Tuesday, May 31, 2011

Big News

I don't have any Big News. It would be cool if i did though.

More and more shit is coming out every day about Tressel now. I knew he had some issues at Youngstown State that everyone convieniently forgot about, but those are going to come out again. Plus there are stories that he rigged raffles at his football camps and all sorts of other stuff. He'll take a year off then take Urban Meyer's place at ESPN when Urban takes the tOSU job next year.

NBA Finals start today. Game 1 is in Miami but doesn't start until 9pm? Eff that. NBA almost sucked me in until they took such a long break between conference finals and real finals. Putting the game at a 9pm start means I am not watching it. Enjoy the game west coast. Damn west coast bias.

I think my UFC picks were great. Even if they weren't nobody cares. More fights this weekend. I didn't watch the fights saturday. They have to be the least watched UFC in years. That card was bad.

Anyone heard of fitbit. Fitbit.com. Check it out. Fitness geeks, tell me if this is cool or not. Thanks and Regards.

OK CFO in the hospital again, so I am acting CFO. Enough posting.

Monday, May 30, 2011

Day off

Hopefully everyone enjoys their day off. Except mize. Hahahahahaha



Eat some burgers and dogs, drink some beer, chant USA, USA, USA, USA.



Remember the veterans.

Friday, May 27, 2011

Do Day

Mavs in 6. Jug drop off the laundry for Chicago and make sure the sheets are in the bag because the Bulls shit the bed last night.

free credit report dot com commercials annoy me

Keef, since I can't comprehend your comment about Lindsay Lohan I wanted to make a list of woma(e)n and you just let me know if it's a yay or a nay. A few will be easy, a few will not.

Jennifer Love Hewitt
Jennie Finch
The Wife on Everybody Loves Raymond
Rihanna
Rachel Ray
Heather Graham
Ari's wife in Entourage or Franks wife in Old School
Leah Rimini
Misty May
Cindy Crawford
Fergie
Rudy Huxtable
Sarah Palin
Jamie Lee Curtis
Candace Cameron
Bai Ling
Chili from TLC
Lillian Garcia
Lark Voohries (aka Lisa Turtle)
Gabrielle from BH 90210
Dina Lohan
Lil Lohan (Ali?)
Britney Spears
Jamie Spears
Angelina Jolie (COLOV)
Beyonce
Heather Locklear (COOOOOOGAR)
Famke Janssen
Kara Digaurdio
Kelly Osbourne
Stacey Dash
Stacey Kiebler
Nasim Pedrad
Kristen Wiig
Beth
Elizabeth Banks
Francine the Secretary from Bad Boys (part one)
Sable (Lesnars Wife)
Marilyn Chambers
The T-Mobile Chick
Wendy Nix
Rachel Nichols
Snooki
Rebecca Romjin Stamos
Sharon Stone
Sheryl Crow
Erika Christensen
Michelle Rodriguez
Rosario Dawson
Lily Allen
The Flute/Band Geek girl from American Pie
Leann Rimes
Taylor Swift
Kate plus 8 bitch
Kong Khardashian
Kris Jenner
Dominique Dawes
Lucy Liu
Nastasia Liukin
Pink

For those scoring at home I'd do them all

Thursday, May 26, 2011

All country American Idol finale; Tim McGraw is the most played artist over the last decade...IN YOU FACE country haters!!!

Its cliche time for the Bulls. That means they have to "take one game at a time" because "anything can happen". Going into the series I did not think they would win, but I was given a little hope after the first game. They've been in every game since, but I think the wind is out of their sails after the game 5 loss. I hope they can steal one tonight and go from there. It looks like these two teams will have some good playoff battles over the next several years. Hockey playoffs are still better...they just are for a few reasons that I've covered before. I still like the NBA though.

Breaking news: Barry Bonds will pay for the Stow kids college education. That's cool.

All joking aside, how does that work? I imagine his kids are young. Does Barry just cut them a check now? Do they call him up when the kids are ready to go to college? Do they just send him a bill? Will he pay for grad school? I'd like to know these things.

Lp is LOV member of the week for the all gems he has been giving us. Congrats Lp!

random funny headline: "Accused Auburn tree poisoner pleads not guilty"

Greinke dapped a home run last night!

Everyone has a cell phone...do you people keep a home phone too? Actually a guy I work with does not have a cell phone. He is an interesting story. He is married with one kid...lived in a house right off base. I've known him for over ten years, and up until last year they have only had one vehicle, a 94 Explorer. His wife doesn't work and they home school their daughter. He is CHEAP! For example, at his house, if he uses a paper towel he rips it in 4 pieces so he uses some now and the rest later so it will last longer and he'll save money. On the flip side, that house is paid for (paid off in 8 years on one salary), plus he bought another house with a pool and is renting the original house. How cheap are you willing to be for something like that?

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

This is not the greatest post in the world

this is just a tribute..too the greatest post in the world


Heat won...yahoo!

Hines Ward won...yeehaw!

Canucks won...eh!

Jorge De La Rosa has to have TJ surgery...awesome!

Lakers are going to hire the Mike Brown...hooray!

remember kids, life sucks and sometimes you get raped...yikes!

Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Still May

Good try Thunder.

Good try Lightning.

I do not think Pedrioia deserves a sandwich.

Why doesn't El Tardo write articles anymore?

This post sucks.

Your face sucks.

I think players should be allowed to punch fans who run their mouths.

Monday, May 23, 2011

It's May, bro

The first weekend of inter league play is over. I don't know theists, but I'm gonna guess that the AL won more games than the NL. Cincy played awesome this weekend, but didn't win any games in Cleveland. Maybe they should have played shitty, they might of* one* won*. the Mess looked bad. The Twins got sweeped* by the Dbags.

I didn't really see much TV this weekend. Please allow me to go on a personal rant for a minute. Skip this paragraph if you want, it's a downer. I spent a lot of time over at my mom's because that's where my grandpa is spending his last few days. I take my little girl over there because that's really the only thing that makes him smile at this point. He lost like 20 lbs last week because all he's had since last Sunday is maybe a few sips of water each day. I don't even recognize him anymore. Cmk went with me to see him yesterday and she cried the whole way home. My grandpa actually axed my mom yesterday if she would take him to the vet because at least they have the decency to put dogs to sleep when they're incurable. I don't think he'll make it through this week, but I'll be over there every day with bgas. to at least try and give him a little bit of happiness. He gave me my first hair cut, taught me how to swim, he owned a repair place and always had a garage full of pinball machines and video games that we could play nonstop while he was fixing them, he gave me my first sip of beer (Old Milwaukee) when I was 6 years old, and even over the last few years he would come out and watch everyone of my softball games no matter how hot it was outside. I'm gonna miss that guy so much.

Ok, sorry about that. As much as that brought tears to my eyes typing it, I needed to get that out.

The Bulls are in trouble against the Heat. After game 1, I thought that chicago's size would be the difference but that hasn't been the case at all. Boozer is the biggest wussbag on the floor. Bro, you're a PF, get your ass under the basket and stop hanging out at the 3 point line. You should be owning Bosh but it's been the other way around. Rose needs to start creating shots for his teammates, too. Idont think he had an assist in the first half last night. Or maybe he had one. If he doesn't get any help, this series is over. Obviously.

Who's got plans for Memorial Day weekend? Cmk is going to Vegas, so I'm gonna try and spend some QT with bgas.

Friday, May 20, 2011

Seriously in love with you girl

So I'm on the train yesterday (a week ago), actually it was the Path, on my way home and I over hear these cackling chicks talking to these two lymie brits. And they are explaining the game of baseball to him. Like infant talk.

Like well you have two teams the batters and the pitchers and you have 3 outs per inning to score runs. If you make 4 balls you walk to first. That's why they call it a walk ::cackle whore laugh::. And the Brits were just staring at them not understanding shit.

My question is. Really? People from England don't even know baseball in general. I know baseball is America's past time but shit I have an idea about Rugby and cricket. Or tea parties or whatever the hell else those fags play over on that island.

Zombies vs Vampires who ya got? Cuz you can only kill Vampires by a stake through the heart and you can only kill zombies by blasting thier head off. But since zombies are not smart and since vampires cannot suck the blood you'd think we'd be at some sort of stalemate to find the answer. I'll take the Vampires because I think they are smarter and eventually will figure out how to kill zombies although, with no blood to drink not sure how they will keep up the strength to survive. Maybe Gatorade?

Who would choose the puffy cheez doodles over the crunchy ones? A moron. That's who.


Why does Sugar Ray still get played anywhere?

Krackle wins over Nestle Crunch.

Thursday, May 19, 2011

Two Things...

Two things I don't care about...

The Royal wedding. I can't understand why people would get up at 3 AM to watch that. (I know, I DVRd it. /Mize)

Any celebrity reality show...because really that is not reality.

Two things I find funny lately...

The Arnold movie quotes in relation to his affair.

The new H and TP era. "You know aside from his 14 affairs, Tiger Woods was pretty faithful."

Two things I'm looking forward to at Summit II...kod stories, the mize vs Lp 1 on 1 basketball game.

Where will you be at the end of the world this weekend? I'll be in Corpus Christi, hopefully drunk so I can really enjoy it.

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

Things that confuse me

Vanity plates- is your message that important?

women who hyphenate their last name - since this started happening the divorce rate has tripled, coincidence?

horror movies - why would someone want to be scared on purpose?

MMA - i would think their hands and feet would hurt afterwards

italics - just because?

air quotes - put your fingers away

people who say "whom" - (did you see my airquotes)

door to door landscapers - can't you see i already have grass, or is this an indictment on my ability to grow grass

fat women in heels - yes, those shoes make your cows look more like calves

fat women in miniskirts - oh good, i was wondering what your upper thighs looked like

signs telling me you just raised the prices - i didn't know what the price was before, but now i feel like i'm getting cheated

all you can eat buffets - as opposed to the other kind of buffets where you can only eat a certain amount.

Tuesday, May 17, 2011

Tuesday post

Yesterday As. did things that irk him. Today I do things I don't understand. Well a short list of them. I couldn't possibly list everything.

I don't understand why scientists can't just make more ozone. We don't have the technology for this? We can split atoms and do all sorts of cool stuff, but can't make ozone. For like 100 years scientists have made elements on the periodic table, man made ones are at the end or whatever, but they haven't figured out how to make ozone? Maybe we should have a 5K for Ozone. The 1st Annual Run For Ozone! We'll find out what color ribbon hasn't already been claimed and that'll be the ozone ribbon. Wear this ribbon if you support finding a cure for lack of Ozone.


I don't understand why 2 liters of pop aren't more expensive. Everyone knows 2 liters are the cheapest way to buy pop. Of course nobody does it anyway. I buy 12 pack cans because 2 liters always go flat and I am too lazy to pour pop into a cup. But anyway, what's the deal with the pricing? You can get a 2 liter at the store for the same price as a 20 ounce. Is it really just simple supply and demand? Why make them at all if you are selling them so cheap? Like someone is going to stop buying pop because 2 liters aren't available anymore. America is addicted to pop. We can't stop. Get rid of 2 liters and make more money.


I don't understand why it is so difficult for people to stick to the ideal of separation of church and state.


I don't understand why banishment isn't a option as a punishment for crimes. When did this practice end? Apparently we can now keep terrorists out no problem, what's another few thousand people? Seriously, you beat up some chick, off to Iraq. Maybe it is allowed there. Maybe that is the place for you. I don't know. Instead of banishment we just put people in prison and spend money. If we did banishment with the money we saved we could have universal health care or free porn for everyone. Banishment could provide scientists with funds to figure out how to make Ozone.


I don't understand why David Spade continually is on TV. Is he that funny?

Monday, May 16, 2011

Let me clear my throat

Here are some things that irk me...

It irks me when I'm watching a beisbol game and the announcer says something like "the count is even at 2-2" or "Dap Greinke is behind in the count 2-1". I've nerve understood that. 1-0, 2-1, & 3-2 are all even counts. If a hitter needs 2 balls for a walk and two strikes for a K, then he is not ahead in the count 2-1. I hate that shit. Let's start a movement to fix that.

People that get tattoos of either their own name or their own initials irk me. Is it in case you pass out and they need to identify you? Is it in case you get amnesia and want to introduce yourself to a chick? I'll nerve understand that either.

When I'm play golfing and the group in front of me has four people who, at best, are at my golfing skill level and they have to play from the blue tees. You dip shits irk me. I understand that you have a set of clubs that cost you $1000, but you suck at golfing. Play from the whites like the rest of us hacks. All you're doing is making this round 30 minutes longer for everyone. And while you're at it, stop taking a second tee shot because your first one didn't go past the ladies tee. You suck.

People that are not courteous irk me. How difficult is it to have manners? If I'm standing in the store, and I'm looking at something on the shelf, and you walk between me and the shelf, say "pardon me" or "excuse me". It's really fucking simple. Old geezers are the worst at this. They don't give a fuck if anyone else is in the store. They'll walk in your way, they'll stand in the middle of an aisle forever, oblivious to anything else going on. It's like they think that being around for 80 years has given them the right to be an ignorant asshole.

People that don't pay off their bet losses irk me.

People that are coming up to a red light, and they feel the need to pull into my lane in front of me because they don't want to be behind any cars at the line. Then the light turns green, and they are the last person off the line. Holy crap, that irks me more than almost anything. I drive fast. I usually leave the line at a green light first, so you douche bags that do that trick...get fucked.

And finally, people who have ridiculous cell phone ringers irk me. The ringer on my cell phone is set to "ring". I don't really want to hear a TI song, circa 2007, when your mom is calling you.

Thursday, May 12, 2011

Spot Start

Jug needs a spot start.


He was going here to see these people.


There are no links in that.


A poem for Obama by Jug:


Need to avoid certain disaster?
Call Obama, the solution master.
Whether it is finishing off Bin Laden
Or fixing the economy we are all applaudin'

Only a communist would hate the job he has done
Fixing the red white and blue is job number one
Health care for all and dead terrorists
A three year old would call him the bestestest

The only sad thing is that we can only get for more years
When he finally has to leave office people will shed many tears
He'll go down as the best president, that is a fact
And we all know once you go black you don't go back

USA USA USA USA USA


Poem is over.

Celtics are old and done and Memphis was who we thought they were.

Looks like the Angels are not going to play with any morales this year. I guess they are going to steal bases when up by 6 and throw at batters. It should be a fun team to watch. Cue Uncle Joey because a team called the Angels is playing without morales in 2011.

By the by, morales is how it is said in real life.

Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Spot Start

Blue has been out of town the last few days so i'm giving him a spot start.

Has anyone noticed that women with big boobs are more fun?

Is the NFL lockout over yet?

I have great hair

sometimes i like to try and sneeze and fart at the same time, it's challenging, but well worth it.

who invented cheese? I mean what guy stirred around the milk then let it sit for a while or however they make cheese.

Why are weinerschnitzel hotdogs so much better than store bought

Derrick Rose is the next Allen Iverson with a better attitude, discuss

Tuesday, May 10, 2011

Post 1-5 scoring

Apparently there were some good basketball games on. Until OT. 8 and 10 point wins in OT, or something like that. I shamoffed that up.

Was the KY derby good? I have not seen highlights. Or the entire race. A highlight of the derby is just the whole race. I still get mad that coverage is 7 hours and the actual event is a little over 2 minutes (TWSS).

Post 1 of TCS scoring:

Keith - 17

Jug - 13


Imma trying to do some more post scoring here shortly. I did not include any scoring from WWF yet. I'll tack that on later.


Post 2 of TCS scoring:

Keith - 27

Jug - 21


After 2 posts Keith is beginning to pull away from Jug. In post 2 scoring I had both jug and keith beating me in WWF and I had Keith beating Jug once.


Post 3 of TCS scoring:

Keith - 15

Jug - 22


Jug closes the gap a little bit. It'll be interesting to see what happens with post 4, which is the weekend post.


Post 4 scoring:

Keith - 42
Jug - 45


Jug used Walls to close the gap even further. Keith made good use of the easy dem tits and dat ass points. I don't think Jug posted a dem tit or dat ass yet. Keith has basically 16 points from them so far, maybe 20. Every day put up both.

And yes. This means they were tied going into the last post.

And no. I did not fix it so that they would be tied. TCS creates its own drama.

Post 5 scoring

Keith - 17

Jug - 14


Keith wins his 3rd consecutive TCS championship. Bastard. Jug left way too many points on the table by not going for natty zs. He had tons of comments, but timed them poorly.

Congrats Keith. Bastard.

Monday, May 09, 2011

Good post,Freak

I don't have much to say. Pretty much like everyone else at this dump. What the fuck is wrong with the place? If you take away the TCS (ahik*), we probably have a total of 250 comments this year. Added to that is the fact that there isn't even a TCS winner, and this year has suckt for LOV. Maybe the summit can save us.

Lakers got swept. At least they went down swinging. Not swinging in the figurative sense, as in battling. But in the literal sense. Odom threw a little hip check that that pussy Dirk couldn't handle. I thought that was weak, but I guess the refs wanted to keep it u deer control. But Bynam's shot was a good shot. It was cheap as he'll, but at least he got his money's worth...and he'll be paying some cashola for that.

Verlander threw another no-no. Good for him. He throws it fast.

I saw this video yesterday. It made me aitch. Dogs are weird.

I still need to find a new yob. But I should probably start looking. That would make it a little easier to find one.

Does anyone watch the Apprentice? Star Jones is such a cunty bitch.

I'll end it there. Go get 74 comments today.

Friday, May 06, 2011

Fridatass

fancy pants

Body of Lies is a good flick. Fuck it, I'll say it. Britney spears new song is hot. Great dance track. It takes a real man to say that. And a real man can dance.

Nike or reebok? Heinz or Hunts? Breyers or Edy's? Snickers or Baby Ruth?

Anyway the association had the night off and boy am I glad the Mets didn't sign Lackey. Almost did. Reyes ain't going anywhere. Spiff beat me to Hosmer. So did everyone else apparentely in my other leagues. Damn. Slept on that one.

Kids are so filthy. Little dirtbags. Cute as puppies though. Weird.

Thursday, May 05, 2011

Obama kilt* Osama

I was working last Sunday afternoon when they made an announcement over the base PA that the threat level had been increased to Bravo. That’s not an everyday announcement, so we all kind of looked at each other wondering if we really just heard that. We haven’t been in Bravo since after 9/11, and we were in Bravo for about three years. For us here on base it means increased security measures, more searches, doors locked at all times, etc.

About an hour after they made the announcement our commander called us into a meeting in which we all had to leave our cell phones outside the room (secure briefing). Sometimes people find out they are getting deployed in those kind of meetings. However, this one was just to confirm the new threat level and tell us they didn’t have any additional information. I didn’t know anything until I saw Obama’s speech that night. I watched the speech, listened to a little news afterwards, checked up on Facebook and Twitter for a little while, and since then I haven’t watched any news and just tried to stay away from it.

I didn’t want to see all the political debates about who deserves more credit, Bush or Obama. I didn’t want to hear all the conspiracy theories about the body. I don’t think it would matter if they showed the pics or not, there will always be doubters. There are still people out there who believed we never went to the moon. I think the death of Osama is a nice symbolic victory for the US and A, but it doesn’t put an end to anything by far. The war is not over. I saw people celebrating in the streets and I thought that was a bit much, but then again, I don’t think there is a right way or wrong way to feel about it. Someone who had to live through it in the city and walk home through all the shit like our boy Lp is obviously going to have different thoughts than someone who watched it all on TV in Webster, TX. The best summary I heard was from a caller on sports talk who said something like “Two parties, two administrations, one victory for one nation.”

So bottom line, the war is NOT over…USA!!! USA!!! USA!!! USA!!!...IN YOU FACE Osama!!!

Back to regularly scheduled programming: Keef, vote on this. Tp, you don’t get a vote.

I heard a new term today called “compassion fatigue”. Apparently it is what you are if you are overstressed from doing too much or just caring too much. Mize has just been diagnosed!

Wednesday, May 04, 2011

Something Happened Yesterday

I'm not sure what happened, but i'm sure it did

I've lost all interest in the NBA playoffs, i'm an awful "fan"

Too much talk here about Tebow and should he/shouldn't he be the QB this year, who cares, not me.

Pac-12 signed the most lucrative TV deal in college sports history. CU is going to get something like 20m$/year in TV rights...but we don't need to pay the players.

Tuition should go down at these schools, what do they do with all that excess? You can only build so many new complexes and weightrooms and crap. Most of the schools are public institutions, my taxes should go down now right?

Liriano threw a not hit game last night...Kod was probably estatic. Maybe Liriano will get his era under 8 now.

That's all for today...go light up the blogosphere with your witty and intelligent comments

Tuesday, May 03, 2011

Tem Post

This might be temfast, but I heard that Bin Laden got killed a couple days ago. Then the US Navy lost the body in a big pool. Goddman pools.


So who had Hawks and Grizzlies in the NBA finals?


Do the Pirates still suck?


If people would hang upside down for about 30 minutes a day would they not shrink as they get older?


Why does El Tardo have some dumb new website? Should I look and see what it is?


Who won TCS?


That foreign forward for the Hawks looks like a caveman.


Tits.


Can our student housing division have a regional manager if there is just one region?

Monday, May 02, 2011

USA, USA, USA



What an awesome ending to the weekend, huh? Despite the fact that it cut off the last 10 minutes of the Next Great Restaurant finale here and I had to look online to find the result, this was the best news that we've seen in a long, long time. And fuck those people who say either "Oh, I won't believe it until I see the body" or "I'm not happy he was killed, he's still a human being". Fuck off. First, the President isn't going to schedule a statement hours ahead of time unless it's 100% confirmed. And second, that guy lost any humane treatment a long time ago. Getting shot in the head and kilt wasn't enough in my opinion. I wish that he would have been shot and didn't die right away and had to suffer for a while before he died. That still probably wouldn't have been enough. I won't go so far to say that the world is a safer place today, because I don't think that's true at all. But having the key figure head of the most dangerous organization in the world dead is a giant step in the right direction. Obviously that's a huge understatement.
Here are a few highlights of the evening for me...
First, I hate how Obama pronounces Pakistan as "Pock"istan. That irks me.
Second, it's amazing how quickly the information gets out to the media. Two hours after Obama's statement, dude on CNN had the Google earth map up on the screen and was pointing out the compound where this operation took place. I can't wait until this either becomes a movie or someone like the Discovery Channel makes a show that describes how this operation unfolded, like how Discovery made that show about how the Navy snipers kilt* those pirates who had the US Merck ship captain.
Third, so much for that "he's hiding out in the lawless tribal region of the Afghan/Pockistan* border" theory. It sounds like Osama has been in this area for a while now.
Finally, I can't believe all of the people that are out on the streets partying at 2:00am (EST). It's pretty crazy seeing that in this country. It looks like how places like Egypt looked when their government was toppled, with thousands of people celebrating in the streets. Except this is during the middle of the night.

I will just leave this post at that for now, because nothing else that happened this weekend really matters, and this is going to be pretty much all that people are going to talk about today.

In conclusion: God Bless America!

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino