Tuesday, July 26, 2011

LinkedIn, Handicaps and Other Things

I don't get this LinkedIn crap. Apparently I have an account because I get requests all the time from people to be in their network. Then it sends me updates on people I don't know and sometimes tells me what is going on in Real Estate. Is this thing useful at all? Is it just Facebook for business? I don't have time for that shit.

We have a guy who parks his Mercedes in a handicaped spot next to the elevator on the 3rd floor of the garage. Then he walks down the steps into the office. That is when he comes into the office. He is in sales so for the most part he just plays golf. He is apparently really good. Fuck him. He takes that spot so nobody can door ding his mercedes. He had knee surgery like 7 years ago and has milked that tag out of his doctor ever since. I hate him solely for his using a handicap sticker when he isn't handicapped. Fucking douchebag. On the other hand he has a picture of his daughter in his office and she looks good. If TJW were still around I'd fly him into town so he could spit in this guy's daughter's mouth.

Everytime I hear CBA I think Canadian Basketball Association. Not even Continental, I think Canadian. Then I wonder why Canada needs a basketball association.

Michael Phelps is a loser now. Apparently pot is bad for swimmers....but seriously. This was inevitable. He went on the party circuit and lost like a tenth of a second or half a tenth. That's the margin of error in his sport. Too much swimming talk. I'm pretty sure I don't like Phelps anyway, he always has that douchebag smile on his face.

Other ways to tell if someone is a douche:

smile
laugh
the way they handle losing
the way they handle winning
size of sunglasses they wear
needless exposure of a body part they think is great (usually abs for guys...oh wow, you have a two pack? damn you must be awesome, but seriously we are at the Olive Garden and a fine dining establishment like this is not the place to show off your two pack)


Random sidenote: my dad has a six pack now, except it is on his chest. Saw it at the pool while on vacation. Beer belly, but six pack chest. Wierdest damn thing I've ever seen. Then he coughed alot because he has asbestosis and cracked a vertebrae in his back.


And finally, I am getting pumped up for the summit. My september and august are packed with shit to do and places to be, but the summit rounds it all out. It should be a blast.

191 comments:

Beth said...

"Michael Phelps is a loser now."

I'm actually friends with quite a few swimmers and talked about Phelps the other day. Apparently he's relaxing on his training right now cause it's not an Olympic year, but when it is expect him to ramp things right back up and kick butt once more.

But apparently people in the local swimming community, the hotshots who know or have met him, agree that he's a total douche.

Beth said...

Yeah, I know, TMST.

Jugdish said...

beth is a swimming groupie?

Beth said...

The "swimming" in that comment isn't needed.

Beth said...

s

Blue said...

beth is a blue groupie

Blue said...

linkedin sucks

Blue said...

i've never set up a profile there, but i constantly get requests from people to join.

I think it takes your email contacts and hits everyone of them up.

Beth said...

"beth is a blue groupie"

That reminds me of a joke I heard the other day.

A guy was working out in the gym when he spotted an attractive young lady nearby. He asked the trainer that was near-by, "What machine in here should I use to impress that sweet thing over there?" The trainer looked him up and down and said, "I would try the ATM in the lobby."

Blue said...

tebow was the first player to report to the broncos this morning


gotta love him

Big Fat Weasel said...

Beth's joke seems to be autobiographical...

Big Fat Weasel said...

Why do spokeswomen on commercials move their heads so much? Does it make them more effective? If a real person moved their head that much in a conversation I would start laughing I think.

Big Fat Weasel said...

Mark Herzlich signed with the Giants. Good for him. Been a tough road for him

tem said...

blank stare

Keef said...

Fuck Boston

tem said...

women move their heads alot because they are skittish...like a scared hamster.

Keef said...

Amy Winehouse will be cremated following a funeral service in North London ... several U.K. media outlets are reporting.



Then she's going to lay herself in a line on a mirror and snort herself

tem said...

i bet some rich druggie would pay good money to snort winehouse.

kod said...

"Dude, cmkod just keeps winning. I envy that."



-yeah, I'm definitely going to envy her 30 hour a week stress-free job (ns). But...she's been wallowing in the muck career-wise for over 2 decades now, so I'm also happy that she gets to do something a little less sad and heavy.

El Padrino said...

there are swimming communities?

El Padrino said...

TPS railroading my asshole

Keef said...

ha

El Padrino said...

"Mark Herzlich signed with the Giants. Good for him. Been a tough road for him"

Coughlin is a BC monkey

Keef said...

I thought the Ggggggggggggmen had enough cancers

Keef said...

S

Todd Packer said...

"linkedin sucks"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Todd Packer said...

"tebow was the first player to report to the broncos this morning


gotta love him"


tesus chills

El Padrino said...

linked in does suck

it's a site to keep in touch with co workers or ex co workers in your industry

it's good if you like to see people fail or see what they are up to after getting fired

Blue said...

"TPS railroading my asshole"

life sucks, sometimes you get raped

tem said...

al davis is gross

Keef said...

"TPS railroading my asshole"


TPS is the new Joba

El Padrino said...

nothing made me happier last year than seeing that fat toad white trash mongrel fail

El Padrino said...

i recall shane spencer, during one of the yanks playoff runs this kid was hitting hr's at a bondsian pace

remember hoping he died one day
not dead but he's certaintly not in baseball

that cockswallow jon sterling called him shane spencer the home run dispenser

fag

Beth said...

"gotta love him"

No you don't.

El Padrino said...

stop it you'd wax tebow's shank real quick

Beth said...

There are some things a UGA fan can't do, no matter how much money might be involved.

El Padrino said...

lies

i'd fuck any woman for the right price

El Padrino said...

1MM you'd let him go atm for a milly

Blue said...

beth are we gonna bet on the BSU/UGA chick-fil-a kickoff game?

Keef said...

nothing made me happier last year than seeing that fat toad white trash mongrel fail



See, using WT is fun for everyone

Beth said...

Sure, although I'm not overly confident about it. I'm assuming Boise St will be favored but what the hell, I'm fine with a straight up bet.

El Padrino said...

wuusbag

s

El Padrino said...

read an article about starbucks baristas on strike in chile

they have a union

Baristas
on strike
have a union

what the fuck

El Padrino said...

The Deal: In honor of the end of the NFL lockout, T.G.I. Friday's is giving customers a free order of crispy green bean fries (comes with the Cucumber-Wasabi Ranch dip).

El Padrino said...

sounds like Red Lobster is pushing out the African Americans

Keef said...

An Arizona mother is facing child abuse charges after allegedly leaving her 2-year-old daughter in a hot car while she shopped on a day when temperatures reached 106 degrees.
Police in Tolleson, Ariz., say Sandra Rey Holguin, 33, left her toddler daughter locked in a parked car while she shopped at a Kmart in Phoenix's west valley on Friday, MyFoxPhoenix.com reports.




That shit happens so much here.

Keef said...

Shocking that she was at a KMart

Blue said...

those still exist?

Keef said...

Yep. People that shop at Walmart think that people that shop at KMart are WT

tem said...

kmart has the best deals on xbox 360 games.

they'll be $10-15 cheaper at kmart than anywhere else.

El Padrino said...

they have shopping carts where you can actually put your kid in them ya know

Keef said...

You ain't gots to lie, tem

El Padrino said...

“Oh, my God,” Ms. Diallo recounted saying as she caught sight of a naked man — Mr. Strauss-Kahn, who was then the managing director of the International Monetary Fund — in the 28th-floor suite she had entered intending to clean. “I’m so sorry.”

Mr. Strauss-Kahn responded, “You don’t have to be sorry,” and reached for her breasts, she told Newsweek.

“You’re beautiful,” Mr. Strauss-Kahn said as he compelled her toward the bedroom, Ms. Diallo recounted to Newsweek, which also refers to her as “Nafi.” She said she told him to stop, saying: “Sir, stop this. I don’t want to lose my job.”


why didnt she just walk out
you see old balls you run bitch

tem said...

no lie.

kmart on olentangy and bethel is the place to go for video games.

they are consistently cheaper.

tem said...

ask meiz, that's where i got his madden game for $30 or $35.

Blue said...

"why didnt she just walk out
you see old balls you run bitch"

the room had to be cleaned

tem said...

why didn't she get 10,000 to fuck him?

Keef said...

She's the EO of beautiful

El Padrino said...

for real

El Padrino said...

since we cant say the n word we need a name for black white trash

tem said...

bravo tango

El Padrino said...

cool

El Padrino said...

derrick mason cut

Blue said...

why not just call them black


is there any kind of blacks that aren't white trash?

tem said...

denzel washington and morgan freeman

tem said...

and carlton banks

tem said...

and phillip banks

tem said...

and carl winslow

tem said...

and roger murtaugh

Spaceman Spiff said...

marion barber gonna be cut

Blue said...

broncos have been looking at trying to get marion barber if he's cut


i don't think they can afford deangelo williams

El Padrino said...

beck herbed at skins park

Blue said...

he was smokin weed?

Blue said...

i'm still waiting for the flurry of activity that's supposed to start for the NFL

El Padrino said...

Moss'd

tem said...

beck getting turned away is hilarity.

Jugdish said...

Beck was drafted in the second round of the 2007 draft by the Dolphins. In two years with the Fish, he started just four games (with a spotless 0-4 record) and was unable to beat out Chad Pennington(notes), Chad Henne(notes) or the great Cleo Lemon(notes) for playing time. He spent 2009 wearing a Ravens uniform,



suite resume

Jugdish said...

stupid notes

Spaceman Spiff said...

roy williams getting cut

Blue said...

which roy williams?

tem said...

both

Blue said...

guess it doesn't matter, the broncos don't want either one of them

Jugdish said...

Ravens walking away from WRs


good call

/keef

Keef said...

jug would rat out his friends. Got it

Blue said...

"Moss'd"

did we just get rugby on here?

fuck

Jugdish said...

jug would rat out his friends. Got it



::locked out::

Jugdish said...

"Carson signed a contract. He made a commitment. He gave his word," Brown said. "We relied on his word. We relied on his commitment. We expected him to perform here. He's going to walk away from his commitment. We aren't going to reward him for doing it."


face

Jugdish said...

curious to see if they stick by that...looks like they will

Blue said...

curious to see if Carson sticks to his retirement stance

Jugdish said...

that too

Blue said...

i don't blame him though...by all accounts the ownership there is awful

Keef said...

Dude, they have the best owner in sports

s

Jugdish said...

he is still a qb in the nfl...a whiney one, but its still a good yob

Jugdish said...

These people have issues

Blue said...

yeah, can't think of many young guys in the prime of their career who walk away like that


Barry Sanders

Jake Plummer

Pat Tillman

That's about it

Keef said...

jim brown

El Padrino said...

"yeah, can't think of many young guys in the prime of their career who walk away like that"

farve no?






essssssssssssssssssssss

El Padrino said...

mike brown is hilarity

El Padrino said...

remember when, and i know its different sports, but remember when mike young wanted traded

now he's hugging teammates after walk off hits

and remember long time ago kobe wanted traded?

Keef said...

I don't think Mike Young wanted traded because he hated his teammates

El Padrino said...

giants cutting o'hara

shit

Blue said...

he just didn't want to DH

Blue said...

kobe wanted traded?

El Padrino said...

"I don't think Mike Young wanted traded because he hated his teammates"

nerve said that, he wanted traded though now he's happy

kod said...

"That's about it"



Robert Smith

kod said...

Ricky Williams (kind of)

kod said...

Jay Cutler


(I predict)

Spaceman Spiff said...

bron tattoo looks like whitlock

tem said...

"did we just get rugby on here?

fuck"


australian rules football, not rugby.

El Padrino said...

bear bryant back tat is dope not for nothing

tem said...

"Carson signed a contract. He made a commitment. He gave his word," Brown said. "We relied on his word. We relied on his commitment. We expected him to perform here. He's going to walk away from his commitment. We aren't going to reward him for doing it."


i'd agree with this stance if owners didn't cut players all the time in the middle of the contracts.

it is a two way street. owners constantly cut players right before the contract kicks into high money, they don't seem to have any problem doing it.

so when a player wants something new it is dumb to play the "he signed a contract" card. just play the "i own his ass and he'll play for me or nobody" card and go count your money.

tem said...

i just got invited to the Catalina Wine Mixer

El Padrino said...

it's the fucking Catalina Wine Mixer

tem said...

i know.

tem said...

and you won't be there.

FACE

El Padrino said...

im so sad now

tem said...

you are sadder.

you were already sad because you don't work for the Frenchies.

El Padrino said...

that place has gone to shit, im glad i didnt make that move

tem said...

i heard your place has gone to shit because of gollum

tem said...

the auditor rags are all saying gollum is bringing your place down.

Beth said...

"i heard your place has gone to shit because of gollum"

Interestingly enough, gollum says their place has gone to shit cause of ep.

kod said...

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/chris-matthews/why-bill-clinton-should-b_b_909622.html


Bill Clinton for treasury secretary? Yes! That thought never occurred to me before, but I'm 100% on board (ns)

El Padrino said...

stop it kod

El Padrino said...

guman in wheelchair robs pheonix story was funny

Jugdish said...

Interestingly enough, gollum says their place has gone to shit cause of ep.



he also said Lp's sauce needs more garlic

kod said...

"Obama Losing Liberal And Black Support Over Jobs Record"


losing them to whom exactly? I doubt many of us are going to go vote Bachman, Romney or any of those other jokers. We'll vote for Obama no matter what he does between now and November 2012 because he will be the lesser of two evils....which is one of our biggest problems, and why Obama so easily tunes us out, and sells us out.

Gotta figure out how to get the progressive movement relevant again...and I think we need to take the tea partiers much more seriously; as much as I dislike most of their policies, you can't deny that they have done a hell of a job at organizing, mobilizing, and influencing policy in a very short time frame

tem said...

tea party is a dumb name.

if they were the dragons i'd join.

tem said...

why don't we hire someone as treasury secretary that understands cash and has experience with accounting and money and stuff?

El Padrino said...

terrible idea tem

s

Blue said...

why don't we blow the whole thing up and start over


fuck the republicans and teapartiers for their "we're not raising taxes" stance

fuck them in their asses

Blue said...

you know that we live in a country with one of the lowest tax rates of all developed nations?

Blue said...

yet we have the highest corporate tax rate in the world, of which all corporations try to get around because it's significantly higher than every where else.

Blue said...

but then again, other countries have cool things like universal health care, and road without potholes. Low unemployment and low poverty levels

nobody wants those things.

Blue said...

USA USA USA

El Padrino said...

there are alot of things broken in this country, with it all it's still the best

USA! USA!

kod said...

wow, Blue dropping some wisdom


nice to see your input (ns)

kod said...

"you know that we live in a country with one of the lowest tax rates of all developed nations?"



no we don't


/freak

El Padrino said...

what's corp tax

/lp
Founder of bankrupt Tjokes.com

Blue said...

i could never move from the USA

but man i get jaded by the constant bickering and rhetoric that these stupid politicians spout all the time.

tem said...

because in the US politicians are some of the dumbest people we have.

smart people do something better.

El Padrino said...

back to back good points

El Padrino said...

everyone in congress is whiskey tango

/keef

tem said...

everyone everywhere is some sort of tango

El Padrino said...

piece

Big Fat Weasel said...

This place died.

Todd Packer said...

"wow, Blue dropping some wisdom"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

Todd Packer said...

belated congrats to cmkod... hopefully the country station is a short pitstop before moving on to a better station

Todd Packer said...

reds are fuckin up niese right now

Mize said...

"i could never move from the USA"


I would if it wasn't so goddamn expensive and time-consuming.

Keef said...

Beef & broccoli tonight

tem said...

Good job chef keef

Mize said...

What kinda sauce?

Mize said...

Gotta have some hot pepper earl in there, too.

Not that you do, I do.

Keef said...

Orange sauce

Keef said...

I have a little pepper jelly I might put in there

Mize said...

Orange with beef? Nerve had it

Todd Packer said...

"Beef & broccoli tonight"

Keith is eating meat tonight? what's the occasion?

Keef said...

Hardy har har

Keef said...

reds are fuckin up niese right now



Fag

Todd Packer said...

"Fag"

they were

Todd Packer said...

shit ain't over.... reds still have 6 outs and the mets pen sucks

Keef said...

I stand by my comment

Todd Packer said...

shit, lead off double

Keef said...

I don't like that cincy traded gomes

Todd Packer said...

mess announcers are trying to figure out the lineup without Beltran.... how about waiting until he's traded

Todd Packer said...

lead off double, then 2 ground outs to the pitcher

Todd Packer said...

2 out single, 8-6

Todd Packer said...

cmtp tolt* me she got a $182 rebate from jet blue from our ny tickets.... gonna try and work in some summit talk

Big Fat Weasel said...

I thought you were definite?

Todd Packer said...

"I thought you were definite?"

not yet

Todd Packer said...

busy fall. 6 home games, trip to auburn, NY in October, fla-uga in jax... summit would be a nice addition

Todd Packer said...

guy pitching the 9th for the mets is going for his first career save

Todd Packer said...

not 1st save... got pulled with 2 outs

Todd Packer said...

I don't miss bbrod

Keef said...

The turd video on tosh made me vurp

Todd Packer said...

cueto gets the L & doesn't give up an earned run

Keef said...

Tosh is coming to asu. Suite

Todd Packer said...

"The turd video on tosh made me vurp"

missed the last few tosh shows... need to ketchup

Todd Packer said...

this workaholics show is crazy

Mize said...

"this workaholics show is crazy"


Workaholics is the best

Mize said...

Thanks for BBRod

Todd Packer said...

"Workaholics is the best"

I laughed... although too many stiff dong jokes

tem said...

umps cost a pirates a chance at winning in late july. i am surprised i am even remotely care.

Jugdish said...

haselbeck to tn official, verbal agreement anyways

vikings looking to get mcnabb (kod thoughts?)

SF sticking with smith

tjax and lienart to seattle

plax meeting with gmen?? (Lp thoughts?)

Jugdish said...

umps cost a pirates a chance at winning in late july. i am surprised i am even remotely care.


mike and mike are all over having replay in baseball this morning between all the football talk.

Beth said...

"umps cost a pirates a chance at winning in late july."

The Braves will take it.

Jugdish said...

im just glad sports talk is actually interesting this week. trying to convince cgjid to listen with me on our 4 hour ride to Port Aransas this friday

Beth said...

The bigger news from that game though (for Braves fans at least) is that McCann got injured and is likely going on the 15-day disabled list.

Braves slump to start in 3...2...1...

Jugdish said...

i hadnt watched the replay until just now...that was horrible.

the guy running out of the box and falling down was funny...so was that one brave player trying to pick up another one during the celebration at the mound

El Padrino said...

plax meeting with gmen?? (Lp thoughts?)

love it, doubt he'll actually get an offer though

Blue said...

go

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino