Friday, December 30, 2011

The End of December

A year ago I posted this:

"whoops
i forgot to post

Sorry about the streak Freak.

Not picking meaningless games.

I'll take the Rams on sunday night. And Faith Hill.

Happy New Years Eve.
Posted by El Padrino at 9:35 AM "

And while the audience is limited I think LOV deserves better and it's gonna be 2012 don't forget, according to the Mayans shit is about to get real. For that reason LOV deserves a solid post.

First a year in review.

Outside of the death of Osama Bin Laden (Navy Team Seal Six what up) nothing really nuts happened (Arab spring? please, they replace a dickhead with another dickhead). We didn't have a Captain Sully moment I mean. The hilarious death of Kim Jong il was pretty newsworthy but in the "everything else not politics section this year" was pretty boring.

Well Weinergate was pretty awesome. /EP.

We pulled out of Iraq the same time Herman Cain pulled out of another former secretary.

Let's face it politics suck anyway. All of them are egomaniacs that can't keep their dick in their pants. Or old lesbians who should be playing bingo in their nightgowns. Or big gay communists.

Some things happened and continue to happen in Economy land but no one outside of me and blue care about it. So I'll skip that.

The internet got hotter. TV's will soon be live, like in your face LIVE.

Apple hypnotized people again. Steve Jobs died because he thought he was smarter than everyone else when it came to treating cancer. He would have died anyway, pancreatic cancer has the highest kill rate but it didn't have to go down like that Steven. Wish there was an app for cancer.

Never Forget, 10 years later.

Gabrielle Giffords and the horrible Arizona shooting.

Casey Anthony how ya doin.

Some young british douchebags got married.

Tears for Japan.

Charlie Sheen lost his shit. That was fun. #tigerblood

Rebecca Black, Kim K, Mob Wives, Extreme Couponing.

The rapture was fun.

No more space program. :(

Tornadoes win comeback player of the year. Jesus those things fucking suck.

Most of the news from 2011 was sports talk. Which is fine by me. We endured two pro lockouts, one of those resulted in missed games. The Lombardi trophy came home, the Larry O'Brien trophy alluded enemy #1, the Cardinals somehow did what they did in 2007 and it worked again, weird I know and O:FB had a lapse in judgement in the NHL.

O:FB woke up and raped the Red Sox with an epic, historic and hilarious collapse that cost people jobs, Bud Light, sleep and fried chicken.

Braves collapse was pretty suite.

Al Davis dies 40 years after he died.

TEBOW!

If I said conference realignment would you know what I meant?

Sweater vest gone. Urb in.

Vancouver riots. Those crazy Canadians.

Down goes Frazier.

Womanz soccer was pretty suite.

Melo.

The sickest March Madness tourney of my lifetime. 3 double digit seeds were in the final four. Some dude named Shaka was involved.

And

um >>>>> ::pointing to elephant in room::

This sad story out of Penn State.

Switching gears.....

My take on New Years Resolutions and New Years Eve/Day in general.

I think it's funny when people say they want World Peace as if they even know what that means. World Peace doesn't exist. Christians only know World Peace as the time period before Adam took that bite of forbidden fruit. The only piece I'm aware is from the ever loving jingle break me off a piece of that kit-kat bar. And if you're an aethiest then shit you ALREADY know world peace doesn't exist so no one needs to tell you.

Working out, eating better, etc. resolutions always crack me up. Because of the sheer laziness of the resolution #1 and because it means for 3 weeks in January you won't eat carbs or you'll do some pushups every morning for a week. Then it's over. So lame.

A real resolution comes from imagination. Creativity. Example, this year I want to focus on my self education. I'm going to learn another language and read five books on the economy to better understand it and get my real estate license. Or this year I'm going to enroll in cooking classes, learn to salsa and re-dedicate myself to my wife. ROMANCE!

Things get taken for granted daily. Wives and great people are some of those things. One of the only good things about new years eve is remembering those things and trying to remember...going forward not to misremember them. Make sense?

I wake up, kiss my wife and kids tell them I love them and go to work. I try to live a drama free life, I try and not be a shitty person to other people and I try to eat relatively well. I do this all year round. And as a shocker to you all, I agree with Keef. New Years is overated. It's overated because there is no meaning. A Happy New Year doesn't even exist, it's like world peace. As anyone in the history of mankind ever gotten through a whole year being happy every fucking day of one year? Outside of Hugh Hefner of course. No. Of course not. A rainy day could ruin a Happy Year.

Have a happy AND healthy new year! Oh thanks for the jinx asshole. Now the hypochondirac side of me is worried about this sinus headache turning into a brain tumor. It's just another day people. The first day of the first month. Nothing more. Sure this sounds old and like the late great Andy Rooney and so what. I'm getting old(er).

My view has changed on alot of things. I used to hate coffee. Now I don't. I used to be able to drink a 12 pack of beer and feel like a million bucks on Tuesday. Our bodies are shit. I hope you all know this. Either way I don't give a damn about your new years resolution so save it. (unless it's super creative and/or makes me laugh)

Happy New Year assholes.

Onto the picks.....

Another slate of meaningless games, and they want to expand to 18 games. Child please.
Three games to care about. Giants/Cowboys - Bengals/Ravens - and Denver/KC.
Few other games have implications but these three are the ones to watch. First one obviously for all the NFC East marbles, essentially a playoff game. The second one is a playoff game for Cincy and the third is Neckbeard hoping to stick it to Tesus and the potential of Tebow hosting a playoff game vs the Steelers.

122-109 is my record. Off we go.

Green Bay +3.5 - Matt Flynn is no joke. NS.
St. Louis +10.5 - Last cry for Spags.
NYJ +2 - More painful if they win and another team fucks them.
Minny -1 - Back-up QB's are sort of important. Teams know this.
Buffalo +11 - Dumbass spread.
Carolina +8.5 - another dumbass spread
Philly -8.5 - Eagles 4-1 favs for Super Bowl 2012
Indy +3.5 - Believe it or not the Colts are better than Jax.
Houston +3 - They need some momo here....
Atlanta -12 - They do not want to see Saints in round one.
Baltimore -2 - Want division crown
Steelers off board I'd take steelers
Denver -3.5 - Neckbeard fails.
San Diego +3 -Final nail in the Al Davis coffin
Arizona -3 - home team

171 comments:

NFL's First Lesbian QB said...

First

Jugdish said...

good post

Jugdish said...

Navy Team Seal Six


cracked me up

Jugdish said...

RE: working out


the gym is WAY crowded the last few weeks of the year from people trying to get a jump start on their resolution, and the first 2-3 months of the year. Its awful right after work

Jugdish said...

around the march time frame spring break rolls around and people start givig up on their resolutions then you're back to the same people

Jugdish said...

rev shows up for tcs a week too late.

Beth said...

From this post I think we just had a brief glimpse into EP's mind and its ramblings.

I'm frightened.

NFL's First Lesbian QB said...

"aetheist"
"this year I want to focus on my self education."

How about learning how to spell?

NFL's First Lesbian QB said...

"I want to learn a new language"

You should start with English.

NFL's First Lesbian QB said...

AJA decent post.

Jugdish said...

"In closing, these stories have not been embellished, because - they need no embellishment. They are simply, horrifyingly, the story of my life as a short, stocky, slow witted bald man."

Jugdish said...

/Lp and george costanza

Lil Brother said...

nice post, freak

tem said...

good post. guaranteed survival to the next TCS round.

tem said...

beth, as if there were a bunch of lawyers around, seems fucked.

not sure how she makes it to the next round.

Beth said...

Maybe I'm pulling a Tebow and am relying on Jesus to help me pull out a last second victory.

El Padrino said...

i dont spell check aitch, just type away

El Padrino said...

"From this post I think we just had a brief glimpse into EP's mind and its ramblings.

I'm frightened."

suite

El Padrino said...

"good post. guaranteed survival to the next TCS round."

hopefully she'll drop some cleav on us today to move along or a buttcheek

El Padrino said...

"You should start with English."

if you read this in a boston accent it's hilarious

Blue said...

i don't read in accents

Blue said...

because i don't have to move my lips or read out loud

tem said...

i read in a british accent

tem said...

well my reader does

tem said...

damn kmart in columbus is shutting down. that was my go to store for video games. always $10 cheaper and always had stuff in stock.

i guess that may be why they are closing.

Keef said...

Good post

Keef said...

I'm going to learn another language and read five books on the economy to better understand it and get my real estate license.


By July?

(s)

Jugdish said...

i read aitch's posts in the boston accent

Blue said...

i don't read h's posts


/ep

El Padrino said...

i see them though

tem said...

UFC picks:

Overeem beats Lesnar

lucky punch. after the fight people are talking about how brock had it won, but lost.

Cerrone beats Diaz

I don't think I like the Diaz guys, so I'll pick against them. Plus Cerrone is a cowboy.

Jon Fitch beats Hendricks

I am not sure what Fitch should do. He is better than every welterweight but GSP and GSP destroyed him once or twice already. Fitch is just going to collect checks until he gets bored or GSP somehow loses or changes weight classes. Chances are good this fight goes to a decision though because I don't think Fitch likes finishing.


Gamburyan defeats Nunes

I'm not sure how, but he will.

Riddle beats Ramos

Ramos can't solve this Riddle...SWIDT? That is some headline skillz.

Escuredo beats Volkmann

Efrain is the guys first name. That's how I know he is tough.

Dong Hyun Kim beats Pierson

Gotta go with Dong /ep


Njokuani beats Castillo

No idea who these 2 are.

Assuncao beats Pearson

gotta go with ass /ep

Phan beats Hettes

Phan is related to that last comic standing guy somehow...well probably not. In any case he will win in funny fashion.

Vladimir Matyushenko beats Alexander Gustafsson


These guys both sound foreign.

tem said...

TCS is hard when most people have the wrong names.

I don't know who is who.

woe

El Padrino said...

I'm el pad

tem said...

i think that is enough work for today.

almost 96 minutes

tem said...

peas

The Rev said...

Happy New Year, everyone!

You too, EP.

tem said...

have happy new years

El Padrino said...

up yours rev

Blue said...

i'm blue, you'll figure me out

El Padrino said...

"NEW YORK (CNNMoney) -- When investors look at the change in McDonald's share price last year, they can think only one thing: "I'm lovin' it"

The fast food giant was the best performer on the Dow Jones industrial average (INDU) in 2011, up 31%. That was enough to beat out Warren Buffett's newest favorite, IBM (IBM, Fortune 500), No. 2 among the blue chip winners."



Beast.

Blue said...

so what you're saying is it's due for a market correction

El Padrino said...

oh no, it's going to continue to rise

a market correction would apply to a stock trading way above it's p/e ratio

Jugdish said...

remember the Mc DLT?

Blue said...

hot on one side

cold on the other

El Padrino said...

I remember the McLean

Jugdish said...

or burger buddies at burger king, back when their fries didn't suck as much

Blue said...

yeah, the new new fries aren't that great

El Padrino said...

bk is terrible

always has been

Jugdish said...

i worked at a bk for about a year when i was in high school

Jugdish said...

interwebs blackout?

Jugdish said...

your face is terrible

always has been

El Padrino said...

"o Google searches. No Facebook updates. No Tweets. No Amazon.com shopping. Nothing."

People would LOSE THEIR SHIT if this happens

Blue said...

what people?

El Padrino said...

our generation

Jugdish said...

SOPA

Jugdish said...

our generation



baby boomers?

/tp

Blue said...

tall people?

El Padrino said...

free pizza for lunch

El Padrino said...

mj engaged

El Padrino said...

id like to see that prenup

you think a cuban born model likes living in charlotte NC?

Jugdish said...

id like to see that prenup



no

/cmblue

Jugdish said...

apparently the houston station that normally carries the jim rome show will no longer do it next year...wonder why

El Padrino said...

cuz jim rome is abominable

Meiz said...

Rome sucks. His schtick is old and tired.

El Padrino said...

"An ancient language of Mexico is dying out. The last two people who are fluent in Ayapaneco are not speaking to each other. Manuel Segovia and Isidro Velazquezto both live in the village of Ayapa in southern Mexico, but don’t get along well."

hilarious

Blue said...

"apparently the houston station that normally carries the jim rome show will no longer do it next year...wonder why"

there's a whole ton of shifting of shows around here.

all the ESPN stuff is going to a different channel.

Rome is moving to some AM channel i've never heard of

Blue said...

the best morning guys in the area, got canned...

schlereth had to leave his show because that station is no longer the ESPN affiliate.

El Padrino said...

tawian version of sunday night game

Blue said...

fucking taiwan

El Padrino said...

KILL-ADELPHIA: ONCE AGAIN, CITY TOPS HOMICIDE LIST...

O:FP

El Padrino said...

going HERE tonight

El Padrino said...

hey keef good luck on the schnozz

Jugdish said...

yeah good luck keef!

El Padrino said...

cool vid

Jugdish said...

oops!

Blue said...

at about the 3:45 mark when the guy skis off the cliff...


holy moly

El Padrino said...

damn straight holy moly

El Padrino said...

katy perry is single

El Padrino said...

we'll talk to you next year this guy just said to me

eah ok.

die.

Jugdish said...

All of which makes Rose's style so refreshing. In an era where so many stars are more obsessed with their brand than the basketball matters, Rose is prioritizing winning above all else.



suite

Blue said...

that's what people say when nobody will give them endorsement deals

Blue said...

i've been about #winning


now i'm about building my own brand

Jugdish said...

he has endorsement deals

El Padrino said...

do you guys watch the ball drop in the west? what do you do at 12 ET?

you wait til 12 pt right?

Blue said...

i wait until 12 MT

Blue said...

and yes, the show is tape delayed.


they usually shoot off fireworks here at 10pm, and then again at midnight

El Padrino said...

cool

El Padrino said...

piece

Tyler said...

Macho Man 3-disc DVD came in the mail today. The rest of my afternoon has been destroyed.

Keef said...

Ouch

Keef said...

apparently the houston station that normally carries the jim rome show will no longer do it next year...wonder why


I read about that yesterday. Says that his shows ratings are dropping while every other Houston talk show's ratings are rising

Keef said...

Didn't have to break my nose. No black eyes. But still sore as shit. Waiting for moms to pick up my pain meds

Lil Brother said...

wall

Lil Brother said...

wall

Lil Brother said...

wall

Jugdish said...

wall

Jugdish said...

good night

Lil Brother said...

wall

Lil Brother said...

wall

Keef said...

Wall

Pass the Lysol said...

"I'm trying to conver all my email to my gmail account from the aol one."



uh, oh, just got a spam link email from your gmail account Meiz (ns)

Jugdish said...

lesner retired

Lil Brother said...

your face should retire

Lil Brother said...

wall

Keef said...

Wall

Lil Brother said...

wall

Jugdish said...

wall

Jugdish said...

dumb and dumber is still hilarity

Jugdish said...

don't worry, i know cpr!

Jugdish said...

fmjug's parents are throwing a party tonight. went over to help out earlier. did a lot of standing around and watching football. its best i just stay out of the way

Jugdish said...

haven't checked to see if this is true or not, but its on the internet so it has to be true:

DON'T DRIVE DRUNK. From 6pm-6am on New Year's Eve/Day AAA will take your drunk self AND your car home for FREE, member or not: 800-222-4357

Jugdish said...

yeah...he must work out


/mize

Jugdish said...

"May all your troubles last as long as your New Year's resolutions."


funny

Jugdish said...

i don't want three months of troubles though

Jugdish said...

for Lp's new year resolution


you're welcome!

Jugdish said...

im heading out for a run. its not a resolution run, just a run

Lil Brother said...

wall

Keef said...

Wall

Keef said...

I've been asleep most of today

Keef said...

Hydrocodone is the shit

tem said...

Good way to end the year for Keith.

Lil Brother said...

drinking $1 PBRs in some dive bar in Clearwater

Lil Brother said...

wall

Lil Brother said...

Irish car bombs were a bad choice

Lil Brother said...

somehow ended up at a Jamaican bar.... fuckin dog show

Lil Brother said...

happy new year, east coast lov

Keef said...

Wall

Keef said...

I'm not staying up til midnight

Lil Brother said...

wall

Lil Brother said...

fuckin wall

Lil Brother said...

just got in a fight with a cabbie

Lil Brother said...

told him I fuck up homeless people

Lil Brother said...

he took us 20 miles out of the way and tried to charge me for his fuck up

Keef said...

Wall

Pass the Lysol said...

"I'm not staying up til midnight"


I didn't quite get there, was out by 11:30 or so....that's still quite late for me (9 pets + insomnia + 60-70 hr work weeks = 70 y/o Kod)

Keef said...

Wall

NFL's First Lesbian QB said...

Wall

NFL's First Lesbian QB said...

Pats are off to a solid start.

NFL's First Lesbian QB said...

Wall

NFL's First Lesbian QB said...

Is everyone still hungover or something?

NFL's First Lesbian QB said...

New Year's Eve is overrated.

/Keef

Keef said...

Yep

NFL's First Lesbian QB said...

Wow. Great catch on that INT

NFL's First Lesbian QB said...

Wall

Keef said...

Wall

NFL's First Lesbian QB said...

He'll get killed for it tomorrow, but I liies Kubiak having his team go for two at the end of the game. However, after the penalty, they should have kicked the PAT instead.

NFL's First Lesbian QB said...

Sweet a wall and a block.

Jugdish said...

happy new year!

Lil Brother said...

wall

Lil Brother said...

wall

Keef said...

Wal

NFL's First Lesbian QB said...

Wall

NFL's First Lesbian QB said...

Wow Cruz has got some afterburners, huh?

tem said...

Kubiak won't get killed for it, the game was meaningless. Would have gotten killed if he went to OT, everyone would've said people could get hurt....

Meiz said...

I really think I like Bill Hall. What a decent dude to be actually responding to people on the twitter masheen. This is awkward.

Keef said...

How was fishing on ice?

Keef said...

Can't wait for a full day of college footyball tomorrow

Keef said...

Wow, cmk just won the ffb league we're in with that Robinson TD

Keef said...

Today sucked. Was throwing up blood all day. Woe

Keef said...

There's no way that Napoleon Dynamite cartoon lasts more than 4 episodes, right?

Lil Brother said...

"There's no way that Napoleon Dynamite cartoon lasts more than 4 episodes, right?"

Keith is anti-cartoonic

Meiz said...

I've been farting a LOT lately

Lil Brother said...

"I've been farting a LOT lately"


got crazy gas today.... bad mix of beers last night

Meiz said...

"How was fishing on ice?"

We only caught 3. Got out on the ice pretty late. 10-10:30AM. Had a good time, weather was good, time passed too quickly. The new auger is fucking awesome. It took us 3 or 4 guys to drill 9 holes with the old one. I had 9 holes punched in what the same amount of time 3 holes would take with the old one. Deluxe couldn't even keep up with scooping out the holes as I went.

Meiz said...

That auger is one of the best purchases I've ever made.

Keef said...

Keith is anti-cartoonic


So you think it looks good?

Meiz said...

Met the neighbor womenladies yesterday. They got us tip ups for our drinks when they went to the bar. I look forward to future shenanigans with them.

Meiz said...

They were hamcocked at 6PM, and didn't make it anywhere close to midnight. I call them tall, medium, and short. I like medium.

Keef said...

Congrats, LP

Meiz said...

"uh, oh, just got a spam link email from your gmail account Meiz (ns)"


FUCK. That's why I was changing. New password time

Keef said...

Bnew post

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino