Friday, March 02, 2012

lick my balls blogger

did jonah hill and his creepy hair/face combo think he was gonna really win an ocscah*?
he puked on emma stone recall?

this blogger situation has me tight
told you i lose my shit over small stuff

who likes surprise parties?  no one would catch me im too ninja

kids are hilarious but evil, thing is kids have no remorse. no empathy
they dont have that experience that says shit i know what it like to get punched in the neck so ima do it to this kid cuz he wont give me back those crayons

this is why i beat my kids

s

im so drunk right now its aweosme im gonna stay up and wach skinemax, it's not porn
what what

sorry jesus
im a weak man

boobs are great

if i was drving on the autobahn id want to drive a porsche
such a douchey car i know sorry

i have some classes to sit through to take some industry test in 2 weeks
i should probably focus on that ans pass it

last time i tried to take a test like this the night before i was at game 6 of nlcs, beltran homered in the 7th i think to take the lead, it was grate, i was eating peanuts and putting the shells in the guys hood in front of me, he was from conneticut
asshole
i was hammered that night, ate three dirty water dogs outside the 7 train then took the train 2 stops and hailed a 50 cab home
 good times

im sno in for the next summit but only if keef is in
we will probably slapbox

i am dipping fried in hot renedered chick fat right now
hello 200 lbs.

man cmep is gonna be pissed im bombed right now
shes used to it

cmep: you drank all of these beers?

me: yes

cmep: why

me: why not im home

cmep: you are a loser

me: :)

who cares im home
im not ging naywhere
its a few beers big deal

261 comments:

1 – 200 of 261   Newer›   Newest»
ToddPacker said...

drunk post was funny

Beth said...

"drunk post was funny"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


See tem, that's how you do a drunk post, not just intentionally misspelling some words.

Jugdish said...

no one would catch me im too ninja


SURPRISE!!!!!

Jugdish said...

"drunk post was funny"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Beth said...

"if i was drving on the autobahn id want to drive a porsche
such a douchey car i know sorry"

Are Porsches really considered douchey cars? If so I had no idea. I've always wanted to have sex in one

(partly s, partly ns)

Jugdish said...

I've always wanted to have sex in one



how about an aveo? they're just as compact

/mize

El Padrino said...

sex is difficult with the bucket seats

we can try though

El Padrino said...

that was for beth not meiz

Jugdish said...

had to think about it, didn't you?

Beth said...

"we can try though"

The good thing about sex in a Porsche with ep would be that after he failed to satisfy me there would still be the stick shift.

S

(S is about the stick shift, not about EP failing to satisfy me)

tem said...

Ep has a 0% chance of going to a summit, but if he does actually end up going he has a 95% chance of punching someone.

tem said...

Fake drunk tem is real drunk tem.

Also, Ep spelled better drunk than when he posts sober.

tem said...

I have a Porsche. /blue

tem said...

So did Ep's kid get punched by another kid, punch another kid or punch Ep when Ep stole her crayons?

El Padrino said...

i am a great lover

El Padrino said...

similar, she slapped some kid around cuz he was bothering her

point being she has no idea how it feels to be hit, other than her cousin which is playful, so she suffers no remorse she just reacts

someone jacked my shit wont leave me alone

POW bitch
take that
now what

the kid did not retaliate, sort of wish he did so she knew what that felt like

it's a weird dynamic

Jugdish said...

your face is a weird dynamic

tem said...

There was a tv sitcom that had that plot. Kids need to learn young that getting hit sucks so they stop hitting other kids. So they paired up bully kids for fights in the backyard.....i can't remember which show it was. Had the guy in it that does time warner commercials now.

El Padrino said...

donald glovers stand up touches on this

was funny

Jugdish said...

Sources: Wolfpack use franchise tag on Padrino

El Padrino said...

we lost in semi's last week in A division, my qb made a bad call to go for it on a 4th and 25 instead of pinning them and playing defense, we were nursing a 3 point lead

this week our b team is in the semis

Jugdish said...

you should be calling the offensive plays too

Keef said...

Who punts in rough touch?

Jugdish said...

wussbags do, that's who

Keef said...

go for it on a 4th and 25




<---------

I-I
I-I
I-I
I-I
I-I
I-I
I-I


/coach Lance

Jugdish said...

ha

Jugdish said...

thanks Obama!

El Padrino said...

not punting, you just throw it off

old school?

whats wrong with you

Jugdish said...

wall

Blue said...

you throw for punts in rough touch?

El Padrino said...

no punts, no kickoffs

field is 70 yards there is a first down midfield at the 35

if you want to turn the ball over on downs you throw it, most guys will throw it out of bounds trying to get it inside the 10 yard line

Blue said...

so you were on your own 10 yardline and he decided to go for it?

Blue said...

even TMQ would think that's ridiculous

Blue said...

minka kelly is so damn hot

El Padrino said...

"so you were on your own 10 yardline and he decided to go for it?"

correct, his thinking was a bit more complicate he felt if they scored after using timeout we'd still have about 1:20 to respond and score

but then he threw a pick on that "game winning" drive so that was that

remember if we get it, game is over we sit on the ball they spend timeouts and maybe they get the ball back with 20 or so seconds and no time outs

"minka kelly is so damn hot"

also correct

Blue said...

if you don't get it, they have 10 yards to go to take the lead

Blue said...

and they're already in FG range

Jugdish said...

i like that derrick rose didn't come out and do those gay little dances at the all star game

El Padrino said...

"if you don't get it, they have 10 yards to go to take the lead"

you are on top it this morningand thats what they did on a 4th and 4 no less

Keef said...

and they're already in FG range




no fg, you just throw it off

old school?

whats wrong with you

Keef said...

"According to congressional assessments, a retired Army colonel with a family currently paying $460 a year for health care will pay $2,048," Gertz wrote.


Woe. I pay like $4k a year

El Padrino said...

i'll be out this bitch soon got some class for the next few days

Tyler said...

Awesome post EP.

Jugdish said...

Woe. I pay like $4k a year



seems high

El Padrino said...

i should post drunk more often

Keef said...

I wish I could play Little League now. I'd kick some fucking ass

El Padrino said...

i pay $5138

for the whole family though

El Padrino said...

a year

Jugdish said...

maybe 4k doesn't seem so high then

Keef said...

maybe 4k doesn't seem so high then


$5138 in CM is like $1700 here

Blue said...

yeah, i paid about 4200 last year for my whole family...held down because my insurance was 100% paid, so it was really 4200 for the wife and kids.

Keef said...

I want to be a race car passenger

Jugdish said...

$5138 in CM is like $1700 here



I thought they used pesos in AZ?

Blue said...

it's too hot in AZ for pesos

Jugdish said...

ill pay about 3800 when im married assuming she goes under my insurance...right now its half that

Keef said...

I thought they used pesos in AZ?



Who is "they"?

Keef said...

ill pay about 3800 when im married assuming she goes under my insurance...right now its half that


Doesn't she have insurance as a teacher? Wouldn't it be cheaper with each of you just using your own?

Jugdish said...

Who is "they"?



they people in AZ...


what's wrong with you

Keef said...

Chameleons can see in two different directions at the same time.

Beth said...

I'm like blue in that my job pays 100% of my healthcare thank god.

Jugdish said...

Doesn't she have insurance as a teacher? Wouldn't it be cheaper with each of you just using your own?



not sure...haven't looked into it yet. It could be cheaper, but not as good coverage. teacher benefits have been cut recently too

Keef said...

H buys the best cars

Jugdish said...

teachers have been cut too. her school lost 8 teachers last year. class sizes went up a fair amount, budgets cut.

Blue said...

i think you're being sarcastic

Keef said...

her school lost 8 teachers last year.


Goddman pools

/tem

Blue said...

not jug being sarcastic,

that was in reference to keith's car comment

Jugdish said...

they don't even have a swim team

Blue said...

do they have a hockey team? a lacrosse team? rodeo team?

Tyler said...

Gotta go to the tax guy on Sunday. I hate going to the tax guy.

Keef said...

Gotta go to the tax guy on Sunday. I hate going to the tax guy.



Get Turbo Tax. It's easy

Keef said...

do they have a hockey team? a lacrosse team? rodeo team?




They're taking it slow on getting sports teams

Keef said...

I boat* an ant farm. Them fellas didn't grow shit

Keef said...

If you had a friend who was a tight rope walker, and you were walking down the sidewalk with him and he fell, that would be completely unacceptable

El Padrino said...

piece

ToddPacker said...

"Woe. I pay like $4k a year



seems high"


family plan cost me $12,400 last year... i paid $6,500/year at the old yob

Keef said...

jesus

Keef said...

seems high

/jug

Spaceman Spiff said...

"did jonah hill and his creepy hair/face combo think he was gonna really win an ocscah*?"

anyone see him clapping? he sucks at it

Jugdish said...

I boat* an ant farm. Them fellas didn't grow shit



i thought you were saving money for the worm store?

Spaceman Spiff said...

"point being she has no idea how it feels to be hit, other than her cousin which is playful, so she suffers no remorse she just reacts"

this is girls, no matter the age, hate seeing chicks who act tough and will hit a guy knowing there's a 99% chance he won't retaliate

jasmine from 'the challenge' is like that, went off on her male teammate, bitch weighs 90 pounds

Spaceman Spiff said...

T minus 6 days until doritos locos taco

Jugdish said...

this is girls, no matter the age



you can hit them if they rise up

/mize

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Daniel Bard asked to become starting pitcher"

didn't re-sign closer
next in line gets moved to rotation
new closer is injury prone

O:FB

Spaceman Spiff said...

just cashed in on catholic people in the office avoiding meat today, came up on some mcd's breakfast, suite

Blue said...

""did jonah hill and his creepy hair/face combo think he was gonna really win an ocscah*?"'

i thought the bit that emma stone did was kind of funny, and they cut to Jonah and he's telling her to cut it out.

Jugdish said...

Network outage from 1100-1200 = lunch and Big Bang Theory

Blue said...

is that 11-12 EST?

Spaceman Spiff said...

hilarity

Blue said...

beasley is gay

Blue said...

no wonder he's always battled depression

Keef said...

your face is depressing

Spaceman Spiff said...

HOLY SHIT

Blue said...

that crash was awful


no way anybody survived that

Jugdish said...

wall

Meiz said...

"Woe. I pay like $4k a year"


I'm paying $1200 annually for my bare bones coverage.

Healthcare needs to be socialized.

Meiz said...

"If you had a friend who was a tight rope walker, and you were walking down the sidewalk with him and he fell, that would be completely unacceptable"


I ♥ Mitch Hedberg

Keef said...

^^^^

Meiz said...

I never get sick of eating a Cousins sub, but I get sick of every single Chubway sub.

I hate Subway.

Keef said...

Nerve had Cousins subs

Keef said...

I get sick of some of the Subway subs, but not the steak & cheese

Meiz said...

Cousins is a small chain. It started here, in Menomonee Falls, IIRC

Meiz said...

"I get sick of some of the Subway subs, but not the steak & cheese"


I only get the $5 ones.

Keef said...

I only get the $5 ones too. But steak & cheese was $5 in Februany.

Jugdish said...

"I get sick of some of the Subway subs, but not the steak & cheese"



i get sick of your face

Keef said...

Cousins is a small chain


Yeah I know. We have them here

tem said...

cmtem pays $1,320 for me and her.

Keef said...

Suite pic

Blue said...

how can you get sick of the subway subs.

you can literally change it everytime

maybe this time i get pepperjack, next time it's provolone.

do i want pickles today, maybe some jalapenos

the options are endless

Blue said...

and yet, i'd much rather go to jersey mikes

haven't been to subway in a minute

Keef said...

Haven't been to Jersey Mike's since I lived in temhio

Blue said...

jersey mikes is definitely spendier

tem said...

jersey mike's has my least favorite sub guy working the counter, so i don't go there.

Blue said...

perrish cox, not guilty of raping some chick

Blue said...

this is the guy who alledgedly drugged a chick then raped her, then later denied he had sex with her...but ooops he's the father of her baby.

Keef said...

jersey mike's has my least favorite sub guy working the counter, so i don't go there.



I don't really have my sub guys ranked

tem said...

you have to answer his questions as he asks them and it takes forever. you can just say i want a large #4 mike's way.

you have to tell him first the kind of bread you want, then the size, then whether or not it is going to be a combo, then he'll ask you if you want each ingredient that is listed on that.

so if you want a club he'll ask if you want ham, then he'll ask if you want turkey, then he'll ask if you want bacon....

it is fucking ridiculous.

Keef said...

Newly acquired Pittsburgh pitcher A.J. Burnett is expected to miss two to three months while recovering from surgery for a facial fracture, forcing the Pirates to rearrange their plans for Opening Day.
Burnett had surgery Friday in Pittsburgh for a broken orbital bone near his right eye. He was injured when he fouled a ball off of his face Wednesday during a bunting drill.


hilarity

Keef said...

it is fucking ridiculous.



That's nothing compared to the idiots I work with

/mize

Jugdish said...

so if you want a club he'll ask if you want ham, then he'll ask if you want turkey, then he'll ask if you want bacon....

it is wildly inconvenient


fixed

tem said...

he is pretty off putting because he thinks he is better than "me"

Keef said...

hilarity

Keef said...

Man, we have a cougher here. He's the worse. He walks behind my desk about 2-3 times a day and every time it sounds like he's coughing his lungs out

tem said...

one guy here used to be a boxer and now his nose is fucked up. so he is constantly clearing his throat.

Jugdish said...

one guy here used to be a boxer and now his nose is fucked up. so he is constantly clearing his throat.



i would WORK him in the ring

WORK him

/Lp

Keef said...

hahahahaha

Keef said...

jersey mikes is definitely spendier



jersey mikes seems high

/jug

Jugdish said...

your face seems kind of high

/LP

Jugdish said...

and kod

Keef said...

and beth

Keef said...

because she's always on her back

Keef said...

or hands & knees

tem said...

just needs. her hands need to be working it too

Keef said...

should she gets some needpads?

Keef said...

get*

kod said...

Cousins is worse than Subway IMO, at least circa 2000 (last time I ate at one)...pretty identical to Subway IMO, but with sesame seeds on the buns (and I do not like sesame seeds)


as far as those types of places go, I like Blimpee's best...but all I ever get there is the meatball sub (which is fantastic, but can't say if any other ones are any good at all)

Keef said...

cmk wants to take the VW dealership to small claims court. We thought they were lying to us with the quote they gave us last weekend. They said they weren't rolling the Tiguan lease into the new lease. We found out today from a sister dealership that they did have that rolled into it. That's not the only reason why she wants to take them to court, but it's just another thing

Jugdish said...

judge joe brown

Jugdish said...

cmk wants to take the VW dealership to small claims court. We thought they were lying to us with the quote they gave us last weekend. They said they weren't rolling the Tiguan lease into the new lease. We found out today from a sister dealership that they did have that rolled into it. That's not the only reason why she wants to take them to court, but it's just another thing



probably not worth the hassle

Keef said...

Probably not. But we're getting nowhere right now with this. I'm still driving this car that could stall at any time. It's almost done it twice this week when I've been turning into traffic.

Keef said...

Good thing we got you that life insurance policy

/cmk

ToddPacker said...

" It's almost done it twice this week when I've been turning into traffic"

at least the wheels are falling off

ToddPacker said...

*aren't

Jugdish said...

Probably not. But we're getting nowhere right now with this. I'm still driving this car that could stall at any time. It's almost done it twice this week when I've been turning into traffic.



what exactly would you sue for?

Blue said...

they would sue for everything

Jugdish said...

cmk now own a vw dealership, but our car still stalls when turning into traffic


/keef

Blue said...

sue for fraud? that they aren't fulfilling their duties under the warranty?

Jugdish said...

the wolfpack does the same thing

/Lp

Jugdish said...

sue for fraud? that they aren't fulfilling their duties under the warranty?


i don't know...i was curious


sue for their face

Keef said...

what exactly would you sue for?



I don't know. Are you writing a book? (S)

AJA, I don't know. I guess filok is talking with his lawyer to see what we can do. We have a vehicle that has been in the shop numerous times, and it's obvious that it burns oil, and VW is saying that the low oil levels is what causes the stalling. So their answer to it is to bring it in once a month to have the oil level checked. It's a 2010, I'm not bringing it in every month for service. That means they're obviously something wrong with it. So we have a vehicle that doesn't run correctly and they aren't doing anything about it. So whatever category that falls under, we'll sue for that. And emotional damages. And whatever I can sue them for, for having to deal with cmk during this whole thing. That has to be worth millions at least

tem said...

let csilok drive it.

tem said...

let csilok drive it.

Jugdish said...

I don't know. Are you writing a book? (S)



no, just curious


whats wrong with you

Keef said...

whats wrong with you




Lots

Keef said...

let csilok drive it.



She has a VW. She'll find out soon enough

Jugdish said...

my brother took someone to small claims court once because the guy owed him money. he won because the dude didn't show. he would have won either way.

even though he won, he still had to file paperwork with the state once a month to have the guy's wages garnished until he was paid in full

Jugdish said...

that was in CO

Keef said...

That's fine. We'll garnish VW's wages

Jugdish said...

im not sure how often small claims court awards money for emotional distress

Jugdish said...

sometimes all you have to do is metntion "lawyer" and they change their tune. show them a pic of kod and tell them you'll sic this guy on them

Keef said...

It would have to be a bearded kod

Keef said...

clean shaven kod can't be taken seriously

Keef said...

And I couldn't have the picture showing him standing next to something so they can see he's only 4'8"

Keef said...

im not sure how often small claims court awards money for emotional distress



I don't either. I'm grasping at straws right now

Keef said...

If only we had a lawyer at LOV. I wish Mills was still here

Jugdish said...

those court tv shows go through small claims filings and offer those people to do on their show. my brother got an offer from the judge mathis show. Both parties have to agree to go on. the show pays the winner whatever they win, the show collects from the losing party.

he did not go on the show...but i did find that interesting

Meiz said...

"how can you get sick of the subway subs.

you can literally change it everytime"


The particular sub I get for that meal. I get to the end, and I'm sick of the damn thing.

Meiz said...

"Cousins is worse than Subway IMO, at least circa 2000 (last time I ate at one)...pretty identical to Subway IMO, but with sesame seeds on the buns (and I do not like sesame seeds)"


You should go to Cousins and change that opinion.

Keef said...

NY is worse than Boston IMO, at least circa 2000

kod said...

"sue for fraud?"



you could, but fraud claims can't be brought to small claims court in most (maybe all) states


"that they aren't fulfilling their duties under the warranty?"

that's the one

kod said...

"It would have to be a bearded kod"


there is no other kod; clean shaven kod was last seen circa 2008 or so

tem said...

Is this the "circa" era?

ToddPacker said...

circa wall

Jugdish said...

work

Jugdish said...

Is this the "circa" era?




Seems that way ever since March 2, 2012 4:38 PM or so

Jugdish said...

Seems that way ever since circa March 2, 2012 4:38 PM or so


fixed


duh

Jugdish said...

sports talk on the weekend sucks

kod said...

"Here is a run-down of events today (Duluth Minnesota):

9 a.m. - Silent solidarity gathering at Civic Center Plaza.

9:30 a.m. - Occupy Duluth diversity rally at Lake Superior Plaza, Superior Street and Lake Avenue.

10 a.m. - Supreme White Alliance rally at Civic Center Plaza; rally by the Bridge near Aerial Lift Bridge in Canal Park.

All day - Music jam at Amazing Grace café; arts and community discussion events across the city.


haha, it's the celebrate racism/fight racism festival in Duluth today I guess. KKK, ACLU, Tribes, Occupy....they're all showing up today. I wish I could be there, this sounds quite interesting.

Jugdish said...

10 a.m. - Supreme White Alliance rally at Civic Center Plaza; rally by the Bridge near Aerial Lift Bridge in Canal Park.



damn...ive been meaning to join that

/Lp and blue

Aitch said...

Comment

kod said...

The white power groups are coming because they're all pissed that Duluth is

1) doing a major undertaking to spread awareness of white privilege, and

2) calling it the "un-fair campaign".


-their basic argument is that minorities have more social services available, so everything is even and everyone is on the same playing field....I'm not going to lie, EP did come to mind for a second while reading their grievances with the city

tem said...

1st Saturday of the month cleaning done. Now its time to wreck the bathroom and go drink at the bar.

tem said...

American sign language is the most used language in the US behind English and Spanish.

kod said...

working on cleaning up here today; cmkod is out of town for a few weeks, so I have to be careful not to let things slide too far

debating tincture v. cl for tonight haven't had a drink since around Christmas, might be nice to switch er up a bit here

kod said...

"American sign language is the most used language in the US behind English and Spanish."



before learning otherwise on LOV, I used to think all sign language was the same internationally



I heart kik LOV

tem said...

I'm sorry my confidence is off putting, but I just think I am better than "you"

/white people to black people circa 1962

Jugdish said...

I'm not going to lie, EP did come to mind for a second while reading their grievances with the city


hilarity

Aitch said...

I just unintentionally called my ex a whore. Oops.

kod said...

"Nick Cannon has been stricken with a rash of health problems of late - including kidney failure in January and weeks later, blood clots in his lung."


that's too bad, I actually like the dude....autoimmune disorders are no joke (/kod, /keith)

kod said...

Damn, spending my entire Saturday reviewing the 100+ page OCFO 2011 financial guide from the DOJ and preparing budgets


I really could use tem's reader, or in the alternative, a financial background of some sort

Jugdish said...

I WORKED Lp in wwf!

kod said...

congrats Jug! there's a Seinfeld episode/Kramer martial arts joke there somewhere, but I just can't land it right now

ToddPacker said...

what is ep's wwf name?

ToddPacker said...

does tem still play wwf?

Keef said...

Coat* the vw dealership in another lie. They said our Jetta needed new pads & rotors. They said the rear brakes were metal on metal, would cost around $400.I told them I'd have my mechanic dad look at them. I went over today and we looked at them and the pad one one side was over half full. The one on the other side had about 1/8" pad left. The rotors were both fine, no scratches at all and there was no metal on metal

Keef said...

0% that LP plays WWF

Keef said...

Kod
Is acting in bad faith a "sueable" offense

kod said...

"Kod
Is acting in bad faith a "sueable" offense"


I apologize, but that's a bit broad for a short answer. Generally yes....and in contract claims (including leases) usually yes, but there are a number of other possible laws/policies that can override that (for instance in contracts, the parole evidence rule states that certain contracts must be in writing, no exceptions...somebody acting in bad faith could therefore make oral promises to the other party to the contract knowing that they could not be upheld due to lack of written agreement-that's an example where bad faith would be trumped by a counter policy/law: the rule of parole evidence)

kod said...

but, the upshot is that if there is no counter law/policy and you can show bad faith....a lot of times you can get costs, attorneys fees, and possibly even punitive damages (depending on the state...I know 0 of AZ contract law)

Keef said...

For instance. They told us it needed new pads and rotors. They also wrote it on the service invoice that we have. And while trying to get the car last week, they gave us a quote they they told us 5 times didn't include anything we owed on our remaining current lease and that the dealership was paying whatever was owed. However, we found out on Thursday that the quote did involve $2000 that we would owe on it. If I was able to get in writing from the sales manager that the $2000 wasn't added into our price, would that be valid in court.

Keef said...

Basically he tried telling us that he would help us because of our situation with our car, and the "deal" he was giving us was higher than I could get if I went online to get a quote

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Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino