Wednesday, June 15, 2011

Post 1,342

That's a lot of nonsense over the past couple of years.

There's not much going on in sports today. Something about a hockey game 7, which is nice. Go Canucks!

I often wonder what ever happened to Happy Gilmore. Did he go on to become a great golfer? Once he figured out his putting woes, did he dominate? I'd like to think he became John Daly.

Grantland.com sucks

Lebron had to clarify that he doesn't think that he's better than anyone else...then he flew off in a private jet to an island in the bahamas that he rented out for his family.

Mark Cuban spent $110K on one bottle of champagne at the afterparty. I need to get clarification because the word is that he spent $110K total buying drinks for the whole place, but then I also heard he spent $90K on one bottle of champagne and left a $20K tip. Oh to be that waitress (/beth). I think he spent 90K on champagne and drinks, not just one bottle. fuck the media and their bullshit spin.

Terelle Pryor is sorry. Sorry he got caught. Drew Rosenhaus is in spin mode. I think TP is worth a 3rd round pick, and i'd turn him into a WR. TP is going to be very disappointed at his private workout when the coaches ask him to run some routes and catch some passes.

Ok enough of this gibberish. Hope post 1344 is full of jems.

328 comments:

1 – 200 of 328   Newer›   Newest»
Blue said...

"you know they are not bathing suits right"


eteo

boardshorts are bathing suits, people that wear them anywhere but to the beach or the pool are tools

Blue said...

read the first sentence



apology accepted

El Padrino said...

no net, no bathing suit

el pad life rule

El Padrino said...

i need a clam bag in my shorts to hold deez nuts

Blue said...

i don't wear a clam bag on a normal day so what's the big deal whilst swimming

Jugdish said...

i don't wear a clam bag on a normal day so what's the big deal whilst swimming


its flippin, its floppin, I'm getting no support!!!

/Cosmo Padrino

tem said...

""So gfH found a nekkid pic on my phone that one of my female friends sent me. Needless to say she is not happy with me right now.""


1) why would you still have such a pic on your phone?

2) why are you letting her look through your pictures and/or even handle your phone?

Blue said...

3) why haven't you posted said picture here?

Jugdish said...

did she see the one of me?

/mize

Jugdish said...

3) why haven't you posted said picture here?

^^^^^

tem said...

rosonjew is correct. Pryor will be a first round pick in the supplemental draft.

the supplemental draft only has 1 round.

in that 1 round teams bid on players with their future picks.

so pryor will go in round 1 to the tune of a bid of a 3rd round pick.

Jugdish said...

chowdpoon.com

El Padrino said...

i don't wear a clam bag on a normal day so what's the big deal whilst swimming

boxers

tem said...

mixed up mortgagee and mortgagor again.

i hate those words

tem said...

no clam bag when swimming means the fish have access to your dong.

El Padrino said...

tem knows

kod said...

"cmk use* to like dane cook, but I convinced her that he's douchetastic"


-nice work; been trying to convince the sdkods of that for a couple years now, no luck

kod said...

"mixed up mortgagee and mortgagor again.

i hate those words"



I do that sometimes with obligee/obligor (for child support purposes); that's why I now use deadbeat and golddigger instead

El Padrino said...

oh a lawyer joke

Beth said...

"So gfH found a nekkid pic on my phone that one of my female friends sent me. Needless to say she is not happy with me right now."


That unreasonable bitch!!

Keef said...

you know they are not bathing suits right



Your amazing

tem said...

"that's why I now use deadbeat and golddigger instead"

i can do that in conversation.

this was a form we had to sign.

i signed on the line labeled mortagee instead of the line labeled mortgagor.

Keef said...

"So gfH found a nekkid pic on my phone that one of my female friends sent me. Needless to say she is not happy with me right now."


That unreasonable bitch!!





Was it the same female fried she was kissing?


S

Beth said...

Hey EP, if you can make it to Atlanta by game time tonight I can get you some free Braves-Mets tix - tonight's firm's seats are up for grabs.

Blue said...

""that's why I now use deadbeat and golddigger instead""


which one is the mortgagee and which is the mortgagor in this situation

tem said...

he'd make it there if you were going with him.

Keef said...

tonight's firm's seats are up for grabs.



Don't hold them too high

tem said...

"which one is the mortgagee and which is the mortgagor in this situation"

neither deadbeat/golddigger applies to obligee/obligor.

i'd use scrooge mcduck for mortgagee and po man for mortgagor.

tem said...

unless i just mixed them up again.

El Padrino said...

"Hey EP, if you can make it to Atlanta by game time tonight I can get you some free Braves-Mets tix - tonight's firm's seats are up for grabs."

i read this as

hey ElP I'm horny and want your meat inside me, fly down quick i'm waiting

Beth said...

Mortgagor = bank

Mortgagee = homeowner


(I think.)

Beth said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
El Padrino said...

"you know they are not bathing suits right



Your amazing"

again

no net

no bathing suit

Beth said...

"i read this as

hey ElP I'm horny and want your meat inside me, fly down quick i'm waiting"


Wait, is this National Pity Fuck Day and no one told me?

Keef said...

hey ElP I'm horny and want your meat inside me, fly down quick i'm waiting


0%

kod said...

Mortgagor = bank

Mortgagee = homeowner


(I think.)

-nope; think of it this way

or = you pay

ee = you receive

Blue said...

that's crazy talk, but what did I expect.


just because you don't understand something, doesn't make it so

tem said...

its june bro

El Padrino said...

"Wait, is this National Pity Fuck Day and no one told me?"

someone else has approached you for a quickie today?

Blue said...

"-nope; think of it this way

or = you pay

ee = you receive"

i think the lessor is the one who leases the land, and the lessee is the one who pays for the lease

kod said...

put a better way (from a real estate website)

"The person who performs the action is the "or" or "er" actor. Think of "employer" or "donor". That makes the you, the borrower, the "mortgagor". You're doing the mortgaging.

The bank, or other lender, takes your mortgage. And the recepient is always the "ee" figure. That makes the bank the "mortgagee"."

Beth said...

"someone else has approached you for a quickie today?"

Yeah and I was going to, but then I found nude pics of some other chick on his cell phone.

s

kod said...

"i think the lessor is the one who leases the land, and the lessee is the one who pays for the lease"


yep, you're right

kod said...

and I do eviction defense


in my own defense, I just use landlord/tenant; much easier for me to keep that striaght

El Padrino said...

we have a gaurantee, gaurantor saying in my line of work

it's pretty easy

the EE - borrows from the - tor

Keef said...

I makes the same mistake with taste/tastes

/lp

Blue said...

tmeeort

El Padrino said...

soul daddy is doing well

El Padrino said...

chestnut

Blue said...

fuck bobby flay

Spaceman Spiff said...

"I think he spent 90K on champagne and drinks, not just one bottle. fuck the media and their bullshit spin."

90K was just for that one huge ace of spades champagne bottle

Blue said...

overrated asshole

Blue said...

"90K was just for that one huge ace of spades champagne bottle"

ok so it wasn't just a 750ml bottle?

Blue said...

i can buy that then

Spaceman Spiff said...

"ok so it wasn't just a 750ml bottle?"

40 times larger

Jugdish said...

Joey Chestnut intends to break his own world record by wolfing down 75 hot dogs, as the crowd chants, “U.S.A.! U.S.A.! U.S.A.!”



lp is going this year?

Jugdish said...

0%

/keef

kod said...

"40 times larger"



$2250 for 750 ml of any beverage is still crazy to me

Spaceman Spiff said...

"For the 2011 Academy Awards, there will be anywhere from five to 10 Best Picture nominees, depending on the number of votes the films get during the preliminary nominations round. This new method will require a nominee for Best Picture to receive 5% of the first-place votes in order to be eligible for the award."

what if only 4, or less, movies get the minimum 5%

Spaceman Spiff said...

dat sandy ass

H said...

"1) why would you still have such a pic on your phone?"

Cuz im an idiot

"2) why are you letting her look through your pictures and/or even handle your phone?"

I was in the shower and she claims she was trying to get to my camera to take a sexy pic for me...

I don't believe that. I think she was snooping.

H said...

Thoughts Beth?

El Padrino said...

"I don't believe that. I think she was snooping."

really?

s

Beth said...

"I don't believe that. I think she was snooping."

"Thoughts Beth?"


Oh yeah, sounds like she was snooping. She can take a pic without scrolling through all the pics already on your phone.

kod said...

I don't believe that. I think she was snooping.


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


been tempted to snoop myself with cmkods phone; haven't gone there though

El Padrino said...

you guys like Oysters?

Beth said...

I've snooped before.

Jugdish said...

I don't believe that. I think she was snooping."


sounds like it to me too. was that pic in your pic gallery or in your text messages?

Spaceman Spiff said...

i like oysters

Blue said...

i don't like oysters

Beth said...

Not even the Rocky Mountain kind blue?

s

H said...

In the gallery

El Padrino said...

Forty-two Queen City bratwursts devoured in 10 minutes (“They weren’t the best ones I’ve ever tasted, to be honest”).


IN YOU FACE KEEF!

El Padrino said...

And the jaw-dropping 72-ounce steak he polished off at the Big Texan Steak Ranch, Amarillo, in eight minutes 52 seconds (the unofficial record of less than 90 seconds belongs to a 500-pound Bengal tiger).


hilarity

Beth said...

Wouldn't have made a difference I bet, if she went through your pics she went through your texts too.

Keef said...

"been tempted to snoop myself with cmkods phone; haven't gone there though"



don't be that guy, kod

Keef said...

"IN YOU FACE KEEF!"


oh, burn

Spaceman Spiff said...

this H story is stalling, we have the facts
-she was snooping
-H is dumb

now H, what is your plan of action

Keef said...

don't try to take away the attention he's getting, spiff

Spaceman Spiff said...

dirk piss

El Padrino said...

my favorite

"Nowitzness" tshirts

El Padrino said...

i read that monday was national Lebron day and the joke was everyone got to leave 12 minutes early

El Padrino said...

i hate it when i buy a watermelon and it aint suite

Spaceman Spiff said...

"i read that monday was national Lebron day and the joke was everyone got to leave 12 minutes early"

you finally read LOV after 'piece'

Spaceman Spiff said...

"i hate it when i buy a watermelon and it aint suite"

dont get me started

/steve

H said...

Apologized. Deleted the pic. Promised it would never happen again.

Blue said...

by deleted, you mean, put in another part of the phone she can't find?

Spaceman Spiff said...

"put in another part of the phone she can't find"

HELP!

/h

El Padrino said...

"Promised it would never happen again."

how can you possibly promise that

kod said...

don't be that guy, kod


^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^


agreed; that's why it's only been a temptation up to this point.

kod said...

and it bugs me that it's even that



I still got some baggage from exfmkod I think

kod said...

"Apologized. Deleted the pic. Promised it would never happen again."



well done; it's usually not the act that sinks ya, it's the cover up

Keef said...

watermelon is gross

El Padrino said...

A new chapter began Tuesday night when the Braves, in what appeared to be an overt attempt to slow Jose Reyes and the Mets’ running game, soaked the infield dirt to the wettest level that Reyes, for one, said he had ever seen.

It was so wet and muddy that Reyes slipped three times. The Mets complained to Major League Baseball because they considered the conditions a safety issue, if not an overt tactical advantage for the Braves.



nice try BEFF

El Padrino said...

"watermelon is gross"

your tastes are so odd

Keef said...

The muddy infield affects the Braves too, right? Or do they wear skis?

Keef said...

"your tastes are so odd"


Canteloupe is the only melon I like

El Padrino said...

its strange hockey lasted longer than NBA

El Padrino said...

"Canteloupe is the only melon I like"

fucking honeydew is the shit bro

Do I Look Old? said...

"The muddy infield affects the Braves too, right? Or do they wear skis?"

i think they soaked it before the mess batted.... shit was dryer when the braves batted

Keef said...

Did the Braves bat 5 hours later?

Blue said...

it is very hot in Atlanta, the field can dry in 10 minutes

Keef said...

Dallas Mavericks shooting guard DeShawn Stevenson was arrested for public intoxication in Irving, Texas, on Tuesday night, two days after the franchise won its first NBA championship.
Irving police were called to the Grand Venetian apartment complex at about 10:30 p.m. CT after receiving a call to report an intoxicated person walking in the area. Officers reported that Stevenson, who does not live at the complex, appeared intoxicated and did not know where he was.

kod said...

Watermelon = A+

*Cantelope = B

Honeydew = D-


Honeydew is therefore the official melon of LOV

Do I Look Old? said...

"Did the Braves bat 5 hours later?"

braves had board shorts in their feet

Keef said...

"braves had board shorts in their feet"


Did they have a net?

/LP

kod said...

so, I decided instead of going for that other job, I asked for a promotion here


will find out Monday


*nervous, you

El Padrino said...

"The muddy infield affects the Braves too, right? Or do they wear skis?"

braves have no base stealing game and are a slow team

that was the point as.

Blue said...

good point, they don't have to run the bases from 1st to 3rd either

Blue said...

becuase they don't get extra base hits...is my point

El Padrino said...

i thought he would have gotten arrested hours after instead of a day or two after

El Padrino said...

he probably drank for two days straight

El Padrino said...

clearly it was attept to slow the mets down

didnt work, they had 4 stolen bases by the 4th inning

El Padrino said...

monetl williams opens up a weed dispensary

tem said...

umps made the ground crew put more dirt on the field to dry it out.

Jugdish said...

H

El Padrino said...

this is fantastic, all viral vids from past 6 years dubbed to queen song

H said...

"how can you possibly promise that"

Well promised I wouldnt save it anyways.

El Padrino said...

better

El Padrino said...

you finally read LOV after 'piece'


no i didnt, saw it on twitter

kod said...

"monetl williams opens up a weed dispensary"


I love his advocacy for cannabis legalization, but DAMN it kills me that he shills for payday loans

El Padrino said...

i hear there is US Soccer going on

El Padrino said...

if it's not olympics no one cares

H said...

You know I always wanna clown EP for his relationship advice but then I realize he is married with two kids and relatively happy. I have no grounds for ridicule. NS.

El Padrino said...

ROMANCE!

Look it up!

H said...

EP compliments kill LOV

Jugdish said...

this pita is good, but it sure is filling

Spaceman Spiff said...

"
no i didnt, saw it on twitter"

EP

El Padrino said...

LOL

Spaceman Spiff said...

pot luck today at work, whats the ruling on temp of food you bring in. you are responsible for your item to be at least room temp if its a hot food right? just need it to be edible, chick brought in tamales but they are ice cold and have to be microwaved. kitchen is crowded as fuck, no way am i gonna put in that effort

El Padrino said...

room temp is expected

Jugdish said...

what if she shot you in the face?

Spaceman Spiff said...

"watermelon is gross"

WFT is this shit

Spaceman Spiff said...

dat ass

Jugdish said...

WFT is this shit


keef doesn't like family guy either...this is to be expected

El Padrino said...

man getting shot in the face must suck

El Padrino said...

dat ass is glory

Spaceman Spiff said...

"getting shot in the face must suck"

eteo

/beff

kod said...

"But Indian Country is not unique when it comes to government as a source of jobs. The whole idea of “dole” is pretty funny when it comes from readers living in the rural American West. We live in a subsidized region. We Westerners have an odd birthright, historically receiving far more in federal support than we pay in taxes. Our water delivery, our power, our roads, our way of life were funded in part by taxpayers. In fact, you don’t really need to go beyond water to understand this scheme. It takes massive amounts of federal spending to keep water flowing in a dry land.

The late great author Wallace Stegner wrote about the idea of a West populated by federal employees in Salt Lake City and Boise or any city where government agencies have regional offices. He once told historian Richard Etulain that states “get an awful lot in federal payrolls and an awful lot of jobs and homes and everything else from the federal government.” The West, he said, should acknowledge the federal government is not only a “permanent partner in that collaboration, but a very essential one, absolutely essential.”


^^^^^^^^^^^^ X 10,000

hey westerners, guess what...you're on federal wellfare too. Maybe we should start issuing water stamps and make them submit to drug tests in order to receive it

Blue said...

that seems likes too long of a comment to read rev

kod said...

that seems likes too long of a comment to read rev


understood (ns)


summary: if westerners are going to bitch about federal spending, many should probably first stop leeching off the federal gov't themselves

Blue said...

what about easterners?

Spaceman Spiff said...

EP,

"I will release the video of Kyrie Irving masturbating with me on skype on June 22, 2011 one day before the NBA Draft.
-realmisshawaii"

Blue said...

is she naked too?

El Padrino said...

wft

Blue said...

you can save that skype stuff?

El Padrino said...

dat ass

Spaceman Spiff said...

"you can save that skype stuff?"

you can record anything that is happening on your monitor

Spaceman Spiff said...

EP will enjoy this

from todays game

Blue said...

atta boy john buck

Keef said...

"WFT is this shit"


It's gross

El Padrino said...

blizocked

kod said...

"what about easterners?"


they, along with most of the US states, subsidize the west

El Padrino said...

your face is gross

Blue said...

"they, along with most of the US states, subsidize the west"

that's a fallacy

kod said...

"that's a fallacy"



you'd like to believe that, I bet

Blue said...

fallacy

Keef said...

They subsidize your face

Blue said...

take away california because they suck

everywhere else is just fine on their own accord

Blue said...

the only reason california is so bad off is because bleeding heart democrats think we should make sure and support all the illegal mexicans

Blue said...

that and the fact that the government keeps pushing all the worthless indians onto our land

Keef said...

I ♥ blue

kod said...

man, feels like arguing with EP here



you two westerners can go on believing whatever suits your needs; we'll keep supplying you water anyway

Spaceman Spiff said...

"blizocked"

catcher throwing back to the mound, ball hits victorino in the head in batters box

El Padrino said...

YES!

El Padrino said...

"man, feels like arguing with EP here"

sounds like your losing then

Blue said...

"sounds like your losing then"


DOUBLE DRAGON

kod said...

The report shows that of the 32 states (and the District of Columbia) that are "winners" -- receiving more in federal spending than they pay in federal taxes -- 76% are Red States that voted for George Bush in 2000. Indeed, 17 of the 20 (85%) states receiving the most federal spending per dollar of federal taxes paid are Red States. Here are the Top 10 states that feed at the federal trough (with Red States highlighted in bold):

1. D.C. ($6.17)
2. North Dakota ($2.03)
3. New Mexico ($1.89)
4. Mississippi ($1.84)
5. Alaska ($1.82)
6. West Virginia ($1.74)
7. Montana ($1.64)
8. Alabama ($1.61)
9. South Dakota ($1.59)
10. Arkansas ($1.53)


The 10 least are:

1. New Jersey ($0.62)
2. Connecticut ($0.64)
3. New Hampshire ($0.68)
4. Nevada ($0.73)
5. Illinois ($0.77)
6. Minnesota ($0.77)
7. Colorado ($0.79)
8. Massachusetts ($0.79)
9. California ($0.81)
10. New York ($0.81)



so suck it biatches (s)

Blue said...

hate to tell you this kod but water doesn't flow uphill

kod said...

"the only reason california is so bad off is because bleeding heart democrats think we should make sure and support all the illegal mexicans"


Cali is in the top 10 subsiDIZING nations


in you face

kod said...

1. D.C. ($6.17)
2. North Dakota ($2.03)
3. New Mexico ($1.89)
4. Mississippi ($1.84)
5. Alaska ($1.82)
6. West Virginia ($1.74)
7. Montana ($1.64)
8. Alabama ($1.61)
9. South Dakota ($1.59)
10. Arkansas ($1.53)

North Dakota, New Mexico, Alaska, Montana, South Dakota.....5 of 9 biggest welfare states are out west (DC doesn't count since it is all federal there)

Blue said...

so 3 of the top 10 are in the west and 3 of the bottom 10 are in the west

kod said...

1. New Jersey ($0.62)
2. Connecticut ($0.64)
3. New Hampshire ($0.68)
4. Nevada ($0.73)
5. Illinois ($0.77)
6. Minnesota ($0.77)
7. Colorado ($0.79)
8. Massachusetts ($0.79)
9. California ($0.81)
10. New York ($0.81)

and 5 of the 10 subsidizing nations are East


ahem...


in you face

Keef said...

"we'll keep supplying you water anyway"


Maybe you haven't heard of this little crick* called the Colorado River

kod said...

"so 3 of the top 10 are in the west"


oh, so NOW you want to count Cali



convenient

Keef said...

"5 of 9 biggest welfare states are out west"


So basically half. Got it

kod said...

"Maybe you haven't heard of this little crick* called the Colorado River"


again, if your position is that the federal government doesn't subsidize your water needs....that's so clueless it's not worth arguing over

Keef said...

FTR, I don't have a clue wft you guys are talking about, but I want to be involved

Blue said...

"5 of 9 biggest welfare states are out west"

i don't think kod count good

Spaceman Spiff said...

me during LOV debates

Blue said...

don't lump the dakotas and arkansas and crap in with the west

Keef said...

"again, if your position is that the federal government doesn't subsidize your water needs....that's so clueless it's not worth arguing over"


I subsidize my own water needs

Blue said...

the only reason the dakotas are so bad off is because of all the indians

kod said...

"i don't think kod count good"


how so?

1. D.C. ($6.17)
2. North Dakota ($2.03)
3. New Mexico ($1.89)
4. Mississippi ($1.84)
5. Alaska ($1.82)
6. West Virginia ($1.74)
7. Montana ($1.64)
8. Alabama ($1.61)
9. South Dakota ($1.59)
10. Arkansas ($1.53)

ND, NM, AL, MT and SD are western; there are 9 states.....5 of 9

Blue said...

hey kod...it snows here, and then it melts and runs down into reservoirs.

our "water shortage" created a little thing people like to call el grande canyone.

Keef said...

I turn my water faucet on, and BOOM, water comes out. The gubment doesn't do that for me

Blue said...

alabama is not in the west

dakotas are midwest, plains states.

that's like saying nebraska is in the west

Keef said...

Alabama is east of the Mississippi, no?

Keef said...

"our "water shortage" created a little thing people like to call el grande canyone"



hahahah

kod said...

alabama is not in the west


yeah, I meant Alaska...which is west



The Dakotas are considered the Western Plains; when I was talking about the western states earlier, I was including the Dakotas

Keef said...

I was there when it was created.

/TP

Blue said...

"Alabama is east of the Mississippi, no?"

last time i checked

kod said...

Some consider everything west of the Mississippi the "west"; I don't expand it that far....but I think the West begins with the plains


we're all forests here; plains are west

Blue said...

well then when i'm talking about the west, i'm not including them, because they're middle

Keef said...

"last time i checked"

Maybe kod's counting all the homes that the tornados blew to the other side of the river

Keef said...

Too soon?

Blue said...

one thing all those "good" states have in common...very few mexicans and indians

Keef said...

"we're all forests here; plains are west"

We have forests here. It's actually on fire right now

kod said...

"well then when i'm talking about the west, i'm not including them, because they're middle"


convenient yet again; definitely a pattern developing here

Blue said...

there's a map here that'll help

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"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino