Friday, May 27, 2011

Do Day

Mavs in 6. Jug drop off the laundry for Chicago and make sure the sheets are in the bag because the Bulls shit the bed last night.

free credit report dot com commercials annoy me

Keef, since I can't comprehend your comment about Lindsay Lohan I wanted to make a list of woma(e)n and you just let me know if it's a yay or a nay. A few will be easy, a few will not.

Jennifer Love Hewitt
Jennie Finch
The Wife on Everybody Loves Raymond
Rihanna
Rachel Ray
Heather Graham
Ari's wife in Entourage or Franks wife in Old School
Leah Rimini
Misty May
Cindy Crawford
Fergie
Rudy Huxtable
Sarah Palin
Jamie Lee Curtis
Candace Cameron
Bai Ling
Chili from TLC
Lillian Garcia
Lark Voohries (aka Lisa Turtle)
Gabrielle from BH 90210
Dina Lohan
Lil Lohan (Ali?)
Britney Spears
Jamie Spears
Angelina Jolie (COLOV)
Beyonce
Heather Locklear (COOOOOOGAR)
Famke Janssen
Kara Digaurdio
Kelly Osbourne
Stacey Dash
Stacey Kiebler
Nasim Pedrad
Kristen Wiig
Beth
Elizabeth Banks
Francine the Secretary from Bad Boys (part one)
Sable (Lesnars Wife)
Marilyn Chambers
The T-Mobile Chick
Wendy Nix
Rachel Nichols
Snooki
Rebecca Romjin Stamos
Sharon Stone
Sheryl Crow
Erika Christensen
Michelle Rodriguez
Rosario Dawson
Lily Allen
The Flute/Band Geek girl from American Pie
Leann Rimes
Taylor Swift
Kate plus 8 bitch
Kong Khardashian
Kris Jenner
Dominique Dawes
Lucy Liu
Nastasia Liukin
Pink

For those scoring at home I'd do them all

418 comments:

1 – 200 of 418   Newer›   Newest»
Beth said...

"Rudy Huxtable"

Sicko, she was like 5.

s

Beth said...

"For those scoring at home I'd do them all"

This would've been assumed even if you hadn't said it. You're a "hole and a heartbeat" guy if I've ever seen one.

(And you may not be a stickler about the heartbeat part. s)

tem said...

I wonder if el pad could name 20 famous chicks he wouldn't fuck.

tem said...

And for fairness sake he should keep them under 60 and not go with a bunch of 80yr olds, but even then I think he'd fuck betty white

El Padrino said...

"You're a "hole and a heartbeat" guy if I've ever seen one."

wow

i dont even know what to say

El Padrino said...

"I wonder if el pad could name 20 famous chicks he wouldn't fuck."

I'll try

Beth said...

"And for fairness sake he should keep them under 60"

One on his list in his post is 52 so who knows.

El Padrino said...

tem dont tell me you'd at least bed half of that list

damn lies

shit beth you'd fuck 20% of that list

Beth said...

"shit beth you'd fuck 20% of that list"

Oh it'd be more than 20%. (ns)

El Padrino said...

yay!

El Padrino said...

ive got 12 non fucks so far
hard remembering ugly bitches

Todd Packer said...

"The T-Mobile Chick"

I heart the t-mobile chick

Blue said...

I wouldn't hit:

Dina Lohan
Ali Lohan (she's like 15)
Kelly Osbourne
Michelle Rodriguez
Snooki


but that's about it

Blue said...

what about Flo from the progressive commercials?

Blue said...

ones i'd hit but be ashamed of and not tell anyone:

sharon stone
kate +8
Kong Kardashian

El Padrino said...

no go on flo

unless i could choke her to death while im doing it but ive never been that kind of rough sex guy

El Padrino said...

"Ali Lohan (she's like 15)"


ahem, 18 in december

El Padrino said...

dina is a cougar

Todd Packer said...

"what about Flo from the progressive commercials?"

no

El Padrino said...

i would not.....

sarah jessica parker
queen latifah
lady gaga
Oprah
Nancy Liebermann
Cheryl Miller
sharon osbourne
Nancy Pelosi
Lebron's mom
Denise Huxtable
Amy Whinehouse
Macy Gray
Maria Shriver
Arnie's mistress
Gwenyth Paltrow
Claire Danes
Tilda Swinton
Margaret Cho
Kate Moss
Madonna

Blue said...

funny

i'd pound gwyneth and claire

tem said...

lebron's mom doesn't really count as famous, but solid A for the list.

tem said...

and yeah, i'd do a few people on his no pound list.

Blue said...

no on the lisa monet?

how do you feel about claire huxtable

El Padrino said...

claire danes is so ugly i just cant take it

and paltrow, i only put her there because she's a cunt

El Padrino said...

"how do you feel about claire huxtable"

i'd destroy Mrs. Rashad

El Padrino said...

"no on the lisa monet?"

looks like an Albino Jamaican

no go

Blue said...

what about left-eye from TLC?

or T-Boz?

El Padrino said...

"what about left-eye from TLC?

or T-Boz?"

well i dont fuck dead people but if she were alive yes

and t boz yes

Blue said...

yeah it was kind of weird seeing TLC without the L

El Padrino said...

there are so many yes's i left out

i tired to cut across all platforms like music, tv, sports, etc.

doing just music alone or movies the list would be go on and on

El Padrino said...

i told one of my guys he can leave early if he brought in donuts

he brought in donuts

i can get used to this

tem said...

YES - Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jennie Finch, The Wife on Everybody Loves Raymond, Rihanna, Rachel Ray, Heather Graham, Ari's wife in Entourage or Franks wife in Old School, Leah Rimini
Misty May, Cindy Crawford, Sarah Palin, Chili from TLC, Angelina Jolie, Beyonce, Heather Locklear, Famke Janssen, Stacey Dash, Stacey Kiebler, Elizabeth Banks, The T-Mobile Chick, Rachel Nichols, Rebecca Romjin Stamos, Sharon Stone, Michelle Rodriguez, The Flute/Band Geek girl from American Pie, Leann Rimes, Lucy Liu


NO - Fergie, Rudy Huxtable, Candace Cameron, Lark Voohries (aka Lisa Turtle), Britney Spears, Kelly Osbourne, Beth, Marilyn Chambers, Wendy Nix, Rosario Dawson, Sheryl Crow, Taylor Swift, Kate plus 8 bitch
Dominique Dawes, Snooki



I DON'T DO PEOPLE WITH PENISES -Jamie Lee Curtis, Pink


BLANK STARE - Bai Ling, Lillian Garcia, Gabrielle from BH 90210, Dina Lohan, Lil Lohan (Ali?), Jamie Spears, Kara Digaurdio, Nasim Pedrad, Kristen Wiig, Francine the Secretary from Bad Boys, Sable (Lesnars Wife), Erika Christensen, Lily Allen, Kong Khardashian, Kris Jenner, Nastasia Liukin

tem said...

YES - sarah jessica parker, Maria Shriver, Gwenyth Paltrow, Kate Moss

Blue said...

ADELE?

Blue said...

that was directed at EP

tem said...

adele = blank stare from tem.


shocking, i know

El Padrino said...

YES - sarah jessica parker

SO YOU'D FUCK A HORSE!

Beth said...

So just to clarify ep, you'd have sex with her but not with her?

Wow.

I just don't know what to say.

Blue said...

what about christina hendricks?

El Padrino said...

ADELE?

i think yes, i dont mind some fat chicks once in awhile

El Padrino said...

Claire Danes is a St. Bernard

El Padrino said...

"what about christina hendricks?"

sure why not, nerve been knocked out cold by a titty before

El Padrino said...

tems a ufc fan but doesnt know sable?

tem said...

UFC PICKS:

Quinton “Rampage” Jackson vs. Matt Hamill

Hamill will try to take Rampage down. He'll have to. He'll have to take him down and lay on him for 2 rounds. If he does that Rampage will quit in round 3.

I don't think Hamill will be able to do it though. I' picking Rampage by round 1 KO.


Frank Mir vs. Roy Nelson

Nelson is fat looking, but a solid fighter. Mir is a pretty boy, but a solid fighter as long as the other guy isn't a beast.

Nelson is not a beast. This should be a good fight. I suspect Mir will go for the takedown and submission, but Nelson is probably too good for that.

Should be lots of clinching and stand up, hopefully not too much clinching because that gets dumb.

I'll go with Mir by decision.


Rick Story vs. Thiago Alves

Story is on his way up, Alves maybe down. I'll go with Story.


Stefan Struve vs. Travis Browne

a 6'11" guy against a 6'7" guy. Browne will be tired by the end of round 1. Struve by round 2 KO.

Brian Stann vs. Jorge Santiago

Stann is a former Marine. They'll say that 100 times at least. He'll also lose this fight.

Miguel Torres vs. Demetrious Johnson

Torres is like 100 years old or atl east looks it and weighs 135. It is never good when your age is almost > your weight. He loses to some dude I've never heard of.

Kendall Grove vs. Tim Boetsch

I am shocked they still let Grove fight in the UFC he is wierd as hell. He'd fuck Lady Gaga. Boetsch wins I guess.

tem said...

"tems a ufc fan but doesnt know sable?"


to my knowledge she has never fought in the UFC.

i know she is lesnar's wife. i know she did WWF shit. i have no idea what she looks like.

tem said...

same with some of those other people. i know why they are famous but i have no idea what they look like.

Beth said...

"same with some of those other people. i know why they are famous but i have no idea what they look like"

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

El Padrino said...

NO - Britney Spears, Rosario Dawson


Madness

El Padrino said...

"same with some of those other people. i know why they are famous but i have no idea what they look like."

google says hi

tem said...

"what about christina hendricks?"

was smoking hot on Firefly.

tem said...

"NO - Britney Spears, Rosario Dawson"


britney was a tough no. if i had a couple drinks she'd be a yes.

Rosario is ugly.

tem said...

something is wrong with rosario's face. bad mouth to head ratio or something.

El Padrino said...

that's one you'd have to categorize you see

like Elevator

if you and her were stuck in an elevator for hours, then yes

El Padrino said...

or deserted island

Blue said...

how did i get stuck on this island?

Keef said...

Pink has a penis, you fag

Keef said...

I heart the t-mobile chick



Is that the chick who looks like Liv Tyler

tem said...

"Pink has a penis, you fag"

DOUBLE DRAGON TAT

Blue said...

"Is that the chick who looks like Liv Tyler"

kind of

El Padrino said...

"Pink has a penis, you fag"

nut uh

Keef said...

Yes, nuts too

Blue said...

just because she has more muscular definition than you and can totally kick your ass, doesn't make her have a penis

it just makes you a pussy

El Padrino said...

Operation 6 pack by july is back on

El Padrino said...

this time its different

Keef said...

Yeah right

El Padrino said...

im gonna use this ab lounge thing, if i can figure out how to use it that is, looks like a death trap of some sort

Keef said...

Hilarity. Why not just buy that ab belt thing

Keef said...

Ftr, I'd fuck most of that list. As far as Lohan, I told you I can't stand red heads. I think they're hideous

El Padrino said...

"Hilarity. Why not just buy that ab belt thing"

ab lounge im storing for someone, i dont want to buy shit

i dont know what that is anyway

El Padrino said...

keef hates freckles

Keef said...

I like how LP has Kong but not Kim on that list. Weirdo

El Padrino said...

kim's a given

and you know this man

El Padrino said...

i got the mother on there too

Keef said...

I would not fuck Sharon Stone, Snooki, Rudy Huxtable (or her mustache), any Lohan, Kelly Osbourne, Michelle Rodriguez (she also has a pee pee), pink, Band camp girl.

I don't know or can't picture some of the chicks on that list

Keef said...

kim's a given

and you know this man




But you have Beyonce on there

Keef said...

Man, I had the biggest crush on Dominique Dawes when I was a kid

El Padrino said...

me too, that's why she's on the list

Keef said...

Like blue, I'd definitely be ashamed of fucking the Kate +8 bitch

Keef said...

You're a "hole and a heartbeat" guy if I've ever seen one


That's probably the truest statement ever made here

NS

El Padrino said...

i dont see the mustache

Keef said...

me too, that's why she's on the list


Also had a crush on Dominique Moceano

Keef said...

i don't see the mustache



They probably shave for photo shoots

El Padrino said...

You're a "hole and a heartbeat" guy if I've ever seen one


That's probably the truest statement ever made here

NS


that's TJW, anyway, most of that list everyone would so that's not true

i just love women

El Padrino said...

Dominique Moceano

odd

Keef said...

odd



Ok pink

Blue said...

it's not like he said Kerry Strug

Blue said...

i always liked that chick whose married to a hockey player

from 24

and the girl next door

and that new show happy endings

Keef said...

I liked Kim Zmeskal too

Spaceman Spiff said...

"I am shocked they still let Grove fight in the UFC "

they dont like cutting ultimate fighter winners

El Padrino said...

"and the girl next door"

yes please

Elisha Shubert or something close to that

El Padrino said...

she was from old school too

Keef said...

Cuthbert

Keef said...

Eliza Dushku is a winner, too

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Dominique Moceano

odd"

YS, C?

everyone was in love with this chick at the time, i was in 7th or 8th grade, dunno how old you were

then she got fat like all the other gymnasts

Keef said...

Double dragon

El Padrino said...

lohan looks good here, keef watch

maybe she's a redhead, technically, but she doesnt look like one all the time

El Padrino said...

sfw

El Padrino said...

"Eliza Dushku is a winner, too"

hate fuck, boston girl

El Padrino said...

"YS, C?"

romania girls look beat

USA! USA! USA!

Keef said...

It really bothers lp that I don't like Lohan

Blue said...

you know that dominique moceanu is american right?

Spaceman Spiff said...

"romania girls look beat

USA! USA! USA!"

i dont get this comment

Spaceman Spiff said...

i2i

Spaceman Spiff said...

danes is a bobblehead now

Spaceman Spiff said...

congrats H, you can start thinking of a name/pic

El Padrino said...

"romania girls look beat

USA! USA! USA!"

i dont get this comment

i know shes american, but she's romanian descent so im sayin i dont like romanian looking girls

usa usa was a joke

El Padrino said...

"It really bothers lp that I don't like Lohan"

it does

Spaceman Spiff said...

we saw 3 pretty awful chokes in 1 week

El Padrino said...

"we saw 3 pretty awful chokes in 1 week"

4

/beth

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Tate Forcier, who quit the football team earlier this year, had locked himself in a bedroom of a third-floor apartment April 22, and was hanging out the window, the report states."

Keef said...

crazy

El Padrino said...

that is nuts

Spaceman Spiff said...

"Pippen: "Jordan best scorer ever but I may go as far as to say LeBron James may be the greatest player to ever play the game.""

eeeeeasy pip

Keef said...

MJ ate pieces of shit like Lebron for breakfast

Blue said...

i don't get this.

it's like people completely forgot about the way the game was played when MJ was around.

the games were 85-80 all the time. defenses ruled the world. you could basically mug the ball handler as long as he wasn't moving towards the basket, and even then, you could hand check

El Padrino said...

it's crazy

El Padrino said...

pippen is on drugs

Blue said...

freak is inconsolable

Blue said...

finally finished that crappy new karate kid


what a waste of my time

Todd Packer said...

mj was a cry baby bitch

Spaceman Spiff said...

hilarity

Blue said...

"mj was a cry baby bitch"

and lebron's mom had sex with delonte west.


at least MJ never tanked a playoff series

Blue said...

he just quit the sport

Blue said...

W




A




L





L

Blue said...

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tem said...

I think haberny's demands are reasonable

El Padrino said...

meiz is gonna look at this list like a dog with the head turnt* sideways

Blue said...

who is haberny?

Spaceman Spiff said...

guy in the hilarity link

Blue said...

i wonder where amy whinehouse is on EP's list

Blue said...

oh that haberny

El Padrino said...

"i wonder where amy whinehouse is on EP's list"

on the no list

Keef said...

don't act like you have standards all of a sudden

El Padrino said...

she was on the no list i posted earlier dick face

El Padrino said...

i do have standards

just really really really low ones

tem said...

mchale to rockets

Beth said...

"i do have standards
just really really really low ones"


Not as low as mine.

/cmep

Keef said...

"i do have standards
just really really really low ones"


Ironic

Keef said...

"Not as low as mine.

/cmep"



Heyoooooo

El Padrino said...

wow

i dont even know what to say

El Padrino said...

keef

tem said...

"wow

i dont even know what to say"

only a matter of time before someone made the joke

Contract the Gophers said...

"Claire Danes is a St. Bernard"



she's unique looking, but she's always been one of the most attractive actresses to me (ns)

El Padrino said...

oh god

Contract the Gophers said...

I liked Kim Zmeskal too


ha! I had a huge crush on her during the 92 games; pretty much everyone I mention this to gives me a"

::how the hell am I supposed to remember women gymnasts from 15-20 years ago?::

Contract the Gophers said...

"so im sayin i dont like romanian looking girls"


gdkod2 is half Romanian; she's got the Romanian vampire teeth with a propensity to bite...rough combo

El Padrino said...

hilarity

El Padrino said...

was watching epsn there was some softball action, womanz and the stanford team had a couple of gerharts

google says they are triplets, the boy QB in college, just transferred out of missouri

El Padrino said...

boy is ASU i meant, o lineman

triplets play softball

girls

Spaceman Spiff said...

cleveland mavs shirt

El Padrino said...

keef would you do hsilok or csilok?

El Padrino said...

man triplets

that must suck asshole

Spaceman Spiff said...

i want this

Blue said...

that sandwich looks awesome

El Padrino said...

yum

El Padrino said...

anyone else notice hershey bar with almonds they skimp on the almonds now?

Blue said...

just got some jalapeno fudge


it's blowing my mind right now

El Padrino said...

ice cream version or fudge fudge like the bar of fudge

El Padrino said...

ice cream version is silly

Blue said...

like a bar of fudge fudge

some little chocolate place by my office makes it

also, they have chocolate covered bacon. Chocolate covered pickles, chocolate covered jalapeno

they also have a large assortment of old school candy, like candy cigarettes and bubble gum cigars

El Padrino said...

nice

Keef said...

I don't understand what the t-shirt link was for, LP

Keef said...

"anyone else notice hershey bar with almonds they skimp on the almonds now?"


Almonds are gross

El Padrino said...

"I don't understand what the t-shirt link was for, LP"

wasnt that the shocker?

El Padrino said...

Almonds are gross

oh my god

Keef said...

"keef would you do hsilok or csilok?"

Tough question. If I was single, yes to hsil. With csil, she's cute, but she'd be the clingy type if you sexed her up. But if it's just sexy time & nerve* hear from her again, then yes

Keef said...

"wasnt that the shocker?"


Yeah. I didn't go to Wichita State, though

Keef said...

actually no, that wasn't the shocker. That's just the i love you sign

El Padrino said...

"Yeah. I didn't go to Wichita State, though"

i was under theimpression the shocker was a ASU thing

Keef said...

"oh my god"


Nuts are for squirrels. And Beth.

El Padrino said...

"Tough question"

i like the honesty here

Keef said...

csil is the chick from wedding crashers

Keef said...

goddamn it, this kid needs to go to sleep.

Keef said...

She'll learn one day that naps are the most glorious things on earth

Blue said...

that wasn't the shocker

Blue said...

although it was kind of similar

Keef said...

how come yesterday LP said he'd bang lady gaga but today she's on the no list

El Padrino said...

"how come yesterday LP said he'd bang lady gaga but today she's on the no list"

i linked the ass and it looked so good but changed my mind immediately after that yesterday

Blue said...

i wonder how tem feels about penolpe cruz's nose

El Padrino said...

Bucs' Talib indicted for shooting at man in Texas

Ray Lewis was right.

Spaceman Spiff said...

shooting happened 2 months ago

tem said...

"i wonder how tem feels about penolpe cruz's nose"


i bet you can guess correctly.

tem said...

"shooting happened 2 months ago"

during lockout right?

El Padrino said...

penelope cruz is super hot

Spaceman Spiff said...

ray said crime will rise if the lockout extends into the season

Contract the Gophers said...

"shooting happened 2 months ago"

"during lockout right?"


either way he's gonna get raped (s)

El Padrino said...

"ray said crime will rise if the lockout extends into the season"

joke is still funny to me

El Padrino said...

you should all be ashamed when you eat Subway

Keef said...

"joke is still funny to me"


LP is laughs at his own jokes guy

tem said...

and fucks almost any hole guy

Keef said...

wgaf about high fructose syrup

El Padrino said...

subway is disgusting bro cmon

El Padrino said...

taste terrible compared to a good deli sammich

El Padrino said...

taste terrible compared to a good deli sammich

Keef said...

it is what it is. A place to get a quick cheap sandwich. You act like we eat there because we think it's the healthiest place on earth

Spaceman Spiff said...

we doing this again

El Padrino said...

plenty of options

Keef said...

"plenty of options"

Like what? Blimpie? Supermarket deli? Quiznos? They all use the same shit

Keef said...

"we doing this again"


I'm bored

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 418   Newer› Newest»

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"Idiots with nothing better to do"





"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem





"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug





"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino





"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H





"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino





"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino