Monday, April 30, 2012

Feels like summer

Fuck blogger. I spent 30 minutes writing a post, had it saved, then hit preview to make sure there were paragraph breaks, and I come back to the post window and it fucking didn't save any if the content. Woe fucking hoo. Let's see if I can remember what I wrote.

I know summer doesn't officially start for another two months, but it feels like it is already here. I worked out in the yard yesterday for about 4 hours, and I had to jump in the pool because I was getting so hot. And I got all sunburnt and shit. And the pool was really fucking cold. Like, nuts in your stomach cold.

Aubrey O'Day is probably the most awful person in the history of persons. She is such a terrible human being. Yes, I'd rank her below Hitler, Sadam, Osama, and Jeffrey Dahmer. For those of you who are watching the Celebrity Apprentice, you know what I'm talking about.

Cmk and I went and saw Salmon Fishing in the Yemen on Saturday night. I've gotta say, it was a pretty good movie. I saw the previews and they looked alright, but the movie was better than I expected. Cmk & I have a date night thing once a month where we'll go to dinner and a movie and I'll pick the movie one month and she'll pick it the next month. May is her month, and I know she's going to pick that goddamn Nicholas Sparks movie that is coming out. Shoot me.

NBA playoffs started this weekend. Derrick Rose tore his acl, and the Clippers came back from about a 50 point deficit and won. I couldn't tell you anything else that happened. NHL playoffs are also going on right now. I only know that Boston is out and Phoenix is still in.

I just turned on SportsCenter. This is the first time I've watched SC in at least 2 months. oh suite, the Celtics lost too. This is the year of O:FB. God bless us everyone.

223 comments:

1 – 200 of 223   Newer›   Newest»
Aitch said...

It must be tough for Keith having his gavorite sports teams be so awful that the onoy thing he can cheer for is another city's failure...

Aitch said...

*favorite
*only

Beth said...

Well a Celtics failure is a Hawks win, so I'm good with that.

Aitch said...

And you're entitled to that, Beth.

Aitch said...

Btw, did we have a bet on this one?

Beth said...

We didn't discuss one but I'm definitely still up for it if you are.

(Unless game 1 scared you away...)

El Padrino said...

i almost got hit by a bike messenger this morning

fucking manhattan

El Padrino said...

coyotes play in jobing.com arena?

the fuck, it's like a bowl game named an arena

Aitch said...

" fucking manhattan"

Greatest city in the world...

Aitch said...

" fucking manhattan"

Is that like when Debbie did Dallas?

Aitch said...

We're on Beth. LOV standard.

Aitch said...

Rondo only gonna get a game, right? Or does the ball throwing incident earlier this season come into play?

El Padrino said...

Greatest city in the world...

aitch knows

El Padrino said...

the grizzlies guy Speights looks like he just got paroled last night before tip off

El Padrino said...

actually the whole team minus gasol look like inmates

more so than the rest of the league

El Padrino said...

it's like if The Wire got a team together

Aitch said...

EP hates black people

El Padrino said...

quite the opposite

i love them

remember chris rock, when he said i love black people but i hate _____

there is a difference

Aitch said...

Haha! I'm actually of that same mindset.

El Padrino said...

so you're both racist

got it

/keef the as.

El Padrino said...

blue the pic

El Padrino said...

your name is

It's true, Eli is better

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

godman rockies

El Padrino said...

nice addition

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

Helton's PH grandslam was suite though

El Padrino said...

fucking spain

El Padrino said...

"Helton's PH grandslam was suite though"

yeah real suite
s

it's like they blew the game twice

oh wait they did!

SAS they ended up winning

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

peyton was at the rox game yesterday sitting in the front row.

talking to some hot chick (that was not his wife) the whole time.

Eric Decker was sitting on the other side of him

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

gotta suck for Johan...pitch pretty much a flawless game for 7 innings, and then poof Jon Rauch fucks you over

El Padrino said...

i went to a birthday party yesterday at this place called Pump It Up

i think it's national

anyway if i were rich i wouldnt buy a jet or a few houses i'd make sure my house had a few rooms with all of those inflatible play things where adults can just go nuts in there

this one giant one had two hoops on each end, full court action, some dodgeball maybe

shit was hdh

El Padrino said...

gotta suck for Johan

0-5 trying to get a win so far, outside of the catastrophe in atlanta he has been ridiculous

even with it the era is like 2.25

Keef said...

It must be tough for Keith having his gavorite sports teams be so awful that the onoy thing he can cheer for is another city's failure...


The more your comment here, the less time you have to garner attention on Facebook

Keef said...

so you're both racist

got it




It's already well known that you're racist. And h is from Boston so of course he's racist

El Padrino said...

i am not racist

i just hate people of a certain ethnicity

El Pad Persepctive.

El Padrino said...

"May is her month, and I know she's going to pick that goddamn Nicholas Sparks movie that is coming out. Shoot me."

And you counter by picking The Avengers in June

it should still be in theaters, comes out Friday

Keef said...

Superhero movies aren't my thing

Keef said...

i am not racist

i just hate people of a certain ethnicity





You make it too easy

ToddPacker said...

"the grizzlies guy Speights looks like he just got paroled last night before tip off"

speights is a fine upstanding citizen

El Padrino said...

"Superhero movies aren't my thing"

MY GOD YOU ARE COMMUNIST

El Padrino said...

if you didnt love ice cream so much i'd really call the FBI on you

tem said...

i need to watch Thor and Captain America before the Avengers.

Spaceman Spiff said...

fishing in yemen, damn

tem said...

everyone is making fun of Goodell for those long hugs, but i am pretty sure he was telling each player "i'm the fucking sheriff in town and you need to respect my authority or i will destroy you. seriously, you and your family. you play this game because i allow it"

it takes a while to get all that out.

tem said...

hurt my back playing softball.

was running to first and got hit with a throw in the leg.

dude hit my leg and my back got hurt...WFT?

Spaceman Spiff said...

cargo!!!

he's been going off

El Padrino said...

"dude hit my leg and my back got hurt...WFT?"

you have sayattatica* nerve thing

Aitch said...

" hurt my back playing softball."

Sucks getting old. NS.

El Padrino said...

wait so this means you picked Salmon Fishing in Yemen?

the fuck

El Padrino said...

you know how i know your gay

you picked salmon fishing in the yemen for a movie

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

"cargo!!!

he's been going off"

yep, starting to come around. he seems to always be a slow starter

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

i've never heard of this salmon fishing in yemen

Spaceman Spiff said...

i saw the preview in theaters, i also remember this

El Padrino said...

this this movie about salmon fishing in yemen

wft
March 30, 2012 10:20 AM

Keef said...

dude hit my leg and my back got hurt...WFT?


Sympathy pains for h

Spaceman Spiff said...

i was more scared of the nugs than the mavs, now i don't know why

blue, if the game comes down to a final possession, coming out of a timeout nugs have the ball, what is the play?

Keef said...

you know how i know your gay

you picked salmon fishing in the yemen for a movie


Yes, we all know you hate middle easterners

Spaceman Spiff said...

javale was hilarity, didn't disappoint

El Padrino said...

"Yes, we all know you hate middle easterners"

dude it's a romantic film

did your balls drop?

and yemen bombed the USS Cole asshole

El Padrino said...

More than a decade after a terrorist attack brought down New York's twin towers, their replacement will become the city's tallest building today.

USA! USA! USA!

Keef said...

dude it's a romantic film


That part is very minor.

Keef said...

and yemen bombed the USS Cole asshole



You owned an Acura. Japan bombed Hawaii.

Aitch said...

AJA and WADR, why did it take 10 years?

Keef said...

AJA and WADR, why did it take 10 years?



No way this is serious

ToddPacker said...

"No way this is serious"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Aitch said...

Seems like a long time to put up a building...

El Padrino said...

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

El Padrino said...

that was supposed to follow tp's comment

El Padrino said...

hilarity drafts picks

Skins taking Cousins
i mean just unreal

Jags taking a punter in round three

Spaceman Spiff said...

dem tits

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

"blue, if the game comes down to a final possession, coming out of a timeout nugs have the ball, what is the play?"

who knows...they don't even know.

more than likely, it's Ty Lawson penetrating, or Aron Afflalo taking a shitty shot...or Al Harrington taking a shitty shot

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

in that order

El Padrino said...

holy smokes you see tannehill's wife?

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

"i was more scared of the nugs than the mavs, now i don't know why"

nuggets looked lost most of the game, was weird.

El Padrino said...

dem tits

you following flytetas like i told you?

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

The T on Faried was total bullshit too

Keef said...

Seems like a long time to put up a building...


Yeah, they started building it on 9/12/01

El Padrino said...

tell em keef

Keef said...

Babysitter called in sick today so I get to stay home. Eow

Keef said...

Broncos love them some Sun Devils

Spaceman Spiff said...

flagrant by tyson on lebron initially called a flagrant 2

vs.

good screen by lebron on a tiny john lucas a week earlier

El Padrino said...

yeah lebron is seriously a bitch, 250 muscle, 6'7 flopping all over the place

i hate him so much it's not even funny

shit i hate wade for liking lebron and that is crazy, wade is the man

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

heat are a bunch of thugs

El Padrino said...

i heard the refs were pretty awful in that game, i know melo was awful and shumpert is gone, he was the only defender who can guard wade

they are finshed for sure now

El Padrino said...

love van gundy for ripping him

El Padrino said...

just hope whoever makes it out the west puts the heat in the ground

spurs hopefully

Spaceman Spiff said...

game was close, 2 point miami lead i think, then a bunch of touch fouls in a row, a few flops[lebron flops then falls out of bounds after getting loose ball, called a foul/lebron flops on the screen/lebron flops like carmelo has the strength of 10 men and can push him to the ground with the flick of a wrist while fighting to post up, gets called an offensive foul], then a couple and 1's by lebron and it was game over

Spaceman Spiff said...

first 2 flops

3rd flop

Spaceman Spiff said...

barely noticed wade was even playing, hope he snatches the finals MVP though when the heat win the title, the first of many, congrats to the heat

El Padrino said...

funny, your comment post looks just like my boys text to me during sat night (I was working)

he actually said this too "yo melo is a superhero, threw lebron with just a push"

hilarity

shumpert huge loss there

El Padrino said...

"congrats to the heat"


i like your style spaceman spiff

El Padrino said...

wow, does the league look at these flops?

El Padrino said...

i mean just wow

Spaceman Spiff said...

refs should look at them, players are making them look even worse than they already are, they should be pissed

El Padrino said...

it's embarrassing

El Padrino said...

charles oakley must be pissed

Spaceman Spiff said...

EP, skins signed goff, how was he before the ACL

El Padrino said...

he was the mike backer heading into this season after a slow 2009 start he had a solid 2010

very smart player

El Padrino said...

david wilson catches rabbits

El Padrino said...

keef is gonna love this

text just now from cmep

cmep: you never say romantic stuff to me jerk

me: like what, i bought you salad yesterday

cmep: i mean like you dont say how much you love me

me: you know that already i told you the day we got married and that one time we did it on the balcony in miami

cmep: jerk

Beth said...

"keef is gonna love this"

Not just keef, that's hilarious (well unless you are cmep...)

El Padrino said...

oh stop with the dramatics
this is real life

i dont have time to play fairy tale princess

you know i love you because child support is mad expensive

s

Beth said...

Aja EP, do you never tell your wife you love her or is it that you don't tell her as dramatically or often as she would like?

El Padrino said...

i say i love you everyday
now i gotta say i love you more than the moon and the stars?

let me ask keef since he is the most romatic man on earth and tremendous father

how do you do it master romance?

El Padrino said...

"you don't tell her as dramatically"

maybe this

El Padrino said...

i guess i have to do this

Beth said...

"i say i love you everyday"

Ok, not terrible then. But maybe less dick picture texts and more random "love you!" texts.



Yes please!!!!!!

/cmep

El Padrino said...

havent sent a dick pic over in awhile

that should end this

good advice

tem said...

basketball has become soccer in regards to flops and making injuries seems worse than they are

tem said...

you probably just receive dick pics

Aitch said...

How many times daily does EP tell you that he loves you, Beth?

El Padrino said...

from cmep?

that's not right tem

El Padrino said...

remember when you used to say it everytime like when you were dating

Beth said...

"How many times daily does EP tell you that he loves you, Beth?"

See that's the difference between me and cmep, I understand that the dick pics he sends me is his own way of professing his love...

s

El Padrino said...

perfect

Spaceman Spiff said...

<a href="http://i.imgur.com/LFn3e.jpg>gretzky's daughter back at it</a>

Spaceman Spiff said...

gretzky's daughter back at it

El Padrino said...

whoa

tem said...

"from cmep?

that's not right tem"

no, just from dudes who have dicks. you love the dong. i doubt you care where it comes from.

El Padrino said...

stop it

El Padrino said...

i think we have to have jorts get 15-20 minutes to bang bosh and bron around tonight

Mize said...

Superhero movies kinda suck

Mize said...

"Skins taking Cousins
i mean just unreal"


How is that hilarity? They need a backup, ya know.

Mize said...

"cmep: you never say romantic stuff to me jerk"


Holy high maintenance

Spaceman Spiff said...

housewives probably get bored

Mize said...

True that

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

new wing joint just opened down the street.

good stuff

Mize said...

Maybe cmlp needs a sidepiece

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

they got some spicy peanut sauce that taste like peanut butter...just have some of that with some celery...and bomb

El Padrino said...

"How is that hilarity? They need a backup, ya know."


find one elsewhere wasnt that like thier last pick? dont spend a pick on a backup unless it's 6th 7th round

go the undrafted route or get a veteran

El Padrino said...

Thai wings

nice

Spaceman Spiff said...

"wasnt that like thier last pick? "

not even close

El Padrino said...

still a dumb pick

tem said...

dumb pick

El Padrino said...

cmep created a facebook for me now im getting all sorts of email im deleting that shit so dont bother friend requesting me

El Padrino said...

damn she must be mad bored today

tem said...

did she use your work email for your Facebook account?

El Padrino said...

no gmail account

tem said...

that's better

tem said...

if you get a facebook page then other dudes can send dong pics easier to you

Keef said...

remember when you used to say it everytime like when you were dating


I say it every time we hang up n the phone. It doesn't make me feel like more of a man to not say it. Wadr

Beth said...

"I say it every time we hang up n the phone. It doesn't make me feel like more of a man to not say it. Wadr"

And wadr, since you just came back from the guest bedroom maybe you need to do more than just say it out of habit when you hang up. (Not that I'm saying y'all's issues are entirely your fault.)

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

love you ≠ common phone courtesy

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

i told cmblue a long time ago...you know i love you, if you need me to remind you i will. But if i just say it to say it, that's dumb

Keef said...

Moving into the other room was 100% my choice

Beth said...

"Moving into the other room was 100% my choice"

You missed my point.

Keef said...

But if i just say it to say it, that's dumb


I agree with that.

Keef said...

You missed my point.


No,I know what the gist of your comment was. My comment was just stating that me moving into the other room wasn't because of something that I did

Beth said...

Dear Abby I'm certainly not. I'm just saying that in a lot of these situations I see the woman's point of view that I think y'all often miss.

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

"Moving into the other room was 100% my choice"


0%

Keef said...

Dear Abby I'm certainly not. I'm just saying that in a lot of these situations I see the woman's point of view that I think y'all often miss.


Gotcha

Beth said...

Wait, did Keef and I just have a moment of understanding?

This won't do.

s

Aitch said...

In a woman's eye, we are always wrong simply by virtue of having a penis.

Beth said...

Well, unless it's a really nice penis.

Keef said...

Well, unless it's a really nice penis.




You have my attention

/LP

Aitch said...

Did I tell you guys about the nekkd pic controversy fight with ex-BMH? Well, now that she and I are completely done, I re-friended picture girl on facebook...

Within 10 minutes ex-BMH sends me a text with a snarky comment. I love breakups...

El Padrino said...

"Well, unless it's a really nice penis."

so im exempt

suite

Aitch said...

Ep, put some flowers on your AmEx every now and again and you'll be fine. A little effort, son.

El Padrino said...

piece

El Padrino said...

flowers are for the dead

Beth said...

And there's the EP we all know and love.

Aitch said...

How do your men keep up the ROMANCE! Beth? New pair of cuffs?

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

why would you buy flowers for dead people, they won't appreciate them

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

"How do your men/women keep up the ROMANCE! Beth?"


fized

Keef said...

I wan to believe that LP is joking with the shit he says but I know he's not

Beth said...

"How do your men keep up the ROMANCE! Beth? New pair of cuffs?"

By not friending picture girls on facebook.

Keef said...

We should make a shit LP says viral video

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

you don't have facebook so how would you even know

Keef said...

By not friending picture girls on facebook



Heyooooo

Beth said...

My take (hope?) for the shit ep says is that it's 60-70% real but he exaggerates the rest.

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

like his height?

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

EP's gotta get some of this

Beth said...

Well didn't he admit that the 1/2 inch was his height exaggeration? Which really puts him at about 5'8".

It's true, Eli is a better lover said...

you have the shield of brooklyn

Aitch said...

Well played, bitc... er, Beth.

Mize said...

Flowers are dumb

Keef said...

Said the guy without a girl

Spaceman Spiff said...

rondo 1 game suspension official

Keef said...

Sucks that I want the celtics to win because they have a better shot at beating Miami

Aitch said...

" Sucks that I want the celtics to win because they have a better shot at beating Miami"

Embrace the dark side, Keith.

Spaceman Spiff said...

meiz,

i'm using vipbox.tv right meow

Mize said...

Suck it, haterz

Mize said...

"meiz,

i'm using vipbox.tv right meow"

Duly noted. Thank you, sir.

Aitch said...

Am I the only one who still thinks Christina Aguilera is hot?

Mize said...

She's okay when she's not fat

Aitch said...

I'd motorist* her

Keef said...

You'd motorist anything

El Padrino said...

fuck the heat

El Padrino said...

yo stoudemire is awful

El Padrino said...

fuck it hockey time

ToddPacker said...

"fuck the heat"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

ToddPacker said...

"fuck it hockey time"

let's go caps

Mize said...

GO HEAT GO

El Padrino said...

rangers gonna tie here tp

watch

El Padrino said...

lemme see this OKC crown i heard about saturday night

ToddPacker said...

hard to root against brad richards

ToddPacker said...

nice call, ep

El Padrino said...

my godm are people making that noise with their hands?

El Padrino said...

GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAALLLLLLLLLLLLLL

El Padrino said...

talk shit again packer they;ll score the game winner soon

ToddPacker said...

didn't really talk shit... just said I was rooting fit the caps

Keef said...

Block

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"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





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"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino