Wednesday, June 27, 2012

El Pad Q&A: Blue Edition

Did your parents strike you when growing up?
Strike me as what? If you're asking did my parents hit me, yeah, they hit me. I think the last time I got hit I was 12 or 13. They didn't beat me, but that's how they disciplined, sometimes they hit me with stuff, like a belt or something. I didn't think anything of it. Oh how times have changed.

Did they run the AC in the summer?
Fuck yeah, what kind of clown question is this? When else would you run the AC? Us rich folk ran the AC in the winter just to be dicks. Honestly I don't remember having a house that didn't have central air. My grandpa taught HVAC repair at Boise State, and two of my uncles went into that line of work, so we always had AC. On a side note, my grandpa only had a window unit in their family room, that always kind of struck me as funny, but he had like 4 refrigerators and 3 freezers and an icemaker.

Do you remember your first kiss?
Yep, it was in a lawnmower shed or whatever in somebody's back yard. Kirsten Von Allmen, 6th grade. It was the talk of school the next day because not many people were "frenching" back then. I know you guys probably don't know what that is, it's when you kiss with your tongue. I'll teach you some west coast vocab later if you want.

What was your mother's best dish?
1987 Chevy Celebrity. Hand me down, was my dad's "work car". Used to race the shit out of that car in highschool, and in my opinion I was unbeatable. Dropped it into a canal and roughed it up pretty bad. Sold it to my cousin for $200.

Best friend?
Don't really have one. I moved around a ton growing up so I don't have that one friend who i've known since i was 6. I have a buddy that i went to college with that like a brother to me, but he still lives in Northern Idaho, and i'm not real good with the "keeping up".

How many fights have you gotten into?
0...exciting huh? I never met an idiot that I couldn't talk my way out of a fight with. I've had a lot of people who wanted to hit me. I did get smacked once by some cowboy in Boise. I was in my car "cruising" looking for chicks, and i was being a smart ass, so he walked up to the car at a red light and tried to smack me. I laughed at him and drove off.

Have you committed a crime?
Yep. I was a shoplifter when I was younger (junior high). I stole everything. That's what happens when your best friend is black, he teaches you shit like that. Plus the people that were watching for shoplifters always watched the one black guy in the neighborhood, he was a great distraction, so i'd split my burgled items. I stole probably half of my baseball card collection. We used to have fun with the clerk at 7-11, we'd pick stuff up in plain view and put it in our pockets. Then go towards the back of the store and drop it. Then they'd accuse us and search us, and we wouldn't have shit. We'd laugh..the black dude always threatened to call the cops and report them for being racist (which is probably a crime).

What was your first job?
I worked at a Jack in the Box for a minute after I graduated from Highschool. Learned how to make a mean ass pizza working at Roundtable my first year in collitch.

Favorite sports moment?
I don't really have one. I guess watching Matt Holliday slide into home in the play-in game a few years ago to beat the Padres. He probably didn't touch home, but the ump called him safe. Two personal sports moments I have engrained in my memory, playing in the CA state championship game as a senior. It was D-2, but that year the conference we played in had a team in the D-1 and D-3 championship game as well. Our conference ruled Nor-Cal that year. FYI D-1 in CA is the highest, they don't do that 5A crap or whatever. We played in the Oakland Coliseum or whatever it's called now...fun as hell, but we lost. JR Henderson was on the other team, not sure if anyone other than Tyler would know who he is. The other personal sports moment, 12 years old, in the baseball playoffs semi-final game. We're down 2 in the bottom of the 6th inning. There's a runner on 2nd, and I smash a ball to deep right field. With the roll the ball probably went 450 feet (we didn't have a fence at that field). I take off and run as fast as I can, even though I could have walked around the bases. I missed 2nd base as i'm rounding the bags, I hesitate slightly but keep going. The ump sees me hesitate, and so did the other coach. Because i'm too dumb to go back, i score and tie the game, only to be called out on appeal. We lose by a run, and don't get to play in the championship game... fuck.

Are you afraid of anything?
Stupid fuckers with guns...that's about it.

Any Regrets?
Nope. "No Regrets, that's my motto. That and everyone wang chung tonight." Bonus points for anyone who knows what movie and what actor said that. But that's the truth, I don't regret anything. I know i've made mistakes and fucked up plenty, but i've never looked back and thought, damn, i wish I wouldn't have done that. Of course i've never been to jail, or gotten into any serious trouble, so i've got that going for me.



145 comments:

Beth said...

"What was your mother's best dish?

1987 Chevy Celebrity."


Wow, your mom cooked cars? Impressive.

(looks like a very bad cNp to me)

Beth said...

But kudos for continuing the q&a streak, even if you did screw it up.

tem said...

West coast vocab was hilarity.

Beth said...

Yeah, where was the temhio vocab from yesterday's post????

Mize said...

"Yeah, where was the temhio vocab from yesterday's post????"


Bizon, not Bison.

/tem

Mize said...

wall

El Padrino said...

good post

El Padrino said...

never thought to put a personal sports moment that i was involved in

smat

tem said...

bizon is north dakota aka south canada talk.

El Padrino said...

im sure you guys covered the dumb bcs playoff thing

El Padrino said...

cmep thinks if you see one bug you have a bug problem

tem said...

temhio vocab:

pop = soda

ohio state = an excuse for any sort of activity. if a cop pulls you over and asks why you are speeding you say "i'm late for a fundraiser for ohio state" and then you get a warning.

2B = a chick who looks good now, but is destined to be fat. there is no amount of working out she can do to stop from getting big. it's genetics.

hitting that = means you are having sex with a girl. as in "yeah i am hitting that regularly"

El Padrino said...

think hitting that is universal

Mize said...

"im sure you guys covered the dumb bcs playoff thing"


Actually, no. Because nobody cares.

Mize said...

"cmep thinks if you see one bug you have a bug problem"


Jeebus

tem said...

"think hitting that is universal"

you mean like going together?

and frenching?

tem said...

why is the BCS playoff dumb?

El Padrino said...

going when = making out

is something i never heard outside of ny

going when = dating is universal

El Padrino said...

"why is the BCS playoff dumb?"

some sort of committee picks the teams right?

that's dumb

tem said...

who should pick the teams?

Mize said...

why is the BCS +1* dumb?

*fized

El Padrino said...

"who should pick the teams?"

not old white people

that's who

Blue said...

maybe bomani jones is on the committee

Mize said...

Boosters. Definitely boosters.

tem said...

el pad circa 2012 "not old white people"

el pad circa 2040 "why aren't old white people picking this?"

never gonna get it said...

Who picks the at large teams for the bball tourney?

tem said...

i need to get stephen a. smith's address. i want to send him a sympathy card for having to work so much with skip bayless. poor stephen a. smith.

Blue said...

david stern likes stephen A

Blue said...

editors note: totally forgot, i'd replace the Boise State, hook and ladder and statue of liberty in the fiesta bowl for the Matt Holliday slide.

El Padrino said...

what about the ian johnson proposal?

El Padrino said...

what about the kordell stewart hail mary?

El Padrino said...

rockies ws run?

El Padrino said...

that was pretty suite

Blue said...

kordell stewart was before i lived here, so didn't give a shit about it

I turned the TV off and went to bed before the ian johnson proposal

rockies WS run was fun, that's why i picked the Matt Holliday slide, there isn't a memorable moment really from the playoffs that year after the play-in game.

tem said...

what about watching Honus Wagner play? /tp

Blue said...

Matt Holliday thing was the coolest sports event I ever attended though, for sure

tem said...

wall

Tyler said...

JR Henderson!!!

Spaceman Spiff said...

aroldis save celebration GIF

Spaceman Spiff said...

hilarity GIF

Spaceman Spiff said...

"But this coming NFL season, Berman will try something he’s never done before — call an NFL game.

He and analyst Trent Dilfer have been assigned to the booth for the San Diego Chargers-Oakland Raiders game as part of ESPN’s season-opening Monday Night Football doubleheader on September 10."

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Stern awarded the Celtics a 2013 second-round pick from Oklahoma City as compensation for Green’s heart complications"

never gonna get it said...

On average, a Facebook user generates 3.55 comments/“likes” per day.

Spaceman Spiff said...

"An elderly man was arrested Monday night after a neighbor's fart allegedly drove him to threaten him with a gun, police said."

never gonna get it said...

Now that LeBron James has done it, Carmelo Anthony is ready to shed the label of one of the best players in the NBA without a title.
Soon.
"I believe that my time is coming," Anthony said Tuesday morning at Madame Tussauds New York during an unveiling of his own wax figure. "I'm a big believer in that, whether it's this year or next year. I truly believe that my time is coming and we're going to keep playing for that."




AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

El Padrino said...

chapman

beanball

Spaceman Spiff said...

uncle charlie GIF

El Padrino said...

i vaguely recall jr henderson and assuming tyler would no it im guessing

ucla?

El Padrino said...

sick curve

El Padrino said...

im googling the movie line

still havent thought of it

El Padrino said...

out cold

never saw it

Spaceman Spiff said...

out cold prank clip

Blue said...

you need to see it...one of the greatest unknown movies ever

Blue said...

first thing i ever saw zach galifianakis in


and it's got Lee Majors

El Padrino said...

saw that once before and i think i saw it here it was linked

never gonna get it said...

i vaguely recall jr henderson and assuming tyler would no it im guessing




Nos* english

Blue said...

Yep, he went to UCLA, played for a few teams in the NBA, i think the grizz

Blue said...

sorry he is JR Sakuragi now...hilarity

El Padrino said...

turns out he is not JR Henderson anymore

never gonna get it said...

rough touch

Blue said...

is troy smith still in the NFL?

Spaceman Spiff said...

just got waived yesterday i think

never gonna get it said...

I thought of Duke when I saw the name JR Henderson. Was there a Henderson that played at Doooook

Spaceman Spiff said...

gerald

Spaceman Spiff said...

re:T.O.

"The woman shopping the pics claims the two met on Twitter ... and after several conversations, the two went to Skype, where they engaged in a cyber-sexual relationship ... and apparently, the women snapped a few action shots for good measure. "

Spaceman Spiff said...

eltardo pre-draft article up

Mize said...

*sick curve, playa

/LP'd

El Padrino said...

too wordy

ToddPacker said...

"Because nobody cares."

not accurate

Blue said...

"not accurate"

TP cares, he wants to make sure Urban gets his title shot

ToddPacker said...

"TP cares, he wants to make sure Urban gets his title shot"

not accurate

never gonna get it said...

I think I'm gonna name my next dog Meyer

ToddPacker said...

"I think I'm gonna name my next dog Meyer"

hopefully that dog shits all over your house

never gonna get it said...

It looks like a dog shit all over your face

Blue said...

that dog will just quit after a few succesful years because he needs to spend more time with family

never gonna get it said...

I didn't mean that

Blue said...

then he'll show up at somebody elses house a few weeks later

Blue said...

i didn't mean quit, i meant, runaway

Aitch said...

"On average, a Facebook user generates 3.55 comments/“likes” per day."

Seems low.
/Jug

never gonna get it said...

ha

never gonna get it said...

Jug never said that

/LP

Aitch said...

Did we know that Vince McMahon's wife is running for Senate in CT?

never gonna get it said...

She ran in 2008 didn't she?

Blue said...

let me know when Jim McMahon's wife runs for something

Aitch said...

Did she?

never gonna get it said...

Looks like 2010, not 2008

El Padrino said...

she ran and lost retard

never gonna get it said...

that wasn't nice

never gonna get it said...

A celebrity boxing promoter is hoping to capitalize on the alleged nightclub brawl between singer Chris Brown and rapper Drake by offering them $1 million each to take their beef to the ring.
The promoter, Damon Feldman, also says he is asking singer Rihanna to be a ring girl at the bout, but acknowledged she'll likely pass.

never gonna get it said...

wall

kod said...

Just as an FYI, I have completed the El Pad Q&A, and it's ready to post if a day comes up where a spot start would be helpful.

tem said...

you can post it next tuesday if a day doesn't come up between now and then.

El Padrino said...

kod's q&a will be magical

El Padrino said...

post it tw jug is getting married or something like that

Mize said...

Kod is tomorrow.

kod said...

"kod's q&a will be magical"


eh, I think everyone else's were better (ns)

kod said...

ok, I'll post it for tomorrow then

never gonna get it said...

mize, you want me to post mine en Lunes?

tem said...

i am equally as excited to read beth's Q&A.

i am assuming she would do one tomorrow.

Aitch said...

Yea, Kod, don't deprive us of Beth's Q & A

tem said...

i am sure both would be good reading.

El Padrino said...

beths is posting pics to accompany the post too right?

El Padrino said...

in you face keef

tem said...

i don't think we know if beth is doing a Q&A.

i assumed so because she seemed to like them a lot and was scheduled to post.

could be a bad assumption. most of mine usually are.

tem said...

definitely want to see kod's Q&A though.

never gonna get it said...

in you face keef



what?

never gonna get it said...

nice walkoff, LP

never gonna get it said...

Stupid

Beth said...

"i don't think we know if beth is doing a Q&A"

Well I was planning to, but like everyone else really want to see Kod's. So kod you can go tomorrow and I'll do one later.

But either way is fine by me.

tem said...

my vote is beth tomorrow and kod to follow and then whoever else does one to follow.

El Padrino said...

andy petite broken ankle

El Padrino said...

do it friday i dont give a crap

never gonna get it said...

Can we go a Friday post without gems?

El Padrino said...

Has the fifth season of the Food Network's Next Iron Chef started shooting in Las Vegas? The Las Vegas Sun reports that host Alton Brown, judge Simon Majumdar, and the latest winner, Geoffrey Zakarian, were seen having a powwow session over lunch at Wolfgang Puck's Bar & Grill in the MGM Grand. No details on which chefs are competing, but apparently the theme is "Redemption" which means previous competitors could probably be in the mix.


suite

El Padrino said...

"Can we go a Friday post without gems?"

you'll have to vacation starting 4th so no 6th and 13th

three weeks is alot if she posts friday

up to you

s

El Padrino said...

Hailed as the "first and only cheese topped bun burger," the sandwich consists of a classic chicken patty with garlic parmesan dressing and a bun with melted cheese draped across the top. The sandwich has been released in KFC Philippines stores as a follow up to the success of the abominable Double Down.

Mize said...

"mize, you want me to post mine en Lunes?"


Go for it

El Padrino said...

The Man With the Iron Fists follows “a blacksmith who makes weapons for a small village and has to defend himself and his fellow villagers.”

i'm in

Rza debut as a director

El Padrino said...

the first movie still from that movie is a guy with iron fists striking a woman and her eyeball comes flyiong out

kod said...

"my vote is beth tomorrow and kod to follow and then whoever else does one to follow."


Yeah, sorry Beth, didn't know you planned for tomorrow. I'll do some more revisions and plan to post sometime next week....EPs Friday gems should not be skipped either (ns)

Beth said...

Ok, tomorrow it is then. If I can figure it out I may even post a (g-rated) pic too.

El Padrino said...

suite

never gonna get it said...

They still don't have a way that you can post it without someone copying it


(S)

El Padrino said...

jesus mets up 17-1

bout time they layeth the smacketh down on the cubs candy asses

El Padrino said...

piece

Beth said...

"They still don't have a way that you can post it without someone copying it"

With that one other pic I posted, Steve promised me he could disable right-click on it but then wimped out when he realized it would take real work.

ns

Mize said...

Don't worry, EP's the only one that has it, and he's harmless.

Mize said...

Tem missed my facebook joke. Dah well!

tem said...

i am thisclose to making a facebook page for el pad

tem said...

"Tem missed my facebook joke"

this is probably true

tem said...

i don't know what the photo of the day is

tem said...

today is back to the future day.

apparently this is the day they travelled to in the future.

Mize said...

"apparently this is the day they travelled to in the future."


11/5/1955

tem said...

6/27/2012

never gonna get it said...

8/67/5309

never gonna get it said...

wall

kod said...

"Everyone knows about our second-chance contests on LuckyMN.com but did you know that we give away a lot of prizes absolutely FREE?! Watch the video to see how it's done. Suite!"


ok, which one of you is writing for the Minnesota State Lottery Website?

Spaceman Spiff said...

dodgers didn't score a run while getting swept by the giants, 3 game series

never gonna get it said...

good job, good effort

Spaceman Spiff said...

suite mike trout catch just now

home run wuz robbed

ToddPacker said...

nice catch

Aitch said...

They traveled to 2015 in back to the future II

ToddPacker said...

song pop needs a better rotation

tem said...

Facebook had posts that said today was the day they travelled to. Facebook never lies.

Beth said...

New Q&A up.

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino