Monday, December 12, 2011

3, 2, 1 Contact

Remember that show from when we were kids? Or in freak's case, before he was born. God, we're old. But anyway, that was a grate* show. I watched it all the time and learnt lots of science stuff from it. Then they had that little vignette called The Bloodhound Gang during each episode. Whenever there was trouble, they were there on the double. If you had the crime, they had the time. They were the bloodhound gang. They kind of creeped me out a lot because they always had really creepy old people and really creepy ghosts in the trees and stuff. But still, quality television programming. I miss being a kid.

You know what I hate? Well, lots of stuff. But in this case, I hate when people (ie, New Yorkers) say Santy Claus. That's just being lazy. You know, kind of like when someone says taste instead of tastes. Make that 1/1000000000th oz of extra effort and say Santa. Capisce?

I'd talk about football but fantasy is done for me and the goddamn Bengals are choking now. 60ish days until pitchers and catchers report.

I think we have a ghost in our house. Weird stuff happening in the last week or so. First, our garage door wasn't working right. One morning we were getting ready to leave and the door would only go up about a foot before stopping. So I had to disconnect the opener from the door and roll it up manually so we could get the cars out. The next day I got home from work early and went to fix the door and all of a sudden the opener worked again and I didn't do anything to it. Then, one of our terlets* broke. We have those push button water saving devices on them, and the one in our bathroom broke. I flushed it and I could hear the water running 10 minutes later so I went to push the button again and it was broken. Like, it wouldn't do anything. So I had to turn off the water at the toilet so it would stop running. So, this weekend I boat* all new innards for the toilets, get home, and all of a sudden the button works again. No rhyme or reason. Weird shit going on.

It's 11:45, I should go to sleep.

133 comments:

tem said...

My garage door did that shit...had to readjust he sensors....it'd work, then not work, then work, then not...finally just realinged the sensors and its all good.

tem said...

Toilet is probably haunted....ghost shits break toilets

Blue said...

my favorite part of the picture on the front of the WWL is the two guys in suits over to the right in the background. fist pumping

Blue said...

although I'm not really sure what the guy in the blue dress shirt (more towards the middle) is doing

NFL's First Lesbian QB said...

Keef needs and old priest and a young priest.

NFL's First Lesbian QB said...

Or maybe Keef can hire Tesus to perform the exorcism.

Blue said...

tesus only exorcising football demons

I miss his musk said...

wd40 the axles on the track wheels of the garage

Blue said...

name/pic jug?

NFL's First Lesbian QB said...

So exfemH sent me a one word text at 2 a.m. this morning. "Hi." Very random.

tem said...

she wants some H penis

Blue said...

sex

Blue said...

one word text, but it also had a picture attached that gfH deleted

NFL's First Lesbian QB said...

That was my thought initially, but she has a boyfriend.

tem said...

bad night with the boyfriend. wanted her H back.

Beth said...

"So exfemH sent me a one word text at 2 a.m. this morning. "Hi." Very random."

So now you're referring to me as "exfemH"?

s

Spaceman Spiff said...

upgraded my phone, resisted the iphone, got an SII skyrocket, this thing is a beast

Spaceman Spiff said...

korean zombie knocking out hominick with the quickness was suite

Spaceman Spiff said...

jon jones is a damn cyborg

Blue said...

killer morning

Spaceman Spiff said...

NIC talk:

fucking goblin, licked the plate again, hating on chiarello again

zakarian needs to destroy the dyke

surprised the producers didnt force the judges to have 1 chick in the finale, hey-o

Spaceman Spiff said...

it really is a damn shame there isn't a cowboys fan on here

Spaceman Spiff said...

completed christmas shopping, most dough ive spent total for gifts

Spaceman Spiff said...

TODD HALEY FIRED


SUCCESS!!!!!!!!!!

Spaceman Spiff said...

FYI, tebow was mic'd up for yesterday's game

Keef said...

"He's a good running back ... He does a good job for them," Urlacher told reporters when asked about Tebow.



mizelacher

Spaceman Spiff said...

pornstar naked tebowing

NFL's First Lesbian QB said...

A thing of beauty

Blue said...

""He's a good running back ... He does a good job for them," Urlacher told reporters when asked about Tebow."

tebow's response to that was great. He said something like "coming from a great player like Brian Urlacher, I take that as a huge compliment"

Blue said...

rumor around town is that McDAniels might get the KC job

Keef said...

A thing of beauty



Don't save that to your phone

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Hornets have apparently agreed to send Paul to the Los Angeles Clippers for Chris Kaman, Eric Bledsoe, Al-Farouq Aminu, and ownership of the Minnesota Timberwolves' first pick in the 2012 draft."

fuck the nba

Spaceman Spiff said...

hope blake griffin's knees explode and they fuck up that #1 pick

Keef said...

This is what would have happened if they shot him in the face

Blue said...

in the face

El Padrino said...

hahahahahahahahhahahaa

cowboys

Keef said...

rev's here


s

El Padrino said...

JPP! JPP!

El Padrino said...

nic

zakarian gonna crush that carpet licking cupcake baker

Keef said...

lots of rain today

El Padrino said...

fucking goblin

Jugdish said...

name/pic jug?



you can give me a name/pic, i don't feel like i won anything

Jugdish said...

it really is a damn shame there isn't a cowboys fan on here

^^^^^

Jugdish said...

aramis to brewers for three years...probably jugdrino

Keef said...

yeah, mize is ecstatic

Keef said...

Ryan Braun who?

Jugdish said...

im fine with him using steroids

/mize

Jugdish said...

im also fine with him missing the first 50 games

/mize

Jugdish said...

clippers hornets deal is reportedly dead


hilarity

Spaceman Spiff said...

NBA was asking for more, suite

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Sidney Crosby out indefinitely with concussion-like symptoms"

retire already

El Padrino said...

someone just sent out a goodbye email and now all the reply to all assholes are showing themselves

El Padrino said...

jason pierre paul = javon kearse

remember him
freak

El Padrino said...

TEBOW!

El Padrino said...

watch giants lose to skins now

El Padrino said...

what was that last throw by rex? he like soft tossed it, what down was that, give me the scenario

couldnt he have thrown it away?

El Padrino said...

ryan braun

should have known by his oversized eyeballs

El Padrino said...

why does goblin hate my boy and what does the elite hampton crowd know about an overcooked scallop

liars they were told to say that

Jugdish said...

As looking to hire todd haley

Spaceman Spiff said...

greg oden stays robbing the blazers

Spaceman Spiff said...

"what does the elite hampton crowd know about an overcooked scallop"

laughed at that part, fucking redonk

Spaceman Spiff said...

"what was that last throw by rex? he like soft tossed it, what down was that, give me the scenario
"

think 3rd and goal, right into moss' hands though, not on rex, moss pushed off on previous play too to erase TD catch

El Padrino said...

"right into moss' hands though, not on rex, moss pushed off on previous play too to erase TD catch"


yeah god forbis another redskin WR gets open

El Padrino said...

love how koo and symon put goblin in his place all the time though

have you ever had smoked cream motherfucker

mine was too salty

mine was perfect

letting him know he's no chef

NFL's First Lesbian QB said...

EP, Stollworth and Gaffney were both having a field day in that secondary. Spiff is right, that INT was absolutely on Moss. Hit him in the hands. Hr had a step on the defenderand a clean chance at it. He blew it.

El Padrino said...

yeah but the throw/play seemed awkward

some sort of 3 yeard crossing route just lobbed it, moss was hit quickly im not saying it was his fault just looked like a tarded up play

El Padrino said...

"Stollworth and Gaffney were both having a field day in that secondary"

well yeah they played the pats

Spaceman Spiff said...

"yeah god forbis another redskin WR gets open"

they did all game, moss happened to be targeted those plays

NFL's First Lesbian QB said...

I see another first round exit for the Pats this year. No xnij attempt here. They have made shitty QBs look like pro-bowlers all year. On the off chance they actually make the Superbowl™, Aaron Rodgers will throw for like 600 yards.

Spaceman Spiff said...

goblin's next contract should have a no plate licking clause

El Padrino said...

On the off chance they actually make the Superbowl™, Elijah Norman
Manning will throw for like 600 yards.


*ficced

El Padrino said...

Tebow gonna throw for 4-hunnit this week vs pats

El Padrino said...

Russian billionaire Mikhail Prokhorov -- the owner of the New Jersey Nets -- said Monday that he will run for president of Russia next year. "I am not afraid," he said.

El Padrino said...

Nets owner gonna get AK-47'd

tem said...

he will be president of russia and owner of the nets (el pad's favorite team)

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Dolphins have just fired Tony Sparano has their head coach"

Keef said...

There is a better chance that LP shows up at the next summit than there is of the Giants making the Super BowlTM this year

tem said...

is 0 > 0 now?

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Paralyzed from the hip down since she was 13, Monique van der Vorst was an accomplished paralympian cyclist. She won two silver medals in the handcycling road at the Beijing Paralympics.

Last year, she was in an accident and fell off her wheelchair. While recovering from the trauma, her feet started to tingle and miraculously she began to move them again. She spent months in the hospital and in the rehabilitation centre trying to regain the use of her legs."

holy shit

Keef said...

It's like The Ringer. But different

tem said...

i think there was a family guy episode like that.

the paralyzed guy got so insuffereable after being able to walk that the other people wanted him paralyzed again.

Keef said...

Stupid

Keef said...

As looking to hire todd haley




Hope not

Jugdish said...

the paralyzed guy got so insuffereable after being able to walk that the other people wanted him paralyzed again.


joe had a leg transplant so he could walk again, but the hospital had a policy that he had to leave in a wheelchair...hilarity

Blue said...

when the fuck did we get icecream

Jugdish said...

Last year, she was in an accident and fell off her wheelchair. While recovering from the trauma, her feet started to tingle and miraculously she began to move them again. She spent months in the hospital and in the rehabilitation centre trying to regain the use of her legs."



she falls down in a well and her eyes go crossed, then gets kicked in the head by a mule and they go back straight...i don't know.

Keef said...

Eddie is the better

Jugdish said...

chris paul retires


no

/nba

Keef said...

I went to cmk's work a few weeks ago and they had maps of the USA printed on their desks, and they wrote the names of the states in, like they were having a contest to see who could get the most right. Csil got 11. 11. 11/50. And she wrote in Mexico below AZ.


So for Xmas I'm buying her one of those children's wood puzzles of the USA.

Jugdish said...

11/50


damn


So for Xmas I'm buying her one of those children's wood puzzles of the USA.


hilarity, and sadly she needs it

NFL's First Lesbian QB said...

ROMANCE! courtesy of Keith S.

NFL's First Lesbian QB said...

I'm Floreda*

/Ralph Wiggum

Jugdish said...

its for csil, not cmk

Keef said...

ROMANCE! courtesy of Keith S.




I don't try to romance csil, really

Spaceman Spiff said...

"ROMANCE! courtesy of Keith S."

LOL nice reading

Keef said...

She put Utah where NM is. And the only state east of the Mississippi that she got right was Florida

Spaceman Spiff said...

carls jr. fried zucchini is awful

Spaceman Spiff said...

"The Chicago Bulls announced today the team has re-signed forward Brian Scalabrine."

Keef said...

48/48

NFL's First Lesbian QB said...

Oops! I definitely EP'ed that comment.

Jugdish said...

Stern nullifies Louisiana Purchase... Cites preserving competitive balance for Portugal as main reason.

Keef said...

That's not true

Jugdish said...

O:FNY

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Ryan Braun’s original test for performance-enhancing drugs as the playoffs were winding down in October was “insanely high, the highest ever for anyone who has ever taken a test, twice the level of the highest test ever taken,” said a source familiar with the developing case"

Jugdish said...

so?

/mize

tem said...

"She put Utah where NM is. And the only state east of the Mississippi that she got right was Florida"

she missed temhio???


WHAT THE FUCK?

tem said...

seriously though, 11 out of 50 is comical.

Jugdish said...

How did she miss NY?


/Lp

tem said...

"Ryan Braun’s original test for performance-enhancing drugs as the playoffs were winding down in October was “insanely high, the highest ever for anyone who has ever taken a test, twice the level of the highest test ever taken,” said a source familiar with the developing case"

this makes me think he is innocent. that's like saying someone had a blood alchohol level higher than anyone else has ever had. it just doesn't happen. the test must have been fucked up.

El Padrino said...

11 out of 50 is comical.

^^

Spaceman Spiff said...

'it just doesn't happen. the test must have been fucked up.'

"A subsequent, more comprehensive test revealed the testosterone was synthetic -- not produced by Braun's body."

El Padrino said...

face

Spaceman Spiff said...

brauns' team's defense is 'there was absolutely no intentional violation of the program'

he was set up

Spaceman Spiff said...

someone slipped testosterone into his drink

Blue said...

braun was eating that new steroid free frozen yogurt.

El Padrino said...

piece

Spaceman Spiff said...

shouldnt have gotten sprinkles on it

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Clippers have registered winning waiver bid for Chauncey Billups"

Meiz said...

I think I might have to quit my job. Shit's really fucked up now.

Keef said...

No you won't

Meiz said...

"No you won't"


What would lead you to believe that? I can make this kind of money at a gas station and not have half the stress of this shit.

Meiz said...

"completed christmas shopping, most dough ive spent total for gifts"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Keef said...

What would lead you to believe that



Because you've said numerous times in the last 6 months that either you're going to get fired or you're going to quit

Meiz said...

"Because you've said numerous times in the last 6 months that either you're going to get fired or you're going to quit"


No I haven't. I thought I was gonna get canned for like 2 days.

Meiz said...

But anywho, the person appointed to be our new supervisor thinks we spend literally hours of the day doing absolutely nothing.

It took a good amount restraint to not yell "FUCK YOU" when she said that.

Keef said...

spiff was racized against

Meiz said...

See ya later Casey McGehee

I miss his musk said...

grate 3-2-1 contact reference, Keith. used to love that show

I miss his musk said...

sorry to hear about new boss, mize. sounds like a douche

Meiz said...

Report:

Mize's 2009 Chevrolet Aveo rides crazy smooth with new tires

Jugdish said...

late lynch td advances me to round 2...suite

Meiz said...

I have more rational thoughts when I'm drinking than when I'm sober. I'm currently telling myself to take this beating at work, and gut it out. Fuck my life.

Keef said...

late lynch td advances me to round 2...suite




Late lynch TD allows LP to tie me in the keeper

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