Friday, April 06, 2012

i travel with a roll of quarters like a boss

im hungry im so fat i ate two dinner tonight wft

did mary j blige really have that ad pulled because a black women + fried chicken commercial is racist? cuz that's hilarity imagine other people and sensitivity around ads?  like picture sofia vergara pitching goya products.  or michael j fox selling shake weights

hahhahahahahahahahahahahaha

man i crack myself up

shame you dont kjnow a kanye song
he's a douche ::slang term for african american:: but he can rap

i dont get people that dont like rap, even though im white, the whole fucking thing is confusing i know

dwight howard is like a bitch what's his deal?

BASEBALL

opening day was all over the place, what an great way to ruin a time honored tradition

Drinking update: my mom is in town we qre drinking together tonight, she has chosen to go with a classic rum and coke while i have chosen beer, win with dinner and now back to beer

PUNK'D IS PRETTY ALRIGHT WITHOUT KUTCHER

fuckimg cap lock

Happy Easter christ has risen

Easter menu
antipasto, fried calamari, shrimp cocktail
chicken marsala over rigatoni
grilled lamb rip chops, potato cakes, broccolini salad

1st place feels good

rip kid

flexa time to have sexa

192 comments:

Aitch said...

EP drunk posts are losing their charm. Probably because they are as authentic as Olive Garden.

Aitch said...

Tough situation I am in. I love my girl. Well my ex now I guess. We have been friends for 10 years. I didn't want to break it off, but we've been fighting so much lately. So I decided and she agreed that we should part ways right now so we don't end up hating each other. Doesn't make it any easier.

tem said...

Relationships are hard work.

tem said...

If she isn't the one that makes you want to compromise then it wont work long term.

tem said...

And vice versa if she doesn't want to compromise with you....

tem said...

Key to long relationship...biting your tongue and not dwelling on it. Can't bite your tongue and then bring it up a week later. Gotta bite your tongue and forget about it.

tem said...

What does flexa time to have sexa mean? Is el pad banging his wife with his mom in the same apartment?

That's balls. Cmtem wouldn't let me touch her if her mom was in the same apartment.

tem said...

And if you wanna keep your girl you gotta spank it.

Or so says a country song by Justin Moore.

Jugdish said...

michael j fox selling shake weights


funny

Jugdish said...

but we've been fighting so much lately


What have you been fighting about, if you dont mind me asking

Aitch said...

Everything and anything honestly.

tem said...

She's just going to have to accept that you can't change the size of it.

tem said...

wall

tem said...

so petrino was fucking the strength coach's financee?

of all the coaches to fuck their wives i doubt the stregth coach is a good choice.

Tyler said...

"So I decided and she agreed that we should part ways right now so we don't end up hating each other. Doesn't make it any easier."

Is she keeping the baby?

tem said...

Hilarity

Tyler said...

AJA: that sucks Aitch.

Tyler said...

Tem with some good relationship advices. NS.

Keef said...

I don't think H was ever really comfortable settling down w/ 1 chick

Keef said...

There are 12 flowers stamped on each side of an Oreo.

Keef said...

She's just going to have to accept that you can't change the size of it.



Sure he can. He just has to say no to 2nd helpings

(S)

Spaceman Spiff said...

"dwight howard is like a bitch what's his deal?"

answered your own question

Spaceman Spiff said...

"so petrino was fucking the strength coach's financee?"

guy is some kind of coach for the swim team or some shit, he has nothing to do with footyball


even petrino has boundaries, maybe

Keef said...

Petrino is a giant douche

tem said...

"guy is some kind of coach for the swim team or some shit, he has nothing to do with footyball"

got it. i was tolt* he was baning the football strength coaches fiancee.

i guess any team's strength coach is a bad idea though.

tem said...

but if he is banging the stat guy for the swim team's financee, well, he is probably not getting beat up.

Keef said...

unless stat guy can pay someone to do it

Spaceman Spiff said...

guy's staff bio

pic of him and the hoe

they had a wedding guestbook up, which has been taken down but the comments were saved by someone

Spaceman Spiff said...

"asdfk adl;fjad asdfisdf c.s,nmasd asdkfj asdf,ma aflkjadsf diljhcz.a adfj adlkcma
from: morris claiborne
4/5/2012 5:02:25 PM "

hilarity

Spaceman Spiff said...

guy called the wedding off, good for him


love being right about that shit

/meiz

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Welcome to our wedding website! We are looking forward to spending this special day with everyone we love and care about! We hope this website will guide you through all of the details as we lead up to the big day. We are excited about our journey through life together and cannot wait to 'tie the knot'! ~Jess & Josh"

from the cache, there was no section labeled "I'm fucking bobby petrino" by her though, so it wasn't tthat detailed

Keef said...

guy's staff bio



Looks like Matt Hughes

Keef said...

and he's from FU. I bet TP knows him

Spaceman Spiff said...

i read she got fired already

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Atlanta Falcons players;

Out of my respect for you, I am letting you know, with a heavy heart, I resigned today as the Head Coach of the Atlanta Falcons. This decision was not easy but was made in the best interest of me and my family. While my desire would have been to finish out what has been a difficult season for us all, circumstances did not allow me to do so. I appreciate your hard work and wish the best.

Sincerely,

Bobby Petrino"

Spaceman Spiff said...

pujols tonight, ESPN2

Meiz said...

"I don't think H was ever really comfortable settling down w/ 1 chick"


Yes, this.

Blue said...

Spiff is giddy as he'll

Blue said...

Condolences h, breaking up sucks no matter what

Keef said...

as he'll what?

Blue said...

Kinda like tem said, you'll know when you meet the right girl

Blue said...

Fucking autocorrect

Keef said...

jug is lucky. He met the right girl twice


(S)

Blue said...

My fist is gonna meet your face twice


(s)

Blue said...

This time change thing is tough, I'm up lik 2 hours before anyone

Keef said...

who is anyone?

Blue said...

Anyone here in the state of hawai'i

Blue said...

Rory making a strong push

Meiz said...

I wish I was boozing at Miller Park right now. This is kinda lame.

ToddPacker said...

"and he's from FU. I bet TP knows him"

nope

Keef said...

Anyone here in the state of hawai'i



I forgot you were there

Keef said...

I wish I was boozing at Miller Park right now. This is kinda lame.




Don't steal H's woe, mizer

tem said...

h and his chick era ends circa 2012.

he'll bang some random pie at metal fest 2012.

Tyler said...

Tem, how is your housing situation going? Did you sell your old place yet? I am refinancing right now and it has been a pain in the ass.

I also told my Realtor to put me on their listings email device, but that backfired a little because CMTyler emails me with stuff she likes all the time.

Tyler said...

"he'll bang some random pie at metal fest 2012."

Next Friday at JR's. EP needs to handicap the odds on that so we can all place bets.

Blue said...

Both are legit woes. H's moreso but both still legit

tem said...

we have not sold the condo yet. we'll probably rent it out once we move out.

searching for a new place was fun. i got daily emails with new places from the realtor and then every night was looking at pictures with cmtem. then comparing the pictures to the houses from earlier. then every weekeend and some weeknights either just driving around neighborhoods looking at houses or going on tours.

tem said...

i was estatic when we found a place we both liked. it meant i didn't have to look at pictures or go to open houses anymore.

tem said...

the person who owns the condo unit below mine is selling hers. she put it on the market about 3 weeks ago. if she is successful then we'll sell ours. if she isn't very successful then we will just go straight to renting it.

Spaceman Spiff said...

nice

tem said...

"A Navy jet crashed Friday near Virginia Beach, Virginia, a military spokesman said.

The plane appears to have crashed into some apartments, and two apartment buildings were on fire, CNN affiliate WTKR reported, citing witnesses."

goddman

Tyler said...

Yeah that's what we"re gonna do with the condo now; rent it out. Refinancing now, and then remodel the bathrooms and the kitchen next month so it will be good to go in 6-8 months when we're serious about a house.

Tyler said...

And yeah, searching for a place is fun, unless you start getting outbid and it takes too long. That part is not too fun. But the rest of it is pretty fun.

Meiz said...

I know Joey Bats is Jose Bautista, but every time I see the words Joey Bats, I think of Joe Votto.

Meiz said...

"Don't steal H's woe, mizer"


Going to my buddy's house for the game. Anti-woe. Or eoW

Meiz said...

"Both are legit woes. H's moreso but both still legit"


Validation!

Tyler said...

When do you close? Did Jug sell his place?

Tyler said...

I know Joey Bats is Jose Bautista, but every time I see the words Joey Bats, I think of Joe Votto.

^^^^^^^^^^^

tem said...

our closing is scheduled for 4-19.

then we pretty much have 30 days to get the condo ready to rent.

condo doesn't need much work. clean the carpets, paint the walls, patch a couple holes in walls, then its ready.

tem said...

we only bid on one house and got it. probably paid a little more than we needed to, but honestly i was tired of looking for places. we looked off and on for about 5 months then we hard core for about 3 more months. i was spent.

Meiz said...

"^^^^^^^^^^^"


Thank god I'm not the only one.

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Of course that's what Blake is going to say because he's in L.A., where actors belong," Cousins told reporters. "He's an actor, so of course he would say that.""

Asked about the fifth foul he received, Cousins indicated he believed Griffin was faking.

"I guess the wind from my hand hit him in the eye and I guess he got fouled by the wind," Cousins said. "I'm not sure.""

boogie!

Tyler said...

"we only bid on one house and got it."

Nice.

"probably paid a little more than we needed to"

Eh, it's only money. Did you get them to pay all of the closing costs? I've heard buyers are still asking for that, so I'd like to know if that's still a thing when I start looking for reals.

Spaceman Spiff said...

that fifth "foul"

jeebus refs, WFT

Keef said...

condo doesn't need much work. clean the carpets, paint the walls, patch a couple holes in walls, add a microwave, then its ready.

*fized

Tyler said...

I love Walton's holier-than-now commentary on that ghost foul.

Aitch said...

I love how Keith knows no details of the situation yet somehow assumes it's my fault. That's cute.

Keef said...

I love how Keith knows no details of the situation yet somehow assumes it's my fault. That's cute.



Jesus, here we go

Keef said...

At one point did I assume it was your fault?

Keef said...

Because I said I didn't think you were comfortable with the 1 chick thing? That's not assuming fault. That's saying I don't think you're comfortable with being with 1 chick. What I would assume is that most everyone here would think the same thing

Keef said...

That being said, you're the guy, of course it's your fault.

Spaceman Spiff said...

lebron

2 headbands now to cover up, hilarity

wonder what he has against shaving off what's left

Keef said...

just found out via fb that csil is going out to dinner with us tonight. woe

kod said...

"I am a firm believer that you wind up marrying your best friend. And if you're married, and that person is not your best friend...you're fuckin' doing it wrong."


^^^^^^^^^^^^

if you're in it for the long haul at least.

Beauty always fades, but being stupid, mean or annoying usually doesn't

Keef said...

but being stupid (SHIT! /LP), mean (SHIT! /H) or annoying (SHIT! /keef) usually doesn't


*fized

Aitch said...

You think I'm mean?

Aitch said...

"That's not assuming fault. That's saying I don't think you're comfortable with being with 1 chick."

In this situation and context, it comes across as you saying that was a contributing factor. If I misinterpreted that, then I sincerly apologize.

Spaceman Spiff said...

"I sincerly apologize"

could mean anything

Spaceman Spiff said...

sincer apology not accepted

/keef

Aitch said...

Kod has been attending the EP school of spelling...

kod said...

"You think I'm mean?"


Big aitch, but no, my statement was just in response to Meiz' nothing about you was intended



but fwiw, no, and I think you're a good dude

kod said...

"Kod has been attending the EP school of spelling..."



agreed; no good. Mad busy, but not a good excuse

Aitch said...

"nothing about you was intended"

My comment was directed at Keith, bro. But I'm glad you think I'm a good dude. Generally speaking, I think everyone here is a good person, even Keith.

Tyler said...

Aitch and Kod need to split a room at the next Summit.

Tyler said...

Speaking of the Summit, I know it's only April bro, but is there gonna be a Summit III?

Keef said...

You think I'm mean?



Angry. Mean.

Tomayto. Tomahto

Keef said...

In this situation and context, it comes across as you saying that was a contributing factor. If I misinterpreted that, then I sincerly apologize.



Apology accepted

Keef said...

"Kod has been attending the EP school of spelling..."



I didn't see kod spell anything wrong

Keef said...

H is a good dood*. He's just angry and sensitive. That's a tough combo.

ns

Keef said...

that probably looks worst* than what I meant it to be

Aitch said...

Yea... it was actually Spiff but I assumed it was Kod. And since he said it was true, I was hoping no one would notice...

Keef said...

Yea... it was actually Spiff but I assumed it was Kod


Spiff was mocking your "sincerly" misspelting*

Keef said...

I was hoping no one would notice...




cmon bro

kod said...

And since he said it was true, I was hoping no one would notice...



ah, you were right though, I've been getting really bad lately with that here (ns)

tem said...

"Did you get them to pay all of the closing costs?"

not all, but pretty much all. they pay for my realtor, i am paying for some title shit and maybe a $150 survey.

tem said...

"add a microwave, then its ready."

microwave is in like new condition!

Keef said...

survey says?

kod said...

Kod: 2:18 PM

"Beauty always fades, but being stupid, mean or annoying usually doesn't"

Aitch: 2:26 PM

"You think I'm mean?"

kod: 2:40 PM

".....fwiw, no, and I think you're a good dude"

Aitch: 2:48 PM

"My comment was directed at Keith, bro."



oh

Tyler said...

Aw man, apparently, John Danks did not get my Dank-You.

Keef said...

goddman conflicting edits. Haven't had one of those in forever

kod said...

"Aitch and Kod need to split a room at the next Summit."



-Geez, kod/Meiz, kod/Jug now kod/Atich



I gotta stop saying such good things about yall, otherwise we'll all be splitting a room apparently

Keef said...

hey there

tem said...

"I know it's only April bro, but is there gonna be a Summit III?"

yes

Spaceman Spiff said...

watch second base

fucking cheap shot

Keef said...

"second base"


::pipe dream::

/jug

Keef said...

I just talked to some chick in Sherman Oaks. Reminded me of Tyler's TV series

Tyler said...

"I just talked to some chick in Sherman Oaks. Reminded me of Tyler's TV series"

NICE!!!

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Isiah Thompson* has been removed as coach at FIU"

tem said...

haha 2nd base

kod said...

Yikes, I do not enjoy working Friday, Saturday and Monday over a 4 day holiday weekend


nope, not one bit

Aitch said...

Look closer, Kod.

"but being stupid (SHIT! /LP), mean (SHIT! /H) or annoying (SHIT! /keef) usually doesn't"

Aitch said...

$50 tip. Eow

kod said...

Look closer, Kod.

"but being stupid (SHIT! /LP), mean (SHIT! /H) or annoying (SHIT! /keef) usually doesn't"


-ah, taking an existing quote and adding from within fiz; clever (ns)

almost missed it too, good lookin' out there H

Spaceman Spiff said...

- C. Pena homered to deep right, D. Jennings, E. Longoria and S. Rodriguez scored

tem said...

i hate when the president of one of our companies gets into her whiny mode.

Keef said...

-ah, taking an existing quote and adding from within fiz; clever (ns)



hilarity

tem said...

lots of catholic people telling me to boycott things that support planned parenthood.

honestly i don't know exactly what planned parenthood does.

ignorance is bliss.

Aitch said...

Planned parenthood advocates birth control and is pro-choice. Catholic church is against both because sexy time is supposed to be for procreation only, not pleasure. Ergo, Catholic Church hates Planned Parenthood.

Keef said...

Minnesota linebacker Gary Tinsley was found dead in his campus apartment Friday morning, university officials said.
Tinsley, 22, was found unresponsive in his apartment on campus Friday. The cause of death wasn't immediately released.

tem said...

sexy time is ok for pleasure, but it God wants you have a kid then so be it.

tem said...

but if God....

Keef said...

Yo is throwing BP today

tem said...

Yo Yo Ma?

Keef said...

wall

Spaceman Spiff said...

robertson with an incredible hold

Keef said...

is that like a complete 3 day weekend?

kod said...

"honestly i don't know exactly what planned parenthood does."



Per Wiki, it was signed into law by Nixon, providing a wide range of women's services. 35% of their budget is for contraception services, 3% abortion. The rest are things like pre-natal care, cancer and STD screenings, safe sex awareness programs, etc.

Spaceman Spiff said...

mariano blown save

Spaceman Spiff said...

after-video of that apt in virginia that the F-18 crashed into

Spaceman Spiff said...

tampa wins

Keef said...

I can't believe noone died in that jet crash

tem said...

Its because it wasnt Arabs flying the plane.

Keef said...

too soon

Spaceman Spiff said...

tiger mad

ToddPacker said...

"watch second base

fucking cheap shot"


awesome video

Jugdish said...

Did Jug sell his place?

no, in fact no one has looked at it in about 4 weeks, so i had to drop the price. ill keep it on the market a little longer, but if it looks like i'd lose too much then ill try leasing it out. id rather just get rid of it though

Jugdish said...

fucking cheap shot


wussbag

Jugdish said...

the cheap shot guy that is

Jugdish said...

Petoria

kod said...

"BEMIDJI – When the latest rankings for county health were released this week, it contained some sobering news for the north country.

Cass County ranked at the bottom of the list for Minnesota, and Beltrami County fared almost as poor."



wow, so our unhealthiest counties are where the majority our Indian Reservations are also located? Just like in every single other state? shocking; having large areas of land where life expectancy is around 55-60 it tends to bring the averages down.

tem said...

Indians need better doctors or something

El Padrino said...

"Mad busy, but not a good excuse"

what, perfect excuse

El Padrino said...

i always thought joey bats WAS joey Votto

shit

El Padrino said...

odds aitch gets laid at next gig

3 to 1

El Padrino said...

So I decided and she agreed that we should part ways right now so we don't end up hating each other.

so you broke up with her

El Padrino said...

cue the fucking james blunt bad day

El Padrino said...

i have no clue what a break up feels like

kod said...

Indians need better doctors or something



^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


that's definitely one part of the problem

IHS' history and current problems makes me quite apprehensive about our fed gov't ability to manage health care

of course, if it involved non-Indians too, the feds would probably be motivated to do a lot better in many ways (ns unfortunately)

Aitch said...

"i have no clue what a break up feels like"

Cmep was your only girlfriend ever? NS?

kod said...

"i have no clue what a break up feels like"


wow, I guess that seems both good and bad


I really only had one myself


of course, took me about 6 years to get over that one, gulp


if I knew then.......

Keef said...

cue the fucking james blunt bad day



Not James blunt

tem said...

El pad just hit it and quit it . He's a real man's man.

tem said...

He was TJW before TJW was a twinkle in his daddy's eye.

tem said...

By the by nothing gets a stranger more angry than telling him something must be getting his vagina wet.

kod said...

"Key to long relationship...biting your tongue and not dwelling on it. Can't bite your tongue and then bring it up a week later. Gotta bite your tongue and forget about it."



that's some sage advice right there (ns); the former is pretty obvious, but the latter is usually missed, either from not understanding its importance or being unable to stop it.

I didn't get it until around 2 years ago, and not dwelling/releasing resentments on my own is still a regular work in progress for me....but I have found that those efforts don't just make my marriage easier, they also make me an overall happier person

some people just can't help themselves from grudge holding or refuse to try and stop it, that often creates a lot of unnecessary hardship for themselves and for the people closest to them.

Keef said...

I was going to work some OT today. But then I slept until 11:00. That was nice

Aitch said...

Good start for Beckett

Keef said...

Carlos Marmol sucks

kod said...

life is precious, you



very sad deal, dude is sskod's cousin; sdkod2 and sskod babysat those kids every week, they're absolutely torn up today

Keef said...

Fuck

El Padrino said...

cmep was my first love, every other chick i was with was just for fucking only when we broke up i did not care

El Padrino said...

im going out for crispy duck

chink chink

El Padrino said...

i met cmep mad young

19

so not a whole lot of relationship experience

El Padrino said...

cannot ait to eat this duck super pumped

El Padrino said...

and m getting one of them bomb alkie drinks they have

El Padrino said...

daniel powter

Aitch said...

I envy you that then. NS. Breakups suck.

Keef said...

H
I broke up with cmk about 3 years after we started dating. It was tough. We ended up getting back together about 2 months later. FWIW

Keef said...

I've nerve had duck

Spaceman Spiff said...

missing out on peking duck

dat skin

Keef said...

wft

Keef said...

Sofia Vergara on SNL. Suite

Keef said...

Mike Wallace, who spent more than four decades as a hard-hitting, provocative news correspondent on "60 Minutes," has died,CBS reported Sunday. He was 93.

Keef said...

Happy Easter

tem said...

happy easter.

Target is closed today.

Keef said...

Happy Easter, LP

Keef said...

Bubba!

ToddPacker said...

"Bubba!"

grate win

tem said...

Golf sucked me for the first time ever today.

Aitch said...

Good finish to the Masters. I don't like golf and it was entertaining.

kod said...

swept by Baltimore, great start Twinks.


*researching bobblehead prices*

Tommy Kront said...

I thought about your words about travel. It's great! Not so long ago I decided to leave the house where my mother lived. Too many memories keep in my mind. But I always dream to live in LA. Therefore, I took with myself a few things from a past life, in addition, the movers https://www.moveprola.com/burbank-movers/ helped to pack everything compactly. In a new house, I`ll write a new story and build my life anew. This is my responsibility on myself.

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino