Monday, May 21, 2012

I'm Back



We put in the piers and the boat lift at the cabin this weekend.  For the first time I can remember, there weren't any big fights while doing it.  Possibly related, the old man finally just accepted me being the point man in the operation.  Seriously, he's a nincompoop.

I didn't watch any sports this weekend, outside the first 20 minutes of the Champions League final.  I had no idea Bayern was good again.  I don't know who won the match.  I miss playing FIFA with Keith.  Really, I just miss playing FIFA against anybody.  Once you understand how soccer works, it really is an awesome game to watch and play.  I've had my fair share of guttural "Wooooaaaaahhhh"s just playing a dumb game against Keith.  I get invested in shit like that.  I'm normally a lot more vocal playing games like that, but I'm still finishing up with getting my life together and can't be randomly hollering in somebody else's house.  I digress.

I start my new role with Sysco tomorrow.  I'm really excited about it for a multitude of reasons.  BULLET POINTS!
  • I already now and like the guys I'm going to be working with.(Aside from the dirty, filthy, non-English-speaking OTR drivers.)
  • I actually get to work with other men.  Being in an office that consists of all women can really tax your patience some times.  (What the fuck are you crying about?!? Fix it and get over it! You're not going to get fired. Jesus.)
  • NO MORE CUSTOMER SERVICE BULLSHIT.  I'd get into it, but that's one crazy wormhole I'm not sure I could write about while making sense the whole time.  Our customer service department is the patsy of the company.  Make a mistake?  Shift the blame until it makes it's way all the way down to CS.  And if you tried to blame me, you were going to be in a world of shit because I would figure out who the root of the problem was, and take that shit to their supervisor.  It made people very uncomfortable that I had absolutely no problem with going to the VP of Sales and the Executive VP of the company with day-to-day issues.  They wanted to know what was happening out there, and I was their fuckin' mole.  Unabashedly.  I helped the company make several big-ish procedural changes in the past 6 to 8 months and I hang my hat on that shit.
  • The hours.  My new hours are 6:30a to 3:00p.  That shit rules.  I can actually have more time to do stuff after work.  Wanna go to a baseball game?  Cool.  No rush, and I can even tailgate.  Need to claim some real estate for Friday night Summer Sounds concerts in the Burg?  No prob.  I'll put the canopy up in the park right after work.  CAN'T WAIT.
  •  I get 2 half-hour breaks to break up my day.  Not sure how I'll handle it yet, but it will be fine.  Breaks are at 9:00 & 12:00, and they are STRICT on the "No doing work whilst breaking" policy.  
  • I get to take pictures at work!  Granted, I'll only be photographing incoming damaged goods, but hey...I get to take pictures of stuff while on the clock.

I think that's enough of that for now.

THIS WEEK IN STUPID THINGS EL PADRINO SAID:
   "But for the most part there is absolutely no reason to eat salad.  None.  Especially if you drench it in fatty salad dressing.  It has no sustenence.  It's water, just worthless.  If you want a salad at least eat spinach raw.  It's nutritious.  Arugala.  Like iceberg lettuce is 94% water.  It does nothing, you can eat a a whole head of it and still be starving."

Broseph.  Are you serious?(NS)  Like, really?  No sustenance?  No nutrition?  Worthless?  I'm not sure what kind of salads you're eating in New York, but salads in Wisconsin(and other parts of the country, I'm sure) have things like carrots, and cucumbers, and olives, and ham, and turkey, and chicken, and tomatoes, and cheddar, and BACON, and feta, parmigiano, and romano, and mozzarella, and peperoncini, and onions, and bell peppers, and crab, and lobster, and broccoli, and cauliflower, and oranges, and walnuts, and almonds, and ANYTHING YOU FREAKING WANT.  A salad has a veritable cornucopia of food items that can be added.  Haven't you ever just had a salad as a meal?  That's a real thing.  If I'm not particularly hungry for anything specific, I'll throw together a 700 calorie salad.  It has meat, vegetables, dairy, and all that good stuff!  Try it some time.  You could even make a fruit salad.  Cut up some apples, slice some oranges, chunk a pineapple, cut up a grapefruit, throw in some grapes, maybe some cherries or cranberries, mix it up in a bowl with some plain or vanilla yogurt...That shit is delicious.  And you fancy yourself a foodie.  I'm taking that card away for awhile.  Step your game up.

Have a totally decent Monday, Beth and guys.


Learn how to tie a Palomar Knot, and therefore, a dropshot rig.

170 comments:

tem said...

Does meiz get paid hourly?

ToddPacker said...

nice work, mize.
good luck with the new position

Beth said...

Nice post Mize.

Is "THIS WEEK IN STUPID THINGS EL PADRINO SAID" going to be a weekly feature. If not, it should be.

Beth said...

Wall

I ♥ Kobe said...

where was the running diary of the billboard awards?

tem said...

billboard awards? who knew.

I ♥ Kobe said...

i'm sure Keith knew

El Padrino said...

whipty do

you eat a few carrots in a salad

salads are whack son

unless you dropping some steak or fries on that salad no thanks

El Padrino said...

bro bottom line

75% lettuce or any kind with anything that you mentioned added is still not a meal

El Padrino said...

tp how was nyc

El Padrino said...

"They wanted to know what was happening out there, and I was their fuckin' mole."

fucking RAT

El Padrino said...

"Once you understand how soccer works"

nice post freak

El Padrino said...

meiz

tem said...

lettuce is healthy because it is water.

I ♥ Kobe said...

the rockies must really like some prospect in next years draft, becuase they're tanking like, a tank without a parachute

Keef said...

Is "THIS WEEK IN STUPID THINGS EL PADRINO SAID" going to be a weekly feature. If not, it should be



Could be a daily feature

El Padrino said...

the rockies must really like some prospect in next years draft, becuase they're tanking like, a tank without a parachute

bro it's may

I ♥ Kobe said...

it's may?

they have the worst record in the NL

at this point, tank this shit and pick a good player

El Padrino said...

Tank for 4 months?

tem said...

yes

El Padrino said...

Castrate this fool

El Padrino said...

who is stupider, the dude or the ladies that lay down?

Spaceman Spiff said...

"I don't know who won the match."

was a suite match

end of regulation and PKs were HDH

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Castrate this fool"

take EPs advice and he will want you castrated

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Not sure how I'll handle it yet, but it will be fine. Breaks are at 9:00 & 12:00, and they are STRICT on the "No doing work whilst breaking" policy"

so you want to work on your break, WFT?

tem said...

speaking of that, i've never really heard of a company that doesn't really let you work during your break.

at least non-manual labor.

they usually say don't work during breaks, but then they are all about letting you do it.

Spaceman Spiff said...

"they usually say don't work during breaks, but then they are all about letting you do it."

this, it's in the company policy to cover their ass but there isn't a no work on your break officer anywhere

Spaceman Spiff said...

if i see someone even thinking about working on their break, i'll report them to the higher ups

/meiz

El Padrino said...

funny

Spaceman Spiff said...

"And you fancy yourself a foodie."

i don't see how not giving a shot* about salad discredits anyone from being a foodie

Spaceman Spiff said...

oh, mike brown got to go! gasol too, this thing got to end

Spaceman Spiff said...

meiz doesn't like ribeye, chooses filet, wants a1 at a steakhouse no matter the level, doesn't like pork ribs and he's taking people's foodie cards away, right

Spaceman Spiff said...

kyrie irving gets buckets

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Lawrence Taylor’s Super Bowl Ring Sold For $230,401"

EP spent all that portfolio money

El Padrino said...

"meiz doesn't like ribeye, chooses filet, wants a1 at a steakhouse no matter the level, doesn't like pork ribs and he's taking people's foodie cards away, right"

Stupid things Meiz says....

Spaceman Spiff said...

pat burrell copping a feel

Spaceman Spiff said...

SNL doesn stephen a. smith

hilarity

lebraaawn

some of pharoah's denzel was peeking out

El Padrino said...

uncle drew

awesome

El Padrino said...

SNL was both awful and great.

El Padrino said...

games of thrones fans?

Spaceman Spiff said...

zuckerberg got married, wonder what that pre-nup is like

El Padrino said...

day after IPO, like whoa

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Local and federal authorities spent several hours Sunday recovering more than 160 bales of marijuana (4 tons) found floating in the Pacific Ocean off Orange County."

Spaceman Spiff said...

fucking travel

Keef said...

Finland holds an annual cell phone-throwing contest.

Keef said...

and they are STRICT on the "No doing work whilst breaking" policy.


every company says that. But they don't say shit if you're working through break

Keef said...

they usually say don't work during breaks, but then they are all about letting you do it.



tem knows

Keef said...

it's in the company policy to cover their ass but there isn't a no work on your break officer anywhere



spiff also knows

tem said...

triple dragon

tem said...

i bet christina aguilera is fucking that guy she had on her team from the voice.

tem said...

"Facebook's stock fell below its initial offering price in early trading, following a lackluster debut on Friday"

sucks for people who own it.

Keef said...

Nice fans, Tyler

I ♥ Kobe said...

"sucks for people who own it."

it's may bro

ToddPacker said...

"tp how was nyc"

grate... I feel like shit today. too much food and booze all weekend

bagels
bacon egg & cheese sandwich
shake shack
papaya dogs
Katz deli
Luger knock off steak place
Carl's at the Yankee game
Chinese food
lots of slices from different places
upper east side thursday night. yankee game and then mid- town Friday night and east village Saturday night... crazy people down there.

El Padrino said...

you know what i realized watching clips/spurs

blake griffin isn't THAT good
i mean west coasters saw him a bit more this year all i got was highlights of his dunks, blocks and alley's

he's turn around jay is laughable
he probably shoots like 25% outside 5 feet

I ♥ Kobe said...

take that carmelo

lin's goin to brooklyn

El Padrino said...

"Luger knock off steak place"

you dont recall the name?

I ♥ Kobe said...

"blake griffin isn't THAT good"

he's good at flopping

El Padrino said...

kate upton gif's

Keef said...

he's turn around jay is laughable


Knows English

Keef said...

kate upton gif's



note to self

Keef said...

it's may?

they have the worst record in the NL



Cubs are worse

I ♥ Kobe said...

percentage points...but the rockies are like a million miles out of first now

and the cubs have never been swept by the shitty mariners

I ♥ Kobe said...

at home

tem said...

cubs are worse than facebook, that is true.

El Padrino said...

McDonald’s Testing $1 McCruncher


BEAST

I ♥ Kobe said...

"cubs are worse than facebook, that is true."


wish i could buy some cubs stock

I ♥ Kobe said...

if i was wendy's or BK, i'd have a .75 menu

El Padrino said...

anyone see that lacross brawl?

El Padrino said...

"if i was wendy's or BK, i'd have a .75 menu"

Wendy's has a .99 menu which is technically less than a $1.

s

ToddPacker said...

""Luger knock off steak place"

you dont recall the name?"

wolfgang's (no relation to wolfgang puck)... started by a couple of ex-Luger employees.... it was just as good as Lugers. I think it was on 53rd

Keef said...

McDonald’s Testing $1 McCruncher



In fucking Alabamer*

tem said...

wtf is a mccruncher?

El Padrino said...

lacross fight

Keef said...

lacross has an E on the end of it, pal

Keef said...

I'm sure you were just in a hurry, though. Twice.

tem said...

it isn't work bro'

Keef said...

you and I both know i'm the best speller on staff


/LP

El Padrino said...

"wtf is a mccruncher?"

new burger testing

like keef said, in alabamer

cheeburger* - spicy sauce of some kind - onion strips (the crunch)

El Padrino said...

that preakness was DOOOOOOOOOPPPEEEE

El Padrino said...

"I'm sure you were just in a hurry, though. Twice."

didnt know that
thanks

NS

thought the word lacross(e) with the (e) was the nail clipper brand

Keef said...

i couldn't name one brand of nail clippers

El Padrino said...

I worked in Walgreen's and then Rite Aid as a kid. I know obscure retail facts.

Keef said...

nice

Keef said...

were you able to get a discount on tampons for the girl you effed who was on her period?

El Padrino said...

yes, 20%

El Padrino said...

tampon aisle

easiest aisle to pack out (stock)

Keef said...

20% for everything? Including beer?

El Padrino said...

not including beer/cigarettes/pharmaceutical items

El Padrino said...

and it can't be on sale also

El Padrino said...

by pharmaceutical i mean prescriptions

El Padrino said...

The inventor of the nail cutter is not exactly known, but the first United States patent for an improvement in a finger-nail trimmer (implying such a device already existed) seems to be in 1875 by Valentine Fogerty.

I had to google it.

I ♥ Kobe said...

that guy is rich

tem said...

he is probably dead

Keef said...

and good looking. With a rapist wit

I ♥ Kobe said...

where is the government with his too big to fail for Facebook?

El Padrino said...

spiff my 3rd attempt to get into Talde this weekend failed

place is humming

El Padrino said...

"I’m sure that, by now, you are all aware that Jessica Pare — who plays Megan Draper on “Mad Men” — was the topless woman in 2010′s Hot Tub Time Machine (see above). But I will see your Hot Tub Time Machine and raise you a full-blown lesbian love scene with Piper Perabo in the 2001 indie lesbian flick, Lost and Delirious. That film starred Piper Perabo (Coyote Ugly) and Jessica Pare as two women at an all-girls boarding school. Yes, they fell in love. And yes, there is a steamy nude love scene"

Yes! Looking that up tonight.

El Padrino said...

"Taco Bell launching Beefy Nacho Burrito on Wednesday: Nachos inside a burrito (99 cents)"

I ♥ Kobe said...

they've already had this

BEASTN

El Padrino said...

"That is the forthcoming Beefy Nacho Burrito from Taco Bell, and from here it looks promising. Inside are ground beef, nacho cheese, sour cream and a brand-new Taco Bell ingredient they’re calling Queso Strips."

I don't think so Tim.

Keef said...

kod's new pic on fb is awesome

Spaceman Spiff said...

"you know what i realized watching clips/spurs

blake griffin isn't THAT good"

welcome to the party pal

El Padrino said...

thank you

El Padrino said...

this dip at tis party is incredible

is it Rotel and Velveeta?

Keef said...

of course

tem said...

hmm, old WVU coach died of a heart attack today. sad news.

nice guy, mostly. not so good coach though.

El Padrino said...

WALL

El Padrino said...

fucking tem

Keef said...

stewart?

tem said...

yeah, stewart.

El Padrino said...

Ron Jeremy fired

tem said...

van gundy fired. GM too

tem said...

fucking el pad.

I ♥ Kobe said...

""That is the forthcoming Beefy Nacho Burrito from Taco Bell, and from here it looks promising. Inside are ground beef, nacho cheese, sour cream and a brand-new Taco Bell ingredient they’re calling Queso Strips.""

they've had this but with those red strips inside.

Keef said...

hello 200 lbs!

El Padrino said...

apology accepted

I ♥ Kobe said...

whose to say the redstrips aren't also known as "queso strips"

Keef said...

I like when I call people and tell them they're at fault for an accident, and they start arguing. And their argument is "I didn't see them".

Oh, ok. Why didn't you say that to begin with. Obviously if you didn't see them it's not your fault.

I ♥ Kobe said...

invisible car...hello

tem said...

anyone can say it

tem said...

what if their argument is that the car just shut off because it was making a left?

El Padrino said...

Police Seek Dart Attacker in Brooklyn


ha

Keef said...

invisible car...hello



oh yeah

Keef said...

what if their argument is that the car just shut off because it was making a left?



sue the shit out of the mfg

Mize said...

"Does meiz get paid hourly?"


Yes

Spaceman Spiff said...

older beefy crunch burrito is the same except has rice and flaming hot fritos instead of those BRAND NEW!queso strips

being so similar makes the 'and from here it looks promising.' part of that article look retarded

tem said...

they should just put doritos in everything.

Spaceman Spiff said...

now i see, blue is talking about the older nacho crunch burrito same as the new thing except has tomatoes and red tortilla strips instead of BRAND NEW! queso strips

Spaceman Spiff said...

marketing

El Padrino said...

YUM

Mize said...

New job is incredibly easy.

Mize said...

Supervisor walks in: You're already better at this than the last guy.

Meiz: You can't be serious.

Supervisor: You'll see.

El Padrino said...

I'm sorry if my confidence is off-putting. I just think I'm better than "you". - Mize

Mize said...

Atta boy

Keef said...

mize & LP are bolth* the best at everything

El Padrino said...

im still trying to fill out that list of ten things I am not the best at

will post friday

El Padrino said...

Today marks seven years since we first introduced YouTube to the world. Thank you for all the amazing things you share, watch and create.

Mize said...

"mize & LP are bolth* the best at everything"


I'm a crappy open water fisherman
Can't hit a baseball for shit
Bad at golf
Slow
A hack with MS Office
Terrible rapper
Awful at fixing engines
Have a hard time writing properly
Probably awful in the sack
Horrendous mathematician

The list goes on

Keef said...

Looks a lot like my list

/LP

El Padrino said...

Bad at golf

$10 a shot

fucking WORK you

El Padrino said...

Probably awful in the sack

Meiz aka "AC Green"

El Padrino said...

Looks a lot like my list

/LP

cept for everything

El Padrino said...

piece

Jugdish said...

Terrible rapper


youtube please

Jugdish said...

Terrible rapper


Mize and lp should battle at a lov summit

Keef said...

$10 a shot

fucking WORK you



My guess is mize would destroy you

I ♥ Kobe said...

how do you know if you're a terrible rapper?

I ♥ Kobe said...

wasn't meiz like a 4 handicap or something

Mize said...

"Bad at golf

$10 a shot

fucking WORK you"


Come to the summit and lose $200 on the golf course then

Mize said...

"how do you know if you're a terrible rapper?"


Drunken freestyles. Those were the days.

Mize said...

"wasn't meiz like a 4 handicap or something"

The lowest I ever got it was in the 6-7 range. I'm probably about a 23 right at this moment.

Mize said...

That being said, I could shoot 95 and still beat LP by 20 shots. Or I could shoot 83 and beat him by 30+

Jugdish said...

We talking mini golf?

/Lp

Keef said...

That being said, I could shoot 95 and still beat LP by 20 shots. Or I could shoot 83 and beat him by 30+



I'll do the math for you. 32

Keef said...

Horrendous mathematician

Mize said...

"Horrendous mathematician"


I was being lazy there

Spaceman Spiff said...

while you do the math, i'm doing the alfredo

/meiz

Keef said...

while you do the math, i'm doing the alfredo




hilarity

Keef said...

I bet maybe 2 people understand that

tem said...

I do not understand it

Mize said...

I googled it, and it is funny

ToddPacker said...

"while you do the math, i'm doing the alfredo"

spiff is a genius

Aitch said...

"Yes! Looking that up tonight."

Eh... NSFW

Keef said...

Needs more dick

/LP

Mize said...

Victor Cruz will salsa in Madden 13

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Victor Cruz will salsa in Madden 13"

they released the video

Spaceman Spiff said...

possible last game and brown sits kobe to start the fourth, down 6 entering, lead immediately gets to 14


FUCK YOU MIKE BROWN

fire his ass tonight

Aitch said...

8 people shot outside the arena in OKC after the win. Unbelieveable

Aitch said...

Even the Thunder fans shoot better than the Lakers

Too soon?

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino