Tuesday, May 01, 2012

now my side hurts

Hurt my back, but now my side hurts. I am getting old woe. New house is nice. Cmtem keeps opening the blinds though, then I walk around in my underwear. I need her to quit leaving blinds open. The Indian (with a dot, sorry Kod) neighbor grandma will probably die if she sees my fat ass walking around. I did some draft grades. A, A, A, C, B, D, F, F, B, B, B, C, C, C and A. Back the the Christina comment from H.....I think she is hot, but she shouldn't wear things that accentuate her ass. Her breast feature is her boobs. They need motorized. Early on in the show she was shown them off too much, yeah it is possible. She can tone it down from that and be mega hot again. Ceelo is one weird dude. Oh yeah, I am going on a cruise Thursday . I need a spot start next Tuesday. I'm going to the Mediterranean. It should be fun. Maybe I'll try to help out the Greek economy. I hope the paragraph shit works today. I've been doing a shit job keeping up with sports. I have no idea what baseball teams are good. I assume the Pirates are doing great. I should look that shit up. And finally the key to Romance is having money. You don't even need to spend it. Just have it and then you are romantic. A girl would rather see $500 in your wallet than hear you rattle off some poem or bring her flowers. Of course they want both, but if you have the cash then you only need to buy flowers like once a year.

248 comments:

1 – 200 of 248   Newer›   Newest»
Beth said...

"Back the the Christina comment from H.....I think she is hot"

I didn't realize this was an issue, I think she's clearly hot.

Beth said...

"Of course they want both, but if you have the cash then you only need to buy flowers like once a year."

Maybe flowers only once a year, but jewelry many more times throughout the year.

ns

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

xtina is ok, great boobs, but sometimes her triple chin gets in the way

Beth said...

You're looking at her chin with the amount of cleavage she always has showing?

Hmmmmm.

tem said...

She's cut down on the chins. She is down to a double.

tem said...

"but jewelry many more times throughout the year."


true. what's the slogan Family Guy did for diamonds?

"Diamonds, she'll pretty much have to"

Beth said...

"Diamonds, she'll pretty much have to"

Very true, although actually I'd change "have" to "want".

tem said...

is the Office still on?

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

"You're looking at her chin with the amount of cleavage she always has showing?"

sometimes those chins hang down into the cleavage

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

speaking of cleavage yum

sofia vergara

El Padrino said...

i want those monster tits in my face right now

El Padrino said...

aguileras face looks like she is hiding nuts for the winter

she looks like Theodore if you know what im sayin

she was top 5 in my book, WAS

Keef said...

speaking of cleavage yum




That's fake and you know it

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

they look real to me

El Padrino said...

you mean fake pic

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

pic looks real too

it's in mexican GQ or something

El Padrino said...

"I am so mad at myself right now, I want to apologize to the fans and my team, not proud of my actions, headed home for a new start." - Amare

No problem Amare, just give back half of the 100MM the Knicks gave you and we'll be good.

El Padrino said...

he was a fucking waste on the court anyway

melo literally did everything last night

Jugdish said...

Wall

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

"melo literally did everything last night"

except pass

Aitch said...

" oh this must be the giy boston is talking about"

You do realize that they found most of those tweets came from people outside of Boston, right? Never let the truth get in the way of a good story though.

El Padrino said...

but they were Bruins fans

Jugdish said...

Never let the truth get in the way of a good story though.

^^^^

/the media

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

"You do realize that they found most of those tweets came from people outside of Boston, right? Never let the truth get in the way of a good story though."

what does that even matter?

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

are you saying that people in boston don't twitter?

tem said...

they twittah

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

H killed LOV

Spaceman Spiff said...

dat ass

Spaceman Spiff said...

should i change my pic, i'm outside of DC

Spaceman Spiff said...

someone please advice* me on these may day protests, they best not fuck with my path to staples

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

you don't get to comment about anything the skins do

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

or the lakers since you live in the OC

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

you're ok for the angels

Spaceman Spiff said...

mavs gave another game away, handed out free points at the end with bad fouls, then dirk doesn't touch the ball on the last 3 shots, shouldve wouldve couldve been up 2-0, making a 2 seed sweat though

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

occupy protests today huh?

Spaceman Spiff said...

angels suck

Spaceman Spiff said...

fucking poo holes playing like a poo hole

Spaceman Spiff said...

braun carried team spiff yesterday

Spaceman Spiff said...

dark knight rises official trailer 3

oh yea

kod said...

“New stadium yes! Let’s not become the third Dakota.”


this whole not becoming the 3rd Dakota angle has been working surprisingly well in getting the stadium moving


sorry ND, SD...we like you, but we don't want to be like you

Spaceman Spiff said...

amare GIF

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

too bad keith doesn't get to pick the movie in July

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

i figure that Amare saw the sign that said "in case of emergency, break glass"

and he figured the knicks were in emergency mode.

El Padrino said...

what a knuckle on dat ass

El Padrino said...

holy shit dark knight

El Padrino said...

occupy protests today huh?

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

Keef said...

You do realize that they found most of those tweets came from people outside of Boston, right?




H is on a roll with the smat* comments the last 2 days

El Padrino said...

Medical experts say there is plenty of room in the stomach area of the body for surgically implanted explosives. "The surgeon would open the abdominal cavity and literally implant the explosive device in amongst the internal organs," explained Dr. Mark Melrose, a New York emergency medicine specialist.

Ibrahim al-Asiri, have been designing body bombs with no metal parts to get past airport security.

Asiri placed a bomb inside the rectal cavity of his own brother for a suicide mission aimed at Saudi Arabian intelligence chief Prince Muhammad bin Nayef in 2009. That bomb exploded prematurely, officials said, and the only casualty was Asiri's brother 23-yearold brother Abdullah.

El Padrino said...

"100 black teens beat white couple in Norfolk..."

im outraged

Keef said...

but yeah, let everyone through without checking them

El Padrino said...

“No work, no school, no shopping, now housework, no compliance,” reads a posting on one OWS-related website. “If you can’t strike call in sick. If you can’t call in sick hold a slow down.”

hilarity

Beth said...

Hilarity.

And in case you're skeptical like I was, Snopes verified this as real.

Keef said...

It takes 1,700 staff hours every year to count the Oscar ballots.

Beth said...

Meiz could do it in half that time.

Spaceman Spiff said...

dog GIF

El Padrino said...

i wanted to go out sat night to eat but the calendar says it's cinco de mayo

shit

Keef said...

Meiz could do it in half that time.



touche

Keef said...

i wanted to go out sat night to eat but the calendar says it's cinco de mayo



Are restaurants closed?

El Padrino said...

nah i judt dont want to deal with "special menus"

and i wanted mexican, let me take a look maybe the may 5th menu is bomb

El Padrino said...

also didnt want to deal with drunken retards it's like spanish st patricks day out there bro

El Padrino said...

amateur hour

Spaceman Spiff said...

gaffney cut

Spaceman Spiff said...

gonna be drunk all day watching NBA, UFC, then blake griffin/mosley, then mayweather/cotto

Keef said...

also didnt want to deal with drunken retards it's like spanish st patricks day out there bro



I hear ya

Keef said...

we're going to some Kentucky Derby party and then going out to some Mexican joint with one of cmk's friends & her husband

Keef said...

I hope csil doesn't go with us to the bar but odds are -160 that she will

Spaceman Spiff said...

we hope she does

El Padrino said...

man FINRA is such a pain in the ass

El Padrino said...

"gonna be drunk all day watching NBA, UFC, then blake griffin/mosley, then mayweather/cotto"

i have a shitty communion party during the day, hopefully there is some beer there, then later that night plans with the wife

El Padrino said...

damn that's derby day too

gotta get some bets in

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

neighborhood is having a block party for cinco de mayo, then some of our friends kids are having their first holy communion that night..

i plan to be lit up

Keef said...

dumb bitch needs to get the same treatment

Jugdish said...

then later that night plans with the wife


Tell her you love her...

Spaceman Spiff said...

jerk

Jugdish said...

jerk


Ha

Keef said...

Tell her you love her...


Why? She's not dying

/LP

El Padrino said...

did we read over the part i tell her i love her everyday?

Jugdish said...

did we read over the part i tell her i love her everyday?

Yes

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

"like what, i bought you salad yesterday"


that's just like saying i love you

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

"and that one time we did it on the balcony in miami"

ROMANCE

tem said...

"sorry ND, SD...we like you, but we don't want to be like you"

i'll have to ask cmtem what she thinks about MN using don't be a Dakota as a rallying cry.

Keef said...

did we read over the part i tell her i love her everyday?



awesome

tem said...

i'll be in Rome for cinco de mayo.

Jugdish said...

i'll be in Rome for cinco de mayo.


When in rome...

Use that line as often as you can there.

El Padrino said...

nobody cares tem

El Padrino said...

happy honeymoon

Keef said...

I care

El Padrino said...

cruises are awful IMO

Keef said...

I bet the Olive Garden in Rome is amazing

tem said...

el pad is just jealous

tem said...

i am just hoping that the waitresses in rome know what i want to eat even when i order something else. and i hope that the ambiance is nice and the atmosphere is good.

Keef said...

cruises are awful IMO



Only when the boat tips over

Keef said...

el pad is just jealous



all day

El Padrino said...

ex gf's sending me friend requests on facebook, told her ass to delete it

tem said...

i've never been on a cruise. cmtem has been on one before, she liked it.

i fear i will be really bored though.

hopefully i'll pull out some romance and get sexy time to prevent boredom.

Keef said...

how would your ex gf delete it?

El Padrino said...

jealous of what

na have fun im joking

tem said...

"ex gf's sending me friend requests on facebook"


so they just happened to be looking you up on the day your wife created the page?

they must miss that el pad dong.

Keef said...

i fear i will be really bored though.


spend all your time in the casino

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

"get sexy time to prevent boredom"

i've heard that sex on the balcony really tells a girl you love her

tem said...

i also am assuming they speak english on the cruise.

no idea though.

tem said...

we have a balcony. i will attempt sexy time there, but i am 99.999% sure cmtem will say there is no way.

Keef said...

so they just happened to be looking you up on the day your wife created the page?



There's only so much you can do in a double wide

Beth said...

"i've heard that sex on the balcony really tells a girl you love her"

As a little girl I grew up dreaming that one day a guy would love me enough to have sex on a balcony with me.

Mize said...

"Maybe flowers only once a year, but jewelry many more times throughout the year.

ns"


Um, NO.

El Padrino said...

"i've heard that sex on the balcony really tells a girl you love her"

you heard right jack

El Padrino said...

28th floor, Lowes Hotel
Ocean Drive, South Beach FLA

it was magical

El Padrino said...

"spend all your time in the casino"

inadvisable

Beth said...

"Um, NO."

Well I didn't mean for you mize, obviously what you and your gf have is working without jewelry. Oh wait...

Keef said...

Um, NO.


We get it, mize. You don't like girls

El Padrino said...

"There's only so much you can do in a double wide"

nah the brooklyn dimes not the ho's

El Padrino said...

"i fear i will be really bored though."

exactly

Beth said...

Mize only likes girls who require no attention or wooing.

So in other words, you're right Keef.

El Padrino said...

keef stop it im deleting the fucking thing


mad family up on this shit that i do not want to have any contact with

El Padrino said...

"Mize only likes girls who require no attention or wooing"

get a cat

/kod

El Padrino said...

i watched the sun set as she rode me like a bronco

Keef said...

Mize only likes girls who require no attention or wooing.



I'm trying to find a girl who likes guys who require attention and woeing

/H

El Padrino said...

SNAP

Keef said...

keef stop it im deleting the fucking thing



No your* not

Beth said...

I'm trying to find a girl who likes rock stars* who require attention and woeing

/H

*fixed

Keef said...

we shouldn't make fun of H. He's in pain and couchridden

tem said...

cmelp wants her man to be on FB so she can see what kind of hos try to friend him up.

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

did exgfH make him get snipped?

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

i didn't realize that she literally castrated him

Keef said...

cmelp wants her man to be on FB so she can see what kind of hos try to friend him up.



When you divorce her, then you can friend all the ex gfs that you want the next day

/H

Keef said...

keef stop it im deleting the fucking thing



Hey fucker, accept my friend request. I need a friend who is also friends with cmlp so it doesn't look so weird

Mize said...

"Mize only likes girls who require no attention or wooing."


Pretty much. I've found that they don't exist. Welp.

Mize said...

"mad family up on this shit that i do not want to have any contact with"


You can ignore them, you know.

Keef said...

did you read over the part i tell them i love them everyday?



/lp

tem said...

if i friend LP, he'll just have to compete on my news feed with H.

Keef said...

and rev

El Padrino said...

"You can ignore them, you know."

not if your friends
im deleting this shit when i get home

no time for this

El Padrino said...

"if i friend LP, he'll just have to compete on my news feed with H."

they must post alot

Keef said...

not if your friends


sure you can

Keef said...

Will Ferrell to Host SNL on May 12

El Padrino said...

well yeah you CAN ignore them but that creates sort of the problem is the point

Keef said...

I bet it sucks having a gang of people lined up to worship you

El Padrino said...

no no nooooooooooooooo

i just dont want to be bothered
why is that so hard to understand

Jugdish said...

cruises are awful IMO


Isnt it CoLOV that you've never been on a cruise?

I've been on four cruises and have had a good time on all of them. I'm not high maintenance like Lp though.

El Padrino said...

conversations that begin with

i saw you post on facebook

is like a nightmare

Keef said...

I bet it sucks to be so important that having people write on the internet to you is just a nuisance

*fized

El Padrino said...

Isnt it CoLOV that you've never been on a cruise?

"I've been on four cruises and have had a good time on all of them. I'm not high maintenance like Lp though."

high maintenance? i just would much rather fly to a place and be there for 5 days

i dont even know what that means

Keef said...

conversations that begin with

i saw you post on facebook

is like a nightmare




As opposed to comments that begin with

I saw your tweet

Keef said...

high maintenance snobs are the worse*

El Padrino said...

either keef is failing to understand my point of view on facebook or he is just busting balls relentlessly to keep procuring responses from me for entertainment purposes

El Padrino said...

"As opposed to comments that begin with

I saw your tweet"

my schizo aunt lisa is not on facebook, in fact nobody that friended me follows me on twitter

cept for you of course

Beth said...

Keef busting balls? That's so unlike him.

Keef said...

either keef is failing to understand my point of view on facebook or he is just busting balls relentlessly to keep procuring responses from me for entertainment purposes



You are an entertaining snob

El Padrino said...

yeah but it seems to border on real talk sometimes

maybe it's just me
i cant tell anymore

Keef said...

You and aitch are the easiest to get riled up, so I carry it too far with you two. You should know that by now.

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

so if you have a facebook account, and don't use it, what does it matter to you?

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

don't post shit, then you never have to have the

"i saw you posted" conversation

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

turn off the email notifications...done and done.

Keef said...

inconvenient

/LP

Keef said...

I'd rather spend hours bitching about it on a blog

/LP

Jugdish said...

inconvenient

/LP

wildly


/mize

El Padrino said...

then whats the point blue i might as well delete it

cuz then people will think im an asshole for not responding to any activity on facebook

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

people already think you're an asshole though

El Padrino said...

"You should know that by now."

i do know, but apart of me thinks some of the shit you say is your actual opinion

which is great i enjoy the reaction

just saying

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

not me, just people

El Padrino said...

"people already think you're an asshole though"

quite the opposite, i am of the opinion that i am everyones fancy

Keef said...

i am of the opinion that i am everyones fancy



no way

Keef said...

NY Guy just said that he's doing some speed dating this this Saturday. Good times

El Padrino said...

my sister probably thinks im a dick

Keef said...

He meets chicks on the internets all the time, too

El Padrino said...

easy this

El Padrino said...

what a loser

El Padrino said...

what? some of my favorite people in the world i met on the internet

/meiz

El Padrino said...

maxwell drew johnson

boy or girl?

Keef said...

H is banging friends' wives again

Mize said...

"well yeah you CAN ignore them but that creates sort of the problem is the point"


So tell them you don't want to be friends on facebook with them, if they ask. They don't need to get offended. That's what I do.

El Padrino said...

hulu to require you log in with your cable tv credentials

no more free shit

El Padrino said...

i'm done talking about facebook the way keef is done talking about phones

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

did he ever stop?

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

banging friends wives

Keef said...

Ironing Board Cover with Pad - Purple Floral


Tem, buy this for yug & fmyug

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

bryce harper whiffed in slow pitch softball

i would work him..WORK him at slow pitch

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

minnesota law makers are fucking this up

if you build a dome, or at least a retractable roof, you can host a superbowl, and a final 4.

although who would want to go to Minneapolis in February

tem said...

NY guy and csilok need to hook up

tem said...

"Tem, buy this for yug & fmyug"

1) i'm still waiting for my wedding invite

2) i'm holding out until they have a kid and i can buy nipple guards.

Keef said...

although who would want to go to Minneapolis in February



The same people that would go to New Jersey in February

Keef said...

NY guy and csilok need to hook up



He already said he would destroy that

tem said...

did he say destroy or work?

i guess true NYC guys say destroy and NJ guys saw work.

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

you could team them up.

then blog about it

tem said...

saw ihisiirl

Keef said...

you could team them up.

then blog about it




The internets would explode

Keef said...

sad

tem said...

your face is sad

Keef said...

1) i'm still waiting for my wedding invite




NO!

/fmjug

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

kid here had that spinal muscular atrophy

the authorities thought her parents were abusing her because she kept breaking her legs in multiple places, consistent with abuse.

The authorities took the baby away and were filing charges against the dad for child abuse/neglect..whatever else they could think of.

The day before they found out her diagnosis, the dad kilt the mom and himself...the baby died a few months later because of the disorder.

tem said...

that is sad, like keef's face

Keef said...

the dad kilt the mom and himself



Doesn't help his case against being abusive

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

"Doesn't help his case against being abusive"

yeah, the mom's parents of course were super pissed, but knew he felt like he was desparate and out of options. They had a court hearing the day he kilt them all.

uncle joey song about finding out the next day their daughter wasn't being abused.

El Padrino said...

uplifting

Keef said...

The kid was probably just a pain in the ass

/lp

Spaceman Spiff said...

why only charges against the dad?

Keef said...

why only charges against the dad?



The mom had broken legs too

s

El Padrino said...

sort of funny

trailer for sequel to knocked up i guess

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

"why only charges against the dad?"

they had investigated the mom, but the dad had admitted to maybe being to playful with her legs.

plus everyone knows, dads are the ones who break legs...moms just bleach eyes

Keef said...

NY guy: hey Keith, you want to go speed dating with me this weekend?

me: No. But I can hook you up with my crazy sister in-

NY guy: No that's ok

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 248   Newer› Newest»

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino