

never gonna get it said...

The first time I got my pee pee touched was cool, too


S

ToddPacker said...

"want back to school"

yeah, you ep'd the want/went

ToddPacker said...

"The first time I got my pee pee touched was cool, too"

sounds like Sandusky talk

never gonna get it said...

sounds like Sandusky talk




Thought about that after I posted it

El Padrino said...

jenna jameson arrested for dui after slamming pole

jilarity

Blue said...

ah shit.

i read that thing twelven times and didn't notice the want/went

fucking SEC

El Padrino said...

happens to the best of us

El Padrino said...

piece

never gonna get it said...

happens to the best of us



And LP

Mize said...

We're totally not having Summit III, hey?

Mize said...

Let's go to Bemidji

Blue said...

it's june bro

Mize said...

Party at my family's cabin this weekend. Everybody's invited.

never gonna get it said...

Anderson Silva on Monday responded unlike ever before to rival middleweight Chael Sonnen, when he promised to "break his face and break every one of his teeth" in their upcoming rematch at UFC 148 on July 7.
"What I'm going to do inside the Octagon is something that's going to change the image of the sport," Silva said. "I'm going to make sure every one of his teeth are broken, his arms are broken, his legs are broken.
"He's not going to be able to walk out of the Octagon by himself. I can guarantee that."



I will bet that he doesn't do that

never gonna get it said...

Party at my family's cabin this weekend. Everybody's invited.




Hmmm. Cmk is gone this weekend

never gonna get it said...

Maybe she's going to the mize cabin instead of Chicago.

Aitch said...

Is CMK truly Cubs chick???

Aitch said...

I thought we had decided on Nashville? What about Atlantic City?

Aitch said...

First weekend of October. How does that work for everyone?

never gonna get it said...

Is CMK truly Cubs chick???



Goddamn!

Mize said...

BOOM!

Mize said...

H is the LoV Columbo

Mize said...

I can make the 1st weekend in October work

never gonna get it said...

I told tem that I'm probably 0% for summit 3

Mize said...

Booooooo

Mize said...

CMK's pregnant, isn't she?

never gonna get it said...

CMK's pregnant, isn't she?



Ha, no. But that was tem's first question too

never gonna get it said...

I have a golf trip with my buddies in August, another trip with cmk in September. Ain't gonna have another $600+ for the summit

Mize said...

Lets go to Pittsburgh then. Iggles/Steelers weekend in the Burgh.

Mize said...

"I have a golf trip with my buddies in August, another trip with cmk in September. Ain't gonna have another $600+ for the summit"


Yikes. Where's the golf trip?

never gonna get it said...

Yikes. Where's the golf trip?



Northern AZ

never gonna get it said...

8 of us going. Leave Saturday morning, drink, golf, drink, visit all the bars that night, drink, come back on Sunday afternoon

never gonna get it said...

Wall

tem said...

I told Keith blue would pay for him.

tem said...

Early October is bad for me. I'd love to see September or late October. I don't care where it is.

Mize said...

September again works for me

never gonna get it said...

Halloween in Athens Ohio

Mize said...

I don't know what's in Athens

Blue said...

the parthenon

tem said...

athens has ohio university and a huge halloween college party.

tem said...

go

Mize said...

I'm craving Jimmy Johns right now. Two Slim 1s, pickle, BBQ chips. Put chips on sando, crunch up, bite pickle, bite sando, chew.

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino