Thursday, March 31, 2011

2011 NL Preview

This is long. LMC

NL West
San Francisco Giants (93-69): Reigning champs, I see no reason why they won’t win this division again. The top 4 of their rotation are as good as anything outside of Philly. Buster Posey is a man. Brian Wilson has a beard that is sweeter than the sweetest honey, even though he’s a little dinged up right now. I believe that they are going to keep top prospect Brandon Belt and plug him in at first base to start the season instead of giving him some more time in AAA. If he can hit like he’s expected, AHIK*, watch out. Kung Fu Panda had an awful year last year, so he spent the off-season on good conditioning program and came into camp in grate* shape. Only thing that they have against them is that they’re getting a little long in the tooth. Starters Tejada, Huff, Derosa, & Sanchez are a combined 250 years old. Google it. But I think they can put together 1 more run.
Player to watch: Brandon Belt. Can he win ROY?

Colorado Rockies (88-74): Solid young nucleus that is locked up for many years. Too many people are picking them to win, though. Obviously they’re led by Tulo & CarGo, but they have other pieces in place that I like. I like the addition of Wigginton in the off-season. Dude can play just about anywhere and is grate* coming off the bench. They’re ‘pen is one of the best in the league. The rotation is what scares me off. Ubaldo was grate for 3 ½ months, and then turned into garbage. Chacin is a good young pitcher but I don’t think he’s ready to make the jump yet. The rest of the starters are poopoo. When Jorge De La Rosa is your #2 pitcher, well, Jorge De La Rosa is your #2 pitcher. Helton and Giambi are a combined 89 years old. Google it.
Player to watch: Dexter Fowler. Can he get on base enough to steal 30-40 bases and give Tulo/CarGo RBI opps?

San Diego Fathers (77-85): SD surprised pretty much everyone last season. Will they do it again? No. But they won’t be terrible, despite having a roster of no-names and well traveled veterans. They’ve added ODogg, Bartlett, & Cameron Maybin up the middle, so defensively they’re in good shape. The question is once again, where are they going to get their runs, especially with the absence of AGonz? And Latos is going to miss the first few weeks of the season, so the other youngsters really need to step up. If they can get some leads to the 9th inning, AHIK*, there is noone better than Heath Bell.
Player to watch: Chase Headley. This is a make or brake* season for him. He was their #1 prospect a few years ago, and he hasn’t done dick in the bigs yet. I think this year is his last chance to prove something.

Arizona Dbacks (73-89): I’m not really sure what’s going on here in the PHX with this team. They got rid of guys like Reynolds & LaRoche because they K’d a lot, and then they go and sign Russell Branyan. Really? I think Mize is the only guy in the world who likes Branyan. I do think that this is the year that Upton makes his jump. He struggled a lot last year, which I think only helps him for this season. They pickt* up JJ Putz to close games, which I guess is better than Chad Qualls. The Melvin Mora pickup was good, if this was 2005. AHIK*. Maybe we’ll see some cool Kirk Gibson ejections this season.
Player to watch: Juan Miranda. Got him in a trade with the Yankees last season, has the potential for 30 HR.

LA Dodgers of Los Angeles (68-94): Oof, this o-fence is brutal. Thames, Kemp, Ethier, Blake, Furcal, Uribe, Loney, Barajas. Re-read that. Are they going to score 400 runs this year? Seriously? People talk about how grate* their pitching is, but I don’t see it. Kershaw, yes. Billingsley? They just renewed him for 3 more years for $40. He's not worth it but I guess they're trying to show that they are trying. Lilly is ok, but not a world beater. Kuroda? Stop it. Broxton was downright awful the 2nd half of last season. This is just a bad team with a bad ownership situation.
Player to watch: Broxton, I guess. Can he bounce back from last season’s bad 2nd half?

NL Central
Chicago Cubs (91-71): Just a gut feeling with this one. Every year there is a surprise team, and I think it’s the Cubs this season. I really like Quade running the team, he’s a grate* baseball guy. The best thing he could have done in spring was get rid of Silva, and he did it. Now, granted, their offense is a question mark right now. But Pena gives them a ton of power and plays a solid first base. And he’s not going to hit < .200 again, I could see him being about .240-.250 with 40 HR. That’s not unrealistic from him. Their pitching is the strength, obviously. I think the Colvin will replace Soriano in LF sooner rather than later, because we’ve seen that Quade isn’t afraid of making a statement. And their 7th, 8th, 9th inning guys Marshall, Wood, & Marmol are filthy. They’ll win a lot of 3-2, 4-3 games this season.
Player to watch: Matt Garza. Coming over from the AL East to the NL Central is like pitching against MLB talent and then against AAA. He should thrive in the #3 spot of that rotation.

Milwaukee Breer’s* (87-75): Exciting off-season for the Breer’s with the addition of Dap Greinke & Marcum. And this week they added Nyjer Morgan as insurance for Carlos Gomez. Solid pickup there. Their big question marks are RF (with Hart out), SS, & C. But they really are only going to go as far as their Big 3 at the top of the rotation take them. Is Yo really a #1? I’m not really sure. I’m leaning towards no. Greinke will start the season on the DL, and I don’t think they’re going to try to rush him back since it’s a rib injury. And when Hart is healthy, the middle of that lineup with him, Prince, Brawn*, and McGehee is top notch. They’ve handed the reigns to another Scioscia disciple, Roenicke, so we’ll see what he can do with it.
Player to watch: John Axford. He took over for Hoffman during the middle of the season last year and pitched well. He had control issues before, so has he been able to shake those to become a top tier closer?

Cincinnati Reds (86-76): Last year was special for Cincy. IDGAF if they were no-hit and swept out of the playoffs. The fact that they made the playoffs as a division winner was huge. Walt Jockety is building something pretty nice in the Queen City. Right now their big issue is their starting pitching, which is what I think is going to keep them from making a serious run this season. Cueto & Bailey are going to start the season on the DL with shoulder issues. Hopefully Arroyo has kicked his mononucleosis. But offensively, this team can rake. Led by Votto & Bruce (affectionately known as White Jesus by Tyler), they are going to score a lot of runs. Their big ?s are at SS & C. I also don’t see Cordero finishing the season as the closer with his control issues and Chapman sitting right there ready to take over.
Player to watch: Drew Stubbs. Has the potential to be a 30/30 guy batting leadoff, and plays solid D.

StL Cards (81-81): The Wainwright injury kills the LaRussas. Their starting pitching consists of Carpenter, Jaime Garcia, and poop. Offensively, it’s Pooholes & Holliday, and maybe Rasmus & Freese. I don’t know what those fans have to look forward to in StL. I mean, they have Miguel fucking Batista in their bullpen now. Shouldn’t be be somewhere writing poetry right now? For realz. And they’ve got fat Elvis in the OF. I don’t know how LaRussa can pull any of his magic with these guys. If they had Wainwright, I’d give them a shot. But not without him.
Player to watch: Pooholes, it’s a contract year!! /h
AJA, Jaime Garcia. He had a good rookie year, let’s see what he can do in year 2 now that the league has seen him at least once.

Goddamn Pirates (73-89): Good news, they’re not gonna finish last. Bad news, they’re still the goddamn Pirates. But they do have a new manager and some good young talent. McCutcheon is an exciting young guy. Pedro Alvarez could potentially hit 30 HR & drive in 100. What they do lack is pitching. Starters and relievers. But Ohlendork* could still end up being decent.
Player to watch: Jose Tabata. Acquired in the Xavier Nady trade, they’ve been waiting for him to make it to the bigs. This is his chance. He’ll be starting in LF on Opening Day.

Houston Astros (64-98): Awful team in Jugland. Their Opening Day starter is Brett Myers. Yep, THAT Brett Myers. The wife beater. Their #2 pitcher is named Wandy. The only thing I like about this team is Hunter Pence.
Player to watch: JA Happ. I was going to say Bill Hall, for mize’s sake. But Happ is who they got in the Oswalt deal last year. He’s pitched well, this could be the year he makes the jump to a top of the rotation guy.

NL East
Philadelphia Phillies (100-62): I just vomited in my mouth. I fucking hate Philly. But who else in the East is going to challenge them? They’ll have this division wrapped up by the end of August. The biggest question for them is how long will it take for key guys (Utley, Lidge, Brown) back from injury. I hope they never come back.
Player to watch: Dominic Brown. Great young player. But I hope he’s hurt all year. Fuck Philly.

Atlanta Braves (87-75): New manager. Gonna be weird not seeing Bobby Cox’s old ass sitting on the bench and bitching at the umpires anymore. They’ve got a rookie closing games. Chipper Jones is 45 years old. Google it. BTW, I just typed Google into MS Word, and it has the red squiggly line underneath it. Weird. But I digress. Jason Heyward has a year under his belt and is ready for a monster year. Their starting pitching is not bad. Hudson still has gas in the tank, Tommy Hanson is in year 3 now, Derek Lowe will give you innings. They’re in a weak (except for Philly) division, so a 2nd place finish is realistic.
Player to watch: Freddie Freeman. That’s a great name. He came up for a few games last year, but this year he’s the man at 1B from day 1. Expect big things.

Florida Marlins (85-77): Lots of young talent on offense, and some veterans in the rotation. I like the addition of Javy Vazquez. He’s grate* in the NL and awful in the AL. Good thing for him the ‘fins (/LP) are in the NL. Mike Stanton has seen the league once, and he’s ready to drop bombs. Hanley is Hanley. He’ll drive his manager crazy, but his talent will override that. Josh Johnson is a top 5 pitcher in the league.
Player to watch: Stanton. Has 40 HR potential, even in that giant park. He’ll K a lot, but who cares? Chicks dig the long ball.

New York Mess (75-87): Oh, shall we call this the curse of Madoff? This team is fuckt*. I heard Al Leiter on Rome the other day, and he said it’s going to be easily 5 years before the Mess are contenders again. I’d go along with that. They have a lot of issues. What to like about them? Ike Davis & DWright. What to dislike about them? Everything else. Sorry LP, you deserve better for all the positive shit you wrote about them at the Stache.
Player to watch: Angel Pagan. Was last year a fluke, or did he finally show the talent that had been expected of him for years?

Washington Nationals (68-94): If Strasburg was healthy, AHIK*, I’d have them ahead of the Mess. But without him, they are among the worst in beisbol. The only thing I like about this team is Ryan Zimmerman. Now that Jayson Werth got his big payday, he’s going to be a middle of the road player. I guarantee it.
Player to watch: Strasburg. Even if he’s not pitching, he’s more exciting than anyone else on this team. Will the Nats try to rush him back by the end of the season or will they use their brains and wait until 2012 and we’ll watch him pitch from our tents.

MVP: Troy Tulowitzki
Cy Young: Roy Halladay
ROY: Brandon Belt

Playoffs: Colorado over Philly, Chicago over SF
NLCS: Colorado over Chicago

Who you got in the AL, LP?

Wednesday, March 30, 2011

Running Late

I overslept so this is all you get for now. I'll add more later that you won't read

CU lost in the NIT semifinals, guess they didn't deserve to be in the tourney instead of VCU.

Ok that's all for amongst yourselves

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Tee Cee Ess Round 1

I think people should be able to get cards that allow them to go through red lights if they are a good enough driver. Hell, I am smart enough to know when it is OK to go. Give me a card and let the dumbasses wait.

Anyway, TCS round 1 starts now. The following people made round 1, but I am not telling you who is playing who.

jug beth elpad blue keith spiff freak tp

max points per day: 30
double dragon: 3 points - if i think you faked it i will deduct 2
natty z: 1 point -all nattys must contain at least 20 words combined for the 4 comments
prime z: 3 points
30 min wall: 2 points
60 min wall: 3 points
120 min wall: 5 points
240 min wall: 7 points
480 min wall: 10 points
600 min wall: 20 points
nekkid picture of beth: instant title
nekkid picture of hsilok: bye to title game
good dat ass: 2 pointts -max 1 per day per person
bad dat ass: -2 points
good dem tits: 2 points -max 1 per day per person
bad dem tits: -2 points
good so's your face: 2 points
baiting someone: 5 points
failed bait: no penalty
first comment: 1 point
19th comment: 1 point
sparta: 2 points
spam: -10 points. spam is bad.
rev: 20 points
104th comment: 3 points
failed new/old: -2 points
new/old: 2 points. a split new/old between 2 people is worth 1 point per person.
block: 1 point
good comment: 1 point
explaining to me what Battlestar Galactica is: 5 points
updating me on the whereabouts and recent activity of Alicia Silverstone: 5 points
Guessing my mom's age: 5 points - closest without going over wins, you get 1 guess

Monday, March 28, 2011


Jug on LOV on a Monday is like Beth on LOV on the weekends...sometimes it happens.

You're ElPad Newton. You're a college football player who has declared for the draft. You call all your teams offensive plays and all the players look up to you. You just won the national championship and now you're preparing for the draft. The league you will enter is talking about boycotting the draft, but this is a moment you've been waiting your whole life for. Do you skip the draft?

Since I didn't fill out a bracket this season I haven't watched any college basketball during the tournament. I've been busy anyways. Freak is happy though. Turns out he is also a big VCU fan!

Bulls up 2 games on the Celtics (O:FB) with about 10 to play. Boston may drop below Miami. Derrick Rose is good at the game of basketball.

I rented The Fighter this weekend...good flick. You should see it. Vince Papale boxes.

I'll find a couple decent hotels for Summit II this week and make a reservation...not too early to book flights.

I played basketball this weekend for the first time in several years. I'm not any good, but it was fun.

Blogger is giving me problems tonight, so I'm done.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Break Bread

The real problem I have with the Rebecca Black video is whats with all the promiscuous auto safety. I mean that is just dangerous.

Gonna second Tem's thought here. Blaine Gabbert 1st overall? Really?

Fuck Dook. HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Haven't mentioned the Wildcats in a long time.

Butler won again and I'm kind of getting sick and tired of it. I think it's because Freak is involved.

Kemba Walker >> Jimmer

Between Duke, BYU, Sconnie and Butler and sprinkle in some Florida we had a suite white boy theme going.

VCU, OSU, UNC, KU your winners tonight.

Lots of unrest in the Arab lands. I read some article that this would set the stage for a third World War. That's silly talk. USA alone would obliterate all the Arab countries combined. I don't mean the allies we have in the Middle East, I mean the shit streets of Libya and the like. America shits a bigger GDP than Yemen.

Portugal is the poorest European country and only 28% of the people graduate high school. Czhech first with 90%, by the way, America is 88%. Which should be better if it werent for animals eating on the subway. Speaking of that, Latinos and Asians made the biggest leap in the 2010 Census. I mean, like we didn't know that.

My favorite meal is dinner. Tonight we feast and laugh.

Thursday, March 24, 2011


TPS has sucked lately, and it looks like it will continue to do so...woe!

"I'd like to see how smart Theo Epstein is with the Tampa Bay [Rays] payroll," Showalter told Men's Journal, according to the Record. "You got Carl Crawford 'cause you paid more than anyone else, and that's what makes you smarter?


Keef, what do you think about the whole Carson Palmer scenario?

Is there going to be a Mize/Freak bet for the Sconnie/Butler game (since Freak is suddenly a Butler fan. /keef)?

There was some talk about pinning down a date for the Summit II...I think I threw out the weekend of September 24...thoughts? Let me know and I'll start looking into Austin Hotels.

Bulls alone in first...suite!

Is Lp writing for the stache again this year?

That's all I have today.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

had a flare up

on my grill you sick fucks, i've got valtrex to keep my herpes under control (s)

Singed my beard from the heat, it was kind of cool.

There's a lot of legal stuff going on in the world of sports, beth is very wet.

Keep TCSing fools

The audit has me backed into a corner and is giving it to me like EP gives it to a pygmy goat.

"hey a hole is a hole" /TJW

Carry on

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

Tee Cee Ess

Ever notice how a tube of toothpaste looks empty, but you can get like another 2 weeks of use out of it? Then deodorant is the other way. You think you have lots left, but then bam, the sucker is empty.

I notice that stuff.


round robin round determines seeding. (This starts today)
8 people make the tourney.
tourney works like tourneys do.
as always winner gets a tee cee ess prize pack.
i will add to the ways you can score as we go, so you should keep looking.
i will post the ways to score each week.

max points per day: 30
double dragon: 3 points - if i think you faked it i will deduct 2
natty z: 1 point -all nattys must contain at least 20 words combined for the 4 comments
prime z: 3 points
30 min wall: 2 points
60 min wall: 3 points
120 min wall: 5 points
240 min wall: 7 points
480 min wall: 10 points
600 min wall: 20 points
nekkid picture of beth: instant title
nekkid picture of hsilok: bye to title game
good dat ass: 2 pointts -max 1 per day per person
bad dat ass: -2 points
good dem tits: 2 points -max 1 per day per person
bad dem tits: -2 points
good so's your face: 2 points
baiting someone: 5 points
failed bait: no penalty
first comment: 1 point
19th comment: 1 point
sparta: 2 points
spam: -10 points. spam is bad.
rev: 20 points
104th comment: 3 points
failed new/old: -2 points
new/old: 2 points. a split new/old between 2 people is worth 1 point per person.
block: 1 point
good comment: 1 point
link of the guy singing with puppets and g. paltrow: 5 points -one allowed per tourney
explaining to me what the show castle is about: 5 points
explaining to me who the fuck rebecca black is and why i should or should not care: 3 points


Monday, March 21, 2011

Fucking big least

Those 3 words by spiff make me laugh every time. 64 teams started the tournament on Thursday. 48 of those team lost over the weekend. 9 of those 48 teams that lost were Big Least teams. It probably would have been 11/48 if 2 of the games weren't big least vs big least. Basically the moral of this story is this...the big least is awful. Lesson learnt.

We are about 10 days away from Opening Day in MLB. There seems to have been a lot of injures to big names during Spring Training this season. Wainwright, Brian Wilson, Heyward, Utley, Dap Greinke, Carpenter, Peavy, Mauer, Sizemore, Andrew Bailey, Lidge, and I'm sure there are more that I'm missing. Basically the moral of this story is...bring back roids & HGH.

Big least. Hahahahahahahahahahahahaba, holy crap I'm choking.

It's bombs over Tripoli right now. It's cool when all of the big boys decide "hey, let's go bomb the fuck out of some third world nation" and then the guy running that country says that those countries will lose the war. Hey Moammar, tell us how our asses taste. Basically the moral of this story is this...don't live in shitty countries.

Random tem-note. That Fred Armison guy on SNL plays an excellent Moammar.

So I'm trying to buy one of those big Rubbermaid sheds on Craigslist, but every time one gets posted and I email or call the person, the fucking thing is already sold. Drives me crazy. Basically the moral of this story is this...don't have so much shit that you have to buy a shed to put it in.

Here we go big least, back to our campuses because we all suck ass but at least we will have more time to rest up before we spend all our energy beating each other up again next season before we flame out when it really matters, here we go ::clap clap::

LP don't forget about our Y! FMLB draft yesterday at noon EDT. Basically the moral of this story is our comments because they might actually involve useful information sometimes.

Speaking of which, I am in need of a closer. I have some bats or starters to trade. Or I can trade some coffee for your closer. Basically e moral of this story is is for closers only.

Friday, March 18, 2011


Missed: Louisville, Mich St., Princeton, St. Johns

Should have seen St. Johns one, Zags tough. Now the Spiders can advance easier, although that #35 is a beast on Morehead.

I taught at Morehead.

Suite last second games.

In the LOV bracket I had Belmont. That, in hindsight, was silly.

Two upsets I have today is Florida St. and Marquette.

Kids wake up early.

No corn beef hash this morning. Woe.

Maybe I'll get a TV today.

I boat* my mom a plane ticket and caved on location. She wanted to fly in out of Asheville, NC but Charlotte was cheaper by about $70. Charlotte is also a three hour drive as opposed to a half hour drive. I guess I'm nice for buying the Asheville ticket. I don't know why I told this story.

I have to turn off Sportscenter now, BGEP is up and wants to watch Super Why.

Knicks scored half their points from three pointers.

Yeah but they lost to the Pacers twice.


Oh if you are in a Trader Joes buy the fried Macaroni and Cheese Balls by the dozen in the frozen aisle. Your welcome.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

I think Jug is in Vegas

I remember him saying something like that. But not saying that particularly...then he was tweeting all these cool pictures of sbarro's and sock stores that I remembered.

Tourney starts today, in case you didn't know.

I'm very ill prepared.

Jokes cut from the Donald Trump roast broadcast: These were all by the Situation

"Yo Snoop, what up dawg ... you know you have so much in common with Donald Trump? Trump's ancestors were into real estate ... and your ancestors were considered property."

"I'm not from New Jersey ... I was born in Staten Island which is a New York borough ... not to be confused with the burro Marlee Matlin bl*ws onstage in Tijuana ...Relax, she didn't even hear it ... I mean hey, at least her mouth is good for something right? Hey, that was definitely some great work Marlee ... have you ever done anything else actually?"

"Larry King is rockin' the Armani diaper ... Seth MacFarlane is sporting Victoria's Secret ... panties. And Snoop is wearing a Louis Vuitton condom ... nah, I'm just kidding, he don't wear condoms, you know that!"

"I like Larry King ... he's a playa ... he actually wrote a book named 'Mr. King Is Having a Heart Attack' ... he got that title from a hooker he was f**king."

"Trump is a good looking dude ... if your eyes are like Marlee Matlin's ears."

Straight Awesome

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

prepare to be bedazzled

I'm sorry, can't afford a Ferrari

Watching Tosh last night, the web redemption was great. Bringing back 40 year old dudes who were in Karate kid is awesome. I just wish the "get him a body bag" guy was there.

For those of you who don't know what i'm talking about (at the 27 second mark)

I remember seeing that movie in the theater as a little kid, and the entire crowd standing up and cheering at the end. I've never been to another movie where that has ever happened.
Re-watching that scene, Johnny is a really shitty fighter in that last point, he just runs straight at Danielson...what is that? The only thing better would have been a body slam ala Casey Heynes also known as Casey the Punisher, also known as fat kid who beat down the bully.

I think i'm picking Duke to win the tournament, especially if they have that one black kid back. Having a black kid puts them over the top...Steve knows.

Discussion about the greatest team to have never won the NCAA championship always has to start with the Fab5 teams. People remember that C-Webb was the star, but Jalen Rose was the leader of that team, he was a pmip.* Of course the phi-slamma-jamma teams that had Akeem and Clyde were great teams to have never won as well. I'm sure there are others, but those are the 2 that stand out to me.

Eat cereal and shit bricks

Enjoy this video, it's great

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

My bracket

First, too soon Gilbert Gottfried, too soon.

Thousands of bodies wash up on Japan's shoreline. That must be gross. The ocean is like a big fucking pool.

In honor of Freak:

1st Round Winners:

Penn St
GA Tech
Ohio St
Zona St
Notre Dame
St. Johns
North Carolina
West Virginia
Green Bay
Mich State
Middle Tenn
Flordia State
Texas A&M

You'll have to figure out the remaining winners on your own.

Monday, March 14, 2011


The brackets are out. We have a Y! Tourney pick 'em. League ID is 88290, PW is tits.

This is my favorite time of year. Spring training is in full gear. NCAA tourney time. Spring time means the clothes come off in public. Sun dresses. /mize. And the temperatures are rising which means that pool time is closing in.

While we're on the topic of the NCAA tourney, my final 4 picks are OSU, Kansas, Duke, and Wisconsin. Lots of chalk in my first bracket of the year. My big upset of the 1st round is Princeton over Kentucky.

Where is the woman's* tourney preview? /freak

I actually remembered one thing I wanted to mention in my post this week. I don't understand how/why the NCAA rules on some things, obviously. But for this I'm talking about Cam Newton's situation vs the situation with the basketball player at Baylor. Baylor's stud freshman was ruled ineligible last week when the NCAA found that his mom was given loans (that she paid back ) from his AAU coach when he was still in hike school. His mom broke a rule, and he gets ruled ineligible. Now, Cam Newton's dad was trying to get money from schools to get his son to play there. Newton doesn't get any punishment because they said he didn't know what was going on. I understand that the mom of the Baylor player got cash money, but I don't understand the huge discrepancy between the two stories. They bolth* have parents who clearly did something wrong, but only one of them got punished. I'll nerve understand the NCAA rules.

Fear the deer!!!!

I am currently watching the Fab Five show on ESPN. This is one of the best docs I've seen in a long time. Even though I'm obviously a huge tOSU fan, I was a fan of watching the Fab Five when I was in hike school. I didn't necessarily want to see them win, but I liked watching them play and put on their show. Seeing CWebb call the TO against UNC was awesome. I think the only thing that would have made this doc better was if CWebb wasn't such a huge bitch and been involved. But all in all, this has been a pretty suite show.

Bgas. is sick for the first time. Sucks. Gotta call the doc this morning to get her in. She's got a bad coff* and it sounds like she's gurgling water when she breathes through her mouth.

Friday, March 11, 2011


Moving along. I'm off next thurs and friday, wish it was to sit back with the boys and bang back beers for two days while watching dramatic college basketball games. Instead I'll be crib shopping. (Crib as in baby bed not as in house). So fuck my life i guess. I also need a new TV cuz it broke. And I owe NYS taxes. Woe.

On the bright side I'm awesome.

I still see ads for like 1-900 numbers to talk to chicks late at night. Can't believe they are still in business with all the free porn out there. Like someone still calls these numbers to talk to chicks? How lame.

Stan Van Gundy seems fun. And it sounds like Stern put a hit out on the Hedgehog.

There was an earthqauke in Yapan* and this may cause a Tsunami in Cali so spiff, T, hop on a fun fare out of there. Goddamn just saw the videos out of Japan. Drowning is awful.

I gots to see about closing.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

Jug Thursday

H asked about Summitt II last night...I'll throw a weekend out there. How does the weekend of Sept 24th work for everyone?

I need a spot started next week as I'm going to Vegas. I dap Mize to start. I'm going to Vegas for cgjid's birthday, she is turning the big 3-0. There are a few others going with us. I was bummed to learn that our flight leaves to come back on Thursday at 10. No tourney games for Jug in Vegas.

You know maybe if that lawyer checked the red exclamation point in that email to Tressel then this whole thing may never have happened.

Keef mentioned the prank of the week on Tosh last night...that was hilarity. The atomic situp. We did it differently back in school...we put the towel over their head and spun them around, told them they'd be too dizzy to do one situp. The results were the same...hilarity.


Wade says he isn't going to watch TV until the crying jokes stop...hilarity.

That's all I got today...TPS is being a pain.

Wednesday, March 09, 2011

Ash Wednesday

Blue had to go get ashed this morning, thus the late post.

I won't ask what people are giving up for lent, because this isn't a religious blog.

George Karl got a contract extension. Little known fact, he hasn't had a losing season for the 18 straight seasons (working on 19 this year). That's somewhat impressive I think. Love him or hate him, he'll probably won't end up in the HoF if he doesn't win a championship.

Jim Tressel's pants are on fire. Maybe it's his gold pants, I don't know.

You know who's pants aren't on fire, the Miami Heat. O:FMH is going very awesome. Now there is infighting because Bosh isn't getting enough touches. What did you expect douche?
I'm sure in the team meetings Spoelstra is thinking, "if we could only figure out a way to get Bosh more involved"

Butler is back in the's to a second round exit for them.

Mize gave greinke too hard of an elbow in their pickup game of "basketball". That's all fine, but doesn't explain why they were playing in the nude.

Broncos show lots of interest in Cam Newton...or really just trying to make people think that so they'll trade up and take the #2 pick if they really like CAM. Unfortunately, teams aren't dumb...except the Raiders, and they won't trade that far up...then again, maybe the Bills are that dumb.

Baseball is only a few weeks away...we need one more team in the Y! league...c'mon interested parties, you know you want to play.

Tuesday, March 08, 2011

Big East Time

Big East Tourney Time!

AKA let's see what team gets overrated and then flames out in the NCAAs.

But first....


I was woken up this morning by a squirrel making a horrendouse noise outside my window. Femtem said it was a bird, but I got up and saw the fucker. It was a goddman squirrel. I had no idea squirrels made such a noise. I think it was its mating call. Or it was choking on a nut (yes! /lp). I hope the little guy or girl was OK. Femtem did not like it when I threatened to shoot the squirell and eat it. Especially since she still thought it was a bird.

That got me thinking, has anyone seen a baby squirrel? WTF do those look like?

Tourney Picks

UConn vs Depaul - UConn will roll.

Seton Hall vs Rutgers - Rutgers wins a minor upset.

Nova vs USF - Nova rolls.

Marquette vs Providence - I think Providence wins.

2nd Round

Uconn vs Gtown - UConn wins.

Rutgers vs St. Johns - St. Johns wins.

Nova vs Cinci - Nova wins

Providence vs WVU - WVU wins

3rd Round

UConn vs Pitt - Pitt wins. I hate Pitt.

St. Johns vs Cuse - Cuse wins. Cuse playing tough lately.

Nova vs Notre Dame - Nova magic runs out. ND wins. ND is also a popular wedding site.

WVU vs Louisville - Louisville wins

4th Round

Cuse beats Pitt

ND beats Louisville


Cuse bets ND

Monday, March 07, 2011


That's the sound you hear coming out of the Heat locker room. They sound like a bunch of fucking spoiled babies right now. Just shut up and play basketball. Maybe try to win a game. And by "try to win a game", I mean give the ball to someone other than Lebron on the final possession, because obviously he's not a closer. He needs to put that coffee DOWN. Now you've got them crying in the locker room after they lose. And DW is being all woe is us about the world not liking them and being happy about them losing. You know why people don't like youz guyz, Dwyane? Where do I start? I know this has been talked about ad nauseum. You've got public enemy #1 on your team. Your "power" forward is a 6'10", 175 lb whiny bitch. Your team president has been disliked by everyone for a long time. You put on such a ridiculous show during the offseason introducing your "big three". You guys talked about winning 6 or 7 titles. And now you guys are crying after games. Let's just get to your 2nd round playoff exit already.

Did anyone else besides yug see the Tosh standup? My favorite joke on the show was him talking about how he walks up to woman* and acts like a dog show judge and awards them 3rd, 2nd, and 1st.

March Madness is upon us now. The regular season is over and smaller conferences either just ended their tourneys or are in the middle of them, with the bigger conferences starting this week. TOSU, Kansas, UNC, and Pitt will be the #1 seeds. LP, I'll bet you the TOSU makes it deeper into the tourney than any Big lEast team. 1 week. I would bet you something of value but I know I'd never see it.


I need to start writing down shit that I think of for these posts. During the week I always think of 2 or 3 things and then Sunday night comes along and I can't think of anything to write other than recalling the weekend.

I'm on vacation this week. Well, kind of. I'm off during the day but still working at night. So I'll just watch the baby lay there and do nothing. But it still beats working. Maybe I'll job hunt and find something where I don't have to work at night.

So did mize get some pink this weekend? I say no. Big limb I'm going out on.

Friday, March 04, 2011


Extension reached on labor talks. Listen who cares. Casual fan don't wanna hear all this shit we just want to know if we have a season to look forward. Yes or no. Labor, plaintiffs, sue, owners, greed, etc. Blow me. Thursday night opening game? Talk to me.

I can watch Keenan Cahill videos all day long.

Any wine drinkers out there? I know a good deal about wine and I love it.

It's time to start complaining about gas again.

Does anyone want to be partners with me in fantasy baseball? It's $500 and my two partners bailed. This is NS. I have the first round pick, Pujols contract year. Wow.

I saw Greg McElroy scored 48 out of 50 on the Wonderlic. Only a punter scored a perfect 50 out of 50, the Bengals punter. We should all take it and see who scores the highest.


If I were a PBA bowler I'd change my name to Jimmy Rolls.
Golf? Jack Irons.
Baseballl? Sammy Spikes.
Bball? Jimmy Black.
Hockey? Claude Horton.
Football? John Lynch, nothing beats that name.

Thursday, March 03, 2011

Charlie Tweeter?

No, not the guy from Varsity Blues...although they seem to have similar lifestyles. And yes, I know its spelled Tweeder in the movie. Remember the older guy at the party in the letterman jacket who puts the flower pot on his head before Tweeder pops him in the nuts with the plastic bat? That guy is in the Mize of West Canaan.


I'm probably in the minority on this, but I don't find Sheen's "antics", "act", or quotes entertaining at all. I think part of it is just for show to get people to talk about him, follow him on twitter, etc. I think the other part of it is he has completlely lost touch with reality.

Until you have kids, you don't understand! /Blue

Neither does Sheen, the cops took his kids from him. He is a dumbass.
/Jug Rant>

How does Twitter verify accounts anyways? My guess is most of these celebrities have their handlers posting for them anyways, so what good is verifying it? If their handlers post something that makes them look dumb, they deny it or blame it on their brother.

Recently we have taken to the hitting each other in the nuts surprise shots at work. Gotta be on the lookout lately...don't want to get caught. That probably doesn't happen much in the office environment does it?

The Spurs lost their 11th game last night, which means they won't reach 72 wins to match the Bulls record. Tonight my brother and I had a Miller High Life, the champagne of beers, to celebrate the occasion. That's what the old 72 Dolphins do right?

Update: cgjid's aunt is still hanging on, but it is not going to be too much longer. They have her on a morphine drip just to ease her pain, as her organs are shutting down. cgjid is having a rough week and jug tries to keep his mouth shut...sometimes it works and sometimes it doesn't.

Today I tried to start a new game on Words with Friends with a random opponent, and it told me I have too many active games going. rut roh!

Ever play paintball? I'm buying a gun as soon as my tax return comes back and taking that hobby back up...suite!

TPS shitstorm this week...not good times.

That's all I got...

Wednesday, March 02, 2011

I forgot

I know it's no surprise, but I don't even know what day it is anymore.

I have no idea what's going on in the world other than Carlos Estevez is awesome

Thanks be to tem for letting me into the Y! league, now we need one more team so it's not an odd number...c'mon H/kod/beth

I wonder if zeke ever got married

audit season is a wonderful time in the accounting world. eteo. fucking auditors think you should be at their beck and call...hey man, i got shit to do.

can't even bribe them with stuff nowadays...what a ripoff.

i guess there's been this debate going on at WWL "who would you rather have, Lebron or Carmelo". This is the dumbest debate ever. Anyone who choosed 'melo deserves to have their credentials taken away and never allowed to speak on national television again. I like 'melo, but he's not even close to the same class as Lebron/Kobe. And if for no other reason than LaLa is annoying as shit, i'd pick Lebron everyday and twice on tuesday.

greinke is bruised...too much dapping by meiz i guess

Carson Palmer has $80M in the bank...that's redonk. I'm guessing it's not really in a bank, if it is, he's dumb. But maybe bank to him, is some investment portfolio. Still $80 socked away somewhere is crazy. This is what happens when white people get money, they don't "invest" in bentley's and spinning rims.

march madness is upon us...i have no idea what that means this year..all I know is that BYU will probably lose in the 2nd round, just like last year, a team that can just basically wall off the jimmer can beat byu pretty easily.

today's word of the day is wunderkind...discuss.

Tuesday, March 01, 2011


Post 1263. Could be bad.


I don't get spray on deodorants. I had to use one in vegas because I forgot to pack my usual stick stuff. I had trouble spraying it on my pits and not somewhere else, my pits felt wet afterwards and it burned. I did not like it at all. Does anyone here use the spray shit? WTF? The worst part was that my pits felt all wet afterwards. I don't think I was doing it right. twss

New Baby

I love it when new moms are telling older ladies who have like 3 kids of their own about how to raise a baby. New mom 1 is telling older mom 1 here in the office about how you need to do something with the baby because it excercises the baby. No shit. I bet old mom 1 knew that already. She has 3 kids of her own. She might know a thing or two.


WWL thinks the Ness have brought the excitement back to New Jersey. Whatever, they still suck. A great point guard doesn't win games with a bunch of losers around him. He needs someone more than a guy named Brook. I'm not even sure how the Ness blew that game. Scoreboard ticker showed them going up with very little time left. I guess Nash threw it to someone good and they made a shot. I don't think Williams resigns with the Ness. This will be a collosal waste of time for the Ness.


TPS has really picked up lately. I am not sure I like it. I have too much stuff to do and too little time to do it in. I'm taking friday off to go visit fsilot. I'll be in Beth territory. I'll do my best to find her. Not really. I am not going to try. Well maybe I'll ask random lawyer looking dudes if they know her.

OK, I'm done. I am bored.

Top Of The Page Material:

"Idiots with nothing better to do"

"Most Boston sports fans are just douchebags. Because most people from New England are douchebags." - tem

"Obama got elected because of the Rooney rule" - Jug

"you should never let debt stop you from pro-creating anyway" - El Padrino

"If you agree with EP, change your opinion." - H

"i'm dumb and sensitive. basically i'm a woman" - L Padrino

"I'm so horny this morning. If there wasn't this sex offender list going around id grope bitches on the train this morning" - L Padrino