Monday, August 29, 2011

Runny diary

It's that time. MTV music awards.

9:45 I don't know who this dude/chick is on the opening. I thought it was an Andrew Dice Clay impersonator, with the slicked back black hair and smoking a cig.

9:48 holy crap, I guess it was Lady Gaga. I wouldn't have guessed that in a hundred years. Now she's singing some dumb song. She's so disgusting to look at.

9:55 wow, that was long. Now some black guy is on stage. I don't know who he is either. He is megaunfunny. He's complaining about not being axed to host the show. Hey bro, it's because you're not funny or entertaining. Take your YSL belt buckle and get the F off the stage.

10:00 first presenters are Jonah Hill and Nikki Minaj. Jonah Hill weighs a buckofive. Nikki Minaj is wearing some ridiculous shit. Cmk just said "really? She's so stupid. What the fuck is she wearing?" They are awarding best pop video. Wow, Britney won. NS. I didnt know she was still "singing". In celebration, K-Fed just had another kid.

10:06 Rob Dydrek has a "new" show coming out called Ridiculousness. It's also known by its original name, Tosh.0.

10:09 Kanye & Hova on stage performing right now. Mize would rub one out to this. There were 10 bleeps in the first minute.

10:13 Shaun White & Miley are presenting for best rock video. Foo Fighters win. Good for them. Score one for the old people. TP is happy. He loves him some Foo.

10:17 Jack Black, Will Ferrell, & Seth Rogan on stage right now to present best Hip hop video. Nikki Minaj wins, still wearing her riDQulous outfit. Cmk: "she looks like such a fool. She thinks she's a black Lady Gaga."

10:20 I think the funniest thing so far is that there is a band on stage every time it goes to commercial. The lead singer is a chick and she's sitting in a chair with a cast boot thing on her foot. It's awkward.

10:22 can't wait for Beavis & Butthead to come back. NS

10:25 Kanye & Katy Perry win best collaboration. Wow, she's hot, but KP is really annoying when she talks.

10:27 I don't think I would fuck with Rick Ross.

10:29 Fucking Pitbull is in every hit out there. If you're a musician, get Pitbull in your song and it'll go #1.

10:30 Adele performing now. I'm not gonna lie. I like her music. Sue me. She's like a mellower version of Alanis Morissette.

10:39 Kim K presenting best male video. And the winner is......THE BIEBS!!!! He doesn't want to thank only God, but Jesus too. He looks like Ellen Degeneres with his haircut now. Fucking homo. He'll come out gay one day.

10:43 I can't stand Chris Brown, but boy can dance.

10:45 Gaga is doing some tribute to Britney now. Britney is still pretty hot.

10:49 speaking of hot, Beyonce is on stage performing now. She's still top 5 for me, after all these years.

10:53 goddamn, after she finished her song, she opened the jacket she was wearing and showed a baby bump. Buzzkill. But maybe her kid and H's kid can go to school together,

10:55 best new artist goes to some black kid I've never heard of. I was hoping Foster the People would win.

11:01 some band called Young the Giant on stage now. Nerve heard of them but they sound alright. Dude is holding 2 microphones, don't know what that's about. They're from Irvine though, so Spiff probably knows them

11:10 best female video goes to Gaga. I didn't know dudes could win female awards. Thanks Obama!

11:17 Tony Bennett on stage talking about Amy Winehouse. I think he's 104 years old. But he looks the same as he looked 20 years ago. Old.

11:21 Katie Holmes' skeleton is on stage to present video of the year. Wow, remember when she was cute? Fucking Scientology. Video of the year goes to... Katy Perry. Man, she's such a weird chick. Super cute, though. But fucking weird as shit. She has a box on her head for crissakes.

11:25 Lil Wayne closes out the show. His new album drops today. I'll probably goes out and download it illegally. Dude is talented as fuck. Motherfucker needs to pull up his drawers, yo.

187 comments:

El Padrino said...

Now some black guy is on stage. I don't know who he is either. He is megaunfunny. He's complaining about not being axed to host the show. Hey bro, it's because you're not funny or entertaining. Take your YSL belt buckle and get the F off the stage. ""

YS, C?

El Padrino said...

kevin hart is hilarity and is all over ytou've should have known him by now

El Padrino said...

especially since you watch that show on C, he's on there

El Padrino said...

"They are awarding best pop video. Wow, Britney won. NS. I didnt know she was still "singing". In celebration,"

stop it, now i jus dont believe you

tem said...

i thought britney got all fat

Blue said...

who is kevin hart?

that rassler guy?

Todd Packer said...

nice runny diary, Keith

El Padrino said...

jesus

tem said...

i don't know who kevin hart is either.

El Padrino said...

well that is expected

Blue said...

i think i've seen that guy in a commercial before?

El Padrino said...

whatever, he's been the most popular black comic for 3 years now

tem said...

chris rock?

tem said...

dave chapelle?

tem said...

that katt guy?

tem said...

tyler perry?

tem said...

cleveland brown?

tem said...

no joke....rev is 20% of my facebook news feed....time for him to get blocked.

El Padrino said...

so annoying

Blue said...

aziz anisiri is a better black comic than that guy

Keef said...

kevin hart is hilarity and is all over ytou've should have known him by now

He wasn't hilarity

Keef said...

especially since you watch that show on C, he's on there


No idear what you're talking about

Keef said...

stop it, now i jus dont believe you



I didn't know she had anything in the last year.

NS

El Padrino said...

"He wasn't hilarity"

ok judge him on 5 minutes at an award show, which even the best comics suck at

trust me hes funny

El Padrino said...

I didn't know she had anything in the last year.

NS

ok 50 yeard old

El Padrino said...

aziz is the best

El Padrino said...

especially since you watch that show on C, he's on there


No idear what you're talking about

tosh

Keef said...

ok judge him on 5 minutes at an award show, which even the best comics suck at

trust me hes funny



Well being that's the first time I saw him, I really don't have anything else to go off of

Keef said...

ok 50 yeard old


Wow, LP takes his Britney seriously

Keef said...

tosh


When has that dude ever been on Tosh?

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Now some black guy is on stage. I don't know who he is either. "

be careful before you get clapped up

Spaceman Spiff said...

love that scene

El Padrino said...

"Wow, LP takes his Britney seriously"

not a fan

but the song she put out recently which is already old i believe is like top 5 in country for months or weeks

stikes me as odd you havent heard it being as you listen to radio

tem said...

britney has never been on a country channel

tem said...

let alone had a top 5 country song

Blue said...

he doesn't listen to country music

Keef said...

stikes me as odd you havent heard it being as you listen to radio

I listen to sports radio for the most part during the week

Blue said...

country i2i with tem

El Padrino said...

I listen to sports radio for the most part during the week

oh

El Padrino said...

you know other pop hits so i figred you listen to radio, enough to notice

keep on dancing til the world ends

El Padrino said...

i like how britney dissed gaga or jo calderon by refusing to kiss that filthy mouth

El Padrino said...

the singing lounge vampire was inappropiate and disturbing and horrible made the show almost unwatchable

El Padrino said...

here's to hoping beyonce's kid doesnt look like hova

El Padrino said...

fucking joe camel baby

El Padrino said...

if keef paid attention to twitter the beyonce news hit during the pre-show

cmep was all over that

Keef said...

keep on dancing til the world ends



I thought that song was old.

Ns

El Padrino said...

you're a mess

Keef said...

if keef paid attention to twitter the beyonce news hit during the pre-show

cmep was all over that




I look at Twitter maybe once a day. And we were at dinner at my dad's last night so I was watching the VMAs on dvr

El Padrino said...

you have an excuse for everything

s

Keef said...

LP this morning

Keef said...

Having only 4 teams in the beisbol keeper playoffs is retarded

Blue said...

"Having only 4 teams in the beisbol keeper playoffs is retarded"

not if you're one of the 4 teams.


YES!

El Padrino said...

yeah i know, s omuch money at stake, i'd be pissed too keef

s

Keef said...

LP had the 5th best record but he happened to be in a shot* division

El Padrino said...

*touch cookies

Blue said...

yeah, i didn't like how if you win your division you're in the playoffs automatically.

El Padrino said...

that's every sport by the way

Blue said...

yeah, except that in sports usually playing in a division means something.

based on schedule ect...like you play 6 games within the NFC West, and then 10 other games

or you play 18 games against each AL EAST team and 6 against all the other AL teams.

Blue said...

in fantasy baseball, you play the same schedule regardless of division

El Padrino said...

or you play 18 games against each AL EAST team and 6 against all the other AL teams.

lot more games

tem said...

there is a FMLB league?

Big Fat Weasel said...

"Adele performing now. I'm not gonna lie. I like her music."

^^^^^^^^^^^

El Padrino said...

Adele is awesome, always like her

El Padrino said...

nothing to apologize about

Todd Packer said...

I think Adele sucks... annoying whiney music

Big Fat Weasel said...

Your face sucks

tem said...

adele = blank stare

Todd Packer said...

"Your face sucks"

lov has Adele chills

tem said...

had H thought of names yet for baby H?

Keef said...

"I think Adele sucks... annoying whiney music"

She's too young for you

El Padrino said...

He made $20 million in guarantees from the Jets.


very nice

Keef said...

"had H thought of names yet for baby H?"


Brady

Keef said...

"yeah, i didn't like how if you win your division you're in the playoffs automatically."



and the #2 seed

Keef said...

I prefer #3 seed

/LP

Mize said...

I've never heard Adele's music, but hot damn people seem to love it

Keef said...

"I've never heard Adele's music, but hot damn people seem to love it"


stop it, now i jus dont believe you


/LP

El Padrino said...

i believe meiz

Blue said...

wait, H is pregnant?

Keef said...

You misst* a lot, blue.

Keef said...

That's why H got the minivan

Blue said...

damn 2 week vacations

Mize said...

God damn. This is some shit right here. I had to stop reading it at work.

Blue said...

is that selena gomez chick 18?

Mize said...

"wait, H is pregnant?"


Yup. Traded the Camaro for a minivan.

Mize said...

"is that selena gomez chick 18?"

Not sure. I was wondering this last night.

Big Fat Weasel said...

Meiz, Youtube Rolling in the Deep by Adele.

Mize said...

"Meiz, Youtube Rolling in the Deep by Adele."


Note to self

Mize said...

Time to do work stuff

Keef said...

is that selena gomez chick 18?



19 i think

Mize said...

Keith & H, think twice about reading that link at work

Keef said...

"Keith & H, think twice about reading that link at work"


I don't like to think when I'm reading LOV

/LP

Big Fat Weasel said...

H is not pregnant

Keef said...

Rome just pronounced behemoth as "bee-heh-muth"

tem said...

of course H isn't. fmh is.

Big Fat Weasel said...

no.

/cmh

Blue said...

h got married?

El Padrino said...

God damn. This is some shit right here. I had to stop reading it at work.

wussbag

Big Fat Weasel said...

damn it. fmh, not cmh

Blue said...

h got engaged?

Keef said...

"Keith & H, think twice about reading that link at work"

sad

tem said...

getting married is the right thing to do considering she is knocked up.

tem said...

Jesus approves. I imagine.

Keef said...

you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway

/LP

Keef said...

CMLP should be pregnant any day now

Blue said...

i hear that's why fmjug said yes

Blue said...

i bet gilbert arenas is happy he didn't push javaris crittendon too far

tem said...

too soon

El Padrino said...

need to have sex to make a baby

Keef said...

NELSON! on your money team keef? dude just pulled a hammy



Just noticed the dude I'm playing in the semifinals has NELSON!

Keef said...

"need to have sex to make a baby"


preachin' to the choir

El Padrino said...

nelson pulls mad hammies

El Padrino said...

working from home is the better

El Padrino said...

tosh's whole show is youtube vids? doesnt he mix in some sketch work or commentary on other stuff

i forgot i only watched the show once

El Padrino said...

fucking dyrdek

tem said...

web redemptions are sketches.

tem said...

commentary is on internet videos.

tem said...

what program can i use to edit an mp3?

i need to cut out the first 30 seconds of a song.

Keef said...

"tosh's whole show is youtube vids? doesnt he mix in some sketch work or commentary on other stuff"

It's all based off of internets videos, though

Keef said...

"what program can i use to edit an mp3?

i need to cut out the first 30 seconds of a song."

mp3 edit

Big Fat Weasel said...

"what program can i use to edit an mp3?

i need to cut out the first 30 seconds of a song."

I use Audacity

Big Fat Weasel said...

free version works perfectly for what you want to do.

Blue said...

autotune

Blue said...

basically just saw my exact same job online being hired out by a recruiting firm.

hope it's not my job

i'm applying to find out.

Blue said...

if not, hopefully it pays more

tem said...

maybe you'll interview yourself.

tem said...

meiz should apply.

he got that new job though recently. at least i think he got it.

Blue said...

smashburger is running a suite groupon today but the one by my house is sold out..fuck that

Keef said...

I'm applying at Nationwide

Big Fat Weasel said...

They're on your side

tem said...

they are HQed in temhio

tem said...

i think

Blue said...

nationwide sells liquor?

El Padrino said...

gonna sell insurance huh

Keef said...

"they are HQed in temhio"


Yep

Keef said...

"gonna sell insurance huh"


I'm done with sales. Trying to get in as an adjuster

El Padrino said...

good luck

El Padrino said...

ced benson going to jail

20 days

Keef said...

thanks

tem said...

great. hope the 20 days isn't soon.

El Padrino said...

starts the monday before the cincy bye week i think

tem said...

on family guy the kids in chris' class loved the claims adjuster's presentation at school.

El Padrino said...

piece

Big Fat Weasel said...

Still without power at my house.

Spaceman Spiff said...

gotta do it


woe

Spaceman Spiff said...

blue

"Wilson Chandler said he has signed a contract with the Zhejiang Guangsha of the Chinese Basketball Association, a move that would essentially preclude him from participating in the 2011-12 NBA season if the lockout ends and the games begin."

Mize said...

I feel like I butchered the 2nd interview today

Keef said...

NFL pick em
GROUP ID# 38251
PW: tits

Survival league
GROUP ID# 15797
PW: tits

College pick em
GROUP ID# 13594
PW: tits

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Michael Vick and the Philadelphia Eagles have agreed to a six-year, $100 million contract."

Spaceman Spiff said...

around 40 mil guaranteed

Mize said...

I'm in the Pick 'ems

Mize said...

"Meiz, Youtube Rolling in the Deep by Adele."


Oh, she's THAT voice. I've heard her a fair amount. That bitch can SANG.

Keef said...

It's funny how rev likes his own comments

Mize said...

"It's funny how rev likes his own comments"


I have friends that do that lame shit all the time.

Keef said...

Mize's survival pick name is grate

Mize said...

I thought it was a pearl

Pass the Lysol said...

wow, this has been a wild and crazy 1.5 weeks



I've never worked so hard in my life; but I realized something kind of cool....even the high price, prestigious attorneys can't hang in my wheelhouse

it's a very very small wheelhouse indeed, but dammit, it feel fucking amazing

Mize said...

Way to go?

Pass the Lysol said...

Way to go?


Yeah, I think.

Mize said...

Way to go

Pass the Lysol said...

ah, thanks!


look at me, stumbling into a niche


suppose this means I should start taking more of these awful cases

Mize said...

I need to come up with a Summit-specific t shirt. I think I have a good one in mind.

Pass the Lysol said...

Bayside Tigers?

Mize said...

Kod, phonetically spell Mankato please. I'm debating this with somebody.

Mize said...

"Bayside Tigers?"


I can't say right now

Pass the Lysol said...

All of a sudden, I'm trying to match LOV with SBTB


no luck


best I got is me as a cross between Zach and Screech

Pass the Lysol said...

Man
Kay (like the letter "K")
toe

Keef said...

I need to come up with a Summit-specific t shirt. I think I have a good one in mind.



Me too

Mize said...

"Man
Kay (like the letter "K")
toe"


Exactly

Pass the Lysol said...

although it sounds Native, so was probably originally Mon-kah-toe and bastardized into Man-kay-toe

Pass the Lysol said...

For LSII t-shirts, I would have gone with:


Everything is bigger in Texas (except Kod)

Keef said...

Let's make Where's LP? t-shirts



S

Mize said...

"Let's make Where's LP? t-shirts"


Not bad

Pass the Lysol said...

yeah, I liked that one (ns)

Pass the Lysol said...

geez, burned through 2.5 packs of cigs today....sober



trial tomorrow + 3.5 hour drive + a hotel that still actually allows smoking = about 3 packs

yikes, at least I didn't bring the TT down, smoke that too and I may need Oxygen tomorrow

Pass the Lysol said...

oooh, dusted out some old school Kingston Trio for the drive down too, that was fun


that's the kind of stuff I love, and you all probably hate

Mize said...

FB WWF is being janky as fuck tonight

Mize said...

"trial tomorrow + 3.5 hour drive + a hotel that still actually allows smoking = about 3 packs"


Woooooowwwwwww

Mize said...

"that's the kind of stuff I love, and you all probably hate"


And I love odd shit like Roger Troutman. Whatever.

Mize said...

I need talked off the ledge. If I feel like I interviewed like shit today, that means I did, doesn't it?

Even though I feel like they were full of shit when they said several people are up for this position. I don't believe that.

Pass the Lysol said...

"All signs from the past don't show that he had a history that might typically lead to a drive-by shooting and an ensuing murder rap."


that was hilarity Meiz!

Mize said...

"that was hilarity Meiz!"

No.


When the gun thing with Gil Arenas came about we all thought they were just playing with guns.

Not so much.

Pass the Lysol said...

I need talked off the ledge. If I feel like I interviewed like shit today, that means I did, doesn't it?



I guess it depends on the person....fwiw, I almost always feel shitty about everything I really put a lot of effort into a short time after the fact, at least if/until it turns out otherwise

Pass the Lysol said...

"we all thought they were just playing with guns."


seems a bit over simplistic; I thought that particular incident was just playing with guns, but I figured he's end up shooting someone soon enough (because he wasn't that good, and what else was he gonna do)....I guess non-nonplussed comes to mind when I heard about the murder warrant

Mize said...

"I thought that particular incident was just playing with guns, but I figured he's end up shooting someone soon enough (because he wasn't that good, and what else was he gonna do)....I guess non-nonplussed comes to mind when I heard about the murder warrant"


Right, but then his upbringing was discussed today, and it doesn't make sense to me.

And he allegedly did this because somebody robbed him 4 freaking months ago.

Jugdish said...

"Meiz, Youtube Rolling in the Deep by Adele."



air force style

Jugdish said...

beth

tem said...

go

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino