Tuesday, May 15, 2012

Cruise Highlights and Lowlights

I am back from my cruise. It was pretty awesome. The whole trip was great, except for when we returned to NYC and NYC tried to ruin our trip. 1hr45min customs/TSA wait in a basement with 500 people and no A/C, then once we got on the plane we sat on the runway for 1hr30min. Fucking NYC. Anyway, here are some highlights and lowlights. I hope the fucking paragraphs work, but I doubt they will.... 1) Saw a Scottish guy buy an Italian lady a beer. She said "I sex you later, but I want to watch show." Later she said "I sex you now." But he got scared and ran away. 2) Talked to the lady who checked in the 9-11 bombers at the Boston airport. Very awkward conversation. It was the first day and we were just talking about the cruise and how it was so far. I told her the security line went real fast and she said she hated that because she was the one who checked in one of the terrorists. She called it into the main office and everything because he didn't speak any English. But he passed the phone test or whatever. Then she told us about this sweet old lady she wheeled down to the plane immediately before that....we didn't talk to her much after that. It was wierd. 3) Drank a ton the first night. Gave the bartenders a good tip. After that all of our bills were for 2 beers, no matter how much we drank. 4) Bought a rug in Turkey. Cmtem negotiated the price way down. She was a negotiating champ. 5) Met Michael Jackson's neice. She was singing with some guy that used to be in the drifters. She looks like a shorter fatter Janet. 6) Discovered that any European women of any age and any body type will wear a bikini. Gross. 7) Discovered that Eurpoeans do not get in line for buffets. They just walk up to what ever they want and take it. The Europeans were the rudest people on the boat. Italians and Greeks were the worst. NYCers were third worst. After that people were nice. Canadians were all really really nice. 8) I have today off of work, but cmtem has a to do list about 10 miles long for me. 9) Met a couple from Denver. I don't think it was blue. 10) Met a guy from England that was at the bar every day, drank all day and never got drunk. He was a drinking champ. 11) Greece was a shithole . All of our friends said it was awesome, but we went to the two shithole cities. Athens was OK because it had some cool ruins, but otherwise it was a shithole. 12) Italians don't like it when you attempt to order in Italian. It is like you are slowing them down by trying so they get pissed. But then their service sucks, so I don't know why they are pissed. They take like a 10 minute break every 3 minutes. 13) People from other countries, except canada, have really bad teeth. 14) All Europeans somehow know all the words to Country Roads. And sing along with you when you pay the piano dude $5 to play Country Roads. 15) Slot machines on a cruise ship are tight. 16) OK, getting the evil eye, gotta post this and go do work. So what did I miss here while I was gone?

227 comments:

1 – 200 of 227   Newer›   Newest»
Mize said...

"Keith ♥ the 99.9999999% Ball Park hotdog commercial.

No idear what that is"


Guy says he's 99.9999999% sure of something, other guy says "So you don't know, got it."

Keef said...

If Meiz doesn't take over Mondays, I will. But my vote is for Meiz.


Split time

Keef said...

Guy says he's 99.9999999% sure of something, other guy says "So you don't know, got it."


Suite

Keef said...

Sounds like the cruise sucked


/LP

Keef said...

So what did I miss here while I was gone?



We learnt from LP that walmart is not a brick & mortar store

Keef said...

So what did I miss here while I was gone?



Black churches are disowning Obama because he's for gay marriage. It's some kind of irony or something

Keef said...

Or hypocrisy

Keef said...

All Europeans somehow know all the words to Country Roads


That John Denver is full of shit, man

Mize said...

I'm gonna miss working under my current boss. That broad rules, man. We think alike.

kod said...

"I ride for Sysco every single day, and they are recognizing that by offering me a job, albeit a low paying job, but a job nonetheless. And the thing is, I'm fairly positive I'm going to make Fleet Farm want me for like 5 grand a year more. Also, the position is in the Sporting Goods department, and well, if you've never been to FF...FISHING STUFF GALORE"


feel free to ignore, as this advice is unsolicited, but I would think more about 5-10 years down the road v. next year's salary.

Sounds like there's a lot going for you at Sysco, and it may behoove you to have a frank conversation with the powers that be about where they see you in 3-5 years if you pass on FF.

Many places start low, but have fruitful raise/promotion opportunities to reward loyal and competent employees, some places start higher, but you pretty much get stuck near where you start.

kod said...

"Black churches are disowning Obama because he's for gay marriage."



damn, now they're all going to vote for Romney


ssssssss

No More Knicks said...

"It was pretty awesome."

disagree

No More Knicks said...

"damn, now they're all going to vote for Romney"


they just wont vote
which is like voting for romney

No More Knicks said...

tem what was your bar bill?
do they give that to you at the end of the trip?

No More Knicks said...

when you eat in a restaurant, does it feel like you are on a boat?

No More Knicks said...

when you came into NYC and you passed a giant silver bridge, that's the Veranzanno Bridge, connecks* bklyn to staten island

el pad lives 8 minutes from that bridge, south tip of brooklyn

No More Knicks said...

funny thing about Men In Black 3

forgot they even did a Men in Black 2

Mize said...

"Sounds like there's a lot going for you at Sysco, and it may behoove you to have a frank conversation with the powers that be about where they see you in 3-5 years if you pass on FF.

Many places start low, but have fruitful raise/promotion opportunities to reward loyal and competent employees, some places start higher, but you pretty much get stuck near where you start."


EXACTLY. In the year and a half I've been here, I've seen people get some pretty great promotions in a short period of time. And on top of that, it's friggin' tough to get fired, unlike the retail world.

Mize said...

"tem what was your bar bill?
do they give that to you at the end of the trip?"


Isn't that usually built in to the cost?

Aitch said...

"I would think more about 5-10 years down the road v. next year's salary."

This. Kod is wise. NS.

Jugdish said...

Athens was OK because it had some cool ruins, but otherwise it was a shithole.


that made me laugh

No More Knicks said...

"That broad rules, man. We think alike."


Think like a man.

No More Knicks said...

"Isn't that usually built in to the cost?"

for cruises no, not from what i heard

Keef said...

The human body contains a tiny amount of gold.

Keef said...

damn, now they're all going to vote for Romney



That wasn't really what my comment was about.

No More Knicks said...

"The human body contains a tiny amount of gold."

It's in my cock.

Keef said...

And on top of that, it's friggin' tough to get fired, unlike the retail world.



Why are you worried about getting fired and job turnover? Just do your job and that shit won't come into play

No More Knicks said...

gold jerry, gold

Mize said...

Rotel tomatoes are a special order item for us. That makes no sense to me. You would think we would keep that on hand.

No More Knicks said...

im sorry if i missed something, sure i have but is meiz already thinking about quitting the job he just got last week?

No More Knicks said...

the fuck is a rotel tomato?

Mize said...

"Why are you worried about getting fired and job turnover?"


That's just how wiggity wack retail is.

Keef said...

I signed up for Dish yesterday. On my way home I call DTV to cancel. Dude goes through the stay with us spiel. Ends up offering next tier up, new HD/DVR to replace the POS one, HD/DVR upgrade for our BR, free movie channels for 2 months, DTV on demand, & access to DVR from each receiver, for about $10 less than what would have been the cost for Dish. I axed about Sunday Ticket but he said that promo isn't out yet, but to call in July because they always have promos for loyal customers. So I ended up going with that and canceling the Dish install.

I know you all care

Keef said...

im sorry if i missed something, sure i have but is meiz already thinking about quitting the job he just got last week?



Read the 12 comments you missed from yesterday evening

Keef said...

the fuck is a rotel tomato?


Rotel & Velveeta is the best chip dip in the world

No More Knicks said...

so exactly what blue did

got it

No More Knicks said...

Read the 12 comments you missed from yesterday evening

fuck that

No More Knicks said...

Rotel & Velveeta is the best chip dip in the world

good to know

Keef said...

so exactly what blue did

got it



pretty much

No More Knicks said...

google said they are canned tomatoes and green chiles or jalepenos

cool

No More Knicks said...

Velveeta

hey there

/rev

No More Knicks said...

SOMEBODY THAT YOU USED TO KNOW

No More Knicks said...

Lakers got smacked last night

SMACKED

Aitch said...

Love that song

Mize said...

"Rotel & Velveeta is the best chip dip in the world"


Velveeta & spicy Hormel chili would like a word with you, sir.

Keef said...

haven't had that but it sounds good

tem said...

Booze was not included, I'll have to look up the bar bill. It will be far cheaper than you think. First night was about 150, rest of the nights were about 10 because all we got billed for after that was 2 miller lites per day.

tem said...

It can be agreed that velveeta is an ingredient in the tastiest dip. The other ingredients are up for debate.

Keef said...

LP is really good at wwf

Spaceman Spiff said...

blue

kod said...

"Major League Baseball management has fired Shyam Das, the arbitrator who overturned Ryan Braun's drug suspension in February."


man, the arbitration system is broken. Corporations often slip mandatory arbitration agreements into consumer contracts (which few, even me, read); well, guess who picks the arbitrator? And guess what happens to arbitrators who side against the company?

Maybe MLB doing it will shine more of a spotlight on this, I don't think many are aware of how things have been lined up against consumers and employees through mandatory arbitration clauses

Keef said...

A second juror was dismissed today in the Roger Clemens trial for falling asleep during the trial. The dismissed juror, from Seat 1, was replaced by the juror in Seat 7, who had been the first alternate.



ha

Keef said...

Seat 7: Male. Heard of Clemens but said he couldn't identify what position he played.



stop it

Mize said...

"haven't had that but it sounds good"


Woah. Crazy talk.

Half a big brick of velveeta, 1 can of Hormel chili(with or without beans) in a small crock pot or bean pot. My favorite dip ever.

Keef said...

hello 300 lbs!

No More Knicks said...

"LP is really good at wwf"

do you pick your own letters?

Keef said...

do you pick your own letters?


SMACKED

Jugdish said...

"LP is really good at wwf"


When Lp takes his turn, it will show up in my phones little notification window. Sometimes for a moment the 55 in his name makes me think he played a word for 55 points.

No More Knicks said...

blue

get off your knees ump you're blowing the game!

No More Knicks said...

"SMACKED"

once, you smacked me once

easy

Keef said...

When Lp takes his turn, it will show up in my phones little notification window. Sometimes for a moment the 55 in his name makes me think he played a word for 55 points. Then I remember I'm playing LP

*fized

Keef said...

once, you smacked me once

easy




TWSS

Jugdish said...

Then I remember I'm playing LP


I Almost added that

Keef said...

once, you smacked me once

easy




Game 1 - 430-312 LP resigned
Game 2 - 461-343
Game 3 - 407-380 after you had an 80 pt lead halfway through
Game 4 (in progress)- 141-76


SMACKED

Mize said...

LP has too much pride to take his medicine. Keith & Jug stomped me enough times that my lesson was learned.

Spaceman Spiff said...

30 for 30 back, short films

first one is pete rose, can watch it in that link

Spaceman Spiff said...

"ain't you babe?"

hilarity

No More Knicks said...

Game 1 - 430-312 LP resigned
Game 2 - 461-343
Game 3 - 407-380 after you had an 80 pt lead halfway through
Game 4 (in progress)- 141-76


SMACKED

comeback

No More Knicks said...

did you ever think i was trying to see your tendacies and playing style so that i can combat it properly going forward

Spaceman Spiff said...

stop it

Keef said...

did you ever think i was trying to see your tendacies and playing style so that i can combat it properly going forward



No, I never, ever, everevereverever thought that

No More Knicks said...

way i look at it is you have a 3-0 lead and it's a 7 game series and im down at halftime but closed the half on a nice run

dont be the guy that loses 4 in a row and blow the series win

Keef said...

I won't.

Keef said...

yogic was nice, though

Jugdish said...

way i look at it is you have a 3-0 lead and it's a 7 game series and im down at halftime but closed the half on a nice run


Make that best out of 9

/Lp

Keef said...

ha

ToddPacker said...

"When Lp takes his turn, it will show up in my phones little notification window. Sometimes for a moment the 55 in his name makes me think he played a word for 55 points."

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

ToddPacker said...

ep dropped a 111 point word on me last game

Blue said...

"ep dropped a 111 point word on me last game"

but it was a typo

Blue said...

"ep dropped a 111 point word on me last game"

but it was a typo

Keef said...

55 X 2 = 111

/LP

Blue said...

LP was the guy at CHASE bank who lost 2billion on a derivative trade

No More Knicks said...

"ep dropped a 111 point word on me last game"

SMACKED

Keef said...

LP was the guy at CHASE bank who lost 2billion on a derivative trade



Then he won it all back with his fake investment money

Mize said...

EP, what local network broadcasts the Mets games over there?

No More Knicks said...

SNY

No More Knicks said...

meiz hit me up

let's see who the true village idiot is

el padrino 55

No More Knicks said...

Citifield hosting All-Star game 2013

No More Knicks said...

meiz miguel batista shitted on the brewers last night

re-read that

thoughts?

Mize said...

"meiz hit me up

let's see who the true village idiot is"


Facebook, bro.

Mize said...

"thoughts?"


I'd say it has more to do with the Brewers being awful, and not so much about Batista shitting on them.

Mize said...

Its baseball. Shit happens.

No More Knicks said...

Facebook, bro.

I win.

Mize said...

"I win."

I think refusing to have a facebook profile puts you closer to village idiot status than I am. It's 2012, bro.

Keef said...

Its baseball. Shit happens.



Humber threw a perfect game

No More Knicks said...

suite outfit

No More Knicks said...

"I think refusing to have a facebook profile puts you closer to village idiot status than I am. It's 2012, bro."

grow up peter pan, count chocula

facebook is for kids

Keef said...

facebook is for kids



get over it

tem said...

cmtem boat* prenatal vitamins at Target.

i guess we are pulling the goalie soon.

tem said...

i axed her about it and she said we had a long conversation about it.

i axed if that was sunday night at the bar when i got totally hammered.

she said yeah.

tem said...

H got yelled at by one of his friends for posting personal shit on facebook.

minifacebook slapper ensued.

tem said...

i guess H is done with exfemH.


is he going to be part of the kid's life though?????

tem said...

where is beth?? voice talk....why does christina hate that tony luca guy so much?


yeah i know the finale was last week, but i just watched it now.

No More Knicks said...

congrats tem

No More Knicks said...

get over it

get over your face

No More Knicks said...

boston/ny wwf war about to go down

Mize said...

"i axed if that was sunday night at the bar when i got totally hammered.

she said yeah."


Evil temptress

No More Knicks said...

that's funny keef

Aitch said...

" minifacebook slapper ensued"

Best part is that dude is in my band.

Aitch said...

ExfemH went the EP route and deleted her Facebook.

Keef said...

femH went the EP route and deleted her Facebook.



I nerve* understood why she continued to comment on just about every one of your posts

Keef said...

H got yelled at by one of his friends for posting personal shit on facebook.



I misst* that one

Keef said...

i guess we are pulling the goalie soon.



Your kid & T's kid can go to school together

Spaceman Spiff said...

"I nerve* understood why she continued to comment on just about every one of your posts"

she's a woman

Aitch said...

" I nerve* understood why she continued to comment on just about every one of your posts"

Woman*

Mize said...

"I nerve* understood why she continued to comment on just about every one of your posts"


This. Just weird.

Keef said...

New cute chick who sits next to me is from the same city as NY Guy. Weird.

No More Knicks said...

what city

Keef said...

huntington

Keef said...

so I have a Nyer on each side of me. joy

Blue said...

huntington beach?

Keef said...

yes

Aitch said...

Gotta ninja a picture, Keef.

No More Knicks said...

yuck north shore

No More Knicks said...

no huntington lawng island

Blue said...

brooklyn is on long island

Keef said...

blue knows

Keef said...

Gotta ninja a picture, Keef.


huh

Keef said...

you talking about the one I sent?

No More Knicks said...

"brooklyn is on long island"

no long island is on brooklyn

Aitch said...

You have to sneak taking a picture of the cute chick that now sits next to you.

Mize said...

"long island is on brooklyn"


Something or other about English

No More Knicks said...

nah i bust on them long island is aight

better than new jerz

Keef said...

You have to sneak taking a picture of the cute chick that now sits next to you.



OIC. I'm not slick like that

No More Knicks said...

wussbag

Keef said...

wussbag

Nothing to do with being a wussbag, LP. It is what it is


/H

No More Knicks said...

ha

Keef said...

wall

No More Knicks said...

"The guerrilla-marketing move gives BK an Olympic-tied promo; Dream Team cups will be given by BK in June."


huge for BK


well played

No More Knicks said...

"GM plans to stop advertising on Facebook after its marketing executives determined their paid ads had little impact on consumers, a disappointing development just days ahead of Facebook’s IPO."

GM knows.

Keef said...

putting guerrilla & NBA in the same sentence is something LP would do

No More Knicks said...

looks like a cnp

Mize said...

"GM plans to stop advertising on Facebook after its marketing executives determined their paid ads had little impact on consumers, a disappointing development just days ahead of Facebook’s IPO."


adBlock plus is a beautiful thing

Blue said...

there are ads on facebook?

Spaceman Spiff said...

ABP is suite, makes you forget about ads

Mize said...

"ABP is suite, makes you forget about ads"


I always freak out for a couple seconds when I hit a site I'm normally on on a computer other than mine. Ads are the worst.

Keef said...

You freak out when you see an ad? That's rational

Keef said...

Don't watch TV, that will blow your mind

Mize said...

"You freak out when you see an ad? That's rational"


You think I really freak out when I see an ad? That's rational.

Keef said...

I always freak out for a couple seconds

Blue said...

how would you buy anything if you didn't have ads?

Aitch said...

Keef is schooling me again.

Blue said...

"I always freak out for a couple seconds"

looks like a cnp to me

Keef said...

how would you buy anything if you didn't have ads?



Amex

/LP

Mize said...

"how would you buy anything if you didn't have ads?"


Word of mouth?

Mize said...

Amazon reviews
cnet reviews
yelp reviews

Keef said...

yeah, maybe stay away from the job in retail

Blue said...

wasn't meiz the one bitching that sysco needed to do more business via twitter?

tem said...

oh and for the people who wonder our bill after getting off the boat was for about $1850.

that includes a bar bill of about $320. the rest is excursions (they rape you on these) and extra meals that don't come with the package (like once we ate at the steak place and it was $35 per person). also it includes bingo cards for the $1,000 bingo night. we paid like $64 for about 26 cards...they sold in packs of 8 and got 2 free for knowing pizza was from italy.

Jugdish said...

I always freak out for a couple seconds when I hit a site I'm normally on on a computer other than mine. Ads are the worst.


I always freak out when I see your face...its the worst.

tem said...

bar bill includes coke.

cokes were $2.50 each. we had about 4 total per day.

No More Knicks said...

"bill after getting off the boat was for about $1850."


yeah count me out

No More Knicks said...

thats the shit im talking about

Keef said...

(like once we ate at the steak place and it was $35 per person).


highway robbery

/mize

Mize said...

"wasn't meiz the one bitching that sysco needed to do more business via twitter?"


They need a web presence.

Mize said...

"yeah count me out"


I bet your honeymoon cost more than that.

tem said...

1850 was after they already billed us a lot more than that

No More Knicks said...

my bill would be double

Keef said...

NY Guy walked up behind my chair and saw me playing WWF on my phone. He's trying to show me a word to play. I say "I'm good. I'm playing against my boy from Brooklyn". He says "Yeah, you are good. People from Brooklyn can't spell."

No More Knicks said...

honeymoon aside, cruises are still a joke as far as getting what you pay for and a deal

Jugdish said...

Lp wouldnt allow himself to have fun on a cruise just to prove a point.

No More Knicks said...

hilarity keef

s

Keef said...

Lp wouldnt allow himself to have fun on a cruise just to prove a point.


Jug knows

No More Knicks said...

i could lay on some of the most gorgeous beaches in the world for alot less

Keef said...

honeymoon aside, cruises are still a joke as far as getting what you pay for and a deal



How was the ambiance?
Did the server know what you want?
Was the company good?
Were there nice paintings on the wall?

Keef said...

i could lay on some of the most gorgeous beaches in the world for alot less



We already know that everything you do is better than what everyone else does

tem said...

the honeymoon was pricey.

it'll be a long time before we spend that much on a vacation again.

tem said...

"How was the ambiance?
Did the server know what you want?
Was the company good?
Were there nice paintings on the wall?"


hilarity.

and

yes, yes, yes and yes

Mize said...

I thought the cruise was Tem's honeymoon

tem said...

cruise was a good option to see multiple places.

i don't think i could have saved money and seen greece, turkey and rome by just flying from place to place.

tem said...

yes the cruise was my honeymoon.

Keef said...

How was the OG in Rome?

tem said...

i could not find an OG in rome, but the pizza was HDH there.


oh and i learned that stromboli is not an italian food.

we drove past mt. stromboli, some volcano in italy and i said i liked to eat stromboli and the italian folks had no idea what it was. they said it is just a volcano, not a food.

No More Knicks said...

stromboli was invented in philly

No More Knicks said...

We already know that everything you do is better than what everyone else does

lick my balls

No More Knicks said...

gotta give credit where credit is do*

keef is a fierce wwf competitor
everytime you come within a few points he shuts the door 03' Gagne style

No More Knicks said...

with that said i will not stop until i beat you

tem said...

Keith is hard to beat.

tem said...

Tcs, wwf, anything with 3 letters he is good at.

No More Knicks said...

he must cheat

No More Knicks said...

roids

tem said...

Maybe he owns a dictionary

Keef said...

Keith is hard to beat.


TWSS

Keef said...

Maybe he owns a dictionary



or a brain

No More Knicks said...

nah he just throws words up on the board to see what sticks

if he had to provide the meaning for half them he'd lose

nobody knows what the true meaning of the word GORSE is

Keef said...

nah he just throws words up on the board to see what sticks

if he had to provide the meaning for half them he'd lose




OK yogic & unhair and thenal

tem said...

Umiaq

No More Knicks said...

yogic was a miracle

unhair i used before and thenal i saw in my doctors office so it must be a medical word

No More Knicks said...

and with that comment you're admitting that's what you do

thanks

tem said...

Gorse is a goat/horse.

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"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





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"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino