Thursday, April 28, 2011

Mock Draft

I'm fairly certain my mock draft will be 100% accurate:

1. I will watch the first round

2. I will drink beer.

done!

Jon Gruden as a football announcer...no.

Jon Gruden QB camp...yes.

I'd like to see a UPS camp that mize runs like the Gruden QB camp. Bring back dummy and new guy, throw bossman in there. Those were good times.

I think we need a third party involved in this NFL lockout/dispute. Can the fans get together and hold out on watching games until the Sunday Ticket is available on more than just Direct TV?

Was TJW Canada's non-famous version of Charlie Sheen?

143 comments:

Beth said...

"Was TJW Canada's non-famous version of Charlie Sheen?"

Excellent question, except that I'm pretty sure Sheen has had sex and I don't think TJW had when he was on LOV.

I hate New York said...

Sunday Ticket is available on more than just Direct TV?




red zone package

I hate New York said...

"I don't think TJW had when he was on LOV."

he finger banged

I hate New York said...

Man dressed as cow steals 26 gallons of milk from grocery store...

tem said...

I dislike QB camp.

When did Jon Gruden actually ever groom a QB? Why is he an expert on young QBs?

Beth said...

"he finger banged"

Well of course, just like he was almost an Olympic speed sprinter, and incredibly good looking, and incredibly rich and incredibly smart, etc.

tem said...

a good spitter too

Blue said...

barely got out of Alabama (ns)

as we took off you could see the tornadoes, the pilot came on the intercom and said we were the last flight out and they were evacuating the tower/airport at that time

Blue said...

may be turning around and heading back though.

sounds like cmblue's family all got wiped out. Her parents house was basically the only one that is liveable right now.

luckily they don't think anyone was hurt...although they can't get a hold of her step grandmother

I hate New York said...

"When did Jon Gruden actually ever groom a QB? Why is he an expert on young QBs?"

well he was an offensive coach his whole career and revived Gannon and made a Super Bowl winner out of Brad Johnson

I hate New York said...

sorry to hear that blue, hope everything works out ok

that's a bad scene down there

Blue said...

yeah, i guess peeps were freaking out because the tornado was right at the airport, we had like 20 texts when we landed.

lucky we got to leave yesterday, because we would be stuck down there if we were planning on leaving today

H said...

Jebus Blue. That's some scary shit.

tem said...

"revived Gannon and made a Super Bowl winner out of Brad Johnson"

both were old as shit when he had them. he has never groomed a young QB.


also don't kid yourself with Johnson. The Tampa Defense made him a Super Bowl winner, not Gruden.

tem said...

i've always wanted to see a tornado. but not be in one.

those things are no joke.

I hate New York said...

but your face is a joke

I hate New York said...

smoltzie

tem said...

your city is a joke.

nobody in the USA likes NYC except NYCers.


if the USA could sell NYC to canada it would.

I hate New York said...

Panasonic, the biggest Japanese maker of consumer electronics goods, announced a major reorganization Thursday under which it will cut thousands of jobs as it adapts its business to a changing global environment.

japan struggling

Jugdish said...

Any time "acquiring someone with a season-ending spinal injury" is actually a savvy move, you know your season didn't go so well.


funny

Blue said...

harsh

tem said...

got this email from a gov't person earlier this month:


"This waiver request will expire on the earlier of 4/28/11 or the end of the month, whichever comes first. "



so it will expire on the 28th, got it. /as.

Beth said...

Hey, does anyone here have any experience or know much about AT&T Uverse cable? My current cable keeps having issues they can't fix so I'm thinking of switching.

Spaceman Spiff said...

in b4 EP recommends fios

Jugdish said...

Hey, does anyone here have any experience or know much about AT&T Uverse cable? My current cable keeps having issues they can't fix so I'm thinking of switching.



not much, but my brother has it and he likes it. the dvr from any room in the house is cool. they haven't had any issues with it and the price is good.

tem said...

office pizza party.

pizza is late.

Spaceman Spiff said...

UFC picks whilst you wait

tem said...

i am this






















close to taking shields

Contract the Gophers said...

"well he was an offensive coach his whole career and revived Gannon and made a Super Bowl winner out of Brad Johnson"


you should sign Favre; he seems to revive and rehab ex Vikes QBs

tem said...

Georges St. Pierre vs. Jake Shields



St. Pierre is a dominant, but boring fighter. He doesn't care. His way of winning is to out wrestle or out jab the opponent.

He'll hit Shields with a ton of jabs and try to avoid the ground because that is where Shields is best.

I suspect Shields will take him down once, but that is about it.

Expect 5 rounds of Sheilds going for a take down and getting a faceful of jabs.

GSP by decision.

tem said...

Jose Aldo vs. Mark Hominick


Aldo should cruise. Aldo should win within 2 rounds.

So I'm going to take Hominick in what might be a bigger upset than if Shields beats St. Pierre.

tem said...

Lyoto Machida vs. Randy Couture

Machida used to be my favorite fighter. Until he turned out to be a pussy.

Couture eats pussy for breakfast, lunch and dinner. And has pussy snacks.

Machida is a quick pussy though so that will make life tough for Couture.

I expect Randy to chase Machida for 2 rounds of "who the fuck won that round?" and then in round 3 Randy will take him down.

My pick, Couture by decision

tem said...

Benson Henderson vs. Mark Bocek


little known fact. i refer to my penis as Benson Hendergrass.

The fighter Benson is quick (insert so is the penis one joke here). He will just run around and punch and kick Bocek in ridiculous manner for 3 rounds or until he KOs Bocek.

Henderson wins.

tem said...

Vladimir Matyushenko vs. Jason Brilz


haha, russian.

Brilz wins anyway because his name ends in a Z.

Buffer takes 1 minute to say Vladimir's full name.

tem said...

Rory MacDonald vs. Nate Diaz


Diaz brothers are on a roll lately. I don't expect that to end here.


pizza is here.

I hate New York said...

good go eat

Spaceman Spiff said...

UFC events start an hour earlier now, for anyone who was gonna watch

Spaceman Spiff said...

dont think couture will get machida down

Spaceman Spiff said...

gary neal deserves to be dunked on 100 more times after what he did last night

I hate New York said...

cam newton and 55MM?

dont do it Carolina dont do it

I hate New York said...

blue i think the broncos take Von Miller

Blue said...

"blue i think the broncos take Von Miller"

if dareus is there, they take him

Blue said...

they'd rather trade back and maybe end up with Fairly as a worst case

Blue said...

they're worried about von miller being able to cover as a linebacker.

tem said...

what time does the draft start?

I hate New York said...

if dareus is there, they take him

i think the draft is stocked with DL's and Von, while may not be a great cover backer, is a nice pass rusher, like Matthews for GB

that's my logic

Keef said...

logic, schmogic

tem said...

they should take gabbert. he seems like a good pick for everyone.

who doesn't want a QB who never really won in college?

I hate New York said...

lots of good qb's have that distinction tem

i dont like gabbert much either but not because hes wins and losses in college are weak

Keef said...

"lots of good qb's have that distinction tem"



E. Manning

I hate New York said...

eli was a prolific college qb ya dunce

tem said...

"lots of good qb's have that distinction tem"

name 10

Keef said...

"eli was a prolific college qb ya dunce"


ok

Jugdish said...

name 10



can you combine it with rough touch wins?

Keef said...

"name 10"


How many Big East teams are there?

tem said...

"How many Big East teams are there"

umm 7?

tem said...

but are you insinuating that good pro QBs come out of the big east without winning in college?

Keef said...

"but are you insinuating that good pro QBs come out of the big east without winning in college?"


Are you?

tem said...

no

tem said...

i think i am asserting the opposite.

really just wanted to give el pad homework to do.

I hate New York said...

matt cassel, phil simms, joe montana had a great last college year, fucking Brady

off the top of my head, id have research some others

Keef said...

"no"

That's what I'm saying

I hate New York said...

randall cunningham

I hate New York said...

Steve DeBerg

Jugdish said...

bait

Keef said...

"matt cassel"

hilarity

Keef said...

Don't forget Jay Cutler

Blue said...

john elway never played in a bowl game

I hate New York said...

ah classic jet draft reel

Keef said...

"john elway never played in a bowl game"


He's also the biggest fan of Tesus, apparently

Blue said...

he is the biggest fan, just not as a quarterback.

elway has been very careful, calling him a great football player, but never a great quarterback.

so when they move him to Tight End, he'll be happy

Contract the Gophers said...

"john elway never played in a bowl game"


except for ones involving players running through marching band members

Blue said...

that loss kept him from going to his only bowl game

stupid band on the field

Jugdish said...

looks like they marched on his face

Keef said...

kod, are you getting into Austin on Thursday?

Jugdish said...

stupid band on the field


their are just as important as the team!!

/freak

Keef said...

cmon bro, it's April

Jugdish said...

their...suite

Keef said...

"their are just as important as the team!!"


yeah, you bet their are

Jugdish said...

freak said that, not me

I hate New York said...

i hope pouncey lasts to jints

Contract the Gophers said...

kod, are you getting into Austin on Thursday?


-that would be September 22nd, right? Yeah, I figured as long as someone else (or more) was going that day, I would too. I just didn't want to go Thursday if it would be just me there.

Contract the Gophers said...

Headline of the day (so far):

"Warren G: I Don't Have Erectile Dysfunction!"


geezalo, an updated version of Regulators would be pretty damn sad

I hate New York said...

you mean warren g cannot regulate

I hate New York said...

i cant wait to see if newton goes #1, if he doesnt i feel bad for keef

cuz he'll go there

Jugdish said...

keef is going #1?

Jugdish said...

no, i just walked away

/keef

Keef said...

Newton or Palmer? Shit or shat?

Blue said...

Jordan Palmer?

Keef said...

him too

Jugdish said...

Arnold

Blue said...

made the first cut to be CFO for the department of transportation here.

that's about as far as i'll get, but at least i made the first cut

Keef said...

robert palmer

Keef said...

He only kilt* her because he loved her so much

/orenthal

Spaceman Spiff said...

pineda does it again

Spaceman Spiff said...

bosh with mind audio

Keef said...

goddamn, I was going to pick up Pineda in one of my leagues but I forgot goddamn spiff was in that league

tem said...

"made the first cut to be CFO for the department of transportation here."


like the goverment entity?

Blue said...

yep, liker working for the gov't

I hate New York said...

i have pineda

I hate New York said...

too

Blue said...

i've got no shot at the job...just hoping that it pays shittily enough that the people qualified for it wouldn't apply

Keef said...

Sportclips time

tem said...

so you might have a shit* at it?

I hate New York said...

God's Gift Achiuwa -- a 6-foot-8 power forward and first-team juco All-American from Erie (N.Y.) Community College -- is the ninth player to commit to the Red Storm for next season. St. John's has the No. 3-ranked recruiting class, according to ESPN Insider's top 25.

Keef said...

Finally gonna sign the life insurance paperwork tonight.

Keef said...

I'ma have to start watching my back now

s

Jugdish said...

Finally gonna sign the life insurance paperwork tonight.



any of that coming my way?

/mize

Contract the Gophers said...

"that's about as far as i'll get, but at least i made the first cut"


well, the first cut is the deepest


and if any of you think that's a Cheryl Crow song I'm gonna punch you in the back of the head at the Summit

Keef said...

That's my favorite Cheryl Crow song

Jugdish said...

and if any of you think that's a Cheryl Crow song I'm gonna punch you in the back of the head at the Summit



no

/cmblue

Contract the Gophers said...

or Sheryl, whatever

I hate New York said...

cue the uncle joey

Spaceman Spiff said...

kod, brutal
"against the Twins, Zobrist has as many RBI in 2 days as any Twin has all season"

Contract the Gophers said...

brutal sums up the season so far pretty well



-although, I'm still optimistic about the season, and the main reason is that the Twins usually dominate the AL Central, and we've only played 4 division games so far (3-1 in them)

-we also usually struggle a LOT against the AL East, who we have played a shitton of games against so far.

-so, odds are past division winning teams would have struggled to about the same extent if their schedule started the same way this season's squad did.

*plus, the injuries

Keef said...

Wall

Blue said...

and the degenerative leg weakness

Spaceman Spiff said...

blue bought dareus his draft day jewelry

Blue said...

dareus is from birmingham, and never having lived where somebody was going to be a top pick i guess i never realized how big of a deal it is.

they were broadcasting all over the radio and on tv that he was having a draft party/celebration at some club downtown on friday night

Blue said...

i'm guessing they probably won't have the party unless it's a wind powered party

Contract the Gophers said...

and the degenerative leg weakness


after all the shit I've talked about Prior going #1, I'm surprised it took this long for my jinxing powers to take hold

Contract the Gophers said...

oof, I mean all the shit I talked about the people who questioned the Twins for taking Mauer ahead of Prior


long day, but inexcusable

Fear The Queers said...

Work was lamesauce today

Fear The Queers said...

"i've always wanted to see a tornado. but not be in one."


I've been in a couple. It's cool.

Keef said...

Ok Dorothy

tem said...

Spiff, kindly find nude pics of tommy lee's tutor from when he had that tv show where he went back to school. Natalie reidman

Spaceman Spiff said...

white sox havent committed an error, havent allowed a hit, are down 0-2

NO-NO THROUGH 3

tem said...

Thanks and regards

tem said...

Thanks and regards

Keef said...

Fuck, the dude I'm playing in my $ league this week has Zobrist

Keef said...

I guess kod should sit and ponder Minny's pick

Fear The Queers said...

OMJ

tem said...

Giants gonna take that DE that tampa could use

tem said...

Or not

Todd Packer said...

My shot wwf letters right now in my game against Keith

aaaiiiu

Todd Packer said...

NFL draft is not sucking me

Fear The Queers said...

It sucked me until the Lions picked. That's all I needed to see.

Fear The Queers said...

Gonna finish these downloads & get to creating Demolition, Flair, and maybe DDP on WWE All Stars

Keef said...

"My shot wwf letters right now in my game against Keith

aaaiiiu"



I've got cdlmrnt

tem said...

USA USA USA USA

Spaceman Spiff said...

"reggie_bush Reggie Bush
It's been fun New Orleans."

hilarity

Keef said...

Wwf does not recognize porked as a word

Keef said...

Tonight hsil says to csil, "I wonder how Kate Middleton is feeling right about now". Csil replies with "I don't know who that is. Is that the Kate plus 8 lady?" She is smrt

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