Friday, April 29, 2011

Draft Notes

I guess Bowers knee is fucked up. Guy sank like cement shoes.

Things I liked last night, welll first of all I like the NFL draft. Actually I love it. LOVE it. I should of did a Mock but post Easter week I didnt have time for that shit. I dont just throw the shit on the screen despite what keef thinks. as.

Anyway I loved the Von Miller pick, loved the Falcons trading up to grab Julio Jones. Love the value for Fairley and Prince for NY. Thought alot of talent late first round was available. Jaguars surprised agian with the Gabbert pick. Love the Titans taking Locker who is the total opposite of VY. Liked Spags Quinn pick. Pouncey could see Sparano's woody from my living room on that pick. Good stuff.

The only pick I hated was Minnesota reaching for Ponder. Well I didn't like the Nate Solder pick or the JJ Watt pick for Houston either. Think there were better players at that position at that point. Plus Houston's pass coverage is shit. And New England has no pass rush so that was baffling. Surprised Ingram slipped maybe cuz his daddy is in jail.

Jimmy Smith smoked weed? No shit. And drank before 21? GET THE FUCK OUT! Mort and Sheffy slayed me with that info. Mort stumbles with words alot. He could be mentally challenged.

Ravens passed. Retards. Then ran behind KC;s pick to prevent New England from running up behind KC. That was strange. Then KC reaches for some wideout. Then the Ravens took Smith, who was projected there since 21 Jump St. But then New England traded down. That shit was nuts. Thought New England would take Ingram. But New Orleans wanted him more. And paid for him. New England is crafty. Hey remember the Crafty Veteran? What a douche that guy was. Fuck Kevin Cott too. I hope he failed the bar exam 5 times.

NUBA....
Orlando out. Hawks rebounded nicely from a year ago. I miss Jamal Crawfords scent. Lakers better late than never. Back to being the fav out West.

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Mock Draft

I'm fairly certain my mock draft will be 100% accurate:

1. I will watch the first round

2. I will drink beer.

done!

Jon Gruden as a football announcer...no.

Jon Gruden QB camp...yes.

I'd like to see a UPS camp that mize runs like the Gruden QB camp. Bring back dummy and new guy, throw bossman in there. Those were good times.

I think we need a third party involved in this NFL lockout/dispute. Can the fans get together and hold out on watching games until the Sunday Ticket is available on more than just Direct TV?

Was TJW Canada's non-famous version of Charlie Sheen?

Wednesday, April 27, 2011

I'm on " vacation"

So this will be fairly short (twss).

I was going to do a mock draft but decided to leave that for ep on Friday. Instead I'll give you the top 5 because I know the draft order through 5 and that's about it .

With the first pick in the 2011 draft, the Carolina panthers select....Marcelo Darreus(only because I finally came to grips with the broncos taking him).

Broncos select Patrick Peterson, so he can learn from Champ, like champ learned from Darryl Green. If the panthers really do select Darreus #1, expect this pick to be traded so cincy can take akili smith(cam newton)

Because with the third pick the bills take Cameron Newton

4th pick for cincy (assuming they don't trade up) is Von miller, never can have too many pass rushers, look for them to take Christian Ponder in the 2 nd round

With the 5th pick Arizona selects Blaine Gabbert. Look for them to trade for a veteran like Kyle orton, or Donovan mcnabb to tutor Gabbert. Kurt warner ain't walking ( or dancing) through that door

Tuesday, April 26, 2011

Post 1305

Worst post ever.

Probably not.

TPS is bad here. I am not a good poster lately.

Had some good ideas though.

Still haven't scored TCS. (duh)

I'm pretty sure Zeke won.

Monday, April 25, 2011

TDILOVH

On this day, April 25th, 2008, the following happened...

557 comments.

LP's post was his annual mock draft. I think he got 4 right. Run DMC to the Jets, Chris Long to the Raiders, Desean Jackson to the Titans, Rashard Mendenhall to the Bears. Good times.

Beth starts the morning off with Braves talk and smileys.

El Padrino said...
peter king has ATL selecting Matt Ryan, so you know there is no fucking way that's happening
Like I said, good times.

LP said he did at least 15 Patron shots the previous night. LP is counts how many drinks he's had guy.

H was skip tracing someone in Wisconsin

Blue said he is moving to costa rica

Nevermind, must have been an Office quote because tp mentioned Toby.

SoTP called Aaron Heilman an assbag. Cmtp was upset but TPlaughed.

Random FMLB talk about holds. Apparently people don't like them or something.

I bring up that we should have a league that uses every category. I think we did that for the 2nd half of the season. That really wasn't fun at all. TWSS

LP was all pissed off because me and blue made some comments about him in LOVAD, to see if he would see them. He did. Everyone made the comments, but he only called me and blue pussies.

Keith S said...
"has meiz even been on yet?"
TWFMMS

Sorry, I laughed at myself there.

Blue has Megan Fox in his top 5 and Carrie Underwood is not. That's a shame. The rest of his top 5 are Marisa Miller, Jessica Biel, Jaime Pressley, and Jenny McCarthy. What??? I hope his list is updated now.

So it turns out that besides the #1 pick who had already signed the previous day, the only other picks LP got right in his post were Feix Jones and Kenny Phillips. good times.

I think zeke (RIP) called me a pussy for calling LP names in LOVAD. That made me laugh for a few minutes.



Ok that's all. It wasn't that grate* of a day, but I didn't want to have to think about anything to post.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Good Friday

On the holiest weekend of the year, I offer these thoughts in the spirit of brotherhood...








Thursday, April 21, 2011

Happy Easter! (that's Sunday)

This post is already longer than my post last week.

Tem asked about cruises yesterday. I've been on 4 and I've had a good time on all 4 cruises I've been on. Sure, they may not be as good as a Sandal's resort, but that doesn't mean they suck (Lp). You get pretty good bang for your buck (twss) on cruises. I've done 4,5, and a 7 day cruise. While I like being on vacations, on day 6 of the 7 day cruise I was kind of ready to be back home (wussbag). I've only gone on cruises out of Galveston, TX, so I can't tell you anything about the Mediterranean cruises. I went on Carnival cruise lines on all 4. Carnival is more suited for a younger crowd while Royal Carribean is more for an older crowd (suite! /tp). I thought the food was good and it always easy to get booze. You can also sneak booze on easily as well.

Mike and Mike posed an interesting question this morning...should college coaches do a better job of preparing their student athletes to be a pro player? Is that part of their responsibility? My opinion is no...their job is to win. If they don't win enough, they get fired...plain and simple. Did tp care of Meyer fixed Tebow's throwing motion or if they won national titles?

Jug is moving to the other building today or tomorrow...somewhere in there. Bummer. It will affect LOV time slightly. The real bummer (woe) is not being able to listen to music/talk radio since I'm sharing an office with 3 other people. I need to invest in a pair of good headphones (I wish there was something to cover your face!).

I don't have any "here/there" plans (loser!) this weekend. Hanging out with my brother's wife's family on Easter Sunday...that's about it.

Wednesday, April 20, 2011

NFL Schedule is out

I was going to run through every week and pick out the best game of each week and break it down.

but then I was informed that there is a work stoppage so there's no reason to get excited about the games.

Also, you guys don't care about the Broncos every week anyway. I will make one note...December 11th, the Bears come to Denver. Cutler vs the Broncos...prepare to be disappointed Jug.

How come everyone is an expert at running and golf. No other sports do people just offer up advice. I hear running advice from people all the time. Which is crap. Golfers always offer up "you're doing this wrong". Fuck you dude, leave me alone, you're no Hank Haney.

You don't ever see a guy in a pickup game say "you're fading left on your jumper" or "use 2 hands to make a pass" or "if you dribble with your head up, you'd see all the open guys"

Going to the Rockies game today, watch for the tweets, I know you'll all be jealous. Oh wait, what's that, you don't follow Blue on Twitter...well you're missing out on all my significant insight.

Melo crushed the hearts of all Knicks fans last night...here's to #almostwinning, which should be melo's new tagline

And i am rooting for him, because of O:FB

Rockies are gonna get swept by the Giants...so much for that feel good story

Tuesday, April 19, 2011

I lied

I lied. I didn't score TCS. But rest assured it is over and someone won.

It is like American Idol, I'll tell you on the results show. Whenever that is.


TPS has been a bitch lately. We are doing big corporate restructuring or at least talking about it and tem has to figure out where he fits in. It is a pain in my ass.

I think the Pirates beat the Reds in a series. The Reds have never won the Super Bowl when the Pirates beat them in a series during the year.

Yes I know I said Super Bowl, that is what makes the statement accurate. There is some fancy math term for it. I can't remember.

I did p90-X on monday and tuesday morning. On monday night I ran 3 miles on the treadmill. I am super sore. And dumb.

Monday, April 18, 2011

AHIK*

If you couldn't be a living creature and had to be an inanimate object, what would you be? You cant have any life at all, so bugs, humans, animals, plants, all out the door. I'd probably be a 34C bra.

If money didn't matter, and you could own any car, what would it be? Take into account this would be the car that you would drive full time. To work, with the family (if applicable), anywhere you drive your current mo-bile. I'd probably go circa 2003 and get a tricked out Escalade, with 22s, TV on every seat, Xbox, PS3, and a towing package to take my fake boat to the lake. Oh, and a pair of balls hanging down from the bumper. (s)

If you could live anywhere in the world, outside of the United States, where would you go? My first thought was Australia because I've always wanted to go, but I'm not sure I could live there because it's not really close to anything. So upon further review, I'd live in Vancouver. The reasons are threefold. One, it's close to the US so I could still be close enough to family. Two, I've been there before and it's a beautiful place. I could even deal with the winters there. And three, free healthcare.

If you could get paid to play any sport professionally, but it can't be one of the big four sports or golf (everyone picks golf), what would it be. This took me a few minutes to figger* out, but I'd probably go with NASCAR. I fucking hate that redneck shit, but I like driving fast, turning left, and drinking. Plus that seems like a "sport" where you can make a ton of cash, too.

If you had the option of winning $5 million and only living until 45 years of age, or earning a comfortable income and you and your wife/husband live to 100, what would you choose? And by comfortable, I mean you have enough to pay all your bills and eat out maybe 2-3 times per month, and maybe one ok trip per year. I think I'd choose to live to 100. I have nerve had money and I've been happy. And if I got to live to 100 and not be lonely and would live comfortably, I'd take that.

And now the last one. One of your favorite teams is in the championship games/series of their respective sport. The Super BowlTM, game 7 of the World Series, game 7 of the NBA or NHL finals, BCS championship, or the NCAA basketball title game. If you could choose one to see your team win the title in person, which one would you go to? Me? Hands down, I'd go see the Reds win game 7 of the WS. Baseball is my favorite sport, and Cincy is my team, so that's really a no brainer for me. I was at game 7 of the '01 Series and that was exiting as shit and it wasn't even my team. My personal opinion, game 7 of a championship series is > than the Super BowlTM.

That is all

Friday, April 15, 2011

Infidels Ruin Sports

I can't imagine how it feels to have your future in the hands of 12 men and women. I mean take Bonds for example. And cases similar to that where prosecuters have to convince member of the jury beyond the reasonable doubt that the defendant comitted a crime. Let's not talk about murder or anything close to that becuase really in this day and age how many murderers are getting put away falsely. DNA is a motherfucker. But could you imgine sitting around wondering if within a month or two you'll be going to jail? That shit has to suck. How can you even enjoy yourself during that time. And the longer they deliberate the worse. I barely can wait to find out what a test score is that I took one time and the results were like given in 10 minutes. Not knowing the sex of my first kid was excruitiating. And that was joyous! Is there ever a predicament in life that has two totally different results than Not Guilty, your free to Guilty your getting buttfucked and will barter cigarettes and snickers for the next ____ months/years. I can't think of one.


I feel like I have great ideas but never enough cash to invest into it. I have this one idea in paticular that I refuse to share until cuz it's so money. It's for cell phone companies. If me and blue end up at the Summit (AHIK) I will propose we incorporate a company together. I will provide Blue with ideas and he will finacially back them. We will call this company BLUEP INC. (pronounced Bloop) and we will pay taxes appropiately. Blue can also, since he's a fancy CPA, run the books and I can maybe invest our cash balance in the market. If any excess exists of course. Beth will be our slutty secretary. All other applicants will have to apply. Maybe we'd retain Kod for legal counsel. Not sure yet. Some of our products will include Brooklyn Tap Water because there is not enough bottled water options out there right now. This will also double as a major distributing cash cow shipping Brooklyn tap water from my sink to small businesses outside of NYC like pizzerias, pretzel makers and bagel shops to make the dough taste better. There is a market for this believe it or not. Use the fancy google button to check for yourself.

Hockey playoffs are suite. Don't deny it. Why? I don't know. Why is it so much better to watch it now as opposed to watching a regualr season game? I don't have the answer to that.

NBA playoffs start this weekend. Some people hate basketball here. Not I. Just remember my pain that you all love to laugh at. The Knicks were great when I was a kid, not so much when I was an adult. So I'm pretty pumped. Throw in the fact they have a shot to beat Boston and I'm cock hard over this. T usually handicaps the playoffs so maybe in the comments he'll bless us with some picks. Don't ask me I have no fucking clue. I hate all the favorites. I'd be ok with a Dallas/Thunder vs anyone but Boston/Miami/Philly/Indiana/Chicago.

Ozzie Guillen would make a great guidance counseler. How come Josh Hamilton didn't blame God for his actions leading up to running for home? He gives him props but he should have taken him to task for allowing him to make that decision. Jehovah was your third base coach on that play Joshua. Repent.

Sources: Biffle finalizes new contract with Roush... Nice I was beginning to think this wasn't gonna happen. I'm so happy now.

Yuck, Tax Day. Eat nuts IRS.

Thursday, April 14, 2011

(not me)

TPS shit storm this morning...I may post more later I may not.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Fucking Car Dealers

dude who lives 2 doors down from me owns his own little used car dealership.

He helped us get our newest car for a super cheap deal. As part of the deal we told him he could sell our old car (which we still had a loan on). So we were going to continue to make payments until he could get it sold. He thought he could sell it in less than 30 days so we wouldn't have to make another payment. Well, he did, he found a guy and sold him the car.

Here's where shit gets interesting. So he calls and says he wants to come by and pick up the title today. I told him, we have to pay off the loan before we get the title for the car. He was confused. I told him, the bank holds the title until you pay off the loan, you know that. He seemed to think the car was paid for free and clear. Because I just shit money I guess.

So now he's trying to figure out what we all can do to get this straightened out, but worst case scenario is that i'm fucked because I'll end up getting the car given back to me and I'll have to make payments on it again. Even though we walked through the whole process with him from the beginning.

I can't make this shit up.

Rockies and Mets got rained out. Stupid El Nino.

Lakers are plowing the spurs right now in a competition to see who can finish the season on a worse* slide.

LOV Summit II. Blue wants to go. He has to figure out how to convince cmblue. Maybe diamonds, i don't know. I heard Tyler knows a good florist. Maybe I can send her to see her parents that week, that would make her happy.

the thunder has been talking shit trying to get a little rivalry started with the nuggets. Kind of funny for a team that hasn't won anything yet, acting like they're the lakers or some shit. They'll be the best team in the West next year, but that's next year young fellas, calm down.

I hate Manu Ginobli, with the intense kind of hate that would make me want to punch him in the nose if I ever saw him. By all accounts he a nice enough guy, but he's a douche.

This is the most effort i've put into a post in a while and it's complete and total crap.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

TCS finals

1st Ketchup:

"from SG:
My son watched a few holes of the Masters with me on Sunday. He's nearly 3 and a half and hasn't figured out how to crap in the toilet yet."

this means cmsg doesn't want her baby to grow up fast. last children always get potty trained late because mommy doesn't want them to grow up.


"We've had numerous fights about it. Basically comes down to, if it's for something like a bachelor party, she won't be a bitch about it."

if only one of us were getting married shortly after the summit you could just say it was for a bachelor party.


"jug
h
kod
keef
mize
tem
tp (maybe)
Lp (0%)

that right?"


tyler too.





No Suprise, Jug vs Keith in the finals.





max points per day: 30
double dragon: 3 points - if i think you faked it i will deduct 2
natty z: 1 point -all nattys must contain at least 20 words combined for the 4 comments
prime z: 3 points
60 min wall: 3 points
120 min wall: 5 points
240 min wall: 7 points
480 min wall: 10 points
600 min wall: 20 points
good dat ass: 2 pointts -max 1 per day per person
bad dat ass: -2 points
good dem tits: 2 points -max 1 per day per person
bad dem tits: -2 points
good TWSS: 2 points
good LMC: 2 points
baiting someone: 5 points
failed bait: no penalty
first comment: 1 point
15th comment: 1 point
sparta: 2 points
spam: -10 points. spam is bad.
rev: 20 points
204th comment: 3 points
failed new/old: -2 points
new/old: 2 points. a split new/old between 2 people is worth 1 point per person.
block: 1 point
good comment: 1 point
Beating me in WWF: 3 points
Jug Beats Keef in WWF: 5 points
Keef Beats Jug in WWF: 5 points
Update on whereabouts of the guy who sang humpty dance: 5 points

Monday, April 11, 2011

Golf talk

Another no name wins a major. I agree with mize about hating to see no names win these tourneys. These motherfuckers come out of nowhere, win the big one, and then never do anything else special. Some people think it's cool that someone who hadn't won before can win a major like this, but not me. I think that they should only invite people who have won on the PGA tour to play in the Masters. The British Open should only invite PGA or European winners. The US Open, they have their "anyone can play if they win a qualifier" rule. So whatever, keep that. The PGA Championship, who cares, noone likes that tourney anyway. Point is, the Masters is a special tournament, just let winners play it. Just don't let people named Charl Adriaan James Lindsay Schwartzel play, because they might win and taint your tournament.

You know what was awkward, too? That green jacket ceremony in that "cabin". I don't think they're really in a cabin. But you have the low amateur there, some Japanese kid from where the tsunami hit. You've got the old fuck Masters chairman sitting there. You've got Mickelson there, are shiny and looking like he just stepped out of the shower, his hair slicked back like Pat Riley, and a tan line on his face whet his entire forehead is white as mize. It's just a weird setup.

Keeping with the Masters theme, Sunday's round was probably one of the best rounds I've seen. Just about everyone in the top 20 had a really good round going. I'll get to Rory McIlroy in a minute. But guys were there to win it in Sunday. I've nerve seen so many chip-ins, long putts, hole outs (TWSS), and basically strong shot making in general in the final round of a tournament, let alone the Masters. At one point on the back 9 there were 5 tied at -10 and 5 tied at -9, and a couple at -8. And none of those included the guy who went into the final round at -12, which was 4 shots ahead of the field. Poor fucking bastard, that Rory McIlroy. To be ahead by 4 shots to start the day, still be tied for the lead at the turn, and then lose by ten fucking strokes has to sting the nostrils. Dude shot 80. And his display on the 10th hole wad amazing. I think he hit a house, 3 trees, the windmill, and the clown's head before he got to the green. Greg Norman thought Rory was a wreck yesterday. I guess he can take solace in knowing that even if he shoots even par that he still would of* lost by two. Nah, fuck that. Dude should be embarrassed. And I'm not a fan of his, so I was enjoying his meltdown.

It's tough typing on this screen whilst I'm trying to feed bgas. with my other hand.

More golf. It was good to see Eldrick with a chance to win on the back 9 on Sunday. But as clutch as he was on the front 9, he was the EO on the back 9. Once he tied for the lead the second time with that eagle on 15, I thought he had it. But alas, that was basically his climax. Too bad, though. It would have been suite to see him win it.

Other stuff happened this weekend too. The Red Sux said notsofastmyfriend and tried to turn O:FB into O:FNY. Which, really, I'm cool with either one of those. The goddamn Reds lost 2 of 3 to the goddamn Dbags. Breer's won 2/3 against the Cubs. The Mess are still messy. And Poo-holes is batting kod's weight.

I should book my plane ticket to Texas this week. Maybe I'll test aitch's Tuesday theory. WOOT

Friday, April 08, 2011

Friday

Just about a full week of beisbol has past and everything is already in place. Texas, Cincy two surprise teams from last year clearly were no fluke and no it's not too early to tell. Boston being 0-6 with the Yanks coming in is hilarity.

What do you suppose that valet kid said to Gloria James that set that bitch off? Maybe a Delonte dig? Or something bad about bron bron? I'd like to know.

Rose won the MVP last night. Again.

Man I feel for the guy, really I do, especially since his wife and kid were with him but media is making a huge deal out of this giant fan getting his shit rocked. I don;t see the outrage anywhere else. Like searching for the kids in the taco shop fight.

I guess you guys want me to talk about golf now. There is a big tournament going on where the winner gets to don a green jacket. Ugly as hell that thing. Anyway Tiger won't win because he has the clap so there I talked about it.

NFL locked out. Still. And draft fast approaching. They tell me no trades can go down. Getting tired of this.

Stickball is cool. Youz ever play stickball? Kickball was tight too.

Backroom casting couch is fun.

Thursday, April 07, 2011

0-5

No team that has started 0-5 has ever made it to the World Series. On a better note...the Sports Guy said he won't tweet until the Red Sox do win a game. On an even better note LeBron has joined forces with the Red Sox, so O:FB and O:FM have joined forces...suite! LeBron is a Yankees fan, so maybe he can FNY in the process.

Jug's weekend plans: This weekend cgjid and Jug are taking a road trip to this part of the state. We will be staying here. While in San Antonio we will have lunch here somewhere on Saturday. Saturday night we will have dinner here, followed by a concert here to see this guy. He's good, hell of a songwriter too. On Sunday on the way back she wants to stop here (dammit). No trip in Texas would be complete without a stop at one of these gas stations. That was too much effort.

What are you doing this weekend?

Anyone else book their flight to Austin yet?

Softball tonight. Game is at 6. Jug is bringing out his grill and the team is going to cookout and heckle other teams after our game...good times!

I had an email in my Inbox from Colonel Knickerbocker...Lp's favorite person in the military. I thought his email was going to be really important with a lot of good direction like everyone said it was going to be, but it turned out to be overhyped and quite pointless. It used a lot of words though.

Go!

Wednesday, April 06, 2011

What's an aggie

i've always wondered that.

I think i looked it up once, but then how come all the aggie teams have different mascots.

Going to see Howard Schultz speak today. I'm prepared to be dazzled.

Big day for the NFL. They get to have their day in court. I'm not sure any of this matters except that the lawyers keep getting richer.

Things have gotten so bad that NFL players are stealing from Casinos.

The redsux are 0-4. O:FB has come full circle. No team has ever started the season 0-4 and gone on to win the World Series...look it up, it's a fact.

Mets beat the phillies and cool cole hamels. O:FP is coming along nicely as well.

The rangers..oh my...and the orioles, who knew.

TCS sucks, the rules are always slanted towards the people who care. Somebody may win the TCS but in my poll they won't get the #1 ranking, that would go to EP, because he carries this place.

Tuesday, April 05, 2011

Round 2 time

Big East gets minor vindication I guess. Maybe it doesn't suck that bad.

Competitive 1st round.

Keith 54
Spiff 51

Keith as the #1 seed got all he could handle. Spiff sandbagged too much in the round robin and ended up against one of the people who seems to actually try to win. A close battle all the way. 2 late walls put Keith over the top.


beth 17
freak 21

Freak wins. I don't think either of these people tried at all.


Tp 41
blue 38


TP with a solid effort holds off a late rally from Blue. Blue now has to sit at home in one of his mansions and wonder what could have been.


Jug 55
El pad 53

Jug wins on a last second 7 point wall. It was like Butler against Duke last year, but only Butler made the shot at the end of the game. El Pad has to wait until next year to possibly cash in on his first TCS title.


Round 2 matchups:

Keith vs Freak - Keith should breeze in this matchup. Think Kansas vs VCU. Keith is a 10 point favorite.

TP vs Jug - TP has been solid so far, but will age catch up with him? Jug is an early 2 point favorite, but will he take it too slow this round?


Rules for this round:

max points per day: 30
double dragon: 3 points - if i think you faked it i will deduct 2
natty z: 1 point -all nattys must contain at least 20 words combined for the 4 comments
prime z: 3 points
30 min wall: 2 points
60 min wall: 3 points
120 min wall: 5 points
240 min wall: 7 points
480 min wall: 10 points
600 min wall: 20 points
good dat ass: 2 pointts -max 1 per day per person
bad dat ass: -2 points
good dem tits: 2 points -max 1 per day per person
bad dem tits: -2 points
good TWSS: 2 points
baiting someone: 5 points
failed bait: no penalty
first comment: 1 point
15th comment: 1 point
sparta: 2 points
spam: -10 points. spam is bad.
rev: 20 points
204th comment: 3 points
failed new/old: -2 points
new/old: 2 points. a split new/old between 2 people is worth 1 point per person.
block: 1 point
good comment: 1 point
Closest guess to my Dad's Age without going over: 5 points 1 guess per person
Update on whereabouts of the guy who sang humpty dance: 5 points

Monday, April 04, 2011

Go Butler

Big weekend for sports. UConn & Butler win the right to play for the title tonight. MLB regular season kicks into full gear. Lefty wins the tuneup for the Masters. NBA is finishing up the regular season. And hockey is still going on I think.

Don't forget about NCAAWBB. /freak

LP, I need a name/pic for our big east/tosu bet. #anti-weasel

On to beisbol. Grate start to the season for Cincy. Sweeping the Breer's and having the Cubs & Cards lose 2/3 is suite. Now they just gotta watch out for those goddman Pirates. Also in beisbol news, O:FB is still cruising along. Red Sux are 3GB after 3 games, to of all teams the O's. Longoria is out for a month-ish, so the Rays season is basically over already after getting swept by Bmore. Yankees pitching is really bad. At least they can rake to make up for it. I'm stoked that beisbol season has started. That means basketball and hockey are almost over.

Mize had rasslemania chills last night. He said that he and the rock are no longer on speaking terms, but I don't believe him. Mize ♥s Dwayne's johnson.

I made vanilla & chocolate chip cookies cast night. Winning.

My neighbor's kids were rocking around in their pool yesterday. Fucking water is about 65° right now. That's way too fucking cold. That would make your nuts get lost.

Bgas. turnt 2 months old yesterday. She needs to slow down a little. She's gonna be on the pole before I know it.

Ok that's all. Hopefully I can get hsil to make a guest post next week

Friday, April 01, 2011

El Pad's 2011 MLB (AL) Preview

AL West - Easy

Texas Rangers (88-74)
- Since I'm not a fan of going with the trendy AL West division winner pick since they are always wrong I'll stick with the incumbent. They should just be good enough. Texas has a powerful lineup and a sneaky good rotation. I really think Lewis can be better and Wilson has filthy stuff. If Webb can contribute a plus, if not they have surplus offense to trade for a starter. Beltre is a good fit there and has some sick Arlington numbers. After figuring out the Mike Young situation they should be fine. I like a full year from Mitch Moreland. And props to Jon Daniels getting Beltre, all three AL west teams were hot for him, even his old team. Just wish they would have resigned Lee. Player to watch : Mitch Moreland, could see a .290 20HR, 80RBI line from this kid.

Oakland A's (84-78)- Oaktown got the pitchers to play with anybody, maybe even scare Texas but the offense is kind of a disaster. I mean Matsui's knees are made of U-Don noodles. But if you look at the champs, the A's are kind of similar. The A's have crazy good pitching and a very good bullpen. They field well so if the offense can generate some runs here and there you are looking at a dangerous team. Coco Crisp's health is important, Josh Willingham and his giant head hopefully can hit 20 HR's but outside of that I mean David Dejesus is a nice player but not a huge upgrade. Player to watch : Gio Gonzalez's curve ball. BENDER.

Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim of Angels of Los Angeles (80-82) - Just not sure what happened to them this off-season. Usually they got the bread to throw around and get a big name. Crawford, Lee, Werth (not ideal but still) instead they end up with Vernon Wells. I see they get Morales back and that will be a big plus but they still have a shitty offensive infield. Bunch of guys with low OPS #'s, only way they challenge for division if is one of them make a comeback. Player to watch : Bourjos, he needs to be a top of the order force and steal bases.

Seattle Mariners (69-93) - So 2009 was an abberation. Got it. This Mike Pineda kid. I like. If they can hold on to King Felito' and this kid comes along. Let's say Bedard has a bounce back year (had a nice spring) and Justin Smoak goes beast mode you could be looking at a nice team come 2012. Too bad this is 2011. At lease ownership/GM/coach and maybe fans understand this. The farm system has some promise and the bullpen is pretty solid already. Player to watch : Justin Smoak. Justin Smoak. Justin Smoak. Justin Smoak.

AL Central - The Al East of the Midwest

Detroit Tigers (90-72) - I'm going with the best rotation in the division. Verlander is a potential Cy Young candidate, Scherzer really had a strong second half and is filthy, Coke makes the leap from sturdy reliever to dependable starter and I'm also very high on Porcello who finally put it together in the second half and has a ton of talent. If Brad Penny can give them anything it will be a plus. Offensively Cabrera is the glue in that lineup and the trouble he caused himself a month ago doesnt seem to be affecting him or the team so that is a good sign for Leyland. Austin Jackson makes the team go and plays strong D up the middle. I like how 1-8 they have a guy who can put the ball in the stands. It's a powerful lineup and I think they edge out the Twins for the division. Player to watch : Justin Turner, a kid reliever who throws gas. Could be a bullpen injection come late summer.

Minnesota Twins (88-74) - Dirty secret of mine. I like the Twins. I root for them under my breath. Something about the baggie dome as a kid and the way they play the game I just like it. Unfortunately with a strong AL east, again, you have to win the division to advance in these parts and I got the Twins a couple of games short of that. This Morneau thing was just weird. Kubel with 600 at bats is a problem for me. I like the rest of the lineup, defensively fine and the bullpen is very good. Rotation, for me, is good but low good. Something about Pavano being the ace bothers me. He'll be pitching against #1's and #2 of other teams outside the division and I just think it's not a good matchup for him. Suite September schedule though..... Player to watch : Liriano is only 27, could he make the Johan leap? Or was his 2nd half decline for real.

Chicago White Sox (82-80) - How many more years are we going to do the Mark Buerhle ace thing? Just stop it already. Gavin Floyd rocked like a 6.44 ERA for like two months. Can Peavy make 15-20 starts? Matt Thornton to close? Is Gordon Beckham going to have the year he's expected to? Will Konerko repeat 2010? Notice the question marks I keep creating here. That's how I feel about this team, lots of question marks. Sure Adam Dunn will hit 50 HR's in Chicago. Alex Rios? Fucking Jaun Pierre has been a part time player for the past 2 years now he's the leadoff hitter in Ozzie's lineup. Bottom line, the rotation is not as good as people think. Player to watch : Aforementioned Gordon Beckham, had a nice comeback in the 2nd half after a dismal start. Wonder if it was an anamoly.

Cleveland Indians (78-84) - Hey look at us we won't suck as much as you think! Assuming the injuried stars return and stay healthy. Not sure if you knew this but the Indians had a top 5 staff the second half of the season. They also found a closer in Perez last year. They will be a pesky team and maybe even throw a wrench in the AL Central Divison race some September. Player to watch : Matt LaPorta. Hurry up fat boy this is your last year to show them you will be good.

Kansas City Royals (66-96) - How can a team suck every year and never improve? I just fail to understand shit like this. Once again the Royals are going with the tried and true method of fringe major leaguers and not ready rookies. Alex Gordon has a Ruthian spring so there's that. Oh my god Bruce Chen is in the rotation. This is bullshit. Player to watch : Not Bruce Chen. Kila Ka'ahihue, 1B. Speaking of Kila I like those Hawaiian shaved ices.

AL East - Yanks/Sox reign almost over

Yankees (98-64) - Yes they missed out on Cliff Lee (twice) and yes the Petite retirement was a big blow but read the lineup aloud several times. Remember despite being 36 Arod is healthier now than the past two years, years in which he still drove in more RBI's than only 4 players. Robinson Cano is becoming unpitchable which gave Nick Swisher so many opportunities last year it explains his strong numbers. After CC the rotation is suspect. Agreed. But AJ Burnett was allowed to have a bad year. This guy still throws mid 90's, he hasn't lost velocity and still has a vicious curveball. I think he bounces back and I like Nova, the 4th starter. Freddy Garcia is a professional and better than most 5th starters. The bullpen is solid. Either way, when it's trade deadline time you know the Yanks will be in play for whoever is available and putting Cliff Lee aside, they usually get their man. Player to watch : Phil Hughes, can he shake off the bad ending to last year and be a steady #3 guy?

Red Sox (94-68) - I talked about the Yankee lineup being awesome and I have to say the Sox lineup isn't very far behind. Great depth and solid throughout, LMC. Fact is it will come down to the pitching, always does. After Lester there are some question marks in the rotation that include Beckett, Lackey and Dice K. Three once very good pitchers. Health a concern. Control issues more of a concern. If those problems don't exist the Sox will be right there and could overtake the division but I think one of these guys will falter and Papelbon staggered plenty last year so you wonder about him a bit. Player to watch : Ellsbury is a shitstain. That is all.

Baltimore Orioles (88-74) - Fuck that I'm not ignoring the Orioles play in the 2nd half once Buck came and strangled that clubhouse. They had a great winter and have a few young arms that can really be successful this year. Sure Reynolds strikes out an obscene amount but when he doesn't he goes yard. Especially in Camden Yards, Fenway and Yankee Stadium he might hit 50. Derek Lee and Vladdy Daddy bring veteran leadership and good offense. Markakis is a solid ballplayer. I'm big on Adam Jones this year and Luke Scott mashes. Orioles rotation is young but nasty. If any of them falter enter Zach Britton. I'm way high on this team maybe more than I should be but they will score alot of runs this year. Orioles have had 13 straight losing seasons, I mean that just has to snap at some point right? Player to watch : Britton hands down. He'll be in this rotation soon enough.

Tampa Bay Rays (80-82) - I think this team is relying on too much youth this year. I mean Hellickson was good in limited rotation action but over the whole year it's a question mark for me. After Price who else? Shields will have to have a rebound year and Wade Davis/Niemann combo scares no one. They completely re-tooled the bullpen and really have no closer. The off-season splashes they made were Damon and Manny which would have been suite if it were 2004. They lost defense, a strong suit the past few years they contended and they lost Crawford, Pena and Garza. I think they regress this year. They have the worst offense in this division and it's not even close. Player to watch : Jake McGee, could be that closer Maddon is looking for.

Toronto Blue Jays (72-90) - Another strong offensive team in the AL East. But was the year Bautista had for real? Has to be, only Brady Anderson went from 50 back to his average (18). Everyone else who hit 54 or plus 50 are Sosa, McGwire, Griff JR and Ruth. Damn. Marcum trade brought back a nice 3B prospect that could contribute this year. But Lind and Hill need comeback years for this team to be .500. It's a tough division and a tough league. The pitching is pretty good not a fan of the bullpen though. Player to watch : Kyle Drabek, kid got the pedigree.


Awards MVP - Robbie Cano Cy Young - Jon Lester ROY - Zach Britton

Playoffs Yanks over Rangers, Tigers over Sox Yanks over Tigers NL over Yanks

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino