Monday, October 31, 2011

Pants on the ground

Wedding week. I am excited. 2 days of work then off to ND. Not working is always swell. Check that, not working but still getting paid is swell.

So I don't understand why football teams waste freaking time outs early in the 2nd half. Like it is 2nd and 1 and a team is about to get a delay of game. They take a time out. 2nd and 6 isn't bad, just take the penalty and keep that timeout for later. Drives me nuts. Then at the end of the game they always wish they had more timeouts. That 5 yards early in the third is worth less than a timeout at the end of the game.

Weather reports for wedding day have all been 42 degrees and sunny. Today it switched to 32 and snowy. Fucking weather people suck.

Bachelor party was saturday. I held my own. Numerous shots and beers were drank. I remember very little of the OSU game. I remember nothing after the game ended except throwing up on the outside of the car. Didn't get any in the car. I am a champ.

Spiff, Blue and Tyler, work some weather magic and keep that storm away from ND. It is coming from the Pacific or something. Do a dance, or ask the CFO to stop it. Whatever it takes. Thanks and regards.

Case of the Mondays

No basketball before December 1st. This whole canceling 2 weeks at a time charade is retarded. Just cancel the season for crissakes. Fuck basketball. That comment right there I why mize hates white people.

Speaking of. Mize, your name/pic is Star Wars is for fags. Old name, new pic.

I guess today is a day where kids dress up and go door to door begging for candy. I guess I should buy some candy. Otherwise I gotta make like 12 pieces of sour licorice last all night. But I'm gonna be working anyway, so it would be funny to leave cmk home with no candy to hand out. Some friends axed if we were gonna take bgas. out trick or treating. I said no, she's 9 months old. I hate when people take their kids out when they can't even eat the candy. I know the candy is for you, numbskull. Go buy your own candy, douche.

Top Chef starts this week. It's something like, Top Chef: Texas. Does that mean it's all gonna be BBQ and shit? NS

Man, there are so many bad looking movies coming out soon. That puss in boots, the stupid Sandler movie, and this lame looking one with Stiller & Eddie Murphy. Horrible. I do want to see that J Edgar movie though.

Who Dey!

That's enough, I'm tired. I gotta get up early and go to the nose doc this morning.


Friday, October 28, 2011

I like when the crowd sings GBA along with the singer

TITANS -8.5 over Colts
Curtis Painter's hair is seriously annoying.

New Orleans -13.5 Over RAMS
Man, thought the Rams would be better than 0-7. No Bradford again I suspect. Wonder if the Saints saved any turds to drop on St Loo after shitting all over the Colts last Sunday night.

GIANTS -10 over Dolphins
Last time Moore faced Giants here in jersey he left not knowing the ABC's. Tuck. Osi. Pierre-Paul. Kiwanuka. Just stupid.

CAROLINA -3.5 over Vikes
If this game were in Minnesota I'd take them. It's not.

BALTIMORE -13 over Az
Ravens mad. OOOO boy they mad!

Jacksonville +9.5 over TEXANS
Points. That is all.

Skins +6 over BILLS
Something really disheartening about the resurgent Bills not being able to play this game in front of the fans that support them. So for that I'll take the Skins even though Moss and Hightower are out.

DENVER +3 over Detroit
Nobody puts Tebow in the home dog spot and gets away with it.

STEELERS +3 over New England
Sure Pats have won 6 of past 7 meetings and sure the Steelers struggled early on but it looks like the Steelers have found their Steeler way and seem pretty primed for a big win. They've been tuning up on other teams for a minute. Finally a real challenge.

SAN FRAN -8.5 over Browns
Just no way Cleveland travels out west and comes close to beating this niner team right now. I mean did you see any of the Seahawk/Browns game last week?

SEATTLE +3 over Bengals
Makes no sense to me either. None. Officially baffled.

Dallas +3.5 over EAGLES
Changed my mind 87 times on this pick. In the end I like the pass rush of the Cowboys.

KANSAS CITY +3.5 over Chargers
Seriously that loss to the Jets could really set a team back and we've seen it happen to San Diego before. On the other hand the Cheifs are alive and well again. Night game? In Arrowhead? Sign me up.

Thursday, October 27, 2011

Occupy: LOV

Except, if you're Zeke, Iam, Stiggy, Ebntx, Rev (aside from a few minutes after any philly team big win), Freak, weasy...and anyone else I forgot. I actually don't believe Zeke quit, I believe fmzeke set the parental controls on his computer so he can't get here anymore. Poor Zeke.

Mosquitos suck!

OOPS...TPS happened!

Wednesday, October 26, 2011

REO Speedwagon

I had resigned myself to the Andrew luck sweepstakes about 3/4ths of the way through the tebow miracle victory. I seriously was thinking " as long as the colts lose a game the broncos have a shot.". Then Tebow created the greatest comeback in NFL history. Oh well

I often find myself thinking I should have gone into sports talk radio for a living. I'm smarter than half the douchebags doing it now.

Hot receptionist has wore tight tight tight pants the last two days, she's got a great ass.

Tem gets married next week right?

H starts his new job next week?

Has jug set a date yet? Or are they taking it slow?

I haven't decided if this Facebook thing is catching on yet.

A buddy of mine just made partner at his firm, small local firm that does a lot of corporate law. His wife was bragging it up like crazy until he told her he had to come up with the money to buy his shares in the firm. They're maxed out debt wise so he might not get to be a partner if he can't come up with like 50k. Kind of funny I guess.

Fuck lawyers. /meiz

Yes. / Beth

Dude cheats on his wife a bunch, she looks like Ricki Lake so i kind of don't blame him.

Yes. /Beth

I like tacos

Monday, October 24, 2011

tem post tuesday

Let's start with some UFC picks. Guaranteed to be wrong or your money back. Career Record 3-159. Go to the "**************" if you don't want to read UFC stuff.

B.J. Penn vs. Nick Diaz
I can't count the times I have picked a Penn fight wrong. I don't really like Penn. He seems like a cool guy who is really good, but doesn't try. I guess that is too much like me. So much wasted potential...I could have been a star I tell you. I don't know at what, but I could have been a contender. Anyway, Diaz will roll Penn.

Cheick Kongo vs. Matt Mitrione
Kongo is one scary looking MFer. I mean that in a good way. Mitrione is one goofy looking fucker. If you just looked at pictures of these guys there is no way you would pick Mitrione to win. None. I think he does though. He will take Cheick down a lot and sit on him for 3 rounds. Boring decision win. Hopefully I am wrong and Kongo will Kongo punch Mitrione, but I don't see a Kongo punch or kick landing too solidly.

Hatsu Hioki vs. George Roop
Asian name versus Dork name. George Roop does not sound like someone who can beat anyone up. But he can. And he will. This fight would also be a good math contest. Asian name versus Dork name. If it were a math contest Hioki would win.

Mirko Filipovic vs. Roy Nelson
Cro Cop is old. Roy Nelson looks and fights exactly like someone named Roy Nelson should. Nelson will win this by KO. Then he will rub his fat belly and demand some Burger King. Cro Cop doesn't have the chin to win this. Nelson has an incredible chin. (I feel bad for Nelson...I basically just doomed him to a KO loss by picking him to win)

Jeff Curran vs. Scott Jorgensen
Jorgensen has some sort of funny skin disease thing going on. But he is a decent enough fighter. Curran is a decent fighter too. Neither of these guys will be UFC champs anytime soon / ever. But in any case this should be a fun fight. I'll go with Jorgensen to win.

Dennis Siver vs. Donald Cerrone
Cerrone is a fighting cowboy. That sounds like some sort of thing Beth would like. In anycase his fights are usually high paced and fun. Siver is the opposite. He looks a lot older than he is too. He also looks like Rory the country singer. Anyone Cerrone should win this. He is too athletic for Siver.

Bart Palaszewski vs. Tyson Griffin
Classic case of a UFC guy who just lost like 4 of his last 5 needing a win so the UFC puts him up against someone he should roll. Griffin needs the win, Palaszewski should get rolled. Hopefully he gets rolled bad enough that the UFC makes him get rid of either the 's' or the 'z' in his name. You don't need both back to back.

Brandon Vera vs. Eliot Marshall
This is similar to the Griffin fight. Vera is a UFC vet who lost like 3 of his last 4 and needs a win. Marshall looks scary, so maybe he is good and the UFC wants Vera out, but I think Vera will roll Marshall.

Daniel Downes vs. Ramsey Nijem
Francis Carmont vs. Chris Camozzi
Dustin Jacoby vs. Clifford Starks

I don't know these guys too well. I saw Camozzi once I think. Anyway I'll go with Downes, Carmont and Starks. Clifford is a funny name for a fighter.

OK so this is the section most people skipped to. Or they just stopped reading or they never even started reading. I bet more people don't read these posts than do. It is cool that Tosh and SG read this shit though. Actually they probably have an intern who combs the intrawebs for funny shit to steal. It is nice to be stolen from, it means you have nice things. Theft is a compliment.

So this past weekend we moved fmtem into the condo. It went pretty well. Not too much fighting. Actually only once when she was telling me I was going to trip over the cord on the 19" TV I was carrying. Never tell anyone about the cords when they are carrying TVs. I know there was a cord, I wasn't going to trip. I know what I am doing.

I hate trucks that have that sticker about not seeing me if I can't see their mirrors. There are plenty of spaces that I can't see their mirrors but they can see me. Bastards.


Remember when you were in elementary school and you had a spelting* test every Friday? You would get the list of words on Monday and you got to study them all week. One week in 5th grade we got our regular words on Monday, but we also got a bonus word that we got to study and if we got it right we got 5 extra points. This post title was our bonus word. I got 5 extra points.

There were some awful NATIONAL FOOTBALL LEAGUE games yesterday, led by the Cleveland/Seattle POS game. Remember when Seattle beat the Giants a few weeks ago? That was fun. But also on the poop toob, you had the Raiders/Cheifs*, Saints/Colts, Titans/Texans, Steelers/Cards, and Cowboys/Rams. But I'm sure tonight's Jags/Ravens game will make up for all those turds. (S)

The World Series has been pretty entertaining so far, IMO. I like that it's going back and forth like this. I saw something that said the Rangers have gone like 45 games, counting regular season and playoffs, without losing 2 in a row. Crazy. I would like to see Texas win game 5, StL win game 6, and then Texas win game 7. Of course, that means it won't happen.

What does everyone want for Xmas? (it's October, bro. /LP) I told cmk I want NCAA Football '12 for Xbox and some brown dress shoes and some clothes with the new ASU logo.

I'm watching a Planet Earth show on Animal Planet right now. It's one that is all about ocean life. It is pretty suite. Sea life is pretty amazing. So much crazy stuff down there. This episode doesn't say anything about sponges living in pineapples, though. That must be on the next episode.

I hate that Swiffer commercial with the people dressed up as dust & mud and they jump up and cling to the mop. It's so goddman annoying.

LP busted his nose. Rough touch football is no joke. Maybe he should switch to just going to the park and playing 500 or something.

Don't you hate when someone you know buys something then they give your name & info to the salesperson so they can call you and then that person gets a referral credit or something? I hate that shit. Then you have to deal with sales calls and tell them to stop calling you like 10 times. So annoying. Had that shit happen this weekend. Someone I know sent me a text saying they are buying some meat from a farm now or some shit, and that they gave my info to them and to let them know what I think. What I think, huh? I think you shouldn't be giving out my phone number to people I don't know. That's what I think.

Friday, October 21, 2011

W-L 48-37

Come at me bro.

I like whipped butter.

BROWNS -3.0 over Seattle
Still mad Seahawks beat Giants. Tem is too.

DETROIT -3.5 over Atlanta
Lions need the rebound win here. To prove they have the make-up of a good team. In years past many teams started 6-0 or 5-0 and totally fell apart. A loss here would raise those questions.

TITANS -3.0 over Texans
Off the bye the Titans are home and play a similar style of the opponent the Texans lost too last week. They really need to get CJ going early and if that happens I don't Houston has a chance. Why haven't the Texans ever bothered to get a decent #2 receiver behind Andre Johnson?

Denver +2 over MIAMI
After watching the Fins on Monday Night last week I cannot believe they are favored on a day where basically it's a homecoming for Tim Tebow. I don't even think the Dolphins can hang with the Broncos. I see a lopsided score I see a parade for Tebow in the streets of LODO. I also know now, beyond a shadow of a doubt, that Andrew Luck is a Miami Dolphin.

Chargers -2 over JETS
Man if the Jets played any other team Monday Night they'd get embarrassed. That's how bad they played. The offense is futile. The defense is no longer elite. And the coach is a hot air balloon.

Chicago -1 over Tampa
Didn't Tampa go to London once before? Not fair. Anyway the Bears choosing to stay in Chicago for the week as opposed to practicing in London probably won't have an effect on their performance so I'll roll with Da Bears.

Skins +2.5 over PANTHERS
Washington's D is ferocious. Just realized that. Beck won't lose the game the way Grossman did last week.

OAKLAND -4 over Chiefs
Still feeding off the tragedy and proving to the league they are in this thing this year by trading for Palmer the Raiders should trounce KC. The confidence level of this team right now is off the charts.

Steelers -3.5 over ARIZONA
Arizona plays well at home for like 2 and a half quarters then falls apart. And Kevin Kolb is trash.

St. Louis +12 over DALLAS
I know the Rams stink but the Dallas secondary is awful. Bradtard should be able to move the Rams up and down the field. Here is to hoping they cash in on red zone opportunties.

Green Bay -9.0 over MINNY
Great week to start Ponder coach Frazier. Good idea. Torment the kid early on so he knows how to handle defeat. I hope Ponder likes carpet.

SAINTS -14 over Indy
I mean this would be flexed if NBC could do that this early. I saw the promo for this game last night. DREW BREES AND HIGH POWERED OFFENSE OF THE SAINTS vs colts.

Baltimore -7.5 over JAX


Thursday, October 20, 2011


So NBA stars are planning a 6 game exhibition world tour. They can't be out of the spotlight for too long now can they? They should be careful with that though, the Drago Creed fight was supposed to be an exhibition too. We all know what happened there.

I tyed a lot of other shit, but when I hit post it got this is it.

Wednesday, October 19, 2011

Meiz eye for the straight guy

"Black people from other countries aren't really black people" Hi Daniel Tosh.

I'm over the whole Breast Cancer awareness thing. Do we really have to wear pink and have pink on everything to remind us about breast cancer? It's not like there's a lot of people who forget about it. Granted it's the worst kind of cancer, right up there with prostate and testicular, but you don't see testicular cancer awareness month. Fucking woman* always needing attention. If we didn't have a pink month, i'm pretty sure everyone would still be just as aware. I blame clothing companies. "we have all this pink shit we can't sell, I know, we'll create a whole month where everyone wears pink"

Carson Palmer's corpse traded to the Raiders. I guess he's better than Terelle Pryor. They've both spent a lot of time in Ohio, so maybe they know some of the same people.

I hope the BCS computers explode this week. All this conference re-alignment shit is crazy. Boise State would be dumb to move to the big east. Granted the conference they're in isn't awesome, but the big east is becoming the eastern version of the WAC, let alone the mountain west. The SEC should invite them for a trial year, just to show them what big-time football is about.

Boat* some blue moon pumpkin harvest. By far my favorite of the fall/seasonal beers. If you like beer and you're not gay, try it. (yes, i'm looking at you meiz, fucking attention whore).

Eat, Drink, and be Merry....i'm looking for a new yob, but probably not looking very hard.

Tuesday, October 18, 2011

Tuesday Oct 18th

So I don't think I will ever understand why on the interstate some people drive 55mph in the fast lane, even though the speed limit is 65mph, but then when they get into a downtown construction area and the speed limit drops to 45mph they either keep on trucking at 55mph or they speed up. WFT? I basically just want to swerve right into their way when I see them coming.

Sounds like the pool in South Carolina is big. First the QB gets thrown into it and then they lose their RB in it. They need some life guards down there.

Good weekend for Tem's $$$ fantasy team. I won the sidebet and my team scored the most points. Time for my team to start winning. I hope. I am hoping to swing some sort of Eli Manning trade. He actually is putting up good fantasy numbers, so I want to sell him at his high point. He clearly is terrible and this is just dumb luck.

Big East doubled their exit fee. Good work. Made me think of Kod's marriage idea. He should add something in about exit fees.

I think it was interesting that the only thing sports radio talked about yesterday was the Harbaugh-Schwartz thing even though Dan Wheldon died. I mean, I get the NFL shows talking about the games, but the basic talk radio was all Harbaugh-Schwartz and nothing about Wheldon. I guess it is hard to talk about.

Work here is fun. New guy A is working on some deal and newer guy B is basically sticking his nose in it and either saving it or fucking it up. It is too early to tell which he is doing. Of course A thinks B is fucking it up and B thinks he is saving it, but only time will tell who is right. Both guys are pissed so it is kind of funny to watch.

OK. I have a meeting or something else to do. I was going to do UFC picks here, but I don't think the fights are until the 29th so no doubt someone will bail on the fight card between now and then.

Monday, October 17, 2011

Old School

I love that movie. It's on TBS right now. I've probably seen it 50 times. It always makes me laugh for hours. This is like one of the only Vince Vaughn movies where he isn't a fucking pussy. Strangely enough, he's a lot funnier in movies when he isn't being a fucking pussy. Weird how that works. I just noticed tonight that the guy who plays Mitch's boss is the old bald guy from Lost. I should pay more attention I guess.

Sad story in Indy car racing yesterday. Spiff linkt* a video of a redonk crash and then like an hour later they announced that one of the drivers died. I don't know who he was because I don't watch it, but it's still sad. He won the Indy 500 twice, and he was gonna replace Dan Patrick in the Go Daddy car next year. Sucks that the only time I erve* talk about Indy car racing is when someone dies.

The LIONS are no longer undefeated. I told you they were overrated. /kod

The first BCS rankings are out. SEC! SEC! SEC! SEC!

Clowns are fucking creepy. I mean, am I right? Man, those fuckers freak me out.

So this is probably weird and I'll get shit for it, but IDGAF. This is the trust tree. And it's not like I'm ever going to meet any of you fags or anything. When I was a kid, I used to have nightmares all the time about dying. Like, at least once a week. I even had to see the school shrink when I was in 3rd grade because it got really bad. But now every once in a while I have a freaked out moment where I don't feel like I'm really here. Here meaning alive, not here like on LOV. For instance, I'll be laying in bed trying to go to sleep and my mind will wander, thinking about dying and what happens next and all that. Then I kind of get freaked out thinking about not being here. Then my mind goes to a place where it feels like I'm not really here and that this is all a dream. Totally freaks me the fuck out. Usually this leads to me sitting up and looking around and trying to get myself out of that mode. Fucked up, huh? Now I'm the crazy one I guess.

Friday, October 14, 2011

Overall 43-29

ATLANTA -4 over Carolina

Pretty soon the media will turn on Cam Newton because at the end of the day it's about wins and losses. Great Newton can ball but what about the rest of the team.

Indy +7 over CINCY
Gonna pick them every week til they win. Chances are they cover, been competitive the past 4 tries.

DETROIT -4.5 over 49ers
6-0. Hot damn.

St. Louis +15 over GREEN BAY
Spags is too good of a coach to have two weeks off and not have a wrench to throw at the Green Bay machine. You'll tell me that he doesn't have the players and that's a fair point. But I think the Rams can throw it a bit on the Packers and will stay within two TD's.

NYG -3.5 over Buffalo
Fuck the Giants.

STEELERS -12 over Jacksonville
Pittsburgh battered a pretty good Titan team a week ago. Jack Del Rio will be gone by Week 10.

Philly -1 over SKINS
Iggles start a little winning streak starting now. Don't worry, O:FP will re-appear at some point.

OAKLAND -6.5 over Browns
Just Win Baby.

Texans +7.5 over RAVENS
This line is dumb. Foster gonna punish the Ravens. Flacco is regressing might I add.

NEW ENGLAND -7 over Cowboys
Boys had two weeks to stew over that then have to go up to Bahstan to play the Pats. Fuck yeah! Works for me.

TAMPA BAY +4 over New Orleans
Lately, always a close game. And Raheem Morris looks like the type of cat that wouldn't stand for two poor performances in a row.

BEARS -3 over Vikes
Chicago rebounds big here. Urlacher was missing last Monday night. He'll be all over Sunday night. No one told me Faith Hill ain't wearing that skirt anymore. Mad pissed yo.

Miami +7 over NYJ
Fins beat Jets often. I don't care who throws for Miami the Jets look like dogshit right now.

Thursday, October 13, 2011

Fire Roenicke now!

He should go back to hockey....s.

Wedding planning update: We were going to doour engagement pictures last weekend, but it rained all day Sunday (which we really needed). So last weekend we started registering for gifts. That was my idea, so I scored some points there. We are not done, but my part is done. She still has to go on line and tweek some stuff. So now we are doing engagement pictures this weekend. Two good things with that...1. she suggested I bring a flask. B. we will get done just before the Bears game starts Sunday night, and III. we'll be watching the game down in a bar on the beach in Galveston.

Restaurant question: When you go to restaurants on a regular basis, do you have one particular meal that is your go to meal 99% of the time, or do you try different things all the time. I have my go to meals, and when I go to restaurants I haven't been to before, I typically order things that are like my go to meals at other places. I'm a picky eater.

House update: This may not be an update, but the original story. I want to sell my house, and the sooner the better. fmjug would like to have something ready to move into by the time we get married, and not this house. The first issue I need to take care of is foundation repair thanks to this drought we've been having. I have a crack on one of the interior walls of my house. When I first saw that I thought it was going to cost several thousand dollars to repair. Fortunately the crack was found early, and I'll get it done next month for $1600.

I got the Sunday ticket for free this year. I cancelled my Direct TV service at the end of August. When I cancelled they offered me the Sunday Ticket for half off. I turned that down and cancelled. A few weeks later I signed back up and they gave it to me for free, along with HBO and Showtime for free for three months...suite!

That's all I have...Go!

Wednesday, October 12, 2011

I swear

by the moon and the stars in the sky

I always oversleep on wednesday mornings, what's the deal with that?

I've been imbibing a lot of Sam Adams Octoberfest lately.

My next option is blue moon's pumpkin something

Tigers won...valverde another fun inning

I'm going to lunch at some swanky bistro. you know it sucks if it's called a bistro

The cardinals are going to sweep the brewers

A cardinals/rangers world series would be the awesome of opposite.

So how about that obama jobs act, huh?

I've always wondered what happened to Happy Gilmore after he bought his grandma's house back

i'm not going to see that movie "drive" out of protest because of all the women in the office saying how beautiful the notebook dude is.

that guy is a douchebag

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

Tough weekend

Tough fantasy weekend for me. My UFC picks had their usual accuracy, so that was a good start.

My suicide picks both lost, fuck you Giants. And my money FNFL team lost because the Bucs couldn't do shit against the SF defense. Also, got real drunk Sunday and then had to struggle through monday. Although monday wasn't as bad as I thought it could be. In any case, I blame Eli for it all. Fucking Eli.

Arizona axed Stoops. Not sure what they axed him.

Big East to consider adding 6 football schools...probably a good idea, I don't think the remaining 6 football schools are thrilled with being in a 6 team conference.

Detroit football looks good. Baseball not so much.

NBA should just fold.

Work is busy. Fucking TPS.

This post sucks because of the Giants.

Monday, October 10, 2011

There's a new #1!

Another weekend in the books, kids. They go faster and faster. It sucks. Woe. I guess on the bright side, I don't have to drive a minivan.

Kim K's time at #1 has ended for me. It was a good run. It ended tonight while cmk was watching that show about KK's wedding. Goddamn, I cannot stand her at all. And her family is even worst*. But just listening to her talk, it annoys the piss out of me. She might have even dropped out of the top ten, she's that bad. So, goodbye, Kim. It was nice knowing you. BTW, the new #1 is Minka Kelly. I told this to cmk and she responded "yeah, she's pretty. But I hate watching her act". At least she didn't say anything about her breathing.

So one of my buddies has a bunch of my friends over at his house every Sunday for footyball*. I hadn't made it over there yet because I always have shit to do around the house. But yesterday I went over because I feel bad that I haven't made it over yet. It's just weird now, because we're all in our mid 30s now, some of us are married, and some will never get married. But I go over and they're all just talking about how fucked up they got on Friday night and Saturday night. It really wouldn't be strange, except that it's basically the same thing every weekend. I used to feel bad because I hung out with them all the time, but then I got married and I don't hang out that much with them anymore. But then I realized that I don't hang out because I don't want to go out and get fucked up every weekend. I don't know what this has to do with anything, but it was on my mind. And now it's on the Internet.

So, footyball. The NEW YORK FOOTBALL GIANTS pretty much fucked up everyone's suicide league. We had like 22 people left in my $ one that I lost last week. I think like 15 people picked the GGGGGGGGGGGGG-MEN. Cmk was still in it, but she picked Tennessee because she figured a lot of people would pick NY. So that didn't work out so well. Fucking Pittsburgh.

Me & cmk started watching Modern Family this weekend because we had nerve* seen it before. Man, that shit is fun-knee. Phil is my favorite. I want to be as cool as him when I grow up. The fat gay guy is hilarity too. But I don't want to be like him.

We found out this week that cmk's grandma has lung cancer. Sucks. It breaks cmk's heart because her grandma has had heart problems and at least 1 heart attack. And she survived all of that, but the thing that is going to kill her is going to be a painful struggle. Rough year for grandparents and lung cancer.

Friday, October 07, 2011

Overall 35-25

BILLS +2.5 over Eagles
I struggled with this one but another week of mayhem surrounding this team before they eventually snap off 4 in a row is too much for me to pass on. Bills 5 wide out formation is too much for the non existent linebackers of the Eagles.

INDY +2.5 over Kansas City
Colts have been competitive against better teams and are still searching for a win. Freeny and Mathis will get to Cassel early and often.

MINNY +2.5 over Arizona
I guess I love home dogs this week.

NYG -10 over Seattle
Look I don't like the line myself and the Giants have a tendency of playing down to competition but we're talking about Tavaris Jackson here. On the road, miles and miles away from the security blanket of Qwest Field. Even if Tuck doesn't play the Giants are still capable of rushing the qb every drop back.

Titans -3.5 over STEELERS
This defense clearly is struggling right now and I pointed out as did most of the scribes that cover this sport that the roster was old or getting old. Especially on the defensive side of the ball. What I failed to remember too is the terrible offensive line the Steelers employ which they have seemingly gotten worse and worse. Despite success, mostly due to the mobility of Big Ben, it was a flaw that the defense covered up. Now that they have to throw more and the defense isn't stopping everyone it's a glaring flaw. Almost cost them the QB, he'll play but will be banged up. Chris Johnson has improved week in week out. I think he could be ready for one of those buck fifty/ seventy five / 2 TD's games.

CAROLINA +6 over New Orleans
Not sure you want to spot Newton a TD just yet. This dude is playing ball right now. I'm SAS. He accounts for 80% of that offense and I think the team has like 8 TD's, 4 rush 4 throws all from Newton. Warren Moon knows.

Bengals +2.5 over JAGS
Cincy better then I thought. Dalton is not ready yet but he's light years ahead of Gabbert. And there is no home field advantage here. Jacksonville is a shitty spot for a NFL team.

Oakland +6 over TEXANS
Oakland might be better than the Steelers right now so let's slow down with the Texans as TD favorites. Houston still has alot to prove. Both teams can run it and both teams can play defense. Closer than the experts think.

SAN FRAN -3 over Tampa
Lost in all this Harbaugh Niners on the rise story is the very good QB play from Alex Smith. Bout 6 years into it maybe he figured it out. We'll see. I saw nothing in Tampa Monday night that made me think they'll go out west and win this game.

DENVER +4 over San Diego
Like I said I guess I'm into the home dogs this week. I have zero confidence in this pick because of the suddenly rude Bronco fans. One imcompletion and they boo Orton out of the stadium is a likely scenario but I'm an optimist.

Jets +9.5 over PATS
Putting aside the sloppy terrible non-competetive game the Jets played last Sunday night all but one game during the Rex era did the Jet-Pats game not be decided by a TD or less.

Green Bay -5.5 over FALCONS
One home dog I don't like. Why should I believe the Packers won't do the same thing they did last year in the playoffs?

DETROIT -6 over Chicago
First meaningful game in that new building. This may sound nuts but it will be like that Monday night post Katrina game in the Superdome. That's how loud I expect it, that's how amped the Lions will be and that's how they'll win. Minus all his rowdy friends of course.

Thursday, October 06, 2011

Fillies Phailed to Phinish

That was a text I got from a friend last night when I was out...always good news. Rev's Phacebook posts haven't been showing up on my feed, so I guess me blocking all but "the important posts" worked. The big guy has to be sweating right now. Mize too.

fmjug and I are doing engagement pictures this Sunday. She has scouted three different locations between here and Galveston (about 25 miles south) that she wants to take pictures. We'll start around 1 and finish around 7. I plan on taking a flask. At some point I may ask the photographer if she can exchange her camera for a pistol and shoot me with that.

Dolphins take the lead in the Andrew Luck swuipestakes*.

TO says he will play within the next month. I thought the Titans seemed like a good situation for him. Where did Ochocinco end up? S

I'm off tomorrow, thanks Christopher Columbus! I am working the next two Mondays however.

That's all I got this morning...TPS calls. GO!

Wednesday, October 05, 2011


There's a new iphone coming out...wake me up when they release one that's 4G capable

This chick who got released after murdering her roommate in Italy seems sketchy...good thing she had italian johnny cochran on her side

The eagles are just plain awful

The broncos are worst*

Who'd have guessed that AJ Burnett would be the yankees ace in the postseason. Now it's time to shaving cream pie him in the face

Who'd have guessed that the NBA labor negotiations would fall apart? Maybe all the guys signing contracts to play overseas was a hint.

mize has already searched the internet for 17 hours looking for the tupac sextape

it finally happened, lindsay lohan became to crackwhore for me

the rangers won proving that karma isn't a bitch unless you live in Boston

Arrested development is coming back with 13 more episodes....American pie is making another movie. Good to see that hollywood has ran out of so many ideas that they're recycling after less than 10 years...what's next, Beavis and Butthead return to MTV?

Kim Kardashian bought a new ferrari. considering her husband is too tall to sit in one, that's a wise choice. I'm guessing it ends up looking something like this

ski season is almost upon us here in the land of milk and honey, jug should go to Steamboat this year.

went to this last weekend. I try and go every year, and every year i'm disappointed because you stand in line usually for shitty beer an ounce at a time...but it's tradition. It's kind of a big deal

Last but not least, I got a prelim "OK" on summit 3.0 if it's in Nashville. cue the "it's october bro" from EP.

Tuesday, October 04, 2011

The penis mightier

Those SNL Celeb Jeopardy skits crack me up everytime.

Hank Williams got pulled from the MNF theme song because he compared Obama to Hitler in an obscure way. It is funny, he said Obama and the speaker of the house playing golf together would be like Hitler and some Israeli guy playing golf together. Pretty much saying it would be like two enemies playing together, but the media took off with it and said Williams says Obama is Hitler. Fucking media. Need a story? Make one up. I fucking hate the media more than Keith hates Philly.

I'd do a media rant here, but everyone knows the media is full of shit. Ask anyone, they'll say the media blows everything out of proportion. Nobody likes the media. I'd rather have lunch with 100 lawyers than 2 reporters. Me and a reporter having lunch together would be like Hitler eating lunch with Jon Stewart. (Note: I am assuming that Jon Stewart has proclaimed the title of Top Jew.)

UFC Picks

Gray Maynard vs. Frankie Edgar

I'll give it to Maynard. I don't think he has ever lost to Edgar. It should be a grate* fight. Third time could be a charm for Edgar, but I say NO. NO win for you Edgar. Maynard is your new champ.

Jose Aldo vs. Kenny Florian

I always pick Florian to score a win in title bouts and he never does. He shrinks from the challenge. Or he just isn't good enough. Well no more. Florian will probably outweigh Aldo by 15 pounds when this fight starts and he is finally going to break through and become a champ. Then his speech after the fight will be him and his big nose crying because he has worked so hard for it. Although Florian is from Boston or something like that so O:FB could be in full force here. I'm picking Florian anyway.

Chael Sonnen vs. Brian Stann

Sonnen is coming back from roids or testosterone stuff or whatever. Stann is an ex Marine who everyone loves. Sonnen has about 100 times more experience than Stann, but who knows how Sonnen will do now that he is probably not taking the testosterone stuff. I think Sonnen's experience carries him to a win here. He'll take Stann down and ride his face for three rounds.

Melvin Guillard vs. Joe Lauzon

Guillard wins because he is black.

Nam Phan vs. Leonard Garcia

Garcia wins because his name has more than 2 total syllables.

Jeremy Stephens vs. Anthony Pettis

Pettis wins because he sounds like he might be black.

Demian Maia vs. Jorge Santiago

Maia wins because he always looks mad and the other guy has a name that really would be best suited for a great catcher. Like the offspring of any Santiago brother and Jorge Posada.

Stipe Miocic vs. Joey Beltran

Beltran wins because the other guy sounds like he should be in REM.

Steve Cantwell vs. Mike Massenzio

I always pick against Cantwell because his name sounds like can't win. This time I will pick him because he can't lose well. Haha...DYSWIDT?

Aaron Simpson vs. Eric Schafer

Schafer is Eric the Red. Aaron spells his name properly if he is a boy. Still I'll pick the viking guy.

Tiequan Zhang vs. Darren Elkins

Zhang because his name is very funny looking.

Monday, October 03, 2011

Phuck Filly

Oh man, I fucking hate Philly so much. Like, really fucking hate them. Everything about Philly. Philly didn't just supplant Boston as the #1 most hated city for me. It flew right past Boston at Mach 3 and now it's Philly #1 at a 150 on a 1-10 scale, Boston is #2 at a 9 and NYC is third at a 7. Fucking Philly. What a shit dump of a place with fucked up sports teams that I hope all rot in hell. Oh how I hate Philly, let me count the ways...

Fucking horrible sports team names. Eagles? Really? Was Wildcats or Cougars already taken? How original. Phillies? Another work of originality. I'm going to start a team in Gilbert and call them the Gillies. Flyers? Fits perfectly with the hockey theme. Except it doesn't. 76ers? Oh that's cute. Herbie* Hancock would be so honored.

Fuck Alex Henery. First off, your last name is so douchey. Is that fucking French or something. If so, let me try to speak in your language, Alex. Um, oui oui, go fuck yourself, Henery. French tard.

I hope Vick and all the rest of the douchedick Eagles lose all of their remaining games and then they all get syphilis and hepatitis and then a weird rash on their a-holes that never goes away.

Next, I hope that the Phillies lose in the last inning of game 5 against the Cards. And I hope that they have riots in the streets of Philly and that they crack the remaining party of the Liberty Bell and that they rip up the Rocky statue and drag it through a field of horse shit because that's what it deserves.

I hope Roy Halladay needs Tommy John. I hope Cliff Lee gets skin cancer. I don't wish bad cancer on him because that would be really mean. But skin cancer would be good, just enough to make him go "oh shit". I hope Victorino & Pence have gay sex with each other for the rest of their lives. I hope Jayson Werth keeps fucking Chase Utley's wife for the rest of his life. But I hope he gives her VD and Chase doesn't know about it so he gets it too. That would be awesome. I hope Cole Hamels doesn't change at all, because he's really effeminate.

I don't wish anything bad upon rev, though. He's just like a big, insufferable teddy manatee. And I don't wish anything bad upon cmrev either. She has to put up with rev every day.

You might be wondering what brought on this rant, like I needed a reason. But I had Philly in my $ suicide pool this week. And Alex Henery cant make a goddamn field goal. So yeah, that was the straw that broke the camel's back. Which is weird that it took a straw because rev is also on the camel's back.

So I'm sitting here in bed writing this and cmk axes what I'm writing about. I tell her it's an I hate Philly post. She axes why I hate Philly so much. I told her I hate everything about Philly and that their fans are insufferable pricks. She says oh. I say "do you know what insufferable means"? She says "yeah, they can't breathe". I swear to God. I started laughing then I told her what it was and we bolth laughed for a few minutes.

Saturday, October 01, 2011


So this came in the mail last night. And yes, that is a picture of a cat checking it out. If you think I'm writing twelve separate thank you cards, you're out of your mind, so consider this your thank you. All joking aside, thanks guys, I was pretty shocked when I read who it was from. And the gift IS pretty grate*.

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"

"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem

"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug

"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino

"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H

"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino

"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino