Friday, March 30, 2012

NL Preview El PAd is drunk again style bitches come get some I will WORK YOU

NL East

Braves will win the division because slow ans steady wins the race.  They are the most consistent team in the division.  Baseball is a marathon like my cock. 

WHOOOOAAA sometimes I get a good feeling.  Remember the Braves collpase last year?  Man that was sa-wheat. 

This cabin in the woods movie is a sick idea.

Marlins are the favorites right?  Yeah fuck Jose Reyes I hope he gets Domincan Aids.  Have you seen the bullpen?  Hope the plan is to score 10 runs a game because the bullpen blows.  Guillen is gonna throw this team under the bus bvecause expectations are high and spanish people dont deal with pressure very well.  That's why they fry everything.  It;s the easy way out.

Phillies got a sick pitching staff again.  But who fears this lineup?  Howard is hurt since October what a fucking fag and Utley is a bitch ass.  Rollins is gonna carry this team?  Victorino is not a guy who can carry the load.  LOAD.  THE LOAD.  Ha.  Fuck Philly.  No playoffs.

The Nats are all right kid. Got some young talent.  Looking like the AVN New Starlet category.  Young bitties.  Pretty lil bitties.  Tony the Tiger, The Honey Nut Cheerio Bee, Honey Smacks Frog.  You have to fuck one, marry one and kill one.  Go,

The Mets will be last.  They are now the Orioles of this division for a few years.  Hopefully Johan has a good May/June so he can be shipped off a la Beltran for a hot prospect.  That would be suite.  I like Ike.  I like Duda.  I like an empty Citi-Field.  SHAKE SHACK.

Miley Cyrus is a trashbag.  Her vagina probably taste like cigarettes and Wal-Mart.

So that's that.  I find that when shoot a lil whiskey in between every 2 beers you get lifted nice.

NL Central

Lets go with the REDS just to piss Keef off.  Then the Pirats.  AJ Burnett is a beast in the NL central kid.  It would be hot if he pitches with am eye patch.  Fucking Jim Abbot pitched with no hand you telling me he cant pitch with an eye patch.  Grow some peaches.

Then lets pick the Cardinals and then the Brewers.  Then the Astros then the Cubs.  The REDS is a racist name.  I think it means burnt Indian.  Which is pretty bad.  Speaking of Indians does Kod eat alot of Maize?  Cuz i like corn.  So that would be cool.  Maize in the bunker? Check.

HAHAHAHA The Cubs.  You know that game Will It Blend?  No? Google it.  They should see if the Cubs will blend.  HHHAAAA.  Fucking Cubs.  It's been what 119 years?  But whos counting. 

NL West

Are the Astros in the west yet?  They will win division if they are.  If not let's go with the Giants.  Because they have some offense finally.  And they will have the kid part 2 back in Posey.  RIP Gary Carter you and those curls will forever be missed.

Magic Aids owns the Dodgers now so every Dodger dog you order comes with some HIV. 

DBAGS take a step back because last year was a fucking mirage.

Padres suck they let everyone go and no one wants to play there even thought the weather is perfect everyday.

Playoffs

Braves over Reds
Giants over Dodgers (Wild Card)
Did I do that right? This beer is so delicious right now.

Long story short the Giants will win a boring ass NLCS to face Keef;s AL pennant winner.  And LOV once again delivers a solid fucking preview.  Knowing keef it will be the Yankees he is always on their jock.

Doritos Locos Tacos sounds so fucking good right now I just saw the commercial and I want one.  Like bad.  This Dr. Pepper commercial is mad gay.  Fucking Gays.

Piece.


262 comments:

1 – 200 of 262   Newer›   Newest»
Jugdish said...

blogger sucks

Jugdish said...

Are the Astros in the west yet?


al west, next year


they missed pujols' musk

Jugdish said...

jug got a new nephew this morning...suite

9 pounder...big boy!

Jugdish said...

blogger still sucks though

El Padrino said...

fucking blogger

i forgot the rockies

whoops

hahahahahahhahaha

El Padrino said...

they will finish behind the AIDS Dodgers

El Padrino said...

one in 176 million chance of winning mega

El Padrino said...

you have a better chance of angelina jolie and jen aniston leaving their repsepective relationships and showing up at your house for a threesome

ns

Keef said...

Knowing keef it will be the Yankees he is always on their jock.


Huh?

El Padrino said...

whatta gonna do about it

El Padrino said...

i dont even know what it means either just ignore it

i was ca-ruisin last night

Blue said...

you also need another wildcard team

El Padrino said...

shit there are two now?

El Padrino said...

the fuck is this shit when the mets were collapsing they could have been a wild card team

El Padrino said...

Pirates second wild card team

i feel it, they will be the story of baseball

tem will be rewarded

El Padrino said...

beth do you have a small mouth?

i dont like girls with small mouths

El Padrino said...

Dear Mike Woodson,

Mike Bibby died two years ago. Please do not give his corpse anymore minutes.

Thanks and Regards.

El Padrino said...

apple factory findings

El Padrino said...

gonna check out this google ipad

El Padrino said...

Reebok must temporarily stop making apparel featuring Jets quarterback Tim Tebow, a judge ruled. Nike had claimed the items were unauthorized.

El Padrino said...

this this movie about salmon fishing in yemen

wft

El Padrino said...

LA baseball spiff and T

El Padrino said...

everyone took off today

El Padrino said...

everyone took off today

El Padrino said...

packer when you coming here

Jugdish said...

you have a better chance of angelina jolie and jen aniston leaving their repsepective relationships and showing up at your house for a threesome




so you're saying theres a chance...i read ya.

Keef said...

yeeeaaaahhhhhh

ToddPacker said...

"packer when you coming here"

may 17-20

Keef said...

ha

Keef said...

If not let's go with the Giants. Because they have some offense finally



Yeah, Melky Cabrera & Angel Pagan are BEASTS

El Padrino said...

just yelled at cmep
gonna be a couch night

Keef said...

ROMANCE!

El Padrino said...

buster is back he is their offense with that pitching they dont need much

pagan is pretty good imo upgrade over andres torres who is a met now

what a joke

Spaceman Spiff said...

"La Russa's deal with major league baseball not yet announced, will pay him about $2.5 million annually. Special advisor."

El Padrino said...

brandon belt is ready

Aitch said...

What did you yell at her about? We need details man.

Keef said...

Giants will finish 3rd or worst* in the West

Keef said...

What did you yell at her about? We need details man.




She's hiding his Apple products again

Spaceman Spiff said...

"'Twins' Sequel 'Triplets' in the Works for Arnold, DeVito...and Eddie Murphy "

El Padrino said...

"Giants will finish 3rd or worst* in the West"

ok keef olney

El Padrino said...

"What did you yell at her about? We need details man."

bgep is sick, since saturday, so i yelled at her today because she took her to the dr for the third time specifically to get a blood test done and she did not force the issue and get a blood test done

tensions are high

El Padrino said...

she just texted me an apology

so no couch, maybe even sex

good day

Keef said...

"'Twins' Sequel 'Triplets' in the Works for Arnold, DeVito...and Eddie Murphy "



gross

El Padrino said...

gonna re-up with netflix now i got the ei-fi tv can stream anythign from the library

El Padrino said...

wi-fi

Keef said...

How do you watch movies when bglp is 6" from the screen?

Keef said...

OG for lunch today

El Padrino said...

"How do you watch movies when bglp is 6" from the screen?"

when she goes to sleep

El Padrino said...

OG for lunch today

gross

El Padrino said...

actually gonna hold off on that and see HBO Go and that library

it's free with subscription

El Padrino said...

i like that taraj henson chick

El Padrino said...

is the kid serious with the unibrow
have we not spoke about this

if im an nba team i will tell him to fix that shit or we will not draft you

El Padrino said...

RICK REILLY

Luck Plays It Cool
Andrew Luck changed the NFL. What's he have to say about it? Not a lot.

i seriously hate rick reilly

Blue said...

rick rielly is a god

El Padrino said...

Mike Tyson: I'm a horrible parent

Keef said...

Mike Tyson: I'm a horrible parent



It's because you call your kids pains in the ass

Blue said...

he eats children, what do you expect

Spaceman Spiff said...

Jason Peters ruptured achilles!

O:FP

El Padrino said...

the Rings

Keef said...

you said peter

Keef said...

Mega Millions jackpot grows to an estimated $640 million

Blue said...

not sure why there are 4 rings on that trophy

Blue said...

4 trophies...i mean

El Padrino said...

cuz they have 4 super bowls

duh

86, 90, 07, 11

Blue said...

but the guys who get the rings don't have 4 superbowls

El Padrino said...

this is standard, the steelers ring had 6 on there

Blue said...

steelers are morons

Blue said...

pats made 18-1 rings

Jugdish said...

just bitchscreamed at cmep
gonna be a couch night





fixed

Meiz said...

NL Central preview is spot on.


S

Keef said...

your face has a spot on it

El Padrino said...

yes lets keep miguel batista on the roster and send the kid down

good work

El Padrino said...

"In a report for the Daily News today, Andy Martino said team executives and coaches recently discussed releasing Mike Pelfrey before Opening Day."

ladies and gents your #2 starter!!!!

GO METS!

El Padrino said...

women need this car

Keef said...

we're supposebly* getting the crv tomorrow

Jugdish said...

that there is a cRV, clark

Keef said...

ha

El Padrino said...

Urine-cooked eggs a delicacy in China city: ‘Virgin Eggs’ are spring tradition in Dongyang

kod said...

"Law enforcement officials are turning to inmates in the Steele County Detention Center to create a mural so jarring it will make people think twice about impaired or distracted driving.

Owatonna Police Chief Keith Hiller says the art needs to be dramatic and realistic in order for teen drivers, especially, to take notice. Hiller says he wants the inmates to paint graphic depictions of extricated bodies, heads smashing through windshields and shattered glass covered in blood.

The Owatonna People's Press says the detention center has a $10,000 grant to complete a three-piece mural project. The Southwestern Minnesota Toward Zero Deaths campaign hopes the inmates will have at least one mural done in time to display it at the Owatonna High School prom May 12."



this made me laugh, a lot. For one, prisoners being asked to create these grizzly depictions, but even better, and the hope that's its done in time to hang up for prom


ahahahahaha

kod said...

"You are about 50 times as likely to get struck by lightning as to win the lottery, based on the 90 people a year getting struck by lightning," Catalano said. "Of course, if you buy 50 tickets, you've equalized your chances of winning the jackpot with getting struck by lightning."


touche

Jugdish said...

wall

Jugdish said...

Coke Found in Houston's Room




thought she was more of a Dr. Pepper girl

s

El Padrino said...

wrestlemania this weekend

Spaceman Spiff said...

braves signed Livan

El Padrino said...

then he ate michael bourn

El Padrino said...

MasterCard Inc, Visa Inc and Discover Financial Services have been victims of a potential security breach, the latest in a string of incidents that have put the personal information of millions of credit cardholders

El Padrino said...

tem i only missed on two stocks

KEM and only by $29
and GGAL $554

ficticious portfolio is up 40 grand

led by BEAST, RBC, TD,YUM and WMT

Keef said...

Dude I know said at his work they got 75 people to each put in $20 for lottery tickets. 1500 lines of numbers. Redonk

Jugdish said...

im going to a concert tonight. considering getting $20 worth of tix...but that could also be a couple rounds up there. 100% chance I will enjoy that

El Padrino said...

i have $5 worth plus pool at work which is $2 so i have $7 invested in this nonsense

Spaceman Spiff said...

in 2 lotto pools at work, the standard 2 dollar one, and the new 10 dollar one that just came about, around 30 peeps

fmspiff work has a standard 1 dollar pool, around 40 peeps

Jugdish said...

i don't like pools


/tem

Jugdish said...

money gets lost in pools

/tem

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Panthers trade Mike Goodson to Raiders for Bruce Campbell "

Keef said...

wft is a bruce campbell

Spaceman Spiff said...

olineman

El Padrino said...

i like peeps

El Padrino said...

i's day about 13.5 i'd sell the dow short

maybe some SPY's too

El Padrino said...

bruce campbell is on burn notice

Keef said...

i's day about 13.5 i'd sell the dow short




wft does that mean?

El Padrino said...

means i'd bet against the market if it hit that mark

right now it's 13.2 (13 thousand 2 hundred)

kod said...

"ficticious portfolio is up 40 grand"



wow, almost approaching the levels of your ficticious sports wager winnings; combine the two and you're almost ready for ficticious retirement

El Padrino said...

i dont have ficticious sports wager winnings

kod said...

I played $1 with my regular numbers and $1 on a quick pick


same as always when jackpot hits over 100M

kod said...

to me, there really isn't much of a difference between 100M and 640M or whatever....as far as how my life would change


either way, I would just do volunteer work and give most of it away to family, local Tribes, Battered Women's Shelters, Animal Rescues and Legal Aid Programs

kod said...

wow, Gore fired Keith Olberman, I'm SAS

I suppose his political punditry days are just about over, maybe he'll try to get back involved with sports reporting

Blue said...

give most of it away to the LOV human fund

Blue said...

in all honestly...if i won the 640mm (which i won't because i'm not paying the stupid people tax)...

i'd give $1mm to every LoV regular (ns)

kod said...

"A recall election was officially ordered Friday against embattled first-term Wisconsin Gov. Scott Walker after more than 900,000 signatures were collected on petitions to force a vote."


I don't like Walker, but allowing recall elections by petition are insane. Especially when the required amount of signatures is less than the losing politician received in the last election....like here, where over 1 million votes were registered for Walker's opponent.


I mean, huh? Why don't the losers just sign a petition along with their vote...that they if their candidate loses, poof, automatic recall.


cmon Sconnie, stop with this California-esque stupidity

kod said...

i'd give $1mm to every LoV regular (ns)


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^



yeah, if I ever hit powerball or Mega, ya'll get a good cut

Keef said...

wow, almost approaching the levels of your ficticious sports wager winnings; combine the two and you're almost ready for ficticious retirement




That shit made me laugh out loud

Keef said...

means i'd bet against the market if it hit that mark

right now it's 13.2 (13 thousand 2 hundred)





I's day your phsycho

El Padrino said...

i'd give $1mm to every LoV regular (ns)

i'd hit you'z off too

not a milly though
chill son

Aitch said...

Market report on the radio said the biggest blue chip loser over the first quarter was... wait for it...

McDonalds

Jugdish said...

its because of those chicken bites

El Padrino said...

ERRONEOUS!


it's 4 points off it's 52 week high

maybe the radio guy is high

El Padrino said...

i told peeps to buy it in the 70's range

Blue said...

"not a milly though
chill son"

they were doing the calcs on the radio this morning. If you took the cash payout, which everyone would, you get like $462mm. After taxes that drops to like $230mm. If you invest that into a municipal bond payin 3% annually, you get $7mm/year in interest payments.

kod said...

"not a milly though
chill son"



completely understandable (ns); way I see it though, taking the lump sum, after taxes, would come to approx 160 million


I'd still be ok with around 140-150 million or so

Blue said...

so i could handle handing out a total of $20mm

kod said...

"If you took the cash payout, which everyone would, you get like $462mm."



I've heard that electing the cash option usually halves the annuity/stated jackpot total


Was the person doing the calculations on the radio a black man? If so, then I probably heard wrong

El Padrino said...

chances are you wont be lone winner


but i'd be generous

i think anything given out to you bums would be a genreous offer

cmep would be pissed

El Padrino said...

you make more money off the 26 year payout it's really the smarter way to go but the allure of a getting a lump of cash that large is enticing

kod said...

"you make more money off the 26 year payout it's really the smarter way to go but the allure of a getting a lump of cash that large is enticing"



a bird in hand.....

Jugdish said...

cmep would be pissed



couch night

El Padrino said...

more like ::bitchscream::

Keef said...

I think my statement a long time ago here was that I would give each person here $10,000 if I won the jackpot

El Padrino said...

a bird in hand.....

whatever the fuck that means

El Padrino said...

"I think my statement a long time ago here was that I would give each person here $10,000 if I won the jackpot"


sounds about right
you should carify jackpot

Jugdish said...

i think he just flipped you off

Keef said...

you should carify jackpot



You serious, Clark?

El Padrino said...

You serious, Clark?

i mean if you won like some free tacos i'd consider that a jackpot and would feel entitled to one

then you freeze it and ship it to me

Keef said...

you have low standards for a snob

El Padrino said...

da hoppah

Blue said...

"you make more money off the 26 year payout it's really the smarter way to go but the allure of a getting a lump of cash that large is enticing"

NPV of cash..come on EP...you know cash right now is worth more than the annuitized amount.

Blue said...

"I've heard that electing the cash option usually halves the annuity/stated jackpot total"

they have the cash payment amount on their website as 462

El Padrino said...

"NPV of cash..come on EP...you know cash right now is worth more than the annuitized amount."

true

plus you can make your cash work for you immediately

Blue said...

with my 3% interest example, you'd get $140mm in interest over the next 20 years. That's one of the most conservative investments you can make..

if you're getting the annuitized jackpot you're paying taxes and shit every year, and you only get 32mm/year to invest

Jugdish said...

BEAST

Jugdish said...

if you're getting the annuitized jackpot you're paying taxes and shit every year, and you only get 32mm/year to invest



only 32mm? that would suck

Keef said...

32mm



LMC

/LP

Jugdish said...

ha

El Padrino said...

that's only 1.25 inches

not cool

El Padrino said...

piece

Jugdish said...

not cool


^^^^^^^

/cmlp

Meiz said...

Winning lotto numbers are in hand.

Keef said...

No, they're in my car above the sun visor

Meiz said...

We have the same numbers? I guess we're splitting the pot.

tem said...

Did I win?

Meiz said...

I didn't win the lotto

Meiz said...

The NL preview is a hit with a couple of my twitter pals

Spaceman Spiff said...

a friend of mine got 4/5 + mega in his work pool, gonna end up with a couple hundred bucks

Keef said...

Fuck mega millions. Shit is fixed

Aitch said...

Winning ticket sold in Baltimore County. Winner is either moving right away or it will all be spent on crack rock within 6 months. At least if B'more is as bad as The Wire portrayed it...

tem said...

I have 1 friend in Bmore, I'm gonna assume it was her that won.

kod said...

ooh, looks like a BW3s coming to Bemidji soon....there are no good sports bars here, maybe this will help



I've never understood why we don't have a famous daves in town though, wish I had more business sense, I'd try to become a franchisee

Meiz said...

I'm betting you don't have the hundreds of thousands of dollars it takes to open a new franchise.

Meiz said...

If you opened a business, I'd be interested in coming to work for you.

kod said...

well true, but that's like saying I'm not going to college because I don't have the 50-100K for tuition. Actually even more extreme, because at least business loans can be discharged through bankruptcy and don't involve much personal risk...while student loans are the opposite.


but I don't like carrying any kind of debt if I can help it, and do not have the skills or knowledge to even dare assume that kind of risk

Meiz said...

To be honest, I don't think its that hard. You're already a lawyer. You have all the skills it takes.

kod said...

"If you opened a business, I'd be interested in coming to work for you."


yeah, I'd definitely make you an offer and want you on board if you were interested (ns).

kod said...

"To be honest, I don't think its that hard. You're already a lawyer. You have all the skills it takes."



I've been trying to start a Pilot Project for the Reservation communities over the past couple months, will find out by this fall if that gets approved. If so, I suppose running that proposed project would be a lot like running a business. Maybe this possibility will lead me to the private sector down the road

kod said...

geez Leaf gets busted for burglary and drug possession...while on probation for a serious drug charge


and Walker from U FLA gets arrested for stealing a $3 taco and running from police



I don't know who is smrter here

kod said...

Tebow told 1050 ESPN Radio on Friday that he's "not sure" if he'll ever be a starting quarterback again, and that thought doesn't even concern him right now.




I'm predicting week 4, after a 1-3 start from the jorts

Meiz said...

I bet Rex'll give him an early start, but not anywhere close to the majority of the snaps.

Meiz said...

Maybe some element of surprise shit, like just the 1st series of the game to catch the opponent off-guard.

Meiz said...

I wouldn't be surprised if he uses him like a closer. Run plays, and ONLY wide open throws. If you have to think about it, tuck it in and plow forward.

Meiz said...

3 yards and a cloud of dust.

Spaceman Spiff said...

TEBOWSKI!!!

Meiz said...

So, the dude that won the lotto was already a multi-millionaire?

The fuck, man?

Keef said...

If you opened a business, I'd be interested in coming to work for you



The business would probably fail without you there


S

Keef said...

Looks like 3 winners

ToddPacker said...

uk gonna crush Louisville today

ToddPacker said...

not sure if this is ep or not, but starz and encore are free on dtv right now... lots of bad movies

Meiz said...

Is anybody here right now? I have a question.

Meiz said...

Regarding a thank you email to the folks in Texas.

Meiz said...

Fuck it, I'm not waiting around. Just gonna send it. I hope I'm not leaving anything out or sounding retarded.

Keef said...

Putting the effort into a thank you note is the main thing they'll recognize

NS

Meiz said...

The concept just seems kinda corny to me, though.

Meiz said...

But anywho, old bosslady stopped in today to pick something up for her boyfriend, so I told her about the Cypress thing, and she told me I absolutely have to send a thank you email.

Meiz said...

She's one of the few people I'll just blindly listen to and follow instructions from.

Meiz said...

Probably mainly because she's my age and way happier and successful than I am.

Spaceman Spiff said...

doesn't hurt, thank you is standard, plenty of examples online, cover letters too

Keef said...

The concept just seems kinda corny to me, though.



Saying thank you?

Meiz said...

"Saying thank you?"


Saying thank you in an email when I know damn well the people I sent it to get hundreds of thank you emails. I feel like they'll just click it into the trashcan.

Keef said...

Maybe. But they will know you sent it. You'd rather be the guy that sent one than the guy who didn't.

NS

Meiz said...

That's comforting. Builds a little more confidence.

Meiz said...

Seriously, though. You guys need to follow @prodigalsam

Funniest shit ever.

Keef said...

Keeper draft in 24 hours

Keef said...

Mafuggin turle in the fairway at this golf tourney

Keef said...

You should of* sent a fank you email

Meiz said...

"You should of* sent a fank you email"


I could have done it via video.

Fank you bof for taking the time to consider me...

kod said...

go to google maps, hit quest in the top right of the screen and they've got a HDH 8 bit version of maps and street view

Aitch said...

I'm turning into an old man...

Aitch said...

I watched the last 10 minutes of the Ohio State/Kansas game. Very entertaining.

ToddPacker said...

tough loss, kieth... uk gonna beat up ku on Monday

ToddPacker said...

"I watched the last 10 minutes of the Ohio State/Kansas game."

both games were good today

Meiz said...

"go to google maps, hit quest in the top right of the screen and they've got a HDH 8 bit version of maps and street view"


Love it! Our lake is on that joint.

Keef said...

I watched the last 10 minutes of the Ohio State/Kansas game. Very entertaining.




Eteo

ToddPacker said...

.

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Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino