Monday, May 16, 2011

Let me clear my throat

Here are some things that irk me...

It irks me when I'm watching a beisbol game and the announcer says something like "the count is even at 2-2" or "Dap Greinke is behind in the count 2-1". I've nerve understood that. 1-0, 2-1, & 3-2 are all even counts. If a hitter needs 2 balls for a walk and two strikes for a K, then he is not ahead in the count 2-1. I hate that shit. Let's start a movement to fix that.

People that get tattoos of either their own name or their own initials irk me. Is it in case you pass out and they need to identify you? Is it in case you get amnesia and want to introduce yourself to a chick? I'll nerve understand that either.

When I'm play golfing and the group in front of me has four people who, at best, are at my golfing skill level and they have to play from the blue tees. You dip shits irk me. I understand that you have a set of clubs that cost you $1000, but you suck at golfing. Play from the whites like the rest of us hacks. All you're doing is making this round 30 minutes longer for everyone. And while you're at it, stop taking a second tee shot because your first one didn't go past the ladies tee. You suck.

People that are not courteous irk me. How difficult is it to have manners? If I'm standing in the store, and I'm looking at something on the shelf, and you walk between me and the shelf, say "pardon me" or "excuse me". It's really fucking simple. Old geezers are the worst at this. They don't give a fuck if anyone else is in the store. They'll walk in your way, they'll stand in the middle of an aisle forever, oblivious to anything else going on. It's like they think that being around for 80 years has given them the right to be an ignorant asshole.

People that don't pay off their bet losses irk me.

People that are coming up to a red light, and they feel the need to pull into my lane in front of me because they don't want to be behind any cars at the line. Then the light turns green, and they are the last person off the line. Holy crap, that irks me more than almost anything. I drive fast. I usually leave the line at a green light first, so you douche bags that do that trick...get fucked.

And finally, people who have ridiculous cell phone ringers irk me. The ringer on my cell phone is set to "ring". I don't really want to hear a TI song, circa 2007, when your mom is calling you.

173 comments:

Beth said...

That's a pretty respectable list of things that irk you. (ns)

Jugdish said...

If I'm standing in the store


carts in aisles irritate me. When I shop I park the cart at en end cap or somewhere out of the way then go down the aisles. The people standing there looking at what they want whilst blocking about half the rest of the shelves irk me.

Jugdish said...

this is my current ringtone

Jugdish said...

i miss pulse dialing


/tp

Jugdish said...

this was my previous ringtone...which got some funny reactions from people when they heard that coming from my phone

Jugdish said...

I drive fast


keefy bobby

Beth said...

Jug, if something goes wrong with the launch this morning I'm blaming it on for you being on LOV.

Jugdish said...

obama will fix it

tem said...

"I've nerve understood that. 1-0, 2-1, & 3-2 are all even counts. If a hitter needs 2 balls for a walk and two strikes for a K, then he is not ahead in the count 2-1. I hate that shit. Let's start a movement to fix that."


been saying this for years. i hate it too.

tem said...

"People that are coming up to a red light, and they feel the need to pull into my lane in front of me because they don't want to be behind any cars at the line."

hate this shit when i want to make a right on red and they just fucked that up for me.

also hate it when they don't pull forward enough to let me around for a right on red. if they just get their ass up to the white stop line i have plenty of room. but they stop about 15 feet short.

Blue said...

the hate is strong with this one

Blue said...

you know who else drives fast

the wolf

Contract the Gophers said...

"And finally, people who have ridiculous cell phone ringers irk me."


mine is the theme song to Good Times; it suits me

Contract the Gophers said...

"People that are coming up to a red light, and they feel the need to pull into my lane in front of me because they don't want to be behind any cars at the line. Then the light turns green, and they are the last person off the line. Holy crap, that irks me more than almost anything."


-even worse is in 2 lane highways w/stoplights, when one jagoff stops in the left lane at the light, and then I'm coming up on the light right when it turns green, and have to stop b/c of the one chick on her cellphone who has 0 self-awareness

Jugdish said...

beth

Contract the Gophers said...

"People that are not courteous irk me. How difficult is it to have manners?"


^^^^^^^^^^^


I've had to work hard to let that one go; I suppose if people aren't brought up right they won't get it....it's so simple and easy though

Contract the Gophers said...

I'm usually the slowest off the line at stoplights

but then I drive faster than most; so for most stoplights I get passed by about 20 vehicles off the line that I end up then passing about 1-2 miles down the road



gotta conserve gas these days though, ya know?

Jugdish said...

sometimes its less manners and more situational awareness like kod mentioned. I hate malls, but when i go there i feel like im always moving out of people's way, but they never seem to be...like they're in their own little world.

H said...

TP I am in for a lightning - Bruins bet.

H said...

"Beth"

I bet Jug shed a tear.

Contract the Gophers said...

I hate malls, but when i go there i feel like im always moving out of people's way, but they never seem to be...like they're in their own little world.



^^^^^^^^^^

this is primarily why I refuse to go to the Mall of American under most circumstances, and will avoid shopping at Wallmart at almost all costs

Jugdish said...

I bet Jug shed a tear.



one more flight...but i hate to see it go

tem said...

sometimes in the mall i'll purposely not move.

i get sick of moving for everyone so after a while i just plow into some people.

tem said...

fmtem gets pissed when i do that.

Jugdish said...

i get sick of moving for everyone so after a while i just plow into some people.



sounds like rough touch

/lp

Jugdish said...

aside from malls sucking in general...what also sucks is when you have a family walking mall pace and they're like 6 people wide

Jugdish said...

we could do a whole post on what sucks at the mall

Jugdish said...

like sbarro!

/lp

Blue said...

you know what sucks at the mall, stores that don't have wide enough aisles for a stroller


c'mon people, you know 80% of the people shopping have a stroller at the mall, at least do some sort of test to make sure your mannequins and shit are properly spaced.

Blue said...

i get that you want to cram as much product into that tiny space that you overpay for, but it just makes for a horrible shopping experience when you keep getting hit by stuff because supermom can't maneuver through your store.

El Padrino said...

HEY!!!!!!!!!!

El Padrino said...

i missed your musks

El Padrino said...

"People that don't pay off their bet losses irk me."

give me a break it's coming

El Padrino said...

i couldnt get in to blogger until now

El Padrino said...

I hate that shit. Let's start a movement to fix that.


this is retarded

El Padrino said...

"I've nerve understood that. 1-0, 2-1, & 3-2 are all even counts. If a hitter needs 2 balls for a walk and two strikes for a K,"

if you look at it that way it is, but who does that

Blue said...

the blogger outage made national news

El Padrino said...

"People that get tattoos of either their own name or their own initials irk me."

what about kid names or significant other initials?

El Padrino said...

"And while you're at it, stop taking a second tee shot because your first one didn't go past the ladies tee. You suck"

or, dont play golf

one less thing

Keef said...

"hate this shit when i want to make a right on red and they just fucked that up for me."


Yessir. Tem knows

Keef said...

if you look at it that way it is, but who does that



Me & tem

Keef said...

"what about kid names or significant other initials?"


Not my style but whatever. Getting someone's name or initials out of remembrance is alright. Kids are ok I think. Significant others is kind of lame IMO

Keef said...

And by lame mean whiskey tango

Keef said...

*I mean

Keef said...

Sources: Jeter's Posada stance irks Yanks brass


Hi espn

El Padrino said...

i agree on the tats thing

only worse than significant other tats are dragon tats

Spaceman Spiff said...

wade dunked on GIF

Spaceman Spiff said...

2 hands took it up a level

Spaceman Spiff said...

taj one handed putback GIF

was also suite

El Padrino said...

suite dunker

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Game 2 Wed, May 18
Game 3 Sun, May 22"

WFT is this shot*, fucking nba

Keef said...

The onlything that would of* made the first dunk suitor would have been if it was Bosh instead of Wade

Keef said...

But Bosh got dunked on later in the game

Keef said...

only worse than significant other tats are dragon tats



Ha

Jugdish said...

nad doesn't work in wwf

El Padrino said...

i got a 2nd yob, not steady though

El Padrino said...

just call me Lloyd

Keef said...

The mattress gig wasn't getting you to early retirement?

Keef said...

Do they have pedal extensions for your limo?

Spaceman Spiff said...

"The onlything that would of* made the first dunk suitor would have been if it was Bosh instead of Wade"

disagree, star perimeter players like wade and lebron rarely get dunked on, and if they do it's not as nasty as that, he won't challenge someone straight up like that again

El Padrino said...

Passengers on a JetBlue flight from New York to Aruba thought they were in for a treat when the cabin started to smell like chicken during takeoff — as one person said, "I thought, 'Wow! They have hot food on this plane.' " No such luck: a "very big" bird had been sucked into the engine.


damn birds

El Padrino said...

"Do they have pedal extensions for your limo?"

no, i sit on phone books though

Keef said...

disagree, star perimeter players like wade and lebron rarely get dunked on, and if they do it's not as nasty as that, he won't challenge someone straight up like that again


Good point. But I'd still rather see douche bosh get nuts in his face

Keef said...

LP should start a CM Limo Confessions show

Contract the Gophers said...

"Significant others is kind of lame IMO"


^^^^^^^^^


and dum. My sister and her ex(?) husband got tatoos of each other on their lower legs (not names, but actual picture representations).
-that sucked for her during the divorce; also, red ink was a very bad choice

Contract the Gophers said...

sdkod2 has gdkod2s footprint traced as a tatoo from right after she was born.

I guess a lot of people do that, but I think it's WT


-actually, just in general I think tatoos are WT (unless related to military service)

Jugdish said...

red ink was a very bad choice




milk was a bad choice!

Keef said...

I'm trying to find the interview with KJ Choi from yesterday right after he won the tourney. He spewed hdh

Blue said...

what about just random words tattoed on your body

Blue said...

rockies suck

Blue said...

when does football season start?

why are these judges taking their suite ass time, just decide on this and be done with it

Keef said...

what about just random words tattoed on your body



That's fine if they're in Chinese lettering

/h

El Padrino said...

"LP should start a CM Limo Confessions show"

my wife's uncle got me the gig, he drove a limo full with porn stars once, said they let him watch them fuck each other in the back

i told him i didnt believe him then he sent me a cell phone pic he ninja'd

it was one of those porn convention things

El Padrino said...

i did a 3 hour job sat night

old couple, picked up at home drove to restaurant, they ate, i sat in limo for 2 hours, then drove them back home

$45 salary
$100 tip

not bad, old man was generous, tips not normally like that for rookie jobs like that

Keef said...

"he drove a limo full with porn stars once, said they let him watch them fuck each other in the back"




That's fucking weird, dude

Keef said...

"$45 salary
$100 tip"


Suite

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Australian police say a man who plunged to his death from a seventh-floor balcony on Sunday was participating in the internet craze of "planking".

Planking involves someone lying flat on their stomach in unusual and sometimes dangerous situations, and posting photographs on social media websites.

Police said the dead man, in his 20s, fell from a balcony railing in Brisbane while a friend photographed him.
"

fucking idiots

Blue said...

i can honestly say, i've never planked before

El Padrino said...

"That's fucking weird, dude"

maybe or maybe its awesome

El Padrino said...

kod has planked before

Blue said...

i'm on the fence.

it might be awesome and it might be weird

it might we both though

El Padrino said...

it would be hard to turn away

no law says you cant watch

El Padrino said...

i mean it sounds like a script right, limo driver watching, one of the girls says come here and before you know it he's spunking on all of them

tem said...

"only worse than significant other tats are dragon tats"


jealous

tem said...

don't you need a special license to drive limos?

el pad must just be driving a big car. like some caddy.

tem said...

an old buick perhaps

Blue said...

maybe a monte carlo

Keef said...

Lincoln Towncar

El Padrino said...

"don't you need a special license to drive limos?"

i am special

El Padrino said...

you need a class E for the party buses, you dont need anything else since it's not a taxi commission

its a private limo company
the guy operates his own fleet of cars, each registered and insured

tem said...

follow the rules you terrorist

tem said...

follow the rules you terrorist

Blue said...

obama cut the red tape so EP could drive a limo without a special license

El Padrino said...

trump dropping

El Padrino said...

duh

Blue said...

trump accomplished his mission, got the president to prove he was born in the US

oh, and got him to kill OBL

Keef said...

And he got ratings for his show

El Padrino said...

and he impregnated his daughter

Jugdish said...

why are these judges taking their suite ass time, just decide on this and be done with it



that's what i thought about tcs

Keef said...

"and he impregnated his daughter"

Did you watch him do it?

El Padrino said...

gross

Jugdish said...

kod

Jugdish said...

didn't know he was still in the league


s

Blue said...

watched that movie the fighter last night

who knew papale went on to be a boxer?

Jugdish said...

rev knew

Blue said...

every time he lost I figured it was just O:FB

Keef said...

"didn't know he was still in the league"



I was watching a Bulls/Hawks game last week, and they had the camera on Hubie Brown and Bobby Bo was sitting about 3-4 rows back

Jugdish said...

The franchise, playing its 50th season, has reached unprecedented success with McLane as the owner, making the playoffs six times since 1997.



awesome!

/yankees and braves

Blue said...

that is unprecedented

Keef said...

Obama. The un-precedent

/LP

El Padrino said...

ringtones are for children

Blue said...

if you don't have a ringtone, how do you know someone is calling?

Keef said...

I has it on vibrate in his pocket

Jugdish said...

if you don't have a ringtone, how do you know someone is calling?



no time for that shit

Spaceman Spiff said...

EP you ever seen this guy

El Padrino said...

i have not

Keef said...

New Tosh tomorrow

Spaceman Spiff said...

not a dougie fan i guess

Keef said...

I need to get a goddman pool fence

Jugdish said...

EP you ever seen this guy


he must have been on his way to a job interview.

El Padrino said...

speaking of, round 2 tomorrow am
gonna be late

Jugdish said...

don't forget to lick your kicks for good luck

Jugdish said...

aja...good luck. take a limo there, they will be impressed.

El Padrino said...

you saw the naked guy subway bonanza right

El Padrino said...

thanks yug

Jugdish said...

O:FB

Jugdish said...

weird

Keef said...

KJ Choi interview yesterday

not the one I saw on TV, but it's just as good

Keef said...

What are you talking about? I understood everything he said

/spiff

El Padrino said...

wright stress fracture, lower back

7-10 days

Spaceman Spiff said...

i was laughing as soon as the camera focused on him thinking about how to respond to the first question

Blue said...

trade him to the rockies

Spaceman Spiff said...

WWL forced eltardo to have gay suns guy on his podcast ASAP

Jugdish said...

wonder if he saw the "gay" commercial

Blue said...

who knew that may was gay awareness month

Blue said...

i guess it makes sense


May is Gay

Jugdish said...

who knew that may was gay awareness month

i did not know this

Jugdish said...

who knew that may was gay awareness month



isn't it also sun dress month for mize?

coincidence?

Blue said...

nykakihtb

Keef said...

"wonder if he saw the "gay" commercial"


gay

Jugdish said...

the blake griffin of beer pong

El Padrino said...

ratard

Beth said...

"who knew that may was gay awareness month"

I only celebrate it until the 15th.

Keef said...

iswbdt

Keef said...

So you're more straight than gay?

Contract the Gophers said...

"who knew that may was gay awareness month



isn't it also sun dress month for mize?

coincidence?"


and kod's birthday month


coincidence?

Beth said...

Well if I was doing it by percentage I'd have probably only said the 10th or something similar.

Keef said...

I need to move my birthday. Between star wars and this gay shit, I can't handle it

El Padrino said...

every month is gay month
fucking fags are taking over

El Padrino said...

gay guy no longer has aids

El Padrino said...

piece

Blue said...

comments on that aids article are funny

I guess keith isn't the only grammar police out there

Jugdish said...

I need to move my birthday. Between star wars and this gay shit, I can't handle it



keef is conflicted

Mize said...

"I've nerve understood that. 1-0, 2-1, & 3-2 are all even counts. If a hitter needs 2 balls for a walk and two strikes for a K, then he is not ahead in the count 2-1. I hate that shit. Let's start a movement to fix that."


Yes We Can!

Mize said...

"he won't challenge someone straight up like that again"


Wade challenges shots inside all the time.

Mize said...

Next month is Sundress Month

Contract the Gophers said...

"I've nerve understood that. 1-0, 2-1, & 3-2 are all even counts. If a hitter needs 2 balls for a walk and two strikes for a K, then he is not ahead in the count 2-1. I hate that shit. Let's start a movement to fix that."


let's not

the count begins at 0 and runs upward. Anytime you have more balls than strikes, you are technically "ahead" in the count. Sor, for instance, at 2-1 you are ahead in the count, because two is greater than one.

You are looking at it from the ending standpoint; which is fine.

it's two different ways of looking at the same thing (either from the beginning or the end), and both are correct.

Spaceman Spiff said...

disgusting and hilarity

El Padrino said...

gross but funny

its true

Mize said...

Dusty already broke Aroldis.

Shocking.

Todd Packer said...

glaze was worth a lot of wwf points

Keef said...

Gay

Todd Packer said...

your face is gay

Keef said...

That's neither here nor there

Todd Packer said...

good post, Keith

Keef said...

Thanks

The Rev said...

Most definitely a D+ effort today, Keef

Keef said...

Did you see Teej in Canada eh?

Keef said...

Big night

Keef said...

Rev thinks Phillie phans are spoiled because they've had a playoff team every year since 2007

Jugdish said...

hell of a run

Blue said...

one might say it was unprecedented

tem said...

go

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